#Do you know how long this queue is? No?

[fala-alfredo-pasta]

On the topic of Nagito resenting Izuru, I actually think it could go beyond that. Something that I'm not totally convinced about is none of Class 77 having any hard feelings towards Hajime. While them loving him inside the simulation makes perfect sense, would that really carry over smoothly once they were back out? Because his actions led to both them being brainwashed and for their deprogramming session being sabotaged in the first place. And to add insult to injury, he can take some solace in feeling less "tainted" than they are. Izuru had more autonomy and self-control during the Tragedy, while they were reduced to vicious idiots acting on whatever violent impulse came to them. Like with Sonia, she has to live with being known to the world as the tyrant queen who brought her homeland to ruin (though I personally like to headcanon that Novoselic is recovering). Meanwhile for the few people who are aware of a 15th Remnant, Hajime is "that one other dude with the long hair that we're not even sure killed that many people". I mean if I came out of the NWP with all that mental (and possibly physical) baggage, and the dude in our group who was most responsible for the rest of us becoming so fucked up was conversely the least guilty of us AND got handed a thousand super-talents...well I think I'd be a wee bit resentful and jealous. And going back to Nagito, it also seems a bit unrealistic to me that in most fanfics there doesn't seem to be any resistance from him to accepting medical aid from Hajime. Or dismay at discovering it was done while he was in a coma. Because on top of him probably not feeling like he'd want to prolong his life, accepting that kind of aid from the former Izuru would probably feel kind of infantilizing to be honest. Dude gets handed everything you ever wanted including a better version of your luck, he betrays Hope's Peak because he's bored, does absolutely nothing while someone dear to you is murdered and you and your classmates get brainwashed, sets things up so that your attempted suicide will actually result in you getting possessed by your nemesis...and now you're just meant to let him assert the power of a doctor over you and welcome him as your savior? I just think there'd probably need to be a moment where Nagito is convinced to accept treatment, rather than it being done to him without his consent. Make him feel assured that he has agency and control over his own body, and that continuing to live was his own choice. Because otherwise I think it could get really nasty. " I don't care that you're the most talented man alive. Even if I'd wanted to live, you, of all people on this planet, YOU are the last human being on Earth that I would want help from."

Ooo this be a spicy take! But some very good points! First off, sorry for taking so long to reply to this question it just this got me back into my Dangan theorist mode, and I wanted to replay all of Chapter 0/6 as well as read a summary of Zero in order to re-examine how the game and novel present Izuru Kamukura.

I’ll try my best not to derail this because Izuru’s whole existence and backstory is just…..such a brain worm for me that I can speculate on for hours. There’s just so much we don’t truly know if we’re basing this solely on the games (which I usually prefer to do seeing as the anime is filled with contradictions). But, doing so would mean having to excuse his involvement (or lack of) in preventing Chiaki’s murder and class 77’s brainwashing since there’s nothing within the games that indicates such things happening since even within game it flat out states Junko manipulated her high power connections (ie: the Ultimates), one by one and not in a batch.

She really only used video footage of explicit killing to manipulate the Reserve Course into rioting (Dr0), the rest of the world into more despair (Dr1) and as a way to taunt the Future Foundation (SDR2). Hell, technically, there is no proof that Chiaki actually existed in real life if we’re going only by the games too. That was something canonized by the anime.

Well okay. There may be ONE thing in the second game that can potentially confirm Chiaki’s existence in the real world and that’s her presence being listed in the book Nagito got with everyone's info. However, this was given to him by Monokuma and Nagito did destroy any of the information regarding his classmates time in and out of  school that could have very well revealed that Chiaki wasn’t ever there—but I digress and this aint about Chiaki rn this is about Izuru.

What we do know of him through the game is that he sees himself as being used by Junko and thus brought in a flash drive with her AI to insert into the Neo World Program as a virus so he could use her instead. This feels contradictory though, if the end result would be Junko taking over all their bodies. You can’t even argue that he did it so Hajime could override his present self and come back because that would have happened regardless (that was literally what was SUPPOSED to happen). So then why bring Junko back? How was he using her in that regard? Well, the only thing I can think of is that he pretty much already knew how it was all going to end, and that creating a killing game was the only way to ensure everyone stayed alive whilst retaining their old memories thus decreasing the chance of them falling back into Ultimate Despair when re-awakened and in a way saying “fuck you” to Junko’s despair and destroying the last remnants of her both in name and digitally.

Cool beans. He still lied to them all though. Junko states that each of them willingly went into the program knowing well that her virus was going to force them into a killing game to cause despair. Izuru, though, didn’t tell them his whole plan or how it was truly going to end, otherwise no one would have joined. And that’s not necessarily bad–he was doing it for their own good! Except, well, there’s not conclusive proof that he did so for their sake (and since we don’t know if Chiaki existed irl we don’t know if he did this for her). Also given how indifferent he is in-game, the fact that his surgery left him emotionally distant, and his lack of connection with class 77, well it’d be easier to believe that Izuru did this all purely out of self interest in a way to get “revenge” at Junko and perhaps alleviate his boredom.

