#Crowbar Kin

[kincalling]

Hello, I am Crowbar from Homestuck. I am a fictive looking for the other members from my gang, The Felt. Members of the Midnight Crew are also welcomed to interact, as long as there is no bad blood. Doubles are also welcome.

Our body age is 22 so other adults are preferred. We also have many other Intermission characters in our system, but I will spare this call from that lengthy list.

Interact with this post and I will reach out. - 7

🃏

#crowbar kin #homestuck kin #canon calls

[hazyaltcare]

A moodboard for a Crowbar (Homestuck) who was a lot closer to the Felt than in canon and viewed the Handmaid as their daughter, but never did anything to stop Doc Scratch from abusing her because they were afraid of what Doc Scratch would do if they tried.

Doc Scratch & Handmaid art is by @/chubsintubs-blog on tumblr.

Crowbar art is by @/2o0gun on tumblr.

(Hazyaltcare claims no affiliation with either of these artists. Please support their work!)

Mod Haze (🧨Tate - Handmaid shift)

#fictionkin #homestuck kin #crowbar kin #crowbar 07 kin #crowbar 7 kin #doc scratch kin #the handmaid kin #red #green #moodboard #🧨 #mod haze #tw bruises #tw abuse #tw physical abuse #tw blood

[hskinhome]

hey. crowbar here. could i get a tarot reading for how doc scratch died? i know there was some kind of plan for it and i know i was there, but little else. thank y all for your help.

Hey! Putting this under the cut for the trigger warning.

So I pulled the Star reversed for this. My immediate impression was that Doc Scratch took himself out to keep anyone else from doing it against his plans, but you would know best. As I've said before, I'm a person on the internet - you have the timeline and the memories.

#homestuck #homestuck kin #tarot #suicide tw #doc scratch kin #crowbar kin #mod meu

[elucubrare]

Doctor Valeris gave a quick, cool press of the hand, and gestured me to a chair. “Tell me what happened,” she said, with no further preamble. I closed my eyes — on the insides of my eyelids danced scenes of glory and conquest, as they had for the past three weeks - and tilted my head back. “I’d hired out as a guard to an archaeologist up in the steppes. We spent a week riding around barrows, with nothing more than a couple of wolves to bother us. Then he reread a text or something, and pointed us further north. Have you been up there, doctor? Probably not. It’s so big. The sky, sure, but everything. No trees for a hundred miles, just you and the horse and a few mounds where no one alive has walked for three hundred years, and the wind. I remember there was one tree, though, where it shouldn’t be. It was the tallest thing there, and it felt like a mountain. An oak, tall and straight despite the wind that had scoured anything taller than a barberry bush off the face of the world. The archaeologist bent and scraped some earth off a rock between its roots. He pulled a crowbar off his horse’s equipment and pried it up. ‘After you,’ he said, and I went down. That’s when the ghost entered me.” The doctor nodded. “Let me read the statement back to you. ‘I had been entombed under the strength of oak for centuries. I had begun to fear that I would never again feel a horse surge into a gallop under me, or the wind in my hair; that I had failed the ritual; that the promises of the gods were naught but lies.’” She paused. A muscle in my jaw clenched and then relaxed, but I stayed quiet. “’At last there came a breath of fresh air: a wind from the outside, and with it, a bright spirit. Ah, I thought, the gods spoke true. I am fortunate indeed. She is my kin, and she will serve me well. She is thrice bound to me.’” The doctor waited for a response. “That’s not what I said,” I told her, firmly. “No,” Valeris responded. “But it’s what I heard."

#story fragments

[theloversarcana]

Random Ann headcanons because I’m bored

♡An absolute menace while driving, please don’t put her behind the wheel

♡(She has a lot of road rage and is pretty reckless when it comes to driving)

♡Is very scared of ghosts but Shiho keeps trying to get her to use a ouija board in old abandoned buildings

♡Has breakdowns often and can immediately be calmed down by the promise of Ben&Jerrys Phish Food ice cream

♡On that note, is a massive crybaby

♡Beautiful Princess Disorder (ifykyk)

♡Has to wear fake eyelashes 24/7 and feels naked without them

♡When she has enough energy to do makeup but not enough to do a full face her essentials are: winged eyeliner, fake lashes+mascara, blush, a red lip and her fav Fenty highlighter (Diamond Bomb in Rosé Rave)

