#Did you lost a kid on the way? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bixels · 14 days

Text

Learning that fans hated Applejack and called her "boring" is crazyyy to me because I genuinely, unironically believe AJ's the most complex character in the main six.

Backstory-wise, she was born into a family of famers/blue collar workers who helped found the town she lives in. She grew up a habitual liar until she had the bad habit traumatized outta her. She lost both her parents and was orphaned at a young age, having to step up as her baby sister's mother figure. She's the only person in the main gang who's experienced this level of loss and grief (A Royal Problem reveals that AJ dreams about memories of being held by her parents as a baby). She moved to Manhattan to live with her wealthy family members, only to realize she'll never fit in or be accepted, even amongst her own family. The earlier seasons imply she and her family had money problems too (In The Ticket Master, AJ wants to go to the gala to earn money to buy new farm equipment and afford hip surgery for her grandma).

Personality-wise, she's a total people-pleaser/steamroller (with an occasional savior complex) who places her self worth on her independence and usefulness for other people, causing her to become a complete workaholic. In Applebuck Season, AJ stops taking care of herself because of her obsessive responsibilities for others and becomes completely dysfunctional. In Apple Family Reunion, AJ has a tearful breakdown because in she thinks she dishonored her family and tarnished her reputation as a potential leader –– an expectation and anxiety that's directly tied to her deceased parents, as shown in the episode's ending scene. In The Last Roundup, AJ abandons her family and friends out of shame because believes she failed them by not earning 1st place in a rodeo competition. She completely spirals emotionally when she isn't able to fulfill her duties toward others. Her need to be the best manifests in intense pride and competitiveness when others challenge her. And when her pride's broken, she cowers and physically hides herself.

Moreover, it's strongly implied that AJ has a deep-seated anger. The comics explore her ranting outbursts more. EQG also obviously has AJ yelling at and insulting Rarity in a jealous fit just to hurt her feelings (with a line that I could write a whole dissection on). And I'm certain I read in a post somewhere that in a Gameloft event, AJ's negative traits are listed as anger.

Subtextually, a lot of these flaws and anxieties can be (retroactively) linked to her parents' death, forcing her to grow up too quickly to become the adult/caregiver of the family (especially after her big brother becomes semiverbal). Notice how throughout the series, she's constantly acting as the "mom friend" of the group (despite everything, she manages to be the most emotionally mature of the bunch). Notice how AJ'll switch to a quieter, calmer tone when her friends are panicking and use soothing prompts and questions to talk them through their emotions/problems; something she'd definitely pick up while raising a child. Same with her stoicism and reluctance at crying or releasing emotions (something Pinkie explicitly points out). She also had a childhood relationship with Rara (which, if you were to give a queer reading, could easy be interpreted as her first 'aha' crush), who eventually left her life. (Interestingly enough, AJ also has an angry outburst with Rara for the same exact reasons as with EQG Rarity; jealous, upset that someone else is using and changing her). It's not hard to imagine an AJ with separation anxiety stemming from her mother and childhood friend/crush leaving. I'm also not above reading into AJ's relationship with her little sister (Y'all ever think about how AB never got to know her parents, even though she shares her father's colors and her mother's curly hair?).

AJ's stubbornness is a symptom of growing up too quickly as well. Who else to play with your baby sister when your brother goes nonverbal (not to discount Big Mac's role in raising AB)? Who else to wake up in the middle of the night to care for your crying baby sister when your grandma needs her rest? When you need to be 100% all the time for your family, you tend to become hard-stuck with a sense of moral superiority. You know what's best because you have to be your best because if you're aren't your best, then everything'll inevitably fall apart and it'll be your fault. And if you don't know what's best –– if you've been wrong the whole time –– that means you haven't been your best, which means you've failed the people who rely on you, which means you can't fulfill your role in the family/society, which makes you worthless . We've seen time and time again how this compulsive need to be right for the sake of others becomes self-destructive (Apple Family Reunion, Sound of Silence, all competitions against RD). We've seen in The Last Roundup how, when no longer at her best, AJ would rather remove herself from her community than confront them because she no longer feels of use to them.

