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tundrainafrica · 3 years

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Title: A Tale of Two Slaves (7/17)

Summary: “Soulmates don’t exist. Fate doesn’t exist. Everything is a choice.” At that moment, Levi could only watch as she made the choice for him.“

Reincarnation AU. Levi remembers everything from their past life. Hange doesn’t.

Note: I was busy with fic exchange pieces for a while but will be focusing on updating my multi chapter fics now. As always, feedback is very much appreciated :D

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 8

Link to cross-postings: AO3

“So you’re Levi Ackerman?” The woman who had just entered the room looked excited. Too excited.

After being kept waiting that long, Levi was in no mood for anything, especially unnecessary pleasantries. For the past thirty minutes at least, he had been sitting on the couch of a quaint office. It was spacious and there was at least enough room on the couch to elevate his knee comfortably. Probably the reason he had the self control to give a curt nod in reply.

“I’m a fan! I watched a few of your events actually and I’m so glad to have you here,” she said too enthusiastically. She paused for a second and shook her head. “No, I’m horrified about you being injured which caused you to end up here but I’m just really excited to get to know you.”

Levi didn’t feel the need to reply.

She walked to her desk and dropped her canvas bag before sitting on the couch in front of Levi. “Sorry for being a little late. I just came out from another meeting and went out to get something to eat after. Maybe I could give you my number and you could text me if you get here before I do.” She took a post-it out of her purse and scrawled a few numbers on it and slid it towards Levi.

Shouldn’t you have my number? Somehow it was hard to believe that she was a counselor. “Name?” Levi asked.

“Shela. Just call me Shela.”

Levi had met those types of people before who go by nicknames. More often than not, he couldn’t blame them, usually they had a very old fashioned or embarrassing name behind it. He couldn’t believe someone as transparent or excitable as her who didn’t look like she had much control of her filter, would have issues about how embarrassing a name was though.

“I have a very old fashioned first name.” Shela added, only confirming Levi’s suspicions. “Shela… Sierra - Hotel - Echo - Lima - Alpha.”

Levi typed the name on his phone and saved the number.

Last Name? Academic History? He set the rest of the details aside. As long as he knew her name, he could probably get through enough sessions to at least keep both his coach and Erwin satisfied. Going to a counselor was not his idea after all. It was his coach apparently who had requested it and it was Erwin who had pushed for it. Without twice a day training or even the freedom to go wherever he wanted without being completely exhausted within hours, Levi had not much of anything else to do anyway.

Shela brought out a notebook from her purse, opened it to a bookmark paged and wrote something on it before looking up at him. Levi couldn’t help but note that when she wasn’t looking ashamed or overly enthusiastic and she did look like she knew what she was doing.

“I’m going to skip the question of ‘what brings you here’ because I think we all know why you’re here.” She gestured her pen towards Levi’s leg. “Let’s start with something simple. How are you? How are you feeling today?”

“My knee hurts and I can’t train anymore. But I’m focusing on studies now so I think I’m doing okay.” He answered, having prepared that script in his head the thirty minutes he spent waiting for her.

“I’m not asking how you’re coping. I’m asking how you’re feeling today.” Shela’s piercing eyes were a beautiful shade of blue. The serious look she gave him then bore into him. In fact, it felt like it bore into his soul.

Despite the generally bad first impression she gave him, Levi was somehow convinced that she was qualified to do that type of work and his showing up there might turn out to be worth something after all. Levi found himself almost hypnotized by that look she gave him, a healthy mixture of concern, interest and professionalism.

Hiding and watching his words felt pointless and Levi found himself saying his answers as his brain came up with them.

A Tale of Two Slaves

The hospital where he was slated to have his next sessions was that same hospital he had stayed in a week ago. Conveniently, it was a five minute walk from where he had been staying since he got out of the hospital: Hange’s apartment.

Just until I can walk up stairs. Levi had told himself. There were many dormitories clustered around campus yet he had ended up staying in the least handicap friendly one. The first floor had a lobby and a common room and the actual bedrooms were only found at the second floor and the third floor. To top it all off, there was no elevator. He had to note though that it was an old building with only three floors so it would have been useless to put one.

He was on scholarship and it was assigned to him back in first year so he did not have much of a choice. He didn’t need to think too much of it either that past three years of college since he had never been injured enough to the point of being unable to climb stairs

With his leg completely immobilized and a deadweight, Levi was sure it would be a nightmare to brave that everyday. The paperwork and legwork required to change dormitories in the middle of the semester seemed daunting as well. In the end, Hange had offered to let him stay over in her apartment.

Her condominium was spacious, it had an elevator and it was walking distance from the hospital where he’d have both his counseling and physical therapy sessions.

Walking Distance. For non handicapped people, it should only take five minutes to walk the two block distance from the hospital to the apartment building. Levi took ten minutes to clear it and by the end of it he was exhausted and despite the chill of mid autumn, Levi found himself sweating as he arrived in the apartment.

It was a Friday afternoon, a week after he was released from the hospital. Nobody was pressuring him to go back to school yet. His professors had been kind enough to send him lecture slides and give him extensions. Some classmates had dropped their own summarized notes and get-well messages.

Levi settled on his bed and propped his knee on his pillow, looking through the lecture slides of his last class. Despite his self imposed week long isolation, Levi just wanted to go back to normal life.

But it never will be normal again. Although Levi did see a glimmer of hope in the possibility of feeling normal again when he went back to school, the realist in him knew it wouldn't happen.

Levi was supposed to be in the process of accepting at least that it would never be the “normal” he used to have and had taken for granted. Something inside him was rebelling the process though.

If I can't live the life I want, then I won't live at all. That something screamed inside him.

That form of rebellion left Levi with little energy for anything else. His mind was slower. His body was heavier. He was seeing little reason to move beyond the mechanical and primal movements needed to survive.

As if by magic, his body that used to carry him over two meter tall bars, suddenly felt like it weighed a ton. The weight crushed him everyday. At times Levi found himself unable to breathe. That was he found himself in that same position for sixteen hours a day, either sleeping or staring at the same white ceiling above him.

In fact, the only time he had left the Hange's apartment was for that one counseling session Hange had prodded him to go to. That was the only time she had forced him to go out of the house as if she herself understood somehow the comfort and at the same time the panic that came with a self imposed isolation.

What else was there to do?

He was alone. He had kept to his own bubble in college, only flitting between the two islands of academics and trainings.He was always either busy or exhausted and the lack of in-between had given him little time to reflect on the state of his mental health. And suddenly he had lost one of his islands, the bigger one, the one that had given him meaning the past few years. That had left him completely and utterly lost. Maybe even desolate.

That was what Shela had pointed out in their first counseling session as Levi attempted to articulate the emptiness inside him, the slight panic that came with idleness, the sudden need to turn off all message notifications and the frequent mood changes that came with Hange's entering and exiting the apartment.

And his weird dependence on Hange.

In between studying for his three subjects that semester and icing his bum knee, what else was there to do? Wait for Hange to come home? Talk to her during that one to two hour window when she wasn't working on her thesis? That was what his life had ended up revolving around anyway.

Levi found himself only replying to anything related to studies or graduating. He had received a few messages from others, suggestions to visit training, offers to visit from teammates and he had ignored them all. Somehow, the reminder of the loss of the one hobby that had kept him busy for the past decade of his life, was mocking. He became someone who waits, someone who just went with the flow of everyone's schedule. Having been busy his whole life, having been constantly needed and looked for and only recently, having been reduced to where he was, Levi felt his life was just a series of wrong choices, wrong choices that only formed a distrust with himself and consequently a refusal to engage in activity.

What else am I supposed to be doing? Levi opened his laptop. For a moment he had tried to go through his school notes at Shela’s advice.

After less than an hour of halfheartedly reviewing his notes and forgetting it soon after, Levi had exhausted his already scarce energy. With nothing else to do, he had decided to move to scrolling through timelines which displayed little to no signs of real life obligations, pinterest and reddit to pass the time. Within an hour of just scrolling through both, he had gotten tired of it too. It was a new feeling. Usually he could drown himself in hours of social media and timelines but at that point, nothing was interesting to him anymore.

Have you tried writing out how you feel? Shela’s suggestion echoed in his head. Like maybe get a journal. It’s a great way to process your thoughts and emotions.

What’s there to write. Levi asked himself and Shela’s voice as it echoed in his head. Levi could only stare at the blank screen, his emotions too non-existent to write. The blank document he had opened in front of him was the best representation of his thoughts and emotions already.

There are no right or wrong answers. Shela had brought up another good point during their session.

You think, therefore you are. You feel therefore you are. As long as you’re processing images, sounds and sensations, you’re thinking. You’re feeling something and you can write something down.

Then why do I feel so empty? Levi had asked.

Shela had compared it to a false bottom. As he continued to stare at the blank page in front of him, Levi was starting to feel for that false bottom in his mind. It was a matter of discipline more than anything, determination to dig into one’s self.

It could have taken hours but as Levi looked at the time on his laptop, he realized much time hadn’t passed. In fact, the time to the lower right of his screen, was still the same. But Levi was starting to think differently.

He did have something to look back on. Stories he hadn’t thought back to in a while, having been occupied by training, Hange’s tests, studies and recoveries. They continued to taunt him in the mornings. With the magic of worldly obligations, Levi had managed to set them aside.

His motivations particularly lay in the fact that his world was a little bigger, he was talking to more people and the idea that these same people he was seeing were the same ones he’d been writing fictional stories for had him questioning his own sanity and had him a little self conscious about having those dreams in the first place.

At that moment though, his inability to think and feel beyond that false bottom had Levi more alarmed and he found himself attempting to articulate those dreams on the word processor just to experience a semblance of something.

Levi at least confirmed one thing, that bottom was false. And the more he articulated those dreams, the more they became real. He was starting to scrape on that false bottom and the first things that were oozing out were dreams. Somehow, the dreams were more vivid that he had ever remembered them to be. He felt almost guilty for having set them aside like some sort of fair weathered friend.

“Hey not bad! Is that homework?”

Levi tensed up in surprise. He should have been able to hear the familiar footsteps and the jangle of the keys from his place on the sofa bed. He never missed it once. Levi didn’t know if he should be proud that he had distracted himself enough not to consider Hange or terrified that she was right behind him at that moment, probably reading through his work.

He quickly closed his tab and looked at the time on the lower right. It was only five. Hange usually went home at seven.

“You’re early,” Levi commented.

“It’s my apartment. I can choose when to go home.” Hange answered. “Anyway what was that? Are you writing?”

“A journal,” Levi explained. There was not much point in lying.

“Did the counselor tell you to do that?”

“Yeah. Something about processing emotions and thoughts.”

“It’s a good exercise. Especially since you seemed pretty out of it recently...” Hange trailed off.

Levi looked back at her and noticed a flicker of what looked like guilt in Hange’s eyes before she looked away.

“Out of it?” Levi knew what she was talking about. He just felt the need to keep the conversation going.

“You spent the past weekend just lying in bed. I never even saw you look through your phone or open your laptop. ” Hange explained. “I’ve seen how these types of things develop so... So yeah, I’m just so happy to see you so focused on something else.”

“I don’t really have much else to get into other than school.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Hange said.

Levi bit his lip, instantly regretting that last sentence. Hange averaged two apologies a day which was a lot given the fact that they only ever had a two hour window to talk in between Levi’s long hours asleep and Hange’s long hours on campus.

“It wasn’t your fault. I was kinda going crazy too...With the jumping I mean.” He added. “And I was the one who decided to make that last jump in the first place. And now you have to change your whole thesis topic.”

“It wasn’t too difficult. Just one week building a new proposal. It’s still the same case study, it’s just I decided to document a recovery. Erwin’s unconventional methods with the recovery makes it worth documenting.”

“At least I’m still useful somewhere,” Levi commented wryly. Hange had explained the thesis to him over the weekend. He should have been relieved at least to know that they weren’t separating anytime soon. Surprisingly though, he wasn’t even happy to hear it. Everything around him just seemed too bleak to celebrate anything. Good news that used to make him smile and celebrate internally suddenly only made him feel a slight sense of relief, the equivalent emotion of seeing a wet floor sign in an area with slippery floors.

Hange sat on the sofa bed next to Levi and looked towards him. She took a deep breath. “I know with what’s been happening, it looks like you don’t have much going for you. And I know things seem pretty dark now but things will get better. You just have to keep living.”

“I’m still breathing.”

“You know what I mean,” Hange said. “When I get up in the morning you’re asleep. When I get back we talk for an hour and half the time it’s just me talking. You barely even answer when I ask what you want. This past weekend I didn’t even see you look through your phone. It’s like you’re practically dead.”

“What else is there to do. I can’t show up for training. My professors aren’t asking me to go back to school soon.”

“Find a new hobby? Continue whatever thing you’re writing. Enjoy the food I bring home. Laugh when you see a funny meme. Or you know, at least smile and do that nose blowing thing people do when you show them a funny meme..”

“My teammates are preparing for the new season. My classmates are at least all caught up in class. I spent too much damn time on that fucking sport. Now that it’s all gone, I feel like I’m just going with the flow of life instead of actually swimming,” Levi said, having taken that last part from Shela’s book.

“Everyone is just going with the flow of life. We’re all at the mercy of time anyway. Live for yourself. See joy in the small things at least. Look at me, I’m simping for athletes like some idiot in between studies.”

“Live for yourself? You follow people’s orders a lot for someone who gives this type of advice.”

“It’s not obeying people. I’m just asking questions and seeking advice. The more relevant facts, information and experience you have, the better the decisions you can make right. So can’t I argue that having more information at my fingertips makes me freer? ” Hange gave Levi a knowing and playful smile

He could tell by the look she gave him that she expected something in return. It was a rhetorical question though, maybe even a premature victory lap for having won that argument. Levi silently looked back at his laptop, not wanting to let her win.

Hange broke the silence. “Okay now that we’re on the topic of asking questions... who’s that Squad Leader Hange Zoe you’re writing about?”

A Tale of Two Slaves

Levi could not pinpoint the exact moment he decided for certain that squad leader Hange Zoe was real, when he decided for himself that the stories he was writing out should have been real.

It came as a gradual decision after incessant questions from Hange that at first, he was determined not to answer. Hange was smart about it, keeping the questions as things that could be answered with one word, and before he knew it, he was giving her too much information, it was pointless to blatantly refuse. After he had answered her more than enough questions, she smiled.

“Looks like you got my personality down,” Hange commented. Levi somehow knew her enough to tell there was no judgement or obligation in that voice. In fact, when he looked into her eyes, he saw that same wonder, he had seen many times before when she witnessed the jumps.

That wonder only carried over from questions on the squad leader to questions on his dreams and finally, to questions on how he wrote his dreams out.

“How do you see the world?”

“How do I see the world?”

“Like what type of camera angles do you see the world in. If I asked you to imagine a tree, what kind of tree do you imagine? Do you imagine it from top to bottom, from trunk to top? Our minds are the most creative producers and cameramen you can think of.”

“Do you notice how well our body blends sensations? When the light turns off then on, there’s a split second where you see shapes when your eyes adjust from light to dark?”

“What are the physical manifestations of emotions? Do you feel your stomach drop? Do you ever get that tingling feeling in your legs and suddenly they’re jelly?”

Did you ever witness something so beautiful that you wish you could live forever just so you could never forget it?

The conversation was a little deep and a little too philosophical for him. It was a ploy to get him writing and maybe a ploy to get him to understand the same wonder she had in the world from what he could tell. Somehow he needed it. The way Hange had described the world, the way she had described reality, only made the line between what could have been his imagination and his memory a little more distinct.

It was around then did he look at Hange Zoe the medical student to see the squad leader from his dreams. Erwin Smith, Hange Zoe and every single one of the soldiers in these dreams. They weren’t just dreams or manifestations of an exhausted mind.

In another life, she could have been real. The angles at which he saw the world, the way his body processed those sensations in his dreams, the manifestations of those emotions, too vivid even more vivid than a catharsis from a good book or a phenomenal ending to a TV show.

The questions continued to echo as Hange turned off the lights and Levi lay in bed awake. That food for the thought left Levi hyper aware of his surroundings, all the way down to the small details --- the way every piece of thread on the bed covers beneath him pressed on to him, the way his breath made a sound in the utter silence late at night no matter how much he tried to quiet it, the way the palpitations in his chest could be felt all the way until his head. He was excited to sleep, dream and take stock of his dreams yet he was too excited to fall asleep.

Like a five year old the night before their first field trip, Levi did not fall asleep anytime soon.

A Tale of Two Slaves

Nobody really questions the logic of dreams.

Sometimes one can find themselves only a few millimeters tall on top of a giant donut. Sometimes they can find themselves having milk tea with their favorite celebrity. Dreams are more felt by the moments they bring to people, not by the logic. It was only natural Levi did not question much of his dreams then.

That night as he lay awake, Levi made the conscious effort to live in his dreams, to take note of every detail from the sights and sounds, to the smells, the emotions, repeating to himself the questions Hange had asked earlier that day. What he had failed to consider then, was the context of dreams.

Were Hange and the others okay?

He found himself on the battlefield and he knew exactly what had to be done. In front of him was a large furry creature which the military had dubbed the Beast Titan and around him were other naked humanoid creatures called titans.

