#Clint stonebraker

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Re-post from r/MeehanSurvivors Reddit Community. An Enthusiastic Sobriety Counselor Survivor Story.

TW: References to child pornography, conversion therapy, homophobia, masturbation, and sex.

I would love nothing more than to preserve my admiration for the program, if only for the reason that it would be easier to do so, but after years of being deceived, I find it utterly absurd to disregard any contempt on the basis of the misplaced gratitude that it saved my life. While the program undoubtedly contributed to my success in a number of ways, it has nevertheless become clear that I’ve walked away with trauma that, even after all of this time, I fail to wholly understand. What I do know, however, is that my disillusionment with enthusiastic sobriety is heavily rooted in how I was treated, as the people who claimed to love me evidently made it their mission to eradicate who I was and, likewise, transform me into a duller, lesser version of themselves. I will never know who I could’ve been had they honored the parts of myself that needed nurturing, only who I am today and the damage I’ve since been left with.

From the moment I joined the program, I knew exactly what its expectations were. It was made abundantly clear throughout the treatment process, where I was bombarded with endless conversations about what it meant to be a winner - a concept given context far beyond a sober individual working the twelve steps. I was not only told how to behave, but what to believe about every area of my life. It did not matter if those areas were deeply personal, as evidenced by the countless discussions related to sex; in fact, I would not only learn who we could and could not fantasize about while masturbating, but what we could and could not do sexually - as if we could not be trusted to determine for ourselves the actions we take in our own bedrooms. I also found myself on the receiving end of many conversations revolving around whether or not it was acceptable to shave one’s own pubic region, as was a commonly held belief that a shaved pubic region was not only unnecessary, but a product of one’s own vanity that, incidentally, mimics child pornography. Perhaps more disturbing, however, was the ideology surrounding pornography, in general, that we were ordinarily subjected to. We were first told that no self-respecting woman would want to be with a man who’s actively watching porn; then, we were told that it alters a man’s behavior so much that women will be able to recognize whether or not they watch it. The possibility of romance was used as a weapon against us by the counselors, as well as group members, to conform to their principles, rather than allowing us to establish our own and when that didn’t work, personal attacks were their next best option. I remember being asked if I really wanted to be the guy who’s strung out on porn the rest of his life, as if it was some kind of crippling addiction that would keep me from getting anything I ever wanted out of life. Even more importantly, however, it was through these frequent exchanges that I became familiarized with “Pavlov’s Dog Theory,” a scientific study so bastardized by the counselors that it existed solely to explain away the possibility of any non-heterosexual orientation. Being insecure with my own sexuality, it was of course music to my ears to discover that my attraction to the same sex, a perversion as I then recognized it, was the result of watching too much porn and could be easily resolved by the work outlined by the program. For the next few years, I would work endlessly to alter my sexual orientation back to “normal” and apparently did so well enough that I was eventually asked to attend the Meehan Institute of Counselor Training.

When I was in counselor training, most of what we discussed had very little to do with counseling; in fact, the information required to pass the state-mandated test was tossed aside in exchange for the radically inappropriate teachings that came directly from the program itself. Examples of this, of course, include the explanation that non-heterosexual orientations were not only “unnatural” but an expression of one’s perverse desire for instant gratification, usually resulting from either their addiction to porn, as I had already learned in outpatient, or their unresolved childhood trauma. It was also reasoned that an attraction to the same sex was often a natural consequence of being in an abusive relationship with a member of the opposite sex, a belief supported only by the theory that the person, in question, had unlikely resolved their own fear of getting hurt again. Some people were just “pussies” that had decided to seek the “easier, softer way,” an almost comical assumption given that there is nothing “easier” or “softer” about being queer. I would actually be referred to as a “pussy” while sharing to one of the program's many directors that I had sexual thoughts about other men. His solution for me was that since “there is nothing romantic about two men butt fucking each other,” I should spend the time wasted fantasizing about that on where I would like to take a girl on a date. It’s these ways of thinking that we, who’s families spend $5,600 to send us to counselor training, learn for the three months that we’re there. It’s these three months, where we are taught that absurdity is a natural substitute for science, that earn us the right to then counsel others, many of whom are children. I never could've imagined the abuse that would follow, despite the seeds that had been sown throughout the better part of my recovery.

A few weeks after I graduated from counselor training, when I was working the Step One shift, a couple of the program's directors took me away from it to smoke cigars with them. It was there that they talked to me about how I needed to work on developing more masculine qualities, perhaps by engaging in a hobby that was, according to them, “outside of my comfort zone.” Later on, one of my coworkers would lecture me for the way I had reached out to a girl in the group, explaining that she, along with others, might think that I’m gay for agreeing to watch a “chick flick” with her. Another coworker would make fun of me for crying to a song that reminded me of my dead parent, for the reason that it was, according to her, a “gay” thing to do. In one of the monthly purpose meetings, the director made jokes about me being “inside” of another male counselor - something that was received only with laughter. Bob Meehan himself would even tell the training class following my own that while I deserved the upmost respect for taking everyone’s shit, I was probably gay. When I would share how I felt, in reference to these incidents, I was told that my options were either to “change it” or to “own it.” I began to internalize all of this and, due to my own desire to be accepted, I began working even harder to change these qualities that had been deemed unacceptable by those around me. I would later be celebrated in a purpose for denouncing a dramatic television show for the reason that when I watched it, it made me feel like a “faggot;” however, even that wouldn’t satisfy those around me, as my sponsor, who was also my coworker, would suggest that I stop watching Friends, as well, due to the fact that it was the kind of show his wife watched. I would experience similar criticism from yet another coworker who suggested that I only liked “girly shit” for “shock value” and that it was nothing more than my ego attempting to differentiate myself from everyone else. If by now you’re wondering why I even participated in these conversations, all I can say is that it was always in pursuit of becoming a better man and I trusted that the staff had those answers. I couldn't have been more wrong, as I can't help but notice today that what I was subjected to is in direct opposition of the very laws that protect employees from this kind of treatment by their employers; however, in the program, what’s illegal is classified as “spiritual.”

For years, I felt relegated to a subclass of human existence and for what reason? I spent years working on the things that made my life unmanageable primarily because the people around me decided that it was. Furthermore, I was promised that if I stopped watching porn, which I did for years, my brain would rewire itself and I would no longer be attracted to men. As stupid as that sounds now, why wouldn’t I, as an 18 year old, believe what I was hearing from who I only presumed to be trained professionals? I trusted them and really worked hard to take their every suggestion, going as far as becoming a member of Sexaholics Anonymous, despite the fact that I had never even had sex at that point. It was nothing if not incredibly painful to do the same thing over and over again, only to be told to get up and try again by the very people who would describe that as insanity in any other case. I was never once told that what I was doing wasn’t working for me; instead, I was told to try harder. In all of the time I spent in the program, I was never even given the option to try something different until after quitting, when someone told me that my sexual orientation, whatever it may be, was perfectly acceptable and far from a determining factor in my ability to effectively work a program. It took years to hear that, the majority of which were spent somewhere that I definitely should have. That is not only unacceptable but they should be absolutely ashamed of themselves.

Alas, the problem I have with the program is not necessarily that they’ll never apologize to me, but that they lack the self-awareness to even consider it. When I shared my concerns about the program with one of their counselors, he dismissed them with the statement that it’s a perfect program ran by imperfect people and that I should judge them not by their actions, but by their intentions, which coincidentally, contradicts the program’s reliance on a quote from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous that states exactly the opposite. He also told me that I was angry and resentful, despite the fact that I was neither. When I shared my concerns with another counselor, he dismissed them with the suggestion that perhaps the counseling I received, in regards to my sexual orientation, resulted from how I presented it to the staff. His feedback was not only highly insulting, but a complete bastardization of the facts. Not only was I brutally honest about that area of my life, so much that it's all I spoke of, but I was the client and it was far from my role to ensure that the counselors did their job. I was little more than a child at the time; nevertheless, the implication that my negative experiences were all my fault only served as evidence that any attempt to cooperate with the program, and convince them of the ways in which I was harmed, is futile. Why would I want to, anyway, after years of watching any criticism of the program be rationalized as the delusions of “bailed kids” or “disgruntled ex-staff?” The only answer would be to prevent it from happening again, although to think that outcome is even a possibility appears naïve at best. They’ve made it abundantly clear where they stand, that they’re right, everyone else is wrong, and there’s no reason for them to change anything - lest of course it threatens their credibility, which in that case they only become more insidious in their transgressions.

TLDR: The program not only intrusively dictates the sex lives of their clients, but has proven itself to be particularly unloving toward those who are LGBTQIA+. It is a cultural issue that can not be reduced to a few examples of bad counseling. It is clear that they see no reason whatsoever to change this.

#the insight program #the cornerstone program #the pathway program #the crossroads program #the full circle program #believe survivors #breakingcodesilence #troubled teen industry #clint stonebraker

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Dear current staff member, 

 I wanted to reach out to let you know that you can walk away from the program today. 

I assure you nothing I write here is meant to harm or cast judgement on you as an individual; I’ve been in your shoes. 

You are not “fucked up” for exploring this message, you have every right to hear this, to ask questions, to challenge your own thinking. I know you don’t think you’re in a cult, I certainly did not when I was there. 

 This message is for anyone who may be on the fence, who may be having thoughts about getting out, or simply curious about exploring a way out. When I left, I wish someone had sent this message to me. A message of support, and hope. 

That you can leave and you will not die. You can leave and you will not relapse or you can leave and choose to drink alcohol. You can leave and you are not broken, you are not spiritually bankrupt, and you can have healthy, meaningful relationships where you set the boundaries of your personal life and the relationships within it, not your boss; which is super weird if you really start to drill down into that one. 

You can have unwavering success away from the program, it is not some spiritually superior entity. The leadership tells you that someone like me is just an angry disgruntled former employee who can’t own their life. I’m here to tell you that aside from being a former employee, I am none of those things. I am happy, and free, and successful. I don’t hold a grudge, I don’t feel anger or resentment towards the program. I just remember what it was like for me. 

Living in fear of going to purpose, having to share every “insanity” or strange thought I had to large groups of people only for leadership to weaponize that information in order to use it against me later. I made today’s equivalent of $774 per month and was told I was selfish when I asked for a raise. 

When you work there, you sort of have to live two lives. There was the image we presented to the world; young, motivated, drug and alcohol counselors who overcame our demons to share this amazing concept of enthusiastic sobriety with the world. 

Then there was the other life; the one where we dissected each other’s lives, often in cruel and hurtful ways, where we openly discussed how the white race was superior than other races, where homosexuality was a sickness that could be cured, where women existed to serve men, where we chose our parents at birth to work out specific issues, where being sexually assaulted was somehow our own fault, where engaging in non-spiritual activities opened us up to catastrophic events occurring in our lives, and where western medicine was mostly shunned resulting in heartbreaking outcomes for people who really needed help. 

Looking back, it was exhausting. I am who I am today and I cherish not having to pretend anything. When I left, people looked at me like I was broken and I believed them. I was 20 something and had nowhere and no one to go to except for my parents who I had effectively cut out of my life for years. I had no other friends or support, it felt hopeless. 

But I took a true leap of faith and landed on my feet. Today I live a life that is not dictated by groupthink, is not influenced by what someone else determines is right for me. I make those calls and I think I do a pretty decent job of it. Please reach out if you need any kind of support. 

I know that this time is especially trying for you because of all the negative attention the program is receiving. I imagine leadership is trying to circle the wagons and tamp down any dissent and they’ve probably encouraged you to not read or watch anything regarding the program in the media. I’ve been there too and it’s awful. I completely understand how scary it is to even consider leaving. I was so afraid and terrified because I knew I would be shunned. 