But I guess it is kinda weird that AJ has "masculine" traits and isn't interested in men at all. It's totally justified that an aggressively straight, misogynistic male fandom would characterize her as a "boring background character." /s

At the time of writing this, it's 4:46AM.

#mlp #yeah i wrote this last night during insomnia.#yeah i know an embarrassing amount of crap about this kids show #but whatever it's my hyperfixation i'll store as much useless information as i want!!!#i'm gay and neurodivergent i have an excuse #in case you needed more proof that aj's my favorite character #personal #delete later #unless you like this analysis stuff #i get why they didn't reveal aj's parent's death until way later and why they didn't do much with it but i wish they did #cuz narratively there could've been so much material with aj's grief. like. i feel like we gloss over the fact that she lost her #mother and father as a teenager #i tried keeping my personal hcs out of this to keep it unbiased #but i'll put some in the tags #involving rarijack –– i think aj can be (but not always) very self-conscious about her relationship with rarity #anxieties that she's not the right fit or that rarity will move away and leave her some day or that another woman will take her attention #(like in rollercoaster of friendship?? nudge nudge??). basic seperation anxiety stuff #long post #regarding applebloom whenever i think about her and her parents i think about that scene in steven universe where steven looks up at #a portrait of his mother and openly wonders what kind of sack lunches she would've made for him. that episode still fucks me up

4K notes · View notes

tequiilasunriise · 6 months

Text

When Steph and Cass get married they don’t take the last name Brown (Daddy Issues™️) or Cain (Daddy Issues Prime™️) or even Wayne (Steph absolutely REFUSES to become a Wayne nosirree), but a secret fourth thing (Gordan).

#BARBRA GORDON IS CASS’ MAMA AND TO AN EXTEND STEPH’S TOO OKAY #yes Steph still has Crystal but yall can NOT tell me she didnt lowkey look up to Babs as a secondary mom figure #the only one who is in on the jig is Kate bc shes officating the whole thing bc DUH and the way she fucken WHEEZZEEDDD when Steph explained #the way Kate would stand at the podium and anounce with such a smug grin #looking DIRECTLY at Bruce #‘I pronounce you…. MRS STEPHANIE AND MRS CASSANDRA GORDAN!’#the sheer fucken UPROARRRR #Steph LAUNCHES herself into Cass’ arms and kisses her senselessly as her now wife effortlessly carries her in a bridal carry #babs takes a second to process before instantly losing her NIND bc oh these crazy kids did NOT no no shes not crying #(she is. she so is. her date Dinah is handing her a hankerchief)#the batbros minus dami are hollering and cheering bc YEAHHHH STICK TO THE MANNNN #dami himself is dismissive and muttering about how could anyone throw away the wayne name like this #(on the inside he actually thinks this is pretty funny and must admit Barbra’s last name is a worthy rival to the Wayne name)#Bruce. Bruce is stunned. shell shocked. this girldad just lost his fav kid his princess #Jim is just having a damn good time bro is clapping Bruce on the back and having a good laugh over it all #also does this mean he has two honorary grandkids? no? well suck it bruce theyre my grandkids now #the other gothmanites who were invited like the birds of pret or the gotham city sirens are also all clowning on Brucie Boy #dc #stephcass #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #batfam

186 notes · View notes

what-are-even-humans · 8 months

Text

Anyone got any recs for actual play dnd (or other ttrpg) podcast thats actually intended to be audio based and not "Visual but we turned the audio into a podcast"??

