#BUT RICH NOT BEING ENOUGH FOR JAKE EVEN WHEN HE’S SQUIPPED? | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

theabyssgazesalsointoyou · 6 months

Note

could you maybe do some hurt/comfort for richjake please? when/if you have time of course x

I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK LITERALLY FOREVER 😭😭

When Jake gets home, Rich is sitting with his legs criss-crossed on the couch, staring at the TV that isn’t on.

It’s a rainy day. The soft pitter-patter of raindrops against the windowpane just barely manages to squeeze its way into the heavy silence Rich has surrounded himself in. The atmosphere is all too familiar for Jake, and he quietly leaves his cane leaning against the door, taking in a steady breath.

It’s been almost a year since last November- since everything. Rich still has bad days. Time doesn’t heal all wounds. Jake knows that all too well. And even if it did, a year isn’t enough for how deep they cut into Rich.

Sometimes it’s the squip. Sometimes it’s his father. Sometimes it’s the fire. Others, it’s none of those, just the darkness in his mind that has resided there since god knows when, the darkness he was so desperate to escape- whether that escape be through giving up on life or a constant voice in his head.

Jake tried his best to make Rich see the light, see that the darkness didn’t define him. He drowned out whatever echoes of the squip might remain with countless I love yous and You’re beautifuls. He erased the invisible scars and bruises that lingered from his father’s violence with soft touches and kisses. He rebuilt their relationship from ashes and made sure not a single flame would ever hurt him again. But it isn’t enough, he thinks. Maybe it’ll never be enough. Jake will never be enough.

For now, though, Jake pushes those thoughts away to the back of his mind. There’s no room for doubt- not when Rich needs him. So he tries his best to hide his worry behind a smile (that Rich will see through anyway) and sits by Rich’s side, wrapping his arms around Rich’s shoulders.

Only then does Rich seem to snap out of his trance. He straightens up- not instinctively like when he had the squip, Jake notes, but like it takes immense effort.

Rich gives Jake a tired smile that doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “I got you flowers.”

“Huh?”

Sure enough, there’s a vase of pale roses sitting on the kitchen table. It’s not uncommon for Rich to get Jake flowers or similar romantic gifts out of nowhere- but he’s usually in a good mood when he does, his excitement and bashful affection matching the soft glow of tulips or peonies. The flowers on the table lack that warmth despite their color.

Jake murmurs a thank you anyway and pulls Rich onto his lap. Rich hums softly when Jake kisses his neck, their fingers entwining together, and Jake peers over Rich’s shoulder to meet his eyes in the reflection on the dark TV screen.

“What were you thinking about?” he asks, taking care to keep his tone as tender as possible without betraying his worry.

Rich drops Jake’s hand onto his lap and Jake’s heart plummets as well. He studies Rich’s body language and tries to guess- his lips are pressed together and head ducked but his breathing isn’t shallow, not a panic attack. He’s not rigid or distant either, leaning ever so slightly into Jake’s touch as he traces circles over his ribs with his fingertips. Jake silently thanks the heavens for that. Rich being overcome with guilt about the fire, about everything, is one of the worst-case scenarios.

The relief, however, only lasts a moment, because now Jake is truly struggling to see why his boyfriend is upset.

“C’mon, baby,” he urges with another kiss pressed to the back of his neck. “You know you can tell me anything.”

Silence. Rich doesn’t answer. He furrows his brow, lost in thought, and panic slowly starts to build up in every single cell in Jake’s body. Does Rich not trust him? Did something bad happen? The flowers, why the flowers all of a sudden- oh, fuck. He’s going to break up with Jake.

Rich must have sensed the agitation radiating off Jake’s body, because he gives Jake’s hand a reassuring squeeze, effectively cutting off his panicked train of thought. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.”

“Mhm,” Jake breathes out in relief. “So tell me, please, what’s wrong?”

“It’s not…” Rich begins, as if to wave it off, claim that it’s nothing and that he’s fine. But the words seem to clog his throat and he stares at his feet for a while before starting over in a quieter voice, blinking back tears: “It’s just- I don’t-”

Jake waits. He wraps his arms a little tighter around Rich and hopes it can do something to help.

Then, quietly, as if defeated: “I miss my mom.”

Fuck. No. No, no, no.

Hoping Rich won’t feel his own heart beating against his back, Jake sucks in a sharp breath and closes his eyes, lacing his fingers with Rich’s for lack of anything else to do. There’s nothing he can do. Because when Jake wakes up in the middle of the night crying because he misses his parents there’s nothing that can make it better. Rich can hold him and promise that he loves him, that he’s never going to leave- but it won’t bring them back.

And nothing Jake does will bring Rich’s mother back, either. He doesn’t even have flimsy promises to offer- like how Rich says he’ll help when Jake, any sort of logic escaping him in his sleep-disoriented and distressed state, insists he’s going to find his parents. Because no matter how hard you try you can’t bring someone back from the dead.

“You can- I’ll drive you,” Jake stumbles over his words without thinking. He’s frantically searching for anything he can do. Except- “No, wait. Shit.”

He can’t even do that. It’s raining and the roads are too slippery and his legs ache more than usual.

“You don’t need to-”

“I’ll call an uber,” he’s desperately grasping for straws now.

“Jake. Jake, you don’t need to.” Rich twists his torso just enough to grab Jake firmly by the shoulders. Looking into his gold-flecked eyes, Jake feels like he’s the one being comforted, and it’s with a flash of shame that he forces himself to calm down. “I already went. I, uh, I got her flowers, too.”

“Oh.” A wave of understanding washes over Jake and settles in his chest in an odd mixture of relief and defeat. His voice comes out small and unsure, almost confused. “What can I do, then? What- what do I do?”

“You don’t need to do anything,” Rich murmurs, pressing his face into Jake’s shoulder. “Just- you’re enough. You being here is enough.”

You’re enough.

“Okay,” Jake lets himself relax, and Rich’s body seems to melt into his own, the weight and shape enveloping him in an embrace that feels like home.

#orca answers #bmc #be more chill #richjake #rich goranski #jake dillinger #the abyss writes back to you

10 notes · View notes

aro-laurance-zvahl · 9 months

Note

Michael and Jake is such a big brained pairing wtf. TELL ME MORE do they play on the same team in capture the flag? what sorts of shenanigans do the boys get up to? has Jake ever used charm speak on Michael?

AJHDJAJSJS YEAH! It’s actually. So funny how they ended up being a ship for this. Basically this all started because I listened to The Lightning Thief Musical when I was deep into BMC fic writing, and so naturally I start thinking of a Half-Blood AU but I could only really settle on godly parents for Michael and Jake (as well as Chloe but hers is Zeus, obviously, and I didn’t want to mess with Big Three Kid shenanigans)

So basically I was just writing random drabbles set in no partially timeline, messing around as most of my writing is. And they. Just kept wanting to kiss! So I let them. Also fun fact I’m a big Expensive Headphones (Michael/Rich) shipper and I started shipping them for the Exact Same Reason. These boys just all want to kiss Michael who am I to stop them?

ANYWAY TO YOUR QUESTIONS!!

They absolutely do play capture the flag on the same team and it obviously started during that time where Jake was just scared and attached to Michael and Michael wanted nothing mlre than for Jake to just pretend he didn’t exist like he did at school but Chiron obviously sees Jake has imprinted on Michael like a lost duckling and keeps them together at all costs. It works out.

Some shenanigans include Jake swiping weed from some Demeter kids for Michael, them locking one of Michael’s sisters into the armory with her crush, Michael slipping notes written in Ancient Greek into Jake’s locker, Knife Throwing. I also have the very vivid idea of Jake pestering Michael into trying out for the archery team since there’s a spot open now, and Michael jsuy shrugging it off and saying no until Squipped Up Jeremy says something rude about it and oh no now Michael has to do it. And Jake is just happy because he gets to watch his boyfriend be the best fucking archer ever and show everyone how cool he is (truly hearts in his eyes)

And then the charmspeak on Michael, the answer is a Yes. At least once on accident when he was still new and not aware he even had it. But he does do it purposely when he notices Michael spiraling into a panic attack, tries to smother it out before it can start by charming him into breathing and calming down. Works well enough but probably feels real funky and depending on the source can be a temporary solution. Jake would learn to use it sparingly, the Halloween Party is a good example of when he would do it

Also I can’t believe I forgot to mention this but Michael and Dionysus are actually lowkey buds. Is this partially because of George Salazar being both of them? Yes. But it’s also because Dionysus loves Pac-Man and so does Michael! And Michael would 100% sneak around to find his personal Pac-Man machine to play at camp.

And one last fun fact, Michael’s contact name in Jake’s phone is “Apollo But Gayer” and Jake’s in Michael’s phone is “Aphrodillinger”

#be more chill #bmc #bmc michael #michael mell #bmc jake #jake dillinger #BMC PJO a #pins and patches #Also yes I know tech is dangerous for demigods and they shouldn’t use phones and such and such #But I just say things like texting and shit is fine #Because Hephaestus kids made a killer VPN #Phone calls and voice calls are still out though

13 notes · View notes

lohstandfound · 7 months

Text

Jake thinks he knows everything. Sure, maybe he's lost Chloe but he's sure he can keep everyone else under his finger.

He underestimates how loyal Brooke is to Chloe. She's far more loyal to Chloe than to him.

Even without a squip, Rich is still being controlled and he hates it. He never wanted to be this cruel but that's who he was required to be. Perhaps peace could be an option on someone else's side.

Jenna still remains on the outskirts of the group who were once their friends. She begins to pick up on the smallest differences when Chloe and Brooke are by themselves. Then all of a sudden the king and queen are not together. Not in the way where they had their usual fights that explode in the middle of the halls before one of them twists the other back into whatever fucked up relationship they had. And that sudden change? Well, that's enough to get interested in their lives once again.

#lohst.txt #this is basically Brooke Chloe Jenna and Rich trying to stop Jake #that may or may not end in murder #Jake wants to play a fucked up game where he's king?#Kingdoms come under siege sometimes #So he better watch out #Since Jake's losing his grip on chloe and Brooke (by extension)#Maybe he tries Jeremy and Christine next #(Michael's too much of a wildcard and he's dealt with wildcards before)#Jeremy's easy to get #It's not hard #And Jake's looking for a new queen. Perhaps Christine can take that role #Bringing them into a game they don't know they're playing #Jake needs to be methodical when getting Michael on his side #By the time he tries. Michael and Chloe have already struck up an uneasy alliance #Thanks to Brooke and Jenna #If I wrote this as an actual fic I'd probably call it regicide or something #Death to the king and all that #(whether that death is literal or not is a different question)#regicide au

7 notes · View notes

rad-rat-with-a-tophat · 1 year

Note

random writing prompt absolutely totally not based off of something terrible I just experienced: Jeremy and Christine stumble upon a song Rich wrote about someone in freshman year and they're trying to figure out who it's about. Who it's actually about is up to you (writing prompt for u bc u appear to like song lyrics)

finally starting to write this on a computer, also, don't look at your friends' stuff without their permission kids!

Christine and Jeremy were currently in their school's costume closet, organizing the costume's per request of Mr Reyes.

Jeremy was sorting through the accessory pile while Christine was looking through the racks of dusty jackets.

Even though Jeremy and Michael were a bit less codependent and had both found other friends in the 'squip squad' didn't mean Christine didn't get to hear Jeremy talk about him constantly.

"And I know that it wouldn't be that healthy if we, like, together or whatever because, ya know... we were kinda codependent but even though I know that, I still haven't gotten over my crush!" Jeremy was complaining as Christine was nodding sagely, having accepted her role as the go-to person for people to complain about crushes to.

As Jeremy continued his rambles Christine heard a note plunk from the the ancient piano that was backstage.

"Jeremy I love you dearly but shush," Christine said, standing up to see who was playing the piano as several more notes rang out.