The Beast titan was flinging rocks at them and the soldiers were dying at an alarming rate.

Commander Erwin Smith ordered a suicide mission. All surviving soldiers were to rush towards the Beast Titan while Levi flew from the side of the walls and snuck towards him.

He knew what to do. The movements were natural and Levi had flown before, the gear on his waist had only made the whole mission easier. Somehow, on the battlefield he had the luxury of stock knowledge.

That stock knowledge was what had him slicing through the arms, through the eyes, through the achilles and finally through the nape of said titan. He pulled out a blonde man and pushed the sword through the man’s mouth.

He could feel his blood boiling. From anger? Of course, the man had killed Erwin. For a second, Levi had managed to get a view of the blond commander as he flew from the wall slashing titan after titan. He knew the man was probably dead.

But there was a way to revive him. There was a serum.

Before Levi could give it a second thought, a duck billed monster tore into his view and---

Levi sat up and screamed. He found himself in no hurry to dodge that duck billed titan. He was in Hange's apartment, too injured to be flying in the air in those contraptions anyway. He ran his hands through his body and up to his face, taking stock of his reality. He didn't reek of titan blood nor was he covered in it. He scanned the dark room, or at least what was visible given the moon was his only light source.

Somehow, those few moments as captain Levi had felt so real, watching the moon from his place on the sofa bed seemed almost dreamlike.

Which one is my reality? Levi found himself questioning it all. As quickly as the questions came, they were answered. All he needed was one stimuli, strong enough to root him back into his reality.

"Hey, bad dream?"

The dark room and his own state of mind had made it difficult for him to notice that Hange had settled beside him. That voice though had pulled him out of his trance and he became certain at least that he was not dreaming anymore.

"Yeah," Levi managed to say. At the least he still had control of his voice.

Hange sat cross-legged next to him. The moon was at a perfect angle to illuminate her face and even in the dark room he could see it. Her eyes were looking right at him as if she were studying him a little too seriously.

She brought out one finger to his eye and pushed at the corner. That was when Levi felt it. The small tear spread on the corner of his eye and dried up within seconds. Levi only hastened the process by wiping it himself.

"I'm not leaving you tonight."

"Why?"

"I'll take full responsibility for this. It was my mistake that got you into this in the first place.”

"I've had them before. This is nothing new.” Levi argued. As Hange lay on the sofa bed next to him though, he realized he didn’t want her to leave. His body froze as if understanding that emotion, unwilling to accommodate the protests, the impulse inside him to argue, to force her to go back to her room.

The sofa bed was at least big enough for both of them, wide enough for a comfortable one to two feet space between them. Hange had made sure as well to lie on her side, only widening that space a little more.

“I don’t know how many times I’ve told you this but I swear I really do mean it every time. I’m sorry.” Her voice cracked as she said it.

Levi only continued to stare at the ceiling above him, listening to her disturbed and hitched breaths next to him as if she was holding back something. He didn’t want to look to his side, not wanting to further aggravate a reaction he sensed was raring to come out of her or to further tighten that knot which had settled itself on his chest. His dim surroundings only illuminated weakly by the moon, did not help at all.

Levi lay awake for a while longer, scrambling for words that could placate her.

This is nothing new. It hadn’t worked.

I’m fine. But he wasn’t.

Things happen. Had he not given that same consolation so many times before?

Eventually the rhythm of her breathing evened out enough for Levi to guess that she had fallen asleep, and as if by some special force, Levi found his breathing slowing down too. He was starting to relax.

The apartment was dark and quiet. It was peaceful, so peaceful that Levi never did notice when exactly he was pulled back into his dream. The dimness of the apartment was gradually replaced by the dimness of the forest a long time ago. The distant sounds of passing cars gradually replaced by the crackle of a fire and the rustle of leaves on a windy night.

He was surrounded by trees. A broken wooden cart lay to the side and a few feet away from it a campfire.

The soft and even breathing next to him stayed though. The same exact pattern, the same exact rhythm, the same hitched breaths--- all signs of the light uneasy slumber of his companion.

That was all Levi needed to hear to have sworn nothing much changed about her.

#levihan #levi ackerman #hange zoe #levi x hange #levi x hanji #levihan fanfiction #fanfic

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crowdvscritic · 3 years

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round up // NOVEMBER 20

Hi, I’m tired. Actually, my friend Celeste created a piece of art that puts the emphasis needed on that sentiment:

I’m very tired. November felt like it was three years and also felt like it went by in a blink and also I’m not sure where October ended and November began—how does time work like that? (I’ve yet to see Tenet, but maybe that will explain it.) But like Michael Scott, somehow I manage, and lately it’s been like this:

Late-night Etsy scrolling. Browsing beautiful, non-big-box-store artwork is very calming just before I go to bed. I’d recommend Etsy stores like Celeste’s chr paperie shop, which I know from experience is full of great Christmas gift ideas.

Taking a day off of work to do laundry. I’m not sure if it’s more #adulting that I did that or that I was excited to do that.

Eating Ghiradelli chocolate chips straight from the bag. I actually don’t recommend this as a healthy option, but this is also not a health blog.

Watching lots and lots of ‘80s movies. One day I’ll ask a therapist why this decade of films is so comforting for me despite its many flaws, but for now I’m just rolling with it.

Reading. Have you heard of this? It’s a form of entertainment but doesn’t require screens—wild!

Memes. All good Pippin “Fool of a” Took jokes are welcome here.

Leaning into the Christmas spirit by ordering that Starbucks peppermint mocha, making plans to watch everything in that TCM Christmas book I haven’t seen, and keeping the lights on my hot pink tinsel tree on all day as I work from home.

This month’s Round Up is full of stuff that made me smile and stuff that sucked me into its world—I think they’ll do the same for you, too.

November Crowd-Pleasers

Sister Act (1992)

If in four years you aren’t in an emotional state to watch election results roll in, I recommend watching Whoopi Goldberg pretend to be a nun for 100 minutes. (Though, incidentally, if you want to watch that clip edited to specifically depict how the results came in this year, you’ll need to watch Sister Act 2.) This musical-comedy is about as feel-good as it gets, meaning there’s no reason you should wait four more years to watch it. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

Nevada Memes

Speaking of election results, Nevada memes. That’s it—that’s the tweet. Vulture has a round up of some of the best.

youtube

SNL Round Up

Laugh and enjoy!

“Cinema Classics: The Birds” (4605 with John Mulaney)

“Uncle Ben” (4606 with Dave Chappelle)

RoboCop (1987)

I’m not surprised I liked RoboCop, but I am surprised at why I liked RoboCop. Not only is this a boss action blockbuster, it’s an investigation into consumerism and the commodification of the human body. It’s also a critique of institutions that treat crime like statistics instead of actions done by people that impact people. That said, it’s also movie about a guy who’s fused with a robot and melts another guy’s face off with toxic sludge, so there’s a reason I’m not listing this under the Critic section. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8/10

Double Feature – ‘80s Comedies: National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) + Major League (1989)

The ‘80s-palooza is in full swing! In Vacation (Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 8/10), Chevy Chase just wants to spend time with his family on a vacation to Wally World, but wouldn’t you know it, Murphy’s Law kicks into gear as soon as the Griswold family shifts from out of Park. The brilliance of the movie is that every one of these terrible things is plausible, but the Griswolds create the biggest problems themselves. In Major League (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10), Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, and Wesley Snipes are Cleveland’s last hope for a winning baseball team. Like the Griswolds, mishaps and hijinks ensue in their attempt to prevent their greedy owner from moving the Indians to Miami, but the real win is this movie totally gets baseball fans. Like most ‘80s movies, not everything in this pair has aged well, but they brought some laughs when I needed them most.

This Time Next Year by Sophie Cousens (2020)

They’re born a minute apart in the same hospital, but they don’t meet until their 30th birthday on New Year’s Day. So, yes, it’s a little bit Serendipity, and it’s a little bit sappy, but those are both marks in this book’s favor. This Time Next Year is a time-hopping rom-com with lots of almost-meet-cutes that will have you laughing, believing in romantic twists of fate, and finding hope for the new year.

Double Feature – ‘80s Angsty Teens: Teen Wolf (1985) + Uncle Buck (1989)

In the ‘80s, Hollywood finally understood the angsty teen, and this pair of comedies isn’t interested in the melodrama earlier movies like Rebel Without a Cause were depicting. (I’d recommend Rebel, but not if you want to look back on your teen years with any sense of humor.) In Teen Wolf (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5/10), Michael J. Fox discovers he’s a werewolf.one that looks more like the kid in Jumanji than any other portrayal of a werewolf you’ve seen. It’s a plot so ‘80s and so bizarre you won’t believe this movie was greenlit.

In Uncle Buck (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 7.5/10), John Candy is attempting to connect with the nieces and nephew he hasn’t seen in years, including one moody high schooler. (Plus, baby Gaby Hoffman and pre-Home Alone Macauley Culkin!) This is my second pick from one of my all-time fave filmmakers, John Hughes (along with National Lampoon’s Vacation, above), and it’s one more entry that balances heart and humor in a way only he could do. You can see where I rank this movie in Hughes’s pantheon on Letterboxd.

Lord of the Rings memes

This month on SO IT’S A SHOW?, Kyla and I revisited The Lord of the Rings, a trilogy we love almost as much as we love Gilmore Girls. You can listen to our episode about the series on your fave podcast app, and you can laugh through hundreds of memes like I did for “research” on Twitter.

Nothing to See Here by Kevin Wilson (2019)

Most adults are afraid of children’s temper tantrums, but can you imagine how terrified you’d be if they caught on fire in their fits of rage? That’s the premise of this novel, which begins when an aimless twentysomething becomes the nanny of a Tennessee politician’s twins who burst into flames when they get emotional. The book is filled with laugh-out-loud moments but never leaves behind the human emotion you need to make a magical realistic story.

An Officer and a Gentlemen (1982)

Speaking of aimless twentysomethings and emotion, feel free to laugh, cry, and swoon through this melodrama in the ‘80s canon. Richard Gere meanders his way into the Navy when he has nowhere else to go, and he tries to survive basic training, work through his family issues, and figure out his future as he also falls in love with Debra Winger. So, yeah, it’s a schamltzier version of Top Gun, but it’s schmaltz at its finest. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10

November Critic Picks

Double Feature – ‘40s Amensia Romances: Random Harvest (1942) + The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (1947)

Speaking of schmaltz at its finest, let me share a few more titles fitting that description. In Random Harvest (Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Greer Garson falls in love with a veteran who can’t remember his life before he left for war. In The Ghost and Mrs. Muir (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10), Gene Tierney discovers a ghost played by a crotchety Rex Harrison in her new home. Mild spoiler: Both feature amnesiac plot developments, and while amnesia has become a cliché in the long history of romance films, Harvest is moving enough and Mr. Muir is charming enough that you won’t roll your eyes. You can see these and more romances complicated by forced forgetfulness in this Letterboxd round up.

The African Queen (1951)

It’s Humphrey Bogart and Katharine Hepburn directed by John Huston—I mean, I don’t feel like I need to explain why this is a winner. Bogart (in his Oscar-winning role) and Hepburn star in a two-hander script, dominating the screen time except for a select few scenes with supporting cast. The pair fight for survival while cruising on a small boat called The African Queen during World War I (in Africa, natch), and the two make this small story feel grand and epic. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

Kind Hearts and Coronets (1949)

A young man’s (Dennis Price) mother is disowned from their wealthy family because she marries for love. After her death, he seeks vengeance by killing all of the family members ahead of him in line to be the Duke D'Ascoyne. The twist? All of his victims are played by Sir Alec Guinness! Almost every character in this black comedy is a terrible person, so you won’t be too sorry to see them go—you can just enjoy the creative “accidents” he stages and stay in suspense on whether our “hero” gets his comeuppance. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

Bluebeard’s Eighth Wife (1937)

What would you do if you found out you were to be someone’s eighth wife? Well, it’s probably not what Claudette Colbert does in this screwball comedy that reminds me a bit of Love Crazy. This isn’t the first time I’ve recommended Colbert, Gary Cooper, or Ernst Lubitsch films, so it’s no surprise these stars and this director can make magic together in this hilarious battle of the wills. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

The Red Shoes (1948)

I love stories about the competition between your life and your art, and The Red Shoes makes that competition literal. Moira Shearer plays a ballerina who feels life is meaningless without dancing—then she falls in love. That’s an oversimplification of a rich character study and some of the most beautiful ballet on film, but I can’t do it justice in a short paragraph. Just watch (perhaps while you’re putting up your hot pink tinsel tree?) and soak in all the goodness. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 10/10

The Third Man (1949)

Everybody loves to talk about Citizen Kane, and with the release of Mank on Netflix, it’s newsworthy again. But don’t miss this other ‘40s team up of Joseph Cotten and Orson Welles. Cotten is a writer digging for the truth of his friend’s (Welles) death in a mysterious car accident. Eyewitness accounts differ on what happened, and who was the third man at the scene only one witness remembers? 71 years later, this movie is still tense, and this actor pairing is still electric. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

The Untouchables (1987)

At the end of October, we lost Sean Connery. I looked back on his career first by writing a remembrance for ZekeFilm and then by watching The Untouchables. (In a perfect world I would’ve reversed that order, but c’est la vie.) In my last selection from the ‘80s, Connery and Kevin Costner attempt to convict Robert De Niro’s Al Capone of anything that will stick and end his reign of crime in Chicago. Directed by Brian De Palma and set to an Ennio Morricone soundtrack, this film is both an exciting action flick and an artistic achievement that we literally discussed in one of my college film classes. Connery won his Oscar, and K. Cos is giving one of the best of his career, too. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9.5/10

Remember the Night (1940)

Fred MacMurray and Barbara Stanwyck in my favorite team up yet! Double Indemnity may be the bona fide classic in the canon, but this Christmas story—with MacMurray as a district attorney prosecuting shoplifter Stanwyck— is a charmer. I’ve added it to my list of must-watch Christmas movies—watch for some holiday cheer and rom-com feels. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 8.5/10

Photo credits: chr paperie. Books my own. All others IMDb.com.

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stuckinapatriarchalbullshitland · 4 years

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Camren AMA’s Timeline///(Long Ass Post)

I decided to make this post because I have not stopped thinking about a Lauren Instagram Live five days before the night of the AMA's last year. For that same reason, I am giving myself the task of doing this kind of Timeline where I will put everything I can about that night.

Before The AMA’s

Lauren’s IG Live:

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This Live was very crazy for me, she posted it on October 4, 2018, I'm not sure if she recorded it or too late or too early, (although the Instagram database says it was at six in the morning), but it was A long video of almost an hour in which our moonchild talked a lot about politics and we could see her with Gracie and even when she had a cold. That live has caught my attention not because of its duration or what she talked about in that video, but because it was uploaded to her Instagram account just five days before the AMA's of that same month. We know that artists know about the presentations at various awards ceremonies long before the assists are revealed so I'm sure that when Lauren recorded that Live she "already knew" that she would have to accompany her PR to the ceremony, because let's be honest , she was that that day. Only the companion of her PR.

A side note: About this video, If someone of you folks remember another IG live from Lauren before the AMA’s please reblog this post with your answer, thanks.

Lauren’s story before the AMA’s (a day before):

I think this story she did the night before the AMA's says it all. I have nothing but the image but I know she posted it on October 8 because it is the date that I saved it on my computer. Clarification: I don't have Camila's side before the AMA's because I decided to concentrate on Lauren before the ceremony rather than Camila. I think here begins my favorite part. I don't remember everything that happened on October 9 but I do remember that we were all very much looking forward to what would happen at the ceremony and if we were going to have a Camren or Normila and Laurmani encounter but ... we had nothing but a TMZ article about the girls I will post later. The stir that night began, much earlier. It started with this image:

The seats of the artists and the distance that the girls would have throughout the ceremony. Lauren would be next to Ty and Tara to the right of the main stage about three rows or more from the center of the stage and Camila would be next to Roger and Taylor in the center row facing the stage in the front seats. I remember very well that nobody was very sure if Lauren would actually attend the ceremony until we saw the image. She attended and did it with her beard

During The AMA’s

Camila attended the event with her father but paraded alone on the red carpet

(Her top energy I see you, I kill you and wow she did) And here is where I will stop for a moment, because I think that at this point in the post, it is where we can see a before and after in this ceremony. I don't think we would have had what we had that night if it weren't for a video of a kiss that ran like lava rivers in the fandom and that made us all go crazy and of course, much more Camila Cabello

The Tyren kiss. A kiss that should have fucked Camila a lot because that kiss was answered with this post:

"Hairflips the pain away"

I don't think I have much more to say about it but this fucking kiss would have some crazy consequences later.

Lauren for Billboard:

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Another realization of how nervous Lauren was before the ceremony. When she talked about the girls after Chelsea asked her about them, it's still very strange to see. Anxiety almost eats her alive but she overcame it. The ceremony began and the fandom had some curious images during the event.

Taylor as the Camren godmother fairy

And the best one or kind of

The potato quality photo before Camila's presentation that showed us that the girls did see each other in the backstage and that caught the entire fandom’s attention, no doubt.

Lauren also posted videos of the ceremony, I will put the screenshots because I can't upload so many videos here without links other than YouTube (Tumblr you have to fix that).

