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call-me-strega · 7 months

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How to Become a Step-Dad: Lore

Edited: 10/16/2023

While I am currently in between writing chapters I thought I’d release a little bit of the lore that will be incorporated in the story or that I think is canon but might not get mentioned since the story is mostly Jason’s perspective.

What’s up with Jason?

So in this au Jason went through basically all his canon backstory and stuff already so that’s established and done with. Some smaller points that may or may not come up are things like his possession of the all-blades, his time on Nanda Parbat, Talia essentially adopting him, or his experience being Catatonic. Speaking of which, I have decided his resurrection came from his righteous anger combining with the ectoplasm in Gotham’s atmosphere, and he is essentially a revenant for the purposes of this story (he’s about a fourth ghost? Or maybe 3/4ths? 3/5ths? Idk yet).

He does already have a reputation in the Infinite Realms as “The Avenger” and “Son/Knight of Gotham” due both to the existence of city spirit Lady Gotham and the ghosts of people who’ve died in Gotham. He actually has a rabid fan club who want him to kill the Joker( if he became a ghost he’d be tried and banished to the nightmare realm).

I am also going to use “the pits are corrupted ectoplasm” trope in the story. However, they’re gonna be corrupted less in the sense of being straight-up poison and more in the sense of eating a weird mushroom with weird side effects (rage, slightly sentient/vocal core, white trauma streak)

As for his relationship with the Bat Family, we’ve moved to a point where everyone’s more or less made up. For Jason and Bruce specifically, they are now more civil. Their relationship is less “ What you’re doing is wrong and you have to stop.” vs “ I’m just doing what you won’t” and now it’s more “ I don’t fully approve of your decisions, but as long as you’re not killing people and coming home for dinner, I don’t care enough to nag you about it” vs “ You’re my dad and I love you. Plus actively killing people is no longer super necessary so I will give in but I still enjoy pissing you off”.

In terms of sibling relationships, Jason has like the cool older brother vibe but he’s actually the semi-responsible one that feeds you when you come over and makes you do homework and sleep properly. He’s still down for shenanigans but is low-key a mom friend. (Dick is not the “responsible one” he is a certified chaos gremlin. Not to say he can’t be responsible, he’s just not the one enforcing these things. He cares more about your social, emotional, and/or, mental state and would help you skip school to steal a penguin or go to ComiCon or smth if you said it was a “mental health day”). I think he has semi-regular hangouts with his siblings on a weekly basis.

I like to think that he and Damien did have a bit of interaction when they were both with the League so they do have a close bond there. He’s definitely apologized to Tim a bunch of times and they’re pretty close now they like scheming together, especially on how to annoy Bruce. Overall he’s largely made up and re-integrated with the family. It’s going to be mentioned later in the story that they resurrected his civilian identity as Jason Todd, so he can publicly be seen with his family and also to do work with the family.

This brings me to my next point of lore: that as Jason gains more control of Crime Alley, he focuses his efforts more into charity work. He’s helping the people get their education, get better access to healthcare, get better job opportunities, running soup kitchens, etc., and doing more humanitarian-focused work. He has got a pretty firm grip on crime and drugs so he’s shifting his focus more towards helping the people now. Even just being part of his gang can be helpful because he works with the Goonion (Goon Union) and offers good insurance plans and stuff. That’s part of the reason they resurrect his civilian identity is so that he can start working with/taking over the Wayne foundation.

What’s up with Danny and Ellie?

Okay so first things first in the story Danny is going to be the ghost prince (not king yet for a long while) and he acts as a junior member on the Council of Ancients who rule with Clockwork acting as his main regent. Meaning that Council + Danny make decisions and Clockwork is Danny’s ghost dad and is formal regent but mostly just handles things with help from the council. Essentially, after at least a couple thousand years Danny will be considered “of age” or eligible and take over the Infinite Realms; and after several billion he’ll become the ancient of space/reality and essentially become a god or primordial being of sorts. Also being of age is different than being an adult ghost. To be an adult ghost you need to have been a ghost for at least 20 years after your lifetime, unless you’re an eternal kid ghost like Youngblood or BoxLunch. So ghosts like Technus, the Box Ghost, and Lunch Lady are all adult ghosts. Whereas ghosts like Johnny 13, Kitty and maybe Ember either aren’t yet adult ghosts or became adult ghosts recently. Ellie ranks as princess and second-in-line, she’ll go through a similar process and eventually join the Council, become a diplomat, and/or rule as regent if/when Danny leaves the Ghost Zone. I’m gonna say all other afterlife’s and stuff are connected to the Zone and their respective leaders make up Phantom’s Court. (So basically he’s king and they are like the nobles). They all govern their own territories and Phantom handles any rouges or conflicts. When Ellie gets older she’ll move between realms on diplomatic missions to lighten some of Danny’s work. I haven’t decided what this means for anyone who is currently mortal and/or liminal. I might just have them live, fulfilling lives and pass away and move on to different afterlives. Or I might have them take places within the Phantom’s court or as advisors. And on the topic: Jazz, the Fenton parents, Sam, and Tucker are all fairly liminal, Jazz and the Dr.s Fenton a bit more than the other two. Everyone in Amity has a little bit of liminality, but not enough to affect their life spans or anything. Also, Vlad is still currently his usual, creepy, Frootloopy-self. But after screwing him over in this fic eventually, I want to have him arrested by the ghost police and spend several thousand years in ghost prison before he gets let out. Then he works on improving his relationships and post-redemption he’s going to be like that annoying, overbearing Uncle who tries to be cool and annoys you but ya don’t hate him. Another thing I wanted to go over is their obsessions. I wanna say the halfas all have dual obsessions bc it fits nicely with the half-and-half concept. Danny is protection and space. Ellie is freedom and family. Vlad is power and love. If I include Dark Danny he’ll be power and destruction and a reformed version would have control and safety.

As for his rouge gallery? Danny is able to help them find healthier outlets for their obsessions so they've become less of an issue. Now they kind of just act like Danny's annoying friends and/or extended family. The ones who were straight-up evil though are on indefinite time out in ghost prison though (e.g. Spectra and Freakshow). The gang still comes to visit him and Ellie from time to time though and he regularly sees them when he goes back to the realms for prince duties and stuff.

What’s up with Amity?

So after he turns 18, Danny decides to tell his parents about being Phantom. He’s legally an adult now and has been working toward getting emancipated anyways so he might as well. They took it like how I imagine slightly homophobic parents would react to learning their child was lgbt (side note: the Fentons are pro-lgbt. When Danny told them he was bi Jack said “Me too son!”, happy to have something to bond over). He tells them about the portal and becoming Phantom. They believe him and they are devastated and guilty.

In the next few weeks, they get into a couple arguments over them wanting to “fix” his ghost half. He blows up and tells them that by doing that they’d end up killing him and that Phantom is a part of who he is and they’ll just have to accept that. That night Danny leaves and with help from Sam stays in an apartment with Jazz near her college. He takes a two-year gap to get a handle of Infinite Realms and GIW stuff, plus doing a few small jobs to save up some money. Within that time the GIW gets taken down and the Fentons reach out bc their love for their children is stronger than their dislike of ghosts. Their relationship is still strained but getting better.

Dani also gets de-aged during that time and Danny decides to take care of her (partly for healing purposes and partly cause he wants to). His friends help forge documentation for her and he fights with Vlad over custody but ultimately wins and makes him pay child support. He’s saved up enough money and with a little help from Sam and Vlad gets an apartment in Gotham. He got a scholarship and is doing mostly online classes at Gotham University. He’s currently working part-time (I have not decided as what but I’m leaning toward mechanic). Vlad paid to have him enroll Ellie in Gotham Academy so she wouldn’t have to go to public school and Danny allowed it since it’d get her a better education. Ellie is going to start first grade in about 3 months since they moved to Gotham in June. (Just for reference, Damian is currently 12 and in seventh grade since I've decided not to move him up.)

Everyone in Amity knows about the discord between the Fenton's before Danny leaves. They don't necessarily know about Phantom though. Everyone kind of assumes Danny came out, fought with his parents then left. When some of them find out about Ellie another rumor circulates she was the topic of the fight. Regardless, the Fenton drama is kinda an open secret and most people sympathize with Danny. Whenever he comes back to town to visit a lot of people are really nice to him and Ellie, which he thought was weird until he learned what people thought was going on. Now he just takes advantage of their misunderstandings.

What's up with the GIW?

The GIW manages to get a hold of Ellie after Danny leaves Amity. When Vlad and Danny +Team Phantom find out they team up to rescue her. Danny also recruits people that he's met during his time away. For this mission, he recruits Constantine and Captain Marvel/Shazam. When the Fentons find out they want in too, almost as an apology gesture. They no longer want to try and "fix" Danny and are okay with Ellie's existence. They view her like family and want to help out. A lot of their views are still prejudiced but they're getting better, however, that's not the only thing straining their relationship. This is a step in the right direction though.

So they go in and infiltrate first in order to get Ellie out. Then they destroy the facilities behind them as they leave. Constantine and Captain Marvel then go back to the JL to work on getting to Anti-Ecto Acts repealed, something that is still in progress during the beginning of this fic. That's why they are gonna lay low while they’re in Gotham. The GIW attempted to experiment on Ellie while they had her but the containment unit they used destabilized her ectoplasm. She retains all her memory but is mentally and physically de-aged. Frostbite assesses her and says she needs to get extra ecto and to be near another halfa aura to help develop and stabilize her own systems. That leads to Vlad and Danny fighting over custody before Danny inevitably beats Vlad into the ground and walks away with custody and child support.

