#Btw obviously not literally literally

[burnsopale]

Literally a scene in Sir Percy Leads the Band

Chauvelin: Haha! I have you now, Scarlet Pimpernel! Time to summon my men and have you arrested!

*Chauvelin pulls a whistle from his pocket*

*Percy knocks the whistle out of his hand*

Chauvelin, looking at the whistle on the floor: Oh ... Well, there goes my whole plan.

Percy: Wow. Want me to lock you in a cellar until the embarrassment passes?

Chauvelin: Would you?

#the scarlet pimpernel #Sir percy leads the band #Armand chauvelin #sir percy blakeney #I fucking cannot with this guy #Why are you so embarrassing? #I am enjoying this book immensely #There are great shenanigans happening #Btw obviously not literally literally

[inkskinned]

yesterday while feverish i wrote about how boats can moor next to each other like pigeons, cooing with the gentle rap of water against their hull. you once said that that the way i see things - birds in the water, feathers in marina paint - was "childish and naive." you said i'd been misdiagnosed - "it can't all be adhd. you might be just kind of stupid and lazy."

i still do certain things like how you taught me - turn the pillow case inside out before putting it on. drive defensively. hate myself entirely.

the prompt for this poem is "mahler's fifth." i wish it wasn't, but mahler's fifth was our song. it ended up in my book. every person that knows your name has promised me they'll give you one swift rabbit punch, right to the face. dean read the book and showed up on my front porch, drenched in sweat from running the 8 miles at 4 in the morning. he was shaking. pacifist and gentle - he works with children - i'd never seen him furious. a punch isn't going to do it, he said, and then said i'm sorry. i had to come to see if you were okay.

mahler's fifth was mine first, like my girlhood. i like the way each movement piles onto the next movement, each instrument bleeding into the next. i like the horn version the best. before i met you, i danced to it on grass still-wet from sprinklers.

later you would tell me that the way you heard it was somehow better. you understood something in it that i couldn't quite wrap my fingers into. once, on our anniversary, you asked the classical music radio station to play it for us. we missed hearing it because we were fighting. one of the things people get wrong about abuse is that sometimes victims are, like, brutally aware of the stupidity of our situation. what do you mean that you thought i wasn't good enough for you? you? you're just... nothing.

sometimes people can pull the poetry out of your life. i watched my words become clothesline, and then thin out into kite twine. i watched you chew through every good syllable of me. so many good songs and places and moments were ruined. i am glad you didn't like most of my music - less to tie back to you.

but still mahler's fifth. the music swells, and i am 21 and throwing up in a bathroom on my birthday. a woman i will later refer to as lesbian jesus runs a cool hand down my back, her perfect pantsuit starch-pressed. she told me to leave you. she said - and this is true, and not an invention of rhyme or fantasy - i'm you from the future.

i am 22, and i got home from an award ceremony, and i remember you telling me - you act so proud of yourself when you're actually so fucking embarrassing. i took you to disney world. you took my virginity. i gave up visiting spain for a week with my family - i instead choose you, to spend the time just-cuddling. you called it "our fuck week." the music swells. it probably should have been a red flag that for about 3 years - i just gave up on crying. my grandfather died and you said nothing. my uncle died and you ghosted me for 3 weeks. you said i need to protect myself from your ongoing tragedy.

every so often i come back to the memory of one of our last afternoons in person. i had just told you that i wasn't going to law school, despite the free ride - i was going to join a creative writing program. master's in fine arts. i was going to finally do it - i was going to follow my dreams. this blog was already internet-famous. however reluctantly, i would occasionally refer to myself as a poet. i got into umass amherst's writing program for fiction authors. it is one of the the top 5 programs in the country.

wait are you seriously considering actually attending that? dumbfounded, you turned completely towards me in your seat. for the 3rd time in our relationship, you almost crashed the car. you actually want to be a writer?

the first time i went viral, it was for a poem i wrote about you:

he wants to say i love you but keeps it to goodnight because love will take some falling and she's afraid of heights.

every time i see that, i want to throw up. you weren't in love with me, you were in love with the control you had over me. a little truth though: i am afraid of heights. you caught a rabbitgirl and skinned her alive.

mahler's fifth still makes me sick.

give me that back. give me back music. give me back everything i had before you. give me back fearlessness. give me back bravery. give me back a scarless body.

give me back what you took from me.