#ive got over an hour commute EACH WAY 5 days a week now and theres only so many educational podcasts you can listen to before realising that #youve essentially extended your workday another 2-3 hours each day. oh and i also have trainings which are another 40 minute commute IN THE #OPPOSITE DIRECTION #:'(#but yeah i digress. i need podcasts where i get to turn my mind off #ive been through taz and ive tried cr and dimention20 but its too visually based and i feel like im missing out or have to focus way toomuch #also did listen to dungeons and daddies but parents loosing their kids is a trigger for me so yeah...#so preferably tips where child endangerment / looking for lost kids / losing parents isnt a big plot point #not space

134 notes · View notes

flareboi · 2 months

Text

what if purple never calls him dad

#what if the word ‘dad’ is something purple doesn’t like.#what if it carries a bad connotation for them and a bitter reminder for mango.#family doesnt always have to look like one thing yknow? i dont think those two would have a traditional dynamic in that way #maybe purple does consider him their parent. they just dont call him ‘dad’ unless its in third person #and theyre fine with that and so is he #king is his father figure yes but he’s also a mom. a big brother. a sister. their dynamic just isnt captured in purple calling him ‘dad’#maybe his name is the best way they can say it. the best way they can appreciate him #because for purple a father is someone who hurts you. someone who leaves you #i think ‘purple calls him dad on accident’ is a cute idea #but honestly it would make more sense if they called him mom on accident instead. or if it happened when they were afraid. not comfortable #(this is presuming orchid is his mother and navy his father based on the pronouns used in the react vids iirc)#because why would purple refer to someone he sees as a parent with the title of the one that presumably did not raise them?#and on mangos end #i think u can kinda tell who in this fandom has never lost a loved one in how they characterize him #guys. grief doesnt leave. it never leaves.#you just learn to live with it!!!#mango is not okay just because he has a new kid to take care of. i would know this my bio mom passed and i have a stepmother!!!#she does not fill that void and i do not expect her to because it cannot be filled. but she brings a lot new to ease the pain and is a #wonderful part of my life #the same thing here #mango will never ever just .. go back to how he was #he will never be the same since gold died. and thats okay #purple will not change that. they will merely add something new #their dynamic can be beautiful and nontraditional and a showing of how grief can change you #it doesnt have to be ‘replacement dad and replacement son’#its so much more #oke. tag rant over #fett rambles #ava #uhh should i tag the chars

44 notes · View notes

des-fangirl · 9 months

Text

lost kids, sleeping <3 do not interrupt

i wanted to draw little holly sleeping in the woods but i was like 'heey they look like they're sleeping ON something...' AND UM. I GOT. CARRIED AWAY??

for now my idea is that holly got lost in the gardens and met a Shadow that were lost too. HONESTLY IDK WHAT THEY WERE DOING NEXT UUUUHH. TRAVELLING?? AHBEBE it's hard to make a story with Holly since they were,, busy because of the 'saving the kingdom' thing.. I don't think they'll even be able to get lost, especially in Queen's Gardens😭😭

but umm i like the colors i like the vibe and maybe I'll just draw more sketches with them just walking around getting into situations and becoming besties. WHY NOT

#i actually lost the first art yesterday #like. completely :(#i finished it SAVED IT (i was sure i did) and closed Photoshop because there was some kind of error #and then i realised I didn't actually save it. at all.#LIKE I WAS DRAWING FOR AN HOUR OR MORE AND FORGOT TO SAVE #IDK HOW IT IS POSSIBLE REALLY I WAS SURE I DID CTRL+S :((#that's why yesterday's evening was awful BUT IN THE END I MANAGED TO REMAKE THE ART #it's even better now!! <3 #i hope you like it #wanted to do the details on leafs because of the seals in hk #the lines on the seals!! i wanted to get leafs around kids to look like some kind of a seal #they are sleeping together because they are safe #surrounded from all sides but in a good comforting way #they are almost hugged #hollow knight #desfan-art #hk fanart #hk pure vessel #hk hollow

54 notes · View notes

edoro · 2 years

Text

it’s so funny when i see people talking about Hunter’s like, latent genetic big brother instincts he inherited from Caleb, and how he must be sooo good at nurturing and caring for younger kids because of Caleb

and meanwhile we literally see how The Kid Caleb Cared For turned out, and he’s an extremely emotionally unstable abusive genocidal monster who never got over his codependent obsession with Caleb and has spent the last 300 years using forbidden necromancy to try and play Happy Families with a series of disposable Caleb-clones

like i think Caleb did the best that a kid in that position could possibly be expected to do when responsible for raising a younger sibling with no help or support that way and i don’t blame Caleb for wanting to get the fuck away from Gravesfield asap at all or think that like, any mistakes Caleb might have made raising Philip mean that Philip’s actions as an adult aren’t his own responsibility

but like... you don’t... act that way if you have a stable, functional, safe upbringing. lmao.