When I walked away, it felt like the hardest thing I’d ever done. Everyone on staff immediately stopped talking to me, I heard the whispers about how fucked up I was, that I was destined to be dead and on the streets, that I couldn’t take true ownership of my life, that I was playing the victim, that I was unreachable, unloveable, and spiritually sick. 

I’m here to tell you it’s all bullshit. You’re not fucked up, you’re in a cult. And you can just walk away today. You can also take your time and explore this on your own; you are not wrong to refrain from discussing this with anyone there, I’m certain you already know what they’ll say.

 Keeping this from them does not make you dishonest or fucked up or wrong or whatever bullshit they tell you. Believing so is what allows them to continue to hold power and exert control over others. 

 Maybe I’m over simplifying your situation, I get that, but I’m also here if you need anything. There’s an entire network of support you can tap into right now; you can leave today. I wish you the absolute best. 

 -Former staff member

#bob meehan #clint stonebraker #the insight program #the cornerstone program #the crossroads program #the pathway program #step 2 recovery #the meehan institute #cult #cult survivor #i got out #i see you survivor #breaking code silence #enthusiastic sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety abuse

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

From a Crossroads Counselor - Circa 2005. Originally posted OnTheEmmis.com, a survivor discussion forum.

For those parents that still defend the program:

I was a Crossroads staff member

I created an illusion that your child was seriously ill

I created an illusion that I was your only answer

I preyed upon your fears and doubts

I took your money

I convinced you that you had no idea how to parent your

child

I fabricated a relationship between you and your child

I taught your child how to manipulate you in ways they never imagined possible

I ushered your child into years of irresponsibility

I walked your child out of school

I molded your child’s belief that African American’s, Jews, Christians, disabled, overweight, etc. were “less than”, “unworthy”, “paying dues from a past life”, “are second class citizens”

I feed them fear of the outside world and fostered dependence on me and the program

I reformed their vocabulary

I took advantage of your house

I made racism and being a bigot the “righteous” way, the “right way” and the “superior” way for your child

I encouraged your 15 your little girl that she needed to have sex with her boyfriend

I breed mistrust in you and your child about doctors, teachers, the government and any other person in a position of authority outside of the program

I had you take your child off of medications, pull them out of school, excuse them from family events, break ties with the outside world, showed you that smoking cigarettes, staying out all night, committing crimes in the name of enthusiastic sobriety was OK and that the bills you had to pay in order for them to continue to do these things was your responsibility as a parent, that you owed it to your child.

I hid these from you and told you that your child being sober was the most important thing in life

I had your child hug you and say “I love you”, because I knew that is what you needed and as long as you were given that, I could continue to do what I was doing.

I had you manipulate other parents into trusting me

I showed your younger child how fun sobriety could be, many of them began to drink and use drugs so they could be a part of my group, I had you pay more so they could

I taught you how to do the “dirty work” for me, you were my tool, you did what I said, when I said it

When the time was right, I began to take your child from you

You were my puppet and so was your child

You believed that I had only good intentions, was doing only what was good you and your family, you believed this because I told you this.

When your child I left, I told you it was because they were fucked up and not willing, and most of time, I closed my door to you, I had taken all you had and I was done with you and I had no remorse for any of it

For those of you out there still defending the program...I was a Crossroads staff member.

I am sorry

#Bob meehan #meehan #clint stonebraker #enthusiastic sobriety #racism #homophobia #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #troubled teen industry #tti #breaking code silence #cult #cult survivor #cult leader #the crossroads program #the cornerstone program #the insight program #the pathway program #staff #counselor #believe survivors

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Survivor / Ex-Counselor Testimony.  Originally posted OnTheEmmis.com Oct. 2004

in my case, i was a true believer. i did the things that i did, because i was fully convinced that my actions served a greater purpose; although, it was a greater purpose that i never fully understood. at that time, i believed that i just didn't possess the spiritual aptitude to fully "get it." i remember, shortly after one particularly brutal purpose, i came to the realization that bob, clint, dl, and others were just better men than i. i just wasn't born with whatever they possessed. i was lucky just to have a wife, job, etc. moreover, i realized that i might ultimately lose these things because...why should have them, i didn't deserve them. meehan and his wife continued to drive this point. any time that my self image began to improve, they trumped up some kind of charge and put me back in the hot-seat. i didn't have a poor self-image when i met bob. i was an honor student, an accomplished musician, and I had reached a number of personal goals in my early recovery. i had planned to become a journalist. however, meehan began chipping away at my confidence shortly after i met him. he was highly skilled at this form of abuse. incidently this is the primary reason, in my mind, that the "rape analogy" fits so well. in any event, by the time i was fully in the phx mix, i was expending all of my energy attempting to "get it." at times, i thought i did "get it." then i would go talk to bob and joy, they would inevitably berate me and send me away crushed. in addition to destroying my self-image, they destroyed my reputation. over the years, bob and joy created a dark profile and attached my name to it. they then systematically sold it to the entire icecap staff, as well as many of the parents and group members. they branded me a "woman-hater" (which i have never been), a "control-freak," and a "cult-leader". sound like anyone we know. they convinced people that innocent playful acts were really "attacks, " insidious attempts to harm people and take control. every move i made had a deeper meaning, somehow designed to control, intimidate, and harm others, especially women. they convinced my wife of these things, as well. at one point, i had to make amends to a young staffer for removing some excess salad dressing from my daughters salad after she had accidently poured on too much. why the amends? because this was obviously an act of terrorism against my wife (who was also at the dinner table). therefore, the staffer, who was eating dinner with us, had been the victim of poor role-modeling and this legacy of abuse would surely be carried on to his children some day. this was a serious matter which required my being harshly abused for at least 2 hours at meehan's kitchen table. these kinds of scenarios were never ending. once my daughter asked to take a picture of my wife and i together. of course, i was seen as a vicious culprit in this scenario. clearly, i had "set-up" my daughter to ask for the picture in an attempt to "manipulate" my wife into bonding with me, when she "needed" to pull away from me. every question i asked, every statement i made, if i worked too much, if i didn't work enough...these things were always under scrutiny. anything i said could and was used against me. i wasn't angry at bob and joy; i knew it was my fault. i was "toxic", as one former icecap director had put it. that said, there came a point in time when i began to realize that meehan was acting, at the expense of others, in his own self interest. this happened in part because meehan began to confide in me. "we take care of our own." "it's about the money." i began to realize that the harm that had been perpetrated upon others--i wasn't thinking of myself as having been harmed--were not acts attached to a higher purpose, but acts designed to make bob's life, and the lives of the rest of "us" better. prior to that time, i had also believed that people who were mistreated--not my term for it then--were being acted upon in ways that would ultimately help them. meehan knew i had a high degree of compassion and empathy, he would not have allowed me to believe others were being harmed, until i had connected with "my true sociopathic male self" (meehan's words). his awareness of my compassion was also the reason he chose to brand me as a woman-hater, an effective way to destroy my self-esteem. when i realized that we were harming others, i decided to leave icecap. i could have walked away right then. i almost did. i knew i would lose my wife and daughter. i knew they would marry-off goody 2 shoes as quickly as possible, and i knew that my daughter would grow up calling some other guy dad. i even had a short-list of whom they would choose to marry my wife. i decided to take-off and not look back. i was literally on my way out of town. i didn't want to leave my wife--who was my true love--but i didn't even recognize her anymore. the thought of leaving my daughter broke my heart, as well. then i thought i could leave, fight meehan, shut him down, and get my family back. but, i realized they would probably have 2 shoes married, and possibly pregnant, in order to avoid this scenario. maybe i should have left. perhaps that would have been the right thing to do. instead, i chose to stay and work on getting my family out with me. subterfuge became my game. that decision meant that i continued to participate in icecap and continued to harm others--though i made a concerted effort to try to get an anti-mind-control message through, especially in the training classes i taught. i stayed for another year and finally left with my family intact...somewhat.

#bob meehan #cult #meehan #clint stonebraker #purpose #survivor #cult survivor #joy meehan #enthusiastic sobriety #phoenix #atlanta #enthusiastic sobriety program #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #counselor #staff #troubled teen industry #troubled teen #breaking code silence

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

”Adolescent Attraction to Cults”  Originally posted on OnTheEmmis.com circa 2005.

I'm writing term paper on Cult Deprogramming for my Psych class. I saw this (with several others), and thought it made for a good read here... (maybe @ the end of the semester I will submit my findings as well).

Warning: this is pretty long.

Title: ADOLESCENT ATTRACTION TO CULTS , By: Hunter, Eagan, Adolescence, 0001-8449, September 1, 1998, Vol. 33, Issue 131

Database: Academic Search Premier

ADOLESCENT ATTRACTION TO CULTS

Contents

REFERENCES

ABSTRACT

This article details the reasons behind adolescents' attraction to cults. It is recommended that parents, teachers, and counselors familiarize themselves with the warning signs. Suggestions are offered on how to make adolescents less vulnerable to cult overtures.

Adolescence is the transitional period between the dependence of childhood and the assumption of the rights and responsibilities of adulthood. It is a time when young people attempt to understand who they are, what they can do, and why they are here. Their freedom to make decisions greatly increases, but, at the same time, certain adult privileges remain inaccessible. Their lives seem to be filled with possibilities, restrictions, and uncertainties.

New and unfamiliar situations quickly generate unrest and crisis, arising during an important period of identity development. To establish a coherent identity, adolescents draw from models and ideals found within their environment. They may seek out reliable standards to achieve a sense of security, only to find confusing, paradoxical social rules. They therefore may have difficulty distinguishing between heroes and anti-heroes, and may end up seeing themselves only in negative terms, producing a severe identity crisis. Having sought independence, they find that they fear standing alone.

Thus, it is not surprising that adolescents, having encountered conflict, confusion, and frustration, often feel disoriented and anxious. Fearing rejection by a society that they do not understand, they may retreat into isolation, or demonstrate inappropriate emotional outbursts, aggression, and rebellion, and embrace radical causes. All of these are youthful cries of pain, cries for help and understanding.

Traditionally, young people have been critical of, and impatient with, the established values and behavior patterns of society. They desire change, and experience frustration when it does not occur. Their ideal ism leads them to believe that those in power, as well as established institutions, have failed to meet the legitimate needs of various groups. To them, social problems and their solutions stand out in stark clarity.

In addition, during adolescence higher-order thinking skills become engaged; it is a time of intellectual curiosity, of seeking truth. Youths are intellectually and spiritually open to new ideas. Unfortunately, they have not achieved the balance of experience and maturity that would enable them to sort truth from illusion and reality from fantasy in all situations. They have not gained sufficient sophistication to evaluate --critically and methodically--complex philosophies.

Many youth movements play upon this naive idealism and intellectual curiosity. The young person may be challenged to answer the clarion call to join a group that professes to offer a vision of a perfect society, one in which all injustices are rectified. After all, how could any self-respecting person, caring for the world and its people, not be willing to give this "new way" a try?

Group membership can lead to either positive or negative outcomes. For example, the Peace Corps and various forms of community service and mentor programs are excellent ways for youth to achieve self-actualization. On the other hand, gangs and cults suppress individuality and foster estrangement from society.

The personality profile of an adolescent susceptible to cult overtures might include identity confusion or crisis; alienation from family; weak cultural, religious, and community ties; and feelings of powerlessness in a seemingly out-of-control world. Studies have indicated that a surprising number of cult members come from democratic and egalitarian homes and upper socioeconomic levels, rather than over-permissive, overindulgent, dysfunctional, and poor families. In fact, Andron (1983) reports that many cults focus on the recruitment of gifted and creative adolescents. Therefore, it is extremely difficult to delineate a precise portrait of potential adolescent cult members.