#nosebleed club #sorry stephen not ur fault #just like. thinking #writeblr #spilled ink #warm up #every time nat is like - oh let me get that for u #im like .... this is a trick right like ur gonna be mean now bc u did something nice rn #so obviously if ur being nice now either u did something mean and im about to learn about it #or you're going to BE mean #or ur gonna hold this over my head forever and i'll never get a nice thing ever again? #and every time nat is like .... babe i just actually like u #lesbian jesus story is 100% real btw. she also told me not to be an event planner #literally changed the shape of my life

[hg-aneh]

I think it was about time I introduced tumblr to my book Crowley... who eventually became a walking love letter to Latino culture lmao

(You can think of him as a Book Crowley who spent way too much time in south america)

Language wise, he's an amalgamation of all latin american spanish dialects (+pt-br) so,, have fun translating some of the things he's saying

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #ineffable husbands #good omens fanart #aziracrow #book omens #my book Aziraphale is fuckinh HUGE btw #he's taller than show Crowley #also I'm from Peru and of indigenous descent so shhhhhhh to the ppl who could see this as problematic #its happened before and im paranoid #latino crowley #my beloved #sorry to the brits but we re kidnapping your child and raising it as our own #that first and last ones are old #aneh draws #also i just wanna say he didnt start off this way #i literally just wanted to make him physically OBVIOUSLY indigenous #and then everything got out of hand in the best of ways #god im nervous sorry #aneh wont shut up

[seagreenstardust]

“When toxic behavior is portrayed as romantic, it’s problematic. When problematic behavior is portrayed as a character flaw for a character to work through, it’s good storytelling.”

Katsuki Bakugou, my friends.

His behavior was problematic but never once portrayed as romantic at the same time. Katsuki said and did awful abusive things, and he also chose to be better when he was given the chance. If you’re still hung up on chapter 1 Katsuki now then I don’t think you’ve been reading the same story I have.

I can’t speak for everyone, but I’m not shipping Izuku with an irredeemable abuser. I’m shipping him with his most important person. His narrative foil. His childhood friend who made awful mistakes and then made it right when he saw he was wrong. The person Izuku looks up to and strives to emulate, despite their past struggles.

Bakudeku is so good because of how flawed these boys are, and how hard they’ve worked to get over it, and how much they matter to each other after it all

#perfect stories about perfect people who never do anything wrong are usually boring #stories about growth and mistakes and redemption and forgiveness and progress are lit #bkdk #bakudeku #the quote is from cinema therapy on YouTube btw #love them so much #they look at media and talk about what is and isn’t good from a real life human perspective #and boy did this quote slap me in the face #anyway this is my thought literally any time anyone says something about shipping Izuku with his abuser #if he was still being abused then I get it #but he’s not #and saying he needs protection from Katsuki is honestly doing his character dirty #and this is not to say that every situation with an abuser and a victim should turn out romantic #obviously not #the world is not black and white and neither are people #sometimes you have to get yourself out and never look back and that is valid and healthy #but sometimes you’re talking about two boys in a manga who literally cannot stop thinking about how good and incredible the other is #bro I get it #surface level chapter/episode 1 Katsuki is literally the worst #but his glow up has been literally meteoric

[rocketbirdie]

just a little bit further now...!

#god i love hollow. #i WOULD call it the zakkura song of all time if it weren't for price of freedom. #cloud calling zack 'my love' and holding his hand and wanting to see his smile and his beautiful gentle eyes and hear him laugh some more #<- LITERALLY quoting the lyrics to price of freedom. #ohh you know #just dudes being bros! :) #ffvii #cloud strife #zack fair #zakkura #my art <3 #my music <3 #btw obviously i'm OBSESSED with rebirth's soundtrack #oohgmhfff.... listen to that cool classic rock organ breakdown..... WHAT a remix. aaAAAggh

[oceanwithouthermoon]

kuboyasu aren is definitely the type of guy to write a love letter confession, but instead of giving it to the person to read later, he gives it to them and wants to watch them open and read it because he thinks thats the appropriate way to confess. bro couldnt just say it out loud ??

#dumb #half the people he gets shipped with would be so embarrassed btw #like ok exception being yumehara i think. yume would think this is so cute and would read the whole thing with a giddy smile #and then jump up and hug him when shes done #anyone else? saiki? kaido? saiko? RED IN THE FACE TREMBLING SWEATING POUTING #EMBARRASSED TO THE MAX #fidgeting and trying hard not to react obviously to what theyre reading #so so acutely aware of kuboyasus eyes on them #literally on the verge of passing out #the love letter is so insanely cheesy and cliche and hopelessly romantic UGHHH #saiki k #tdlosk #the disastrous life of saiki k. #kuboyasu aren #yumeyasu #kubosai #kubokai #kubometo #meows post

[dragonzzilla]

The whole "A male is only born to the Gerudo once in a hundred years" presents a fascinating psychological crucible

By accident of birth, you're othered from the rest of your people. There is literally no one else like you. No one alive at least. You are born in the shape and in the shadow of long dead monarchs, Great Men.

