#But he’d allow himself not to

[castielmacleod]

Remember when Cas watched Dean rake leaves while invisible. Not to be dark but in my head he did that while Dean was on the nail. And just let himself watch it happen.

#In my head when Cas gets out of the Empty he one way or another recognises the abuse he suffered from Dean. And how it wasn’t love at all #And finally takes the opportunity to be free of Dean instead of going back #But I think he would go and watch Dean die. Not out of spite #Like he wouldn’t be “happy” about it #He’d probably have complex grief about it especially after everything he sacrificed to save this man over and over #But he would let himself watch just for a sense of closure. If nothing else #Idk it’s 4am #My posts #Dean critical #Safeantidestiel #And I say he’d LET himself watch because part of him would still want to swoop in and save Dean yet again #But he’d allow himself not to #And just.. finally let Dean go #He’d just watch the whole thing emotionlessly #He’d maybe feel bad for Sam. But also hopeful that Sam will be able to move on with his life without Dean controlling it #And he wouldn’t reveal himself he’d just leave and return to heaven and the remaining members of his family #And try to move on with his own life #Anyway no sympathy for abusers <3 love and light

[turtleblogatlast]

Leo as a character is deeply tied to the very concept of identity that it is deeply ingrained into every aspect of his character and in this essay I will-

#rottmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt headcanons #rise leo #rottmnt leo #no but I’m being so serious Leo and his struggles with identity are so prevalent in his story throughout the series #he’s a liar and a schemer and masks 24/7 and thinks he’s nothing without his family all while failing to establish himself outside of them #and it’s SO INTERESTING #like some of his main characteristics are his PERSONA and his SUBTERFUGE #pretty much the one interest he has that is not related to his family is magic tricks aka more persona and deception #one of the only times he goes off on his own is to get some rest and relaxation #and even then he HAPPILY changes a part of himself to even be allowed that #this is all also interesting in how he interacts with his family #he knows people and he’s good with words #his pep talks his goading they go hand in hand #and he’d rather people be annoyed or angry at him than be allowed to see the nothing he believes himself to be #Leo struggles with his identity because deception is the backbone of such a large part of it #and the other part is just him being a part of a whole #one part of a package set #his ego is built by putting on airs and is every bit as fragile as its foundation #I’ll probably add more tags later lbr I’m just so tied to Leo and Identity I could go on and on #AND ANOTHER THING but I also think for as much as Leo wants to prove himself an individual he is also TERRIFED at the thought of being known #Leo is a self sabotaging character who lowers people’s expectations as best he can on purpose

[tired-biscuit]

curious, does kiba have a prey drive? like when you're playing fighting with him or simply playing hide-and-seek?

yes, definitely!

i imagine he thinks of it as a game, despite the fact that he takes it quite seriously without even realising it.

he just knows that he likes it because it makes him feel good and more like himself. it stimulates the predatory part of his brain and sends his blood coursing faster through his veins and thus heightens every last one of his senses. it’s like he’s finally fully awake.

it’s the reason why play fighting with him nearly always ends with you suddenly pinned down on the bed even though you thought you were going to win for real this time, and why hide-and-seek makes every hair on your body stand to attention whenever he comes close to finding you and there’s this heavy anticipation buzzing in the air during it. it’s like a flick of a switch in his head; he’s awake, he’s here — he’s present. his predatory instinct gets so strong that it somehow succeeds in awakening your prey one just from the way he acts.

i also think he gets aroused by it. there’s just something about you squirming underneath him and trying to push him off even if you’re laughing while you’re fighting against him that really, i mean really gets him going. he loves you more than anything, but he also loves seeing you struggle to break free from his grip for some reason; especially because he knows you wouldn’t be able to if he applied real pressure to it.

it’s the “i could do this, i have the power to do it, but i won’t because i care about you” way of thinking. he likes being in control, it’s in his nature — at least whenever it comes to getting physical — while giving you a false sense of belief that you’re the one who’s running the entire thing. it allows him to play and mess around with you. it means that you’ll challenge him and everyone knows that he’s always been a sucker for a good challenge.

it’s kind of scary, i think. you’re giving it your all, and then all of a sudden, in a blink of an eye, he’s on you; forcing you into submission without even putting any real effort into it. to him, taking over is as simple as breathing, while you have to fight tooth and nail for it. and he doesn’t even notice it most of the time, it’s just how his brain is wired.

you forget how stronger and bigger he actually is than you because some inner part of him unconsciously wants you to forget so that he can take you by surprise. you forget how easy it is for him to take control over the entire situation and manhandle you into whatever position he wants and do with you as he pleases until he’s doing exactly that. he plays nice most of the time, he lets you have your say and he tricks you with it.

he’ll listen to your “no”, of course he will, but it’s just… the fact that it’s his choice to do so is what’s kind of uncomfortable. because if he ever does end up choosing otherwise, you won’t be able to do anything about it. after all, you’re just prey.

but he won’t, trust! he loves you.