In a review of the literature, Wright and Piper (1986) reported that alienation from family relationships precedes cult membership. Youths are compensating for unfulfilled needs (e.g., love, sense of belonging), the lack of which hinders the development of self-esteem, social competence, and mastery of life tasks. In turn, this generates attempts to gain approval and recognition. Wright and Piper indicated that the attraction to cults is strengthened by the fact that a cult's rules often are better defined than those of the family. Adherence to the cult lifestyle often results in radical behavior changes, along with "a loss of identity" compensated by an "enslavement to cult leaders" and further estrangement from family.

Parents, teachers, and coaches sometimes place excessive demands on youth. Such pressures frequently lead to undesirable outcomes, such as physical or intellectual burnout, drug use, or escape to what appears to be the safety of a cult. Adults must remember that there is a time for everything--a time simply to enjoy being young, and later, after normal adolescent development has progressed, a time increasingly for admission into the competitive, success-oriented adult world.

There has been a marked decline in the influence of the family and traditional religious beliefs, with a concomitant liberalization of personal values. The social climate has nourished rejection of cultural and moral standards. This has left adults and especially adolescents with the dilemma of finding values with which to fill this vacuum, so as to be able to resolve old problems and discover new solutions. Mike Warnke (1972), a former drug addict and satanic high priest who became involved in the anti-occult counseling program Alpha Omega Outreach, explains that a person "is constructed like a triangle, with one side representing his physical needs, the second his mental needs, and the third his spiritual needs. A person fulfilling only his physical and mental needs is not complete... [and] is consciously or subconsciously undergoing a search for spiritual fulfillment, wherever he can find it--in drugs, the occult." The loss of society's religious and social moorings leaves many youths adrift. The desire to become a complete person--to complete the triangle of their being--leads many, Warnke warns, into dangerous ways.

In the absence of authentic, stabilizing standards upon which youth can depend and trust, self-destructive tendencies quickly emerge. Adolescents become vulnerable to academic failure, suicide, drug and alcohol abuse, pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases, risk-taking behavior, violence, and gang and cult membership.

Zimbardo and Hartley (1985) reported that approximately 50% of the high school students included in their survey had been approached to join a cult. Wright and Piper (1986) have indicated that cults are most successful in recruiting individuals between 18 and 23 years of age, when persons are most likely to be seeking "perfect" answers to life's questions and problems. Because of their immaturity, they fail to take into account the long-term consequences of cult membership.

Rudin (1990) defines cults as "groups or movements exhibiting an excessive devotion or dedication to some person, idea, or thing. Such cults employ unethically manipulative techniques of persuasion and control designed to advance the goals of the group's leaders to the determent of members, their families, or the community." Cults attract youths experiencing psychological stress, rootlessness, feelings of emptiness and of being disenfranchised, and identity diffusion and confusion. Such youths come from all walks of life and from all classes of society. Cults seem to offer confused and isolated adolescents a moratorium--a period of dropping-out, or a "time-out"-- as well as a highly structured sense of belonging and a means of escape from being "normless."

The terms "church," "sect," and "cult" should be distinguished. Church usually is applied to specific religious organizations. A sect is an offshoot of a particular religious body, whose members prefer to follow doctrines or teachings that differ from the parent group. A cult exhibits many of the characteristics of a sect. However, it represents a major and abrupt break with the past. A cult is viewed by its members as the climax of history, and often emphasizes devotion to a single person. Legitimate movements withstand the test of time to prove their authenticity.

A distinguishing characteristic of cults is that they prey upon a person's fears through a systematic process of "brainwashing" and "programming." They recruit aggressively. Strong efforts are made to separate members from family and former associates--to cut them off from their past--in order to establish new values and standards requiring total dependence on, and devotion to, the cult itself. There is usually an all-powerful authoritarian leader. Members may be psychologically, physically, or sexually abused, with discipline maintained through fear. Rudin (1990) states that "what makes a group a cult is the deception and manipulation of its members and the harm done to them and to society, not its ideals or theology." Notable examples have been the mass suicide of the followers of Jim Jones in Guyana (1978), the holocaustic climax of the disciples of David Koresh in Waco, Texas (1993), and most recently the group suicide of the Heaven's Gate believers in San Diego (1997).

Davidowitz (1989) has stated that an increasing number of adolescents are falling under the influence of Satanism. Evidence includes the desecration of cemeteries and the theft of bodies; the appearance of satanic symbols and themes in contemporary literature, art, and music; and in an extreme case, the satanic, ritualistic murders in Matamoros, Mexico. Belitz and Schacht (1992) have indicated that male youths from abusive families are especially vulnerable to satanic cult recruitment. Adolescents seeking a sense of power over their own lives as well as over others are susceptible.

According to Rudin (1990), this process has several stages. Initially it begins as a fun experience, with adolescents involved in fantasy and role-playing games based on occult ideology and incorporating an obsession with violence. These adolescents are usually deeply involved in heavy metal rock music and, frequently, brag about their activities to boost their self-image. This type of involvement tends to make the individual receptive to satanic activities. A "dabbler" stage follows, in which satanic literature and paraphernalia are acquired. The transition from fun-and-games to serious interest opens the door to satanic recruitment through clubs, hangouts, and private parties. As involvement deepens, cruelty to animals, rape and molestation, drug use, and even murder may follow.

It is the responsibility of society in general and the family in particular to be alert to the danger signs, especially during the early stages of youth involvement. However, with society fractured and unable to fulfill this role, educators, social workers, and psychologists must rise to the occasion. In addition, the cooperation and support of religious institutions, civic organizations, and government agencies must be enlisted.

School and youth organizations can be particularly helpful. The sensitive teacher or counselor can be watchful for the warning signs--confusion, alienation, sudden changes in personality or behavior, withdrawal from home and social activities, the development of antisocial attitudes, a decline in academic achievement, the assumption of an unusual style of dress, and preference for music with satanic themes--and intervene in a timely fashion.

However, caring adults must be proactive rather than merely reactive. They can help adolescents to develop a strong self-concept, one that is not vulnerable to the harmful attractions of a cult. They can assist youths to formulate positive, realistic life goals, and ease the emotional impact of inevitable frustrations. Adults must be willing to discuss--knowledgeably, frankly, and honestly--the various personal and social issues confronting adolescents, such as substance abuse, AIDS, teenage pregnancy, as well as the insidiousness of cults.

Adolescents seek self-identity and acceptance as unique individuals. They search for standards and values upon which to model their behavior. Educational and social institutions must be made welcoming places in which young people feel a sense of belonging, places of understanding and trust, places of stability in a rapidly changing world. Adolescents should be shown ways to achieve a richer and more meaningful life, to attain their natural potential, and to become contributing members of society. The meeting of these challenges and opportunities is what education for life--not for death--is all about.

#Bob meehan #clint stonebraker #meehan #cults #cult #cult survivor #teenager #troubled teen industry #troubled teen #adolescence #youths #believe survivors #psychology #the insight program #peer pressure #the cornerstone program #the crossroads program #the pathway program #the full circle program #breaking code silence

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Bob Meehan - The Advocate, Newark, O., Sunday April 21, 1985

"Your unborn child has as much chance of getting a drug problem as getting chicken pox. Walk into junior high school today and half the kids there are getting loaded. I am not accepting that behavior!"

Edging forward on the couch, Bob Meehan underscores the message by grasping your arm and boring in with his eyes. He delivers his words with the same passion he says he once has for shooting heroin. He demands your attention.

"These kids were primed by Cheech and Chong. By age 10 they were primed to smoke a joint as you were to drive a car."

He finishes in crescendo, with a clenched-fist flourish: "They (pause) caaAAN't (pause) wait!"

Drug addict, thief, ex-convict, conman extraordinaire, drug-abuse counselor and now author, Meehan, 42, says he is all of these. He fancies himself as equal parts Elmer Gantry, Mother Theresa and P.T. Barnum.

He has been praised as a hip and gifted teacher whose lesson rings true to drug-plagued kids because he has "been where they are."

But Meehan has also been criticized as an egomaniac out for money, power and glory; a slick operator perpetrating the ultimate con job on desperate and vulnerable families by replacing drug dependency with a dependency on him and his group.

Meehan, who "shot dope for 10 years and banged on the penitentiary door until they let me in," lacks academic credentials. He proudly proclaims his diploma from the school of hard knocks.

Meehan is the founder of Freeway, a self-help drug abuse program that holds meetings in community centers throughout San Diego County, and of SLIC Ranch, his "Sober Live-In Center" in the remote foothills near Lake Wohlford.

Even his toughest critics concede that he is highly successful at getting kids off drugs. They say it is his powerful personality and absolute influence that they fear.

"There is no way a person coming down off of this is not going to lean on someone," said Meehan in the living room of SLIC Ranch. "You've removed their best friend - the chemical. It has worked for them every time.

A con is one who can manipulate, who is charismatic as hell - I don't take credit for that, you're born with it. I'm also bald and ugly," said the wispy-haired Meehan, who chain-smoked and drank coffee from a 16-ounce tumbler throughout the rapid-speak interview.

"But the real con is how I get them off of me and the group and into themselves, into whatever God is to them," said Meehan, who based the Freeway and SLIC Ranch programs on the "12 Steps" of Alcoholics Anonymous that seek to restore self-esteem and sobriety through a relationship with a "higher power."

A half dozen years ago in Houston, Meehan created a successful drug rehabilitation program through moxie, fast talk and innate ability to get through to kids on their own level.

Carol Burnett's daughter, Carrie, was Meehan's prize pupil and the famous comedian toured the talk-show circuit with the wiry and naturally wired Meehan, singing his praises.

Tim Conway, Burnett's old TV sidekick, has had two of his five sons treated for drug problems by Meehan. Conway and Meehan appeared together on a TV show to plug Freeway and the ranch.

Sister Mary Vincent, a San Diego marriage and family counselor, knew Bob Meehan when she was also working with troubled youths in Houston. She referred drug abusers to Meehan's group in Texas and continued to do so after she coincidentally moved to San Diego.

"I referred people to Bob because I saw the effectiveness of his program in Houston," said the Roman Catholic nun known as "Sister Vince." "But a little over a year ago, I began hearing stories from parents going through nightmares and afraid to speak out because of the power Bob and Freeway held over their children.

There is a cultish situation. Bob is a slippery eel and he has many people conned," she said. "To me, it's truly frightening."

Meehan was "removed" in January 1980 from his $50,000 per year consulting job in Houston after newsman Dan Rather pointed out a conflict of interest (Meehan's salary was paid by the hospital to which he was recommending patients from his Palmer Drug Abuse Program) on CBS's 60 Minutes program.

There also was complaints from his flock of former substance abusers that Meehan's idea of a cure was to shift their dependence from drugs to him and his self-help program.

Meehan's group in Texas was described by some former members as cult-like in its demand for total allegiance and its distain for more than cursory contact with the outside world. "We're led to believe that we can't make it without the program," one of Meehan's former followers told 60 Minutes.

Meehan folded the operation in his native Texas and settled in San Diego about four years ago. He quickly established a drug-abuse program at the now-defunct Centre City Hospital and the self-help network Freeway, which is thriving.

For more than two years, he has operated SLIC Ranch in a sprawling 4,000-square-foot hilltop ranch on 10 acres.

Meehan insists that the Freeway program and SLIC Ranch are entirely separate entities. "If I'm at one Freeway meeting a month anymore, that's a big deal," he said. "Freeway does its thing and we do ours."