But what does it mean to be a man in a society that is otherwise comprised entirely of women (I do not believe in gender essentialism; but I do believe in societal pressures). You are a boy and are constantly reminded of it. A boy without a father, without brothers; and when you become a man, you will never have sons of your own or even nephews. You're a single drop of masculinity in a ocean of mothers, sisters, wives, daughters, nieces; awash in femininity but forever separate from it. You are a man and that makes you king.

Before you're out of swaddling, you're placed on a pedestal. Elevated, in some regards. Afforded the greatest privileges available to your people. But they're not quite your people. However thinly it is presented, there's always going to be a degree of separation from everyone you know and care about. Your otherness is constantly reinforced, celebrated even. You're going to be a king. And you don't get a choice in the matter. You must stand alone, forever.

There are other men in the world, but they are not Gerudo. There are Gerudo, but none of them are men. The only people who could understand your struggle exist only as imperious statues and aspirational legends. They are Gerudo men, just like you, but they're not people anymore. They are kings, conquerors, shapers of history, children of destiny, great men. You are a man and that means you are destined for greatness.

Try not to crack under the pressure.

#legend of zelda #gender thoughts #this doesn't preclude the existence of trans gerudo #and they obviously don't see men as superior to women #look at the way they treat outsiders #being a Gerudo Man though... oh boy (literally) #basically Assigned Leader At Birth #that's a lot of pressure to put on a baby #the reins are put in your hands but you're bound to the cart #also btw even though you're a king among us – that pointy-eared shlub over there lives an easier life than you will ever have #just take pride in the fact that you're a king and Super Special! :D #no wonder Ganondorf is nuts #when your only idols are ghosts

[valiant-portabella-pirkko]

okay they seriously outdid themselves with the new SAB weapon set this year. just LOOK at these things!! my hands are going to die a noble death collecting them... but it will be worth it.

#gw2 #guild wars 2 #gw2 SAB #my posts #no seriously LOOK at them!! #i need them all. #honestly i wish i'd had these before i invested in the hardlight ones because these fit Holoscientist Ankka even better #i definitely need at least a few because DAMN. just. man #i felt the same way about the grim machine ones but mannnn #the animations on them are great too tho you obviously can't see that in these since they're just still shots #they're called Golem Buster weapons btw if you want to check them out in the wardrobe! i looked at 'em through the achieves box #(for anyone wondering how these would fit Ankka; in Flourish AU she's an Inquest mesmer who merges holotech with her magic) #(i need to share screens of her design... someday...) #...... i literally just noticed that i specifically picked all the mesmer special weapons HDFHDFGDHDH i DIDN'T EVEN MEAN TO #but honestly it feels very magitech mesmer so i'll accept that

[cacturnia]

My take on a sonadow fankid💥💥

#Been working in this creature for a while i luv em #also been seeing a lot of sonadow fankids popping up lately which is pretty epic i think #love making the characters who would never ever be parents by choice parents yippee #btw they got left in a box in front of tail's lab #eggman was not gonna bother in taking responsibility for the thing he made. he was not gonna bother tracking either sonic or shadow #sonic and shadow are kinda weirded out at first but do end up getting attached to her #though they are obviously not gonna be parenting 24/7 so each one of their friends end up taking turns in babysitting her #hoping to draw more of this stuff later on cause they are literally so fun to draw (so difficult to color tho idk why i did that to myself) #sth #sonic #sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #sonadow #sonadow fankid #sonadow fanchild #sonic fankid #chili bean the hedgehog-hedgehog #cacturniart

[raiiny-bay]

they won cutest couples costume at the halloween party

#ts4 #simblr #ts4 edit #ts4 render #sims 4 #myedits #dhestyn #kelly #(obviously) #that's kel's handwriting btw #also i'm like 100% convinced that dhes is actually just a puppy in a man suit like. #look at him & tell me he isn't literally a puppy #you can't #you can't !!! #n e way #bye

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Getting a tad niche here, and really this post is directed at like. 3 mutuals maybe but I've seen a few different dndads tma AUs at this point and I wanted to share this forever ago anyways soooo

These are my headcanons for what entity each character (dads, kiddads, teens) would be an avatar of, in addition to the most important fear that I think they would be marked by- the gist of the difference lying in what they help to propagate or embrace VS what they would actively live in fear of/try to avoid or just otherwise be most negatively affected by, I suppose!