Now, present Hajime WOULD have an emotional investment in class 77 and it’s that reason he sticks around to help them recover. But, honestly, I agree that the ex-remnants would take some time to come around to fully trusting him again because remember: they ARE still recovering from despair. It would not be surprising if their residual remnant emotions feel betrayed by him for lying to them and essentially killing off Junko for good. Add in their in-game memories conflicting with their past memories every time they see Hajime and he’s not quite the same Hajime they befriended thus reminding them that he’s also  that guy who just randomly showed up one day then manipulated them into a scheme for seemingly his own self interest, yeeeah it might take them a while before being buddy buddy with him.

Though they will eventually, but let’s focus on Nagito for a bit because he’d be the absolute last person to come around in fully trusting Hajime/Izuru. Because you see, while it was stated that the remnants agreed to be part of the killing game, we know for a fact that not ALL of them did so. And we know this because of chapter 0. In it, we see Nagito meeting Izuru for the first time (as Nagito literally says he’s never seen Izuru before), thus Izuru has not been in contact with Nagito to inform him of the plan (which actually brings into question WHY Nagito is even there/agreed to re-programming but that’s a theory for another day). We also see Nagito being very confused about Izuru’s talking about his flash drive with Junko’s AI in it. And, although he doesn’t fully understand what Izuru is planning, what he takes from it is that he’ll be able to see Junko again and get the chance of killing her himself. Izuru does not correct him or inform him of anything else. Meaning, Nagito knows absolutely nothing of the killing game he unknowingly signed up for nor of the possibility of his body being taken over by Junko.

In other words: NAGITO DID NOT CONSENT TO THIS AT ALL.

Unlike his classmates who can forgive Hajime’s actions as Izuru because yeah technically they DID agree to it, Nagito was not even informed much less had the option to say yes. You can argue that Izuru did so intentionally knowing that Nagito’s strange half-remnant state and intense resentment towards despair and Junko would have made him too much of a risk to the plan that is was better to leave him in the dark, but it still doesn’t change the fact that Nagito didn’t get a choice. Add in our previous discussion of why Nagito would be resentful towards Izuru because of all his gifted talents along with this and I’d say yeah, Nagito wouldn’t be all that welcoming toward accepting Hajime’s help post game.

This doesn’t even add in your note on pro-longing his life without his input or anything from the anime, so if Chiaki’s death was actually used as a trigger for class 77 and Izuru could have done something about it–YEAH that’s going to make the resentment exponentially worse.

So your last tidbit of Nagito getting a chance to decide something for himself just hits so strongly given he never got the chance to do so before. It’s the least he deserves now.

#anonymous #danganronpa #komaeda nagito #fala replies #sorry for the long post but once i get an excuse to talk about some of my #dangan theories and thoughts BOY do I use it #that being said pls never message me about my UDG theories because I WILL WRITE SO MUCH #(pls feel free to message me about my UDG theories i will write so much ;--;) #gosh this message really got me goin' lol replaying part of the game four years #later after knowing all the deets really reminded of...how mean Izuru was lmao #and the way he talks about talentless people is so on par with Nagito its honestly kinda #meaner than Nagito lol even Nagito basically just says “well it is what it is" #rather than wholeheartedly agreeing with him as you'd think he would #when even Nagito is like ''damn bro chill'' maybe you SHOULD chill lol #love me a sassy izuru #a e i o queue

[front-facing-pokemon]

#cascoon #it's like silcoon‚ but purple and pointy! desperately trying to remember how this one comes about. i'm gonna seem like a fake pokémon fan #i know silcoon and cascoon are both evolutions of wurmple. but i don't remember what the criteria are. is it a gender thing? hold on google #oh. it's just. some hidden personality value. so it's effectively random #y'know what. i think that's better than it being a gender thing. shoutout. but it could be considerably more interesting #maybe i'm just conditioned by the hitmonline to think that every evolution criteria has to be stupid and obscure and insane #or finizen At All #or all the stupid-ass trade evos. do not like trade evos. i do Not like trade evos! i have said this before but i will keep saying it #i just realized i called cascoon purple and pointy as though silcoon was not pointy. i'm not with it at all this morning #i just woke up‚ y'all. can you tell. can you tell i'm not sentient yet. i have to go to work in like an hour and a half and i am Not ready #anyway. i'm gonna get this guy up in the queue and dustox and then take my meds. see you guys in the dustox post #this must look so weird to y'all. since dustox is gonna be either multiple hours or a whole Day after cascoon #but i queue up two to three pokémon at once every morning to keep a good backlog in the queue in case one morning i miss it #which has happened before. it's saved my ass before. and i'm gonna need to use it at the beginning of july #sneak peek for you guys. i'll be heading out of town on june 30th to go to the other side of the country for work. so i won't be around #any posts you see from june 30th to july 4th are gonna be like super duper queued in advance. and i probably won't be able to answer asks #or anything like that. i dunno if i'll do a formal announcement bc no one will even notice but for you dear reader #who read this deep into my mile-long cascoon tags. you now know that i will be out of town from june 30th to july 4th #use this power wisely….

[vargaslovinghours]

Y’all are being subjected to my Sims 2 tests, so there

The other set of Vargases came over for a visit and Scriabin picked up Shmee and started talking to Scriabin through him. Very normal, very usual

I downloaded some circle-glasses recolours and hghghh they look so good! Closer every day to his final details! Getting ever closer!