Camila singing Consequences

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This is another point in this post where I decided to stop. I remember very well that before the presentation of Camila the fandom went into chaos because we hoped Lauren could stay at the performance but Tara armed her circus with Tyren who supposedly tried to show us that the couple in love left the ceremony "before" of Camila's presentation.

There’s a reason why Camila was so anxious before her performance too. Not only because she would sing Consequences but because she didn’t if certain green-eyed girl would be able to stayed at her performance.

But ... and the but is gigantic, out of nowhere, or maybe not, a player entered the party of the PR circus who threw down everything Tara tried to make us believe The fan

Translation: She stayed until the end? The fan replied: She stayed until the end. This girl had taken a picture with Lauren and Camila that night

Confirming in the first instance that Lauren did stay to see Camila's presentation and then completely denying that Lauren has stayed

Translation: Hi. Lauren stayed until the end? Did she saw Camila? The Fan: No Oh godd Because of your picture all the people say she did it on Twitter The Fan: I wish Thanks

We all know that fans can’t screw up a narrative so this fan’s changed of mind wasn’t a surprise.

That was drama that was armed that night, another one, and I remember receiving many haters / astros saying that it was a lie, that Lauren did not stay who left with Ty and other fans saying that he did stay because there was one more proof of that:

Alejandro looking at someone intensely during the presentation of Camila and that it was not Sinu or any other person but that looked a lot like our emerald green-eyed girl

That video also caused controversy within the fandom, as was the fact that Lauren had teary eyes in her photo taken by the fan. From that fact they told me many things that night, that Lauren was up to marijuana, that she had a cold, that she was not present and others told me that she was crying before Camila's presentation because Tara did not allow her to stay at the performance but who did it thanks to Taylor Swift

But the confirmation and the most relevant proof that Lauren did stay with Camila's performance was given by Camila herself:

After the AMA's

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I think if there is one thing that the fandom and the rest of the world learned is: If you make Camila Cabello angry attentive to the consequences

This has been our most real proof that the girls were together that night. After Tyren's circus and Tara's poor attempt to make us believe that the couple in love went to the club before Camila's presentation went to hell, the fandom had more details about what happened

This image details that Camila had a visit in her hotel room (so Camren) that night and that she stayed until the other day. A fan again taking a picture with both girls in the hotel lobby

Besides we had a lot of fun with the evidence that Tyren was PR all the time

And we had a new feud with TMZ where they explain in an article that the girls were separated to "avoid" confrontations, as if they were at war. Bastards.

https://www.tmz.com/2018/10/10/camila-cabello-fifth-harmony-seating-arrangement-amas-breakup/

I think we won't have something like what we had at the AMA's very soon last year. Or with the same controversy. What we do know is that girls are rebels. With this type of detail we can realize that if they punish them it is because they fight and do not remain silent as bastards like their artists to be, gagged, blind and deaf. They don't love the artists who face them because that means losing money that they can't afford to lose or the power they have over their represented but these girls with or without help were able to kick their asses Maverick and Tara and the entire fandom enjoyed it and celebrated and I hope we can have something similar someday. A thousand apologies for the long will, folks. Thank you for reading

#camren #amas 2018 #amas timeline #long ass post #camz and lolo #pr circus #taylor swift #camila cabello #lauren jauregui #october 9 #camren fandom #the godmother fairy

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natasha-useldinger · 3 years

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The letter to the tempted and tried.

Do you feel that the attack on you’re mind has been stronger lately? Almost as if you are battling with things that you felt you have already dealt with? Or maybe you feel that you are praying for breakthrough in your areas of weakness but cannot seem to overcome them?

If you are, don’t feel alone, myself and many I speak with right now are facing the exact same thing.  I believe that often times when God wants to do his deepest growth in you, temptation will rise up and will try to distract you from the work God is trying to do in your heart. You want to read the bible, but then you sit on your phone, you want to do good works, but you do the opposite.

The spiritual warfare is strategic, when God rises up to fight, the opposition comes on more violently. In true war, when the evil force is being found out, it hides itself in the dark. When God rises up for war, he declares more truth, more honesty, more exposure, and he fights back against deceit and evil.  Think about how Hitler was trying to hide what was happening in Germany, and meanwhile England was working strongly to break the codes of secrecy and evil that Germany was working so hard to maintain. Hitler was an example of growing evil in the dark, he was deceptive, winning fans, making them think he was for them before he destroyed them.

This is what evil does, it hides, it hides the agenda, and then it wreaks havoc.  In times of warfare spiritually, run to God, take refuge in him, let him fight for you, let him teach you how to fight, and get more honest with yourself and others. Run from deceit, and let God expose it. I have had my most incredible breakthroughs by sitting with someone and sharing all the depths of my sin, my brokenness, the stuff I didnt want to be exposed, we prayed, they prayed for me, and it was the very thing I bleive that healed me.To see scripture on this scroll down and read james.

  In times of testing: walk in the opposite spirit. Are you struggling with something that brings you shame? Eating disorders, porn, alcohol addiction, drugs, envy, jealousy, greed, dishonesty? Walking in the opposite spirit means you do the opposite of what evil is trying to lure you in with, and you bring the goodness of God to the table. Eg If you’re struggling with jealousy of someone, praise God for who they are and pray blessing over them. If you’re struggling with lusting after someone, think of how you could protect that person, ask God what it means to protect all humans made in his image. If you’re struggling with money, ask God for more generosity and give, and ask what it means to be generous as he is generous.

 Talk with God about it honestly, go to a friend, find someone older than you who has experienced breakthrough in this area (whatever it is) and give them the authority to encourage you and challenge you. Get radically honest and war against deceit.  

Are you struggling with materialism? Constantly wanting to buy new things or worrying constantly about money? You can’t take time off work for your family? Give more. Give and pray about how to meet others needs and ask God to show you what it means to believe he is able to take care of you. Are you struggling with your health? Praise God in the midst of your suffering. Encourage others facing the same stuff, pray for healing, and ask others to join you.

 I want to note: This isn’t about you doing all the work, it’s about relying on Christ and what he has done, and believing that his transformative work is strong enough to change you. It is also about asking God his perspective.  Remember that “Change uses external influences to modify actions, but transformation modifies beliefs so actions become natural and thereby achieve the desired result.” (see references) So religion is really just trying to change yourself, that’s not what were talking about. Transformation is what comes from Jesus, that is what were talking about. Religion wants to change your behaviour, but Jesus wants to transform the way you think and show you how he sees the world.

 Every time you face temptation or a trial, take it as an opportunity to pass the test well with praise. Praising God in the storm is far more powerful than when you are on land. This is because you are declaring God is faithful when you don’t see it.  True trust and faith in someone, is knowing that when you are not with them or you can’t see them, you know what they will do because you know their character. If you can praise God in your storm, this shows that you know that he is good, even if your circumstances are not. If you do not know what God would do, or if he’s good, or if he’s trustworthy, ask him to use this storm to show you who he is.

 In Deuteronomy, one of the most important ideas in the book is : remember. Remember what God has done. Remember what he’s capable of. Remember, he’s not done yet. We as humans forget every day. We are like the sheep who can’t find their way without the shepherd. Read the bible, you’ll see it: miracle, forget, fear, miracle, forget, fear and it goes and goes and goes.

So today I have three words for you:

 1. Praise God in the storm and pray. Make time to pray and praise a lot, its your way of fighting back.

 2. Remember what he has done. 

3. Walk in the opposite spirit of whatever it is you are facing, and get people involved. Don’t do it alone.  

James 1:2-17  Testing of Your Faith

2 Count it all joy, my brothers,[b] when you meet trials of various kinds, 3 for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. 4 And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 9 Let the lowly brother boast in his exaltation, 10 and the rich in his humiliation, because like a flower of the grass[c] he will pass away. 11 For the sun rises with its scorching heat and withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beauty perishes. So also will the rich man fade away in the midst of his pursuits. 12 Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.13 Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am being tempted by God,” for God cannot be tempted with evil, and he himself tempts no one. 14 But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. 16 Do not be deceived, my beloved brothers. 17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.[d] 18 Of his own will he brought us forth by the word of truth, that we should be a kind of firstfruits of his creatures.

James 5:16 English Standard Version 

16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.[a]  

Daniel 2:16-19 English Standard Version  16

And Daniel went in and requested the king to appoint him a time, that he might show the interpretation to the king. God Reveals Nebuchadnezzar’s Dream 17 Then Daniel went to his house and made the matter known to Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah, his companions, 18 and told them to seek mercy from the God of heaven concerning this mystery, so that Daniel and his companions might not be destroyed with the rest of the wise men of Babylon. 19 Then the mystery was revealed to Daniel in a vision of the night. Then Daniel blessed the God of heaven.

Daniel’s Prayer 9

In the first year of Darius son of Xerxes[a] (a Mede by descent), who was made ruler over the Babylonian[b] kingdom— 2 in the first year of his reign, I, Daniel, understood from the Scriptures, according to the word of the Lord given to Jeremiah the prophet, that the desolation of Jerusalem would last seventy years. 3 So I turned to the Lord God and pleaded with him in prayer and petition, in fasting, and in sackcloth and ashes. 4 I prayed to the Lord my God and confessed: “Lord, the great and awesome God, who keeps his covenant of love with those who love him and keep his commandments, 5 we have sinned and done wrong. We have been wicked and have rebelled; we have turned away from your commands and laws. 6 We have not listened to your servants the prophets, who spoke in your name to our kings, our princes and our ancestors, and to all the people of the land. 7 “Lord, you are righteous, but this day we are covered with shame—the people of Judah and the inhabitants of Jerusalem and all Israel, both near and far, in all the countries where you have scattered us because of our unfaithfulness to you. 8 We and our kings, our princes and our ancestors are covered with shame, Lord, because we have sinned against you. 9 The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving, even though we have rebelled against him; 10 we have not obeyed the Lord our God or kept the laws he gave us through his servants the prophets. 11 All Israel has transgressed your law and turned away, refusing to obey you. “Therefore the curses and sworn judgments written in the Law of Moses, the servant of God, have been poured out on us, because we have sinned against you. 12 You have fulfilled the words spoken against us and against our rulers by bringing on us great disaster. Under the whole heaven nothing has ever been done like what has been done to Jerusalem. 13 Just as it is written in the Law of Moses, all this disaster has come on us, yet we have not sought the favor of the Lord our God by turning from our sins and giving attention to your truth. 14 The Lord did not hesitate to bring the disaster on us, for the Lord our God is righteous in everything he does; yet we have not obeyed him. 15 “Now, Lord our God, who brought your people out of Egypt with a mighty hand and who made for yourself a name that endures to this day, we have sinned, we have done wrong. 16 Lord, in keeping with all your righteous acts, turn away your anger and your wrath from Jerusalem, your city, your holy hill. Our sins and the iniquities of our ancestors have made Jerusalem and your people an object of scorn to all those around us. 17 “Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of your servant. For your sake, Lord, look with favor on your desolate sanctuary. 18 Give ear, our God, and hear; open your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears your Name. We do not make requests of you because we are righteous, but because of your great mercy. 19 Lord, listen! Lord, forgive! Lord, hear and act! For your sake, my God, do not delay, because your city and your people bear your Name.”   Quote from: https://rocknchange.com/change-vs-transformation/

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oneunexpected · 4 years

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I love Free Day because it means I can do Whatever I Want and I get to rb it to tucweek along with the incredible art pieces and insightful analysis other people have made and mine’s just, like, TUC as vines.

Anyway. Here’s the definitive power ranking of all minor characters* in the Underland Chronicles. It's quite long, because I tried to use every character.

Icarus -this DUUUUDE. This GUYYYYY. SUCKS! -“uh-oh looks like I’m infected with the plague better fly directly into a social gathering” -would be an anti-masker probably 0/10

Reekwell and Gushgore -Fangor and Shed part two, but unfunny this time. 1/10 y’all suck give me Fangor and Shed back

Purvox -Purvox is apparently a beautiful red spider who teaches Hazard how to “speak” Spinner. That’s cool. -that’s it. Why did Suzanne even feel the need to name her? I’m grateful for the extra details but 2/10

Ajax -mean. -nobody likes him -this is probably why he gets on so well with Solovet -some sort of flier general, it seems, which is pretty cool 2/10

Hero & Kent -twins, I guess that’s fun -they’re only like eight but they still Smirk Evilly. Good for them 2/10 just because there’s 2 of them

Anchel & Daphne -some randos Keeda mentions as dead. They probably had some sort of significance to be mentioned by name but We’ll Never Know. 2/10 RIP though. I’m sure you’re worth higher than this but I don’t even know who you are

Horatio -crony #1 -has a crush on Dulcet. Didn’t we all 3.5/10. Boosted solely by association with Dulcet

Marcus -crony #2 3/10

Wevox -thought her name was Weavox until I began writing this post -sort of “Was Margaret Thatcher a Girlboss?” vibes -“As it is, Vikus, we will not drink. Web them” is a RAW line and it bounces around my head sometimes -the spiders are clearly very crafty about their political relations but she was not going to hesitate for a MOMENT to consider the ramifications of killing the monarch of Regalia and we gotta respect that -docking points for the girlboss thing, though. 4/10

Stellovet -queen of insults you gotta be honest -had an INCREDIBLE amount of impact for only having like three lines. I remember being like 11 and reading so many fics on Fan Fiction Dot Net where she was a scheming villain -funny how Luxa thinks her endgame is just becoming a princess. She doesn’t care beyond that she just wants to be royalty 4/10

Chim -baby -ok she’s 5 -doesn’t do anything but look confused and help provide a gateway for Howard to look like a good person 5/10, for years of life. What’s even your name? Chimney?

Andromeda -she’s good. She is an Absolute Beast when she crosses the Waterway with Howard and Mareth, definitely saved Mareth’s life -loves Mareth very much :) -shuns Ares at first but comes around, we still gotta knock her for this though 5/10

Clawsin & Bloodlet & Ratriff -Some folks who go to Ripred’s side, Clawsin gets blinded from the Bane, Ratriff gets his arm ripped off by the Bane, it is what it is 5/10 collectively

Reflex -man’s got jokes -very helpful with the code -shoots streamers of silk around the room when they break it -came to Regalia secretly... secretly to whom? The spinners? The gnawers? Whatever, he’s a rebel either way -I had to look up his name though, so apparently not a lot of impact. Sorry Reflex 5/10

Treflex -announced he was joining the quest, then IMMEDIATELY died. Yes king give us nothing -made a good snack? Gross. 5/10

Cevian -the scene where they find her body is beautifully written and so heartbreaking. She’s the catalyst for the entire fourth book -gives Aurora the opportunity to make her first ever big impassioned speech. It’s what Aurora deserved -still, she doesn’t get any dialogue so I can’t vote her super high 5/10

Euripides -seems nice -always described as “Vikus’ big grey bat,” never just big bat, never just grey bat -tells Luxa to teach Gregor how to ride a bat because his neck is getting bruised lol -nice of him not to embarrass Gregor though 6/10 speak up for yourself, king

Pend -takes Boots back to Regalia after the moth brings her to the crawlers’ land -Vikus recognizes him by name which is really impressive since crawlers look pretty homogenous, although we are told Vikus is better than most at picking them out. Still, Pend is probably a high rolling crawler. 6/10

The scorpions -I know I’m supposed to be doing named characters but they’re pretty cool. The passage they’re in is a really fun read. Mad respect 6/10 I’ll see y’all in Scorpio szn, baby

Razor -showed SHAME and GUILT in the first book when he got called out by Ripred -raised Pearlpelt as if he was his own. In payment, Pearlpelt knocked him off a cliff and then tried to eat him to hide the evidence 6/10

Fangor and Shed -funny dudes. -apparently constantly drunk 6/10

Gox -Gox got shit DONE, okay? Gox got shit DONE. -would eat your carcass without a moment of hesitation. It’s fine. 6/10

Hermes -this guy is great! -brings Luxa her crown -gets seriously injured while protecting Lizzie on their way to Regalia -might be dead tbh no one ever says 7/10

Keeda -okay listen. Keeda’s great. Keeda is that warrior at the Battle of Marathon who ran all the way back to Athens to report their victory and immediately die, except Keeda was reporting that the gnawers were about to invade -listen I know she was dealing with some other stuff, but Vikus asks, “how many rats?” And she says “many. Many rats” ??? No estimate? “An army?” Whatever. We give her a pass. 7/10 RIP

Pandora -FUCK -her death was possibly the MOST disturbing passage I’ve ever read. I could see it so, so vividly in my head. Man I remember the horror -she just wanted to explore 7/10 but also 2/10 for emotional trauma

Queen Athena -ICONIC one-liner in Curse of the Warmbloods, absolutely demolishes the gnawers over their treatment of the nibblers -I’m really biased towards her because Athena is my favorite goddess -probably could’ve done more for Ares, especially as seeing she’s supposed to be perceptive and a really good judge of character and whatnot 7/10

Daedalus -flinches in fear when Boots says she’s gonna sing a for him, specifically -basically pledges his life to Lizzie in the event the Code Room is attacked so that’s very nice 7/10

Heronian -she’s in a full body cast, but that will not stop her. 8/10

Susannah -can we talk about how she lost both of her siblings and she just keeps trucking along? -REALLY wish we knew more about her -clearly Very Kind. Can you please ask your daughter to be nicer -takes really good care of everyone she comes across :) 8/10

Min -creaky old cockroach dance 9/10

Frill -was cool -taught everyone the marks of secret -taught Hamnet about pacifism and stuff too -I get the feeling she was wayyyyy more important to Hazard and Hamnet and their survival than Gregor’s narrative really dives into 9/10

Mr. Cormaci -nice man. Gave Gregor quarters. 10/10

Gregor’s grandma -cool lady, you can’t deny! -tells Gregor he can’t outrun his issues -has a super cool quilt -who IS Simon??? 10/10

Scalene, Euclidian, Root, Cube, and Newton -felt obligated to include all these kiddos because they are, in fact, named, even though none of them get any dialogue or anything else for that matter, really -Scalene was a little nibbler pup that found her mom in the Arena, Euclidian and Root are two more that the mom was looking for, Newton was one that no one claimed but some other guy was like “any of us will take him” which is :’) but also, so, so sad. -Cube was the pup Luxa named that ended up in the pit in the Firelands -Scalene and Newton survived a genocide and Euclidian which is baller any way you swing it 10/10

Tick -:( :( :( -the selflessness. -I shipped her with Temp when I was 8? I can’t answer for that 10/10

York -LMAOOOO this guy’s a LEGEND -7 ft tall. -fights with a zweihander. -says fuck, canonically. -hosts hundreds of nibbler refugees -very loving uncle to Luxa, helps her learn how to rule - his exasperated affection towards Howard when he finds out Howard stayed in the Firelands even after he got sick was very cute 10/10

Honorable mentions: Perdita and Dulcet Their roles are too big in the last book to be included in this list, but these ladies both get a 10/10.