I think a full reveal about identities will happen after Danny gets confirmation that his existence is no longer illegal. It'll probably be after Jason asks him out but before he accepts because he wants Jason to know what he's getting into. Jason will probably be shocked but accept it relatively quickly. I haven't decided yet if I want him to live a mortal life with them and then die (either to move on or become a full ghost) or if I want him to be basically immortal like them and give him a position in the court.

~~~~ Find chapter one here

Chapter 2 now here

#long post #dc x dp #dead on main #jason todd x danny fenton #danny fenton #danielle fenton #jason todd #info dump #lore dump #How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps #HBSD #How to Become a Step-Dad in 5 Easy Steps lore #HBSD lore

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emilou-keen-gear · 7 months

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Halloween Story

Word Approx.: 2,900

Characters: Webby, Lena, Violet, May and June

Title: Three’s a Crowd Part 1

“Halloween Slumber Party!” Webby shouted at the top of her lungs as she performed a perfect pile-drive onto a stack of pillows, sending them flying in all directions.

Lena blocked a few with just a wave of her hand, magic sending the fluffy projectiles harmlessly away. Violet batted one away from her book without looking up. May swatted the pillows with an irritated frown but June took one full in the face, then laughed at herself.

Webby was giddy with delight. Not only was this her first slumber party with her clone-sisters, but it also promised to be an extra delightful one with it being during the Halloween season. Which meant telling ghost stories into the night, playing scary games, and eating way too much candy.

However, Webby’s plans for her slumber parties never turned out how she wanted them to go. Little did she know that she thought would be a fun night filled with harmless thrills and chills would turn into a slumber party she would soon regret.

“I’m glad that you planned this slumber party,” Lena said, digging into her backpack.

“Of course. All my slumber parties are totally excellent,” Webby said, trying to remain upbeat for May and June’s sake. After all, they had no knowledge of her previous slumber parties. That last thing she needed was for them to know about the money shark, jumping into the Shadow Realm, and the weird shared dream.

“Because I really need to practice my necromancy and it’s not a good idea to do it alone,” Lena said, bringing out candles, chalk, and incense.

“What?” Webby cried out before laughing. “Oh, Lena, you joker.” She nervously glanced at May and June. They didn’t seem to notice. “Lena, is this really a good time? Couldn’t we do it a different time?”

“But it’s a full moon, and it’s only a week before Halloween. It’s prime spirit communication time,” Lena said. “I won’t have an opportunity like this until next year.”

Webby bit her lower lip. Why couldn’t she, for once, have a nice, normal slumber party? Given, because of these weird episodes, she was able to get Lena back from the shadow realm, but still, it would be nice to have one night where the most exciting thing she did was play Truth or Dare.

“Necromancy? Isn’t that, like, raising zombies and bringing the dead back to life?” May asked skeptically.

June’s eyes widened.

“Technically, Necromancy is magic dealing with the dead. From what I was able to read from Lena’s spell books, most of Necromancy is communication with spirits and sending them to the next world. Zombies is high level necromancy, and nobody can bring the dead back to life,” Violet said in her no-nonsense way. “Although there is a lot more to it than that.”

“Oh, so we’re going to play that one game with the magnifying glass and letters and numbers on the board to talk to ghosts, right?” April asked. She didn’t seem concerned by the idea, nor did she sound interested. In fact, she sounded bored.

But June looked worried. “Aren’t those things dangerous? Don’t they summon evil spirits?”

Lena rolled her eyes. “What you’re describing is an Ouija board, and, yeah, I have one of those. We can try one out. And, no, we’re not going to summon an evil spirit, June. Scrooge has this mansion protected against evil spirits. Plus he has Duckworth, who would keep us safe. We’ll only communicate with good spirits. Besides, I can only summon weak ones at my level of necromancy.”

April rolled her eyes. “You really are selling us on this party game.”

“Party game?” Lena repeated.

“Yeah. It’s just a game,” April said. “We’ll ask the board a bunch of questions, and one of you will move the magnifying glass around and pretend that a spirit has come to talk to us. Let’s skip it. We’re not that gullible.”

June still looked nervous but nodded her head in agreement with her sister. “Yeah, it sounds…silly. Let’s do something else.”

Webby jumped on that idea. “Yeah, because I have a whole bunch of activities we can do tonight. We don’t have to summon spirits. Right, Lena?” She looked at her friend hopefully.

Lena sighed. “Fine. I’ll put all this stuff away. I wouldn’t want to scare anyone tonight anyway.”

“Scare?” May demanded, knowing a challenge when she heard one. “This child’s game doesn’t scare us, right June?”

June had found a blanket to wrap around herself with only her eyes peeking out. “Yeah. It doesn’t scare us.”

Lena and May looked at those wide-eyes, not believing that lie.

“Prove it,” Lena said, pulling out her Ouija board—a homemade one—and waggled it at May.

“Fine,” May said, snatching the board and setting it on the floor.

“Hey, I understand that you want to practice, Lena, but this is a slumber party and it’s obvious that not everyone wants to summon spirits,” Webby said. “Maybe we should do something that all of us will enjoy. How about we watch a movie?”

“Or we could put it to a vote and let majority rule?” May said. “There’s two for summoning spirits—or at least pretending to summon spirits—“ She shot a smirk at Lena. “—and two for doing something else.”

The four ducklings turned to the fifth member of their party who had remained quiet for the most part.

Violet set her book down. “And it looks like it comes to me to be the tie-breaker. As much as I would like to stop the squabbling, perhaps I could propose a compromise so that there are no hard feelings throughout the night and spoil Webbigail’s slumber party.”

Lena rolled her eyes at her adopted sister’s lengthy explanation.

May looked intrigued.

“I suggest we allow Lena to practice her necromancy for a limited time of fifteen minutes and fifteen minutes only, just to see if she can do it or not since there isn’t any guarantee that it will work,” Violet continued.

Lena folded her arms. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Vi.”

“You’re welcome. I, for one, believe that you could if you have the concentration since we all know you’re powerful enough to do it,” Violet said. “I would love to be able to communicate with some historical figures once you have mastered this branch of magic. However, for the sake of certain members of the group who are uncomfortable with the subject matter, I suggest that some of us go downstairs and prepare snacks and the movie.”

“Oh, I could do that,” June said, jumping out of her blanket. “I’ll just wait in the TV room until you’re done.”

Webby was surprised with how quickly June had gone for the compromise. “Great, June. Thanks. Do you want any help?”

“No, I got it. I’ll just ask Mrs. Beakley if I can’t find anything,” June said, going out the door.

Webby turned to the others, having found Lena already drawing a protective circle large enough for the board and everyone to sit around it. Violet was getting her phone ready to time the séance so they didn’t go over the fifteen minute time period.

“Okay, everyone, sit in the circle,” Lena said, putting down the last candle.

“And let me guess, we all hold hands,” May said blithely.

“Only if you get scared,” Lena said with a smirk. “I have to hold the crystal, so we won’t be able to hold hands, but I should only be summoning a low-level spirit, so the protective circle should be enough.”

May frowned, looking uncertain. But she sat down on one side of the Ouija board, the others joining her until they formed a square facing the board.

Lena held out a crystal on a chain over the board, the crystal dangling just a few inches over the letters and numbers on the board.

“I thought we had that magnifying glass that we all touch,” May wondered.

“Yeah, because that’s for a game,” Lena said. “This is the real thing. Do you honestly think that a ghost is going to visit a bunch of kids and try to wrestle a little plastic triangle just to write out a dumb message to scare them?”

“Uh…no. Thus the sarcasm,” May pointed out.

“Well, this is how a real spirit medium does it,” Lena said. “Now before I begin, everyone must expel all negative emotions. We must have positive emotions in the circle. Most spirits are neutral, and our positive energy will make them positive. If a negative spirit answers our summons, positive energy will deflect them. But it is unlikely that a negative spirit will come.”

“Based on Webbigail’s record for slumber parties, I think that statement is false,” Violet said.

Webby’s face fell, her worries showing through.

“It was a joke,” Violet said, a smile showing through her deadpan demeanor. “I was trying to bring in some levity to help with the positive emotions.”

Webby laughed. “Yeah, good one, Violet,” she said. The joke actually helped.

“Okay, I think we’re ready,” Lena said with a smile and started a chant in a language nobody but Violet recognized. After a while, Lena asked, “Is there a spirit here that is willing to communicate?”

Everyone looked to the crystal still dangling over the Ouija board. It didn’t move.

“We’d like to talk to a spirit. If there are any nearby, use the crystal to speak to us,” Lena said, trying to concentrate on positive energy as well as clear thoughts for the spirit. Both of these things weren’t her strongest suits.

She kept asking questions and inviting spirits to come talk to them, but still the crystal didn’t move except for a bit of trembling from Lena’s hand. It was hard to keep her hand still while holding it out.

“We have two minutes left,” Violet announced, glancing at her phone.

“Let me try one more time,” Lena said. “I think I sense something, but something is preventing it from communicating. Is everyone thinking positive thoughts?” She shot a glare at May.

May shrugged. “Hey, I have been thinking positive thoughts. I’m positive that this won’t work.”

Lena gave a frustrated sigh. “Come on, May.”

“Okay, okay. Positive thoughts. Kittens and rainbow and marshmallows,” May said.

Lena glared again.

“Hey, those were positive,” May defended. “I like kittens and rainbows and marshmallows.” She was sincere.

“I’m getting something,” Lena said, closing her eyes. “If you’re there, do you want to talk to us?”

Suddenly, the crystal started to rotate in a circle slightly then it straightened, pointing to the “Yes” on the board.

“Yes!” Lena cheered.

May’s eyes widened. “Okay, I’m not going to insult you by asking how you’re doing that. I’m just going to swallow my pride. But I’m not scared.”

Then the chain jerked to the “No”.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Violet asked.

“I’m sensing there’s two spirits,” Lena said. “They seem to be fighting over the crystal.”

“Are they both friendly? Maybe one of them is shy?” Webby asked, not liking how quickly the crystal went to “No” but she was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt, even ghosts.

“And are there only two of them?” May asked, looking around as if there were hordes of ghosts spying on her.

The crystal moved to the number two and then it went to the one.

“I guess one left,” May thought and she shivered. “Did it suddenly get cold in here?”

“The temperature has dropped by twenty degrees ever since the crystal started moving,” Violet said. “I brought my equipment to test Lena’s experiment, and I’ve been getting some interesting data. I can’t wait to listen to the audio recording I made once I get it on my computer.”

“Did the other ghost leave?” Lena asked.

The crystal went to the “Yes.”

“Where did the other ghost go?” Webby asked.

The crystal jerked again, this time going to a letter, then another, spelling something out. The girls spoke each letter as the crystal pointed to it.

“H. E. S. W. I. T. H. J. U. N. E.”

“He’s with June?” May spoke the words once the crystal stopped moving. Her eyes widened. “June.”

She raced out of the circle and downstairs, calling for her sister’s name. She didn’t know why, but she felt scared. She hadn’t felt scared all night, but she did then. She first checked the TV room, and finding it empty, went to the kitchen. She shoved the door open and shouted her sister’s name.

June was standing by the back door that was wide open and was waving. “Bye, Auggie. Thanks for your help.” Turning around, she looked at May curiously. “Oh, are you guys done already? Wow, time sure flies.”

“June, are you okay?” May asked, going to her sister.

“I’m fine. It’s not that hard to make some brownies,” June said. “I just barely put them in, so they won’t be done for a while, but you can start the movie without me.”

May looked to the open back door. “What were you doing? Who were you talking to?”

“Just a boy. Auggie,” June said, confused. “He stopped by and helped me make some brownies. Why do you sound angry?”

“I—I’m not. You just shouldn’t talk to strangers,” May said, closing the door.

“He said he knew Scrooge McDuck,” June said. “I thought that Auggie was Huey, Dewey and Louie’s friend. He was so nice, and he knew his way around the kitchen, so he must know the house.”

“It’s not your house. You shouldn’t invite strangers in,” May said before realizing how loud she was talking. The look on June’s face was enough to make her realize that she was yelling.

“I’m sorry,” June said.

Webby stepped forward. She, Lena and Violet had followed May but kept back until now. “There’s no harm done. Everything is fine.”

June wiped at her eyes, clearing away any tears before they could be seen and nodded. “I’m sorry. He was just so nice, and I promise that nothing bad happened.”

“It’s okay,” Webby said again. “It’s just…we contacted some spirits and…we think…”

“We think that they were just trying to scare us, and I was afraid that one of them would try to scare you,” May jumped in. “But you’re fine, and the spirits are all gone, so everything is fine.”

Webby was surprised by May’s lie, but she kept her beak shut.

“Oh,” June said. “Then I’m glad Auggie was with me. He made it so I wasn’t scared. And I bet that if a ghost did appear, he would have protected me.” She then hummed a bit, happily.

May cast a glance at Lena before saying, “We’re going to go get the movie ready. Violet, could you help June with the rest of the snacks.”

“Sure,” Violet said.

May then pushed Lena and Webby out of the kitchen.

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were being too bossy,” Lena quipped.

“Are those ghosts gone?” May demanded of Lena.

Lena shrugged. “I’m not sure. You left the circle so suddenly that I didn’t have time to end the ritual. But more than likely, the ghosts weren’t powerful enough to stay. The mansion’s protection should move them along. Not unless they have an emotional attachment to the area.”

“But you could do something else to make sure they don’t come back, right?” May asked.

Lena nodded. “Sure.”

“Could you do it now, please?” May asked, her bossiness dropping. She looked more concern.

“Yeah, I’ll get to it now,” Lena said. “Don’t worry. The ghost was just a kid. More than likely, he won’t do your sister any harm.”

“Yeah, okay,” May said, folding her arms.

After Lena left, Webby said, “I feel kind of sorry for Auggie.”

“The ghost? You feel sorry for a ghost?” May asked.

“Well, he’s just a kid, like us,” Webby said sadly. “He died so young. It doesn’t really seem fair.”

May’s face slipped to sorry. “Yeah, that is kind of sad.”

“And since he’s a ghost, there’s probably not a lot of ghosts his age around. He’s probably lonely,” Webby continued. “I bet he just wanted to spend time with June. She’s really nice and likes to make people happy.”