♡Her parents are rich and she has expensive taste in most things, constantly tries to give her friends money and buy them things but they always refuse

♡(As she gets older her parents slowly stop sending her money and she has to learn to fend for herself)

♡Flips back and forth between “I am the most beautiful person in the world” and “I am so ugly I hate myself and I want to break every mirror in my house” very often

♡Has an absurdly large collection of candles

♡Is very indecisive (and picky) about her signature fragrance. Has tried many, many perfumes but still hasn’t found the perfect one so she smells different almost every day

♡Really bad ADHD, has medication but always forgets to take it

♡Her absolute fav color is red and she has to have everything in red. Pink is second but red will always be #1

♡Sanrio girlie through and through

♡Loves binging shitty reality tv shows like Too Hot to Handle, Jersey Shore, Say Yes to the Dress, and any Gordon Ramsey shows

♡Her guilty pleasure food is Chik-Fil-A (pretending Japan has it)

♡Her main music taste is 2000s-2010s pop (Ke$ha, Britney Spears, etc) but has a very large variety of music she likes

♡Her go-to breakdown song is What Was I Made For? by Billie Eilish (also she cried at least 4 times during the Barbie movie)

♡Shiho loves going to antique stores and trying to buy cursed objects which upsets Ann GREATLY

♡(A real interaction that happened) Shiho: *holding a crowbar* This object has really intense energy.. you think someone murdered someone with it? Ann: DONT YOU DARE THINK ABOUT BUYING THAT

♡Was a Legend of Zelda girlie as a kid and still loves the series. Zelda is one of her biggest kins

♡Mean girls is her favorite movie

♡Is a practicing pagan* with Hecate as her patron goddess

♡*I say practicing lightly because she often completely forgets about it and is terrible at keeping up with holidays, routines, rituals etc

♡Has a drinking problem

♡Vomits incredibly easily, accidentally vomited on Shiho once

♡Listens to true crime podcasts while doing her makeup

♡Uses said true crime podcasts for ideas for her plan in her head to murder Kamoshida and get away with it

♡Besides Zelda her other favorite franchises are Barbie, Studio Ghibli, Sailor Moon and Monster High

♡Ryan Gosling is her celebrity crush and she especially fell in love with him after seeing him as Ken

♡Is definitely dating Shiho but could also be dating Ryuji, Futaba and/or Goro (everyone loves her)

♡She is besties with Akira (though this is very specific characterization of Akira who is transfem and straight)

♡They’re strictly best friends but they have no boundaries. They will take baths together or make out because they’re bored and lonely

♡Had to cut her hair to a bob once because her split ends were getting so bad and she cried for a week

♡Is INCREDIBLY protective of her friends and will drop anything to help them. Has been the shoulder people cried on many, many times

#I know some people are offended by the beautiful princess disorder thing but it’s a joke I have BPD and humor is my coping mechanism #these are all hyper-specific because I’m an ann fictive and this is all just shit about Me lol #I know I’ve mentioned I’m an ann fictive like 50 times on this blog in the past week or so but I do not care ♥️ #also sorry it’s so long oops!! #ann takamaki #persona 5 #p5

[crossover-enthusiast]

i HATEEEEE op ethan he is making me angry

look at this

im gonna hit him WITH A CROWBAR.

everything that comes out of his mouth is probably backhanded he probably makes fun of trigger warnings iM GONNA THROW A CORWBARRRRR AT HIM

BAHAHAHA

He probably kins Senpai from FNF /j

#Spooky Month #Ethan #AU #JNJ

[that-darn-clown]

omg i just remembered one of my favorite interactions

dandy: max i think you have a type with ships. hear me out...

me: whatever are you talking abiut! surely i dont have a type!

dandy: okay so davekat and sam and max....

me: ...shit.

dandy: so one is a chaotic little guy (karkat and max) and the other is chaotic but like... holdin it back for the most part (dave and sam) you also kin one of the characters from each ship. max are you okay?

me, holding my head in my hands: dandy stop prying my third eye open with a crowbar

#the clown! it speaks!

[jeeperso]

D&D Quotes Without Context

Ravenloft Edition, Har-Akir Arc, part 2

GM: Last time on the yawning portal runners Ravenloft edition. You guys arrived in Har Akir, the land of mummies. You ran into Nima, who was running a scam that was scummy, you got in a mess with the local constables, who are dummiies, and found out about Kat's family, who are all extremely punny. Gorbash: “Not Funny!”