#ucfw

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lovemesomesurveys · 3 years

Text

survey by xflirtykaosx

Alphabetti Spaghetti (3/3) Please believe. - P How many pages did the last book you read have? The last book I read has 342 pages.

What do you like on your pancakes? Just good ol’ butter and syrup.

Do you like small parties or large parties more? I’m not a party person, but if I went to a get together I like small ones with people I actually know.

What was the last exam you passed in? The ones I took when I was still in school.

Do you think paw prints are cute? Yeah.

How much would you pay a neighbour to do your lawn? I wouldn’t. Besides, my dad takes care of the lawn stuff.

Ordinary pens, scented pens, gel pens or felt tip pens? Felt tip pens.

Are you a people person? Nope.

Do you put pepper on your scrambled eggs? I do.

Who, except yourself, has the nicest pet? Nope, just me. ha. I don’t know, I haven’t been around anyone else’s pets in awhile.

What's your favourite piece of clothing? My leggings and graphic tees.

What place have you gone to that you never would again? Hmm.

What do others seem to have plenty of and you have little or none? Seems like everyone has energy and I certainly don’t.

Is pink a nice colour, an okay colour or icky? I like it.

Give me a description of a great film plotline? Nah, I don’t have the energy for that.

What do you have in your pockets? My leggings don’t have any pockets. I never use pockets anyway.

Do you listen to podcasts? Just this one Disney related one.

Have you ever played Poker? Nope.

Do you have a pond in your garden? No. Or a garden.

How about a swimming pool? Nope.

Do you like Poptarts? I do.

Do you write notes on post-it notes? It’s been awhile, but sure.

Quiet darling, shh. - Q Do you ever use the word quaint? I don’t recall the last time I said that.

Do you know what quantum physics is? Not really.

Are you a quiet or loud person? Definitely quiet.

Do you usually ask a lot of questions? No. I rarely do. Well, I ask Google a lot of questions ha.

What's your favourite quote from a film? There’s a ton.

Favourite quote from a song? I have a lot of those.

Are you quick witted? In what aspect? No.

Roses are Red and Romance is dead. - R Do you listen to the radio often? I haven’t listened to the radio in years.

Do you prefer rain or snow? We only get rain, so. <<< Same. I do wish it snowed here, though.

Have you ever ran into someone and injured you or them due to it? Yes.

Do you listen to rap music? Yeah.

Do you find pet rats gross or nice? Why? I don’t like rats at all.

Have you ever been to a rave? Nope and have no desire to.

Are you somewhat of a rebel? Ha, no. How about reckless? In some ways.

Do you prefer red, black or purple dresses? Black.

Do you know how to reload a gun? Nope.

Do you remember your first best friends Mum's name? No. I don’t think I ever knew it.

Do you have a good or a bad reputation? I think a good one.

What song do you request most often on the radio? I haven’t done that in yearsssss.

Do you prefer rice or tofu? Mexican or fried rice. I’ve never had tofu, but it doesn’t look or sound appealing.

Have you ever held a rifle? Nope.

Do you know a Robert? What's he like? Yes. I haven’t seen him in several years.

Do you like rollercoasters? Noooo.

Been to Rome, Italy? No, unfortunately.

Are Roses your favourite flower? Sure.

So sweetheart, lets fan. - S Do you feel safe in your neighbourhood? I do.

Whose the Patron Saint of your Country? I have no idea.

Do you put salt on your fries? Only if there’s not already salt or seasoning on them, which typically there is. I don’t add more.

Do you think we are all born the same? In some ways?

When did you stop believing in Santa? I think I was around 7 or 8.

Do you think the name Sarah is pretty? Yeah.

Is Saturday your favourite day of the week? I don’t have a favorite day. All my days blend together.

Have you ever watched Saved By The Bell? Opinions? Yeah. It’s super cheesy, but hey I’m biased towards shows I grew up with so I like it for it nostalgic reasons.

What about the Saw films? Opinion? I like them.

Are you easily scared? Yes.

What's your secondary language, if any? I don’t have one.

Name all the things you can see from where you're sitting? Uh, absolutely not.

What's the last sentence you spoke out loud? “Okay, goodbye.”

Have you changed your default settings on your computer? Some things.

What year did you turn seven in? 1996.

How important is sex in a relationship how important is sex from 1-10? It’s not something of importance to me at this time.

What is your favourite shade of blue? Various shades.

Shade of Purple? Pastel.

Favourite shape? Hearts and stars.

Do you know a girl called Sharon? Nope.

How about Shari? Spelled differently, but yes.

Do you shave your arms, legs, pubic hair and/or somewhere else? I shave, but not all of these areas. <<<

When was the last time you were sick? Now.

What's the worst side effects you've had due to a medication? Nothing too terrible, thankfully. Like, nothing life threatening.

What does your signature look like? Shit. ha.

Do you like silk? What do you own that is silk? It’s okay, but I never actively search for it. I have one set of silk pajamas but that’s it. <<< Yeah. I actually don’t even own anything silk.

Do you sip or drink hot drinks fast? I “nurse” as they say all my drinks. I’m a very slow eater and drinker. I do make sure to enjoy as much as I can of my hot drink while I can, though. I need to get a mug warmer thingy. Nothing beats those first sips of a hot drink.

How about with alcohol? Like I said, I “nurse” all my drinks. I don’t drink alcohol anymore, though.

Do you have sisters? How many, what ages and what're they called? Nope. Is your grandmother older than sixty five? My grandmother passed away, but yeah she would be. My Nana is as well.

Do you slam doors often? I never do.

Have you ever slapped someone in the face? For what reason? No.

Do you snack a lot or just eat big meals? I don’t snack or eat big meals, I just eat what I can. I have a messed up appetite and other eating issues, so how much I eat really varies.

Do you smile more often, or frown? Definitely frown more these days.

Are you wearing socks? Yep. Always.

Do you say sorry too often? Probably.

What's a sound that always soothes you? Ocean waves, rain, and certain ASMR triggers.

Do you carry a lot of spare change? How much is on you now? No.

Do you own a swimsuit of the Speedo brand? I don’t own any swimsuits.

Do you like sunflowers? Sure.

#personal #text #survey #surveys #categories #abcs

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awaylaughing · 3 years

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I was playing around with the girls’ various backgrounds and a few wee HCs for some of them were spawned. There’s smth for each one here, some more or less though. (Pippa has the most tho bc I am. Very biased).

Aurora, Baroness Namaire

- wicked good at poker, she learned from her mother, and went on to teach all her siblings

- has a minor rivalry with one of her baronial neighbour’s wife: in a rare subversion from expectation though it’s centred entirely around creating Revair’s best plum wine, and growing the best northern plums in general. No one has died, been blackmailed, and so far, not one case of arson has occurred. It’s all very atypical.

- was named for her mother’s younger brother, Aurean, who backed the old empire during the coup and was executed for it.

- knows how to patch stucco and fix thatching, skills she’s not had any reason to flex since she was 17.

Michi of Holt

- hates super spicy food, or super spiced food, or even super sweet food – delicate pallet on this one.

- learned to draw because of her third tutor (the first two gave up) who realized that if he let Michi pick the class location and doodle, she learned way better than locking her in a room and yelling at her.

- had a really, really complicated relationship with her maternal grandmother Myrna of Brehna whom she loved, but also resented both for how her grandmother impacted her relationship with her dying mother, and her grandma’s ‘my way or the highway’ approach to teaching Michi etiquette.

- on the note of the Brehnas, Michi is related to Noa via that branch (Myrna’s father is Isador’s paternal grandmother’s brother - making Noa and Michi 4th cousins)

Noa of Hise

- despite the stereotype, much prefers to be decked out in silver (brings out her eyes)

- mildly dyslexic, she spent her childhood doggedly trying to hide her difficulties learned her grandfather, Bantim or “Bonny Tim”, had the thing.

- lived in Wellin for 3 hours after her mother died. Her father insisted they move back, and Noa, worried for his health agreed. Three days in one of Isadore’s brothers made an offhand remark about Blackthorn and Noa alike, and her father walked right out of the parlor and back onto the ship that had brought them to Wellin in the first place, a greatly relieved Noa trailing behind him.

- was terrified of heights when she was a younger, a condition she considered intolerable and thus found her scaling every vertical surface she could find. Cousins or her mother had to got fetch her down a few times, but she largely outgrew it and now she only get queasy very rarely.

Pippa of Corval

- was actually born an fraternal [edit bc I changed my mind] twin, however her sister died after only three days. Corvali traditions wait a week after birth to name children (or, the seventh night, to be more exact), so her sister was never named. Pippa doesn’t have much of an opinion about this, other than joking maybe sharing that space was why she ended up so short (a minor mystery in the family, as her mother’s quite tall and her father wasn’t tall but not really short, either)

- her snake was actually a gag gift to another girl, Mitra who hates snakes. Basically, Pippa cares for Hihissa 9/10 parts of the yeah, and whenever Mitra’s brother visits, Mitra holds her nose and pretends she’s totally been living with this snake for three years.

- looooves rose water sweets. And tea. A scented oils. Basically, smells like a rose garden all the time and aspires to eat one as well.

- had a reputation as a shockingly well behaved child, from the age 2 onward. In truth, she just figured out very, very young that if you agreed with the adults and then did what you wanted in secret, you got praise and could have fun.

- Once wore nothing but saffron dyed clothing for a whole season: it was on a dare by a lady hoping to beggar a rival. Alas for the lady, she did not realize the Pippa’s mother, Roshan, actually owns several acres of saffron fields. Roshan felt supporting her daughter’s flex was worth eating into the profits for a season (but just one).

- named for her aunt, Philippa, her father’s sister who died age 4. In fact, Philippa was meant to be her full first name but her mother never liked it, and so changed it to just be Pippa after Judicael died. A small selection of people do still insist on calling her Philippa however, assuming Pippa to be a familiar nickname.

- (technically her first name is Mehr, but that acts as a sort of generation name for girls in her family, and thus goes unused.)

- No one actually calls her Pip, she just wasn’t going to tell of a Princess so went the most obvious option outside of telling her Pippa is technically a nickname

- semi related to above: astonishes her mother with how much of her personality is a vivid reflection of Judicael’s, despite Pippa being born posthumously to him. The only major difference really is Pippa is more scheming - and from a Corvali perspective, Pippa’s an outright Non-Schemer, so that tells you more about Judicael than it does Pippa.

- lowkey hates wearing shoes, avoids when possible (and thus, pays special attention to her toes haha)

Temperance of Arland

- secretly a fan of adventure novels, especially “gentleman explorer” types. Her supplier is the head chef’s son, who leaves them under a bush in the garden for her to borrow from his rather less restricted collection.

- hates chocolate – cannot stand it in any form

- found out at 12 she was almost named Claudia and sort of wishes that had happened – there’s like 13 “princess Temperance”es in the Arlish royal family history, only two Claudias.

- is a natural blonde, but does secretly lighten her hair. As she grew up, it darkened to near-brown blonde. Temperance lightens it in pseudo-secret, because she’s not supposed to be so vain, despite also having to always be pretty.

- pretty neutral towards Innocent, who is 18 years her junior (she’s 25, having been just this side of 17 for the last Summit)

- in Zinnia’s World State, she’s a Wellish lady, daughter of a Landgravine, and far happier for it (her parents are basically a love match that was also politically astute, so it being recreated in another timeline is not unlikely).

Yaen of Jiyel

- grew up in the far, far south of Jiyel, and has never quite gotten used to the northern seasons in the capital.

- lowkey wanted to run away and be a pirate from ages 5-8, looking back, she’s not sure why she outgrew that particular wish

- would eat lemons like oranges except it makes her teeth feel worryingly weird

- when we say “minor lady” we mean it - the family was only entitled in the last three generations - Loda’s father being the rare true blue meritocracy story, going from poor fisherman’s son to high ranking civil servant in his life. Her mother in comparison didn’t have a title at all - but her family were wealthy merchants, specializing in dyes and fabric. Her stepmother, however, is the daughter of a (3rd rank) Marquis, but with three elder brothers that means very little in the land of titles - even for her step mother’s biological sons.

- the nickname used by her father, mother and older sister, Lian, is bug. For obvious reasons, she did not share this with Ana. Her step-mother could use it - Yaen wouldn’t mind, but doesn’t feel comfortable doing so for the simple reason that she’s a naturally anxious woman.

- it’s an open family secret she’s not actually Loda’s biological daughter, but she doesn’t know who her “real” father is. She’s not exceptionally curious about it however - in part because she doesn’t want to hurt Loda in any way more.

Zinnia of Arland

- is the only MC in my roster outside Pippa to have read the Corval Satires, Constance sent her an annotated collection six months before the Summit. “For research”.

- didn’t see her father once between the age of 1 and 7, spending those 6 years on her mother’s private lands while her mother coalesced and avoided her husband. As such, had very atypically non-stodgy (but by no means improper) childhood than most Arlish princesses (Helah is 100% going to be blamed for Zinnia marrying an Arlish Earl oh the shame)

- frequently broke into Prosper’s nursery growing up, because he was her brother and she wanted him to have as much fun with his big sister as she remembered having with Constance as a child (results: fewer frogs caught, but similar levels of big sister adoration from the younger sibling)

- her rebel streak has always been semi-obvious, usually in her doggedly dressing to her own standards – which usually just meant picking colours not necessarily in season (greatly favours greens and browns, not least because the Princess Dowager, her great aunt Evalina was overheard saying she looked like bog-witch in those colours)

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twilightofthe · 5 years

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In celebration of Mutual Acquaintances.. Satine: 5, 6, 7, 8, 28, 31, 42, 47, 48; Obi-Wan: 7, 8, 12, 14, 27, 31, 33, 47, 48; Padmé: 4, 6, 7, 8, 12, 18, 19, 28, 33, 34, 39, 42; The Disaster Boi: 10, 12, 14, 18, 20, 22, 28, 29, 31, 33 and bc we all need more sexuality headcanons, 13 for ALL of them

Whooo-WEE here we go, thank you! Get ready for VERY VERY LONG Rambling!

SATINE

(5) Cleanliness habits: Oh, she’s a total neat freak. Everything in her office is minimalist style and organized to a T. If someone moved something even an inch, she’ll be hounding everyone about who was messing with her stuff. Constantly washing hands, very clean, doesn’t like dust on stuff at all (has a bit of a dust allergy, actually. Lily pollen getting everywhere is a Problem for her). She’s practical, however, and if she HAS to get down and dirty, she will-- of course not without a suitable amount of icky faces made plus a side of complaints xD

(6) Eating habits and sample daily menu: Ok so we’ve got canon showing her eating meat, but don’t tell me Super Pacifism Lady wouldn’t IRL be that one ubervegan friend of yours on Facebook who’s constantly posting weird things about it and you gotta be like “aight Katie chill”. ANYWAY, so I’d say Satine in canon eats healthy-ish? She’s not the biggest fan of breakfast foods and is always up in the morning doing stuff, so she sometimes forgets to have anything besides black coffee. She’s not a particularly picky eater so she’ll eat whatever the cook is serving that day, but she prefers simpler meals, and can cook for herself (which came in handy during the Year On The Run because neither Obi Wan nor Qui Gon can cook for shit (my canon is no one in that line besides Anakin can cook and I’ll die with it) and eventually Satine was like “guys, I’m sorry, but no, u can’t try and protect me and then poison me at dinnertime. I’ll cook”). She does like to pair her evening meals with whatever drink she’s having that night. I also h/c her as a functioning alcoholic, so she’s always got SOMETHING to drink, but she is trying to work on restraint and control because when she was younger it got... Not Good at one point. She also has a sweet tooth though, and she really likes chocolate!