#i think he’d be really into cnc #just the challenge it would provide and the chase #and the fight you’d put up #it would allow him to feel like an apex predator in a way and would satisfy his needs without actually hurting you #idk #just thinking thoughts #but at the same time i do think he kind of wouldn’t like that part of himself #he’d try to shove it down but it’d come back twice as strong #biscuit mail

[ninyard]

Just had a sick thought that if Jean knew who Drake was and what he did to Andrew, that means that Riko must have told him everything. Thinking about Riko’s sick, psychopathic face, how excited he would’ve been to have found Andrew’s childhood rapist, how enthusiastic he would’ve been about Proust.

And Jean just had to sit there and listen to it. He had to agree to what he had to agree to, he had to tell Riko what he wanted to hear, just to keep the peace, to avoid another beating. Jean knew Riko was orchestrating Andrew’s assault. He knew what Riko wanted Proust to do to Andrew. He knew Riko was planning to break Andrew, the unwavering force that he is, and Jean couldn’t do a single solitary thing to stop it

#I wonder if he thinks of that when he sees Andrew #knowing he was the only one who could’ve stopped it or warned someone #yet he probably lives with the weight of Andrew’s retraumatization on his shoulders #AND if we go by EC let’s not forget that proust recording himself abusing Andrew #let’s not forget Riko probably got so much joy watching Jean squirm #as he forced him to see what he’d allowed to happen #ugh #this is worded so badly but #Jean Jean Jean you KNEWWWS #Jean Moreau #Riko Moriyama #Andrew minyard #tsc #the sunshine court #aftg #tfc #all for the game #do you think when Grayson shows up #and Jean compared him to drake #that he feels like it’s karma for allowing drake to find Andrew again

[if-i-look-straight-look-again]

listen I know this isn’t likely to happen in-universe but can you imagine Alma “playing pirates since birth” Bonnet pulling up at whatever fancy girls school they’ll send her to being like “oh your father’s a governor? Mine’s a pirate” and her ultimate most deadly weapon “and you know the Dread Pirate Blackbeard? Yeah he’s my stepdad”

#let ed interact positively with children i say! #he was trying with those kids in the village he clearly meant well #let him be a good stepdad and allow himself to believe he’s nothing like his dad at all! #he sees the kids very sparingly but they love him #he’d be the fun uncle type i think #just starts building stuff with them and telling them about the clouds and the sea #alma would love him especially #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbeard #gentlebeard

[cats-obsessions]

I do wonder how much freedom Gortash had to pick his god. I’m sure Bane appealed to him for a number of reasons, particularly power, and I think he deeply admired Bane at some point. But I also do have questions about the logistics of his soul. If Raphael has a contract for Gortash, how many gods can overrule that? Maybe all of them, but how many dare? All those souls in the House of Hope surely had gods once, but did their gods forsake them? Do those who are good aligned meddle in Avernus? Or is it ranking that matters most? A chosen could have their souls kept by their god but a simple follower would not?

I will always say Gortash and Durge fully intended to rise to godhood themselves, but in the meantime, he would have to have a backup plan. And from what I can tell, Bane’s realm sounds like hell even for those he rewards, ravaged with endless wars where his best followers get to *checks notes* be generals in combat forever? Idk man, it’s very high risk and very low reward in my opinion, but I guess he really was that desperate to stay away from Raphael. I wonder if he sought out Bane or if he called out to all the gods like Astarion, and Bane was the only to respond? I wonder if he loved Bane or saw him as a coconspirator? I wonder if, in the end, he even considered Bane an equal, an ally, or if he had it in his heart to over throw him?