Edgar too! I made him a custom hair with a lighter undercut - I’m mostly happy with it, probably could’ve shifted it a shade closer to his skintone but the texturing was weird no matter what :P And his stripey shirt! I wish Body Shop didn’t have that hands-on-hips pose lol, it looks so much better in-game, but that’s all the better :)

I got some new clothes for Todd as well! As soon as I saw this ‘fit I was like “Oh that’s 100% Todd there he is.” Scriadad hug ♥ So cute

Foot-dancing together stopp it’s so cute!!

The way he looks at them stoppp <3 <3 They kept doing this right up til they left for home haha, Todd’s giggles are the cutest

Used SimPE to save him to the Body Shop, I now have infinite copies of The Boyyyy ♪

Moved him in with his “parents” as just shadow people basically, they’re not gonna matter in a bit as long as I remember how to get the Social Worker/Adoption process to work properly. Get her Todd!!

Wanna play? :D

Menacing :(

Look, Todd, your new dads are here! Initially I wasn’t sure who I wanted to adopt him, got lots of options; the first passes, the married couple with their own Todd, Johnny?? He definitely doesn’t have the facilities for a child lol But these are the ones that showed up on their own, so the married Vargases are the winners!

Scriabin cares more about him than his actual parents ;; A stranger off the street shows him more care! Not that it’s a high watermark

Look at him being a good dad!

Weh, he just wants friends ;; Poor baby

Best timeline, thank you

While we wait for CPS, let’s get some other interactions in! Nny is mean so he tended to prank the other two with a nose flick - mostly Edgar lol ♪ Now kiss

“Oh please don’t break all my bones~ :3” I love Todd looking up at them haha <3

Pffft, I think he was talking about the other Scriabin and just how attractive he is. Classic Scriabin. Alternatively, also funny to imagine him bragging himself up about how he’s just so handsome that Edgar can’t help but love him hahaha ♪

Allow me to tickle you with my KNIFE! >:D

Get a load of this guy lol

He ended up passing out at one point - I forgot which motives make CPS show up >.> - and completely 0%’d his comfort, but for some reason stargazing increased it?? It’s the same ground wh

Is two not enough to satisfy your butterfly bloodlust child?? He ended up with three, I had him release them before he was picked up by the Social Worker - success!

He rolled a new Want as soon as Todd was taken away - “Wants to see Ghost of Todd” Woah, dark! :0

And here he is on the married Vargases’ lot!! Success!! I did it right!! Heck yeah! :D Unfortunately they were uh, indisposed at the time. Good job guys pft

Goes right for Shmee, he really is Todd <3

#The Sims 2 #My queue is too backlogged on main! And I /have/ been working on a lot of Vargas-specific Sims 2 retextures so it's fine lol #These are still tests - as said up top lol - so these events are ''non canon'' to what will eventually be my actual Vargas family #The beats will be similar tho! It's mostly just a lot of tweaking at this point to get everything just where I want before the domino falls #Edgar Nny and Todd are all so close to done - Scriabin still needs a bit more work lol of course he's the problem member ♪ #It'll be worth it tho! >:3c Handsome lad <3 #Did find out some interesting things with the Social Worker/Adoption process :0 Most importantly that adoption basically wipes everything #Wipes memories and family relations and changes the last name! So I'll have to go in with SimPE to change his name back once I'm there #I love SimPE haha ♪ I mean it's just an extension of how much I love TS2 but I just ughsjkhagf it's a good program! #It's extremely powerful and easy to get lost in if you don't know where to look but it's also incredibly user-friendly if you do know #Like - it's as easy as ''Open this sub-menu. Click this button. Rename this. You're all done'' it's just jdsflf Sims 2 my beloved <3 <3 #I decided to cheat down the Casils' relationship with Todd before everything else - thus why his father is menacing him for the prank #I've seen Sims with not high enough friendship to not take a water balloon as a fun invitation but not between a parent and child! #It's subtle but the parent being mad and the kid cowering :( It's sadly appropriate for Todd #I stuck the Casils in a box to wait things out and they ended up glitching frozen in bed - they're effectively dead by Motive but can't move #So they can't die /or/ live - feels fitting #If you'd like to recreate CPS taking your child away without straight up torturing them! - Hunger. You just need hunger lol #Alternately you can also have them miss class if you'd prefer to feed them - both will result in being taken away after long enough #If I return to this save it's gonna be confusing since both Todds are identical and have the same names lol #I do have a bunch of new clothes! Second shopping trip :D #There's something oddly fitting for the Vargases to adopt twin/clones lol - fun shenaniganary until the Final Version comes to pass #Although now that I think of it I Could also give them a toddler!Todd hmmmmmm #It's an idea :)

[kellystar321]

.