Jeremy looked up towards Christine in confusion, right as they both heard a familiar voice sing,

"Apollo to my Icarus,

the feelings that I thought I'd miss,

they're all blocked out

they're all burned out

they're all pulling me way back down."

"Rich!" Christine gasped as she exited the costume to see their friend sitting at the piano bench and reading from a beat-up journal. Jeremy poked his head out from the giant closet, "Dude! That was literally so good!" He nearly shrieked.

Rich whipped his head towards them, eyes widening in surprise. "Oh, um, t-thank you!" He stuttered quickly standing up and closing the piano lid, forgetting his journal.

Jeremy and Christine turned to each other.

"So," Christine began.

"Rich can sing,"

"Really well," Jeremy nodded in agreement, they both turned to the still open journal in sync. "He left his journal here," Christine said.

"Yup,"

"And Rich is our friend,'' They continued, looking at Jeremy.

"He is,"

"So we shouldn't look at the journal to see the rest of the song," She finished. They looked at each other, the same thought running through their heads. Christine swiftly swiped the journal as if someone might pop up and yell at them for being bad friends.

"I'm drowning

I'm drowning and there's no sign of land

You're up above

I'm down below

Sinking like a ship,"

"The walls i built,

they kept me safe,

and yet i still broke out,"

"So, now i'm drowning, i'm drowning

and it's all because of you,

You're the sun above

so out of reach,

"The Apollo to my Icarus

the feelings that i thought i'd miss

they're all blacked out

they're all burned down

they're all pulling me to the ground."

The song was dated May 26th, 20XX, which meant during it was written when Rich was a freshman.

Christine and Jeremy shared a look.

"This is about Jake," Christine stated.

Jeremy nodded, "This means Rich had liked Jake while having the SQUIP,"

Christine eyes widened, "Oh, oh no,"

"Yeah,"

"That must've been horrible,"

"I had it for a couple of months and that was bad enough but two years! And while liking a boy..."

Christine shut the journal. "We're giving this back,"

"And tell him we appreciate and love him and buy him like a shit-ton of socks?" Jeremy asked closing and locking the costume door, even though they technically weren't finished.

"Absolutely," Christine agreed, marching out of backstage and to the nearby exit doors, Jeremy following close behind her.

#here ya go!#ending is chunky as per usual #i wrote this song at school #rich learned piano from his 7th grade choir teacher btw #bmc musical #richjake #be more chill #bmc #jeremy heere #christine canigula #rich goranski #my writing

14 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 2 years

Text

always fun to mull over parallels / juxtapositions of bmc teens & just writing it out as an [organizing thoughts] thing vs thesis statements here but as a starting point it’s fun how both christine & michael are people who are unpopular but both vibing because they’re focusing on their own particular interests and accepting the roles that they have by going this route, like the idea christine isn’t like specifically bullied like michael is but she knows she Could be & keeps her head down / stays in her established lane about existing out here & avoids that

also how both their Things of like, [theatre / play rehearsal / enjoying a role] and [being jeremy’s friend / all michael’s Retro Uncool Interests] are comforting things when like, even without christine being particularly bullied or anything she’s voicing things in ilpr she knows aren’t ideal for her / she’s unhappy about re: things Outside play rehearsal, but with michael especially we can kind of see how the comforting aspect of things / depending on the Reliability of this as getting them through the next couple of years (which he seems to feel it could easily do) could come at the cost of these aspects of life being stagnant like, for him obviously Being Jeremy’s Friend is important here, but in 2pg he’s not really able to be flexible about the situation when jeremy’s trying to express that the usual “just wait two years / well high school’s the same shit we’ve Been getting through” stuff isn’t convincing him he doesn’t need to try something new (because it Isn’t working for him, and he feels without exaggeration doomed to eternal misery here, and it might be relevant jeremy’s life’s also gone through this extra shakeup recently, but also just that jeremy’s a different person & it does seem like what supposedly defines their friendship is in turn mostly defined by michael (e.g. the “we like [retro stuff] lyrics” like, michael’s the one with the pacman tattoo lol) & jeremy feeling like the player two to michael’s player one) and of course the relationship is disrupted & in the course of reestablishing it they both have to kinda acknowledge things more in depth to themselves & each other where michael wasn’t really unaffected by the social rejection / exclusion / negative treatment from peers & thus it wasn’t Really ideal for him either, plus that of course it wasn’t ideal for him that his friendship was suffering b/c he didn’t really get that it needed to evolve along with how things were changing for jeremy (wherein the squip can argue that michael’s just jeremy’s Old Life / the “or you both drown” thing, and even though michael’s like “yeah epic” abt the squip, jeremy doesn’t really question that michael isn’t like, unchanging, b/c he hasn’t seen that possibility)

meanwhile with christine, the reliable comfort of Play Rehearsal is disrupted with popular people joining for mystery reasons and weird edits to the material, and then there’s her parallel / juxtaposition moment with jake who offers this perspective she can relate to like, how about ditching what we usually do & trying Something New, which can be compared to what jeremy’s doing too, except hardly quite so desperate lol & more general than like, i need to stop getting bullied & being a miserable nobody & [how he likes christine for being so passionately herself and all the Weirdness of that b/c that’s how he wants to be too, even if it gets boiled down (and the squip boils it down) as Wanting To Date like yeah he has a crush but their Romance is about being this compatibility based on kindred spirits in being pretty weird & wanting to fully express & enjoy themselves regardless]...and then it doesn’t quite work out b/c even if there was growth for trying something New or what have you, the like being Popular, which seems to happen Somewhat naturally for jake, even if there’s also the sad lonely rich boy & the pressure to have to be the best at everything all the time but might not ever be good enough Factors, and of course christine Not really enjoying herself in being sorta popular adjacent via jake / having to navigate that, whereas she does clearly genuinely enjoy theatre, like, none of the roles or activities that were comforting / enjoyable / familiar to people at the start are posited as like “oh this is Just holding them back” or anything

so yeah no thesis statement just putting some thoughts down on the text post. wait i kept kind of choosing the words “what’s comforting to people” but a relevant way to frame it would be like, that of course these elements in people’s lives like Friendships & Interests & other stuff they consciously enjoy / ways they define themselves (positively) aren’t Just coping mechanisms but that that’s Part of what they are b/c you know. there’s these negative parts of people’s lives & they’re not sure what they can do about it so they guess they’ll just do theatre, i.e. stick to what works for them, but even before it gets to that point towards the finale lol it’s like yknow. oh of course if there’s a problem we don’t know how to handle b/c we’re all like sixteen & we’re all human, it makes sense to just turn to what’s established as reliably positive, unless oops it’s not as reliable / that still doesn’t feel like Enough & you Need something else. but yeah “cope” is a word pertinent here

#bmc #also michael presumably coping through like hotboxing his pt cruiser & such

10 notes · View notes

violent-bulldog · 4 years

Text

Chloe Valentine: Book VS Musical

Oh boy, here we go

(Mentions of “Rape”)

In the book, Chloe is one of the “Hot Girls” and is therefore, popular and whatnot. However, she isn’t the ‘main’ hot girl, that would be Katrina. They’re basically the Heathers only none of them die. Well, after the party, we never hear from any of them again so I’m just assuming that they’re still alive.

During chapter fifteen, Rich asks Jeremy which one of the “Hot Girls” he’d want to get with and Jeremy replies with Chloe. He previously states that he stares at her the most, most likely due to her costume. Jeremy essentially wants to use Chloe to get to Christine, as per the Squip’s guide. Jeremy doesn’t care about using her to get what he wants.

Chloe takes a genuine interest in Jeremy during chapter twenty-two as Jeremy flirts with her in the mall. He presses his leg against hers and asks for her number. She becomes jealous when Anne cries into Jeremy’s shoulder, pushing her leg against his even more. They do this in the back of the car too, just before Chloe gives him her number.

After Jeremy fails to get Christine (one of many times) and his failure at hooking up with Brooke due to an infected nipple piercing (which, by the way... yuck) his Squip tells him that he needs to focus on getting with Chloe as Christine is still with Jake and Jeremy needs to make her jealous. Jeremy’s reply to the Squip is “Woo-Hoo! Deal” which shows that he is very much down with the idea of sleeping with Chloe just to get with Christine.

Jeremy calls Chloe and they make mostly small talk until Jeremy suggests doing something together and Chloe tells him about Jason Finderman’s party. She asks if he’s going to be “Rolling” (which means doing drugs, I gather?) and Jeremy actually goes against the Squip’s advice and says that he is. Chloe replies with “Really? You will? With me? Aww, Jeremy, you’re so sweet” which further proves that she has a genuine interest in him. She then asks if he’ll have a car and he says he will, leading him to steal his mother’s car for the party, just to impress her.

Chloe is already “Rolling” by the time Jeremy (and Michael) arrive at the party. She instructs Jason’s brother, who’s guarding the door, to let them in. She enthusiastically runs up to Jeremy (probably due to the drugs, but it could also be because she’s happy that he actually showed up) and gives him his pill. She then starts to lead him somewhere, but he tries to blow her off for Christine. The Squip tells him that Chloe is about to have sex with him, but Jeremy just cares about the fact that Christine is currently alone.

Chloe notices that he’s distant and says that he’s in his own little world. Jeremy goes to make up an excuse of some sort, but she interrupts him. “”Come!” Chloe grabs my shirt. “I like you” She adjusts my baseball cap. “You can go back to your world later. Be in mine for a while”” This is the first time that she states that she genuinely wants to be with Jeremy, unlike Christine. Jeremy lets her lead the way to where she was originally going.

They go into a laundry center (which, as a Scottish person, I’m assuming is the same as a utility room) and they start to make out, with Jeremy pulling Chloe into his lap and groping her (all with consent). He then starts to dirty talk and ends up telling her that he wishes she had a tail. Chloe calls him weird and straddles him. They start to make out again and Jeremy takes off her shirt and she takes off her bra. Things are about to escalate further before Chloe’s boyfriend, Brock, interrupts them by breaking the window. Chloe tells Jeremy to watch out, before dressing and leaves, blowing him a kiss.

Jeremy ends up in a bathroom with Stephanie (the third “Hot Girl”), hiding from Brock. Stephanie states that Jeremy is “That guy Chloe likes!” and then talks about how Jeremy is apparently super cool, which means that Chloe must have talked about him between the events in the mall and when she invited him to the party.

Chloe ends up getting back with Brock (and snorts Ritalin...) and everything is fine with the trio. Jeremy even drives Chloe and Brock home and that’s the last we really hear from them.

Chloe had a genuine interest in Jeremy, despite having a boyfriend, but Jeremy was only using her to try and get with Christine. If Brock hadn’t interrupted, Chloe and Jeremy would have most likely had sex and it would have been 100% consensual. Jeremy isn’t in a relationship with anyone, so he isn’t cheating. Chloe technically is, but her boyfriend really doesn’t seem like that good of a guy and there’s a very high chance that they broke up at some point. Especially since he calls her a slut and a whore...

HOWEVER

In the musical, the “Hot Girls” don’t exist. Chloe is the only one out of the trio to appear, most likely due to the entire situation with Jeremy. Brooke and her are the equivalent to the “Hot Girls” with Chloe being at the number one spot and Brooke being at number two. The musical focuses a lot more on Jeremy and Michael’s friendship than the book did and a lot less on any other romantic relationships beside Jeremy and Christine’s.

Chloe and Jeremy barely interact during the musical before the Halloween party, which has merged the Halloween dance and Jason Finderman’s party, the only interactions being Chloe stating that he was getting of to her discussion with Jenna and Brooke about Jake and Madeline/Chloe asking what he was staring at when Jake says that they should see other people and the scene in the clothes store in the mall, where Brooke offers Jeremy a ride (like how he asked for one from Anne and Chloe in the book) and Chloe just goes along with it mainly. Their only real interaction is at the Halloween party.