Freeway is a group of more than 500 recovering teenage drug abusers, including most of the 150-plus graduates of SLIC Ranch. They meet several times a week to talk about their drug problems under the guidance of young counselors - former abusers themselves.

Freeway is one of several self-help groups parents may turn to for help when a child is abusing drugs. When the problem is deemed particularly severe, Freeway refers the child to SLIC Ranch for an intensive 30-day program.

While the child is undergoing treatment at the ranch, the parents are indoctrinated into the Freeway program through a series of meetings for newcomers (Freeway is non-profit, but donations are strongly encouraged). While at SLIC Ranch, the child spends evenings traveling to Freeway meetings and inevitably becomes deeply involved with the group, along with his parents.

At the end of the 30 days, the child usually will leave SLIC Ranch and take up residence at the home of a "Freeway family," one whose child is sober, thanks to the group, and whose parents are true believers in Meehan and his method.

Even if the newly sober child returns home after a few weeks with the Freeway family, according to Meehan, he generally will not return to school for a time and will disassociate himself from classmates and old friends in favor of his new Freeway friend.

#bob meehan #clint stonebraker #the insight program #freeway #san diego #breaking code silence #troubled teen industry #tti #troubled teen #rehab #rehabilitation #cult #cult leader #cults #true crime #the pathway program #the cornerstone program #the crossroads program #the full circle program #pdap #iseeyousurvivor #meehan #enthusiastic sobriety #sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #recovery #sober #survivor

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Enablers Of Enthusiastic Sobriety.

Taken from leavingdharmaocean.com

Although they’re often seen as lone predators– charismatic cult leaders, strict authoritarians– manipulative spiritual leaders cannot function without enablers. Enablers are those who support abusive leaders by excusing their behavior, legitimizing or normalizing abuse, and/or abusing others to preserve a leader’s power. You may have heard enablers referred to as flying monkeys.

Enablers cause harm in abuse fallout. Common behaviors include keeping up appearances, assuring that conditions are normal or no harm has been done, aiding in character assassination and distrust of people who have chosen to leave the sangha or speak out about abuse, and recruiting new members.

Enablers, while often victims of the same abuses as other group members, may receive more rapid cycles of love bombing and shame/punishment, be given increased power and social standing from their enabling, or derive their sense of identity from being able to handle such a temperamental or difficult leader.

Enablers play a unique role in community, as they both receive and perpetuate abuse. When an enabler leaves an abusive group, they must often go through a difficult, two-fold process: first, addressing the ways in which they were abused by the leader or group, then coming to terms with the harm they perpetuated.

How to spot an Enthusiastic Sobriety enabler.

Enablers often conform to a general pattern of behavior. Be on guard for:

Victim blaming: Are those who have come forward with their own abuse stories being blamed in some way for causing the abuse? Being called a nuisance or a distraction from the Program? Or even being blamed for the pretend downfall of Enthusiastic Sobriety?

Character assassination: Similar to victim-blaming, character assassination portrays survivors as being fundamentally flawed. Is someone being labeled as untrustworthy, a person who relapsed, overly negative, or insane, simply because they’ve spoken out about dysfunction? Or as neurotic, because they’ve deviated from the group? Are bailed kids inferior to graduates?

Making excuses for the leader: Painting abuse as a side effect of genius. Enablers will refer to Bob Meehan’s gift of sobering teens up and explain that it is the power of his practice of unorthodox methods that really work, or that his particular racism or homophobia is excusable or doesn’t effect the program. 

Love bombing: One of the core elements of control and manipulation, long-term abuse is not possible without demonstrations of affection, even love, meant to influence or sway the abused. Enablers may elevate you in contrast to previous members, telling you that you and/or your group is special, more mature, ready for the teachings, or different from how the program “used” to be. 

Gaslighting: A tried and true method of perpetuating abuse, gaslighting undermines a victim’s account by making them doubt their own experience, i.e., “that’s never happened before,” “you just sound resentful,” “you could have left if you didn’t like it.” 

Dismissive apologies: Using some apologetic language without taking accountability, acknowledging that actual harm was done, or actually apologizing, i.e., “I regret that in the end some people felt they did not have a good experience,” “I’m sorry that people feel they were hurt by Bob Meehan,” “I’m sorry you were offended,” etc.

Group-splaining: Using variations on Group teachings to help an abuser avoid accountability, i.e. no victims-only volunteers, coming out of love, pushing you to grow, telling people that Bob Meehan is the father of drug abuse and his methods are the only proven way to work on teens. 

Eliciting sympathy (for themselves or for the leader): Shifting the conversation to what a burden it is for the enabler to manage, be in relationship with, or work closely with the leader, or how hard this event has been on the Group. 

Control of information: Making it seem dangerous, unnecessary, or unacceptable to hear multiple perspectives about an event or situation. Enablers may subtly discourage you from speaking with victims or past group members about their experience or even discourage you from researching the history of Enthusiastic Sobriety abuse. Enablers have also worked hard at Enthusiastic Sobriety programs to hide community conversations about abuse in accord with the wishes of the spiritual directors. 

Citing their own experience to dismiss abuse: To promote the image of a harm-free Enthusiastic Sobriety, some enablers refute abuse claims (“That has not been my experience”)– even when they have, indeed, been abused by a leader in the organization, and even if many others have witnessed it. If you encounter a group member, staff, or parent using themselves as an example to minimize abuse, do some research. Is it true? Or is it an act of loyalty to Bob Meehan?

Inaction: Enablers stand by and do nothing as others are abused. They may be afraid or be spiritualizing the abuse, but they do not intervene, challenge, protect, or stop harm from happening. 

#cult #bob meehan #clint stonebraker #breaking code silence #troubled teen industry

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Survivors of Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs unpack the bizarre and harmful philosophies of Bob Meehan’s teen drug abuse programs. Former Counselors and Group members speak on certain subjects or come on to tell their stories. Co-Hosts Liz and Jaqueline are survivors of The Insight Program in Greensboro, NC and Atlanta, Georgia. 

#bob meehan #the insight program #the crossroads program #the cornerstone program #the pathway program #the full circle program #PDAP #Clint stonebraker #Meehan #The Group #Cult #podcast #true crime podcast #cult podcast #troubled teen #troubled teen industry #breaking code silence

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Survivor Testimony circa 2004. Originally posted OnTheEmmis.com

I began the program in 1988 at Crossroads in St. Louis. I remember those being the most fun days of my life. I still love those memories. I met some really great people. If only I would have stopped there!!!! Clint Stonebraker called me in 1991 and asked me to come be a counselor at Atlanta Insight. It took me about a millisecond to accept. This was my dream. I thought I could never be happier. I learned some serious life lessons in the years to come. I never realized how much of a luxury food, electricity and toiletries were. Looking back, I really can't believe we were convincing people that true happiness included living in poverty and turning your back on your family. I moved around to Houston and Phoenix. It was all pretty much the same story. We actually did start getting a little bit of money, though. After none at all, it seemed like a fortune! Well, 1997 rolled around and I was extremely burnt out. I truly realized that I was not happy. I was terrified to leave. Here I was 24, no education, no money, no skills. ( I never even had the privilege of the ICECAP training). The worst part is, I truly believed that everyone else in the world was f-ed up in the head. I was convinced that these people in the program had the only answers to happiness. I was hopeless because if I can't survive being truly "happy", then my only choice was to self-destruct. I moved home to St. Louis. Go figure, my family, who I had completely alienated and treated like crap, welcomed me home with open arms. I began drinking immediately. Within two months, I was smoking crack. I was angry, had no self esteem and often contemplated suicide. I got completely plastered one night and walked into a liquor store with a 9mm. Thank God that I did not kill anyone. I was arrested and was facing up to 10 years in the Illinois State Pen. Thanks to my Dad, who I didn't talk to for 4 years while I was in the program, I received some pretty good representation and I got a suspended sentence. I have a very boyish look and I don't think I could lasted too long in the Pen. It took the death of the most beautiful soul I have ever known to straighten me up, my mother. She wrecked her car in 1998 and died of a chest injury. God, I want to throw up when I think of the things the program made me believe about my beautiful Mom. I miss her so much. As devastated as I was, I chose to deal with it by fixing my life. I met one of former co-workers from Atlanta and he introduced me to three other friends who, literally, saved my life. I stopped drinking and smoking. I even started working out, I had ballooned to over 200 lbs!!! I expected my new friends to tell me exactly how to live my life. I would talk to them constantly about everything in my personal life and I was so afraid that I was ?spiritually unfit'. I'm sure sometimes they thought I was crazy, I guess in a way, I was. My life is pretty simple now. I truly believe that as long as I don't hurt myself or anyone else that whatever I do is pretty much OK. And if it isn't, I'll learn that. I talk about my problems when I WANT TO. I tell people what I WANT TO TELL THEM.

#Bob Meehan #clint stonebraker #meehan #enthusiastic sobriety program #enthusiastic sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #cult #cult survivor #troubled teen industry #troubled teen #breaking code silence #the insight program #the cornerstone program #the crossroads program #the pathway program #the full circle program #believe survivors

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

“Enthusiastic Sobriety programs tearing families apart and convincing parents to kick their kids out onto the streets.” Originally posted on OnTheEmmis.com in 2004. ICECAP is the former incorporation and has since dissolved due to the efforts of OnTheEmmis.com

There is a thread on the other message board that I think the parents need to be informed about. This is about the harm that is caused to the children from parents that are still in an ICECAP program. These are true stories (not edited) just copied and pasted for you to read.

What Bob AND Joy teach parents about "tough" love and their version of "unconditional" love are just that "their version".

Does this seem as though families are being brought together and healing to you?

This is a great example of the pain that is caused when one person in the family (the child) wants to leave ICECAP and another person (the parent) believes the lies that they have been taught (that they are or will get high, can't live without being in the program, etc.) They, ICECAP, breed the fear that you as a parent have when you see them making choices that YOU don't like. What is the true meaning of letting go? Or the true meaning of unconditional love?

This is not to make any parent feel guilty for their time in an ICECAP program. I truly believe you thought you were doing the best thing. You were also a victim of the cult and it's way of thinking. That is the very reason I am posting this thread. To show the harm and hopefully save some pain for others.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author:

Bailey [ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date Posted: 13:27:44 12/22/04 Wed

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Getting kicked out of your house by your once all loving supporting do anything for you family

As most of you know my family is ALL involved in Crossroads and sense I've left its been hell, Thursday night my dad and step mom freaked out on me and my dad started pushing me and threatening to "lay me the fuck out" My dad has never so much as spanked me before we used to get along great until x-roads we got high together went to concerts movies dinner and what not, But now its as tho i don’t exist to them they call me ungrateful bitch and many other names after all that happened he told me to pack a bag and he didn't want to see me anymore, Luckily i see a therapist and he talked to my dad and calmed them down they still want me out of the house tho. I cant leave now because i belong to the state until me 18th birthday which thank god isn't far off but if they kick me out or i move out i have to spend the next month and half in juvenile again, this has happened to many of my friends who have left too they end up homeless because if there not in the group they cant be at there house, i was just wondering if anyone else's parents went crazy after they left and if it does get better?

------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ Next Thread | Previous Thread | Next Message | Previous Message ]

[> Subject: It happened to me Part 1

Author:

Hollywood

[Edit]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date Posted: 17:59:18 12/22/04 Wed

------------------------------------------------------------------------

I lived threw this every time I left the group, but especially the last time.