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Satine is a... twitchy.... individual with a stressful job, so she is kinda conditioned into stressing the heck out if she’s got too much free time. Therefore, a lot of her free time is spent trying to relax. Cleaning is theraputic for her, so she does clean (yes, there is a cleaning droid but it is nOT GOOD ENOUGH) when she can. She likes that Mando sword box game we saw Sabine and Fenn Rau playing in Rebels, it clears her head and lets her practice problem solving. She likes going for walks too. She’ll sneak down to the kitchens and just make a bunch of sandwiches. She does enjoy beautiful things, so I’d say shopping for dresses or browsing art galleries is good too. I also think she’d be the type to read and write poetry, then save bits she likes.

(8) Indulgences: Look, Satine likes Nice Things, ok? She does consider fancy wardrobe and buying nice paintings a bit of an indulgence, but she adores color so she excuses that as promoting happiness for the people. As so she does a fancy ship and other fancy trinkets around the house. She’s not a huge fan of most people touching her, but she allowed a massage once... she would be amendable to perhaps another in the future......... Scented candles are nice too, clears the head. She refuses to consider chocolate an indulgence because it is obviously the gods’ gift to humanity, excuse you. Are we calling lusting over her secret forbidden boyfriend an indulgence????

(28) Who is their best friend? Their worst enemy? The sad thing about Satine Kryze is that canon wise, she is extremely lonely. Literally everyone she trusts betrays her at some point-- which also makes worst enemy pretty hard too. In my verse, this has led to her kind of shutting away from friends because people always leave her-- though I’d say she’s always been close with Padmé; she sent aid to Naboo after the Federation Blockade and got to know and became extremely impressed with the young Queen, and they kept in touch afterwards. Whether they could be together or not, I’d always say Obi Wan was her best friend too because that’s ALWAYS necessary in a relationship, and they clearly stayed in contact and knew each other like the back of their hands. I’d honestly say her worst enemy is herself, cliché as it is, because girlie makes a LOT of mistakes-- and then never learns from them or even acknowledges they exist besides an “oh whoops, that happened, we fixed it, everyone as you were”. I get it wasn’t meant that way, but she legit committed ethnic cleansing against her political opponents. I hate to say it, but there are very valid reasons for a lot of people to Not Like Her (none of the guys who attack her on the show count because they’re literally all douchecanoes fuck them), and she kind of shoots herself in the foot trying to fix the problem but making it worse. I h/c her as having a lot of self-loathing problems because she is trying to fix things but nothing ever works and that must be her problem so she must try harder without ever confronting what exactly her problem is.

(31) Most prized possession: Woah, never really thought of that. As much as I want to say “pressed flower from Obi Wan”, that’s a little too sappy. I’m going to go with this. There is a famous Mandalore version of The Art of War, and Satine has an uber-extremely-rare first edition copy given to her from her father, who was a master strategist and had the wealth and power to collect nice things like that. Satine may be a pacifist, but she has her family’s warrior’s spirit, and she enjoys adapting the book’s battle strategies to her own political fights and how she shapes her own life. It’s an actual old paper book, so she keeps it in a locked box under her bed and only ever reads it by candlelight with special gloves on to protect the pages.

(42) Hobbies: Like I said before, cleaning, writing poetry, the occasional cooking. Oh! Whenever she has Korkie over, she lets them pick the activity they do. This may or may not lead to Duchess Satine Kryze of Mandalore getting very invested in Space Mario Kart. She’s good at it too! So yes, gamer girl, and she also likes looking at art and she’s also also pretty good at dancing and yoga, which she does a bit of both for exercise. She also enjoys watching shows at the theater, but she’s weird in the way where she refuses to watch TV or movies because they’re “not as good”.

(47) If they were to fall in love, who or what is their ideal: I’d say trust is the most important thing for her, given how many things go wrong in her life. Someone she can trust to be herself around instead of The Duchess and can both support her when she’s falling but also call her on her bullshit (or try to, anyway) when needed. Again, she likes nice things, so she tends to fall for super attractive people lol. Another thing is, she likes to feel safe. She goes for the protectors, those who fight for everyone and can come back and hold her tight in a hug if she feels like she’ll fall apart because she sometimes needs someone to protect her too. They also have to be as smart as she is (only smarter if they’re not a dick about it) so she can have intellectual conversations (indignant yelling matches), and she needs someone who can match the firecracker she can tend to be, someone who can jump right in after her. Not a weakling, basically xD

(48) How do they express love: She just says it (”I love you”), if they’ll let her. If they don’t let her or she can’t for some reason (*coughOBIcoughcough*), she becomes frustrated because she isn’t always the best, emotion-wise, and she worries she’ll make the wrong gesture or do something to mess up, so frustration can build towards the other person so she can also be very snappy at them. In general though, familial or romantic or platonic, it’s just lots of soft smiles that no one else sees, letting them see her in casual clothing, teasing them or telling jokes, trusting them enough to tell them about the confusion and stress inside her head.

OBI WAN

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Obi Wan is of the opinion that time enjoyed is never wasted, so he only views wasted time as exactly that: time that could be spent doing something but is instead being wasted not doing anything or doing something he doesn’t like. His favorite things to do when he has time to himself are read (he’s not picky, he’ll read most things with an interesting plot, though he does enjoy a good mystery or historical nonfiction), watch trashy tv shows (he’s only watching them to judge how bad they are, it’s Anakin’s fault, really, he watched them first, and Obi Wan just needs to know what happens next--), sketch random objects (he’s a pretty good artist, and it’s relaxing), do research on stuff because he is a NERD, go bug Anakin and/or Ahsoka because he honestly delights just sitting in their company and hear them talk about their day, drink with friends, spar (with Anakin, preferably, he’s the most of a challenge because he knows him so well, and he’s the only one who doesn’t hold back at all), sit in the Temple gardens and check on Qui Gon’s favorite flowers he planted there and bask in the serenity of it all.

(8) Indulgences: Ooooohhhh this is hard because Obi Wan is so Obi Wan about that sort of stuff, it can be difficult to read what he would do xD I’ll say he indulges in food? That while Jedi probs have a pretty strict health food diet, on the weekends or once a weekday he indulges in getting nice stuff for breakfast, ice cream for dessert, fried food at Dex’s because why not, it tastes good and Anakin did a good job today or he did a good job today and that deserves something, so oh well, he’ll just work out harder tomorrow. He’s also has some very nice old teas he saved from Qui Gon The Absolute Tea Snob he’ll have when he feels he needs it, and he’s got a cabinet with like four bottles of different really good, expensive alcohols that he’ll drink when he REALLY feels he needs it. I’ll also say this, boi is vain about his hair. Will never admit it in a million years, but he is, so he’s probs got at least some sort of haircare products that aren’t exactly necessary, ya know xD. He also does like his creature comforts when available, so I’d say he’s got a couple super fluffy blankets and maybe the thread count in his sheets are a bit higher than average cuz hey, soft things are nice. He also indulges in being lovey and mushy to the people he cares about

(12) Favorite book genre: Hey, I kinda talked about that! So yeah, I’d say he’ll probs try anything, but he likes mysteries and thrillers since with a book the Force can’t give you any Bad Feelings about anyone, so the surprises are genuine surprises. He also likes historical nonfiction because he is a NERD, but he’ll absolutely pick up whatever’s at the top of the Galactic Times Bestseller’s List if it’s there and give it a chance

(14) Physical abnormalities (including injuries/disabilities, illnesses, allergies): His right hip acts up in the cold from an old slug wound there (Anakin does indeed tease him about being an old man), over half of his teeth are fake or replaced because come on, have y’all seen how often he’s been hit in the face? Scars literally everywhere because everyone and everything has tried to murder him at some point or another. I h/c him with ADD, depression, anxiety, and dyscalcula (he had to really work to be good with numbers) as well as PTSD because basically all of the Jedi do at some point (someone HELP THEM). He also has TMJ, which I also have and I project my issues. It gets worse when you’re stressed and grind teeth, so it’s valid. Idk whether it’s canon or fanon that he has some food allergies, but I am ALL FOR IT with him just... forgetting about them??? And then eating some food and be like “hwoops I’m dying lol” while Anakin is like seriously Master again? and legit ends up the Mom friend with a list of foods like “is there gonna be this food in it? Cuz he can’t eat it” and then he’ll eat it anyway cuz it looks good and Anakin is all “what do you have in your MOUTH” and he’ll be like “uh” and yeah, that sounds funny

(27) Biggest regret: WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS. ok so we all know how literally everything about Obi Wan’s life is a mcfreaking nightmare. We ALSO know he blames himself for literally everything. So yea, he’s got a looooot of regrets. I’d say his biggest though is not being a good enough Jedi (in his opinion) to save those he cared about (Qui, Satine, Anakin, Pads, the entire dang Jedi Order, etc.). Maybe just not a good enough person, in his eyes. If he hadn’t screwed up somehow, everyone would still be here and fine and omg someone help him

(31) Most prized possession: Luke Skywalker. Ok, not actually, but y’all can’t deny Luke was Obi Wan’s greatest treasure. I’d say actually tho it’s holos, of people he loves and cares about, in a kind of album he keeps to himself. He hates having his own picture taken, but he loves seeing the smiling, laughing faces of everyone he knows (and is reminded of them when they’re no longer here).

(33) Concept of home and family: He always feels like other people overcomplicate this. Home is where you feel safe to always return, where you belong, and family is those you love and wish to spend your life with. Now, the fact that he only really allows himself to acknowledge the Jedi as a whole as his family and doesn’t exactly allow himself to dwell on specifics like what Anakin means exactly to him, what Ahsoka means, what Qui Gon meant, because he does love everyone as a family, why does he have to define it? That’s a whole ‘nother basket of his issues lol

(47) If they were to fall in love, who or what is their ideal: Obi Wan Kenobi has always been attracted to chaos and danger like a moth to a flame, so anyone he loves is gonna be a whirlwind of an individual. He likes someone who can challenge him, who can test him. He likes someone who’s loud and bright, the stars at the center of solar systems that everyone else can’t resist orbiting around and Obi Wan is no different. He likes snappy humor and the amusement he can get from playfully bugging them into hissing at him. They have to match him as a team, they have to be able to work with him (and he knows he’s not always the easiest to work with) and have his back. He likes passion, he likes dramatics, he likes the kind of strange ones that other people find a bit hard to get along with, but he couldn’t love them any different from themselves.

(48) How do they express love:

PADMÉ

(4) What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy: Assuming the people in the kitchen were not making food, Padmé would fix them with a firm Senatorial Scolding Face and ask them politely if they could move it somewhere else. She can easily outargue any protests; the kitchen is for cooking and she needs to make dinner! If ppl were making food in the kitchen, Pads would roll up her sleeves and ask what she could do to help so it would be done faster and she could get started. She grew up with her mother insisting her and Sola help out with all the household chores, kitchen duty included, so she’s a fine cook. Anakin learned to cook from his mother too, so sometimes their husband/wife bonding time will include just making dinner together and enjoying each others’ company. In an OT4 situation with Obes and Satine, Obi Wan is the only one out of the four of them who Cannot Cook and is legit banished from the kitchen except for making drinks/certain desserts, so it ends up with Anakin, Padmé, and Satine all talking and laughing while preparing food while Obi Wan pouts sits in the doorway and talks from there

(6) Eating habits and sample daily menu: Ok, so you know how I said Satine can sometimes get distracted by work and skip breakfast? Well Padmé is like that but worse. She gets so busy with duties, she just forgets to eat for very long periods of time, and then she’ll be doing something and be like “woah, I’m hungry, I don’t think I’ve eaten today,” and Sabé/Anakin/Bail/whoever she’s with will just be like padmé nO. When she does eat, however, she is one of those crazy people who Does Not Like Sweets. Like, at all, they just don’t agree with her. Anakin is scandalized. Satine is scandalized. Everyone is. She just doesn’t like them. She’ll eat fruit, but that’s as sweet as it gets. So when she does remember to eat, or if she’s going out for a dinner, it’s usually something pretty healthy-- though Pads will confess to a weakness for nice cheeses. There’s also this one really greasy bad fried chip thing that she’s got a secret weakness for. Padmé’s also not a huge alcohol person; like, she’ll drink when others do, she’s not a lightweight or anything, but she won’t seek it out herself, just, something about the taste, and she doesn’t like not being in control of her head.

(7) Fave way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time: Honey, Padmé is from Naboo. The luxury planet. They know how to lazily waste time in style. She loves long baths and listening to classical music, walking in nature (she loves flowers), practicing new hair styles, facials and manicures. She also reads the gossip columns (no she doesn’t, you never heard that) because she needs the tea. She just do. She likes to read and study new languages (because she is Queen Overachiever) or just add to her bucket list of Ways To Improve The Galaxy. Padmé totally has a Space Pinterest. In reality, she trained herself from a young age how to relax so being a teenager in planetary politics didn’t literally kill her.

(12) Favorite book genre: ROMANCE! It’s canon that Pads is just such an ushy, gushy romantic of a person, so she likes stuff like Space Jane Austen and all the other romantic books. She refuses to associate with Anakin’s trashy dollar romances, she thinks they’re bad writing. He does not agree. He also called one of her faves boring once. They do not discuss books. But also Padmé likes political history and civilization books cuz politician, and she’s pretty into the mysteries like Obi Wan is. She likes religious texts too, learning about different ones, she finds it interesting. Reading can be hard for her because I h/c her as dyslexic, but she loves it too much.

(18) Favorite beverage: Spiced cider. She could get it homemade back on Naboo; cool and refreshing when iced but warm and tangy and perfect when heated.

(19) What do they think about before falling asleep at night: If Anakin’s not with her, she always thinks about him not being there. She can’t help it. If he is with her, she thinks about how much she loves him. She also tends to do a mental to do list every night of what she needed to do before bed and if she’s gonna allow herself to sleep now or not. She also has another mental to do list so she knows what she’s gonna do when she wakes up in the morning. With the damned war dragging on, more and more nights are spent going to bed troubled and worried for the future. She also daydreams, though, of what she can do after. Her happily ever after.

(28) Who is their best friend? Their worst enemy?: This is hard because Pads is so friendly with everyone!!! Queen’s Shadow really made me fall in love with Padmé and Sabé, but I’ll always be a sucker for the canon and fanon where Padmé’s best friend is Bail Organa. I’m sorry, but Bail is just a cinnamon roll of a human being, and he’s such a calm, levelheaded friend for Pads where she can be a bit overeager and chomping at the bit sometimes, but he’s also ALWAYS got her back and she can talk to him about stuff and ahhhhh and he literally raises her daughter as his own and gahhhhhh. Is it messed up if I almost want to say Padmé’s worst enemy is Anakin? I mean to be more general: her worst enemy is the Sith, as they destroyed the Republic and her entire life’s work and corrupted her husband and depending on if you believe the “draining life forces” theory (which I do) they killed her. But Anakin was the one who got past her defences, took her by surprise, and unknowingly ended up playing the most active role in her destruction, which is immensely tragic for both of them because all he ever wanted to do was love her (*crying*).

(33) Concept of home and family: For Padmé, home isn’t so much a place, but an idea of where you can feel closest and most at one with those you’ve decided to share your life with. Yeah, she’ll always love Naboo, but you saw how choked up she got in that TCW episode where Anakin called her Coruscant apartment “home”; for her, home is a state of mind. Family is a bit different; she’ll always have a bit of an idealization towards her own parents’ marriage and how she’s seen Sola’s, and how families developed from that. Canon shows she’s envious because she can’t have that, the 2.5 kids and a dog with a white picket fence outside and a large backyard mentality. She has issues over being separated from family; she had to drop the Naberrie name to go into politics, so I’m guessing there’s some distance felt there, and she can’t even publicly acknowledge her own husband as her husband, so she’ll cling to the idea of a “perfect” family as a someday, as a maybe, and working towards that someday and the long goal she can forget just how complicated and messy her real family-- her parents and sister, her husband, her husband’s new adoptive sister, her husband’s boyfriend, his weird side of the family --is. It’s even more pronounced when everything is falling apart in Revenge of the Sith and it’s obviously falling apart and Anakin is obviously Not Fine, she tries to retreat and take her comfort in “oh but when the baby comes and we can be a Family, things will all work out perfect! It’ll be okay!!!”

(34) Thoughts on privacy (are they a private person, or are they prone to TMI): Padmé is an extremely private person. She’s been in the public spotlight since she was thirteen years old. Everyone’s always staring at her, what she’s wearing, what her opinions are, how she acts, who she’s with. Padmé has nearly nothing she doesn’t have to share with the public eye, so what she does have to herself she tends to hoard and not show anyone except for those she implicitly trusts. Now, whether she’s any good at keeping secrets is a whole other story, but she certainly tries!!! xD

(39) What recharges them when they’re feeling drained: Anakin can make things better or worse for her depending on the mood he’s in and the mood she’s in, but he usually makes her feel better just by showing up and being a dork. She likes her greasy chip snacks and a good book, but she’s a sucker for a good spa day complete with fluffy, comfortable clothing. Also, Padmé loves cat naps, and is the queen of setting an alarm and taking short power naps that actually have her waking up refreshed.