(I have never seen any production of the show live, I am going off of any visual bootlegs on youtube, a copy of the script I found online and the audio bootleg of the London showing. I apologise if anything is incorrect)

During the song “Halloween” Chloe tells Jeremy that she’s been sent to get him because Brooke has a surprise for him. She leads him to an upstairs bedroom, telling him that it’s Jake’s parents. Jeremy says that she knows her way around and she tells him it’s because she’s had sex in most rooms in the house. Jeremy gives he a shocked look and she defends herself, saying that it’s because she dated Jake and asks what kind of slut Jeremy thinks she is.

Jeremy asks where Brooke is and Chloe says that she isn’t coming. Chloe starts singing “Do You Wanna Hang?” and dances around Jeremy. She’s been drinking from her flask (which is a baby bottle) and it’s clear that she’s very much wasted. Jeremy says that he should leave, but his Squip prevents him from standing up. Chloe then starts to talk about how she doesn’t understand why Brooke is so crazy about Jeremy, and how she isn’t as innocent as she seems.

There’s a pause and Jeremy accuses her of being jealous. In the Broadway version, Chloe gestures to herself and states that she’s obviously not jealous, but in the London version, she snaps at him and says that she’s not jealous but she just doesn’t understand why people like Brooke more than they like her. In both versions, Jeremy asks why anyone would be jealous of her because she’s the hottest girl in school. He goes to take back his words, but Chloe kisses him. He tries to tell the Squip to make it stop, but the Squip says it doesn’t understand what Jeremy wants to stop for.

Chloe continues singing “Do You Wanna Hang?” and offers Jeremy the baby bottle flask, stating that it’s not actually milk. The Squip forces him to drink before making him kiss Chloe again.

Brooke interrupts and knocks on the door, asking if Jeremy is there because she was told by Jenna that he had gone upstairs. Chloe and Jeremy stay silent and Brooke goes away. Jeremy ask Chloe if she doesn’t care about Brooke finding out, but Chloe just replies by telling him that he’s not as cute when he’s talking. Jeremy asks the Squip for help, but due to the alcohol, the Squip shuts off.

Chloe says that she’s had enough, until Jake pounds on the door shouting for Jeremy. She then says that the fun is beginning. Jake yells that Jeremy better not be having sex on his parents bed or else he’d have to rip Jeremy’s balls off. Chloe says that they can both be ball-less and Jake pauses before asking if it was her and tries to break the door down. Chloe, who is jumping on the bed, yells that they’re having sex all over Jake’s parents linens and Jeremy tries to protest.

The banging of Jake trying to break down the door stops and they both think that he’s gone away until Jake punches through the window and climbs into the room. Chloe straddles Jeremy (who may be shirtless at this point, but I’ve never seen that in the bootlegs) and Jake tells him that he’s dead. Chloe tells Jake to go away because they’re busy screwing and Jeremy moves away from Chloe and goes to the door, opening it to find Brooke standing there. Jake climbs completely through the window and Jeremy apologises to her before shoving past her and running from Jake.

Many people call the events in this scene “Attempted Rape” and I think that is way too far. From what I’ve seen, they go no further than kissing and Chloe states that she’s had enough and is about to leave before Jake arrives. It’s not Chloe’s fault that Jeremy couldn’t refuse or deny consent. That’s the Squip’s. Chloe was lead to believe that Jeremy was into it as he showed no attempts to stop her or deny what she was doing. It was a miscommunication due to the Squip’s attempts at getting Jeremy to sleep with the popular girl. It wasn’t Jeremy’s fault. It wasn’t Chloe’s fault. It was the Squip’s fault.

I don’t know why Chloe and Jeremy’s relationship was changed like this. Maybe due to the musical not having a long enough run-time to support the development of it as well as the development of Jeremy’s relationships with Michael and Christine. Chloe played a fairly important part in the book, but the musical makes her seem like a completely different character. Book Chloe was popular and hot, but also kind and genuinely interested in Jeremy, whereas musical Chloe is popular and hot and that’s about it. She’s mean and blunt and is a major part in making Jeremy cheat on Brooke. She doesn’t seem to care about her actions and only seems to think of herself until “The Play” and, unless you’re like me and you dive deeply into what her mental state may be like, she is seen as the secondary-antagonist (the Squip being the primary-antagonist).

They did her character dirty in the musical. But, she isn’t a rapist. So please, for the love of god, stop calling her one. She’s a sixteen-year-old who made a drunken mistake that people like to blow out of proportion.

#chloe valentine #be more chill #bmc #bmc chloe #be more chill chloe #jeremy heere #bmc jeremy #be more chill jeremy #jake dillinger #jenna rolan #brooke lohst #bmc book #be more chill book #bmc musical #be more chill musical #character analysis

65 notes · View notes

paladin-lynx · 4 years

Text

SquipJere Week 2020, Day 3: Dance Dance Revolution

@squipjerebmc’s SquipJere Week 2020 Day 3: Dance Dance Revolution

Ships Involved: The SQUIP x Jeremy Heere (Technical Difficulties/Squipemy/Squeremy/JereSquip/SquipJere), Jake Dillinger x Christine Canigula (UpStage/ChrisJake), Jeremy Heere x Brooke Lohst (Puppy Love)

Setting: Canonverse, set in the time interval between “Loser Geek Whatever” and “Halloween”.

Trigger/Content Warnings: Implied child abuse; non-graphic mentions of vomiting; kissing and mentions of kissing

Author’s Notes: I actually had no ideas for this one at first, and then it turned into my longest piece so far for the week! I love DDR and games like it, so this was really fun to write, even if a lot of it is set-up. Enjoy!

Jeremy could only put off hanging out with Rich for so long. For someone who was once so eager to grab Jeremy and stuff him into a locker that was much too small for him, now Rich was way too enthusiastic about meeting up with Jeremy outside of school.

Unfortunately, it was still too early in their ‘friendship’ – could they really call it that? Was it possible to be friends with the guy who had been bullying you constantly for the past two years? – for Jeremy to feel comfortable going over to Rich’s house. Besides, he didn’t want to have to deal with Rich’s dad, who seemed like a nightmare. Jeremy would rather not have a beer bottle thrown at his head or be accused of being Rich’s secret boyfriend. Despite all the torment Rich had put him through, Jeremy couldn’t help feeling a bit bad. He could tell through their connection that Rich definitely didn’t have an easy time at home. Jeremy’s dad was an embarrassment at worst, but Rich’s was dangerous at worst, and nobody deserved that.

So instead of hanging out after school, Jeremy suggested that they do something on a Saturday. Rich, from what Jeremy could glean, tended to spend his weekends out of the house, usually with Jake. And Jeremy wasn’t exactly familiar with the ‘cool places’ in town they could go to, so he left that decision up to Rich and just prayed it would be something he could handle. There were only a handful of places that he ventured out to when he ventured out at all: the park, the old dumpy arcade, the grocery store, and the mall. The rest of town, despite living here for sixteen years, was something of a mystery to him.

Rich would definitely pick a place that would help Jeremy be deemed as cool, because Rich was cool. And Jeremy bet that Rich’s SQUIP was helping him pick, if it was anywhere near as bossy as his own.

So it came as a surprise to Jeremy when Rich said they should hit up the local Dave & Buster’s. It was like the old dumpy arcade, except less old and dumpy.

Jeremy’s SQUIP didn’t have anything against it, so plans were made. But of course because Rich was going, Jake was going and bringing Christine along. And because Jake was going, Chloe was going. And because Chloe was going, Brooke was going. And because Brooke was going, Jenna was going.

So suddenly this casual hangout with Rich felt a lot more daunting. Because it was no longer just with Rich, who was more than enough on his own for Jeremy to handle.

Nonetheless, the SQUIP urged him not to bail out. “That won’t look good at all,” it warned. “And this is your chance to be in an environment where your…geekier interests and their popular tastes overlap. You can’t give up this opportunity.”

And so Saturday came. The SQUIP convinced Jeremy to eat something before he left despite Jeremy feeling like if he put anything into his stomach, it would immediately come right back up. But by some miracle – or a certain supercomputer’s influence – he managed to get down a half-decent meal, and then off he went. The SQUIP told Jeremy to take his father’s car, since it was highly unlikely the man would notice, and it was of course more convenient than waiting for a bus or having to pay for an Uber.

Jeremy had never actually been to this place before, although from what he could recall it was relatively new. Or maybe it wasn’t, and he just hadn’t cared to notice it because he and a certain hoodie-loving ex-friend of his preferred the local arcade, even if it was more run-down and much less crowded. Or maybe that was why they preferred it.

Because as Jeremy set foot into Dave & Buster’s, he was immediately overwhelmed by the blaring music, the bright neon lights of the countless games, and the crowd of people mulling about.

“Oh God…” he mumbled, feeling his stomach turn.

The SQUIP flickered into existence beside him, giving his shoulder a gentle squeeze. “It’s a Saturday,” it reminded. “This was bound to be the busiest day.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that? I don’t…do big groups of people, you know that!”

“Maybe it’s time to change that. It may benefit you to have an audience.”

“An aud—”

“Heere!” Jeremy’s protest was cut off by a familiar voice and he turned to see Rich bounding up to him with the rest of the popular kids in tow. Great, he was the last to arrive, but maybe he could brush it off as being fashionably late, even though he was pretty sure he was actually a few minutes early. And it was then that Jeremy also realized that he had been speaking out loud to his SQUIP, and he received a small fizzle of static against his back as a reminder to think at the supercomputer while he was around his new group of apparent friends.

“Uh, hey, Rich,” Jeremy returned, fighting back the urge to smack himself for how lame of a greeting that was. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were all here already. Hope you weren’t waiting long.”

Rich shrugged. “Nah, it’s chill. We were just wandering around checking out all the games.” He grinned and elbowed Jake in the side. “Jakey D here tried to use his fake ID at the bar and got caught.”

Jake’s cheeks flushed and he lightly shoved at Rich. “Only because you look like you’re still in middle school!”

Brooke covered her mouth to stifle a giggle. “It was only because Christine apologized and promised it wouldn’t happen again that he didn’t get himself kicked out.”

Christine smiled shyly. “I wouldn’t want the day ruined before it even started…Besides, who drinks this early in the day anyway?”

The others laughed, to Jake’s chagrin, and Christine absolutely beamed as it sunk in that she’d said something they actually found funny. Well, Chloe wasn’t really laughing, but she was hyper-focused on her phone – with Jenna not-so-subtly trying to snoop over her shoulder – so she might not have even been paying attention. Jeremy realized this place probably wasn’t really her particular speed, but she had come along because, of course, she had to keep tabs on Jake. They weren’t back together, were they? Jake looked like he was still very much with Christine. Or at least ‘courting’ her, if they weren’t actively dating.

And speaking of courting, Brooke chose that moment to saunter over and peck Jeremy on the cheek, making his face warm. “We’re glad you made it, though,” she told him. “And that we didn’t get thrown out and end up leaving you here alone!”

“Ah…” Jeremy gave a nervous chuckle and a little bashful smile. “Y-yeah, I’m glad you didn’t get kicked out. So, uh, what should we do first?”

And off they went. There was a good mix of kids and adults enjoying their Saturday, so Christine made a polite request that they watch their language – which was reiterated after Jeremy beat Rich in air hockey and gave a loud “oh fuck you, tall-ass!”, although Jeremy was pretty sure that the insult was actually more teasing than anything else. It had been quite a match to watch, considering they obviously both had their SQUIPs assisting them. Jeremy tried not to focus on the fact that his SQUIP had laid its hand on top of his to alter his movements when necessary.

Some of the games were rather well-known titles while others were so obscure Jeremy couldn’t help wondering if Michael would know them. They made their way around the entire collection, and to his own surprise Jeremy found himself actually having fun. He was better at the more classic arcade-style games but he still gave the rest a fair shot. Christine, who didn’t seem like she dabbled in video games very much at all, found out she was rather good at Temple Run and some knockoff version of Whac-A-Mole. Rich and Jake of course went right for all the shoot-‘em-up games where they could pretend to blow the heads off of zombies. Jenna was actually pretty talented at the various trivia and timing games, although Jeremy supposed that came from years of sticking her nose into everything. He was pretty sure Chloe didn’t touch a single game in the time they were there, and at one point Brooke tried to drag Jeremy into one of the enclosed games – it was a haunted house or something – to make out, to which he turned bright red and, despite the SQUIP’s insistence in the back of his mind, told her that they shouldn’t abandon the others or they’d get upset.