#periodical life updates #genuinely about to write a whole post explaining wxs ship dynamics because they ALL work well together. i love them <33 #i have a LOT to say about emurui specifically. i know the big ship in this group. i get it! people /love/ the gays. but emurui is so cool #from the small things (rui understands what emu means when she says ''BANG-POP-WOOSH!'') to big things (their parallel arcs in WxS) #just! nene and tsukasa going to be big worldly actors and emu and rui curling in on the memories in the bubble of the wonderstage #how long will it last. how long do they still have together. they don't want to hold their friends back but this was everything to them. #do you THINK ABOUT THEM!! believe me i love every connection in this polycule but i need more people to think about emurui hdkjdh #anyway moving on. i have lgbt club tomorrow and a bunch of deadlines are definitely closing in :/ ive got a lot to do and i DONT WANT TO. #i definitely want to start the queue up again ive got a lot of things in there i want to reblog <33 #i want to start on that eca comic again. waughh theres a lot. there's always a lot. oh well. we'll get through it. #idk what else to update on other than ''im really busy'' ''i'll restart queue'' and ''i think emurui is cool'' so i guess thats it!! #see u ily!!

[layton-heritage-posts]

i was just about to ask if you changed your queue time lol

imagine if this website actually worked. wouldn’t that be wild

One can only dream of such a world...

#long time Followers will know how many problems the queue has caused me throughout my Heritage ventures #only true L.H.P. experts remember shit like the 2 day delays #this Heritage blog has LORE #oh wait actually do you think a *how well do you know L.H.P #quiz would work? #anyways that's the end of my senseless rambling #not a heritage post #ask

[coquelicoq]

i finally wrote an xword that i think might be nyt-submittable...i originally wrote it for the local paper though so i now have to go back through and rework the clues to take out the specific local ones and make some of the others harder. i know exactly which day of the week this would run in the nyt (if it gets accepted) because this type of theme always runs on the same day, so at least i know which clue difficulty to aim for, but i'm still finding it difficult to hit that precise level! i'm used to just making the clues as easy as possible because my local paper's audience is mostly people who aren't xword aficionados. i already reworked this puzzle a couple times based on feedback from friends and family but that was all still when i thought i'd be running it in my local paper. i kinda just want to be done with it but i've never had a theme and fill i thought were completely nyt-worthy before!

#i've been thinking that i would write a puzzle that was intended for the nyt from the beginning #but i never prioritize it because the local paper is actually expecting something from me and i have deadlines with them #so this might be the only way it ever actually happens #i feel kinda bad for the local paper that they don't even get my best work haha but also this theme would probably be too hard #for most of their audience (though let's face it probably all of my puzzles are too hard for various reasons) #aw shoot though i just reread the submission guidelines and they're specifically looking for themes OTHER THAN this type #hmmm #cruciverbs #i also wouldn't mind submitting this in collaboration with a more experienced constructor who could help me with the clues #and i imagine such people are always looking for greenhorn collaborators because it allows them to have >3 submissions #in the queue...but i don't even know how one goes about finding such people #if i submit it and they reject it no harm no foul EXCEPT that i don't know how long it would take them to get back to me #and if this isn't going to run in the nyt then i'd still like to run it in the local paper #but also maybe if they reject it they'll be like 'we don't want this but you seem to have promise so here's the email address of #one of our veteran constructors who would be willing to work with you on other ideas you may have' #i just made that up idk if they would actually do that haha but it seems plausible. and wouldn't it be nice? #i do have another nyt-specific idea that i've been spinning my wheels on for like two years #hmm hmm hmm. i think my best bet is still to rework these clues and submit it and see what happens #worst case scenario is they never get back to me. which is a distinct possibility given what happened with my #american xword puzzle tournament previous year solved puzzles (ie they never got back to me >:( ) #but that was will shortz. this is will shortz plus like 5 other people. he probably doesn't even see new submissions

[erabundus]

good morning, i love ren wanderer scaramouche kunikuzushi balladeer kabukimono hat guy very much.

#𝟎𝟎𝟏 : 𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧-𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘯𝘵 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯. ◟ ooc .◝ #tbd . #( every day i open up tumblr and resist the urge to make a post babbling about how much i adore this little mess of a man ) #( he is simply the character ever for me i don't think i've ever had a muse live in my brain rent free to this extent ) #( nor have i ever had this much fun writing before just SDKDKS number one comfort character (who experiences zero comfort) ) #( it's silly but he makes me very happy. i see gameplay or fanart & get excited all over again like!! wow!! he's so neat!! ) #( & i know i say it a lot but thank you so much for being here!! i've had this blog since november and that's absolutely wild to me. ) #( i've met so many wonderful people and made friends i cherish very much and i hope to continue doing that for a long time. ) #( also!! i'm going out to lunch w/ a friend in a little bit! i have some replies / starters in the queue and i'll do more when i get home )

[deathfavor]

@yeonban said: "i won't leave you. not now, not ever." + "no matter what happens, i will always love you." / Soma to Seiroku :') could be set anytime, really - before he finds out about Seiroku's identity OR afterwards

  It feels like dying all over again. Seiroku stares at Soma in muted silence as a wave of enouement sweeps over him and crashes down with devastating force. He would have loved those words when he was younger, when he hadn’t yet lost his heart to this world. He does love those words even now. But it also feels like shards of glass under his skin, in his lungs, creating tears with every breath. It would be so much easier if Soma hated him. It would be easier if he cursed everything he was, if he wanted to kill him here and now. And Seiroku…He would let him without even lifting a finger to stop or escape.  