The last time I left I bailed the group with a guy, I knew from prior experiences that my parents would not tolerate me living in their house and not be in Pathway. So I did what I knew how to do, and hopped on a bus to California. When we got there we had no money or anything. At that point and many points throughout my time in Pathway I was willing to be a street person rather than be involved in the group. To say it didn't last long was an understatement; he was scared and refused to talk to anyone. His parents agreed to fly us back to AZ. I almost did not go because I knew that upon arriving I would have no place to go. Mind you at this point I had over a year sober. I did not bail because I wanted to get high.

When the plane touched down in PHX he had people from the group waiting to take him back. They shunned me. I had been in the group for about 5 years at that point and they could care less if I had a place to go. I now know it was because my parents would not shell out even more money for me to go into IOP (that would have been the third time).

I truly did not know who to call; I had been in the group since I was 14 years old. Not many people I knew had left and were around or willing to talk to a program drop out.

I finally gathered enough courage to call a friend of mine that had left the group, I knew she was getting high but at that point I didn't care. The streets of Phoenix were a lot more cruel than the streets of Hollywood. Her mother answered the phone, she did not sound very happy to hear my voice, on a previous runaway trip I bailed the group with her daughter and a few other people and we stole her credit cards and over $1000 dollars cash if my memory serves correctly. So this was a lady that I had fucked over to say the least. This kind woman opened her home to me. More than what my own family was capable of at that point. She allowed me to stay at their house and helped me try and find a job. At the same time unknown to me she was in contact with my parents trying to convince them to take me home, that I was actually doing fine and wasn't what the group was telling them about me.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> Subject: Re: It happened to me Part 2

Author:

Hollywood

[Edit]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date Posted: 18:00:08 12/22/04 Wed

------------------------------------------------------------------------

For some reason on Christmas Eve my parents called and told me I could move back in, but I had to live in the garage. They would set up a cot in there. I would not be allowed to use anything in the house, except the bathroom but my parents had to escort me to and from it. I agreed I didn't care; I just wanted to see my father.

When we were driving to my parents house the kind mom who allowed me to stay at her house explained to me that this was all my mothers doing, my father wanted nothing to do with my and had informed her that I was dead to him. It was because of him I would be sleeping in the garage until I could find my own home (mind you I was 18 and had never held down a job, paid bills, etc.) I lost it, this man, my father, my hero wanted nothing to do with me. This was a turning point for me. This is when I decided in my crazy still experiencing the effects of Kool-Aid that I needed to get high in order to get in the house. Because, try and follow this it is way crazy thinking looking back, if I just got high I would have something to cop to, the group would take me back, I could make amends and therefore my father would allow me in his life again. Crazy I know.

Well living in the garage lasted about 2 hours before my parents (read mother) got sick of it. My father sulked in his room and wanted nothing to do with me. Christmas Eve with all the family and Christmas day were rather awkward, to say the least. My father still did not speak to me. I believe that year they even attended the round robin. I sat at home. I soon got a job and almost immediately began getting high, smoking speed, snorting coke, and shooting heroin. This went on for about 2 years. I worked therefore my parents didn't care. They had both left the program (details of that have never been disclosed to me, I do not know why or how). And my father and my relationship finally started to re solidify.

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> [> [> Subject: Re: It happened to me Part 2

Author:

Hollywood

[Edit]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date Posted: 18:01:09 12/22/04 Wed

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Except by this time I was strung out on heroin. Believe it or not I did go back to the group. After my parents discovered my horrible habit and asked me to check myself in to a detox center, I made an appointment with the then OG counselor. He told me to that I was going to die, that I needed to go into some Step something or other. I told him I had no money. He told me to sell my cars, I told him he was on crack my parents would never let me do that. At the same moment I was absolutely terrified they would. I told him to call them and if he could convince them I was willing. From what I understand that counselor did call my father and my father told him he was full of shit. That was the day my father became my hero again and not some brain washed ego maniac. I wound up getting off heroin a few months later. My father and my relationship has been wonderful ever since, for Christ sake we even work together. My mother is still struggling with the fact that I drink . But her and my relationship is better than it ever has been my entire life.

Sorry this was so long and detailed I never knew I would share all of this. I hope this helps you to realize to hear that some else has been threw a similar nightmare.

Good luck and if you ever need anything or need to talk about the ‘rents and the evil things they can do when they are still slugging down the Kool-Aid but you are not, email me. I am more then willing to listen.

Also if a parent reads this who is considering throwing their child out on to the streets because they are no longer in the group, let me tell them from being that child: They have no place to go! The situation that they are in worsens, they feel abandoned, and the people that they turn to are usually using drugs much heavier than they are or ever have!

PLEASE DO NOT BUY INTO ICECAPS TOUGH LOVE- this is what killed Bob’s son, this is what almost killed me, and what almost killed or even did kill many people I knew.

Hollywood

[ Post a Reply to This Message ]

[> Subject: Re: Did this happen to anyone else

Author:

michele

[Edit]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date Posted: 22:27:49 12/22/04 Wed

------------------------------------------------------------------------

ok bailey, i know you've already heard this but there are some who haven't... the first time i left stl i was 16. i lived on the streets and 20 dollar hotels and at my old sponsee's house. it was bad but didn't compare to when i left atl. that time i was 18. my dad had driven a car down for me. i eventually got myself kicked out. i knew it was coming. i packed up my car with at much crap as i could and then i left. i went to stl then kc. stealing gas the entire way, oh yeah and wrote a bunch of bad checks. i had to go back down to atl to pick up more of my stuff. so i took a friend with me. i got there and packed up more crap. i made it all the way back up to nashville, then my car broke down. to anyone who lives in there car it's the most important thing to you. it's your bed, your transportation, your only way to and from work. it makes your whole life work. my friend's parents wired her money and left me 60 miles south of nashville, in manchester. i took what i could from my car and started walking. i hitch hiked from there to kc. it took me 3 days almost. i looked like complete shit when i got home. think the garage is bad? my mom made me sleep on the back deck for 3 weeks. like a dog. i woke up went to work (walked my happy ass) came home and then when my mom got home from work she would let me in to go to the bathroom and shower, then i got kicked back out. when i finally proved my self she let me in the house. well that's the most important parts i guess. there's more but i wanna go to sleep. point is that things did get better. i just had to fight so hard for it. i've never had to fight for anything harder then to survive. but i'm still here. and to everyone who will ask, i never touched a truck driver, and they never asked. actually the fed me and let me sleep.

[> Subject: Re: Did this happen to anyone else

Author:

Jen from AZ

[Edit]

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date Posted: 02:27:25 12/23/04 Thu

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's stuff like this that really gets me riled! It bothers me that the "Family" (talk about dysfunctional families!) pushes parents to treat their own flesh and blood like animals! I'm sorry - but tough love is bullshit! As parents, we are to care for our kids - whether we love them or not - they are a gift from God and these parents ought to be damn grateful that they have children! Do these parents not realize that there are LAWS about this?! As long as their kid is under 18 they are required BY LAW to give their kids food, clothing and shelter. Parents, if you are kicking your kids out of your house - YOU DON'T DESERVE TO HAVE THEM!

I will NEVER turn my back on my child! I don't understand how any parent can do that! How can a parent look Their child in the eye - no matter how old they are - and turn their back on them? How can they sleep at night not knowing if their child is dead or alive? How can Bob and "friends" push this kind of treatment?! This is just totally beyond my comprehension! My blood is boiling right now!

I would give ANYTHING to have more kids at home! I cry almost every night because I want a houseful of children! Yes, I love my son with all my heart - but yes! I also want a houseful of laughing - hell, even screaming - children running around! And quite frankly it fucking pisses me off that parents treat their children like this! Sleeping in the fucking garage? On the damn patio!? Wake up you parents who are in ICECAP! I don't care if you believe the Bible or not - I do and I believe it with all my heart and it says in there that "whatever you do to the least of these, you have done to me". Guess what parents! When you treat your kids like this, you are treating God like that! I pity you! I pity the fact that one day you will have to answer for the way you have treated your kids! And I pray that you get the justice you deserve!

Sorry webmasters for going off and for using the language I used. I haven't talked like this in years, but this is a hot button for me. I get into a lot of trouble when I'm out and about in stores and see a parent yelling and/or cursing at their child. One of these days I'm probably going to get punched - but I will not keep silent! The treatment that ICECrAP pushes parents to do to their kids is abuse - pure and simple! And I refuse to hold my tongue when I see it going on!

To those of you who are experiencing this treatment or have in the past - please know that I am thinking of you and praying for things to change. Especially that your parents wake up and seek your forgiveness for the treatment they have given you! NOTHING a child does - NOTHING - warrants throwing your kids out on the streets! The atrocities that are out there... it just makes me shudder! And want to scream and rip out Bob's eyes with my bare hands. Not much gets me this worked up.

#bob meehan #meehan #enthusiastic sobriety #clint stonebraker #enthusiastic sobriety programs #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #homelessness #homeless #troubled teen industry #parents #buyer beware #troubled teen #cult #cult survivor #believe survivors #2004 #discussion #the insight program #the crossroads program #the cornerstone program #the pathway program #the full circle program #family #breaking code silence

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

“Vocabulary Reform.”Originally posted on OnTheEmmis.com circa 2005. ICECAP is the former incorporation of Enthusiastic Sobriety Programs. It has since dissolved due to the efforts of survivors from OnTheEmmis.com

okay so I know that vocabulary reforms have been discussed in the past, but I personally would like to see another discussion here.

Changing of words and their meanings is one characteristic of a cult. "loaded language" maintains the "us vs them" philosophy utilized in Meehan et al's cult, ICECAP.

Many examples are words that are made up for cultic purposes, and others are standard english, with loaded context in order to insure sub-ordinance and total-ism.

I am writing an essay on Meehan's programs, which purposes are of my own *wink*.

i would appreciate any submissions, but would like to focus more on loaded language than on buzz words such as "hot carl" and the likes. (although inclusion of these could be funny).

CULT:

usually a totalitarian group which uses the tenets of thought reform in order to gain complete submission into a communal group preaching new-age or philosophical/religious ideals.

ICECAP's "cult means something more to the effect of "a group of people gathered together for a common cause". Acceptance of this definition ensures a mental brick-wall to any member being told they are, in fact, in a cult.

--------------

RESENTMENT:

usually a long-term anger, justified or unjustified.

ICECAP's definition adds to this, stating that Resentment is strictly unjustified, obsessive anger that turns it's possessor into a base-level, un-evolved being less that human. the term is generally pointed towards people that disagree with one or all ICECAP philosophies.

----------------

WINNERS:

ICECAP uses this positive word to label its own members. Cult members are encouraged to "stick with winners", meaning the group, and avoid all others. The sad assumption in this use of the term is that if you aren't a winner, you're a loser, and this black-and-white view furthers the groups totalistic ends.

-------------------

GNARLY:

surfer buzzword, taken by ICECAP to be a compliment of spiritual evolved-ness.

------------------

EMMIS:

ICECAP's word that means a promise never to be broken. This can, and has, served as a means for ICECAP higher-ups to achieve a super-ordination over it's members. (...ever been asked to "emmis" not to tell a secret? I have). Breaking an Emmis can result in a total loss of credibility.

---------------

HIGHER POWER:

used in AA to refer to one's sense of a God or benevolent supreme being/force.

Used in ICECAP to refer to the group, or the love of the group. This instills a totalistic trust i a member for his/her group and it's control over his/her life.

---------------

COUSELOR:

usually refers to an individual that has undergone extensive training in psychology, thousands of hours of training, and is an expert and helping people with psychological and/or addictions disorders.