#I also wonder what would’ve happened to Gortash who was never sold to Raphael #I imagine he’d be more like nine fingers #like very selfish and powerful underground but allowing himself a bit more of a heart #because that boy does like order and power regardless #I wonder who he’d choose to pray to then… #I’m just obsessed with happier what ifs for villains #enver gortash #this isn’t technically #durgetash #but it’s always in my mind #lord enver gortash #Raphael #bg3 #bg3 spoilers #baldurs gate 3 #bg3 bane #cats thoughts

[designernishiki]

hm. wondering what the most likely name/pet name daigo would call mine in private is

#aside from just. his first name #something like ‘taka’ or ‘yoshi’ or some kinda babe or hon adjacent pet name #you KNOW daigo would be the only person allowed to call him anything cutesy or endearing or informal in general pretty much #rambling #feel free to reply or reblog with opinions #minedai #it’s funny that the impact/intimacy calling someone by their first name in Japanese has is like totally nullified with daigo #because so many people close to him just call him. daigo. already. because so many knew/know of #his dad and ‘dojima’ or ‘dojima-san’ is associated with Him and not daigo #similar thing with ryuji but to a bit of a lesser extent. curse of the nepo babies #daigo would be so quick to get mine to stop calling him sixth chairman or dojima-san or whatever in private I feel like he’d really not #like it when it comes to people close to him. dojima-san sounds like his dad and sixth chairman feels like a title for the version of #himself he has to put on for the public and thus feels ingenuine #but I can’t see mine going much further than ‘daigo’ when it comes to informality #unless a nickname pops up from an inside joke or something #but even then. only in private for Sure

[milflewis]

.

#in a strange place today and i need to put this somewhere. i do not have a journal yet. this is it #my grandad was diagnosed with dementia years ago and the grandad i have now is often unrecognisable from the one i grew up with #and while this like isn’t fun and it is strange for him to look at me and not know me more times than he does. it has also been kind of l #lovely? #bc he thinks my granny is still alive so whenever i get to go see him i get to pretend she is too. and she is for a minute. and tho i am #glad she went before him. it is nice to say oh i’m popping in to see her after this grandad and talk about her like she’s hasn’t been gone #since i’ve been ten. my dad has spoken more to him in the last five years than he has his whole life #he was not an easy man. he was loud and friendly and hard working and funny and scary but not easy. in ways he is even #harder now. in others he is easier. #he is more of a child. this is what dementia can do to a brain. we are learning things about his childhood that no one alive has ever spoken #about. that no one knew. my dad doesn’t love him more now but he understands him better #my grandad taught me how to drive a tractor and how to fish through my dad and he has not recognised me in over a year and he #hasn’t walked since he broke his pelvis seven years ago and his muscles are nearly all gone. he is a fraction of the size he used to be. his #personality and body took up my childhood like adults on the screen in cartoons. he hasn’t dressed himself in a decade. he told one of the #nurses that after dinner he wanted ice cream plain like herself and nearly peed when she laughed and told him to fuck off #he is in there. he is himself. i know him. but he isn’t. he doesn’t know me but he allows me to tell him how to ppl he knows are doing. he #still somehow trusts me. we talk a lot about my granny and how she stayed up watching tv again last night so she’s tired today. don’t stay #long when you call in to see her? #whenever we would journey to see him and my granny and get in v late he’d ask us if we wanted apple tart and my granny would say michael. #not ur kids. u can’t parent them. he didn’t know my name yesterday but he asked me if i wanted apple tart #i hope he dies soon. for all that i will miss this. miss my dad having this. he would not want to live like this. it wouldntbe living to him

[lunar-years]

I don't really have an issue believing Jamie was a different player under Pep. One, he just had to have been. Man City is not the mess Richmond was, and Pep wouldn't have allowed it. But two, there was a manager BETWEEN Pep and Ted that Jamie had, who allowed and encouraged Jamie to regress. There's a lot of factors going on there - Jamie, a young player, suddenly becoming the best player on the team, which he wasn't mature enough for, so he really lets the "prick" part of his personality out, helped along by his father and the way his father wants him to play and be. Then you also had CARTRICK, who wanted Jamie to be the star and for all the players to get the ball to Jamie. That was their play style. So you've got both him and Jamie's dad feeding all of that.

I think the main question really, since we know Pep would have done a good job training Jamie, and that Jamie is very talented and wouldn't have behaved the way he did in S1 back at Man City, is how did the previous Richmond coach (George?) manage to fuck up and especially fuck up with Jamie so bad that he became an entirely different player.

Putting these asks in conversation because I think second anon is maybe answered by first anon? Like, Cartrick threw Jamie into being the "team star" so that Cartrick didn't have to bother with coming up with a real strategy and then it spiraled out from there (combined with Jamie's dad and Roy totally checked-out as captain, Jamie was not at all in an environment to thrive in s1, I think that much is pretty clear).