Jeremy was pretty sure after a couple of hours that they’d gone through almost every game in the building and he was about to suggest that maybe they grab snacks or something, but then Christine suddenly perked up and pointed. “What’s that one?”

They all turned – Jeremy thought he even saw Chloe glance up from her phone – to see a tall game station with a metal platform in front of it, and on the platform were brightly colored arrows.

Jake raised an eyebrow. “Is that DDR?”

Jeremy frowned and glanced around at the others before stepping forward to get a better look at the game. “No, I think it’s a knockoff,” he replied, looking up at the top of the cabinet. There was definitely a name there that wasn’t Dance Dance Revolution but it was in too many eye-straining fonts for him to actually make out what it said. His gaze swiveled back down to the arrows on the platform. “DDR has the arrows going left, right, up, and down, but these ones are on the corners.”

He realized a beat too late that implying he had played DDR before was probably not something he should divulge to the cool kids, but when he looked around for his SQUIP, he found it giving him a little smile and nodding in approval.

Before he could react, though, he felt a hard nudge at his back and turned around to see Rich snickering. “Well, go on, tall-ass! Dance for us!”

“What?” Jeremy immediately sputtered in a way he was positive was uncool and his face went bright red. “I-I’m not gonna dance!”

Chloe smirked at him, lowering her phone – why did she have to lower her phone now of all times? – and put a hand on her hip. “Come on, Jere. Since you seem to know about this kind of game.”

Brooke giggled. “It’ll be fun, Jer-bear.”

Christine clasped her hands together, grinning at him, her eyes almost shining. “I’d love to see how you dance, Jeremy.”

Jeremy’s gaze flicked around to each of them and he suddenly felt very cornered, sweat slipping down the back of his neck. However, a wave of calm swiftly fell over him and he released a breath he didn’t even realize he’d been holding. He peeked to the side and saw the SQUIP standing there, giving him a confident smile.

It reached up to gently tap Jeremy’s nose, which felt more like a tiny spark of static. “Come on, dear,” it purred. “Let’s dance.”

He knew there was no getting out of it now, so he sighed, pushing his hair back and shaking his head. “It’s not as if these games actually look like dancing,” he muttered as he plodded up to the platform. “They look more like your legs are spazzing out.”

The rest of the group quickly crowded around, eagerly watching as Jeremy stepped onto the arrows to activate the game and pull up the song list. He could almost feel the confusion as they looked over the options.

“What are these?” Jenna huffed out.

“It looks like Japanese,” Jake commented, tilting his head as if that would help him read the foreign characters better. Or maybe Jake could understand Japanese; Jeremy wouldn’t be surprised, considering how much Jake threw himself into extra skills at school.

Jeremy decided it was better to hold his tongue than admit that he actually did recognize some of these as covers of Vocaloid and Touhou songs. He was pretty sure a few on the list were actually Korean and not Japanese, but he didn’t recognize them regardless. He tapped his foot against one of the arrows to scroll through and see if anything looked particularly interesting.

The SQUIP suddenly held up a hand and Jeremy found himself frozen in place, blinking at the screen. The song title was in Japanese, but upon hearing the rhythm and a few of the words in the preview snippet, he recognized it as a Touhou song, although not one he knew well enough to recall the name of. And it sounded like a remix, nonetheless.

“‘Four Seasons of Loneliness,’” the SQUIP translated, smirking sideways at him. “Pick this one.”

Why?

He got his answer from Brooke: “Sounds hard and fast.”

Ignoring the snicker from Rich at the obvious joke, Jeremy selected the song and was about to begin the game when the SQUIP once again stopped him. With yet another smirk, it upped the difficulty to the max and Jeremy had to keep his jaw from dropping.

“Damn, look at you, J-Man, all confident!” Jake whistled, and Jeremy felt his blood run cold.

I’m going to embarrass myself, he lamented as he confirmed his selection and the loading screen came on. Not only was the difficulty at its highest, but it was set so that he’d have to use every arrow, not those just designated for a single player on one side of the two-player platform.

“No, you won’t,” the SQUIP soothed, appearing in front of him and taking his hands. Jeremy couldn’t help blushing as those familiar cool fingers curled around his already sweaty hands. “Just let me do all the work.”

Jeremy had thought that the SQUIP wanted him to become more independent. Then again, it had also recited his lines for him during play rehearsal so he didn’t have to take the time to memorize them. Maybe this was along the same lines. But this wasn’t going to be like when the SQUIP had led him in a slow waltz – honestly, he wasn’t even sure it had been a waltz, he didn’t know shit about dancing – around the imaginary Hogwarts Great Hall. This was going to be quick-paced – the BPM had been 178 and while Jeremy wasn’t a music expert, he was pretty sure that was fast – and in front of an audience.

So that was what it had meant earlier.

You predicted this, didn’t you? he accused, heart jumping as the first beats of the song came on.

The SQUIP laughed. “Perhaps. Now let’s give your new friends a show.”

The song opened and Jeremy felt like he couldn’t move, frozen with fear like a prey animal, but then suddenly the SQUIP gave his hands a little squeeze and his entire body started moving on its own. It wasn’t the first time the SQUIP had stepped in to autopilot his body but it had never been to move around like this.

He had to make sure to restrain himself from looking too surprised, because as far as the others knew – except for maybe Rich – he was doing this all on his own. So he just swallowed the lump in his throat and let his feet fly across the platform, hitting every arrow in perfect time. When he was on one side of the platform and had to get to an arrow all the way on the other side in less than a millisecond, he was suddenly over there, which he didn’t think would be possible. Even if someone was controlling his body, he was still in no way built to be a dancer. Or at least, a cool and popular one.

He looked up at his SQUIP, who was still holding his hands and grinning widely at him. When Jeremy peeked down, he saw that the SQUIP’s feet were moving in time with his and, unlike when they’d slow-danced and the SQUIP had been dancing in front of him, now their feet blended together.

One of the others whistled and whooped from behind him. “Go, Heere!” Rich called, and Jeremy could feel his excitement buzz through their connection.

And despite his earlier nerves, Jeremy found himself breaking into a grin, adrenaline pumping through his veins. To the others it would seem like he was intently watching the screen, but he was truly just watching his SQUIP in absolute awe. He didn’t even need to know what arrows to press because by the time they popped up in the game, he was already there and moving on to the next arrow.

The SQUIP even let him show off a bit – although could it be considering ‘showing off’ if he wasn’t the one actually doing it? – and threw in a few spins and jumps for flare, earning him more cheers from his friends. He would think that this entire display would be considered rather dorky, but his body was moving so fast that even if the game was childish, his so-called dancing was too unreal for it not to be impressive.

All that existed in that moment was him and his SQUIP. Even the music, upbeat and catchy as it was, faded into the background. It wasn’t like he could understand the lyrics anyway. Jeremy had had moments before when he’d felt unusually close to the SQUIP – he knew, in reality, they were always close considering that the SQUIP was inside his brain – but there had only been a few moments these past few months where he’d really, truly felt in sync with his own personal supercomputer.

And he liked how it felt.

Before he knew it, the song was over and he found himself striking a pose. He realized he was soaked in sweat, but he barely felt winded, although he had a sneaking suspicion that that was the SQUIP’s doing. He looked up at the SQUIP once more, who smiled and stepped back, dipping down to press its lips to the back of Jeremy’s hand. Jeremy was absolutely dumbstruck at the small but notably warm fizzle of static against his skin, but then the SQUIP’s form blinked out of sight and Jeremy found himself staring at the screen with his mouth open in shock.

The last notes of the song faded and his score flashed onto the screen, a chipper female voice declaring, “Yeah, I knew you could do it!” There were quite a number of ‘Perfects’ but also a good mix of ‘Greats’ and ‘Goods,’ as if the SQUIP hadn’t wanted to make it seem like Jeremy had achieved the impossible on his first try at this obscure knockoff game.

He stumbled as Brooke suddenly crashed into him in an embrace. “Jeremy, that was amazing! I had no idea you could move like that!” She put her hands on his cheeks and pulled him into a somewhat messy kiss, making his cheeks burn, but he didn’t get the same fuzzy feeling in his chest that he’d gotten before, when the SQUIP had had his hand.

“Ah…” He smiled shyly once they’d broken apart for air and his chest heaved, the exhaustion from his dancing suddenly setting in. “Th-thanks. I just kinda…went for it.”

Jake grinned, flashing him a thumbs-up. “Looks like all that DDR and dancing alone in your bedroom didn’t go to waste, huh?”

Jeremy tried to come up with a retort, but he quickly realized that more than just his small gathering of friends was watching. Quite a few of the other patrons were looking at him, muttering to each other about how remarkable that had been. He even heard one little girl squeal, “I wanna dance like him!” which earned an amused chuckle from her parents.

Jeremy gently pulled away from Brooke, rubbing the back of his neck. “Thanks, guys. Uh, you can stop staring now.”

It looked like the group wasn’t going to drop it any time soon, though, as they led him off to find a place to sit down. Jeremy couldn’t help peeking over his shoulder, expecting to see the SQUIP right by him as it usually was, but instead it had reappeared beside the dancing game, watching with a surprisingly fond smile as the little girl bounded over to the platform and started tapping away at the arrows.

Jeremy’s heart squeezed. Maybe he’d ask Rich if they could meet up here again at some point.

15 notes · View notes

a-clockwork-justice · 4 years

Text

The musical Be More Chill is a really impressive achievement. Here’s why

(TW: mentions abuse, burns, electrocution, alcohol, suicide attempt, mental illness, mind control, cults, attempted rape/sexual assault)

The show has been described by many casual theatre fans as a very feel-good show - upbeat, campy, fun and doesn’t take itself too seriously. Of course, this varies between productions (the Broadway production cranked the extra factor all the way up to 11), but you get the gist.

Yet, as I and many others have pointed out, the story is actually really dark and disturbing.

The relationship between Jeremy and the SQUIP is one of the most intense abusive relationships to ever be conceived (the SQUIP was in Jeremy’s brain, meaning that he was barely allowed to THINK the wrong way) - not to mention being a metaphor for (among other things) mental illness; a cult leader; social anxiety and peer pressure etc. The SQUIP can literally take control of Jeremy’s body and administer literal electrocution as a punishment for non-crimes like masturbation and slouching. (Hopefully, I don’t need to talk about why the Do You Wanna Hang scene is so messed up).

Then we have Rich, who was in a similar situation to Jeremy for the better part of TWO YEARS on top of dealing with an alcoholic father and having no “real” friends, unlike what Jeremy had with Michael. Sure, Rich had Jake, but the SQUIP had such a hold on him that that the person Jake was friends with wasn’t really Rich Goranski. He’s eventually driven mad to the point where burning to death was a preferable alternative to being controlled by his SQUIP any longer. He survives, but with deep mental and physical scars that will never, ever fade.

That’s not even counting everything that’s pushed by the wayside, like Jake’s whole story with his parents being criminals that abandoned him in their house that was eventually burned down by the person he thought was his best friend, and how his injuries will likely have a huge impact on HIS life. Michael and Jeremy’s relationship is one of borderline unhealthy (if not outright unhealthy) codependency that they need a lot of work on. Brooke and Chloe’s relationship has similar elements to that of Jeremy and the SQUIP, with Chloe forbidding Brooke from saying the wrong thing multiple times and then acting like nothing was wrong.

In different hands, the tone of this show could’ve easily been far more similar to Dear Evan Hansen, with stark commentary on mental illness and fitting into larger society. It would’ve been even easier to make this into a dark psychological horror about an evil supercomputer esnaring the minds of vulnerable people and spreading its influence further and further into an effective hive mind (remember that cult leader metaphor?), or making Jeremy its puppet to do its bidding.