May knew that June was a people pleaser. She always had. She always sought out approval to anyone around. To May. To Bradford. To Red Heron. And they had all demanded so much of June. Even May demanded things of June.

At least they had Donald and Daisy and all these new friends. With the kindness and attention that they were giving the clone sisters, June might eventually learn that the only person she had to please was herself.

“At least he seemed to be a friendly ghost,” Webby said. “Don’t worry about it.”

But May did worry. But perhaps the boy wasn’t who she should worry about. What about the other ghost? And were there truly only two ghosts? Could there be more?

Bad things come in threes.

Could there be a third ghost?

May felt a chill go down her spine which she shook away. She had been thinking too many dark thoughts. Lena was going to wiggle her fingers and say a few magic words, and all the ghosts would be gone.

And that would be the end of that.

End of part 1

Hi, I was trying to write a bunch of short stories for the Halloween month, and this one kind of went a little longer than I wanted to. I thought I would break it up in sections. I have a few other stories I want to get to first, so the second part may take me a few days to get to.

#ducktales 2017 #ducktales #fanfiction #halloween stories #webby vanderquack #violet #lena #may #june #emilou writes

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spam-monster · 2 years

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- Okay I normally side with Ryan on these things but if someone told me there were bats in a room my first instinct would absolutely be to go look for them.

- Ghost "hey it's those nerds who stole Goatman's bridge!"

- The spirit box: *yelling* Shane *yells back at it as one would meow back at a particularly chatty cat*

- their fcking faces when they referenced the drinking show while drinking

- if I was a ghost I would 100% do stupid dance moves in front of people to confuse them

- dramatic music playing while Shane is playing "count the dead flies" and Ryan is just done with him

- mocking the door ghost

- the coom zone

- aww they get to watch each other be stupid this time that's nice

- Shane found puppets to play with good for him

- Ryan what did you eat why do you keep tooting

- I'm Batman

- ...Shane of course he went up there he needs to get the walkie

- Ryan *coping by telling the ghosts terrible puns*

- Ryan *coping by going Joker arc*

- oh great they both messed with the haunted dummy

- Ryan *coping by doing utter nonsense *

#watcher entertainment #we are watcher #ghost files

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thevindicativevordan · 1 year

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Now that it's finished what do you think of Superman: Space Age? Will it persist as an evergreen standalone a la All Star? Or will it be forgotten?

No clue what it's long term reception will be, but folks, this is one of my favorite Superman stories. I'm not good at critiquing art so I just want to start this off by saying Mike Allred's work here is worth the price tag alone. I've dreamt of seeing him draw a Superman book for ages, and he did not disappoint me here, particularly loved how he always gave Lois different outfits.

"Dark" Superman stories face a tough balancing act. They must take Superman into territory he doesn't often go to, and they must do so without breaking the character. Superman at heart is an optimistic story. To the question of "can a powerful man be good?", he is supposed to be an affirmative response. How then can that spirit of optimism and idealism be present in a story where the pitch is "Earth is fucked and going to die, and there's nothing Superman can do to prevent that"? Defying expectations, Russell treats that kind of pitch as an opportunity to reconstruct Superman where others would use it to deconstruct him.

A question the book returns to again and again over the course of the three issues is what should Superman be doing with his powers? Clark himself is eager to get off the farm and see the world. Jor-El supports his eagerness and expects him to be Earth's champion. Pa Kent tries to tamper down his enthusiasm. Lois grills him on whether his heroics are misaimed and his gifts could be better applied in other ways. Brainiac chides him for wasting his time on humanity when the Anti-Monitor is coming to annihilate the universe. It's a question many Superman writers have taken a stab at answering, but Russell gives an answer that I love: Sure there are bigger problems that Clark needs to address, but the smaller problems he solves have a meaning too.

Helping and interacting people on an individual basis let's Superman show people that someone cares. That someone viewed them as individually having worth, rather than only being concerned with the larger picture. And he also helps people simply because he enjoys doing that. Russell points out that the simpler pleasures in life, whether that's eating a good meal or rescuing a cat out of a tree, are sources of strength that support us in our quests to overcome life's big hurdles. Someone taking the time out to enjoy those simpler pleasures is nothing to be chided for, especially since it doesn't stop Superman from saving the Earth multiple times over the course of the story. He prevented nuclear war! He fended off Brainiac! He stopped an asteroid! Superman was able to save people on the large scale and the small scale just fine for years, up until the end.

Speaking of saving people, the central question of the story is how do you solve the trolley problem? If the only way to save five people is to kill one, do you do it? Batman says yes, but you kill the one to save the five out of defiance. Someone tied five people to the track and they want those five people to die. By diverting the trolley you give that person the finger and deny them what they want. This outlook plays into Batman's ending, where he gets the Joker killed in order to save the kids, killing one to save five. However Batman overlooked something critical in his solution to the trolley problem: what if someone didn't want to kill the five? What if instead they only wanted to kill the one, but didn't want to do it themselves, and merely used five people in order to force another to kill the one for them? This is what Lex does, he doesn't want the kids dead, he wants Bruce Wayne dead, and Bruce sacrificing himself just ends up giving Lex what he wants. Batman's solution is a failure because he ended up playing right into Lex's hands.

In contrast, Superman believes that you should try and save all six, even if you fail. When the cynics and the corrupt are firmly in charge, that's when you need people who aspire to do more than the world says they can. Superman's solution is a critical factor in his ending as well. His idealistic attempt to save everyone, Project Humanity, diverted his attention away from the world for a little while. Some people died because Superman was trying to save everyone instead of simply saving what he already could. In the end though, Superman is vindicated because his efforts save more than he ever could have otherwise. With the DNA of everyone on the planet, he was able to send said DNA to another Earth when the Anti-Monitor finally destroyed his home universe. Kal becomes Jor-El, a desperate scientist on a doomed planet who sends the last remnant of his species to another world in hopes that they can survive. And just like Kal once beat the odds and made it, humanity makes the trip and is resurrected by another Earth's Superman. Unlike his father Superman managed to save his people, even if he couldn't save his planet. Reminds me of Reed Richards in Hickman's Secret Wars epic, Clark and Reed both couldn't win, but they did find a way to not lose.

It's not a perfect story, and some of the flaws do grate me. While the focus on Batman does play an important role in setting up the ending, at times it feels like Russell's focus is spread too thin. Really I think he had enough material for a companion Batman: Space Age mini, and just tried to fold it into this book. Contrast between Superman and Batman's answer to the trolley thought experiment is needed for how it sets up the ending, but I don't think we needed as many pages focusing on Bruce as we got. Plus this is just a personal issue, but I found it disappointing that Clark and Lex never interact at all in this story, with Batman being more of a personal foe for Lex than Superman. Batman is the one who exposes Lex's plot in the first issue, and ultimately it's Bruce Wayne whom Lex targets when he gets out of prison. Russell writes such a great Lex that I was disappointed we didn't get to see him write any Clark/Lex interactions.

Outside of that big complaint? Love this. Adore the Mike Allred art which is gorgeous and which I desperately want to see an Absolute edition of. Appreciate Russell giving us a darker Superman story that talks about big serious philosophical issues, and doesn't give easy answers. It's a story that even now still sticks with me, especially the tragedy of the ending. Clark and all of the originals are dead, just like how the other Superman isn't the same guy as the "main" Superman, the people he recreated aren't the originals. Not since I've read For The Man Who Has Everything have I gotten such a bittersweet ending to a Superman story. Fantastic book and definitely one I will come back to in the future.

#superman #superman space age #mark russell #mike allred

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qualityrain · 8 months

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I know like nothing abt persona but I wanna hear you talk about akechi goro. He's weird, I think I would like him.

this is like 2.3k words theres more to say about this silly guy but im out of juice also i did not proof read. also yk. p5 vanilla and p5 royal spoilers. also tw suicide mention

ok persona 5 royal is like a power fantasy game where you play as like a 16 yr old guy (who i will call akira), reform society and fight god. in the game akira gets wrongly accused of assault so he goes to tokyo for his probation and gains god powers and starts a group called the Phantom Thieves (PT) to change the hearts of shitty adults while gaining a found family in the process. so theres this thing called the metaverse and its like the cognition world where akira gets a persona which is a thing that represents your spirit of rebellion and is part of yourself and makes you mega cool and powerful. everybody can only have one persona except when god says so. so having more than one persona is a wildcard. akira and akechi are both wildcards. also theres his murderer in the metaverse causing mental shutdowns and is like killing people.

Ok so akechi is a detective that is against the PT and thinks they are working outside the law and is supposed to catch them and becomes akiras friend after akira debates him on live television. akira knows that akechi is very much likely to be the murderer and akechi knows that akira is the PT leader. they become friends in the sense of the game mechanic called confidants and the higher the confidant level the closer you are to the character. also akechi paraphrases hegel saying that advancement cannot occur without thesis and antithesis and thats their entire relationship in the whole game but im not getting into it because yk akechi

so like theyre using each other for information but not really because they dont talk abt the PT everytime they hang out so idk what they are doing. akechi thinks hes better than everyone and relies on himself so when akira is able to debate him hes like wow this is a worthy adversary!! also the stage play has a song abt this and its akechi going wow you are the one im waiting for, a worthy rival !! in my racing heart i wish for a competition with both our lives on the line. so yeah hes a little weirdo.

rank 2 (rank 1 is obtained instantly) is akechi and akira playing billards together because akechi only has hobbies that are considered high class and for talking with adults. ive seen somebody say hes rude to akira until akira notices that akechi is playing with his right hand instead of his left (hes left handed) and this proves to akechi that akira is indeed a worthy rival and so hes not rude to him anymore. akechi is intentionally handicapping himself so he says when akira is able to beat him using his right hand he will go all out.

rank 3 is akechi taking akira to a cafe to eat. akechi is a celebrity and also has a food blog. he doesnt have a favourite food and pretends to have a sweet tooth for the masses. he goes to places to eat for the popularity not the food. i think in jpn he mentions how his fans only like him on a surface level and how they will all leave him eventually. his fans see him and akira ruffles akechis hair and lends him his glasses to disguise himself. akechi is like haha i didnt expect that but you know hes SEETHING inside so much that afterwards when he calls akira on the phone hes like haha you caught me off guard!!!(actually really pissed off) you and i are the same height maybe you can wear my clothes and nobody will be able to tell the difference haha wont it be fun :))) i will dictate everything like the hair (RLLY MAD ABT THE HAIR RUFFLING) and clothes!!

ok i saw somebody say that akechi is a homme fatale and yeah. thats a thing. he apparently flirts more in the lower ranks? but i cant tell because yk aroace

persona 5 is a game about masks and personas (shocker) akira has 2 main personas he has. the cool joker personality in the metaverse and the shy low key akira in the real world. akechi is the same with 2 main personas. the detective prince and the heartless murderer. akiras mask in the real world is represented by his glasses and lending it to akechi is like this intimate gesture that akira does for nobody else which leads to…..

rank 4 is akechi bringing akira to rhe jazz club where its akechis favourite place. somewhere he feels the most at home at. he says he cant cook for his life. like ei levels of cooking. so he just microwaves food at home 😭😭😭😭😭😭. the song that plays here is very much associated with akechi its called “no more what ifs” and its most applicable to akechi in third semester but the gist of it is akechi can only be who he is and regrets none of his choices. which is actually rlly funny when u realise akechi is barely a person because almost every part of him is carefully curated to be as likeable as possible. also akechi has like no friends its just akira. clown.

rank 5 is akechi bringing akira to play a gun game to make a haha im practicing to take you out (MURDER) joke. akechi says he used to play hero for his mother as a child. put a pin in this. also i forgot to say akechi is the justice arcana in this game but ppl also say he is the justice arcana reversed. he asks akira whats his idea of a hero and if akira says “a hero is somebody who sticks to their justice” and akechi replies “but if nobody wants it then isnt it empty self righteousness”. so akechi kills people for his justice………….so hates himself a lot.

rank 6 is akechi and akira going to the bathhouse where akechi says his mother was a prostitute and his father ditched her when he found out she was pregnant so he is a bastard child. his mother also commits suicide because its very taboo to have a child without being married which led akechi to believe that hes an unwanted child. and he wants revenge on his piece of shit father. also after his mother died he was passed from foster home to foster home. theres this video that explains the cultural significance of akechis character so here u go https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia8D664sof8&pp=ygUYYWtlY2hpIGphcGFuZXNlIHduYWx5c2lz akechi realises he shares too much and disappears for the next 2 months.

he comes back to blackmail the PTs to join them and to kill akira.