After all these asks I am starting to see the vision about how the Pep to Richmond transition makes sense. I am definitely picking up what ya'll are putting down. But I also think what Ted did for Jamie is solidify the line between how he can act and how he should act.

Basically, I think it does go beyond just Ted rolling back Jamie's regression under Cartrick and allowing him to progress back to the "team player" he'd already always been at Man City, if that makes sense? Because there's a difference between being a team player because you are self-aware enough to realize your place as a cog in a much larger machine (which is how I assume Jamie was at Man City), and another thing to be a team player because you realize the intrinsic value in it and want to facilitate that sort of environment for the rest of your teammates, too, while in a position of influence to do so (which is the place I think he gets to, in significant part because of Ted).

#Jamie Tartt #ted lasso #ted lasso spoilers #asks #basically I think the traits he exhibited in s1 had been a part of his headspace before Richmond #even if he wasn't exercising them on the pitch at Man City (because he simply wasn't in a position to) #so i don't think he became a whole different player at Richmond so much that circumstances allowed #a version of himself that had always been lingering there even at Man City to come out for the worst #I don’t think he valued his teammates at city or had those deeper relationships there like he’s built at Richmond #and I think he’d isolated himself behind different masks before Richmond too #I don't think I'm explaining that well but yeah

[desceros]

god damn it nanowrimo starts tomorrow night and here i am thinkin about possessive bayverse leo i fkkin hate it hereeeeeeeeeeee

#text tag #once he lets himself have you he’ll break his own fingers before he lets you go #ohhhmgmgmmyggggddddd #he’d be soooo annoying about you wearing his clothes. about using the same body wash. sleeping in the same sheets. #he’d be that boyfriend that like. works you into every conversation. not even on purpose. just because he thinks about you All The Time #and everything reminds him of you. oh this is your favorite color. this is your favorite song. you love this flavor. #donnie: leo if you order one more pair of oversized shirts for your girlfriend the post office will learn where we live and i’ll kill you. #leo: [sweats bc he just placed a second then third order bc the first one Definitely wasn’t enough] #and oh God. hickies. he hates them and loves them in equal measure. he feels like an animal marking you up. #but it feels so Good every time someone looks at them and knows Leonardo Put This Here. Leo Did This. Leo Is Allowed To Do This. #god i need to STOPPPPPPP WHY HAS NO ONE STOPPED ME YET #fragment tag

[batfamdcposts]

Cass should take over Batman and Tim should take over WE send tweet

#this sounds like a shitpost but listen #when bruce retires or passes he leaves a massive legacy #dick doesn’t want batman #he grew into something right for him #and taking that away just so gotham doesn’t explode is tragic at best #jason has a fundamental but understandable disagreement with bruce’s stance on killing #and he’s created something for himself based on his experiences too #batman cannot kill #and jason moulding himself into the bat would also be sad for more reasons than I can list here #tim doesn’t want batman and needs to continue building his own vigilante mantle #plus he’s way too prone to depressive episodes (he’s not alone in that regard) and taking over the bat wouldn’t be good for him #he’d lose himself in it too easily and needs to put more focus on his civilian life #oh also didn’t a future version of him become batman and end up killing damian #steph would hate it and also she’s built something incredibly valuable already I don’t need to elaborate #duke could do a good job but wouldn’t like it #and oh damian #damian deserves to be free of both legacies that were forced on him as a child #he can be a vigilante but he deserves to persue what makes him happy #and allow himself to do so #personally I see him becoming a veterinarian #and staying as robin unless he takes up nightwing when dick retires #being pulled into batman wouldn’t be good for damian in the long run #but cass!!! cass could do it and simultaneously fully live #she’s adamant in her stance on killing and wouldn’t need a child to pull her out of the darkness that the bat can become #plus her fighting skill is unparalleled #her knocking bruce on his ass is one of my favorite comic panels lmao #as for WE #dick and jason would hate all the fake smiles and bullshit #cass and duke would hate the tediousness of it and damian deserves to be free from what he believes he’s supposed to do #but tim thrives amongst snakes and would need an outlet for ruthlessness as long as he’s reminded that there are genuine people who love him