ICECAP's use of the term refers to an indoctrinated recruiting expert who has both been through the cult's hierarchy and had minimal training in ICECAP addictions, and no realistic certification or degree. This term is used for staff members to gain credibility with new parents and members.

---------------------

LOVE:

ambiguous in its own definition, Love is generally characterized as a genuine appreciation for a person or object, or as a caring for another.

ICECAP's terming of Love involves the reformation of personal ideals to adherence with the group. It also refers to the "Love-Bombing" typically experienced by new members or IOP members. ICECAP systematically manipulates feelings of caring in order to achieve a heightened morale within the group and to achieve an effective indoctrination of all members. People say "love is blind", and this form of love-bombing can thus "blind" members to the detriment of involvement with this group.

--------------------------

FEAR:

a phobia or strong and unpleasant discomfort about a particular subject matter or situation.

ICECAP uses the term FEAR to signify all emotions other than love. This is a totalistic view of the emotions, used for purpose of expulsion of negative feelings within the group (or at least the acknowledgment of their existence). The result is a tranced euphoria associated with inclusion in the cult. Furthermore, the existence of FEAR within a member is prodded to be a symptom of spiritual-sickness, and the expression of negative emotions is hampered.

-----------------------

will write more when I have some time. please, post 'em if you got 'em.

#enthusiastic sobriety programs #enthusiastic sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #2005 #cult #bob meehan #clint stonebraker #meehan #believe survivors #troubled teen industry #thought reform #undue influence #troubled teen #breaking code silence

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Originally posted OnTheEmmis.com 3/4/05

F alse 

E vents 

A ppearing 

R eal 

This is what the group is. It is a false event appearing real. You are afraid to leave, afraid of what you read here, even angry at it, afraid of what will happen if you don’t stay sober. 

I don’t know what will happen if you don’t stay sober. I do know what will happen if you leave the group. 

I also know what can happen if you stay. 

The ENTIRE group is false. Your records have likely been falsified. - F.E.A.R. 

Your STORY has likely been falsified, slowly, methodically, over time. You probably don’t even notice anymore - F.E.A.R. 

You are afraid of your dope fiend thinking. F.E.A.R.!!! It’s actually JUST YOUR OWN THINKING - YOUR OWN FEELINGS - THESE ARE OKAY TO HAVE. 

God I am filled with such anguish at the thought of YOU being AFRAID. They teach you F.E.A.R. Please, *please* use what they have taught you to take a look at your reality, your events. 

Parents, your child is in a program where everything is PRETEND. 

They are PRETEND counselors, pretending to treat your child for what is likely a PRETEND diagnosis. 

False Events Appearing Real 

Your child is not a new, improved person. They are pretending. Unconsciously playing a role, because they have been trapped by F.E.A.R. and had their budding sense of identity clawed and ripped out of them and replaced with a manufactured sense of self. 

False Events Appearing Real. 

But you see, so many of us have stopped living in F.E.A.R. 

We like our lives, and deal with the choices we make. WE make. 

Please, make the choice to take a step away from a False Event Appearing Real, and take a look at reality. 

Come on in, the water’s fine. 

#Bob meehan #meehan #clint stonebraker #enthusiastic sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety program #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #cult #cult survivor #believe survivors #fear #troubled teen industry #troubled teen #breaking code silence #esa #tti #2005

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Irrational Ideas - Originally posted by a survivor circa 2005 on OnTheEmmis.com, the first Meehan survivor website / discussion forum.

I am now going to turn my sights on a bulleted list composed by Albert Ellis, PhD, and it is quite striking how much these DISORDERS are linked to counseling technique in ICECAP.

Dr. Ellis was not an expert in Cults or Deprogramming. HE WAS, however, one of the premier thinkers in Developmental Psychology, and many of the bullets posted below he likens to Moral Irrationality experienced by children and Adolescents. These Irrational Ideas are only considered abnormal if carried into adulthood.

The disturbing thing I witnessed here is rooted in 4 observations:

1) It is very possible, easy even, to use these Irrational ideas to manipulate someone, specifically a disenfranchised youth.

2) Manipulating a youth, and conditioning them to carry these ideas past childhood results in two things... "brainwashing", as well as Emotional Upset.

3) Bob Meehan and his program's staff commonly and unabashedly encourage these concepts on, guess who, Disenfranchised youths.

4) Severe Emotional Upset is almost always experienced upon leaving ICECAP, whatever the circumstance. My theory is that only then does the youth, now and ADULT, has to learn the hard way that these ideas are completely irrational.

-------------

I will now list Dr. Ellis's bullets below, with a brief excerpt to show my proposed prevalence to Mr. Meehan's "Counseling Techniques":

"Irrational Ideas Which Cause Emotional Upset" (1-8)

----------

1. You must have love or approval from all people you find Significant.

-In ICECAP, you commonly are only as healthy as your counselor, sponsor, and the group at large thinks you are. You must have approval if you are to be okay, accepted, and loved. Many are blackballed for being insubordinate, and they are thus deprived of all love and approval.

-----------

2. You must prove thoroughly competent, adequate, and achieving in most things you do.

-Mistakes in ICECAP can mean the deprivation of love, insults, exile, or firing. Mistakes are not tolerated, and oftentimes include another IOP or ridicule.

-------------

3. When people act obnoxiously/unfairly, you should damn them and see them as bad wicked, etc.

-How is it that when someone chooses to leave the group, they all get high??? They are no longer acceptable to hang out with. They are now a "Them".

---------------

4. You have to view things as awful/terrible/catastrophic when you get treated unfairly/rejected/frustrated.

-In my time in ICECAP, every time something bad happened, or if I made a mistake, the only way to clear my reputation and avoid a deprivation of love was to dramatize the event, talk "serious" about it to most everyone I knew, and humble myself to their subsequent abuses.

---------------

5. The idea that emotional misery comes from external pressures and that you have little ability to control your feelings.

- This is a little tricky. In ICECAP, if I was miserable... it was only MY fault. If someone wronged me, and I was mad/sad, it was all my fault. But here I venture to say that the dynamic of the group (being that what other think of you is your actual value, see #1) FUNCTIONS as an external pressure that will work to made you happy, or make you wish you were dead. They really did have the control to make your life hell if they saw fit.

-------------

6. If something seems dangerous or fearful, you MUST preoccupy yourself with it, and be anxious until it is solved.

- Countless times, when I had a "problem" (in quotes b/c most of my shortcomings that were brought up in the group were fabricated or dramatized)... I had to focus my whole spiritual being on it, and work through it in hundreds of one-on-ones, humility, ridicule, and finally resolution. But, important here, is that when I had an issue, I was required to focus completely on it and grieve.

---------------

7. You may more easily avoid facing many life difficulties and self-responsibilities than face/overcome them.

- Hello? Being discouraged to go to school? Being told to disregard my parents/my family? What about broken loyalty towards friendship? Love-interests? Disobeying the law?

---------------

8. The idea that your past remains all important and that because something once strongly influenced your life, it has to keep determining your feelings and behavior today.

- Wow, that's a big one. This works in a couple dimensions:

A. You are encouraged to embellish your story prior to ICECAP involvement, indirectly/directly.

B. You are reminded constantly that you were once a bad person, and ICECAP made you better, so you must Pay them back (reaching out to newcomers etc/working staff for free). This is also to facilitate further indoctrination.

after graduation:

C. You are told that You owe ICECAP a debt for "saving your life". Alumni are encouraged to go to alum meetings, and then ICECAP can STILL keep within them an irrational belief to "dance with the one that Brung" them.

D. You become embittered, resentful after leaving and realizing that all your ideals are irrational, and you get emotionally distressed. Thus this last belief (#8) dictates that for a period, ICECAP does still have a piece of control over you. Hell, it's been 3 yrs and I'm mad as hell.

-----------------------------------------------

Please, if you have more examples or responses pertaining to this, I would love to hear it. This interests me greatly, while it sickened me to see that Meehan's group was centered around keeping me in an Irrational phase of adolescence until my 20s, thus causing much emotional Upset in my life afterwards.

#meehan #bob meehan #clint stonebraker #enthusiastic sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety programs #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #troubled teen industry #troubled teen #cults #cult survivor #believe survivors #the crossroads program #the pathway program #the full circle program #mind control #undue influence #2005 #breaking code silence

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Parent Manipulation Part 2 - Originally posted in 2005 OnTheEmmis.com, a Meehan Program Survivor Website and Discussion Forum. (ICECAP is the former incorporation of enthusiastic sobriety programs, it has since dissolved due to the effectiveness of OnTheEmmis.com)

So what’s the harm?

Well, it’s a dishonest way to make a living, for starters, and that is the very least of the harm done to people.

Let’s start by looking at the staff.

ICECAP has several lines for the skeptic who attempts to question the professionalism and integrity of their general staff.

“I may not be a doctor, but I’ve had my face in the ground long enough to know what the dirt looks like” is the sort of catch-phrase one may encounter when asking about ICECAP staff qualifications. The idea is one borrowed from Alcoholics Anonymous, that only a drunk can help another drunk. AA has been widely successful in rehabilitating alcoholics based on this principal, in which the catalyst is that one’s experiences lends him/her the ability to identify with the ‘alcoholic who still suffers’.

Further, the staff of ICECAP claims to function therapeutically from the platform of Alcoholics Anonymous principals and spiritual conditioning. The reason for all of this is so the ICECAP staff and methodology has a credible ‘foundation’ to justify its hiring and facilitation of non professional counselors. In short, AA is a household name, and is widely recognized as something that works. ICECAP uses this fact as a springboard for its operations.

The big problem with that idea is that ICECAP programs are not in any way similar to, affiliated with, kind of like, or even remotely in any way like AA. Alcoholics Anonymous is a non-profit self-help environment which has many safeguards cemented into its foundations that prevent any sort of ‘ego’ or for-profit interests from plaguing its members. Specifically, what AA refers to as ‘The Twelve Traditions’ are rigidly adhered to and aggressively enforced as guidelines to keep the AA name from anything that would divert the program from its primary purpose. The only similarity between ICECAP and AA is that they both have their members often form in a circle at the beginning and at the end of their meetings. Beyond that the two are apples and oranges.

Anyone who spends more than six months in both programs can easily see the canyon of differences that separate the two programs. The truth is, ICECAP drops the name of AA when it is convenient for them to do so, and rarely if ever gives the program any real credence.

“We are not AA, we are not trying to be AA, and we don’t play by the same rules as AA” (-direct quote- Michael C. Stonebraker, director and board member of ICECAP).

Ask ANY graduate from ICECAP, and they will tell you that a common dilemma that nearly every graduate experiences after leaving ICECAP and moving on to AA is that they are troubled with the inherent differences between the two groups philosophy’s for recovery. After years of ICECAP meetings, they are confronted with having to adjust to an entirely different program. In fact, most would say you are not off the mark if you suggested that it would have made just as much sense for them to graduate ICECAP into a monastery, or a school for lion tamers; instead of AA. They all have about the same in common: nothing.

Shouldn’t a program that claims to operate out of AA’s principals lend an easier transition to its clients from its rooms to AA itself?

I am painting this picture to illustrate that there is really nothing holding much water in ICECAP’s claim that its staff has credibility to function with kids from ideas that it ‘borrows’ from AA. To whatever extent a particular staff member of ICECAP attends or postures themselves as AA members, they do not deliver the principals of AA in a therapeutic manner to their clientele.

So what does that leave them with? Not much. The average ICECAP counselor is a high school drop out with no college or accredited training whatsoever. If asked for their credentials, they will respond with an array of phrases and ideas, all of which are meant to lead one away from any real answer. They will suggest with confidence and bravado that since they ‘come from the same place’ as their clients, they have an ‘edge’ in dealing with them the rest of the ‘professional’ community doesn’t. All of this can be very convincing to a parent, especially since their child seems to have taken so well to the given staff member. Again, this is ICECAP using the ‘unorthodox is better’ angle to begin the process of manipulation.