(42) Hobbies: Is creating new outfit designs via Space Pinterest a hobby? Because Padmé does that. Padmé is also the type of person to have a Space Candy Crush problem, and I completely believe that Satine got her into Space Mario Kart (Satine’s actually pretty good at it and Pads isn’t good at it at all, so it’s in no way fair, but they have fun xD). Padmé loves creating flower arrangements too, just creating beautiful things makes her happy. She loves calling one of her handmaidens over and having martial arts practices because she needs to stay ready to defend herself, but also it’s just fun and she’s a good fighter. Padmé’s also into scrapbooking, she makes a bunch of adorable books she puts together, and she gave one to Anakin on their first anniversary and he cried (she hides them, don’t worry).

AHHHNAKIN...

(10) Neuroses: Hooo boy, there’s a lot! Okay, so Anakin is a very handsy person. When he’s nervous or uncomfortable or stressed, he’ll always need something to do with his hands, whether that be fiddling with his clothes, tugging at his hair, messing with the digits on his mechanohand, poking at the wall patterns or other objects. In general, he hates sitting still and has a tendency to fidget if he has to for too long. He will also either stare you directly in the eye or dislike making eye contact at all, depending on his mood. Fiddling with machine parts gives him something to focus his mind and his hands on, so that’s a real big help for him if they’re available, often times he just keeps scraps in his pockets for specifically this purpose. He’s sort of aware he does this, but he doesn’t like to think about it much because that would mean thinking why, and if you try and point any of them out to him he’ll get embarrassed and probs just snap at you.

(12) Favorite book genre: Anakin really isn’t much of a book person. It has to do with his focus issues (I h/c him as ADHD), they just aren’t really able to draw him in enough to keep his attention. It frustrates him because that’s another reason why ppl imply he isn’t smart, which is dumb, he can read just fine, he just doesn’t like to. He does like the trashy penny romances I mentioned before. What can he say? He’s a sucker for the drama and swooning and Epic Proclamations of Love. He’ll read books about the latest ships and speeder models too, because he’s interested in that. He’ll also read tactical strategy books too, because of the war and all. It’s just not his go-to form of entertainment.

(14) Physical abnormalities (including injuries/disabilities, illnesses, allergies): Metal hand. Eye scar. At one point is one big giant asthmatic burn scar who’s like 80% robot. But we’ll focus on Anakin as of now. When he was a child, some brute in the market cracked him hard across the back with something heavy. It damaged his spine, and Shmi was terrified for a while he’d never walk. Thankfully, he recovered, but now his spine is funny as in it is super flexible. Like backbends where it looks like he’s snapped in half, that flexible. It gives him fantastic advantages in acrobatics and combat, but it also means he can do that creepy walk the girl from The Ring can do. He has managed to successfully scare the living piss out of Obi Wan, Padmé, Ahsoka, Rex, and multiple others on different occasions by emerging from the shadows in the middle of the night doing the Ring walk. No one was pleased. Yoda thinks it’s hilarious though. Anakin gets hit in the face just as much Obi Wan does, so he also only has like less than half of his real teeth still in his mouth. Is also covered in various scars from people trying to kill him dead. In total, I project many mental illnesses onto him, so I say he has anxiety, ADHD, BPD, and PTSD. His super strongness in the Force means he is a complete lightweight, so alcohol is an uh oh for him; the only positive is that he never gets hangovers. It also means that Force sensitive objects may suddenly go flying at his head when he’s just trying to casually stroll through a creepy old temple. I also h/c that Anakin is allergic to tookas/lothcats. No other animals, just them. And it’s hilarious when on one occasion some kittens made their way into a briefing room and he just bursts into a sneezing fit, which, why are you all laughing at me? and then Rex points out the little kitten just perched on the top of his head. Poor baby actually does chafe pretty badly from sand too, so his hatred isn’t completely unwarranted.

(18) Favorite beverage: Coffee with a gazillion lumps of sugar in it, protein powder because he’s all about the grind, a hint of space chili pepper, and like a dozen other ingredients that should Not Go In Coffee (one of the ingredients Is Bugs). Obi Wan claims he tasted the concoction once and had hallucinations. Ahsoka says she saw a drop melt the edge of the tabletop. Padmé won’t go anywhere near it. Anakin says they’re all cowards; it’s the only thing that can get him up and focused in the morning.

(20) Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?: I h/c that amongst the slaves, Shmi was the local medicine woman. Therefore, Anakin as a child was constantly getting first exposure to all the local sicknesses and building up immunity, so besides one bout of food poisoning, he never got sick as a kid. Once he got to the Temple... well, he was past the age where all the other kids had gotten vaccinations, Obi Wan, bless him, hates dealing with medical and was distracted by everything else and kind of forgot to make sure Anakin was up to date with everything, so he caught EVERYTHING. EVERY LITTLE THING WOULD MAKE HIM SICK. HE HATED IT. OBI WAN HATED IT BECAUSE THE ONLY SICK PATIENT WORSE THAN ANAKIN IS HIMSELF. IT NEVER ENDS. ANAKIN IS TWENTY TWO YEARS OLD AND STILL CATCHING SHIT LIKE THE SPACE CHICKEN POX. THIS ISN’T FAIR.

(22) Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?: Lots of writings of stuff like “Padmé Skywalker” or “Anakin Kenobi” cuz Ani is at heart a 12 year old girl. Ok ok ok, but actually, there would be lots of different stuff on the page. Mathematical calculations for ships and designs because he is a canon engineering nerd and I h/c he’s a whiz at math. Also little doodles. Anakin’s not a bad artist himself; his style is much more cartoonish than Obi Wan’s, but it means he can do cool little actions scenes of different ships or pods, him being a badass, Yoda getting attacked by space seagulls, etc. Maybe designs for another japoor carving (I h/c he keeps the hobby). Or, the page might be folded up as Anakin turned it into either a boat or a hat or an airplane that actually flies, or just a ball of paper he set on fire because he was bored.

(28) Who is their best friend? Their worst enemy?: OBI WAN KENOBI FOR BOTH OF THEM DAMMIT ANAKIN WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS. Alright, alright, in reality, his worst enemy is probably more of a combination of himself and his own fears, Sidious for being an evil, manipulative asshole, and society for creating his fears and traumatizing him (though mostly it’s himself because he absolutely had the choice to do the right thing, but he didn’t). Obi Wan is absolutely his best friend though. No competition.

(29) Reaction to extrapersonal disaster (eg Oh no, the house is on fire! What do we do?): For Anakin “I burned down the Republic because you left for an afternoon and I panicked” Skywalker? “Ok, no problem, I got this. I’ve got this. No, wait, I don’t got this. I defiNITELY DO NOT GOT THIS, I MADE IT WORSE, HOLY SHIT, NO ONE PANIC, I NEED AN ADULT-- (Ahsoka: You are an adult) --I NEED AN ADULTIER ADULT.”

(31) Most prized possession: His loved ones ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ And we’ve got at least six movies and a tv show telling us exactly how that did Not Go Well For Anyone

(33) Concept of home and family: Hmmm. I’d say where he feels safe and comfortable. Again, it’s stated in the show he feels at home at Padmé’s, but honestly? He refuses to acknowledge Tatooine cuz ya know, the slavery, so he never really had a strong childhood home, and while I want to say he considered the Temple home at one point, , I’m not sure he does because I feel he’s always on red alert for things to get worse so he never really lets himself get comfortable anywhere-- not even Padmé’s. Family is a bit easier for him; a group of people who love each other-- and for Anakin, it doesn’t have to be blood relations but if you ARE related by blood, you’re a family member by default and he will be Very Offended by blood relations who cut away from their families because he feels if you’re connected like that, you should love each other.

#that took a WHILE but i had fun!#hope y’all agree or at least thought ‘hey that makes sense’#feel free to tell me your own!#one (1) hot mess #our only ho #queen of my heart #peace out #team hot mess #star-crossed lovers #when we were young #political wives #the big 4

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johannesviii · 4 years

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 1991

Weirdly enough, even if I was only 3 years old, there is one (1) song on this list which is there purely because of nostalgia, so.... yep, this is where the nostalgia bias actually starts, believe it or not.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

This list was wayyyy easier to make than the previous ones and I’ve actively listened to everything on it at some point or another in my life.

Also, after 1989 my sources for the French year-end lists are way more reliable, so that’s always something.

10 - Fading Like a Flower (Roxette)

US: #44 / FR: Not on the list

I swear this was already on this list in my drafts before reading the recent news. It was a bit of a shock.

Rest in peace.

9 - Shiny Happy People (REM)

US: #100 / FR: #86

Long ago, I saw someone calling this song REM’s worst song because it was, and I quote, “too happy to feel genuine, to the point of being disturbing”.

Implying that’s a flaw and not a feature.

8 - Je t’Aime Mélancolie (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #39

I don’t know who told Mylène Farmer she could mumble rap but that person needs to be found and... uh, and nothing, because the verses kinda suck but they’re just mildly annoying at worst and kinda funny at best. The music and the chorus are great though, to the point where I’m willing to put up with the rest.

That’s the point where someone who knows about her discography would go “but Johannes if you wanted to put an average MF hit song from 1991 on this list, Regrets was right there” and to that I’d answer “does this list look like a funeral?”

7 - Wind of Change (Scorpions)

US: #39 / FR: #3

Oooooh I listened to this a lot when I was 16. I even bought a battered vinyl version I found in a garage sale, just for collector purposes. You all know it, and I don’t have anything particularly interesting to say about it, but yeah, still great song to this day.

6 - Poupée Psychédélique (Thierry Hazard)

US: Not on the list / FR: #8

It’s a song mocking fashion and some of the ridiculous standards expected from women - the singer basically makes a long list of qualities and clothes for his completely artificial “psychedelic doll” who has “infinite legs” but who’s also made of “100% synthetic matter” and “needs batteries”.

This song is the one which landed on the list purely because of nostalgia, though. According to my father, little Johannes would start dancing every time it was on the radio, and yeah, I remember not getting most of the words of the song, nor, of course, the subtext. To tiny me, this was clearly a song about a guy who had an incredibly cool doll and wanted to tell the whole world about it.

I still like the song a lot today, mind you.

5 - The One and Only (Chesney Hawkes)

US: #93 / FR: Not on the list

This is on my “Fitz Kreiner” playlist and it’s one of my chosen theme songs for Fitz. I only discovered it a few years ago but I enjoy it a lot.

4 - Né en 17 à Leidenstadt (Fredericks, Goldman & Jones)

US: Not on the list / FR: #64

Nothing I could say would make that one justice if you don’t know about it yet (which I kind of expect since I’m pretty sure most of my followers don’t speak French to begin with), so here’s the song itself, and here’s a translation.

I love it but I respect it even more, to be honest.

3 - Losing My Religion (REM)

US: #33 / FR: #16

I have a strange history with this one, because it used to be very high on my lists of favorite songs. VERY.

And then... I don’t know. I got fed up with it in absolute record time. And it disappeared from my lists, my tapes, my head, everything. I genuinely don’t know. I still like it, I guess? It’s fine?

What happened? It’s like someone used one of these memory-wipe things from Men In Black to make me forget why I ever liked this song. ♫ That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, losing my favorite songs ♫

I’ve got no clue. It’s still #3 for this 1991 list, though.

2 - Crazy (Seal)

US: #75 / FR: #31

I. Adore. This song.

I mean. Of course I do, it’s almost at the top of this list. But hear me out. For literal years, I only had one (1) partial recording of it on a tape, beginning in the middle of the last sentence of the first verse, I didn’t know who was singing it or what it was called, I labelled it “? a little crazy?” on the sticker, and that was it. And yet I would listen to that song a lot. A looooooot. It is that good, and it’s a shame I never really connected with this guy’s songs again afterwards, but that one right there? Amazing.

I finally found what it was around 2004, and it instantly claimed a spot on my top 30, right next to friggin Moonlight Shadow.

If it was any other year, it would claim the top spot very easily.

Alas, this is 1991. There was always going to be one obvious winner and no one else.

1 - Désenchantée (Mylène Farmer)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

I will forever be salty about this monster of a hit being denied its year-end #1 on the FR chart by a terrible novelty song. F o r e v e r.

About 17 years after I first made contact with Mylène Farmer, I’m no longer a real fan, I’m aware all of her stuff is deeply flawed and always was, and she’s mostly made some pretty subpar music since then.

None of this matters one bit because this song about a “disenchanted generation” is a f█cking amazing accidental Millenial anthem and it's still relevant to this day (”everything is chaos around me / all my ideals are just damaged words / I’m looking for a soul who’d be able to help me / I’m from a disenchanted generation / disenchanted”).

Did I like it back when I was making my lists on paper, though?

Um.

Yeah.

A fair bit.

And it’s accompanied by a ten-minutes-long music video depicting a rebellion against some generic unnamed fascist regime in some sort of prison or camp, and ending with the victorious rebels facing an endless plain and wondering where to go next and where to start again. The music video itself is, again, very flawed but still impressive and I really like the general idea of “rebellion is difficult, and messy, and scary, and sometimes it has to happen regardless of all of that”.

If you’ve never seen this music video before (the actual song starts around 1:30), well, it’s Mylène Farmer right in the middle of her Ultimate Goth Phase(tm) (for crying out loud there’s a crow on the album cover) so, uh, here’s various trigger warnings for fire, people getting hit in various ways, firearms, stones and glass bottles being thrown, blood, rats, and also, someone eating a bug. Enjoy, or not.

Also, this is what convinced me to cut my hair super short as soon as I was able to do so (2003 - my mother was not pleased) AND to wear a black cap on my head. I still have that cap. I still wear it. That’s just a footnote but yeah. Thanks, Désenchantée. I owe you one.

Next up: the list where I definitely lose the respect of everyone reading these lists hoping for actual quality.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #flashing lights #eye contact tw

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theyearoftheking · 4 years

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Book 5: The Stand

Bloggers note: if you’re looking for a complete plot summary and a list of all the characters in this epic tome, this is not the blog post for you. Proceed with caution.

Once upon a time, there was a precocious ten year-old, with divorced parents. One parent embraced her weirdness and didn’t pay attention to what books she was bringing home from the library; and the other parent was my dad... who constantly wondered (aloud) why I wasn’t like normal kids.

Being of slightly above-average intelligence, I saw this as an affront, and did subtle things just to piss him off. Subtle things “normal” children probs wouldn’t do. The summer I was ten, my dad had picked up a paperback copy of The Stand, and was raving to me about how good it was. I remember he was fixated on people falling dead in their bowls of Chunky soup.

“Sounds like a cool book, maybe I’ll read it,” I commented.

“This isn’t a book for children. You still haven’t read that copy of The Hobbit I gave you.”

Hold my beer, motherfucker. I’m here for it. And The Hobbit was boring af. I never got past all the singing.

Just to piss him off, I read the book cover to cover, faster than he did. You know, like normal vindictive ten year-old girls do. I don’t have a lot of memories of my dad growing up, but I hold onto this one fast and tight, because I got mine in the end. I was like the Trashcan Man of the fifth grade set. Just with a worse haircut. See below.

Needless to say, my comprehension of The Stand almost thirty years later is a little bigger, wider, and deeper. It’s also colored by other epic “Good vs. Evil” reads (sigh, yes... even Tolkien); and King’s other works (mostly The Dark Tower). While at times this was not an easy book to read, I’m glad I powered through it. Ultimately, I feel rewarded I didn’t give up on page 872 like I had initially wanted to. I’m also glad I didn’t go with my gut instinct of reading the original released in in 1978, and then later on the uncut edition that was released in 1990. One reading of The Stand per year is more than enough, thank you. And besides, there’s fun pictures along the way! I mean, if I’m being honest, the book is mostly pictures with just a few words here and there to break it up. I’m absolutely kidding.

Let’s get into it, shall we?

First of all, I picked the worst fucking time to read this book. Coronavirus is probably going to kill the whole world, and I refuse to be one of the survivors like in The Stand. There’s not enough bourbon in Kentucky for me to survive that shit show. Additionally, my family is huge into board games, and we thought Pandemic might be a fun cooperative game to try. Spoiler: it’s awesome, we’re all hooked on it. I highly recommend it for your next game night. Maybe an End of the World/Pandemic theme?? You can all wear gloves and masks, eat shelf stable foods and bottled water, and play REM on repeat. Sounds... awesome.

But I digress. The Stand is your ultimate post-apocalyptic good versus evil showdown. A government employee with Captain Trips (the world ending virus) goes AWOL from his base, and takes a frantic road trip across the country with his family, where he manages to contaminate everyone he comes in contact with.

What is Captain Trips? Well, I’m so glad you asked! To hear a doctor explain it, “We’ve got a disease with several well-defined stages... but some people may skip a stage. Some people may backtrack a stage. Some people may do both. Some people stay in one stage for a relatively long time and others zoom though all four as if they were on a rocket-sled...”

The virus spreads (like viruses do), until there’s less than 15,000 people left in the country (rough estimate). The people still alive start having two types of dreams; either scary nightmares about The Walking Man, or peaceful dreams about Mother Abigail. Again... good versus evil. Guess who is who. If you need clarification, let me give you this one little quote about Randall Flagg, courtesy of Mother Abigail, “He’s the purest evil left in the world. The rest of the bad is a little evil. Shoplifters and sexfiends and people who like to use their fists. But he’ll call them. He’s started already. He’s getting them together a lot faster than we are. Before he’s ready to make his move, I guess he’ll have a lot more. Not just the evil ones that are like him, but the weak ones... the lonely ones... and the ones that have left God out of their hearts.”