#like i'm sorry it's just so.#caleb was not a good parent. caleb was a desperate lost kid barely scraping by #and he and philip both suffered for it #philip is Fucked Up in a way that's very much 'oh my god SO much childhood trauma'#caleb was in a no-win situation and did his best and i don't think he was intentionally abusive or hurt philip on purpose #or MEANT to create or foster an unhealthy dynamic between them #but i also don't think that philip just like. 'went crazy' one day out of the blue for absolutely no reason.#i think he was reacting to you know. his upbringing and environment and the relationship he and caleb created between each other.#and anyway somehow hunter genuinely probably is the most mentally healthy wittebane #but oh boy does he not get it from -caleb- of all people #caleb wittebane #philip wittebane #the owl house

256 notes · View notes

ladyalicentshightower · 2 months

Text

I think people overestimate how feminist team black is. If someone brings up how Baela should be the heir to Driftmark, it's always "she would've been Queen if not for the Greens!", ignoring that 1, she would be Queen consort, not a Queen in her own right, and 2 she has a legitimate claim in her own right to Driftmark. Team Black's goal is to crown Rhaenyra, but Rhaenyra becoming Queen isn't a win for feminism because it does nothing to dismantle the rest of the patriarchal system that exists in Westeros. From what we've gotten so far, it reads that Rhaenyra wants to be the exception and not the rule. Rhaenyra has made a lot of bad political decisions, which means she can't acknowledge Baela's claim because it would weaken her own claim (blatantly admitting her eldest sons are illegitimate would not end well for her to say the least). So she betrothes Jace and Luke to Baela and Rhaena to kind of atone for that, like as a consolation prize Baela will be Queen and Rhaena will be lady of Driftmark, neither of them would hold either title in their own right. It's good matches because the kids like each other and will treat each other well, but it's not a feminist win or a feministic liberation. It's usurpation, usurpation that takes place because Rhaenyra has to do damage control after having illegitimate children and after a serious of bad political decisions (both hers and her fathers, Viserys is the arbiter of this entire mess). To me, Rhaenyra is very reminiscent of Mary Queen of Scots, I can see a lot of elements drawn from Mary's history in Rhaenyra's story and character, down to their sons eventually taking the crown they failed to claim/keep.

#hotd #hotd spoilers #house of the dragon #house of the dragon spoilers #Rhaenyra targaryen critical #I'm going to do a rewatch prior to season 2 & I'm going to analyse the bad political decisions from vis & Rhaenyra that lead to the dance #like by no means the only factors at play lets not forget otto daemon larys etc #but it's an interesting factor that the fandom doesn't really acknowledge #and a lot of Rhaenyra's bad political decisions are understandable because of her youth and because viserys does fuck all to prepare her #like even if she wasn't who he choose as heir she should've been given a better political education as a princess #but vis fails his most of his other four kids in that regard to #i mean he also fails to acknowledge them or remember them but anyways #he is a huge part of the reason aegon and aemond became he they did #props to whoever probably alicent for sending daeron to oldtown so he could grow up well adjusted #alicent: i'm writing a letter to daeron is there anything you would like to say to him?#viserys: daemon? why are you writing to daemon?#alicent: daeron?#viserys: who?#alicent: our son? the one you sent to squire in oldtown?#viserys: i think i'd remember if we had a son who's name was one letter different to my brothers #viserys: in fact i do alicent do you mean the one who lost an eye?#alicent: *screaming internally*#viserys targaryen #king viserys #rhaenyra is such an interesting character but i hate how the fandom sanctified her because how dare characters be complex and have flaws #like you dont have to justify their actions or bend over backwards to deny their faults to like a character you know 😭#and the same thing is done to daemon who is far more fucked up and far more flawed in the show than the fandom allows #i hate the team stuff tho i get hbo going for it as a marketing move that was genius but my god are certain stans insufferable #the entire point of the dance is that its a pointless tragedy there's no good or bad side theyre both awful in their own ways #but thats a longer rant for another time outside of the tags