   His shoulders slump, yet there’s a knowing look of affection that lurks in deep blue eyes when he stares at Soma with a subtle, pained smile. He needs to speak, but everything feels trapped in his throat. If he speaks, he’s afraid he’ll break and never be able to put himself back together again. His anger will ground him like it has all these other decades, and this version of him, the Seiroku that could have been, will be murdered a second time by his own hands.  Gentle things just weren’t made for this world. He can’t disobey even if he wanted to. He can’t run. He’ll have to kill his own dreams and hopes because that’s all he can do.  

  Seiroku turns his head away, his gaze sweeping over the peaceful Date Castle, lanterns casting a warm glow in the dark night. It isn’t the first time he’s wondered what would have happened if he’d had the chance to be in a clan like this before he became something hungry for blood and death. But, without everything that had happened, he wouldn’t have met Soma. His fingers unconsciously raise to ghost over the cold metal around his throat that ensures his obedience. 

   “ I – “ It’s so strange to hear his own voice wobble and crack. “ I really did want to, you know. “ He smiles even his hands fold across his abdomen, burying into the fabric of the haori. Everything is beautiful tonight, beams of moonlight giving everything an almost fantastical glamour to it.  “ Marry you, help the band. I loved it. “ His head falls slightly, and it’s only then that he realizes he’s crying. Silently, but there is no deny the tears that fall as comets in the night sky, doomed to become meteorites that crash and burn. 

   He wipes at his tears with the sleeves, trying to swallow everything that threatens to escape when he looks towards Soma with a smile despite tearstained cheeks.  “  I had a feeling you’d say that.  “  Deep down, despite the fear, he had suspected Soma would still speak of loving him even if it would be easier on them both if Soma hated him. “ I’m sorry, Soma. “ His breathing stutters, trips over itself as he tries to keep his composure.  “ I got selfish. I really was originally just here to spy on the Date. But…somewhere it began falling apart. I enjoyed it, got attached. To you, to the medical team, to the band as a whole. It was everything I’d ever wanted since I was little. It felt like a dream come to life. “  One that was real, not a delusion of the black kishin. One he could have, if he wasn’t who and what he was. 

   The wind surges, sending his hair lashing in its wake as he gazes at Soma in silence for a few seconds that feel like eternity. Then he steps forward, lifting a hand to gently press against Soma’s cheek. It feels selfish when he stands on his toes to press a chaste kiss to Soma’s lips, lingering close enough he can still feel the warmth of each breath. Selfish to indulge in the last warmth he might get. Selfish, selfish, selfish. As if he hasn’t already been greedy enough – not for material goods, but for Soma’s love, for the warmth he found in the Date band. 

   “ Soma, “ Seiroku starts, barely audible, “ This me will always be yours. Only yours. And I will always love you. “ His thumb soothes over Soma’s cheek before his hand falls to his side and he leans shrinks back onto his feet, leaning away.  “  I’m sorry. If you’re unlucky, you’re going to see a very ugly side of me in the future. The product of hatred. “ He sighs, eyes closed. “ I’m not going to be the one after you. I won’t hurt you or any of the Date. “ He can’t. He can’t bring himself to even consider it. But it’s unlikely he would be chosen to go against them anyways when other members of the Obsidian Eight were better suited to go against the Date. Any of them could go for any band, but it was better to play to strengths regardless. 

   He’s quiet for a moment, staring at Soma and then the sky.  “ But I have one last gift for you. “ He backs away till he’s a few feet away.  “  There’s only one way to kill me. This will only apply specifically to me, a promise I can keep even with this wretched collar. “ Seiroku takes a breath while he lowers the left side of the robes enough to see part of his chest. That’s when he pulls out a small scalpel he’d swiped from the medical tent, and makes a shallow, clean x over where the black crystal resided in his chest. If it hurts, Seiroku gives no indication of it even as red gems form over the mark. It won’t matter – in a few minutes it will be healed. But the purpose will be achieved. Soma remembers everything ; seeing the exact spot means Soma will remember it.  

   “ If it comes down to it, you have to stab me right here. “  Seiroku taps the center of the x.  “ You or if you entrust the task to someone else – that is your call. “ The other dogs will move their crystals thus rendering his information not particularly useful with the caveat of saying it only applies to him but not elaborating why. “ My last gift is my life. I don’t think there’s a way I’ll ever be able to top that. “ He offers a weak laugh, one that’s a little broken, a little despairing. As if there’d be a chance to get him any other gift in the future. 

   His hands fall to his sides, empty as he feels while he hangs his head and watches the grass move in the breeze. It looks so peaceful compared to the chaos in his head and heart.  “ . . . “ He inhales as if to speak but says nothing right away. “ I don’t want it to look like you were fooled or for it to reflect badly on you. “ If Seiroku just slips away, that’d be exactly what it looks like, even moreso when his reveal happens. “ I can stage a scene for when I go for my usual herbs gathering, make it look like an ambush. Then you’ll be free from everything. “  Tomorrow, making this their last night. 