And his followers?

“They were nice enough people and all, but there wasn’t much love in them. Because they were too busy being afraid. Love didn’t grow very well in a place where there was only fear, just as plants didn’t grow very well in a place where it was always dark.”

Yeah. I’m just going to leave that there for you to read and digest.

So, the remaining people from all over the country either ended up in Vegas with Flagg, or Boulder with Mother Abigail and The Free Zone; which is basically Bernie Sander’s Utopian dream.

God damn it! I swore I wasn’t going to get political and compare Donald Trump to Randall Fla-

Ok, so The Free Zone. Most of the people who come to Boulder, want to meet Mother Abigail Freemantle, the one hundred and eight year old black woman they’ve been dreaming about. She’s got a self-described case of the shine, and speaks stupid relevant truth to her followers, “I have harbored hate of the Lord in my heart. Every man or woman who loves Him, they hate Him too, because He’s a hard God, a jealous God, He Is, what He Is, and in this world He’s apt to repay service with pain while those who do evil ride over the roads in Cadillac cars. Even the joy of serving Him is a bitter joy. I do His will, but the human part o me has cursed Him in my heart.”

I’m not religious, but that hit hard. And it shows you the clear difference between Randall Flagg, and Mother Abigail.

Later on, Mother Abigail also hits us over the head, and explains to us why this book is titled, The Stand: “But he is in Las Vegas, and you must go there, and it is there that you will make your stand. You will go, and you will not falter, because you have the Everlasting Arm of the Lord God of Hosts to lean on. Yes. With God’s help you will stand.”

Spoiler: it doesn’t quite go according to her plan. Very few are left standing at the end.

So, The Free Zone. People come together, dispose of dead bodies, get electricity turned back on again, clear the roads of abandoned cars, and form a de-facto government. While lots of characters come and go (die. They die.) throughout the book, there are a few mainstays in The Free Zone: Franny, Harold, Stu, Larry, Nick, Tom, Nadine, and Lucy. But again... good versus evil. While most of the residents of The Free Zone are good, Flagg is able to whisper in the ears of some members, mostly Harold and Nadine, who end up defecting and making the trip to Vegas.

While socialist utopia is succeeding in Boulder, Flagg is ruling with fear of crucifixion in Vegas. His henchmen include Lloyd, and The Trashcan Man. Oh, Trashy... maybe one of King’s most iconic characters. He’s a bit of a firebug (understatement of the century), and really goes out in a blaze of glory (ha. Pun intended).

In fact, the two heroes of this book are Trashcan Man, thanks to his epic nuclear disaster; and simple-minded Tom Cullen, who is able to infiltrate Flagg’s inner circle, and successfully make it out, rescuing Stu Redman, who is dying in the desert with a broken leg and a horrible infection along the way. Tom Cullen is the character you root for. But Trashy is the character you’re always curious about. He’s like that rebel guy you dated in high school for ten minutes, and now stalk on Facebook, because you want to see what shady shit he’s up to twenty years later.

This is the biggest oversimplification I think I’ve ever written. The onus is on you to just pick up the damn book and read it yourself. Do it soon, because you might not have a lot of time left, what with Coronavirus breathing it’s death fumes down our necks.

For those still keeping track, we have TWO Wisconsin references in The Stand. The first was on page five, set in a gas station in East Texas, “...had covered himself with glory as a quarterback of the regional high school team, had gone on to Texas A&M with an athletic scholarship, and had played for ten years with the Green Bay Packers...”

I can’t help but feel Steve is a closeted Packers fan. He lives in Maine, so I know he’s contractually obligated to be a Patriots fan (gag), but come on... homeboy loves him some green and yellow.

The second reference comes from our friend Trashcan Man, while trying to find a walking route of possible destruction. “He had planned to get over to the west side of Gary, near the confusion of interchanges leading various roads towards Chicago or Milwaukee...”

Question... does Gary, Indiana still smell in a post-apocalyptic world? Asking for a friend.

We also start getting the Dark Tower references fast and heavy. I didn’t make note every time Steve referenced wolves, crows, or wheels; because we’d be up over a million references now. And Randall Flagg himself is straight out of The Tower. So that’s fun. And we have our first “ka” reference: “And it came to him with a dreamy, testicle-shriveling certainty that this was the dark man, his soul, his ka somehow projected into this rain-drenched, grinning crow that was looking at him...”

‘Tis ka, bitches.

Total Wisconsin Mentions: 8

Dark Tower References: 4

Book Grade: A-

Rebecca’s Definitive Ranking of Stephen King Books

The Shining

The Stand

‘Salem’s Lot

Carrie

Night Shift

Next up is The Dead Zone, which I must have watched a million times as a kid, because my mom was obsessed with it, but I’ve never actually read the book. So this should be fun! I mean... who doesn’t love reading a book and imagining Christopher Walken without his cowbell as the main character?

Long Days and Pleasant Nights, Rebecca

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mx-bright-sky · 5 years

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anyway have some fuckin uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Fire Emblem Three Houses Monica headcanons (not Kronya Monica, I mean Monica Monica)

So first just going off of what we know from what the game tells us,

We know that she was in the Black Eagle class a year before the game starts,

We know that before Kronya reveals her true form, Monica is listed as an Assassin class- perhaps that’s just because of the fact that it’s really Kronya, but for now let’s assume that Monica would have been an Assassin class

We know that everyone in the monastery assumed that she had run off, which implies that she’s the kind of person who could have, theoretically, run off (very few people suggested that Flayn ran away when she went missing, so for everyone to come to the idea that Monica ran away, it must have been in her character)

And lastly we know that people noted Monica’s change in behavior after being rescued by the Death Knight (not knowing that “Monica” was really Kronya), which suggests that Kronya’s cheery portrayal of Monica wasn’t accurate

That’s... kinda it, really, the rest is all completely left up to the imagination

SO, imagine I will

She’s one of the more stoic students. It’s very hard to get a read on what she’s thinking and she doesn’t smile much

a very Punk/Rebel type; you know, the kind that doesn’t respect authority, but at the same time that doesn’t mean she’s intentionally rude or goes out of her way to be mean, and she’s actually pretty nice when you get to know her

not... that... anyone really... did. get to know her. F

like Marianne in the sense that she’s more comfortable with animals than with other people. Follows cats around the monastery

Monica is one of the very few non-nobles to make it into the Black Eagles house (no one ever mentions any family showing concern about her, or anything about her family at all; even if she had a rocky relationship with them, if they were noble, it would have been worth noting on some level)

Building off of that, she’s an orphan. Her parents died fighting for some lord in a rebellion against the central church. While Monica doesn’t hold it personally against them, she’s not very religious, and during her time at the Officers Academy she’s fairly skeptical of Rhea and her motives

After her parents died (she was around 8) she lived on the street making a living for herself. She acquired a lot of self sufficient skills; hunting, sewing, cooking, and a bit of pick-pocketing (she may or may not have come up with the funds to go to the Officer’s Academy through this method but you know, she wouldn’t exactly go around telling people whether or not that’s true)

(She also can tell apart plants and whether or not they’re poisonous. If she was in the same year as Claude, no doubt they would bond over poison brewing techniques)

(Actually. She’d probably end up friends with Claude in general)

She’s at the Officer’s Academy to train to become a traveling mercenary; she’s always wanted to get out and see the world, but she’s never been interested in being a merchant or any thing like that. After struggling for so long to just survive, she wants to try and see what it’s like to live for real

She always leans towards practicality rather than aesthetic, but she’d be lying if she said she completely hated dressing up for certain occasions (only certain occasions, mind you)

Likes climbing up the sides of buildings to get to the specifically Hard To Get To Places. You know. For dramatic effect. As you do.

Her strengths are Sword, Bow, Reason, and Flying, and her weaknesses are Faith and Heavy Armor. A possible alternate class to Assassin would have been Falcon Knight

That being said she does have some (not much, but some) proficiency in Brawling

The Only Way You Are Getting Her To Choir Practice Is If You Drag Her There, She Has Zero Interest In THAT(TM)

As said, she can cook, so she doesn’t mind being on kitchen duty

She’s not really one to complain about food, she’ll eat whatever there is, but she does have a bit of a sweet tooth

She was never very good at fishing and gave up on it rather quickly so that she could focus on other skills

And, well, as for her disappearance...

there are two(2) possibilities, neither really good for her

1 (probably more likely): Those villains (you know, Solon, Kronya, yadda yadda yadda) were there already, in the middle of the scheming for their plans. Monica accidentally overheard some of the details. They had to get rid of her to keep the knowledge a secret.

2 (slightly more spicy and zesty): Monica was never a fan of the church and had her suspicions about Rhea. I believe Jeralt said once that anything that disagrees with the church has a tendency to mysteriously disappear. I know that’s not exactly what he said but it was something approximate. For whatever reason, Monica angered Rhea (maybe Rhea ordered her to do something and she refused) and so Rhea had her secretly “dealt with”. When she told everyone at the monastery that Monica had simply run away, everyone believed her. Why wouldn’t they? After all, what reason would Rhea have to lie to them? And then of course when Monica first reappeared Rhea would have been immediately suspicious, but her inaction can be explained as realizing that this was not truly Monica, and waiting to see what would happen (maybe it would give them some kind of clue about the enemy).

I don’t think she would have left the monastery by choice (running away like people assumed) because, following this list of headcanons, even if she didn’t like the church, she would have been so close to graduating that she would have rather sucked it up and got through to the end.

also now i’m emo thinking about Monica even though none of these headcanons are really real hahahahahahahahahhaahahha aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

success???

#my posts #sky plays fe th #fire emblem three houses #tbh i dunno why i made these really #that's a lie i do know #it's because i'm gay and monica's design was pretty #and the game never expanded on her so FUCK IT it's my job now

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aiph-daicerandomstuff · 5 years

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Da-iCE ARTICLE: [TOWN WORK Magazine] Interview with Ohno Yudai (Da-iCE) - “When I was in my part-time job, being independent at work led me to my growth” (6/20/19) | CGM

With implied and literal translation. PM me for mistakes/errors. Please put proper credits if you use.

Interview with Ohno Yudai (Da-iCE) - “When I was in my part-time job, being independent at work led me to my growth”

Ohno Yudai of the dance and vocal group, Da-iCE, who released their first best album for the 6th anniversary of their major debut. An interview about his moments in the painting industry which he worked in continuously over the past 10 years! Furthermore, we asked about his turning point as a vocalist which he felt again through the best album.

Because the songs speak “my person”, I wanted to put the spice of my life into it

--- The first best album “Da-iCE BEST” has been released.

On June 6, on the 6th anniversary of our debut, we made a best album for our “6”, releasing the 16 singles we recorded in the past! First, “Da-iCE” is a group name which means a die with 6 sides, representing the 5 members and our fans. This deeply moves me.

--- The group name was Yudai-san’s suggestion, right?

Yes. I wasn’t really thinking that deep when I first proposed it. But now, I strongly feel the necessity of the 6-sides concept. That, and personally, I like the name “ダイス” [DAISU]. I was fascinated with group names containing dakuten [diacritics; accent marks used on kana]. ‘Coz if it is “タイス” [TAISU], I guess we will not last long (laughs).

--- Indeed, group name is important (laughs). So, how was it when you tried to line up and listen to your successive songs once again?

The same with photo albums, I think music as well can take back memories. I remembered a lot of things, like “this was when such things happened” and “this was when we were doing trial-and-error using this kind of music”.

With this, as a vocal, I was reminded about the way I sing from time to time back then. In the early days of my voice lessons, I was trying to force myself to do something different, and I was trying to make my voice louder than necessary, but then, little by little, I have come to realize and understand my true voice.

--- Was there a special happening where you have come to know your own voice?

In the best album “Another BEST”, consists of songs we have recorded which were selected by the members and through fan voting, I noticed a lot in the recording of “Kirenai mama no KOOTO” I’ve chosen.

When I recorded this song, my throat was in a bad condition… I got a vocal cord nodule [singer's nodes, resulting from repetitive overuse or misuse of the voice] back then. I was in a condition wherein I couldn’t extend my voice for long and couldn’t do even a falsetto. I thought about what I could do still even under such condition. I was conscious even more to put my feelings into the song. That reminded me of how important it is to sing and get into the song. It was a major change for me as a vocalist. Singing in that way, I realized that my voice was husky.

Now, I consider my husky voice as my weapon, and I think it would be nice to further refine it and express sharpness and sexiness.

--- Listening to the story, Yudai-san’s enthusiasm for that song is very much felt.

Thank you very much. The song is about the emotions, kindness, and pain that a person has felt, and I think, it all applies to “me as a person” as well. So, I thought it would be nice if I could add up some spice of my life into it, to be able to get close to those who listen to me from then. I thought it would be nice if I could sing a song that will become one of my cherished memories.

10 years of experience in the painting industry – the world of craftsmen is based on “watch and learn”

--- So, please tell me about your part-time job experiences.

I worked part-time in a sushi restaurant for only one year, but in the painting industry, which I started alongside the restaurant part-time job, continued a little even after we made our major debut, and so in total, I worked there for over 10 years despite it being a part-time job.

--- Why did you start working as a part-timer in a sushi restaurant at first?

I like sushi (laughs). Also, it was big time then. My seniors and my neighbors were working in restaurants as well. Because I cannot do nigiri [hand-formed sushi] yet, I was assigned doing basics such as dishwashing and cash register duties. Sometimes, I was also making miso soup and gunkan [warship sushi roll].

--- Was Da-iCE already formed when you started your part-time job?

At first, I was forming another acapella group. At that time, I couldn’t afford eating just by singing alone, and so I used to do part-time works every day except practice time and days I was attending lessons.

--- So, when did you decide on starting in the painting industry while working in the sushi restaurant?

When I was in the park with my friends, they keep talking about being a worker [craftsman] (laughs). Some of my friends were interested working in the painting industry, and so I tried as well, but it appeared difficult after all. However, I felt a great sense of fulfillment afterwards. I was like, “Oh, I did it!” (laughs).

What I learned in my part-time jobs was the importance of thinking about what I should do in a given situation

--- What were the works you did in the painting industry?

At first, I couldn’t do anything yet and so I was assigned mainly on delivery. For example, with 10kg to 25kg of paint buckets, I would hold 4 buckets with my both hands, and I would run up and down the stairs a dozen times. Over time, I started painting already. However, the world of craftsmen is more about learning the profession by seeing the works of your seniors rather than being taught directly by them.

And so, if they say, “Do this!” they would get angry if I don’t respond right away. I always watch them and remember what they’re doing. So even if it was my first time, I would positively say “I’ll do it!”, thinking that I would get used to it as I work on it.

--- It’s not good to wait for instructions.

I thought so as well. While having vacant time standing, I had to search for what I could do and come up with something to do in the field. I think that’s the same thing for any job, and I think that was taking social studies for real.

--- Have you ever rebelled?

That never happened. Now, I think it is indeed necessary to be scolded. For example, if they would gently and calmly tell me to “Don’t just stand there…”, I think I would reply something like “Yes, so what should I do then?” and that would be rude (laughs). I was afraid they would get angry at me. It was thanks to that I have gained the ability to think alone, myself. I think to ‘be liked’ and ‘be scolded’ are both things to be thankful for.

--- What were the things which made you happy?

I can do well with my hands. I was confident I wouldn’t disappoint anybody when it comes to painting windowsills (laughs). I also like to build scaffoldings. I’d been curious about it ever since. And so, I enjoyed whatever I was doing then. Oh, but I remember that one time I struggled! When I was dealing with the paper hanging on the ceiling, I was frustrated. All the powder kept on falling on my face (laughs).

Panic from the paint that splattered. A funny story from a mistake at one time!?

--- You’re such a positive student, Yudai-san. Have you ever made a mistake?

I’ve made a lot. For example, when I was painting on a roof, without considering the proper order of painting, somehow, painting from the outside, in order to go around, I was like “damn, I can’t get outta here” (laughs). It takes 8 hours for paints to dry completely. For me to get off the roof, I had to repaint my footprints (wry smile).

--- The entire outlook is important.

I agree. After that, I slipped, carrying the paint. I slid down and fell. Then, I just saw the large decorative rock in the front gate covered in paint… I was so nervous because it was an expensive one that was being maintained carefully. After sincerely apologizing for that, I steadily applied treatment to the paint stains. Aside from that, when I fell, my brush flew and stained the wall of the neighboring house. It seems like a comic skit, but it really happened! (laughs)

--- It’s a funny story, but considering what you felt on that time…

I was already in panic, thinking on what I should do then. I apologized again and took care of the house next door. I fixed the problem, and cleaned the exteriors of the units together, and so. Plus, it was not a big site where I could build a scaffolding. Since it was something I did alone, I had no choice but to take full responsibility. Of course, as always, I reported what happened after my shift.

The words said by the president from work who supported his plans for a singing career

--- So, have your experiences in your part-time jobs left an impression to you?