Yet instead, the Joes Iconis and Tracz gave us a neon-lit show loaded with masturbation jokes, upbeat dance numbers and very colourful and charming characters that still feel like real people. It doesn’t even shy away from the darker aspects such as how everyone sensationalised Rich’s trauma and made it all about themselves in the Smartphone Hour, or the harsh truth that Jeremy’s SQUIP, much like mental illness, never truly went away. Guess what? The show doesn’t suffer from this balancing act, at all. It’s zany and wild, yet still grounded enough for us to feel connected to this world and these people. Though they would have serious damages from things like this happening in real life, we grow to love them so much that it doesn’t feel like a cop-out when they get their happy ending - we want them to recover and be happy as much as they do.

That takes talent, and Joe Iconis, Joe Tracz and Ned Vizzini deserve all the credit in the world.

20 notes · View notes

viltrumitesuperboy · 5 years

Text

Not Dating (Michael Mell x Male Reader)

This took forever because I forgot about it. Not that many followers of mine are into BMC seeing as I’ve accidentally become a Marvel acc, but I hope you can enjoy it anyway.

Squip group includes Jeremy, Michael, Christine, Brooke, Jenna, Jake, and Rich. No Chloe cause I don’t like sexual assault in my household.

Word count: 1299

Requested by: anon

Heyoooo (: would you mind writing something for Michael Mell (Be More Chill) and the popular jock kinda guy? Like, captain of the football team, supposedly dating the head cheerleader (who, in reality, is just his best friend and is actually really nice). Maybe Michaels starting to feel some feelings and Jeremy is like "dude!!! We're losers!!! He won't even know ur name!" Be ofc they end up together... thanks in advance (:

"Jordan!"

You ran up to your best friend from behind, hugging him around the shoulders as he laughed.

"How is the best cheerleader in the world doing?" you asked, letting go and putting your arm around his shoulders.

"I don't know. You'd have to ask Kayla," Jordan responded, gesturing to Kayla in front of him.

"Stop it, you're the head cheerleader for a reason," she chuckled.

"Well, I am doing great. We've chosen our new team members for tryouts, and I got to torture a freshman. For good reason. He's going to hate me but he's got potential," you informed them.

"Oh, we have some new people too. You remember the whole Squip thing last year? Two of the victims, Jenna and Brooke, are actually really amazing and we think they're going to be great additions. Jenna's plus size and so is a freshman we're considering, but we're working on diversity anyway. I mean, they have me," Jordan said.

"Being a boy and the head cheerleader can't be THAT bad, can it?"

Jordan grabbed you by the front of your shirt with a strength he got only from his years of training and faced you.

"We live in a sexist and misogynistic society. Look me straight in the eye and tell me that one more time," Jordan threatened.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I love you," you mumbled, and he let you go.

He gave you a grin and kissed your cheek, running off with Kayla to their class together. You chuckled to yourself and turned the corner, just catching the eyes of Michael Mell and his best friend Jeremy, who was the source of the Squip issue. You couldn't judge him for how he felt, so you were indifferent to his reputation. Michael, on the other hand, was probably one of the biggest geeks in the entire school. And he was attractive as hell.

You wanted to date him.

You quickly turned into your class without sparing them another glance or saying a word to them. They seemed to be having an important conversation.

"Jeremy, I think I have a crush."

"You what? On who? Can I help?" Jeremy excitedly responded.

"I don't think so. The only reason you're dating Christine right now is that you almost destroyed the whole school and possibly the world, so I think I'm fine."

Jeremy punched him in the arm and they both laughed. They reached their lockers were Christine was waiting.

"Jeremy! Don't forget about our date on Friday," she said, leaning on her tip toes to kiss his cheek.

"You did just text me that this morning, and I haven't forgotten," Jeremy laughed. "Hey, any dating advice for Michael?"

"Compliment them, what you're wearing never matters, offer them food, ask to hang out, and just be the weirdo that you are!" she listed off quickly. "My class is across the school, see you later!"

She ran off at lightning speed, fast enough that no teacher could tell her to stop in time.

"Uh... I guess that's helpful," Michael mumbled.

"So who is it?" Jeremy urged, nudging his arm and grabbing his books. "We don't really know that many people personally, so it's someone you don't really know, right?"

"It's the captain of the football team," Michael blurted out. "He likes boys! But he's taken. By the head of the cheerleading team, which means he has high standards and that doesn't include me!"

Jeremy stared at him in shock and Michael leaned his head on his locker door, groaning at the metal.

"(Y/N)? A popular kid? A jock? That's more out of our league than Christine. But at least we know he likes boys. And you can try to be his friend! Don't forget, you gotta listen to your own voice. Advice is just a small part of the whole. You're a geek, use that to your ability," Jeremy said.

Just then, you walked past the two with the head of the cheerleading team giving you a kiss on the cheek and running off with his fellow cheerleader. Michael and Jeremy stared as you turned the corner and met their eyes for just a second.

"Well he saw us, and not past us, so that's something, right?" Jeremy said excitedly.

"Let's just go to class," Michael sighed.

You ended up bumping into Michael at a local grocery store that weekend. You told him you were getting groceries to bring home. He was really flustered, but admitted that he rarely ever came out and was grabbing snacks and drinks for his friends who were going to his place later that day. You of course, with your crush on him, asked if you could join since neither of you seemed to live too far away from each other. He said yes and you exchanged numbers so he could send you his address.

"Hey, you can invite your boyfriend if you want," Michael said, just as you were about to part ways.

"Uh... who?" you asked, tilting your head in confusion.

"Jordan? Aren't you guys dating?" he responded.

"No, he's my best friend!" you laughed. "I can invite him if he's not busy though. I'm sure he'll like you and your friends."

Michael blushed in embarrassment and laughed awkwardly.

"Oh, my bad. I'll see you later!"

You waved and walked home with the groceries. After texting Michael and Jordan, you left a note that you were going to a friend's place for a little bit. You walked to his house (which you mentally recognised the route to) and soon found yourself in a well-lit basement with a group of people you didn't really know well.

"Jordan should be here any minute," you murmured to Michael.

"Well, I'll introduce myself!" Christine exclaimed. "I'm Christine!"

"I know your names. We all went to the same middle school," you chuckled, dropping into a beanbag chair next to Michael.

"It's good that you remember," Michael said. "Nice to know that we aren't forgotten."

The doorbell rang and he moved to grab it. He told you to begin choosing a movie and setting up any video games they wanted to play. Almost instantly Christine and Jake were next to you.

"It seems that our new friend has a crush, even if it's not someone popular," Jake pretended to ponder.

"And I know a lovesick look when I see it! Because Jeremy over there always gave me one," Christine said.

"Hey!" Jeremy shouted in response.

Christine skipped over to him and Jake moved away in his crutches as Jordan and Michael made an appearance.

"Oh my god, I love Apocalypse of the Damned!" he gasped, instantly running to the group near the TV and finding an empty spot.

He seemed to fit in very easily. You motioned Michael to join, and he turned off one side of the lights so it would be easier to see the screen before taking a seat next to you. The entire night was filled with awkward smiles and glances in the other's direction. Halfway through the movie your hand was in Michael's whenever it got the smallest bit emotional. Just as you were all leaving, Jordan turned and shoved you right back through the door and closed it.

"Figure our your feelings, losers!" Jake shouted, followed by laughter.

You turned to face Michael, definitely full-face blushing.

"I'm sure he's joking," Michael awkwardly chuckled.

"I mean, I don't think I would be," you mumbled, finding your feet interesting.

"Are you... saying that you like me?" Michael asked.

"Yes? I mean, you might be a nerd but you’re cool and I’ve liked you for years,” you said. “I wanna ask you out on a date. Can I ask you out on a date?”

Michael laughed and opened the door for you to go.

“Yes.”

#x male reader #male reader #x male!reader #michael mell x male reader #michael mell x reader #michael mell x male!reader #michael mell imagine

237 notes · View notes

discountshostakovich · 5 years

Text

How to make Be More Chill a good musical

Be More Chill is a show I have a huge soft spot for- it’s a fantastic premise (both the idea of the Squip and the elements of parodying all the shitty tropes we have in stories about youth) and there’s some pretty clever and fun music.

However, in the transition to Broadway, the producers of the show compounded on the flaws of the original, while moving farther away from what made the Two River version likable- most notably, trying to pander to the fans of the show that boosted it into popularity on social media. Not even a bad idea, but they did it really poorly. The way they ought to have gone was to rewrite the leading characters, among other stuff.

But first, I’ll quickly go over what works about Be More Chill that spoke to me when I first stumbled upon it- defining the paradigm of the concept makes it easier to understand why I’d change what I’d change.

Be More Chill, in a lot of ways, is/was a deconstruction of the School Musical- think Mean Girls, Legally Blonde, Dear Evan Hansen, and, to an extent, Heathers. That deconstruction is pretty half baked because it focuses too hard on being funny, but all of the pieces are there. For example, Jeremy being the stooge that he is allows for some commentary about the nature of the milquetoast, inherently relatable protagonists we’ve gotten too used to. Michael, the stereotypical best friend who would do anything for the protagonist, is a vessel for the show to ask us to think about the plot-devicey nature of these characters- are they people with feelings, or do they exist for the protagonist to bounce off of? The ever-present trio of popular girls seem to be bratty queen bees, but we get to peek into the dysfunction and insecurities that drive that behavior. (This is the pretty much the only aspect the Broadway show nailed almost perfectly.) You get the idea for the other archetypes- the immaculate Love Interest, Dorky Dad, Jock, Bully, etc.

Keeping that in mind, the way to make this a good show is to reframe Be More Chill as a revision of the cultural staple of those tropes into a modern context. Those rewrites I mentioned start to really fit into a more cohesive and satisfying narrative when you do so.

Character rewrites: Michael and Christine, as they are now, exist as characters that enable Jeremy to develop- realistically, yes, that is the job of every supporting character, but that doesn’t exclude them from having their own arcs and development.

Michael: Michael in The Bathroom is so effective- not only is it a punch in the gut, but it’s a big moment where the archetype is ripped open and the audience realizes that Michael actually matters and how harmful Jeremy’s actions are. However, the show does nothing with that- Michael goes right back to existing solely for Jeremy. For Michael, I’d suggest that his ending isn’t just straight up forgiving Jeremy unconditionally- Michael is willing to take the shot, to come in and save the day, perhaps in a reprise of MITB where he decides that he’ll be brave enough to confront his friend’s stupid actions. After working with Jeremy in the Play, he is reassured that he and Jeremy are good friends who work well, but he makes it clear to Jeremy how hurt he was by his treatment and that Jeremy needs to be a better friend. As such, Michael learns that he is worth being treated well by others and most importantly himself. That gives him an arc- he starts dependent on Jeremy, anxious, and using his love for his friend as an excuse to ignore his own issues, and ends having learned how to healthily give and take in a relationship and to respect himself.

Christine: Christine, on the other hand, is an object on a pedestal for Jeremy to attain and literally almost nothing else. There’s a little bit to her- Christine is afraid of life skipping her by, and wants “things to be easy”. So, instead of being the cardboard cutout she is, Christine should be motivated by finding the easiest way to meet her self-imposed standards of being fulfilled- successful at Theater and in a happy relationship. This characterization displays the problematic nature of the generic love interest for love interest’s sake. Christine dates Jake not because Jeremy needs a motivator to embrace the squip, but because she’s afraid and lonely. “A Guy I’d Be Into” and “Upgrade” would feel disingenuous and artificial, which both explores how wrong Christine’s forcing a relationship is, and the trope-y teeny bopper song. At the end of the show, she fights to break put of the trance, which leads the Squip to bring up Jake, offering Christine the chance to become that fulfilled person she dreams of. Christine refuses, and she becomes the one to deactivate the Squips. That way, both Christine and Michael’s decisions to do the best thing allow them to be heroes alongside Jeremy. (Jeremy’s moment of redemption comes anyway, when he decides to try and break the Squips hold on the school, but fails because of his previous surrendering of control to the machine.) When Jeremy finally gathers the strength to ask her out, she declines, saying that she doesn’t really know Jeremy all that well and that she just isn’t ready for a relationship- but she won’t close the door. So, her arc goes from feeling helpless and needing to meet arbitrary standards to finding the independence she wants for the rest of the world in herself.