    “ I just…”  He falters for the umpteenth time this evening.  “  I want you to always remember this version of me. Me at my best, because I had you. “ 

#yeonban #you know i had to do this #this hurt me #put on the sad instrumental music while writing it #GOD HES JUST AAAAAA #actually fully crying for the first time in ?? #god knows how long tbh #but sad tears this time not happy #᛭ — [IC] carcinoma being with a taste for death [SEIROKU INUKAWA] #᛭ — [QUEUE] ghosts of the past and of the future

[meatriarch]

im still on my fuckshit but when i think of cc maria ( by extension also nosy maria but specifically noting the isolation aspect of cc );

can you imagine one day skimming the paper. its been a few weeks since all the commotion knowing your friends' had attempted to come find you but then were chased off. never actually heard or saw any of them, but you know they were around.

but you've been moved from the cells to a mattress upstairs. you're given more freedom, more wiggle room, you're allowed to do things - little hobby-type activities - you're given better foods, you're looked after by the older woman at the other house. the man who took you, who terrifies you still to some degree, slowly doesn't feel like such a stranger anymore, you're right to still be cautious around him but as the days, the weeks, pass by, there's simply a different air about him, and in the shack. lighter, in a sense.

you find yourself growing used to the new daily - the new routine. of waking to the sound of him getting ready for the day, of being left alone in there for hours sometimes, others trailing after him like a duckling, around the older womans' property, helping with an array of tasks. and you worry about upsetting her at first, unsure if doing so will earn a knife to the throat. you listen, you do as you're told, you find some kind of way to co-exist - all the while still, in the back of your mind, there's still a ray of hope,

that maybe, maybe, since the rest of them got away - that they're merely licking their wounds, that they'll get word out and even with all the silence since they had been on the property, there's that shred of hope that maybe? someone will waltz in, guns blazing so to speak, and you'll get out of this hell finally.

that is, until that day - that you're skimming through the paper, and you recognize yourself in a little column - and you realize you're staring at your own fucking obituary.

and in that moment everything seems solidified.

you're never getting away.

there's no point in it.

there's no one out there who are still trying to find you, get you back, bring you home, back to your mothers' arms, back to being an older sister, back to the circle of friends you loved so dearly.

you're dead.

not just to the world, but to those you loved - those who claimed to have loved you, too.

what else do you have at that point? where else do you go, even if you still tried to leave? who wouldn't look at you sideways for the blood that's already stained your hands? for the flesh caught between teeth?

who else is there, except the one murmuring encouragement and praise in your ear?

the only constant you've had in all these weeks? whose words rang true - clearly - that no one cared? that they abandoned you? left you there, didn't even care to make sure you were alive or not? only thought of themselves and got the fuck outta there without confirming if you were even still alive.

#[ ♡ ] ── * maria f. / 𝘭𝘰𝘳𝘦. #[ 𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘦𝘦. ] ── * queue. #[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * cold case. #[ 𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘦. ] ── * no one saved you. #for cc maria its just. theres literally no one else. the only constant has been johnny. hes the one who was there with her when the #broadcasts sounded off her searches being called off. the only one who ensured she ate - was clothed - was looked after when she fell ill. #who she could talk to. who in spite of all her escape attempts & all her attempts at trying to kill him kept her around - taught her how to #do things properly - protected her from others that'd be brought down below shack. honestly. her isolation in cc - only having any sort of #connection being with johnny for *months* before he trusted her enough to let her join him for longer periods - like its. complicated. #SO fucking complicated. youre seen as dead to literally everyone else in existence - *except for him*. he who sees you. who hears you. #who talks to you. looks after you. its hard not to find yourself becoming attached/devoted. to the only person who knows you still exist #like i mentioned for nosy its. theres lee there too now so its. a little different. it doesnt hit right away - the almost blind devotion. #but it still happens - over time - with the both of them. the last two people who for a time at least know you were even still living. #and its by the time ch2 rolls in for either cc/nosy its just. its so confusing to her. why they all bother returning then? #for cc its just. you all buried me in an empty box twenty years ago...you all moved on then. you accepted that. so why are you here now. #why are you re-opening wounds that shouldve been long buried - with that empty casket. why suddenly care now? #in nosy she suppresses it w. her bitterness but cc i feel it comes out more like... grief & hurt. all over again. because if you came back #20 yrs after the fact? then why DIDNT you return back then? why *now* and not then? at any point in the last two decades?

[hyaciiintho]

12. Ever tried any out there hair colors?

Mun questions! | ✿

🌸｡*ﾟ+. I did so twice... once in college and then another time... literally just last month pfft~

The first time, I had died my hair a Dark-Bright blue... let me explain !! Indoors, my hair looked black. No one was the wiser that it was blue. But when the sunlight specifically hit it? It turned BLUE. Like. "Oh My God Blue" blue. It was crazy and I actually didn't mean for it to turn out that way, but! I honestly loved it! It was super neat and I enjoyed the double-takes from my friends who were talking to me inside the building, only for us to pass by a window and my hair to change right before their eyes and them go "OH MY GOD YOUR HAIR IS BLUE!!!"

The second time I tried pastel pink. Unfortunately my hair is so heavily red toned that even after multiple sessions of bleaching, purple masks, etc... and as my hair looked super pale and colorless... the pink dye didn't stick and it made my hair look more on the... strawberry blond side? You could tell from the top it was supposed to be pink, but my hair was more on the golden-orangey creamsicle side only to fade to white. It was strange.

Maybe one day I'll go to the salon and get it professionally dyed pink, but that's not a priority right now c': just a fun thought!