rank 7. the plan to kill akira has been finalised. he asks akira out to play billards again. this time he tells akira whats going to happen but in billards. he says smth like u cant just land the ball in the hole like that you have to be precise and indirect. And how its like the “perfect crime”. the mental shutdowns that akechi is doing. hes not caught and nobody knows. he says that the ball is not easily controlled that despite the player having the best intentions the ball might strike unrelated objects in the path. this is about akechi who needs to kill akira to fulfil his goal of revenge to get the justice for his mother. akira beats akechi in this game of billards and akira asks akechi to join the PT. akechi responds by asking akira, in japanese, to toss his friends away like garbage to join him. you can date any female character in this game btw and the pop up to signify a romantic choice pops up here. the whole i need to choose my choice carefully thing. akechi is the only male character with that same pop up. no romance route but take that as you will. the correct reply to akechis question in jpn is “akechi, you are my rival” if you agree to drop everybody and join akechi, he will stop you. i cannot remember what he says exactly in the english option and its hard to find a video that accepts this but the gist is that akechi has an expectation for akira as his rival. akira has to stick to his principle. this is what akechi expects of akira and he wont let akira stray from those principles. dropping everybody and joining akechi is breaking those principles and akechi wont allow it. theres more to this but my brain wont work its from fhis tumblr post https://www.tumblr.com/vashtijoy/725074969636274176/why-not-join-me-instead-akechis-invitation its like. akechi wanting an equal relationship with akira and not being co conspirators with a power imbalance

rank 8. akechi pulls a real ass gun on akira in the metaverse. they duel it out. akira wins. akechi is pissed. he hates that akira is catching up to him and could even be better rhan him. he tells akira. to be entirely honest with you. i hate you. your deft handling of your unfortunate circumstances, your uniqueness, your ability to surpass me- all of these irritate me….you’re the one person i refuse to lose too. and then he throws his glove at akira as physical evidence of them having a future duel. akira has gone through shit and has come out better than akechi. theyve both been screwed over by adults they both have masks but akira is the one with friends and everybody loves him while akechi is only loved when hes lying. to akechi its unfair and akira shows akechi that there is another way he couldve gotten revenge in a way without hurting others but he didnt know until hes in too deep and now he cant stop.

akechi shoots fake akira in the head and hes silly about it. hes happy because he wins their duel but is also disappointed because he expected more of akira and hes kinda fucked up from it because he shot and killed his only friend and the first time he kills somebody irl but yk hes dealing with it (having a breakdown on main

rank 9. akechi wishes he met akira earlier. that perhaps it would undoom him.

rank 10. the breakdown. akechi wants to be loved. at his core. the moment his mother died he internalised that he was unwanted and unloved and fakes his entire personality and everything so people would love him but its all fake and hes still feeling like hes better off dead. he saves the PT but doesnt save himself even when he can because he thinks he doesnt deserve to live. without his revenge akechi has nothing and it was his drive to continue living ever since he was a child theres nothing else he has to live for until akira gets rank 10 with him and akechi learns the ability endure to survive. its akira telling akechi. that akechi still has to keep to his promise of a second duel to akira that shows akechi that somebody cares and wants him around that he gains the will to survive.

so akechi and akira are destined to be enemies by god and akechi was specifically chosen to represent humanity’s destruction but akira shoots god in the face so thats sorted out

third semester your therapist becomes god and now you’re in a reality where there is no pain. akechi takes akiras place in prison and gets released and hes really mad about it because he thinks he deserves punishment and everything bad to happen to him because he killed people. he joins the PT to defeat your therapist now god because akechi doesnt want to be manipulated ever again (see: him being manipulated his entire life) hes really unhinged in battle in third sem but yk. sillyguy things. akechi is less happy less fake more angry more asshole more tired in third semester. he drops most of the detective prince mask with the PT but drops it completely with akira. akechi knows that he is dead and is intentionally acting like a mega bitch to make everybody not care about him. your therapist is like wow akira i saw akechi die and brought him back to life for you <333 and akechi makes akira kill him <33333333 and doesnt expect akira to hesitate because akechi thinks that hes nothing to akira compared to everybody else <333 he still thinks that hes unloved <333333333333333

so yeah akechi dies. wow end of game. except not (i pull out the red string) (joke) the true ending cutscene we see akechi walk past akiras train so hes still alive if hes rank 10 w joker

ok now other silly things. akechi eats like one apple for lunch thats it. akechi wears sweater vests to match a previous famous detective from persona 4 (naoto!!). akechi cycles and does bouldering and his bicycle is not owned by him because everything he has is owned by his piece of shit father <3333 he has like 0 social skills he constantly tells akira hes sweaty. one day he sees akira on the train and doesnt even say hi just starts talking. akira says one (1) word and akechi is like wow what an eloquent response its rhe perfecr response its concise and keeps the conversation gojng you’re so amazing!!! akechi has two personas that awakened at the same time to show how conflicted he is with himself. one of his unused voicelines to the PT is asking what mask do they want him to wear. another unused voiceline is him saying my persona craves prey like the edgy kid he is. he the only character who insists on playing 701 darts which is the longest and hardest darts and intentionally shoots in a way that always ends on akiras turn so you have to get it right or else you lose everything. asshole. Unused darts dialogue where akira says “go go goro san” and akechi misses the dart and loses. silliest guy in persona 5 royal.

EDIT: in one of the mangas akechi buys akira a bigass uncooked fish as like a gift or smth because he didnt know what to get. clown. clown. when u talk to akechi in game he sometimes says oh im waiting for somebody (LIE because he has NO FRIENDS) silliest guy

#asks #cori-randomstuff #the enabler of my rambling

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theoncomingchaos · 2 years

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Scoy Novel: Chapter 7 SKY POV!

First Nuea and now Sky, we are blessed.

His literal first words: “I’m seducing.”

Boy. Calm down.

Steps for Sky falling in love with Jao:

Step 1: This dude looks boring af.→ WHY DOESN’T HE WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME?!

Step 2: Why...do I like that he’s ignoring me? (Sky talks a lot about Jao’s eyes shining and cursing him...)

Step 3: Ok, I’m stubborn too, let’s see who survives to the end!

Step 4: Why is this so much harder than seducing a girl?

Step 5: The Queens of the group immediately calls him out on his bs. “Is this just for the game or for real?” “I just wanna see the possibilities...” Nice excuse.

Step 6: Be mean to him and see how he likes that! (Gets ignored) → Try being nice instead. (Gets his money taken & his feelings hurt) → Realizes he is out matched and decides he’ll follow Jao’s lead. Then he "will conquer him!” A few chapters later →　“I always lose to Jao. I can’t even count to ten, then he knocks me out.”

Step 7: Stubbornly offer to do whatever he says AND MORE if you can get your way closer to him, then tease him about being short because his pouting is so good and then you both lose?

Step 8: Demand to know where he is at all times and go there. When he leaves you on read call him your boyfriend. (Gets ignored) Call him short. (Win)

Step 9: The week is almost up...but why should it end if I still want to follow him around?

Step 10: Maybe this is always what I’ve wanted, I just didn’t realize it before. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t feel serious with anyone else before.

Bonus: Book Jao is somehow impossibly even MORE stubborn than series Jao?!

Book Jao is SO FIESTY! After he takes Sky’s money to treat his whole group for lunch and basically writes him off for the day, Sky is hurt and asks, “Is this fun?” and Jao reponds: “Pleasant.”

Jao is more sensitive about his height than his weight in the book. (I’m really happy they changed this, so much more important for representation.)

Sky doing EVERYTHING to go to Jao’s room to eat including: offering to buy him bowls, sitting on the floor, and washing the dishes. A+ for effort.

Jao gave him roses at the concert: “In exchange for gas money.”

I swear, every other line with Jao is a mic drop moment.

Another interesting take is that the whole Sky was a player thing is brought up a lot more by his friends. Even Nuea sees him as a “playful guy” who doesn’t really get invested/care about people in a deep way. At first Nuea just thought Sky was the joker of their group, but once they start to talk about their feelings for Toh and Jao, their friendship also grows deeper.

Comparison to the Series:

In the series, we have to make a lot of inferences as to why Sky fell for Jao since we never really get definitive or direct evidence about it, but I do think it’s similar.

How Sky fell in love in the series:

-The series added the bathroom meeting and from that we could see that Sky was already a little starstruck. He probably already finds Jao cute which is different from the book.

-In the series we still see Sky sort of playfully competing with Jao and trying to get him to respond- particularly in the birthday party episode when they are in the car. Jao responds similarly to Book Jao by going out of his way to avoid the door Sky opens for him. This peaks Sky’s interest and competitive spirit that we see within the week of flirting.

Now, I’m not sure where Book Skyjao will go, but...

-Series Sky has some self esteem issues, and needs someone with a good heart that he can take care of and that will let him feel loved. After spending time with Jao, he sees his good heart (probably from how Jao is with his friends like when he went to the club with them even though he was sick and doesn’t like that sort of place to begin with). That’s when I think he really got serious about it. (For example, Jao didn’t know he was sitting out in the parking lot waiting for him to go to sleep. Sky did that for himself. It wasn’t about competition or the game or conquering Jao, Sky was genuinely worried and wanted to watch over him.)

-After the get together, Jao also allows Sky to drop his “Cool Guy” act and appreciates him for who he is. He doesn’t have to look “as good as Nuea” or “be as smart as Tor,” Jao will love him best, wholeheartedly and honestly. This cements their relationship and likely makes it very different from the many girls he chased around before during his life as a player.

I’m very curious if book Skyjao will still take this direction because seeing Sky’s thoughts he seems much more confident than series Sky who even in the first episode was being compared to Nuea.

Ugh I’m so curious I can’t wait for more Sky chapters! And hopefully we will get some Jao chapters eventually?

#scoy #secret crush on you #secret crush on you the novel #skyjao #Secret Crush on You the series #thai bl

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rainbowgod666 · 3 months

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The perfect DC/Marvel comic is like this

Its a batman book, the joker is killed off in the first panel and that has no meaning or repercussions over the timeline

The watchmen are a thing and Dr. Manhattan figured out a way to get rid of the whole "every moment is the present" thing. This makes it easier for the writer to write its dialogues. He is still earth-shatteringly autistic and everyone loves him for this

Also he and deadpool accidentally bond over "seeing the 4th wall". Deadpool is also buddies with moon knight. Guess what my favourite charachter is?

Good ol IRL me is there and its canon that the one time when i tried to help constantine every demon/spirit/whatever that has a stake on him was SCREAMING to him "get tf away from him not even death's gonna save you". Which i mean, rude

Welcome to the multiverse. Batman has small dick energy and superman is such a pacifist some people have trouble seeing him as anything other than "alien übermensch thats just a really nice guy and thats eat". He may be white bread but here in italy we say "buono come il pane" or "good as bread" so yeah hes a Certified Good Boy

I cannot stress enough how much unimportant is the death of the joker. He basically might as well have never existed.

Wonder Woman comes to the realization (after i confronted her about it because FFS WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE MULTIVERSE'S BABYSITTER) that MAYBE reducing her entire power assortment to "r/TwoXChromosomes" is a bad thing both for boys AND girls alike. I know the song goes "forget your balls and grow a pair of tits" but i would instead put programs so that boys feel safe about their masculinity and girls wont have to worry about Bad People In Dimly Lit Alleys.

SCP and MONUMENTMYTHOS are referenced really tangentially. Only the wikis (official or not) aknowlegde this fully

There are at least three scenes where tony stark reads about elongated muskrat on the news. In all of them hes disappointed

He also references him appearing on big bang theory, which in THIS universe is ran by the charachters of the series as a fun class B science program that has way more audience than it should have. Sheldon met Dr. Manhattan, who described our multi-knocking boy as just like him but "less knowledgeable and more arrogant" (no fr shelly is one /gamemode 1 from becoming dr. pasadiña or whatever)

Considering this is "DC and Marvel, but Alex did his bullshit", expect dumb shit

I am introduced with a MadCom reference that is also a Courage the cowardly dog reference. KeK

The Owlman is revealed to have had a massive brain tumor that straight up removed his ability to think rationally while making him speak like his cigars are made of dictionaries

So many events from so many storylines happen all at once lol

Spidey disapproves of O'Hara. Like everyone else.

Multiple references are everywhere

There is SERIOUS PROOF that thanos accidentally something important when he was testing the infinity gauntlet, whoops!

Gamora tries to kill me after i try to roast her for how she is. She is shocked to find out that me getting Kakyoin'd did nothing but "ow"

@moringmark is referenced in a 4 panel scene in the toh universe

A cover story reveals that, on the moon, a portal opens. The portal is traversed by a shiny deoxys and many little among us crewmates. The impostors are all black (literally) (if you see racism in this, fuck you not everyone is an american cop) (on that note, watch southland) and act as guards for the group. Deoxys is in its base form

The valve universe is a thing so welcome BLU, RED, aperture and black mesa!

#dc comics #marvel #welcome to the multiverse #Earth-ℵ₀

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dprsdprs · 1 year

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I was listening to Paul Simon’s Hearts and Bones album recently, for the first time in many years – the first time, really, since I was a young teenager. I bought it when it came out in 1983 and listened to it over and over. But hearing it again, and particularly listening to the title track, I was struck by a question: how did I take this back then? What did it mean to me, and why did it mean so much?

So: the title song is a beautifully worn-down response to a relationship at its end, a mix of nostalgic glimpses of happier times and a weary, bruised sense of life in the aftermath of some cathartic break-up. Listening to it as a young teenager, still a virgin and almost wholly inexperienced in such emotions, I wonder if I didn’t think this is how I want to feel. I wanted the happiness, but in a retrospective way (because then it’s done and dusted and safe); and I wanted the melancholy because it just seemed so grown-up and sophisticated and suave. I wanted, as an old joke has it, to skip the marriage and go straight to the divorce. After all – and I am hardly the first person to point this out – there is a complex sort of joy in sadness.