I realize some of these will make more immediate sense than others lol, 👉👈 would be happy to elaborate on any of these if anyone's curiosity is piqued! Anyways here they are haha:

#dndads #dungeons and daddies #you're more than welcome to share your own mappings btw obviously you could make an argument for plenty of things #it was fun thinking about these lol #literally meant to share this like weeks ago after sharing with two of my friends first but anyways better late than never!

[inkskinned]

"it's so embarrassing you like that popular thing" "oh ew that geeky/strange thing is so cringe lol" "oh it's kind of weird you get excited about that harmless shit"

dude i love how ironic and jaded you are and that's so cool and sexy of you. and i am so so glad to tell you - you won!! we all had a meeting and we decided that you won, and we are writing your name on the inside of a burger king crown. the marker smeared, sorry, but we knew any form of real effort is ugly to you. but anyway. congrats! you are officially the coolest, most ironic, most jaded person in-the-world-right-now. we would throw you a party but you would think it was totally boring - and besides, we're weird so we wouldn't have been coming. we would have brought our love of beetles and of baking and of little canapes. we would have brought our artsy videogames and pages of writing. we would have written a poem with you, our hands covered in ink, and spread out a canvas to dance on, the night so lurid and pink.

but do not worry. we will not throw the party. we will just get you a ringlight and that crown i mentioned. it is a nice crown, except for where one of us dropped it.

the vote was a really hard one because we had so many cool ironic people to pick off the shelves. all of you have hands that rot fruit, how strange is that - you can't look at something without destroying it for other people. you like it when you can squeeze a person into a pinpoint - all us small ones scampering our little feet around our ugly joys. the vote was also a hard one because we kept our voices down because you don't like it when we talk too loud. you were on your phone at the time, talking to people other than us. you are a ghoul of every moment - half in, half out, you resent us for being here without shame or embarrassment.

so good news! we have invented an island for people like you. you get to go there and speak into the air things like if you still like watching harmless twitch streamers in 2023 you're fucking boring. you will say things like liveplay podcasts are fucking ugly and it's kind of awkward they try to make everything gay. on the island we made you, all of your words will have weight. they will form in the air like icicles, large white behemoth letters that will crumple in anvils around your feet. maybe we will send someone there once in a while to sweep, but honestly you might be there for a while, alone, waiting. we are busy being outside looking for mushrooms and flapping our hands and humming. we are busy kicking our little heels while we watch cringey tv. we are busy - sorry! as an apology, we have pre-filled the island with every bland, mediocre, unscented thing we could find. the island has the texture of american cheese. the island has an ocean that never gets angry. the island is perfect for you, trust me. you will be so happy there - as happy as you can be, ironically.

we want to say we are sorry for doing harmless things that you find annoying, childish, or unappealing - but we are not sorry. we thought we could help you, because we don't mind laughing at ourselves, but it turns out you are allergic to color and noise and atmosphere, so this is the best that we can do for now. we are all making a big shirt that says i voted in the ironic monarchy. we got you one that is just a fast fashion buttondown. i am so excited for you and this island and the big life you have won. you have a cool jaded grey life and miles of irony to roam. i love you! be well.

now leave us alone.

#spilled ink #writeblr #slam poetry #i started this as a joke and ended up taking after #the poem about all the women in the world meeting in the bathroom #i can't find it to link it directly i've been googling for like 15 minutes if someone can remember #turns out frantically googling the only lines like ''women meeting in the bathroom'' #''secret womens meeting you always believed happened" is not useful for . to search??? help :( #also the reason this says harmless so many times is bc like #this is 100% about like #yeah man when ppl are mean about ppl enjoying things like. fuckin lady gaga #like this is so obviously about ppl who steal ur joy for no reason (i WILL steal ur joy if ur a bigot btw) #also yes it's bc someone was like ''liking the mcelroys in 2023 is cringe'' #and im like. dude what the fuck literally just let people like things it's LITERALLY not that deep. #like i dont like centipedes theyre one of like the 2 bugs im squicked out by ... but like. #if u really like centipedes. im like so happy for you. i hope you can put socks on ur centipedes #so they can speedclean ur floors. that would be fun and cool!!! #i love u i hope all of you have a weird passion i love you i hope that passion fills your life like soap bubbles

[lunarharp]

witch scrambles

#witch hat tag #orufrey #vinanna was too cool in the recent chapter.. um.. can the manga stop making me fall for questionable yet beautiful old people #btw obviously the reason qif doesnt like to go to the hairdresser is bc he wouldnt want some stranger getting near his face. Get off me lol #i'd probably ask about whether they have a family haircutting session if sensei ever did the space event thing again and i could ask smth #when i got to ask smth directly of a senior takarazuka actor i asked something literally trivial then too instead of something cool =_= #i guess my current orufrey phase is moving from 'what if we saved a day of the week to hang out for sure as a show of our deep friendship' #to 'what if we also umm got someone to babysit for us' so that we can go to a restaurant or something. Rereading my fic helped there..