#MUN SPEAKING 🌸 ᴬ ʷᵉᵃᵛᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ᵗᵃˡᵉˢ; ��ᵃⁱⁿᵗᵉʳ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗᵃʳˢ #So far honestly I've just been keeping my hair pale (ashy blond basically). It's weird knowing my normal hair is like... jet black... #because I tried making my hair black again and stared in the mirror and went “oh no that doesn't look right” EVEN THOUGH IT'S NATURAL? #It's hilarious how you do your hair one way for so long it becomes the norm c': Thanks for sending this!! #🌸｡*ﾟ+. QUEUE

[damnation-if]

Nice to meet ya, Tan! Is there cannibalism in hell? Can another demon consume the power of another? How about heaven??? Will mc meet an angel? are demons hunted by celestial beings? Thanks!

the preview for this ask saying "nice to meet you is there cannibalism" is probably one of the funniest i've received so far lmfao. i'm going to put this under a cut , partially for spoilers and partially so people can avoid the subject if they'd like.

the answer is not really... not in a human sense (mostly). i get the feeling you might be asking because i've been talking recently about the troubles of getting food in Hell, but actually demons don't Need to eat food, it's just sort of a fun sometime indulgence. i've mentioned it before, but demons operate more like a small pocket black hole of chaos than a mortal being.

they can exchange this chaos energy in various ways, though it's often made difficult by the fact that many demons are so different that their energy patterns are incompatible. this is why concubi are considered valuable to have around, despite their relative lack of power; their ability to help transfer energy between other demons can literally save lives.

eating another demon is not an efficient or surefire way to absorb their energy - in destroying the Vessel, so to speak, a lot of the Contents can escape - with one particularly notable exception, that being the Archdemon of Gluttony... though even with her i'm using the word "eat" loosely.

damned human souls in Hell is a bit of a different question, however. i don't want to get too deep into that here or this post will be thousands of words long as i rant about d&d cosmology that nobody but me even cares about XD suffice it to say that the souls of evil humans will evil human ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

as for angels - yes, there are some fallen angels in Hell right now (fallen angels being what d&d terms "devils", a being of law affiliated with Hell AGAIN DON'T GET ME STARTED ON D&D COSMOLOGY DEVILS SUCK OKAY THEY'RE JUST CELESTIALS DRESSED IN RED CELLOPHANE) who will almost certainly be involved in the story for. Most mcs. there might be some paths you can take that won't involve them... i haven't fully decided yet.

when it comes to the question of if demons are hunted by celestial beings, the answer is more or less no. angels and other celestial beings were created to be used as servants by the gods rather than specifically for war against demons; they sometimes clash against the angels of other gods, and occasionally are used to police humans, but the gods are very afraid of provoking the demons into Actually doing all of the things that the gods have been saying demons do to mortals for millennia (for reasons that will come up later in the story).

also, the gods are petrified of losing more angels to Hell than they already have lol. they try very hard to frame the current crop of fallen angels as "all according to their cosmic plan".

lastly, i won't get into it a whole lot because it's just not particularly relevant, but i will clarify that there's a difference between "heaven" as in The Heavens, the plane where the gods live, and Paradise, which is the plane where good human souls go for their afterlife.

sorry for talking so much, but in my defence, you did ask a lot of questions XD

#what does the chaos mirror see #anon #time flows differently in the queue #cw: cannibalism #vibrating at a frequency that distresses dogs everytime i think about d&d cosmology #and how they seemingly purposefully discard every opportunity to do something really cool with it #it HURTS me how much potential there is that's just being. Ignored skjdbgsdfg #wizards of the coast hire me but not really because i've heard that you are an atrocious employer for queer people #but ALSO would i put up with you just to fix your broken-arse shit???? Perhaps... #don't Really have to tag this as long post cos it's already got a readmore but. you know. for mobile i guess #long post.

[broke-on-books]

AND WE ARE BACK BABY 🥳🎊🎉🥂🎆🎊🎆🥳🎉🎊🎆🥳🎊🎊🎆🎆🎊🎉🥳🎆🥳🥳🥳🎉🎉🥂🥂🎊🥳🎉🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅🪅

If anyone asks me if I regret my decision (being unable to post for 22 hours bc I went ham on a sideblog and hit post limit at 2am yesterday) I'd like to give a resounding HELL NO by the way. It was a terrible experience bc unfortunately I'm horribly addicted to this webbed site HOWEVER. I'd do it again. It's what they [noncanon hetbait comic book couple] deserve. Anyways it is SUCH a relief to be able to post again. I am now so aware of how much I use this site though rip

#''swishy you hit post limit? how could you DO that to your followers'' um well first off youre hilarious to think that i have followers #like on lothscat dot tumblr dot com (sci fi/comics/p much every current non scooby obsession sideblog)??????? BE REAL #that place is a ghost town lets be honest. the only one reading that shit is me #and SECOND. if my 53 followers cannot HANDLE 250 simonjess posts in a row at 2am???? then they dont DESERVE to be there in the first place #like if you cant handle the heat get out of the kitchen you know!!!!! #like if i want to rb the same comic panel 25 times in a row times like 30 panels i should be allowed to do that actually #tumblr stopping me was VERY funny and honestly what i was aiming for but still very rude #anyways if id known that hitting post limit would also carry over here i would have at least said something #but it doesn't matter now because WERE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!@ for however long until i do that again because it was actually hilarious shjsjeej #my queue is so fucking long though #both on my one sideblog and here. mainly the sideblog bc i funneled the remainder of the posting spree into there but also here bc i queued #up the posts that i wanted to rb but couldnt when REALLY i should have scheduled them bc then theyd actually have posted semi promptly #but oh well im too lazy to go and fix it #blah

[zrllosyn-art]

Speaking of RWBY ocs. I am still working on that goddamn RWBY OC fic.