But can this be right? Surely what people want is to be happy. Whole philosophies (I’m looking at you, utilitarianism) rest on the premise that more happiness is always and everywhere a good thing. There is a Global Happiness Index, measuring how happy people are (Denmark tops the league). Bhutan even has a Gross National Happiness Commission, with the power to review government policy decisions and allocate resources.

It’s good to be happy sometimes, of course. Yet the strange truth is that we don’t wish to be happy all the time. If we did, more of us would be happy – it’s not as if we in the affluent West lack tools or means to gratify ourselves. Sometimes we are sad because we have cause, and sometimes we are sad because – consciously or unconsciously – we want to be. Perhaps there’s a sense in which emotional variety is better than monotony, even if the monotone is a happy one. But there’s more to it than that, I think. We value sadness in ways that make happiness look a bit simple-minded. Sadness inspires great art in a way that grinningly eating ice cream in your underpants cannot. In his essay ‘Atrabilious Reflections upon Melancholy’ (1823), Hartley Coleridge (son of Samuel Taylor) praised melancholy as a more refined state of mind than happiness. ‘Melancholy can scarce exist in an undegraded spirit – it cannot exist in a mere animal’ is how he put it:Melancholy is the only Muse. She is Thalia and Melpomene. She inspired Milton and Michael Angelo, and Swift and Hogarth. All men of genius are melancholy – and none more so than those whose genius is comic. Men (those I mean who are not mere animals) may be divided, according to the kind of their melancholy, into three great classes. Those who seek for the infinite, in contradistinction to the finite – those who seek for the infinite in the finite – and those who seek to degrade the finite by a comparison with the infinite. The first class comprehends philosophers and religionists; the second, poets, lovers, conquerors, misers, stockjobbers, & c.; and the third comprises satirists, comedians, jokers of all kinds, man-haters, and womanhaters, Epicures, and bon-vivants in general.Melancholy, Coleridge is arguing, is more dignified than happiness. I suspect this is a sense that most people have – that joy is, at root, a kind of idiot pleasure, the idiom of the lobotomy, a balloon just waiting to be popped. Sorrow is somehow more grown-up, because less illusioned. It feels more sincere, more authentic. As she prepared to write Adam Bede (1859), George Eliot copied the following from Thomas Carlyle’s Life of Oliver Cromwell into her notebook: ‘The quantity of sorrow he has, does it not mean withal the quantity of sympathy he has, the quantity of faculty and victory he shall yet have? Our sorrow is the inverted image of our nobleness.’Because it has some of the colouring of nobility, sadness is also, perhaps, more beautiful than happiness. Philip Larkin’s ‘Money’ (1973) ends:I listen to money singing. It’s like looking down From long French windows at a provincial town, The slums, the canal, the churches ornate and mad In the evening sun. It is intensely sad.It Is Intensely Sad would be a pretty good title for a study of Larkin’s verse as a whole. Of course, one reaction to this poem would be to say: ‘Wait just a minute, Phil: you don’t actually mean “it is intensely sad”. You mean “I am intensely sad”. The street, the church, the whole provincial town is doing just fine, thank you, and has no responsibility for your mournfulness, looking down from your long French windows.’ Such a reaction would not diminish Larkin’s achievement, either, for this is indeed the whole point of his poetry: to write, not about the slums, the canal or the church, but about the elegance of melancholy.Why on earth should melancholy be elegant – or attractive in any other way? On the face of it, it ought to be precisely the sort of thing that evolution breeds out of the race, a prime target for sexual deselection. What female would want to mate with a miserable partner when she could have a happy, smiling one instead? Put like that, of course, the question looks a little ridiculous; as if we’d really prefer to pair off with SpongeBob SquarePants instead of Morrissey. But why? Why would you rather spend time with the latter than the former?If depression is a foul miasma wreathing the brain, elegant sadness is more like a peacock’s tail, coloured in blue-gentian and rich marine greensIt was Charles Darwin, in The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals (1872), who noted that sadness manifested the same way in all cultures. For something so ubiquitous, it is tempting to venture an evolutionary explanation. Alas, the anthropological and evolutionary work in this area has focused almost entirely upon depression, which is not quite what we are talking about here. I can tell you with rather grim authority that the difference between elegant ennui and the black dog is like the difference between pleasant intoxication and typhus. Many evolutionary theories have been proposed for depression’s adaptive value, but no one has, so far as I am aware, tried to claim that it is enjoyable.If depression is a foul miasma wreathing the brain, elegant sadness is more like a peacock’s tail, coloured in blue-gentian and rich marine greens. Is it also universal? To this question, anthropology offers no definitive answer. Yet the condition certainly manifests itself in a suggestive array of cultures. It is the sadness to which the Japanese phrase mono no aware gestures (物の哀れ, literally ‘the beautiful sorrow of things’). It is the haunted simplicity of those musical traditions that spread from Africa into the New World as the Blues. It’s the mixture of strength, energy, pity and melancholy that Claude Lévi-Strauss found in Brazil, encapsulated in the title of his book about his travels there Tristes Tropiques (1955). It’s the insight of Vergil’s Aeneas, as he looks back over his troubled life and forward to troubles yet to some: sunt lacrimae rerum; there are tears in everything, said not mournfully nor hopelessly but as a paradoxical statement about the beauty of the world (Aeneid 1:462).It would be possible, of course, to construct a ‘cost benefit analysis’ of the sorts of sadness I am describing here. We might suggest that it is a signal that the individual in question has the strength, leisure and sensitivity to indulge in being sad. Saying so invokes what evolutionary scientists call ‘the handicap principle’, a hypothesis first framed by the Israeli evolutionary biologist Amotz Zahavi in 1975. The idea is that extravagant traits such as the highland deer’s massive antlers or the peacock’s tail are useful because they are so ostentatiously expensive, manifestly inconveniencing the owner. They are a way of saying: I’m so strong, my genes are so desirable, that I can afford to schlep about with this manifest – and, by the way, beautiful – disadvantage attached to my body.Sadness, according to this model, is a kind of conspicuous consumption. It takes more muscles to frown than smile, and maybe that’s the point. It signals ones capacity to squander a resource precisely by squandering it. Any fool can live and be happy. It takes greater strength to live and be sad.All the same, this analysis loses the most important aspect of this emotion; not that it costs, but that it is beautiful. Happy can be pretty, but some species of sad have access to beauties that happy can never know.

#Adam Robertsis a professor of English literature at Royal Holloway University and a science fiction author. His latest book is Twenty Trilli

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discorddrabbles · 2 years

Text

(About Cosmosauteur)

---

He hadn’t worked on a puppet body since Edwin’s, technically. Inaba, his little rabbit, didn’t count - a rabbit was different from a human, even if the general process was the same. But he remembered said process very clearly, he’d taken so much pride in what he’d done that there was no way he’d allow himself to forget.

It was too useful.

Moonjumper had intentionally withheld the fact that, technically, he’d have power over the body too - such was the nature of spinning your own magic to make an equally magical body - but he also had no intentions to pull that particular thread. Why would he? The spirit lived with somebody with ice magic, and Moonjumper was long done with ice magic. He’d already died once to ice, thank you very much.

He couldn’t be sure why he’d offered, Moonjumper thought, sorting through his gathered materials. Maybe he was going soft, maybe it was just that one October he’d drowned in guilt finally catching up to him. Hell, maybe he just felt bad about there being so many dead kids floating around that he wanted to do something about it, since his magic did seem to revolve very tightly around souls and the moving around thereof.

His materials to solve that ‘dead kids with no bodies’ problem, were... different, from what your average dollmaker would use. All from Subcon forest, as the forest itself could be considered a ghost - so spiritually and magically dense that merely the wood itself would probably skew any magical sensors, and the forest as a whole might very well give electronics a big double-middle-finger with how much energy the trees all gave off. Which is why Subcon wood was best for his dolls. Easy to possess, easy to sink into and wear like a nice thick jacket. Easy to enchant with all the bits and bobs a body might want to have. Even eating!

He’d never be 100% sure how ‘eating’ translated, flavorwise, but Edwin had certainly never complained of things tasting different to how he remembered, so perhaps the enchantment did it’s job perfectly. He could only hope. The body as a whole, magically, was rather complicated. Magic and spells and enchantments weaved together in a way that only somebody who could actually see what they were doing, could - spells wrapping around each other but never through, the magic weaved like a sweater. Delicate work, because magic wasn’t tangible, it was energy, and he was technically making his work look like swiss cheese - or it would look like swiss cheese if it didn’t look more like thread, to him, than a formless gathering of energy.

Enchantments to move, enchantments to make sure the boy could come and go as he pleased (those were complicated, and took a while to set properly - usually the point of these bodies was ‘soul goes in and never comes out’), enchantments for everything a body might need, including hydrophobia. Well, not technically hydrophobia specifically, but a layer of enchantments to aide in keeping dirt outside and not inside. The ‘eating’ bit was clever too, in his opinion. Subcon wood wasn’t alive, but neither was it technically dead - he liked to call them Schrodinger trees - so their enchantments had it so that food consumed would be broken down by internal layers of magic and processed into raw energy for the wood and enchantments themselves, and perhaps the ghost himself; Moonjumper wasn’t sure of the conversion rate, he just knew it worked.

Then again, maybe Subcon wood was self-sustaining and didn’t need the energy at all, in which case most of the converted energy might go to the ghost. He certainly didn’t know. Either way, the body survived (supposedly) off of a magical feedback loop of ‘wood generates energy, enchantments feed off energy, convert consumed food back into energy for the wood and the enchantments, ad nauseam.

Moonjumper was fairly sure he knew what the kid looked like. All those ‘Joker’ kids tended to look largely identical. Hopefully the kid didn’t have intentions of growing his hair out, because while Moonjumper was magical, he was no miracle worker. Growing Hair required yet more energy to generate all that wasted material, so it was easier on everyone if he just had the one length and let them figure out the rest. Extensions existed, after all. No magic needed!

It’d be a few days before it was done though. Even then, he’d want to look it all over for mistakes - the last thing he needed was another angry ice-witch after his ass for some dumb overblown mistake.

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rosesloveletters · 2 years

Text

The Archer.

pairing: Heath Ledger Joker x Reader

word count: 1,716

warnings: language, general anxiety, negative self depiction.

summary: Reader reflects upon their flaws and what J sees in them. Alternatively, reader is the polar opposite of J and struggles with accepting this.

notes: inspired by the taylor swift song 'the archer'. i think i wrote something similar to this in the past, but it's something i've been struggling with lately and i wanted to write it all down as some sort of self therapy. this fic only conveys a fraction of what i wanted it to, but i haven't written for J in a hot minute, so i did the best with what i had in me.

unedited.

Reclamation of spirit preceded J’s cognitive dissonance, yet the principle eluded him; far too many of the emotions you experienced passed right over J’s head, not by want or the desire to remain indifferent, but because he processed them much differently than you. J saw not what others appeared to be, but who they were, right down to the fundamental values each one of them clung to, for one reason or another. His painted visage masked himself so that his talent for uncovering the truth could not be reversed, never one to play fairly was he, but he never claimed difficulty seeing through those around him. From one fleeting glance, he perhaps knew you better than you had ever known yourself and it did not make sense to you, that if he could truthfully see you, what his fascination might be.

You did not fit properly within the mold of societal constraints your community of peers attempted to place the weight of upon your shoulders, that much was true, yet you protested not once to any of whom might hear. If the roles were reversed, you could not envision J making such a fuss, if your only grievance was how isolated you had let yourself become.

He thrived on his own, took root and established himself upon the fringes of society like tangled vines of ivy which clung vigorously to any solid structure it could climb upon. J sapped the energy out of all he encountered, drained them of their innocence and marveled at how quickly he could break them. He took what he needed, that which allowed him to grow, to survive, and left behind nothing but devastation. J was a parasite that leeched onto any unsuspecting host and bled them dry; you were no exception.

Or so you had thought.

You were different than him, some would say the two of you were polar opposites; the amount of critical thinking it would take on your part to reason with the intelligent part of your brain that warned you against people like J would be enough to blow a circuit. You were so far removed from his lifestyle that you came to no definitive conclusions as to what he saw in you. What kept him coming back for more? You were not afraid of the dark man whom you had taken for a lover, but some intrinsic need to keep quiet and not give a voice to your impeding thoughts or maybe it was self-preservation, kept you from asking him for an explanation each time the thought crossed your mind.

It was only your anxiety come to life, you repeated to yourself like a mantra. That was what anxiety felt like to you: waiting for that relief to come, the ascent to the top of that hill only to come plummeting back down to earth on the roller coaster ride of your life, except that drop never came. That feeling never faded; once you reached that pinnacle, the finish line extended and you had that much further to go. That feeling alone was enough to make anyone crazy… or at least turn them cruel, dark-hearted like the troubled antagonists that haunted your television screen who could somehow never win despite their best efforts to prove that the world they had been born into could never accept them because they were just too ahead of the curve.

‘Perhaps we all have our crosses to bear…’

“What’s eating ya, sweet cheeks?” His gaze bore through you like acid and the words themselves were like an arrow straight through your heart; like a skilled archer upon horseback J had once thing in common: you were the prey he was after.