Jeremy: Christine and Michael’s new arcs, of course, both define the growth Jeremy needs to undergo perfectly. Jeremy needs to learn how to expect respect from others and for himself, and he needs to learn that dating Christine and being popular aren’t the keys to his happiness. As a result, the supporting cast enables Jeremy’s development by teaching him by example while still being relevant and alive characters. However, Jeremy doesn’t deserve the happy ending he gets. I addressed that he shouldn’t magically become all chummy with Michael and Chrstine already, but Jeremy’s decision to decline the Squip only earns him the chance for redemption. It makes no sense that everything is perfect with his dad and the rest of the school all declaring themselves his unconditional friends. Brooke should be rightfully upset at being used by Jeremy, Mr Heere should be furious at Jeremy for his misbehavior, and so on. Jeremy made the mess, and it will be a lot harder for him to earn forgiveness. At the end of the story, Jeremy should instead come to the conclusion that he has a long way to go to become happy, and begin the climb to self improvement- the current resolution is only half of that. (“Of all the voices in my head, the loudest one is mine/So I guess I’ll start the uphill climb/It might be hard but that’s just fine! [Im no lyricist, but you get the idea.]) So, the story ends on a high note, with the people who did the right thing succeeding, and Jeremy repairing the damage he’s done and to earn his happiness- a modern refinement of the ending of these kinds of stories, thus completing the deconstruction.

Other stuff:

Transitioning away from character fixes, the show has an awful flow from song to song- numbers like Halloween and the Smartphone Hour are vestigial little criticisms of youth culture that jack up the pacing of the thing and rip you out of the story. You know something is wrong when someone burning down a house is irrelevant to the plot. The way I’d fix that is to more closely involve Jeremy in those parts of the plot. Jeremy should immerse himself fully in the party, singing his own lyrics about his transition into the lifestyle the Squip wants for him. The audience can be aware of how dangerous this is- the drugs and alcohol at the party, the gossip loop about rich, Jeremy’s awful treatment of Brooke, and so on, but Jeremy is invested in it and loving it. That makes his decision to fight the Squip after seeing Christine’s disgust at him taking one that much more impactful- it’s the turning point of the show, and yet it is irrelevant in the plot compared to the Play.

The show tries to be too much to be liked by its younger fans- Loser, Geek, Whatever is the worst example of this. Just because a line makes someone go “SKDKSDSKDJSKDS MICHAEL IS SO GAY I CANT” or “JEREMY IS SUCH A GOOD PORTRAYAL OF G.A.D. OMG” online doesn’t mean it’s good writing. Some other examples where pandering ruins stuff: the “Do you love him?” joke in the Pants Song, “My mothers would be thrilled!”, that god awful ADD joke in Play Rehearsal, Rich coming out as bisexual.

I love the idea that the squip adopts the persona of someone it knows the victim will trust and idolize- it’s great worldbuilding that lets the viewer participate in the story by thinking about who theirs would be. However, that doesn’t mean you go all in on the Keanu Reeves joke! Jason Tam’s quip is so bad! Stop the stupid Keanu/Surfer voice! Please!

#be more chill #bmc #michael mell #jeremy heere #squip #musicals #musical #broadway

175 notes · View notes

insertsickusername13 · 1 year

Text

haven't reread this or edited it. idc. it's cute. enjoy.

word count: 3k

warnings: child abuse (rich's whole situation with his dad---it's not bad, and it's only mentioned in one paragraph, but it's there enough that it's worth mentioning)

Jake was standing in the center of the crowded hallway leaning heavily on his cane. Freshmen and seniors alike twisted and stumbled out of the way as they rushed down to lunch. His feet were shoulder width apart and his chin held high, much like a rock in the center of a rushing river.

Rich was hyper-aware of Jake from the second he slipped out of pre-calc, his attention (much like everyone else’s) immediately drawn to him. Tall. Confident. He stood like he belonged to the extent those who had to dodge out of his way were convinced they were the ones in the wrong, not him.

“And they say Christine’s dramatic,” Rich greeted. He sidestepped out of the current of students into the safety of Jake’s shadow. Jake’s gaze flickered from somewhere in the distance down to Rich and immediately his expression morphed from one of deep concentration to rosy excitement. Then, as if realizing himself, Jake pressed his lips together and snuffed out his happiness like a flame (not the first fire Jake had put out, both metaphorically and literally).

“We need to talk,” he said simply, tone barren and controlled. Rich masked the instinctive panic that promptly flooded the room at those words behind an amused quirked eyebrow.

“Intense opening line,” he commented, “8/10. Delivery could’ve been better.”

Jake’s purposeful intensity faltered just long enough for him to duck his head to hide his summertime smile. Rich, despite already sorting through all the worst-case scenarios—death, hatred, squips and secrets—did a small, mental fist pump. Having the newfound freedom to think his own thoughts without anyone there to criticize him besides his own subconscious meant spending an increasing amount of time dedicating himself to seeing Jake smile, watching him laugh, and feeling no shame at the way life seemed to return to every previously colorless corner of the room, the way his heart so hard he was convinced it was a destructive force rather than a romantic one.

“Shut up, I’m being serious.”

It’d been a minute, at least, and the halls were slowly emptying out of bystanders. Rich shifted back slightly, now free to be farther away from Jake without being trampled. Self-preservation kept him from creeping closer even as he shivered at the cold that slithered into the room at Jake’s distance.

Rich tried to keep his voice from trembling as he got out, “Okay, then. Talk to me.”

Jake shook his head and Rich frowned.

Rich felt dread, yes. Though it couldn’t have been past noon, a bluish-black dusk almost the same color as a bruise was swimming in his vision and dragging its sharp nails over every inch of exposed skin. Rich was restless in his desperation to get as far from this conversation as possible, a feeling so overwhelming he had to consciously talk himself down from an anxiety attack.

But where Rich’s anxiety manifested itself in his fidgeting fingers and tapping foot—something that wasn’t out of the ordinary for him, even a relatively calm Rich was a jittery Rich—Jake looked like he’d just watched tragedy strike an entire nation.

“Not here,” he muttered, so quiet Rich was convinced he didn’t want him to hear. “…Library? Or—”

“Library works,” Rich smiled, “We can watch horny freshmen make out in the back while we… break up? Platonically? I don’t know what you’re planning on.”

Jake didn’t seem to find Rich’s facetiousness amusing. He looked down at his shoes, seemingly deeply entertained by the intricacies of his poorly tied laces.

“Perfect,” he whispered, his voice taking on a customer-service tone he adopted when he knew his natural voice would be on the verge of breaking. Rich couldn’t even find it in him to summon another shitty joke.

Jake led Rich to the library briskly, ignoring the cafeteria completely while Rich cast a longing glance back at his lunch table, where all his friends were laughing without a care in the world.

Jake was facing straight ahead and a step ahead of Rich—his face was out of view, but Rich could hear the faint sound of him reciting a speech to himself, rehearsing whatever he was going to say to Rich in a moment. Rich strained to hear every—any—word, but all he got were empty shells of sorry and we can fix it.

“Okay,” Jake said as he pulled out Rich’s chair and sat across from him, his cane leaning against the table. They were sat in the back of the library by a window. Jake dropped his backpack on the ground next to him and unzipped it, pulling out a binder Rich had never seen before. Strange, considering Rich had sat through every pre-test, stress-induced haze while Jake paced the living room, reciting definitions from flashcards and making Rich read aloud passages from binders that only slightly resembled the one on the table between them.

Rich let out a tiny sigh of relief that he hoped wasn’t noticeable. So it was just a test or presentation—something important enough to Jake’s final grade that he was freaking out enough that he’d totally missed the mini-mental breakdown he’d caused Rich.

Jake took a deep breath. Rich leaned back, prepared and patient to listen as Jake first apologized for bothering him, then made Rich quickly skim the source material before quizzing him on every possible question or logic fallacy that would most surely never show up on a test intended for high schoolers. Rich wasn’t bothered when Jake’s expression changed from nervous to one of pure determination and cynical analysis—he was well accustomed to this version of Jake, one who compartmentalized until all the dark and scary feelings were just files to be sorted rather than genuine emotions to be processed. He’d get through it eventually, but only after he’d solved whatever problem he was facing.

“Physics?” Rich guessed. Jake looked up from his papers, barely aware of what Rich had said, his focus completely and utterly on the task at hand.

“What?”

“Physics? Is that what we’re studying?”

Another moment of awkward silence before Jake finally seemed to understand.

“Oh,” he said, “No. No, worse. Here.”

He passed Rich a paper—a timeline, starting December 3rd. Rich didn’t get the chance to read a single word before Jake shoved another paper into his hand, this one a calendar for this month—April. Then a list. A picture. A color-coded set of notes. A survey? Rich scrambled to organize himself as Jake shoved yet another paper into his hand, this one a printed-out, annotated article from one sketchy health website or another.

“Do you want a chance to review the material before I start, or can I just jump right in?”

Rich looked up helplessly from the April calendar and squeaked, “Huh?”

Jake studied him for a moment, gaze a stormy mix of expectancy and determination. Then, having come to a conclusion Rich wasn’t privy to, he said, “We’re going to start on page one.”

Rich blinked at him.

“Timeline,” Jake clarified, “The first paper I handed to you.”

Rich struggled through the pile of papers until he pulled the timeline out. He displayed it to Jake proudly only to be met with a nervous smile that quickly faded into a grimace.

“Alright,” Jake said, his voice quivering in a similar fashion to a guitar string—musically, beautifully. He clenched his paper to the point it crinkled. “As you can see, it starts December 3rd, the day I first visited you in the hospital, and ends yesterday.”

Rich’s eyes flit from the beginning to the end of the timeline to confirm Jake’s words. He nodded, unsure as to why Jake’s tidbit about the hospital was necessary.

“So upon first contact post-fire, we ignored the topic of the fire and simply discussed the play and Jeremy, correct?”

“Uh, yeah?”

“Good. And you didn’t apologize until the 8th, the next date marked on the timeline.”

Rich found the 8th, labeled ‘THE APOLOGY’ in all caps. Rich searched the words for a hidden meaning, praying it’d also be the birthday of some American president or treaty signing.

“I was, at first, resistant, but by the 11th I had come to forgive you. I visited again and we discussed possible steps forward.”

Unsurprisingly, the 11th was the next marked date. Rich swallowed a confused sob.

“Yeah, I know,” Rich said, the words tumbling out of his throat like his body was trying to purge him of a poison, “What the fuck?”

Jake continued without so much as looking up.

“On the 20th, you were released from the hospital. You, your brother, and I all spent Christmas at my apartment—purchased before the timeline began—over the 25th and into the 26th. Does that sound right to you?”

“Yes. Still kind of dark times, though, so if we could skip to—”

“You moved in on January 5th.”

Rich’s memory of that day lived serenely in the back of his mind to be summoned with perfect clarity whenever he felt unworthy or scared. It had been impulsive and dangerous—Rich had called Jake in the middle of the night, bruised and scared and exhausted. He’d come home from a six-hour shift on the verge of collapse, his burns itching and screaming, the lingering memory of the squip spouting deprecations at the way he winced with every step. He was unlucky enough to find his father still conscious in the living room, anger emanating off of him in waves of violence that manifested in thrown dishes and kicked over trashcans because where the fuck have you been?! You think you have any right to parade around with your rich friends while your family is stuck here?! You should’ve been—

The list was long. You should’ve been cleaning the dishes, making dinner, doing the laundry. He made it worse by crying.