When I was beginning to focus on my singing career, because I didn’t want to be such a burden, I asked the president at work, “Because I can’t go to the site at all times, please just lower my daily wage, and let me work still.” But then, he said to me, “You can come whenever you can. I won’t lower your daily wage. Just do your best (on singing).” I was happy that he was supporting my dream, and I am still grateful for that until now.

Aside from work, one time, I happened to meet the president in a barbeque restaurant on my day-off. When he stood up and took the leave first, he paid the bill for both of us. From that, I learned how to be a cool adult.

--- So, can you give some advice to anyone starting a part-time job?

The profession of craftsmen is difficult, but I think, the lack of reassurance in the job will lead you to your growth. For sure, such things will somehow lead you to your future. So, just try, and actively work on the various things you want to do!

From: https://townwork.net/magazine/job/workstyle/81078/?vos=dtwnsnss1614717

#daice #da ice #da-ice #article #translation #town work magazine #yudai #ohno yudai #da-ice best #interview

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books-on-books-on-books-on-books · 5 years

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An Ember In The Ashes By Sabaa Tahir

Synopsis- LAIA IS A SLAVE. ELIAS IS A SOLDIER. NEITHER IS FREE. Under the Martial Empire, defiance is met with death. Those who do not vow their blood and bodies to the Emperor risk the execution of their loved ones and the destruction of all they hold dear. It is in this brutal world, inspired by ancient Rome, that Laia lives with her grandparents and older brother. The family ekes out an existence in the Empire’s impoverished backstreets. They do not challenge the Empire. They’ve seen what happens to those who do. But when Laia’s brother is arrested for treason, Laia is forced to make a decision. In exchange for help from rebels who promise to rescue her brother, she will risk her life to spy for them from within the Empire’s greatest military academy. There, Laia meets Elias, the school’s finest soldier—and secretly, its most unwilling. Elias wants only to be free of the tyranny he’s being trained to enforce. He and Laia will soon realize that their destinies are intertwined—and that their choices will change the fate of the Empire itself.

THIS INCLUDES SPOILERS

My review: Okay, where to start...so I was recommended this book by an aunt of mine and it was on my shelf for probably a year or so before I picked it up and I was most pleasantly surprised. First of all, the writing was FANTASTIC. You don’t find a lot of YA books with this quality of writing very often. Tahir really blew me away with the intense description throughout the book. I’m also not usually a fan of the whole doubled narrator thing but I think it was essential in this particular book. Using this really helped me to understand the characters better, especially Elias. I would’ve assumed he was just another mask and should not be trusted. But instead I was able to feel his frustration when Laia felt that way. Second, am I the only one that was just totally freaked out by the mask thing. Like these pieces of metal are just mended to your face for life. Even to the point of possibly taking your skin off if you tried to remove it. Oh, propaganda? Is that you? Honestly just the entire Blackcliff Academy training and teaching method is appalling but I guess that’s what the author intended. But like, dropping them in the middle of the desert to survive with no help at like 8 years old? That’s a little extreme. They’re raised to be killers from the moment they turn 6 and that’s awful. Something I would like from the author in the next book is to see more of the history of the scholars and the empire and whatever else. I know we were offered a little bit of this but I would like to go a little more in depth in the second book because it is a tiny bit confusing. Okay now let’s talk about the characters. Now I love every single one of these characters(except for you Mazen, and you Marcus, oh I didn’t forget about you Commandant) but they are REALLY FRICKIN STUPID SOMETIMES. Laia- Ok, girl needs to get her stuff figured out. I mean throughout the book she has only one goal in mind. Save Darin. But then she has all that stuff going on with Keenan and Elias. And then she’s trying to decide whether to trust the resistance or trust Spiro Teluman. And it’s all very confusing. What I do really like is that Laia is not a leader or very outspoken from the begging and that she kind of has to train herself to be brave and use her fear as fuel. I think that makes her character so much more realistic and relatable. However, I don’t like the reason she has for wanting to save Darin. She always says that he’s all she has left which is absolute bull. She has Izzy, and Elias, and Keenan, etc. But I think she should want to save him for him not for herself. But otherwise I really like Laia as a character. Also we see towards the end that she might have some weird power. What?! Side note: I would love to know more about some people having special powers like Helene.

Elias- He is my favorite character. I just love how throughout the entire book he talks about how he is such a horrible person for everything he's done but in reality only good people would care about what they did wrong. I think he puts the blame for everything on himself just because of how he was separately raised(meaning how he was raised by a tribe in his earlier years and he's grandfather in his later years). He's also the only person in the school that doesn't treat the slaves like crap; especially Laia. One thing I don’t really like is that his attraction for Laia was really inconsistent. Like, at some points it talks about how he thinks about Laia all the time but then other chapters he just really doesn't care. I just kind of get the feeling that he's helping her so he can feel better about himself. Regardless, I still love them. Now his friendship with Helene is really complicated. For example, there were multiple instances where he wanted to kiss her but didn't. I almost wish he had just so we could kind of get a glimpse at what that could be like.

Helene- Ah Helene. I know some people are going to attack me but I honestly am not a huge fan of Helene. Like she's fine but I just really hate her blind devotion to the Empire and Blackcliff. Like how can you not see that their philosophy is incredibly corrupt. That being said, I do like how loyal she is to Elias and their friendship. For example, when Laia was basically on the verge of death and Helene was all jealous like “she's just a slave blah blah blah why do you even care” I was seriously going to punch her(even though she is a fictional character lol) but then Elias hit her with that “you're a horrible person blah blah” and she went to save Laia. I mean I do wish she was a good enough person to do it on her own but still. And i've got to cut her some slack because she's going through a lot of crap with the trials, and the augurs, and Marcus. Also can we please talk about how she made a deal with the augurs to keep Elias safe. Aww how cuteeee!!!

Keenan: So sorry for all you Kennia/Kiai(I have no clue what their ship name is) shippers but i'm definitely on team Elias. Now don't get me wrong, i like Keenan i just don't like him with Laia. Again, I think his attraction for Laia is more for himself because he's only interested in her because they both lost their family. Also i'm kind of concerned because he says he usually agrees with Mazen and Mazen is like basically evil so what are Keenans beliefs? However, I do like the parts where we kind of get to see his vulnerable side but its only around Laia. We can kind of get a glimpse of who he is outside of the resistance. I'm also really curious to see how he’ll react to Izzi. Will he be mad? Will he still help her? Possible romance? Only time will tell.

Izzi: I'm going to keep this really brief but I absolutely love Izzi. I think Laia coming to the academy really changed Izzi’s life. It helped her become an actual person and escape as well. Laia really loosened her up and taught her how to live. That scene at the moon festival is sooo cute. I really hope we see more of her in book 2.

Now let's get to my main points:

-First and foremost, what the heck even happened in trial 3. I was honestly expecting it to all be some simulation and all of those characters were still alive and well but apparently NOT! And then Elias was about to kill Helene but then the augurs were like jk she has body armor on. (Side note: They said because she was wearing her body armor thing she was disqualified but then she still competed in trial 4? I am confusion.)

-Oh and Elias’s creepy field of dead people. Is he going to kill Laia? I mean he actually did end up killing the other people so who’s to say he wont kill Helene and Laia.

-So I was thinking maybe there is some kind of correlation with the augurs and the magic stuff. Because Helene was healed by agurs all of a sudden she has powers. Laia was saved by an augur and now she has powers? I don't know. Just a theory.

-Um Marcus as emperor… NO FREAKING THANKS. And are we just gonna leave Helene with him. He's a super creepy pervert and were just gonna leave HER with HIM.

-What the heck is going on with Cook. All I know is that she likes Laias father but not her mother. And i'm thinking she might be the traitor who ratted out Laias parent because she was talking about how you never know what you would say during torture until you've been there. Or maybe she had some kind of affair with Laias father and that's why her parents were fighting so much? Who knows?

-The moon festival part was definitely one of my favorite parts. Because we get to see both of our main characters when they're in a environment where they have the ability to be loose and carefree without having to look over their shoulder 24/7. And we get that really sweet scene with Laia and Izzi eating the foods. And the part where Laia and Elias dance together and he whispers in her ear and it's just so adorable eee!!!

-Ohh and the part where they come back from the moon festival and Elias has to pretend like he's drunk. SO GOOD. that was priceless and I loved it. I was doubled over laughing, seriously.

-I’m super curious to know why the augurs are helping Laia and Elias. If you think about it the only reason they got away with it was because of them. If that one augur hadn’t talked to Elias he would have escaped. Then he wouldn’t have been there to meet Laia. So Laia probably would have died and so on and so forth.

-I love at the end where Elias is all chained up and he's supposed to be executed, he's found peace. He's proud of himself because at least he didn't kill her. At least he still has a soul. And then Marcus comes in and Elias almost kills him. He's like I don't actually want to kill him i just want him to know that i could so sit down ya little cocky ass. SO GOOD.

-Ahhh the ending omg. I love how they they had Cook with her explosions and then Helene was there like “This is the last time i'm covering for you Veturius.” And then he asks Helene to come with him and Laia’s like umm I don't remember agreeing to this.

-I’m kinda pissed none of the antagonists died but so many good characters did. Why would you do this to me, Sabaa? Whyyyy?!

Anyhow, that's pretty much it. Let me know what you guys thought of the book. :)

#books #book #bookworm #booklover #an ember in the ashes #a torch against the night #a reaper at the gates #sabaa tahir #book review #book recommendations #10/10 #elias veturius #laia #laia and elias #ya book review #ya books

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violetsforkino · 5 years

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v live ☾ 181208 ( translated by huiiiiing )

you can watch his broadcast here

kino said recently he wrote a song that hui recorded a guide for... and he said the song is for universe. he thought of universe while writing it. something like, “we were really happy then right? just like that time, shall we dance again?”

he said he’s been writing 3 songs with hui recently. 1 is completed, 1 is still in the making, and the last one is put on hold because it’s a bit hard.

what kino did today:

dance > arranging > composing > ate > did cue sheet for japan concert with hui > went back to dorm > back for vlive

( translated by withyeo )

kino said that his most favorite genre to listen to is r&b. other than that he also listens to hip hop a lot. he said that since 2 years ago (?) he's also been listening to jazz a lot, and since a few months ago he listens to rock a lot too.

kino talked about jinho posting a cover of 'shallow' a bit, and then talked about a star is born. he said that the movie is really good. he also mentioned bohemian rhapsody. he likes both movies.

kino said that he likes songs with good lyrics so he recommended the carpenters 'close to you' because he likes the lyrics of the song

kino said that he really likes christmas. he said that it's a dream-like day. he said that christmas is one of the days that he looks forward to the most. he's also been listening to carols a lot these days.

kino's recommended movies: midnight in paris, rebel in the rye, bohemian rhapsody, a star is born , you don't mess with the zohan, yves saint laurent, my tomorrow your yesterday, momento, inception

kino talked about happiness. he said that he's on the road of finding happiness and how to become even happier. he said it's not that he's unhappy now, but he wants to become happier in the future.

kino: i hope you have a day filled with joy. the same goes for universe, but these days i've been searching for real happiness. of course, i'm living a happy life that i'm thankful for, but these days i've been thinking a lot about happiness, and i'm working hard to become happier. certainly, i'm really happy now but because i want to be happier. i think about what is happiness for real. during this month, i've finished up to 4 songs, and 3 of them are about happiness. earlier, the song that hui hyung did the guide, that song was written for universe. i'm working hard to become happier, so there's this thing that makes me happier. for me it's fine if i'm not happy all the time. of course, there are times when you're having a hard time and sick and tired, but you get more happiness by overcoming it. these days, happiness is good.

these clothes [i'm wearing] were gifted to me by shinwon hyung. he sometimes gives clothes to me as a present. they're clothes that'd suit me more than him or ones that i'd like. he gave me a lot. i've worn his clothes a lot since long time ago. jackets. he also gave me pants.

the weather is cold. 'the weather is really cold right?' i miss you so much. 'be careful of the cold everyone. i miss you too.' it's going so fast. 'hing, you're so pretty. you don't know how beautiful you are, right? you're so lovely, i'm dying.' you can't die.

( translated by letsgohui )

songs recommended by kino #1: needs (ft. mac ayres) - zach berro #2: midnight blues - oenn #3: magic by. sekai no owari #4: shallow (a star is born) by. lady gaga, bradley cooper #5: cosmic, album by. bazzi #6: close to you by. carpenters #7: meri kuri by. boa #8: dead! by. my chemical romance #9: sincerity is scary by. the 1975 #10: mine by. the 1975 #11: it's not living by. the 1975 #12: give yourself a try by. the 1975 #13: tootimetootimetootime by. the 1975 #14. runaway by. kanye west #15. all of queen's songs #16: 옛날거 (used) by. 기리보이 (giriboy) #17. sicko mode ft. drake by. travis scott #18. come thru by. joji #19: attention by. joji #20: paranoid by. lauv

movies recommended by kino #1: yves saint laurent #2: bohemian rhapsody #3: a star is born #4: you don't mess with the zohan #5: my tomorrow, your yesterday #6: memento #7: inception #8: rebel in the rye #9: midnight in paris

kino: shinwon hyung gifts me clothes from time to time... hyung bought it but... clothes that suit me better than hyung or... or... that kind of clothes... or clothes that i would like, he really gives me a lot of those. other than this, he also gave me another expensive shirt with printing... i think i used to wear a lot of hyung's clothes last time. like jacket... he also gave me pants. it was gray pants... but anyway...

kino read a comment "i love you." yes, me too... i haven't said, "i love you" in a long time. i'm always loving universe.

kino: to me... last time, when i'm asked what's my number 1 treasure, i would be like, "ah! they're all precious to me." but ever since i started composing, i think my recording equipment have become [my] number 1 treasure. together with my hard disk. for a few years, really... even though i did dance and singing for a few years, my body's an instrument. but these... i can live if all these disappear. i don't know what i'm saying but anyway... yes, so this is my work studio which has become my number 1 treasure.

kino: being a singer that's good at performing is actually my dream. it's still a dream for me. and so, now, i/we worry/think a lot about our performances. what would make [the audience] want to come back the next round? even though i don't have much experience, but in the 2 years that i've performed in front of everyone, the things that i've felt, as well as the times when universe reacted well [to something]... we can feel it with our bodies. we remember those times and for the next cue sheet that we'll work on we'll think about it a little more. but then, for this round's cue sheet... i don't think we've worried too much about it. [because] before that, obviously, if we focused more on the quality of the performances, then the performances this round would, of course, different/unique performances, really... for those who have come the last round, [for them to think], "oh? i came the last round but it's so different this round. it was so fun" or... the next... no, even for the people who are seeing our performances for the first time, "wow, pentagon's performances are really interesting", in order to make fun performances so that it would be interesting enough for people to share it with their friends, not just this round's but also for future performances... we have been paying much attention to these areas. they are really important things but i've been missing this out. so when we were reviewing the cue sheet again, we... the choreography, things that we need to prepare, and the things that we have to prepare again for the future, and the new things that we need to make... and, for example, either a remix or there's also areas where we rearranged the song... yes.

kino: kino shared how he ended up eating alone. hui said he's already eaten. kino also called jinho but jinho said he ate a late lunch after waking up late. wooseok ate with shinwon. after making rounds of calls, he thought that he should just eat alone so he ordered curry.

kino said he's been listening to a variety of songs recently. he said even though he isn't sure and isn't able to objectively judge how much his songs are able to connect with people, while working on good music, he still wants to let people hear lots (a variety) from him. he said although he may not be able to pull off that many music [styles] at this moment, if he does [music] consistently, someday he thinks he would be able to let us hear variety of music. so he's been thinking about such stuff lately... just the day before yesterday, #kino thought to himself... next time, when he gets a chance to perform, he wishes to do a big scale one - in a concert format that's never been done before. the title of it is, "sense of reality." kino said he likes to [imagine] about these things; for example, he wants to bring ideas onto the set, like from a fairytale chapter and with music of that vibe... and to also share stories about reality vs. ideal. and the chapter after... about the future, and the last performance, he would like to do something related to art.

kino: i've listened to r&b for almost my whole life. hip-hop and r&b are [genres] that cannot be separated. i think i've listened to hip-hop and r&b for all my life. and recently... since about 2 years ago i liked jazz. jazz... i listen a lot to jazz. recently... recently, about 6 or 8 months? around the time when 'aquatic talks' was out, i thought a lot about reggae. i'm also listening to a lot to rock. there are many genres to rock as well.so, i listen to rock too. i also listen to bossa. hmmm. i also listen to disney music. edm... honestly... i think it's still not very close to me. but someday... even though there are many good edm music, it's still a little difficult for me to [embrace] it.

kino said he used to play starcraft a lot with his dad. kino and hui were both saying that their fathers were really good at the game. kino said he really liked starcraft when he was in elementary school.

kino: to be honest, other than the ones that i find myself or receive recommendations from people around me, fans do recommend a lot in reality. [fans] recommend a lot of books, and if they [share about] what movie they've watched and what was interesting, i capture everything and later on when i have to select a movie, book or song... i have a folder that consolidates everything that our fans recommend. i go through it like this and would be like, "oh! i should read this book today.", "oh! i should watch this movie today.", "i should listen to this music today." i receive lots of recommendations [from fans], thankfully, so i think my range's expanded and i think it's fun and nice to share [such stuff].

#pentagon #kino #translation #181208 #v app #important #happiness #family

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