Marshal: "We do not muck with hippos.” Jonni: “The fuck’s a hippo?” Willow comes up, "You know those mammoth things youtalk about? Think them, only they go in the water.” Jonni: “Are they worshipped by fuck sticks?” "One of the local gods has a hippo head yes." Simone says.

Simone: ”Anyway, I thought I'd yet you know. that my brother has decided to write and star in a satirical one man show protesting my treatment today. So if you have to save his stupid ass from being hanged later this week you'll know why.”

Gorbash: “And this is why Irost is New Eddie.” Jonni: “Only if I’m allowed to set people, your brother included, on fire.” Simone: ”If he's not lit on fire he wont learn anything.” Jonni: “I could do it now, save us the trouble.”

Edmund: “I do not have a magical gambling problem. It was one time!” Gorbash: “Did you forget the riverboat?” Edmund: “It was two times! Two times is not a problem!” Marshal: “The only reason you still have your soul was because Poom drew a full Exodia.”

"Young man, did someone send you to deliver this scroll? I wonder who would have such a message for us.” “Any of the people here who hate us?”

Maggie takes the scroll and opens it "Ezra dammit I can't read this moon speak.” Edmund inspects the scroll, adjusting his glasses. It’s written in Har Akir Hieroglyphs. Jonni: “Eye, bird, other bird, backwards facing guy, sexy lady, sexy lady…”

"Dearest daughter, welcome back to the land of your birth, please come home for dinner tomorrow night. Bring your pet birds and any other of your companions you think will amuse us." Maggie raises an eyebrow "Did they just call us pets?” Jonni: “Fireball’s got a long range. They’ll never know it was me.”

"I'm not a thief, I'm a treasure hunter. Big difference. Besides they probably have the town guards bribed big time.”

"Look we can't murder the in laws before we even meet them. Save that for the Festival of Thanks. Or when politics comes up.”

"If it comes to it, I can excuse us by playing the missionary card. They'll leave us be if I present pamphlets.”

Irost: “I'd love to entertain, but I’m in the middle of writing my one man satire play.” Simone: “I. WILL GET. A HOSE.”

"We can be the bigger people here. “ "In my experience being the bigger person is overrated.” “You’ve never slept with a storm giant, then.” Gorbash: “I'm pretty sure we have the moral high ground... also Marshal and I are probably bigger than them.” "If they are bigger than you two, I will be worried.”

“Can I Rob [sic] them?”

"At least wait until after we eat, Jonni. Never pass up a free meal.” 

 "As kin to our hosts, Maggie has right of first refusal regarding loot.”

Gorbash: “We'll see how the evening goes. If its just unpleasant and awkward, swipe the silverware and other small valuables. If they really suck, looting everything not nailed down and breaking out the crowbars is always an option.”

"Foreign gods are not recognized here. Under the law, I have no authority and thus no strong feelings one way or the other regarding larceny.”

"We're gonna totally fuck with my moms Peacocks.” “I can cast polymor…. Oh with. Sorry.” "No no keep talking."

"I have a bad feeling about this. We're going to have to fake being dead again before this is all over.” "But we haven't used plan #4 in a while, it will be fun.”

“Can’t sleep. Hippos will eat me.”

Poom is dragged around by her voices to look in "antique" shops. Yog-sothoth: "And this is a brain-plucker: they jam it up the nose to drag out the head-meats, which they think are just some kind of cooling system.”

Edmund: ”Do we need to take gifts? Would it be rude to show up without something?” Gorbash: “...In that case I would only suggest bringing a gift if you can find one with a blatantly insulting meaning to it.” Jonni: “I usually bring the smallest dong I can find when I do that.”

“Which one is the god of curing impotence?”

Emblaming tools: you only ever use them when someone's dead.

Kat holds up a tiny statue of a Hippo headed god "Behold Sute, who sows despair and discord.” "A god of chat rooms.” “Good, bad, it’s the god with the gun... and a chainsaw, apparently.”

"Please don't. Mummy Rot is NOT to be joked about.” Azathoth: "Depends on the affected part.”

"Let's just focus on being political with Kat's family... Polite on the surface, mildly insulting under excusable sleight-of-hand expressions..”

Nyx: ”It is when they have enough power to snuff out your life without you having even a chance to fight back. Semantics.” Gorbash: “Life is sadly filled with many things with that sort of power.” Marshal: "Yes, I too am familiar with capitalism.”