[77ngiez]

project sekai is crazy because literally every character is queer trans neurodivergent physically disabled or some combination of the above

#and im not talking abt hcs im talking abt actual coding #minori is very explicitly in love with haruka #harukas is less obvious but she clearly returns minoris feelings as well #shizuku is so obviously nd [likely autistic but she could read as a number of other things] #airi is incredibly trans coded [that one event + her fes card] #mizuki is canonically trans #ena has ptsd in some format due to her fathers abuse and shes also got a lot of cluster b traits #kanade has ptsd from what happened with her father and wlw and physically disabled coded #mafuyu. oh gd. the cdd coding the transmasc coding the girlkisser coding. #anhane is basically canon #touya is autistic coded as is nene and ichika #shiho is nd #everybody in l/n likes girls #ichika is aro coded #and autistic like i said #saki is canonically physically disabled #akito [like ena] has some measure of ptsd from his father #akito and touya r both mlm coded #rui literally compares himself to a famously gay scientist in jp [FUCK THE EN LOCALIZATION OF THAT BTW] #emu is VERY CLEARLY AUDHD and somewhat wlw coded #nene is also wlw #tsukasa comes across as very nd #all of wondershow is aspec coded as well #and oh gd ive been talking a while i need yo shut up #but like. MAN. man. [goes crazy] #77ngiez.txt #can u guys tell ive been thinking abt pjsk lately

[solargeist]

imo, its not a bad thing to want big CCs to talk about issues btw, no one expects them to ~lead the cause or ~be an activist btw, no one is asking that, we just wanna know who we're supporting.?

I remember a lot of you begging ur CCs in 2020 to say gay/trans rights, thats political.

me personally, if i know someones racist or homophobic or anything else, i don't want to support them, this isn't a bad thing.

no you can't force a cc to say anything, you can't force them to have certain opinions, yes we all know this, its just something nice to know, y'know ??

its also the fact that people with a big audience and influence saying GOOD things are important to society. How many shitheads are spewing and spreading far-right rhetoric that impressible fans just absorb and repeat ? Its good to have a combat to this, how many of you get excited when you see ur favourite band wave a pride flag on stage ? come on now.

just my personal thoughts and feelings. i think theres a level nuance to this tho

#THIS ANNOYS ME SOOO BAD !! #obviously dont harass ccs and understand their audience n stuff yknow. #like i dont expect a childrens cc to say anything. #but like. you know?? its so hard wording myself omg. #someone responded to my other post literally just saying the same thing i said in that post back at me #so i hope this is more clearr? #im gay btw thats why im using gay as an example here. #also by not saying anything it can create a pretty toxic unsafe fanbase.

[joyflameball]

Why was Meatly surprised that Sammy so popular he's literally skinny canonically blonde shirtless has suspenders ties you up tries to kill you and is tragic what did you expect people to NOT wanna fuck him

#cassie rambles #like bro i'm literally a lesbian AND aroace and i can figure out why people were insane about him #bendy and the ink machine #like in 2017 you dropped into the world a guy who was built to be a tumblr sexyman #of course he was popular like this feels so fuckin obvious #have you seen one tumblr sexyman. tumblr loves their skinny white boys who wear suspenders #if you give tumblr a guy who is so clearly tumblr sexyman material they're gonna wanna fuck him #meatly people were so obviously gonna wanna fuck him. meatly. #sammy lawrence #meatly voice why is this guy who is so obviously fuckable so popular #I SAY THIS AS AN AROACE LESBIAN LIKE TO ME PERSONALLY SAMMY IS LESS FUCKABLE AND MORE SOGGY WET RAG #DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T SEE “OH YEAH OF COURSE PEOPLE WANNA FUCK HIM” #COME ON PEOPLE #it's five am #btw none of this is meant mean-spirited this is all in good fun #i am also a sammy fan (i just think he's really interesting and has thus far been shamefully underutilized) #(meatly don't fuck him up in the cage or i'm swallowing your teeth whole) #(meatly this isn't a joke anymore if you fuck sammy up for the third time i'm gonna come to your house and put your head in a toaster)