If long hair, dated language, concert t-shirts, a pretty face and a proletarian understanding of AA principals were all it took to rehabilitate a drug addict, then the world would be free of drug addiction tomorrow. The problem is that that is pretty much the only thing the average ICECAP counselor has going for him/her in terms of professionalism. They are funny and good looking. They know how to say ‘dude’ without looking like an old nerd. Kids love them and worship them. But they are INEPT AT ASSISTING THEM TO RECOVER FROM REAL DRUG ADDICTION!

So what then, does the average ICECAP counselor provide for a kid, if not sound professional guidance into the world of recovery?

Here are some of my observations on ICECAP provisions:

Kids in ICECAP are subjected to enormous pressure to take on the identity of a ‘dope fiend’. The ‘dope fiend’ model is constantly being illustrated to newcomers by staff and group members. It begins with traits that a lot of teens possess…rebellious action/ideation, foul language, ‘shock value’ expressionism, etc. But the irresponsible thing that ICECAP does with kids is that it sets them up to feel inadequate if they do not measure up to the complete profile of ICECAP’s ‘dope fiend’. The reason that this is such a bad idea is because the majority of ICECAP clientele are NOT ‘dope fiends’. If your kid is in ICECAP for any period of time, you will see a mental, physical and emotional change in them. Most parents (especially the ones who have invested thousands of dollars into this) view this as a good thing. If the changes in the child were not for the worst, I would agree with them. However, these changes include almost invariably the following:

Separation from school/education/career

Increased use of tobacco. Non-smokers will be encouraged to take up smoking (bizarre, but true).

The decline of a coherent or educated vocabulary. This is no joke. There is a rigid ‘dummied up’ dialect spoken by every member of ICECAP.

The encouragement of illegal behavior (curfew violations, trespassing, vandalism, underage smoking, etc.).

Limited exposure to outside influences. Music, films, books, clothes, sources of education, hairstyles, jewelry, where you get a cup of coffee, tattoos, leisure activities and more are all mandated by ICECAP doctrine.

Maladjusted/confused sexual behavior (more on this later)

One dimensional thinking/ apparent inability or unwillingness to think diversely or with any complexity.

Extremely narrow elements of thoughts applied to a very wide range of ‘life factors’, or; every problem life presents seems to have the same two or three things as an answer/rationale.

Constant fear of being ‘fucked up’, or ‘spiritually bankrupt’. ‘Negative’ actions by other people are consistently the result of these things.

Inconsistent/erratic emotional responses to seemingly normal situations.

Why would a kid willingly subject themselves to this?

The hook for teens is fairly obvious: Their parents leave them alone, they no longer have to go to school, they are allowed to smoke cigarettes, swear, and die their hair indigo blue if they want to, and there is usually a large enough pool of attractive peers to make the whole idea of ICECAP treatment not sound so bad.

Ask any current group member, and they will tell you that they do not feel controlled…that it is their choice to attend ICECAP. They will defend their positions with feverish resolve. They will claim moral high ground and a better way of life as what motivates them to ‘keep coming back’. Tell them that they are brainwashed, and they will respond by saying ‘well, maybe my brain could use a little washing…considering how sick I was’. Tell them they live their life in a ‘bubble’, and they will respond by saying ‘if this is a bubble, than I’m glad I’m in it…compared to the sick world I was a part of before!’

Two things are happening here: First, the child is offered nearly unlimited freedom, which in most cases is like a dream come true to them. What fifteen year old would turn that down? Second, instead of providing competent therapy or treatment, each kid is given this ‘dope fiend’ model, and as long as they adhere to this model, than they are ‘ok’. Everything that made Johnny ‘Johnny’ will be whittled away as he progresses through the ranks of ICECAP. He will attribute the changes to ‘getting rid of old behavior’, or ‘changing old tapes’, when in fact he is being herded and molded in a way that only a program facilitated by foolish, irresponsible amateurs can handle.

The sickest thing about this to me is the way they are manipulated by ICECAP into such devotion. The adolescent is such an impressionable creature, and everything that can possibly be used to woo them is carefully applied by ICECAP.

In Bob Meehan’s book, ‘Beyond the Yellow Brick Road’, there is a chapter called ‘The Teenage Psyche’. This is another decent chapter in this book. I’d encourage anyone to read it, because it perfectly illustrates what I am saying. If there is one thing that Meehan certainly has his finger on the pulse of, it’s what will attract a teenager. The ‘dope fiend’ model in which Meehan’s programs are forced to operate out of because of their gross lack of sound professional tools combined with the fact that ICECAP targets kids who are NOT ‘dope fiends’ creates a crippling environment for teenagers who would have otherwise just gone on with life.

Why would Meehan build his programs on such weak foundations professionally? To me that’s simple: Cheap labor. It’s not so hard morally to build a staff out of a bunch of negligent weirdoes like Mike Weiland, when your real aim has nothing to do with helping kids in the first place.

I believe that Bob Meehan has had two objectives from the very beginning. One was to satisfy his enormous ego, which he had never been able to accomplish prior to these programs. More importantly and certainly more dangerously, he wants money. It is no coincidence that every single person on the ICECAP payroll has been farmed from the group. These kids spend years trying to live up to those they believe (because they are told) are the most spiritually evolved humans on the planet (staff), and then picked to become the next generation of over-worked, under-paid servants of Bob Meehan’s empire.

Who pays the price? You, and more importantly…your kid.

And what of the rare occasion that a true addict walks through the doors of ICECAP?

It’s even worse for them. Many of them die.

#bob meehan #meehan #enthusiastic sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #clint stonebraker #Mike weiland #cult #cult survivor #cult leader #cults #breaking code silence #troubled teen industry #tti #survivor #ptsdsupport #the insight program #the cornerstone program #the crossroads program #the pathway program #the full circle program

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Parent Manipulation Part 1 - Originally posted in 2005 OnTheEmmis.com, a Meehan Program Survivor Website and Discussion Forum. (ICECAP is the former incorporation of enthusiastic sobriety programs, it has since dissolved due to the effectiveness of OnTheEmmis.com)

Part of ICECAP’s selling point is just HOW unorthodox they are. Counselors are trained to peddle the ‘shock’ value of a non-traditional program. It makes sense to many parents, because they see the professional community pathetically limping in the dust of young drug addicts in America today. Then they see ICECAP. Within its walls are dozens of young souls who are just absolutely ecstatic about being there. Where else is this happening in the world of rehab? While I am sure these places exist, my experience has been that they are few and far between.

ICECAP milks that point to no end. On the surface, I can see it being very difficult to deny that any ICECAP facility is producing some kind of positive results. Desperate and nearly to the point of hopelessness, many parents are willing to cloud their better judgment for the sake of something…ANYTHING that will help their children recover from their current nightmares. To these parents, ICECAP is a godsend. They see something different…that is apparently working, and they submit to the fever of potential miracles.

Even the skeptical parent will have a hard time denying the lure of ICECAP. Eventually they become involved with the parent group, and there they meet average Joe Dad and Jane Mom, who are just like them and are saying all these wonderful things about ICECAP. All the red flags are carefully lowered and the cautious and suspicious parents are disarmed through a process that involves the meticulous coordination of staff/parent group/younger group/client and then finally parent…though not always in that order. They have an answer for everything…from the late nights and no school, to the smoking and irresponsible lifestyle. All the answers make sense and seem so logical…

If I may, I would like to take some (a lot of) posting space to poke some holes in this seemingly infallible construction of moral high ground and loving happiness that ICECAP claims to be delivering from.

To begin, ICECAP is in fact extremely attractive. Not just because of the reasons I pointed out above, but for many reasons. Walk down the hall and through the doors of an ICECAP meeting. What do you see? A bunch of cool guys wearing slick clothes, hot girls adorned in the latest fads that the mall has to offer, rock star counselors and smiling suburban parents. Wow.

What you don’t see is the ugly sight of a genuine crack head detoxing. You don’t see the sickness of heroin withdrawal, or the brutality of the world that real addiction and drug abuse/alcoholism has to reveal. Rarely, if ever, will you find in ICECAP the wild madness and insanity that drug addiction has to offer humanity. When these unfortunates do happen to stumble through ICECAP’s door, they almost invariably do not recover there. I know, because I have seen it, but more on that later.

I find it interesting that ICECAP targets white middle/upper middle class families almost exclusively. There is absolutely no effort by ICECAP to reach beyond this demographic at all. Why? When you think about it, wouldn’t someone who comes from the depraved background that Meehan claims to come from be at least slightly interested in helping those whose stories are more like his? How many ICECAP clients are repeated felons, heroin junkies, or murderers? Almost none of them are. In my opinion, this set up is the first element of being disarmed that a parent encounters.

What wealthy, or semi wealthy parent wants their kid in a place where a bunch of ex-violent criminals hang out at? My guess is that when presented with the ICECAP pitch, which at nearly every ICECAP facility includes the line about how they do not accept insurance; your average suburban upper tax-bracket parent takes a silent sigh of relief. If they don’t accept insurance, then they know that the place does not harbor certain ‘undesirables’, because those types of people would never be able to afford ICECAP treatment. In that there is a certain mutual agreement of ‘silence’ going on between the parent and ICECAP. ‘We won’t ask why this facility is full of white suburban kids as long as you keep my kid around safe white suburban kids’.

That would be fine except for one thing: the reason there are so many ‘attractive’ kids from well-off families in ICECAP is because ICECAP primarily does not target true drug addicts. If they did, you would certainly see more of those ‘ugly’ cases that I mentioned above. The truth is; ICECAP primarily targets kids who have quite commonly and naturally stumbled into experimentation with mind altering substances. Left to their own devices, I am of the opinion that most of the kids that become involved in ICECAP would have gone through their adolescence just fine, despite some dabbling in the drug and alcohol culture.

I realize that it may sound as though I am condoning the use of drugs and alcohol by adolescents to some extent. Believe me; I know there are kids out there, even particularly young ones; that need some sort of intervention and rehabilitation when it comes to drugs and alcohol. However, there are few of those kids in ICECAP.

To put what I am saying into perspective, let me share with you an experience I had when I was 15.

I was at a party full of teens from my high school. There were perhaps 50-60 kids at this get-together. Every one of them were drinking and/or smoking pot, many of them were participating in sexual activities, and every single one of them WANTED to and was trying to do all of the above. This was not a party exclusively for ‘dope fiends’ or ‘freaks’ or anything like that. Most of the kids at this shindig were truly just your average high school teens, and many of them were at an identical party just a week before. Many of them would be at an identical party the next week.

Tell me, what seems to make more sense to you: That EVERY ONE of these kids was in need of being yanked out of school and subjected to an outpatient rehabilitation facility, or that they were for the most part kids being kids? I can’t say that I’ve kept up with each of those teens at that party, but I find it really hard to believe that they are every one of them sitting in gutters right now with needles hanging out of their arms.

The truth is that almost NO PARENT likes the idea that THEIR kid is in fact one of those kids at that party. However unfortunate it may be, chances are your kid IS one of those kids. ICECAP knows this, and knows it well.

The truth is that as far as ICECAP is concerned, every single one of those kids at that party IS fit for and IN NEED of their $6,000 outpatient program.

Of the 50-60 kids that were at that particular party, each one of them has one of two kinds of parents that could potentially find themselves in an ICECAP intervention: The ‘worried sick and hopeless parent’, and the ‘clueless’ parent. ICECAP has a brilliant line for both of these types of encounters.