Kat: ”I imagine we will be at open blows before desert. My mom is the Goddess queen of microaggressions.” Gorbash: “Well I'd lay money that we're better at open blows than your folks.” Jonni: “I’m better at macro aggressions.” Gorbash: “Just remember not to set the place on fire while we're in it.” Jonni: “I promise nothing.” "Some of us aren't fire resistant.” Gorbash: “Well not everyone is born with it. Can't be helped.” Marshal: "Nor access to the elixirs of Maybelyne.”

"That's only because Jonni is very careful not to burn us. She shows alot of restraint considering what she COULD do…" Jonni: “THANK you. At least SOMEbody noticed.” "I notice every time. It's why I have no problems traveling with you. You are in no way a Pyromaniac. You are a Pyro-saniac.” Poom: "I thought she was a Nymphomaniac.” Gorbash: "She is. Jonni contains multitudes.” "She is a mani[y]-maniac…"

"Only 40 Mauve peacocks. Peasants in the eyes of Vesh.”

Poom doffs her cloak to the mummies. Which may or may not mean she is now naked.

Jonni holds out the statue. “Yo. We got you this gift. It’s a statue with a head of one of those hairless bears in the river.”

"Oh Sweetie you made it. And you brought the circus, how thoughtful.” It seems like mom is deep into her third cup of wine of the evening. "Oh, it looks like the circus was already here before us, with all that make-up I thought you were a clown.” Azathoth: "Clowns have better accents.” "I know, Azathoth, but I'm trying not to push it just yet.”

Jonni: “Oh, I plan on putting on a show.” Poom: "Just make sure we survive.”

Gorbash: “As Jonni usually says... Don't threaten me with a good time.”

Poom: "Roast kenku never smells that good.”

Jonni: “Oh, if you like, I can regale you of tales of my affections.” Kat’s Mom: ”Oh I bet a lovely lady like you turns all the young men's heads.”

There is the sound of three Elder Gods going "Da fuck?”

Jonni tosses cat-mom at the Guards and turns off polymorph. Guards: "You may come with us to the hall of judgement and WHAT THE DEVIL?” Jonni: “CHEESE IT!”

Jonni: “I don’t care if you’re innocent of not. Fuck everyone that was in that room.” Poom: "I'd object, but I have eaten people.”

"Oh Gods, I left Katerninetales back there.” Gorbash: “Do we need to make another round of cat-knapping?”

"The dad checked out long ago and is avoiding showing any emotions to keep his sanity.” "Ah. Minimum wage experience.”

"He probably had a little miniature town in his basement he meticulously reconstructs as a hobby.” The two kats look at you "You are really on point with the insights." "He imports these little connecting brick toys form Borca. It’s weird.” Poom: "I thought those were disguised caltrops.”

"Okay, someone has to stay here with Kat and her brother, who is going with Marshal to rescue the wife?” "Irost, which way is the moon?” "Up there, obviously.” "Ah, a volunteer. Thank you.”

“I can fly.” "I can create holes in walls.”

Gorbash: "Jonni, an excuse to mess with Nima just came up!” Jonni: “Mess with or kill?” Gorbash: “At least the first, probably the second as well.” Poom: "There needs to be a line?”

"Yeah. I know where it is. And we are NOT going there. You will die.” "Not the first time.” “Everyone says that. It never takes.”

"No idea, but anything that touched the ground was eaten alive.” Poom: "Sounds like Thanksgiving at my family's place.”

"Even if they're horrible. Family is family.” Poom: "Yours isn't trying to eat you alive.”

"After we get her ring can we please just end Nima once and for all? Pretty please." Nyx makes puppy dog eyes.

“What, exactly do you want?  The longer you talk the greater the odds I kill you and fish the ring out of the ashes.”

"But just because we don't trust each other doesn't mean we can't be of use to one another.” "Mutually assured sudden-yet-inevitable betrayal. A distressingly common occurrence to us.”

“No one controls Jonni. Jonni can’t control Jonni!”

"We'll just be borrowing your ten-foot Poky Stick of Knowledge, though.”

OOC: This sounds like a situation that ends with riding a skeletal T-Rex. OOC2: Considering where we are? A Mummy Rex. OOC3: Nah, giant mummy hippo the size of an elephant.