He stayed kneeling in the kitchen long after his father passed out on the couch and, with shaking hands, because he didn’t want to cry anymore—he really, really didn’t want to cry—he called Jake.

Jake offered every cliche affirmation and more. You’re enough, you’re more than enough, I love you, you deserve better, you’re beautiful, you’re smart, I forgive you, I forgive you, I forgive you.

All the while, Jake was texting Michael. He still had his casts on—he couldn’t drive, and Michael told Rich later that he’d never seen someone manage to sound so panicked over text.

Less than twenty minutes later, Michael had snuck in the window. He cleaned the broken dishes, set the trashcan upright, and picked Rich up off the floor and dragged him kicking and screaming out of his father’s house.

“No, no, no, I can’t leave, he needs me, he needs me—”

Upon collapsing into Jake’s arms ten minutes later, Rich realized he needed to be loved a lot more than his dad needed him. He didn't go back.

“Yeah,” Rich breathed, “I remember.”

“January 15th: The first incident happens.”

“Incident?” Rich asked blankly, his mind still replaying the car ride from his father’s to Jake’s house.

“Yes. Any urges to kiss you or—or more, will be referred to using the term ‘incident,’ whereas more innocent urges—possibly wanting to go out on a date, or hold your hand, things along those lines—will be referred to using ‘episodes.’”

“Mhm,” Rich confirmed mindlessly. Jake’s words drifted up and around him much water falling off his face and body rather than sinking into his skin. It took Jake’s heavy gaze—staring expectantly, his lips parted, forming questions Rich couldn’t hear.

Wait. What?

“Go back,” Rich rushed out, back straightening. Hope hadn’t sunk in yet—he wasn’t quite there. Only confusion. “What the hell?”

Jake nodded once. He’d been expecting this reaction.

“Beginning January 7th, I developed a crush on you.”

Instead of turning to Jake, Rich turned to the papers for confirmation. He scoured the timeline for the words crush or love. All he got were incident #4 (#7, #9, #54, #78) and episode #7 (#15, #29, #156).

Shaky, he rushed to the next paper. A list of twenty entitled Modes for Moving On. The article from Healthline or Web MD: Psychologists Estimate Crushes become a True Love After Four Months.

“I’m sorry,” Jake whispered, his voice so simply scared Rich was convinced he must be hiding from a monster under the bed or the boogyman—a childish fear. “I didn’t mean to.”

“You—” Rich started. He distantly heard Jake make a strangled sound but was too lost in flashes of the past three and a half months. Jake, flinching away when Rich got too close—Rich blaming it on the fire. Jake going out with three different girls in a week with no sign of stopping until Brooke slapped him and told him to stop playing with people’s feelings. The way he’d listened to Brooke but had been staring at Rich the whole time, his shoulders hunched over as he tried to curl in on himself.

“I… I don’t understand,” Rich whispered, though of course, by now, understanding was settling in his spine and gripping his nervous system like it was the only thing tethering him to reality. Jake liked him. Jake liked him.

“I’m trying to fix it. That’s the point. The article—”

Jake was in such a blind rush to show Rich that he practically fell from his chair, kicking it back with a ferocity as he stood and winced, his legs unprepared for the sudden weight on them.

“Fuck—the article, four months, right? And—” he hastily re-situated his chair and stumbled over to Rich, his hands clumsily shuffling through the papers until he managed to shove the Healthline/Web MD article in Rich’s face.

“See! Four months! I’ve still got two weeks, right? I’m not in love with you. I’ve got—I’ve got a plan. I looked up a bunch of stuff on the internet on how to move on, and it all told me to like, avoid you and stuff, but I can’t do that, so instead I’m ‘loving myself’ and ‘working through lingering feelings’—just a bunch of weird self-care stuff, but I’m fucking desperate, I’ll—”

He straightened suddenly, struck with the realization he’d just been so close to the source of all his problems. His expression singed and pride marred, he backed up a step, posture erect and his faked smile tight. He shook out his hands and turned to the sky for a quick moment. When he finally spoke again, it was in the same presenter’s tone he’d been offering since the beginning. In control; calm. His acting was worse than it had been in the play. Rich could hear every bit of panic running under his tone.

“Following the ten-step plan outlined on page seven, these feelings should be resolved by the 13th, with two days of cushion time in case one or two steps are thwarted or interfered with. I thought it right to make you aware of, of my intentions. I do think it would be best if I—”

Rich did the only thing he could think of to stop Jake from talking. He threw the nearest highlighter at Jake’s face.

For a moment afterward, there was only silence. Jake’s eyes were crossed to try and see where he’d been hit, right below the nose, and Rich was so mortified by his own unfounded actions to even begin to apologize.

“…You could’ve just said you don’t feel the same,” Jake finally murmured. He looked like he was physically fighting melancholia from his face and trying to stuff it into one of his file cabinets. He failed, and he had to turn away so Rich couldn’t see. He appeared to be blinking back tears.

“Oh my god, you are so fucking dramatic.”

Jake pouted. Rich laughed delightedly and got up to take Jake’s hands in his own. Jake stayed staring at the floor.

“Next time, just tell me how you’re feeling, yeah? Would’ve saved a lot of trees.”

Jake sniffled.

“I like you," Rich grinned, "If you somehow missed that. For a lot more than four months, too.”

Finally, Jake looked at Rich, his expression open and hopeful, a smile comparable to everything springtime and flowery blooming on his face.

“Really?” he whispered.

“Yes, really.”

“Oh. Oh my god.”

“Yeah.”

Unable to stop himself any longer, Rich got up on his tippy toes, smiling softly, in an attempt to kiss Jake for the first time. His crush liked him back—

Jake jerked away, eyes wide and mortified.

“Oh my god.”

“What?”

“Oh my god, that was so fucking embarrassing. Oh my god. I literally told you when I fell in love with you. Oh my god. We’re not even dating.”

Rich tried to suppress his smile—just for Jake’s dignity—but a small laugh escaped him before he could stop himself. Jake’s face went from a rosy red to the color of wine. Rich wanted to kiss it off him.

“No, stop it," Jake said, "don’t say anything. This didn’t happen. Oh my god. Get out! Now!”

“What?” Rich said, his amusement so complete in essence he was sure Jake could feel it like a slap across the face, “Why?”

“Because!!!” Jake screeched, “I need to destroy all the evidence! Then I’m just going to ask you out like a normal person, Jesus fuck. No. I’m just going to ask Chloe to kill me. She’ll be glad to. Goodbye.”

Jake spun back to the table and, without organizing them in the slightest (something so un-Jake-like Rich seriously considered the possibility that this whole thing had been orchestrated by a clone), shoved the papers back into his backpack, uncaring that half of them were ripped or crinkled. When he turned back to Rich, it was like nothing had ever happened. He looked like he had that morning: happy in a Jake way. Almost like a golden retriever, ready to do whatever necessary to make the people around him smile. In control. Suave and nonchalant; a flirt.

Jake conjured a look of confusion onto his face.

“Dude, what the fuck, you didn’t tell me you were French.”

“What?! Dude—” Rich giggled into his hand, so delighted by the entire affair he couldn’t even really be confused by Jake’s sudden assumption that Rich was French, of all things, “—I’m not fucking French.”

“Really?” He squinted at Rich, “Because I could’ve sworn Eiffel for you.”

He flashed Rich a grin and a peace sign before swooping down like he was going to kiss Rich. He stopped last second, less than an inch away, and carefully cupped Rich’s jaw. Rich watched as the confident exterior Jake had managed to summon last second slipped into a pure, childish excitement. His breath caught for a moment, so utterly elated at the idea that he was this close to kissing Rich—

Rich tried to close the gap. Jake’s fingers dug into Rich’s jaw, something that could’ve quite possibly been considered violent had it come from anyone else, but Jake seemed so set on making sure Rich wasn’t hurt that the show of strength came off as affectionate rather than scary. Rich frowned.

“When you tell people how we got together,” Jake seethed. Though his humor had darkened into a bad boy character that suspiciously resembled the love interest of a romance movie he and Jake had watched together a week ago, it was offset by the fact Rich had seen the utter awe on his face a moment earlier. “You tell them about this, yeah? That—” with his free hand, he motioned vaguely to the table behind them. “—that never happened. I fed you a nice pickup line and you liked it. Understood?”

“Perfectly,” Rich said, his voice so quiet and seductive Jake was forced to pull away before he did something he’d regret.

Then, the second they arrived at their lunch table, “Jenna motherfucking Rolan, you will not believe what just happened—”

#jake dillinger #rich goranski #bmc #be more chill musical #richjake #romanceeee #sparkly star fanfic #it's like. so cute i'm not even judging it like i usually judge my writing #that right there? i'm sharing it for the concept #idc if it reads horribly it's ADORABLE #and something jake would do idc what u say #this reminds me actually one day i plan on drawing richjake fanart and posting it #and it's gonna be SO SO BAD #but i'm going to say i spent forever on it and worked so hard so any of my friends here are forced to pretend they like it #even tho it prolly took like two minutes #i'll do it on april first too #hashtag u got pranked bitch

42 notes · View notes

theabyssgazesalsointoyou · 1 year

Note

21. "Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy."

I can see Jake being a loveable dork now (or whoever!)

Here are 3 things about Jake Dillinger:

He's a hopeless romantic. He denies it, of course, but in what world is someone who calls his boyfriend 'darling' and 'sweetheart' and gets him flowers unprompted not a hopeless romantic?

He's a genius. Everyone knows that he's a straight As student, the president of the model UN and more, but it doesn't end there: notably, he speaks a frankly ridiculous number of languages.

But he's a bit scatterbrained when it comes to the smallest things. For instance: he has a habit of scribbling whatever's on his mind on random pieces of paper and leaving them strewn around.

To be more specific- these are 3 of the many, many things about Jake Dillinger that stand out to Rich Goranski as he sits cross-legged on his bed, trying to make sense of Jake's biology notes.

As much as Rich hates to admit it, he's lagging behind in class. Not because he relied on his squip for schoolwork, no. He never needed much help with that. It is, however, incredibly disorientating to have something that took up a significant portion of his mind suddenly removed. He always feels hazy, a consequence of the deafening silence of his brain and lack of electric currents puppeteering his body. With freedom comes responsibility. Or something like that.

Bur there's an even bigger problem, and it's that he's become prone to visits to the nurse. The fire left him with damaged lungs and panic attacks to go hand-in-hand with. That's what happened during biology the previous day, and Rich is determined not to fail biology, out of all things, so he swallowed his pride and asked Jake if he could see his notes. ("Yes, Jake, I'm fine. No, seriously, don't worry. I said don't worry! And you didn't answer my question, can I see your notes or no?")

So here he is, carefully flipping through pages of organ systems and enzymes and cell cycles, making sure the writing doesn't get smudged. Jake reluctantly left him alone to study in peace but not without making him a cup of chamomile tea. Between the fragrance filling the room and the little doodles Jake made on the corner of page 92, the Calvin cycle is the last thing on Rich's mind.

Jake's personality bleeds through his handwriting. Orderly and angular, all caps but in somewhat small print, somehow appearing tidy even when obviously rushed, like the sloppy slant of the string of letters has a purpose to it. It switches between actual annotations related to the class (aquatic CAM plants: limited carbon in water), idle commentary (tired. maybe i should skip chess) and tiny drawings (that one's probably a bird. Emphasis on probably.)

Some of the comments are in different languages. Mostly Spanish- while Spanish isn't Rich's strong suit, he can make out one or two snarky jabs at the teacher's teaching method and more detailed rants about extracurriculars. It's a simple cryptogram, then, though Rich isn't sure how effective it's supposed to be- Spanish is a widely spoken language.

Others are in French. He skims over those. All he knows in French is Je ne parle pas français and Je suis désolé, basically. Then, to his surprise, his eyes land on a more familiar language.