17 notes · View notes

needylittlegirl · 14 days

Text

sometimes ill be doing some normal everyday task and ill stop and realizing that im doing it pissed as hell cause i started thinking about yolanda saldivar

#brushing my teeth like 😡😡😡😡#selena quintanilla queen of tejano and queen of little mexican american girls that cant speak spanish (me)#when i was like 7 years old i was having a TOUUGHH time at school #cause kids were saying like oh your mom looks weird she doesnt look like our moms!#and my dads white and im very white like visually #so i was getting a lot of people asking like What Are You are you adopted etc etc #and then on the flipside all of my cousins speak spanish but i dont #cause im the youngest and by the time i was born all the spanish speakers in my fam had learned english #so it was very like whatever way i turned i wasnt fitting in #so my mom sat me down and made me watch selena and i criiies and cried #like no i dont look like her but we’re both 3rd gen girls who were a little lost with their cultures and stuff #also dont tell my mom any of this she says im white passing to white ppl but mexicans always Know #which is true ive had mexican people ask if im mixed or wtf is up #its gotta be my nose like 100000%#i think my nose and body type and hair are the noticeable features #i was also raised super culturally by my moms side of the family #also i think its funny that spanish speaking people dont assume i speak it so theyll be talkin shit or something and ill know #i understand it but i dont speak it #but im getting better!! i think i probably can speak it im just not at all confident #i had to drop highschool spanish cause my teacher thought i was cheating #and she did not care when i was like girl i promise i only know this cause of my abuela pls believe me #sorry im rambling i have no clue where this is coming from #but when my grandparents moved here it was like #like 50s racism running rampant #so my grandpa tried to ditch EVERYTHING and like oretend he was italian cause that was more acceptable and all that #so he got rid of every tradition and tried to smash it down as much as he could #so of course that rubbed off on my mom #but my grandpas sisters never tried to hide it #so me and my mom have really bonded over like relearning our culture and i get to go to his sisters to teach me and its just really nice #yeah ok bye

7 notes · View notes

reanimatedgh0ul · 19 days

Text

listen ik lance would NOT be the type of guy™ to watch a disney movie but ik for a fact that if someone showed him treasure planet (2002) he would relate to jim hawkins sm that he would basically turn into this lol

#ok now that i think abt it that person would be ilana if i'm being honest #i think lance would point out the fact that it's a kids movie and that they're not kids so why did she pick that out 🤨#which ilana's like well i picked it bc based on what i read abt it it sounded like the things we have back home (galaluna)#and lance is just like ok fine w/e 🙄#i feel like octus would sit down and watch it w her #ik ilana and octus would know how to make their own popcorn too #i def think the 3 of them have movie nights sometimes #octus would be like where's lance isn't it movie night she's like yeah well he said the movie #i picked was for 'little kids' so he passed on it w/e it's his loss #then i imagine lance comes down at some point to get like idk a glass of water or smth from the kitchen #then lance is just like so how's movie you guys are watching (but def says it in like a sarcastic type of way)#and ilana like oh man it's just getting good so turns out jim (he's the main character) came into possession of a device that's actually #a secret map to planet that's believed to filled w treasure and now him and his other guy (his name is dr delbert)#are going on an expedition to find it :D #lance is like wait rlly :0 (internally thinking wait this movie actually sounds kinda cool what)#lance sits down on the couch and ilana's like wait min i thought you said you didn't wanna watch this movie #and lance is like what no i'm just sitting down for couple mins #i'm totally gonna leave here in a bit ok (ilana's just like sure *doubt it*) and yeah ofc lance doesn't actually leave #watches the rest of the movie w them he just didn't wanna admit it #on that note i also totally think they'd check out atlantis: the lost empire (2001) afterwards #sym bionic titan #robi hcs #robi rambles

8 notes · View notes

voids-voyager · 4 months

Text

Slapped in the fucking face by the concept of Dr. Kogami starting the Hanoi Project and subsequently creating the Ignis to cure Ryoken of an illness.