[fruitydiaz]

sorry but literally ana told eddie “i know there hasn’t anyone else in christopher’s life since his mom died” and eddie made That Face knowing that buck was literally at home with christopher at that very moment and ALSO knowing that a little less than a year before that he had put buck in his will as christopher’s legal guardian if he died because he knows that there’s no one he trusts more with christopher (his heart) than buck. and then carla told eddie to follow his heart not christopher’s and then eddie got shot and he reached for buck and then he told buck about the will finally and he said “christopher will be taken care of by you. that’s what i want for him” and then four months later eddie started having panic attacks around ana because he realized their relationship was getting serious and he still didn’t like her the way he thought he was supposed to (because if christopher loves her then eventually he will too.) and then he broke up with ana because buck told him to and ana said “sorry for the mess but i guess it’s yours now” and then eddie started to distance himself from everyone until he left the 118 and he broke down in his room and buck broke down the door and stepped in with him and said “what are you afraid of?” and eddie responded “that i’ll never feel normal again.” because for so long all he’s been searching for is for something to make him feel normal and none of it worked. until buck stepped in to help and eddie let him

#IM SO ILLLLL #i started writing this in the car and was literally gonna throw up so i had to stop #al talks #also like. not to negate the importance of therapy and bobby in eddie’s journey bc obviously both were critical #but if buck had not been there and eddie hadn’t allowed him in eddie wouldn’t have made it #it’s equal parts buck being there and eddie allowing himself to be helped #(by buck. specifically he opened up to buck before bobby or frank) #which he’d been fighting against for. several years

[vintagenightwing]

i think about these panels every day

#it’s about bruce stopping because damian asks him to #talia realizing that ras was awful but he was also her father and she’s allowed to have complex feelings about him and how she mourns him #talia also stopping herself from killing brion bc she loves damian and understands his point of view on the situation #and it tying into what talia said before about ras having a change of heart and having stopped using the lazarus pit #because he feels he has found an heir in damian who will change things for the better #damian being the future of the al ghul family #damian carrying two legacies and trying to better both #it’s about them being a family #bruce and talia not being on the best terms and not always seeing eye bc of the way they were raised (and what moral codes they developed #bc of circumstance) #but still loving each other and loving their son #i love this robin run a lot #and i feel that this points to damian’s philosophy being that people should be given the opportunity to change and be better #because it ties to how he himself changed with dick’s help #so it makes sense he’d want others to be given that opportunity #i’m not super into comics so i could be wring abt some things but this is my interpretation!! #damian wayne #talia al ghul #bruce wayne #robin (2021) #also damian saying ‘we all must pay’ in reference to how they can try to do better and that includes atonement and how #trying to change doesn’t erase the hurt they’ve caused #and atoning is part of the process hence they must all do it at some point #and then damian turning lazarus island into a safe haven like it all ties together #and i’m so mad that this run got cancelled just as they were introducing lazarus island and all the other cool stuff they could do with it

[crocodilenjoyer]

the leg hair theory is funny but sadly i disagree on two fronts. i don’t think sanji has had sex, ever, in his life, while i fully believe ace to be some manner of floozy.

#takes after his daddy (easy) #<<joke. i don’t think he’d allow himself to be vulnerable enough to sleep around #ace #sanji #riko.txt

[gingerwerk]

Rewatching bmw and I’ve Always been emo over how Cory’s dad has been Shawn hunters number 1 defender and was always there to offer whatever help he needed but I’m on the cherry bomb episode and FORGOT that Cory’s dad admitted that when he was growing up he was the Shawn in his friendship duo 😭😭😭

#Allan seeing himself in Shawn so he understands what Shawn needs :/ :/ :/ #thinking about how when Shawn accidentally got into a cult Allan confronted the guy and straight up said he’d kill him #when Corey’s little bother is in the NICU Allan tells the nurse that Shawn’s family he’s allowed to go in :/ #Anyways….. I really watched this show at a very critical age and it did a Number on me #Kelly watches bmw

[hylianane]

that Sanji as Usopp’s first mate AU is still doing things to my brain btw

#i feel like they could be efficient. the could be scary and they could be strong but they would also be very complacent #Usopp wouldn’t be able to psyche himself up to leave the East Blue on his own. And Sanji wouldn’t pressure him to do so either #Sanji as we know him before Luffy (and pretty significantly Zoro’s bout against Mihawk) inspired him was very content- #-to live his life at someone else’s pace. He was willing to write off ever seeing the All Blue to care for Zeff. #He’d do the same to be Usopp’s first mate #I could see them then falling into Buggy territory. Feared and infamous but with not living to their own potential #Pretending that they aren’t just playing it safe because hey theyre still plenty successful! Still pirates! #They’d need a push. Something to make them Both stop being so self-denying and allow themselves to just DO IT #Sail to reverse mountain! Chase their dreams freely! Let go of any guilt or terror! #I WISH THEM THE BEST