Can you see right through me?

The words stuck in your throat as you tried to speak them, “I…what am I to you?”

There were speeches scrawled hastily on crumpled bits of paper ripped from the pages in your mind that you knew you could never tell him. You could not explain it in a way he would understand and you had no desire to try. You searched for his dark side and like the phases of the moon, he was ever-changing, but that celestial body unveiled herself for the whole world to see, if only after she was born anew. J himself was like the new moon: black as tar and invisible to the naked eye, yet he is there.

J understood what it meant to be different, but did he know how to love in spite of those differences?

Did he know how to love…?

Even if you knew how to love, you knew not how to hold onto someone like him. J was like the wild winds that whipped across your face amidst the rising storm carried on the dark, distant clouds. He alone could change your course of direction should he choose. He was the greatest force of nature for you to reckon with and it was a wonder that you did, but that was what it meant to be true to yourself. You would cut off your own nose to spite your face; you could hear him laughing like mad.

“What do ya wanna be to me?” his inflections sounded like gravel under tired and felt like sandpaper rubbing skin raw until it bled.

Everything.

“I don’t know,” you answered truthfully, “despite my better judgement, I care about you, J, and I’m a little offput that you seem to feel the same way about me.”

The man said nothing as the words sunk in, washing over him like dark waves carried on the current, but it was you who had been dragged under and he was merely a bystander idly watching as you coughed up salt water. He did not know what it meant but the implication was clear: you placed no value on yourself. You handled yourself without care because no one else had shown you what it was supposed to feel like. You might have been the easiest to understand, but you were the hardest to read. Your words were clear to him, but he still had to squint to read between the lines as though they were concealed in lingering layers of smoke and ash.

You felt like a fruit rind left out in the sun to rot and decompose, to return from when you had come, but even though you accepted your fate it still felt unceremoniously desolate. You were not lonely; you only wished you were afforded the attention you had seen others receive. You wanted to know what it felt like to be on the receiving end of that innate human connection that you had sought after for years and years. Your trust in the wicked led you down this path and you were desperate to climb out of the viper pit without being bitten.

“What makes ya think that?” J blinked slowly at you, like a cat lounging in the glare of the late afternoon sun. He knew better than to put words in your mouth and he certainly was not offering you a way out either. Pieces of the puzzle were beginning to fit together and he wondered if you were starting to see that not everything was so black and white. You wanted to matter to someone; you no longer wanted to think that if you were to cease to exist that no one would miss you.

But even more, you wanted to know why J would ever give a fuck how you felt, anyway.

“You keep coming back, right?” you asked rhetorically, “I guess you wouldn’t do that if you weren’t getting something you needed out of it.”

The tension in the air could cut like a knife and something within J’s stoic exterior snapped and one corner of his crimson lips twitched, the jagged scar tissue across one cheek pulling taut; he almost looked incredulous, “you think…I keep comin’ around just because you have somethin’ I need?”

You peered at him from across the room. Something had stirred within him, phantom emotion rising from the grave, “I don’t know, J. It doesn’t make sense to me any other way. Why would you have any interest in someone who has nothing in common with you?”

“No, sweets,” he snapped the nickname at you like a cobra striking venom into its prey, “I don’t take advantage of what is already mine.”

His.

If J could tell you what it was that kept him around you, he wouldn’t, and that was all right because even when you worried, he was there to calm your nerves. Your best friends had long become your greatest enemies and sometimes you feared that J would become one too. After all, who could you say had come into your life and not left out of the betterment of both of you? You could not remember the last time you had not clung so desperately to the ones you held dear out of terror that they would leave just as all those before had done. The most heart wrenching part of who you were was what you had grown to accept: you were on your own. There was no one coming to save you from yourself. The perception of you was not a reflection of the truth but still it tormented you, like a vengeful spirit.

You carried on, you concealed and most of all you did not speak of it; if no one else ever noticed then you had done the job well.

Make no mistake, you loved who you were, how could no one else?

You reached for him and J took you into his arms like all of those times before you had forgotten what it felt like to call him your home. Your face fit perfectly against his neck where the paint didn’t touch, right where you could taste the sweat on his skin and where he reeked of the man underneath, the one he kept hidden from anyone but you. His long, thick fingers dug into your hair at the back of your head and his right arm around your waist pressed you closer to him.

Heart to heart, being to being…who could stay with you like this, forever?

Who could stay?

You.

You could stay.

#heath ledger #heath ledger joker x reader #heath ledger joker #ledger joker #joker #the joker #the dark knight #the dark knight joker #joker x reader #biblio :: 📖

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fairymascot · 2 years

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have you caught up to the last eat bang kill tour? if you did, do you think they managed to salvage the characters or nah

i read it, yeah. alas, i was not impressed. started listing my issues with it and it turned into a bit of a novel, lmao, so i’m gonna stash it under a cut.

like... first of all, i'm tired of seeing harley in the damsel role. this is a near identical retread of the harley quinn & birds of prey comic miniseries, where harlivy's falling out is resolved through harley winding up in a near death situation and ivy heroically saving her. i didn't love it then and i don't love it now. it's only marginally less sexist to shove powerful women in damsel roles when other women are doing the rescue, and it's equally as painful to see women undergoing horrible torture for the sole purpose of evoking an emotional response in the reader -- yes, even if the payoff is lesbian romance. it's trite, cheap, and it feels innately disrespectful to harley's character. not to say she needs to be infallible always -- but even, for example, when she was joker's captive in the s1 finale, she came in with a goal, a plan, and fighting spirit. it was a pretty desperate situation, and he had most of the power, but she wasn't rendered as helpless and pitiful as she was in the comic finale, nor were we subjected to any gory, graphic details of her torment. i mean, gore is fine. violence is fine. i am not some delicate flower. but played like this, it just feels like torture porn.

on top of that, i was absolutely rolling my eyes at ivy's whole 'redemption arc'. first of all: it was written extremely stupidly. 'i'm mean to harley because of my emotional issues that all stem from my abusive dad, so i'm gonna go in my head and kill him. boom! normal now'. what a ridiculously reductive view of ivy's character and human psychology on the whole? like, killing your childhood abuser in your head gives you nothing. it does not magically solve all of your mental problems.

not to mention, while he may have been the root of her original trauma, ivy has so many other issues piled on that have nothing to do with him?? she's a social outcast, she can barely stand the company of other people while also extremely concerned about how she's perceived, she's scared of opening up and showing vulnerability, she's wishy washy and has a hard time making decisions about her future, etc etc. those are issues that are caused by more than just her dad-- there's her peers at school, her repressed sexuality, her (presumed) trauma and transformation at the hands of woodrue, the future she planned with kiteman blowing up in her face... so explain to me how going in her head and killing her dad is gonna solve all that. lmao.

also, just the way franklin went about it, 'ivy hallucinates harleen and goes into her memories with her while on the outside she just appears to suffer a massive brainfreeze' -- again, just a cheap retread of events from the show, and it barely even makes sense in this context because franklin just slapped em on willy nilly. HARLEY hallucinates harleen because she is her past self, and her consciousness was splintered when she became harley quinn, trapping her previous persona as some sort of ghost figment in her head. why would IVY hallucinate harleen. when has there been any indication of that happening. it's yet another part of franklin's approach to this whole series -- lazily recycling ideas, scenes, word-for-word lines from the show to make for a cool reference, without remotely grasping the logic behind those scenes or the purpose they originally served. like, genuinely, this woman Does Not Get It.

even ignoring how stupidly the 'redemption' was executed, though, the fact is... the very fact that ivy NEEDED a redemption was terrible characterization. that's not to say harley and ivy's relationship doesn't have issues they'll need to work on-- while she's already started on this path, ivy still needs to work on establishing boundaries, communicating her feelings clearly, and allowing herself to be vulnerable. harley's been working on her selfishness and recklessness, but that doesn't mean she's completely outgrown them. and neither of them have ever been in a healthy, equal relationship with someone who deeply loves them and is GOOD to them, which i'm sure will lead to some interesting stuff in season 3. but you know what issues they've NEVER had? ivy treating harley like she's human garbage! ivy belittling her at every turn, scolding her like she's a child, getting angry at every little thing she does, flat out ignoring her when harley tries to talk to her. this is not their dynamic, this is not who ivy is. when ivy in the comic looks at vixen and her gf and goes 'omg, this is what non toxic love looks like, i should be more like that!' all i can say is, fuck off. ivy knows what non toxic love is. it's her love for harley. franklin just totally destroyed those characters and their relationship for the sake of a halfassed, completely unnecessary two-minute redemption arc.

god, what an absolute waste of time.

#tldr HATED IT THANKS!#askbox #text #harlivy #eat bang kill tour #my rambles

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swaps55 · 2 years

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Loved your “dissertation” on that last ask lol and you mentioning Garrus as a friend figure for Sam in ME2 got me thinking about how Garrus must really be over Sam and Kaidan’s shit by the time he shows back up after Menae. Can you imagine being there for all the ME1 pining, THE HORIZON ENCOUNTER, picking up the pieces during Mars… poor long suffering Garrus the ultimate wingman

HAHA, thank you, I'm always game to info dump about Sam.

You know what I think is great about Garrus, is that when it comes to Kaidan and Sam I'm betting he's always about two steps behind.

On the SR-1? Ashley, Tali, Joker, and Liara are constantly face palming. Garrus the one asking what everyone is face palming about, because he just doesn't see it.

Then, of course, he isn't on Earth for the inquest in Sonata, so he completely misses them getting together and has to be brought up to speed, probably by Joker, who doesn't want to talk about any of it. I bet it's not until Tali comes aboard that he even gets the full story.

Now, HORIZON of course goes very terribly, and without Kaidan around during the Cerberus days to constantly look out for Sam, Garrus is suddenly confronted with just how huge a task it is to be Sam's friend. I don't think anyone understood how much Kaidan did for Sam until he wasn't there to do it. Sam is wonderful at looking out for the needs of other people. He is terrible about looking out for his own needs. Now everyone is looking at each other going, "Why is he broken, what the hell do we do?"

There will absolutely be a panicked phone call to Kaidan at one point, in which Garrus says, "Look. I know things are very complicated right now, but how do you get this asshole to eat? And stop falling down? And SLEEP?"

Garrus gets a front row seat for Sam's rather spectacular existential crisis, which has the benefit of making them very close, but of course also means he's the one tasked with keeping him from going over the edge. This is a very difficult task, poor guy.

(Garrus is also the one who always gets volunteered or voluntold to be Sam's drinking partner, which is a punishment in and of itself because A) biotic metabolism and B) Lazarus metabolism means that keeping up with him is going to end with a LOT of regrets, and also result in knowing MANY things about Sam he does not want to know, because Sam cannot keep a single thought to himself when he's drunk.)

And then of course Garrus MISSES everything that happens on Mars, so again he has to play catch-up.

I'm pretty sure that when Kaidan finally makes it back onto the Normandy, Garrus's response is, "Thank the SPIRITS. YOU take him. I need a NAP."

#swaps replies #anonymous #'shoot it again sam' shepard #i won't lie i cannot wait to write ME2 stuff #i have so much work to do on creating a structure for that story #but i cannot WAIT

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leonicscorpio · 3 years

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Batboy Headcanons because I made this for me but you all can enjoy this too if want. (May contain mild NSFW)

Dick:

Has a weird relationship with unwanted gaze and the attention he receives because of his physique. He genuinely likes the attention but he draws the line when people start getting touchy. Just because he's shirtless working out doesn't mean he gave you consent to touch him.

Has good dieting skills but he's in his mid-late 20's and his metabolism has 0 signs of slowing down. He once ate a whole xl bag of M&M's in front of Steph and Babs and both said they wanted to murder him because he won't gain a pound.

Dick has ADHD and I'm sorry if you don't think otherwise. He has hyperactive type ADHD and while he's gotten better at controlling his symptoms he still stims stretching and flexing his arms and shaking his arms.

While not so much in Gotham, Dick is very politically active and volunteers at voter registration and working with organizations with the mission of police demilitarization in Blüdhaven.

Dick is a very sexually driven individual. However, I don't think it's entirely healthy. His ADHD also comes into play with this but Dick just needs to have a release at least twice a day or he'll feel physically sick.

I don't know if you all have seen male gymnasts. But Dick, like the rest of them, has FREAKSISHLY large biceps. Everyone talks about Dick has the best ass in the bat family and while Jason may be larger and stronger, Dick has the best physique.

Dick's apartment is littered with sticky notes in places such as the fridge/in front of his computer. If it's not written down and in a place where he can't ignore it, it's not going to get done.

I'm sorry I know everyone says his birthday is in March but I have to go to the older Nightwing comics and say his Birthday is December 1st. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn't give off Sagittarius energy. You can't. I respect you but you can't look at that and tell me that man isn't a Sagittarius or has super heavy Sag in his birth chart.

Dick's at home doing nothing but chilling? You best believe he's gonna be shirts off, tits out, and rocking some blue flannel PJ's.