Like imagine. His wife is gone, his only remaining family left is his son. He'd promised on his wife's deathbed he'd protect their son in her place too and make sure he grows up happy.

Then Ryoken's health starts declining. And the symptoms are hauntingly familiar.

Turns out what took his wife is about to take their son too, the child she loved more than anything. If she were still alive, it would devastate her.

And Kogami, on the verge of despair and about to lose everything, decides no. Not again. Not their child, still so young. He will do anything, so long as it saves Ryoken's life. Even the unspeakable.

He didn't account for Ryoken hearing the children's cries.

And the guilt Ryoken carries now. The Lost Incident happened because of him. All those kids were abducted and tortured because of him. Then his father was taken away only to return home three years later in a coma. Becase of him.

And now his dad, his only family, is asking him to use the life given to him to right the mistake Kogami made.

And what else can he do but fulfill that request no matter what when this is all his fault to begin with.

Sidenotes:

While his life is no longer at risk, Ryoken still feels the effects of his illness. His immune system is garbage, achy muscles, gets short of breath easily, dizzy spells. But while this matters little in Link Vrains, Ryoken would still rather be outside in the real world.

Spectre helped take care of Ryoken after the latter took him in, still in the middle of recovering. He's now hyper aware of Ryoken's health as a result.

Ryoken met Yusaku when he snuck out of the house. He was allowed out very rarely for fear he'll get worse, and even then never by himself, but the adults are rarely free to go with him, so he sometimes sneaked out. After he almost collapses outside, Yusaku walks him home. Ryoken stopped sneaking out after that.

On the more positive side Ryoken definitely knows the importance of treasuring life after thinking he was going to die as a child and at some point getting so ill he struggled leaving bed.

#yugioh vrains #ygo vrains #ryoken kogami #revolver #kogami ryoken #when you become so focused on curing your sick son you throw away your morals #and in your attempt to right your percieved grave consequences of this you forget why you did this in the first place #for the kid you've now traumatised and is guilt tripping to clean up your damn mess #accidentally making dr kogami a complex character when i only bother with him because he's essential to ryoken #but man this is kinda slamming is it bad if i say it myself #packing so much guilt and angst into ryoken here its insane #someone grab this version of ryoken by the shoulders and tell him #“JUST BECAUSE YOUR DAD DECIDED TO FIND A CURE FOR YOUR ILLNESS IN THE WORST POSSIBLE WAY DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR IT”#“YOU WERE A CHILD AND YOUR ILLNESS IS NOT YOUR FAULT"#pushing hard on the 'ryoken is a victim of the lost incident'

12 notes · View notes

yashley · 1 year

Photo

“I’m really sorry.” “So am I.”

#critical role #imogen x fearne #imogearne #long post #ygifs #but they were literally insane for this are you kidding me #you have Laura Lauraing up a Laura with that imogen emotion work she's pulling and then you have Ashley Ashleying up an Ashley At Her WHAT #like I JUST WANT THEM TO TALK ABOUT IT I JUST WANT AN ACTUAL TALK SHOW TO TALK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#WHATS GOING ON THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#YOU LITERALLY have Imogen People-Pleaser-Or-Death actually saying So Am I and Actually Acknowledging In EVEN That Small Way #And it's like fearne is Actually So Heartbroken she's Stunned And Yet All She Can Think To Do Is Look At Imogen and Say She’s So Sorry #FEARNE???? we literally did not see THAT magnitude of emotional vulnerability with fearne since she Met Her Lost Mom Ok #and she’s There At The Mercy Of Her Emotions. because of imogen. because of how much she Empathizes with Imogen #and Imogen Wonderful Wonderful Imogen Literally Cannot Look At Fearne More ThanA Second After What She Did*#girls y'all are just insane for this this was The Moment that made me Break Down And Uproot my Not Making Gifs Thing after EIGHT YEARS it's #I know this campaign is so fast paced and plot driven but like it's been nearly 10 episodes and they've not Talked About This Okay #also obsessed with the stilted way imogen thanks fcg for bringing fearne back like it is SOO detached I'm chewing it #she literally spoke as if she wasn't there when you could see imogen relating to fearne by touching her shoulder and saying brought Her back #they literally already Went Through Much with fearne's parents reveal and the way imogen Allowed herself to Be Present in That Situation #no but literally I Think About Fearne Combating How She Regrets Orym Being Brought Back like Thats the gravity of it #imogen says Thank You Fearne and fearne just stands there nearly wanting nothing more than for the reality imogen Meant It