For the worried sick and hopeless parent, they are already full of fear; so that is one obstacle that the given ICECAP counselor does not have to overcome, and can proceed directly to its exploitation. After meeting for over an hour with their child, the counselor then asks the parent/parents to then sit down with him, without the child. They are usually first presented with the structure of ‘enthusiastic sobriety’, and then carefully guided through the counselor’s ‘diagnosis’ of the child, at which point the fear they walked in with is thoroughly taken advantage of. He tells them, ‘first of all, to what extent you THINK your child is using, you can safely double or triple that. Your son/daughter has been for quite some time falling into the pitfalls of a very attractive and powerful drug and alcohol counter culture. It is nearly impossible to wrench young people today from the grip of this diseased phenomenon once they are into it to the extent that your child is. I know this because…’ At which point the counselor shares a true or untrue account of his own experiences with drugs and the drug culture. By the time he is finished, thanks to all of that plus clever little catch-phrases such as ‘true, Billy/Jenny may not be shooting heroin today, but at his/her rate of progression, you can bet on that nightmare down the road’ the parent has gone from being terrified to utterly mortified. The hook has been cast at this point, and it is here that the counselor begins to discuss the ‘solution’.

A recap of how brilliantly ‘enthusiastic sobriety’ competes with this vaunted ‘counter culture’ is usually in order here, followed by a description of outpatient. Another testimony by the counselor involving his own experience with IOP is conveyed, and then the cost.

If the parent is reluctant, or can’t afford it, emotional blackmailing goes into overdrive here, and is perhaps the most insidious aspect of the ‘intervention’. The parent/parents is told in so many words that their son/daughter will DIE if they do not get the ‘intensive level’ of ‘necessary treatment’ that outpatient provides, that the support group alone cannot hope to accomplish.

If the parent continues to flounder after this underhanded attempt to ‘guilt’ them into paying for IOP, then the counselor will usually back down and explain that while he feels the support group (just meetings and functions) is at this point a ‘disservice’ to the child, if that is all they can do then that’s the route they’ll go. He convinces the parent to attend parent meetings and functions rigorously for at least 30 days (same commitment as the kid), and thanks them for their time.

None of this ends here, of course. After the parent has left, this is what a ‘good’ counselor does:

He offers the name of the parent to either the ‘parent coordinator’ or a trusted parent on steering committee. He tells them that he felt as though the kid really needed IOP, but Mom/Dad couldn’t afford it or was skeptical of the idea, and that he would like this ICECAP parent to ‘work on them’. As the ‘intervention’ parent continues to attend parent meetings, they are relentlessly pushed by other parents at the direction of the parent coordinator to figure out a way to get their son/daughter into IOP.

Meanwhile, the kid is going to meetings and being told by other kids that he/she should go into IOP…that it is the ‘coolest’, and you really get the ‘gnarly’ shit about the group in IOP. This will turn from innocent prodding to downright peer pressure very quickly, and eventually the kid is going home and asking, sometimes begging mom/dad to get them in IOP.

If by now the parent is still not willing to do the $6,000 dollar shuffle, what usually occurs is sad and much of what continues to anger me about ICECAP’s tactics. The counselor will keep tabs with the parent, keeping them updated and developing a ‘relationship’ with the parent. Often, this is what goes down: The kid feels so much pressure from both staff and peers to attend IOP that he/she will quickly realize (usually with the help of the counselor), the reasons why he/she cannot go. Kids aren’t stupid, and Billy knows that either mom doesn’t think his problem is serious enough, or she just isn’t willing to call up grandpa for the dough. So he goes out and gets high one night.

The counselor, of course is ALL OVER THIS ‘relapse’, and schedules an appointment immediately with the family. After 30 minutes of what pretty much amounts to ‘I told ya so’ from the counselor, the parent takes out a second mortgage or calls up grandpa or takes out a line of credit and coughs up the $6,000 for outpatient.

ICECAP staff would argue that these are merely ‘imperative measures’ to take in order to ‘help this kid get better’, to ‘save his/her life’. I argue that this is a carefully constructed sequence of manipulation to paint a false picture of a fairly normal kid as a ‘dope fiend’ in order to sucker well-off families out of six grand.

The ‘clueless’ parent is dealt with in almost the same way, except the counselor must first instill the fear into the parents who have ‘no idea’ that their kid is so ‘sucked in to the world of drug and alcohol abuse’.

I challenge anyone to tell me the story of the family who was told: ‘Your kid really doesn’t have much of an issue. He/she could probably be a bit wiser about what friends they choose, maybe come to some meetings and see a more positive lifestyle…but really they don’t need intensive treatment from us…’ by ICECAP.

The only instance that I can think of in the ten years I was involved with ICECAP, was that of a young man who convincingly conveyed to everyone that he truly was a non-abuser, and that he simply went to a meeting to see a friend. IOP was not pushed on to this kid or his family, but being on staff at the time, I can tell you that the idea to somehow worm this kid into treatment was definitely kicked around.

I went into this aspect of ICECAP as the first part to a series about the structure of ICECAP and its functions. The intent is to provide sound knowledge and information to potential or current clients of ICECAP. The reason I wanted to expose this particular area of ICECAP’s doctrine first is because I believe that there are more clients there who fall into this school of thought than any other. These are the kids who aren’t quite ‘non-abusers’ as ICECAP would like to call them, but certainly aren’t ‘dope fiends’ as ICECAP would have you believe.

Next I intend to focus on the consequences of these manipulative tactics. Where’s the harm? If they never are at one of those high school parties ever again and spend the next two to five years of their lives steeped in the principals of love, patience and understanding…then what’s so bad about it?

PLENTY.

To be continued…

#enthusiastic sobriety #bob meehan #meehan #clint stonebraker #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #breaking code silence #troubled teen industry #parents #tti #the insight program #the crossroads program #the pathway program #the cornerstone program #the full circle program #rehab #troubled teen

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Originally Posted OnTheEmmis.com - 2005 Meehan Survivor Website / Discussion Forum. (ICECAP used to be the “board” of enthusiastic sobriety programs - it has since dissolved due to OnTheEmmis)

Put very simply, this is how your child is most likely responding to ICECAP's idea of 'unconditional love':

When I was 17, I had absolutely no desire to quit getting high.

My parents discovered Meehan and his ways, and so I was confronted with the ultimatum that we are all familiar with: Go to ICECAP or hit the road.

Well, I certainly was NOT going to be eating out of trash cans and scrounging up tree branches for warmth. I was a typical ICECAP kid; from a middle class family and hardly beyond experimenting with drugs.

So, as a teenager in full-rebellion mode, I found myself cornered, coerced, actually forced to submit to the ICECAP program, or face the brutal alternative.

Blackmail sucks, and rarely benefits anyone in the end.

So, what I did is I pretended to subscribe to the WHOLE ICECAP thing.

Except it wasn't really working. I still wanted to get high. I fumbled in my attempts to do so, not being able to account for my whereabouts at times, continuing to be a jerk, still wearing all black and listening to very questionable music.

So I got caught with some pot, just as ICECAP counselors had predicted would happen if I didn't get outpatient.

Again, I was given an ultimatum: OP or starvation.

So I went to outpatient, which believe it or not was the ultimate answer to my dilemma.

In outpatient, I was taught a little thing called the 'parent game', which by one name or another is to this day taught in ICECAP treatment. No other lesson or way of thinking is given more time or energy within ICECAP treatment than 'The Parent Game'.

The Parent Game involves teens being taught how to please their parents. They are told that sitting down for dinner, cleaning your room, saying 'I love you', and going to ICECAP religiously are things worth the unlimited freedom your parents would be willing to offer if you just did them.

So I tried out these new lessons. Sure enough, my OP counselor was right! I said 'I love you', smiled a lot, sat down at the table for dinner, gave out hugs and wore 'ICECAP' attire (not so much all the black, but a cheesy 'love round robin '93 t-shirt and blue jeans). As a result I was given unlimited freedom. My parents bought me cigarettes and gave me cash for the functions. They reported to my OP counselor and were very pleased with the fabulous results ICECAP was having with me. I was a new kid. I had been saved!

In more ways then one, actually. You see, no matter what ultimatum my parents could have proposed, I wanted to get loaded. I loved smokin' dope. It was always a very hard thing to do...until I got into OP.

My OP counselor, like just about all ICECAP OP counselors, was a caring, loving guy who was cool and funny and nice and neat and liked cool music and had long hair someone who didn't know the first thing about a kid getting high all the time.

What OP had accomplished for me was the perfect route to get high virtually unhindered, and that's precisely what I did.

My parents, on the direction of ICECAP staff (oh, so competent!) left me almost ENTIRELY alone. They 'trusted', did not 'get into my shit' and 'let me be a dope fiend kid'.

Add to that I no longer had to go to school, get a job, or do anything except go for four hours a day to OP and throw McDonald's french fries at Kata 6.

It was a pot head's dream come true.

I went through OP, the group, and spent just about a year on steering committee...all the time smoking pot whenever the hell I could, which was just about whenever the hell I wanted to.

When the truth came out (I eventually copped), my father simply stated, "If he has been getting high this whole year, if that is true, them I will personally buy him his dope".

Of course he didn't really mean that, though it would have been nice, the point is that while ICECAP did nothing in regards to getting me clean, they did wonders in teaching me how to fool my parents.

Many kids aren't such coniving little full of shit pricks like I was. Many kids, like yours, perhaps, are not going to fake it. It takes a lot of energy, and besides, most teens have a lot more integrity than I did.

Chances are your kid, if they are determined to get high (or: in actual need of a little help, such as I was) if presented with ICECAP's ultimatum are going to tell you to shove your ultimatum up your ass, and split. ICECAP will work tirelessly to convince you to assist voluntarily in the starvation, exposure, and eventual death of your own kid.

"Well, I would never..." You might say now...but ICECAP uses some great, very convincing, though false, rhetoric such as bold, self-riteous sounding phrases like 'unconditional love' and 'love is not accepting wrong behavior'...

Well I have news for you parents...love is ALSO not abandoning every responsibility you owe to your child as a parent, and leaving the job to an insane weirdo like Mike fucking Weiland, who is I GUARANTEE better at explaining to your kid why it is your kids fault Mike was late for their appointment than having a shred of a clue on how to professionally, competently assist your child in dealing with his/her problems, the least of which (most likely) is their drug use.

You think my story is isolated? Ask Jessica Cramsey how long she was on SC before she copped to have been getting loaded the whole time.

Ask the guy who I was on SC with the whole time, and getting high with the whole time, how 'isolated' my story is.

The truth is, in ICECAP, you as a parent HAVE NO IDEA whether or not your kid is sober or blowing old men for crack on weekdays.

The reason you HAVE NO IDEA is because one, your kid is conning you whether he/she is getting high or not, and two, because ICECAP completely hijacks your job as a parent.

AHHH. The cult think is breaking through now...telling you how wrong I am...telling you that I am just a bitter ex-counselor, probably getting high, not MY kid, I would know if MY kid...really? How would you know? Honestly, tell me, how would you know?

I guarantee that you do not. You have freely offered you natural role, that of a PARENT, to an unlicensed amateur. You have surrendered your instincts ('lack of trust') your experience ('your best thinking got you here') and your love for your child ('unconditional love') into the hands of one Robert G. Meehan. A self-proclaimed murderer with a dead son.

#bob meehan #ICECAP #troubled teen industry #enthusiastic sobriety #enthusiastic sobriety abuse #parents #tti #breaking code silence #meehan #clint stonebraker