Dick is currently the only member of the family asides from Barbara who is regularly attending therapy. And he actively encourages each of his brothers and sisters to go every time.

After his Agent 37 days. He sits down with Jason and talks about having to use a gun and how hard it was. And how having to kill people has affected him. When he had to kill the KGBeast (Agent 37 days he snapped his neck) I headcanon Dick just trauma v*mit*d. Jason hugged him and just consoled him.

It's canon that Dick has anger issues but to me, it's not explored or talked about enough and not a lot of people like to talk about it. Dick is very much the 'if I ignore it it'll go away' type when it comes to his anger and he can brush most insults or harassment off fine enough. But when he breaks, he makes Jason look like a saint. I'm talking slamming you into a wall and screaming in your face angry. He'll be profusely apologetic afterward but still.

Despite popular belief, I don't think he's that bad of a cook. He's just not very experimentative. He can follow a recipe and does look at some guides. But to me, Dick Grayson just is that guy who is like Chicken veggies and rice are a meal that I can cook 4-6 times a week.

Dick has a slight fear of dentists. He doesn't have bad teeth and has good dental health. He just doesn't like the idea of a drill going in his mouth and the few times Bruce has to take him to a dentist he had a panic attack every time.

Everyone lives for the fics where Jason beats the shit out of Tim and everyone is just like lol well Bruce and Dick just forgives him. No. When Dick found out it was Jason who beat Tim to the ground, Dick was literally seething and told Jason "Pick on someone your own size or else I'll make you wish you back in that f'ing coffin."

Dick's favorite foods (some based in Canon*): Milk Chocolate*, Cereal*, Asparagus, Bananas, Banana flavored candy, Hawaiian Pizza* (suffer its canon) Rum, thanksgiving Turkey.

Jason:

He may be the self-diagnosed black sheep (rightfully so) of the family, but Jason does genuinely love spending time with his siblings. Whether it be sharing memes with them on social media or just randomly showing up where they are and abducting them to go get ice cream/coffee/snacks.

He'd probably attempt to harm you if you told him this to his face. But he is the closest acting to Bruce out of all of the family. In terms of mannerisms and inherent warmth and kindness behind a dark façade.

Has two moods: either exceptionally, almost neat-freak levels of clean, or his life is completely falling apart and Jason can't tell you for sure what color his floors are because there's so much stuff scattered about.

Despite their initial hatred of each other, Jason truly feels closest to Tim and Tim is the only person asides from maybe Barbra who he can just talk to without feeling any judgment.

Jason only smokes when he's extremely nervous about an operation or a hit. For those who don't know criminal justice cigarettes are the fastest way to get genetic material on someone. That being said he does still like to smoke occasionally.

Me, plus a lot of people give him this sort of 'Lazarus Rage' as I like to call it. When he's in the heat of a mission or if he's getting upset/angry his vision will get blurred with green, and it feeds on his anger and just gets perpetually harder to contain until he releases it. Jason has gotten much better at controlling it. But as he will tell Tim or Babs, he's "seeing green" which means they need to be careful because Jason could kill.

Everyone says Dick is the mother hen. I see you, I accept you, but let me raise you. Jason came to realize that he died because of his rash decision to go after The Joker alone. If Jason finds any of his siblings out acting alone, or even at the very least without Oracle. Jason WILL forcefully interject himself and ask them what the fuck they think their doing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Trying to get close to Jason is hard. He will degrade you can attempt to try to get you to hate him before he lets you in (that cheeky Tsun of him)

He genuinely cares for and supports all of his siblings but has been rough on them needlessly. But if Bruce is being the distant or absent parent he is, you better believe if any of the siblings drops him a text or a call, Jason will be there in a heartbeat.

He's the most physically powerful of the whole Bat Family. You don't understand because of his time in the League, his time with the All-Caste, and having abused Venom for a time, he can snap an arm bone like it's a carrot with little effort.

Everyone in the family likes dogs and goes out of their way to gush over a dog, but Jason takes it to a whole new level. And even when he's masked up dogs just gravitate to Jason.

Can and has grown a beard in a matter of a few days. He usually likes to be clean shaven but some days he likes to wear a beard just to throw everyone off.

One time him, Steph, Tim, and Duke all went to a restaurant (Red Robin lol) and the waitress got his order wrong and his burger had raw tomatoes on it, Jason took the tomatoes off and ate it while looking absolutely miserable. Tim: Jay why did you eat that you didn't have to you know you could have asked the server to fix your burger. Jason, almost in tears: "She works really hard and she tried and I'm a scary dude I don't want to make her upset.." Duke: "... Jason you literally shot at a cop for looking at you funny the other day. But you're afraid of upsetting a waitress?!? I mean ACAB but dude.. "

Jason's happiest big brother moment™ was taking Tim and Damian to the shooting range and watching them both get their first bullseye.

You can't tell me Jason Todd was into the Emo/Screamo/Warped-Tour Scene. His favorite bands/Albums in no particular order, That's the Spirit (Literally the whole album is Jason Themed and I'm gonna die on this hill) & Sempiternal by Bring me the Horizon, Digital Renegade & Everyone's Safe in the Treehouse by I See Stars, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways by Crown the Empire,

Jason Todd's favorite foods: (Also some based in Canon*) Burgers, Chili Dogs*, Lager-style beers, Freshly baked bread*, Neopolitan ice cream, grilled corn, and Chinese Chicken noodle soup with Duck.

Tim:

This boy *slaps car roof* gives off so much asexual energy. I know New 52 exists but I just feel like Tim is the person who really, REALLY has to trust you and like you before he's sexually active with you.

HYPERFIXATES. You also can't tell me Tim isn't on the spectrum/or has ADHD.

Is the only member of the family who regularly checks up on Jason and talks to him every day via text message. The two are memelords together and love to play pranks on the other members.

While Dick may give the most frequent hugs and Jason gives the tightest, most secure hugs, Tim's hugs are always the warmest and make you just feel good.

Tim's birthday is July 19th. Meaning he's a Cancer. Let that sink in.. no, really let that information just soak. (Note I have nothing against Cancer women, cancer men however....)

All of the bat boys really struggle with talking about their feelings. Dick will manipulate you into changing the subject via twisting it to be about you, Jason will just cut you off or will ignore you, Damian will deflect everything and harass you until you stop, Tim however, Tim is very emotional and while he's very calculated about who he's emotional with, he's not afraid to break down and cry if he trusts you.

Everyone who says he's the level headed Robin haha how's it feel to be WRONG. Tim is at best the least functional college student and at worst a lemming. 'No Tim, coffee isn't a meal I'm going to make you some food or I'm going to stick you in a room with Damian for an hour.' Richard (Dick) John Grayson.

People overblow how addicted to caffeine Tim is. But it's true. Just overblown. You can talk to him before he's had his caffeine just don't expect him to be anything but curt and blunt.

Everyone says Jason would be the worst at texting but it's Tim. He's the master of leaving you on read. While Jason may do it on purpose, Tim is just really bad at texting people and while he always will read your messages he forgets to respond unless it's really funny or really pressing.

Everyone sees Tim as this bean pole super skinny boy Robin. Tim may not be stacked like Dick or a freaking tank like Jason, but Tim is NOT super skinny. He's just as muscular and likes to work out as anyone, but he just is super lean, so he looks a lot bigger and his muscles are more defined because of how thin his skin is. He has those almost disgusting spider veins on his arm. Kind of gross to look at, but he's the dream of any nurse. This means Tim is also the king of accidentally sending/posting thirst traps.

He really is the glue of the Bat Family. Everyone kidnaps Tim for 'Tim Time'.

Dick likes to spar with and in general just hang out with Tim. Tim tried to teach Dick how to skateboard and you'd think the boy who mastered the trapeze would know how to skateboard but you'd be wrong.

Babs and Tim always hang out and talk about computer stuff and Babs knows she can vent to Tim about anything and he won't say a word.

Tim and Steph were a thing for a while and even though they're just friends now, they still are very close and the two have a very deep bond, liking to shop with each other and watch movies,

Cass just loves to be around Tim because of how calming he is but also she knows she can spar with him AND Cass can also skateboard with Tim too.

Even though him and Damian are always fighting, the two still end up being together and have this unspoken bond. They work great together on a team but other than that they still hate each other.

And while everyone still is hesitant around Jason, and despite the fact that Jason literally beat Tim to within an inch of his life, AND would still trigger Tim and taunt him about it. The two have this odd closeness that rivals even him and Steph. Tim will always be the first to bat for Jason. Jason was Tim's Robin. And despite the fact Jason literally beat it into Tim's head to "never meet your heroes." Tim will always be there for Jason should he ask. The two are just close. And it's hard to describe. Bruce has caught Tim and Jason just platonically sleeping next to each other or just doing their own things shoulder to shoulder silently, just enjoying each other's company.

Tim and Duke also have a really positive relationship with one another and the two can stay up all night just talking about anything. Their minds just mesh well together. The two also love to team up and prank the other members of the Batman Family.

Tim's favorite ASMR/Stim? Watching those Tik Toks of people cleaning computers or cleaning phones. The sound of an air duster is like music to his ears and if any of the Bats need their technology cleaned it secretly makes Tim so happy to help them.

Wear his hair up or wear his hair down? It depends! While Tim likes his long hair he also has gotten plenty of compliments for his short hair and likes to style it to suit any occasion.

My one pet-peeve with Tim is that he probably is that person who lets his privilege show from time to time. While he was essentially raised to just sit down, shut up, and be a perfect trophy son to the Drake's. The Drake's were in the same tax bracket as Bruce and Tim definitely was a rich kid. He never means to come across as spoiled, but sometimes Jason will give him harsh looks if Tim just throws away food he doesn't like or says things like Chipotle is 'poor people food'

Tim Drake's favorite foods (you know by now*) Donuts*, Shallot and Artichoke Pizza with Canadian Bacon* (odd choice but it could work) Artichokes in general are his favorite vegetable, Strawberries, and Beef Pho.

Damian:

I headcanon that he has the worst teeth of all of the Bat Boys and he actually has to use lingual braces. (Hence why you can't see his braces)

Canonically is a very good artist and while him and Tim don't get along, Tim introduced Damian to digital art and gave him a photoshop pack and a nice tablet for his birthday one year and Damian loved it so much.

Damian is a capricorn and I will die on this hill. A January capricorn too.

Now you want a good chef? You've got Damian. Having converted to veganism Damian has had to get creative whenever he goes out to eat so he tends to like to eat more home cooked foods. Damian loves all matters of mushrooms, eggplant, and bell peppers.

Damian really struggles the most with his wanting to just be a normal kid. Despite the fact he will dismiss you for it, anytime he gets to spend at Gotham Academy with Jon and the rest of the kids he's naturally the happiest.

Damian LOVES to give gifts. He loves the look on people's faces when they are shocked when they actually get something from Damian.

Despite the fact that he's been traumatized from both his times with Ra's and Talia as well as with Bruce. He just wants Bruce and Talia to be together because he loves them both equally.

While he's the least flexible and least gymnastic of the Robins do let your guard down around him. He is the fastest runner and the guy is rivaled only by Jason in terms of lethality.

So someone (Jason Todd & Duke Thomas) introduced Damian to trap music and ever since anytime his phone gets stolen people will be shocked to find he's listening to some combination of Lil' Yachty, X, Kendrick Lamar, Wiz, and Kodak.

If any random person tries to hug Damian he'll immediately push them away, he'll bitch and moan about just about anyone hugging him other than Bruce & Dick.

Damian loves to go to the beach/the ocean. He just thinks it's so vast and he loves the brineness of the air. Also being half white, quarter middle-eastern and quarter Chinese (Yes everyone forgets Talia is half Chinese) Damian gets DARK. And although he's just okay as a swimmer he still likes bogeyboarding and eventually wants to learn how to surf.

I'm genuinely afraid once Puberty is done with this kid and everyone in the family is. He has Bruce Wayne AND Talia Al-Ghouls genes and those are two SEXY human beings. Damian's gonna grow a beard one day and people aren't going to know how to act.

Damian secretly plays Fortnight and not even Jon knows. He doesn't want to get shamed. He'd rather lose a match and ruin his streaks than deal with the shame of anyone in that family finding out he plays Fortnight.

Damian Wayne's favorite foods (canon*) Cereal*, Avocados, Grilled Tempeh, his mom's Tabbouleh, Mushroom Tacos, and Vegan Sushi rolls, and grape juice.

Duke Thomas

Duke is like, freakishly good with a piano, and he picked it up naturally!

Also everyone says Tim brews the best pot of coffee in the Bat Family, cue to everyone's surprise when Tim was sick one day and couldn't make a pot. Only to find the coffee was freaking amazing. Duke didn't take any credit at first until Alfred let it slip that Duke was the one who brewed the pot.

Duke being the only Meta of the family originally thought he was the double-token because he was a Meta and a black boy. Needless to say his fears were seriously unfounded the moment he got to know everyone.

Although he somewhat fears Jason and his temper initially, he and Jason have one of the closest relationships in the family. If Tim isn't around to bat for Jason, Duke will happily take his spot. The two work on each other's bikes and grew to share the same taste in music.

Duke uses his Photokenetic powers as a force for good and for shenanigans. Jason wants to play a prank on Dick and Damian while Dick is reading Damian a story? Duke will hide Jason in the shadows and will cover up his shadow. Alfred dropped something in the dark? You better believe Duke will find it in 3 seconds or less.

Duke makes it a point to visit his parents every weekend to talk to them. Although they are making some progress in their recoveries, it's still slow going. Eventually, he starts bringing members of the family to see his parents. It started with Cass, then Jason, and the rest followed suit.

Duke loves playing video games with Damian and even helps Damian beat some tougher levels when Damian is about to rage and destroy the console.

Duke is into Magic the Gathering and you cannot tell me otherwise. Duke also is the DM for the Bat Kids annual D&D games. I can and will make a D&D Batfam Headcanons if asked.