OOC: If the book contains rituals… I may have a plan. OOC2: Use the book to rid us of Oloch? OOC: Two plans.

#dungeons and dragons #dnd 5e #quotes without context #ravenloft

[edgyhomestuckkin-archive]

May i please have some positivity for a crowbar who saw the handmaid as a daughter and feels horrible that he did nothing to stop the abuse she was suffering at the hands of scratch?

Hey Crowbar,

As someone who also kins the Handmaid, I have to say this ask was genuinely refreshing. It’s a very good thing to have remorse for your actions, although I will say that I hope that the missteps of your other life do not trip you up in this one. In my opinion, there is a good reason why we all have been given this life, and beating yourself up for something you have no control over in this one isn’t productive or fair to yourself.

Yes, it is very fair to feel horrible that you didn’t do anything to stop the abuse, but credit where credit is due? I know that I would’ve appreciated it if my Crowbar had seen me as a daughter. He was… very hard to get along with, to put it lightly. You already did something right in that timeline.

So, use those memories as a lesson rather than a punishment. I’m sure you’ll get much more out of it that way, and besides, I don’t see any reason why those other life memories should reflect on who you are as a person now.

I’m rooting for ya,

Mod Bro

#mod bro #kin positivity #the felt kin #crowbar kin

[honeycombsprites]

Crobar Maryam

#crowbar kin #crowbar 07 kin #crobar kin #homestuck #hskin #aesthetic #crobar maryam #crobar #maryam #request

[carapace-central]

AESTHETIC FOR SNOWBAR!

I HOPE ITS GOOD, I DIDNT REALLY KNOW WHAT 2 GO FOR. TRIED SOMETHIN NEW.

-MOD MAYOR.

#Snowman kin #Crowbar Kin #Felt Kin #MAYORAL DUTIES

[kin-squad-finder]

Hey, I'm Crowbar from the Homestuck Intermissions, lookin' for any other Felt members, the Midnight Crew, Caliborn and Calliope, and The Handmaid/Damara. My canon was decently similar to source, with the difference that Cali-kid and Calli-cat were both still around by the time I was recruited, up 'til the Doc did his thing. If any of this sounds familiar, hmu @carcinogalvanizer, or int. with the post and I'll come talk to ya first.

@carcinogalvanizer

#crowbar kin #homestuck kin #midnight crew kin #mod a #Anonymous

[hskinhome]

A stimboard for a Crowbar fictive using red and violent and destructive stims

Art by @blueberryworm

X X X | X X X | X X X

#homestuck #homestuck kin #stimboard #fake blood tw #blood tw #gore tw #fake gore tw #knife tw #slime tw #crowbar fictive #homestuck fictive #mod nepeta

[hskin-stuff]

Can I get a Canon call? I was a Crowbar who left The Felt, I..I told Die I was leaving, I know that, but I don't think I saw him after that. Slick visited me a few times,I guess he... Liked me a bit more after I left...? He helped me out some times, he was honestly a good man. His gal Paint was an angel too. I'm looking for Slick, Paint, any Felt Members but... especially Die. Please message me @lonely-mr-seven.

@lonely-mr-seven!

#crowbar kin #die kin #spades slick kin #ms paint kin #felt kin #canon call #crowbar call #die call #spades slick call #ms paint call #mod horuss #Anonymous #crowbar #die #spades slick #ms paint

[homestuckkins]

Canon call! Humanstuck Handmaid looking for Aradia, Doc Scratch, Snowman, Crowbar and Bro Strider mostly but anyone who thinks they may be from this tl are welcome! Main memories are being raised mostly by Scratch (with Snowman probably being my mother), being a part of the Felt mafia with my little half-sister Aradia and eventually running away, which allows me to meet Bro, who takes me in for a short time. If any of this sounds familiar don't hesitate to message me at snappedfree for more info

@snappedfree !!!

#homestuck #homestuck kin #HOMESTUCKKIN #homestuck canon call #handmaid kin #humanstuck #aradia megido kin #doc scratch kin #snowman kin #crowbar kin #bro strider kin

[hskin-safeplace]

Canon Call? Im a Crowbar who left The Felt and I'm looking for my Die, Slick, Ms. paint and any Felt members but Scratch and English!! Please contact me @lonely-mr-seven

@lonely-mr-seven !!!

#homestuck kin #homestuck canon call #crowbar kin #die kin #slick kin #ms paint kin #the felt kin