This is updated concepts for Argenti's family and Alycone's weapon.

#if you remember em consider me VERY impressed #like #i posted em like once #anyways #whats the au? dont worry about it (i dont know how to explain it) #(well thats a lie. i dont know how to explain it in a SHORT way) #argenti vetal #argenti (oc) #alycone #alycone (oc) #rwby oc #anyways this story is long as fuck why am i doing this to myself #i have like. 5 in story years worth of events bein planned. why #how do i skip around #what is a time skip #i am bad at write #enn queue (for once)

[holocene-sims]

story posts?? in this economy??

SURPRISE

NO ADVANCE NOTICE

STORY POSTS ARE BACK TONIGHT

#two posts - 8 & 9 PM EST :D #changing up the queue a bit and trying two posts per day because my queue is over 80 posts long lolololol #probably will start doing tzrs again as well #anyway we'll see how that goes!! i've always done one per day but that's slow as fuck #i still don't know how many of you actually care and/or read this aul thing but tada it's back #for those of you who do read and interact <3 <3 <3 *smooches you* thank you for your care AND your patience ily #holocene.txt

[bearseungmin]

idk if anyone feels the same way but I've honestly become a whore for plot-filled fics lately. like super deep into an au, 5k+, might have smut in it or not, makes me wish i was living in this world type shit.

& I'm super over this 1-4k pure smut fics getting 3x the affection, attention, and reblogs as the deep plot fics someone clearly put multiple sittings into writing.

#bearseungmin.txt #I'm high on pain meds rn and kinda pissed off #yes this is a personal opinion but also not every fic needs smut #I'm reaching a breaking point where sometimes i add a smut scene out of sheer fucking fear that the whole fic will flop without smut #because they DO #and it's not just mine either pain #if more of my works don't have long smut scenes or smut scenes at all just know this got to me and I'm >:( #also yes i am reading more and trying to configure a recs list that's more organized and more recs lists with themes #ok I'll shut up #to each their own #i have a bunch of fics drafted rn to queue in a new to read tag and there are some BANGERS i haven't been able to sit down and read yet #another thought: I don't think readers know how damaging it is to witness a smut w no plot do better than a like 10k fic #it's like damn i really spent multiple days crafting this storyline only to lose to a dom chan smut ok fuck #I'm over writing smut drabbles rn and idk if they'll ever come back LMAO #btw when i say lose i mean to yourself as a writer aka when you have a pure smut fic that does better than a full fic #this is in no way a competition between writers

[kellystar321]

here we go again~!

#periodical life updates #(there's no period but its general life update time babey!! btw hindsight this ones very long prepare for an extension if you hit readmore) #im going to draw first because i have good old fashioned loverboy stuck in my head and there's a drawfee episode i can draw to #well im gonna finish my tea and then im gonna draw <3 then i'll probably add things to queue after that #i have to cook eggrolls tonight too #eggrolls are such a hassle because i cant do anything worthwhile while theyre cooking i have to attend to them at moments notice -.- <33 #maybe i'll play the mad rat dead demo again who knows~ #i am not a gamer and i still cant do hard mode <3 i will also never buy the full game because jegus 40 dollars is a lot and ive seen the- #plot already and i would not get it for further gameplay because i would suck at it <33 but i like the demo! i LOVE the music! and i can- #play it while eggrolls cook because stages are short and i can pause whenever <3 also ive been listening to the ost on repeat #there are NO BAD SONGS IN MAD RAT DEAD. NONE. THEY'RE ALL BANGERS THEY'RE ALL GOOD also If We Could Be Friends made me cry <3 #okay thats all the mad rat dead talk we're moving on!! drew a new sticksona you'll see it eventually! my friend DREW ME AND IGNGJHFBJFNHBD! #WAHHH;;; it is so pretty shes so good at coloring and i admire them ALWAYS <3 i drew me and him together <33 #we trade doodles sometimes <33 i hope they know they dont have to draw for me; theyre such a sweetheart and i worry she overworks herself- #he draws for other people and fandoms often and i just hope he takes care of himself <33 people who draw for other people deserve the world #have also been drawing eca things! love how the next part of the caving in arc is turning out <3 finished a different comic; started one- #ive been meaning to draw <3 gotta finish the caving in arc; gotta do the seven-spotted arc and the creators and creation arc <3 #if i have time i want to do the ghost of your former self arc <3 oh eca my little guy i love you so much <33 i have an ecacore and acecore- #tag now! i also want to make other -core tags for my ocs so i might just make a general oc core tag because thats too many <3 #oh speaking of too many tags this is the 20th tag so the rest will be cut off <3 anyway! queued stuff hopefully! ✌️