Loves Pho just as much as Cass and Tim and they all call it a date night every now and then where they can go to a hole in the wall pho place. It's really a secret between the three of them.

DUKE THOMAS IS THE BEST SWIMMER OF THE BAT BOYS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. HE JUST THRIVES IN THE WATER.

Finding out his birth father is a supervillain was really tough for him. He went into a shell for a little bit afterwards. Cass and Steph were there to help talk him out of his funk.

Duke Thomas's favorite foods (lol what canon DC hasn't acknowleged our boy in a while..) Chicken Pho, Thai Iced Tea, Papaya, Crab Cakes, Italian Hoagies, his mom's Lemon Poundcake, mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I hope y'all enjoyed! Up next (eventually) will be the Bat Girls!

#Dick Grayson #Batfam #Batboys #Jason Todd #Tim Drake #Damian Wayne #Duke Thomas #Bruce Wayne #Barbara Gordon #Cassandra Cain #Stephanie Brown #Headcanons #Slight OOC but hey If DC can't stay in character neither should I

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blookmallow · 3 years

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Can you do a rating on child animatronics like you did with the clowns

i sure can

welcome to animatronic nightmare preschool

theres a trend ive discussed about spirit before where all their female animatronics tend to be either the “old hag” type, or “creepy little girl” - and now that im thinking about it i actually couldn’t think of any boy characters ive ever seen. i dont know why this is exactly. theres something to analyze there but im not really sure what it is. i found a few but almost ALL of them are little girls. i dont know what to say about this but i did notice it

there IS a boy in this group though:

ring around the rosie

enter the ritual

just some nice kids having a fun time. it may be cliché at this point but i love the “spooky nursery rhyme” trope anyway (and y’know, ring around the rosie was already creepy to begin with. im not sure if the theory that it’s really about the black plague is actually true but its still highly questionable to include the line “ashes, ashes, we all fall down” in a childrens rhyme with no explanation either way)

for some reason the fact that none of them have hands and its just their sleeves tied together is really funny to me and i dont know why. they also dont have feet and im not sure if its a technical limitation for convenience purposes or if they’re supposed to be little ghost children but it definitely comes across like they’re little ghost children who tied their sleeves together to try to feel like they’re holding hands which is very cute. 10/10 big fan of this one

i already mentioned harriet hustle in this post, shes fantastic

angeline

i LOVE this one shes SO cute

i dont really understand how she's supposed to be scary, the description is like "she'll scare the lights out of your guests" or w/e but like, she's just. a kid who can see ghosts. she herself isn't even a ghost. i like her id adopt her i think she'd be a fun addition to a graveyard scene 10/10

abandoned annie

ok technically this one is a doll but im counting her anyway, shes one of my FAVORITE spirit animatronics bc A) i love creepy dolls B) shes cute and most importantly C) her entire fucking face unhinges i need y’all to watch the video on this one its so good 12/10 ive said this before but animatronics that do something completely fucking unexpected are my absolute favorite

broken girl

completely batshit. horrifying. shes actually initially standing upright and then snaps backward and screams and the image does not do it justice i highly recommend the video for this one. not much there as a Character but as “really effective way to scare the shit out of someone” its, i would imagine, incredibly effective. 9/10

there’s also menacing molly who looks similar and has the same kind of “facing away from you but then snaps backward” scare but is on a swing and sings “I see dead people, I see ghosts 💖i see the things that hate you the most” before she does her jumpscare which is incredibly funny to me

double trouble

creepy little girl trope meets creepy twins trope, at first glance i thought this was just like, discount grady twins (which it looks like they also have, in blatant knockoff form. they’re uh, not good) but it looks like their description backstory is that they killed their mother and disappeared with their rumored-insane father so its slightly different. one of their phrases is “daddy says we have to play outside :( he doesnt want any more blood on the floor” and i love it

they have a pretty good sense of personality and character to them even if its not necessarily groundbreaking. 7/10

ellie hatchet

i love this one bc so many of the creepy little girl animatronics are just pretty much standing there being creepy but not ellie. she’s fucking DONE with all of you. you come near her she will swing an axe at your face. 6/10 not really a big stand out but i appreciate her undying rage

lunging lily

shes spooky. she jumps out at you. thats about it. i dont really have anything to say about this one. that sure is a creepy little girl that jumpscares you. i like that she goes “help me... help me...” before she jumps out but i feel like it would be hard to get the timing right for that to actually work as a lure to make guests curious where the sound’s coming from since most of these are motion activated. anyway 6/10 shes just not very interesting

johnny punk

one of the rare boy characters, i have actually seen him in store and just completely forgot about him because he was that uninteresting. he doesn’t really do much and his backstory on site is just like, “He's got a nice house, loving parents and a severe attitude problem.”

like this isn’t an undead child back for revenge against those who wronged him or a crazed circus runaway or anything. he’s just a bratty kid. hes like a 13 year old who just saw Joker and has decided to make it his entire personality. this comes across less as a threatening figure and more just like some shitty kid who thinks he’s cool. i glanced at the comments on the wiki page and it turns out absolutely everyone hates him which is completely hilarious to me

2/10 nobody likes you johnny go do your homework and apologize to your mother

i also found limb eating zombie boy, who is considerably better

gross. bloody. would probably be pretty effective if you had him like, placed among some boxes or something so people dont see him at first and aren’t expecting him there. pretty standard zombie. i dont have much to say. He’s Fine. 6/10

mommy’s favorite

ive seen this one in the stores several times, I think we have her there now, and i just don’t. get it? she just moves back and forth with the “shhh” gesture and it’s like, ok, she’s vaguely creepy, but what’s going on here. she just says “don’t wake my mommy! she’s been sleeping for a long time!” so i guess the implication is that her mother is dead and she doesn’t understand, which is just sad rather than scary. the description says she makes mommy’s tea just how she likes it with five drops from the special skull bottle, which could imply she killed her mom, which would make more sense as a horror character, but if that’s How Mommy Likes It that implies the mother instructed her daughter to unknowingly poison her, which is horrifying but in a way darker sense than a spooky halloween prop lmfao

anyway if i have to go digging into descriptions to try to figure out what this character is or what shes supposed to be or anything i just dont feel like its a very effective character design. and i did read it and i still dont really get it. 2/10 i just feel like im missing something here

anyway there’s a bunch more variations of “scary possessed child” that are all basically the same, so im just gonna close this out with:

swinging skeletal boy

allo there, guvna

look at this dapper little victorian child im gonna cry he’s so cute

he just swings but has this surprisingly endearing soft little voice which COMPLETELY contrasts the weird shit he actually says. hes this precious little skeleton kid with a sweet little voice who goes “your skin is so nice :) can i have it? haha. that’s okay. I’ll take it when you’re sleeping”

absolutely love animatronics with that “wait WHAT did that thing just say” factor to them i love this guy 11/10 good boy my new son

i would also like to mention that people are also continuing to dunk on johnny punk in this guy’s comment section too fsadkflj people hate that shitty joker kid so much their hatred has bled into other completely unrelated swinging children

#spirit halloween #spirit animatronics #halloween #halloween animatronics #pinned

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souvenirsofsurgery · 3 years

Text

monty’s horror movie list

no one follows me for this but i’m back in my horror movie obsession era so here we go. some of them are good, some of them are bad (but I love them), and some of them are kind of unacceptable, like, morally tbh, I’m sorry

anyway, in no particular order:

mother!: I just watched this one today so it’s on my mind. get ready to be stressed out by deeply uncomfortable social situations for like, the first hour and a half and then genuinely disturbed for the last twenty minutes. i finished this and then sat in my room mouthing “what the fuck, what the fuck”. v good, 10/10

Orphan: What if you adopted a kid but they sucked?

Absentia: I was really impressed, cause this was like a low-budget, crowd funded movie but it’s so so good. This one is about a woman whose husband went missing years ago, a creepy tunnel, and family relationships. V quiet and sad

Possum: Not very much happens in this movie for a long time but the atmosphere is so good, and it’s genuinely creepy. The ending also made me so uncomfortable I almost couldn’t watch it, so there’s that

The Wolf House: Incredible unsettling stop-motion animation, and I’m a sucker for good animation. Makes more sense if you know a little Chilean history, but it’s interesting even without that context

Amityville: It’s About Time: Jumping right from that foreign arthouse film into cheesy schlock, what if a clock made people evil and fucked up?

Hell House LLC: More! Schlock! This is a fake documentary/found footage movie about people trying to make a haunted house in an old hotel... but what if it was haunted for real??

Host (the 2020 shudder original): Unfriended if it was good

Hereditary: Made me sad :( This was one of the first movies to genuinely scare me in a while, and my sister-in-law won’t even let anyone talk to her about it. The story about a family dealing with grief and complicated relationships is also just so interesting to me, this one’s in my top 10

Anything for Jackson: Reverse possession movie: they try to put a spirit IN someone! Hell yeah. So many good, weird ghosts in here, I love some good, weird ghosts

13 Ghosts: (the early 2000s remake) Speaking of good weird ghosts. What if your estranged uncle died and left you a house but there was a ghost jail in the basement? I just rewatched this movie with my little brother and remembered how much I love it. Very schlocky, Matthew Lillard’s acting is off the fucking walls and I love it, why does he act like that??

Kindred: One of the only “is it in her head, or is it real?” movies where I actually really wasn’t sure. It’s about a woman whose husband dies right before she’s about to give birth, so she ends up staying with his family and slowly starts to question their motives

Parents: What if you were just a little kid and you started to suspect your parents were eating people?

Basket Case: I’m not crying over a B movie, I’m not crying over a B movie. In this one, two conjoined twins are surgically separated against their wills, with one of them getting thrown in the trash. As adults, they start hunting down the doctors who did it to them

The Poughkeepsie Tapes: Very depressing fake documentary about a serial killer. Just fucked up and sad

The Taking of Deborah Logan: One of the few found footage movies that I think is actually good. A small documentary crew goes to film a woman and her aging mother who’s suffering from dementia, but they start to think that... huh, maybe this is something a little worse than dementia...

Ju-On: The Grudge (the original Japanese one): this movie just freaks me out, I don’t like how Kayako moves around, I don’t like the sounds she makes, and I don’t like her weird little son

The Ring (the American remake): I saw this movie when I was like 8 bc someone recorded it over the Willy Wonka VHS I’d gotten from the thrift store, and I’ve been fucked up ever since. In it, a woman sees a cursed tape that will make you die in seven days, and has to try and figure out how to save herself before then. GREAT atmosphere, very creepy

Sadako Vs Kayako: What if the girl from the Grudge and the girl from the Ring fought each other? Hell yeah. Plus, love that a ghost hunter comes to help with the situation and he’s got a random mean little girl with him. People are like “why is she here?” and he’s just like “she’s my associate” okay?? Where did she come from??? I’m obsessed with this movie

The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: A classic. Rancid, nasty atmosphere, just feels gross, 10/10

Society: Rich people suck so so bad and are very fucked up

House of 1000 Corpses: I love this movie and I’m sorry, its just some disgusting, campy fun. Like, what if your car broke down the night before halloween and ended up in a house with some terrible (but very entertaining) people?

Oculus: The idea of being a little kid, stuck in the house while your parents are slowly losing it, or potentially being possessed by something evil, is really scary to me. This movie does it so well. It moves back and forth from the main characters going through that in their childhoods, to them as adults, back in the house where it happened, and it’s so so good

Hellraiser: You tell me it’s about the blurry line between pleasure and pain and I watch it. The designs for the cenobites are so good. I like this first one a lot, but I also really enjoy the second one bc the torture dimension looks like MC Escher designed it and it’s sick as hell

The Others: This is one of my favorite, like, classic haunted house kind of movie. A mother keeps her kids inside an old mansion, with all the curtains drawn, because they have an illness that means they can’t go in the sunlight. Very, very creepy

The Blair Witch Project: This one just feels so real, I’ve never seen another found footage movie that reached this level. The actors knocked it out of the park, how am I so freaked out just by a couple of people wandering around the woods? It’s the blueprint, honestly

A Nightmare on Elm Street: You guys know this one, he gets you in your dreams! Probably my favorite of the classic slashers, I love some good old practical effects. my brother actually just bought me the WHOLE box set for my birthday so I’m gonna start working though the ones I haven’t seen yet

Jennifer’s Body: What if your best friend, who you have a very homoerotic relationship with, started eating dudes? Iconic. No, but seriously, this movie has a lot more going on than you might think

House of Wax (the 2000s remake): Bad, but so good. It’s really got that uncanny valley thing going on, love that fucked up wax museum

Ichi the Killer: Pretty unacceptable, I can’t in good conscience tell you to watch this movie, but it’s definitely an experience. Very very very violent, like super violent, but in the wildest fucking ways. Basically, what if you were a masochistic Yakuza member with a weird joker mouth and you just wanted a sadistic vigilante to beat the absolute shit out of you? Anyway, I think there’s something wrong with Takashi Miike and probably also me

Black Christmas: This is one of the og og slashers. It’s about girls getting killed in a sorority house, but surprisingly it’s like, not really an exploitation film, and I really like the characters. Good, unsettling killer, too

The Baby: WEIRD. Weird and uncomfortable. I’m not trying to kink shame anyone when I say this, but it’s probably definitely a fetish thing. In it, a social worker takes on the case of a family with an adult son who they’re claiming has the mind of a baby. This one’s probably kind of unacceptable too, to be honest with you

#horror #horror movies #horror movie recs

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