81 notes · View notes

polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup · 6 months

Note

the higher-ups (and Yaga) immediately trying to leverage Gojo & Ieri's absence to put Yuuta on the roster??? God that's such a stark moment. Thank god Nanami and Gojo saw through that one immediately, because Yuuta wants to justify his own survival so badly he would've fallen straight into it.

That whole scene, with Yuuta immediately jumping on the opportunity to help people even though something is Extremely Wrong with him and he's on the brink of physical collapse--this boy is selfless to the point of self destruction and I am chewing the drywall about it. I love him so much.

If only he was able to summon his newly found homicidal rage in defense of himself, the higher-ups would no longer be a problem. Alas, this boy is Extremely Unwell.

(Sea Glass Gardens is absolutely incredible and i am obsessed with it in a way that is totally and 100% normal. I'm so normal about it, trust me <3 )

The thing about Yuuta is that he really is prime to be taken advantage of right now and the higher ups know it. They had him try to kill himself for them--they know that there's a window of opportunity that they can use to get him under their thumb and avoid The Problem of Gojo, which is, namely, having a human weapon who you cannot fully control. Gojo nailed it from the beginning: they want a magic gatling gun with no personality or free will. They learned their lesson with Gojo and are trying to rob Yuuta of his agency before he learns how to protect himself.

And Yaga's part in that scene really was meant to kind of emphasize how, even with the best intention's, he just doesn't work to protect the kids. Like. everything he said was technically true, and he meant it with the best of intentions. He's the guy who has to think of everyone's needs. he has to manage this crisis. he's got a lot of people hurt badly who just came out of a war, and a lot of people going into fights with some very aggravated curses spawning without sufficient manpower to address the danger and no healer to save them if they cut it a little too close. He didn't have the intention of manipulating or sacrificing Yuuta, but he was aware that it would come to his detriment and risk.

The issue is the higher ups. They don't give a shit about the people in their workforce. They should be the ones doing whatever it takes to solve this crisis and save their people--and if that means giving up on their machinations? They should have already done it. It's their responsibility.

They just don't care. They want Okkotsu Yuuta under their thumb, and their society hemorrhaging is treated like an opportunity, not a dire problem to be solved. They don't care if half a dozen of their own people need to die to do it. Hell, it's better if they do die--they can put it straight on Okkotsu for not being willing to sacrifice himself, when they should have been making whatever promises they had to in order to make this work.

Gojo's done this before, is the thing. He was Yuuta, a long time ago. Nanami was right there watching it happen. They both know what the higher ups do: They let society get to a crisis level and put all the responsibility on you to save it. they let you maneuver yourself into a vulnerable position as a result, and then they use it as leverage to put their goddamn boot on your neck.

The thing is that Gojo adopting megumi all those years ago really did put them into a crisis state. the zenin pitched the mother of all bitch fits trying to secure his unconditional return, and they were a huge percentage of jujutsu society's labor force and resource pools. instead of the higher ups managing the problem at all, they took advantage of the situation and shoved more and more of its weight and responsibility onto gojo, until he was dropping off his own kid at his abusers' compound thinking it was the only compromise that could resolve things. megumi paid the price for gojo not calling bullshit, and right now, with him in a hospital bed? gojo's less willing to repeat mistakes than ever.

he knows that they're going to use the safety and suffering of everyone else as the leverage against him, and he knows that as terrible as it is, he cannot blink first. He's played this game before, and he knows that the only way to get the higher ups to back off on something like this is to dig in your heels.

I think what happened to Megumi all those years ago and how bad it got before they put a stop to it is something that haunts all three of them. When they first started raising him, they were very young, and they were very broken, and they loved him very, very much. He was their little boy, and he was never the same after the Zenin. They were supposed to protect him, and they didn't, and not a single one of them has forgiven themselves for that.

Megumi was sort of sacrificed for the greater good when he was a kid. None of them thought that that was what they were doing when it happened, but that's what happened. His happiness, safety, and wellbeing were sacrificed to pacify the Zenin and make it easier on everyone else.

Megumi and Tsumiki had to become their non-negotiables after. They had to become the things they refused to compromise on. The Zenin would take miles and miles if you gave them a millimeter, let alone an inch.

Gojo didn't think he was compromising them when he left them on their own to deal with Geto's war. They were disgustingly self-sufficient kids. They had been alone for longer stretches of time when they were practically toddlers--they should have been fine on their own for a couple of weeks.

But they were still his kids, and he still left them alone for everyone else's sake, and now his kid is blind and half dead in a hospital bed. It's like being punched in the face by old mistakes.

So they're off the roster completely, all of them. And they're not compromising an inch on what their focus is, and they're not letting anything happen to any of the other kids in their care.

It's terrible that their coworkers are suffering, but it wouldn't be happening if the Zenin hadn't fucked with Gojo Satoru's kid, of all the goddamn people. It wouldn't be happening if the higher ups would actually do their job and start managing shit.

And if they use Yuuta as an anxiety riddled bandaid on the bullet hole in their society? Then they'd be sacrificing him the way they sacrificed Megumi all those years ago. And they have never been less willing to do that.

I'm so so glad you like the story! Thank you for talking with me!

#i think gojo has such a big emphasis on giving kids the tools to protect themselves because no one ever did that for him or geto #geto snapped under the pressure and was lost to gojo forever #Gojo repeatedly focuses on giving the kids the tools to enjoy their childhood without being hurt #like with yuuji--he doesn't want him to sacrifice his youth and happiness with the others #so he focuses on giving him the strength to protect himself when gojo isn't there #in my mind that's also why gojo was always trying to feed yuuji the fingers #like when i first started the series it seemed kind of weird to me because gojo very obviously didn't want yuuji dead #until i realized that yuuji canonically had a good chance at suppressing sukuna even at 20 fingers as long as he had them spaced out #if yuuji had sukunas power level and had gotten it in increments eventually the higher ups couldnt touch him and hed still be under control #honestly none of the adults are doing well right now #a little under a decade ago the issue with the zenin came to a head and megumi ended up being very small and very hurt in a hospital bed #and they promised him that it would never happen again #now he looks very small and very hurt and he's in a hospital bed and the zenin put him there #as much as he's an angry teenager who hates displays affection he really is their little boy and they adore him #nanami was the one who took him from the zenin the final time all those years ago and he personally promised megumi that he would never eve #go back to that place. he feels like a complete failure right now.#gojo always blamed himself for not digging in his heels and refusing the custody compromise and now he's FURIOUS that this happened under #his nose a second time. i think gojos really interesting in the hero role because he's canonically low empathy and struggles with homicidal #impulses and let me tell you he thought about just killing all the zenin back then and he's REALLY thinking about it right now. there's one #fucking way of making sure this never happens again.#shoko generally feels like shit because this is supposed to be the one thing she can do to help and she /can't/ do it right now to help #megumi. also she privately thinks she had the most opportunity to realize how bad it was with the zenin back then and /didn't/.#she was going through a lot of her own issues back then and the zenin had some kind of believable excuses for why megumi was always banged #up. like. he was already getting into fights at school. its not like the zenin had issues procreating. they said he was picking fights #with other kids and that's where he got hurt. they actually blamed maki more than once. and some bruises here and there is expected for a #kid in combat training even at what was meant to be a very preliminary level. he was supposed to be in like. kiddie karate classes and they #didn't realize the zenin were training him like a fucking marine. it was SO obvious in hindsight and that tortures them.#protecting yuuta right now kind of feels like a chance to get it right the first time and all of them need that now that they feel like the #fucked it up with megumi a second time #sea glass gardens

18 notes · View notes