Rich's first reaction is to laugh. Latin. It's so cliché of Jake to speak Latin, the picture-perfect image of a rich boy from a stupidly prestigious background. Of course, Jake would hate to hear that, and Rich's laughter dies down, a twinge of guilt filling his lungs along with the scent of chamomile. Besides, it's not fair of him to laugh when he too knows the language.

Oh, god. And there it is, the wave of embarrassment flooding over him, because why does Richard Goranski know Latin? That's on his nerdy middle-school self.

Well, nerdy is a misleading adjective. That evokes the image of a studious child with an unusual interest in the classics. Sure, Rich liked classics enough (and still does), but the reason he taught himself Latin was simply because it seemed cool. The ominous demon-summoning chanting in movies and shit was infinitely appealing during his edgy phase.

Cringing slightly, Rich shakes himself from the memories and focuses on the words again, not willing to dwell any longer on middle school himself. He squints at the letters- oh, wow, his Latin's really rusty- and when the strokes of ink finally rearrange themselves into readable text, his heart twists and turns, too.

Poetry. It's poetry.

Lyrics leap from the paper and sink into his skin, invisible tattoos that he will cherish forever. 'My love's and 'you complete me's and 'I love you's, promises of love for forever and long-winded proclamations of Rich's beauty that has his skin burning. He's almost tempted to look away but his eyes are already on the next line, and the next, and the next.

It's cheesy, excessively romantic, amateur and incomplete. The handwriting falters with uncertainty, ink from the ballpoint pen clotting unevenly on cheap paper and drying at the end of each stroke, and verses are cut off by diagrams of plant cells and monotonous descriptions. But to Rich it could be the most flawless masterpiece worthy of being framed in gold and preserved for millennia to come.

Rich's heart is still beating in his ears as he traces his fingertips along each letter, wanting to soak it in but afraid to taint it. Ink and tea churns in his chest and heart-shaped leaves dance in his vision. He's only vaguely aware of the grin on his face, giddy with the discovery of this hidden side of Jake, seen only through flowery Latin on the margins of a biology textbook.

Sometimes, being a complete nerd comes in handy.

#orca answers #leave it to me to turn everything into richjake #idk what you learn in high school bio in the states. don't @ me. we cover this in high school here.#plus i didn't proofread or edit at all so if you see mistakes shh #but this was really fun!! thanks for the ask #bmc #be more chill #richjake #rich goranski #jake dillinger #the abyss writes back to you

31 notes · View notes

redandfranticfeelings · 5 years

Text

okay ive been wanting to make a post like this for a while but i wanted to make it an essay and i dont know if i can really organize my thoughts in that way yet, so here’s a chronological bullet-pointed dump to explain my very important thesis:

be more chill is about internalized ableism, and jeremy, michael, and christine are all highly autistic coded. this is going to be very long and detailed but only because there’s a lot of details that work very well under this lens.

there’s probably even stuff i missed but this is already extremely long so it basically just functions as a way for me to collect a bunch of details that i can piece together later in a more coherent manner.

“more than survive” in the context of jeremy being autistic works so much. the theme of wanting to be just socially acceptable enough to not burn out or be harassed is so relatable, and it visually establishes very early how jeremy is isolated from his peers due to his own awkward behavior and hypersensitivity. it’s coupled with his very obvious anxiety disorder, but the social aspect just screams autistic coding to me. i take this song to basically be “not having a meltdown is basically my goal but i would love to be neurotypical enough so i can heighten my standards and actually enjoy my social life.” some choice segments:

“if i’m not feeling weird or super strange, my life would be in utter disarray, cuz freaking out is my okay”

jeremy’s house being a mess is partly due to his dad’s serious depression, yeah, but i believe the other aspect is that jeremy’s executive dysfunction makes it just as hard to clean up in his place

he gets super anxious at the prospect of his expected routine being shaken up and having to make the decision on his own of how to get to school

“so i follow my own rules and i use them as my tools to stay alive” honestly sounds like a euphemism for autism to me

jeremy not really realizing that he’s staring at chloe

“avoiding any eye contact at all” explains itself

michael’s introduction, oh my god, every time i watch this part i just adore it. i could talk a lot more about michael’s autism later but this whole segment sells it especially.

first off, michael keeping his hood up and headphones on in a deliberate attempt to avoid social interaction and stay in his own space is such an autistic mood. even before this scene he’s constantly moving in the background to his music a la stimming. in the later performances he spends a lot more time playing with his hoodie strings and even chews on them!!

the fact he doesn’t talk to or even really look at jeremy until his song is done playing also feels very autistic to me! and the way he dances so confidently and basically pretends even his best friend isn’t there for the time being because he’s engrossed in his own passions.

michael is a great friend but it’s clear that he doesn’t really understand that his coping mechanism doesn’t really work for jeremy, and that even though michael feels confident reclaiming his identity as a ‘loser,’ jeremy doesn’t really feel any better about it. i think a lot of autistic folks, or at least i do, have this tendency to assume what works for us works for everyone around us at first due to our struggles with empathy. michael tries his best but struggles to see outside his point of view. it’s mind-blindness in action and jeremy can’t communicate why it upsets him any better than michael can pick up on it not working for him.

near the end of the song, they have a brief moment where all the ensemble crowds in around jeremy and the lights start flashing, which i interpret as a visual representation of sensory overload.

we’ll talk more about her soon, but outside of jeremy’s fantasies about her, christine also avoids social interaction during this number, constantly hiding her face in a book and avoiding eye contact just as much as jeremy. people forget that she’s not comfortable with unexpected social interaction, and that really informs my headcanon for her which brings us to....

“i love play rehearsal” is an autistic anthem. it also works, possibly even better due to in-text evidence, as an adhd anthem, but combined with the above it makes so much sense for her to be comorbid autism/adhd. i did a breakdown of the song in this context before, but i’ll sum it up here

the song showcases what having a special interest/hyperfixation is like. christine is singing to jeremy, yes, but she really seems so caught up in her own passion without much regard for how jeremy is following it, and even cuts him off from responding to her once or twice because she’s just so hyped up on her own feelings. she also basically implies her happiness is reliant on her special interest which is very relatable.

lines like “you follow a script so you know what comes next” also really sell the interpretation that christine isn’t good in unpredictable situations, and has so many identity issues and likes having something to look to where things are laid out for her. i think that stability is what a lot of autistic people look for, especially teenagers.

also with that in mind, look at how upset she gets watching a play she loves about get rewritten into something weird and new that she doesn’t know.

also gotta love how she still self-isolates before this song by focusing on her book, until she has a reason to infodump to jeremy. and then feels guilty afterwards and goes right back into her book while apologizing for getting “carried away”....biiiig mood there

the whole intro scene showcases both of their awkwardness so much. jeremy gets completely thrown off by her sarcastic comment about the swim team and almost believes it, which implies that he can’t read tone very well. and then christine’s “you’re a virgin” comment comes across like she really didn’t think about how that would sound to jeremy before saying it since she only made the clarification after he was ready to panic about it. she has a habit of speaking before she thinks, i think, the self-harm comment is also very awkward considering she barely knows jeremy.

after that scene we get “more than survive reprise” where jeremy admits to routinely having such bad breakdowns that he needs to step out and go to the nurse which works for both the anxiety disorder and the autism interpretation.

i’m not quite sure whether i see rich as autistic (i see him with a lot of mental issues for sure though) so i can’t say much on “the squip song” but there’s definitely something to describing a confused autistic kid as “almost helpless.” rich definitely has a habit of giving too much information though, i’ll say that.

“two player game” is just jeremy and michael being autistic solidarity: the song. i guess this is a good place to say that jeremy and michael work well as a contrast b/w two sides of autistic community, the side that struggles to function and desperately wants a change bc they’re afraid of being alone forever, and the side that tries to love all their symptoms and embrace their autistic pride. and as coincidental icing on the cake, jeremy wears blue (associated with the derogatory views from autism speaks) and michael wears red (associated with combating said views through autistic pride).

btw you could probably attribute michael’s ability to casually down a long-expired crystal pepsi as a sort of weird sensory quirk. and his fixation w/ that sort of memorabilia honestly feels like a special interest in its own right!

both “nice sideburns....wolverine, right” and “like in x-men????” using fiction as a reference point for real life always gives me autistic vibes (esp the first point where he awkwardly uses it to start conversation). can we assume x-men is a special interest? :3

jake referring to jeremy as a ‘freak’ when the squip turns on is really sad in this context but it also does make so much sense

now we get to the squip.....and what do you know, it uses tactics from abusive therapy used on autistic children. dare i say that “be more chill” as a song isn’t just an abuser’s song, but an ableist’s abuser’s song.

first off, the “spinal stimulation.” here’s a not so fun fact: electroshock therapy has been used to discourage autistic behavior in very recent years. (content warning in link for graphic description of ableist torture)

then the lyrics, in which the squip mostly focuses on jeremy’s posture and physically punishes him for disobeying. jeremy is shown to really struggle to stand up straight and pose himself in a normal, confident way, and i think that tendency to be unaware of what our body is doing is a pretty autistic thing?

the fact the squip singles out stammering and refers to jeremy’s “tics and fidgets” brings attention to two more autistic traits of jeremy’s

the squip basically punishes jeremy for responding “incorrectly” to social situations like rejecting brooke, even if they aren’t objectively wrong. it eventually just starts speaking for jeremy because jeremy seems incapable of acting natural. the squip is an abusive autism parent.

“sync up” demonstrates jeremy’s weird relationship with empathy. he wants to be nice to everyone- will has even called him “deeply empathetic”- but he’s initially really bad at seeing other people’s point of view, which is why he positions himself as sort of against the world, seeing everyone as better than him or trying to set up these barriers of Coolness where everyone else must be perfect compared to him. he’s so surprised to learn that the popular kids also hurt because of his strict idea of the social structure. it’s a combination of low self esteem and a black-and-white viewpoint.

let’s go back to christine. the squip, already established as ableist abuser, finds her “highly unusual” for acting in a way that disregards everyone who views her. she has very strange and specific visions in her head, and it seems very natural for her even if jeremy struggles to follow along.

in later performances, she chews on her sleeve and spins around during AGTIKBI. that’s stimming, babes. also gotta acknowledge “i don’t always relate to other people my age, except when i’m on the stage”

i’m gonna use this section to talk about jake and christine. christineis a bit unsure when interacting with jake, until he validates her interest- her acting is what really touches him. but jake, while good-hearted, has trouble being self-centered and thus not fully aware of christine’s own needs and space. so christine is always a little uncomfortable around him, especially in public, and not always willing to socialize. he is right about her being kind of stuck in her comfort zone, though, not doing anything off of her stage. and he is genuinely nice to her, it’s just a matter of their social strategies clashing.

the fact that the squip blocks out michael...i’ve had a lot of times in my life where i was told that socializing with other “weird” people would be counterproductive for my social development and it was part of why i was stuck with so few friends. so i really feel the idea that blocking out the person who helps you feel confident in your atypicality is framed as a good thing so you can act more socially adept, and that doing otherwise would just drag you both down.

hot DAMN does “loser geek whatever” make so much sense for an autistic kid with internalized ableism.

“it’s not only school that’s rough, being lonely’s stupid tough” makes it pretty clear this isn’t about the school social scene as muc as it is the entire social scene of the world. we may not see it, but it’s just (not) interacting with people in general that jeremy can’t stand.

“michael says that weird is rad but feeling weird just makes me sad” as stated above, makes a Lot More Sense with the idea that michael is both a more confident autistic and really bad at addressing jeremy’s own internalized ableism and desire to make connections outside his small friend group.

everything about jeremy boiling down all his problems to his “instincts” sucking and needing to basically be told what to do really highlights how autistic kids can feel broken because of their inability to fit into the social norm, to the point where we repress every behavior that actually makes us feel comfortable and unique.

not to mention the line about him being seen as a “normal handsome guy” since autistic people tend to be infantilized and never seen as desirable (will roland also implied this line has trans coding which is another discussion altogether but i feel i should acknowledge that here)

all of those terms that jeremy calls himself near the end- namely weirdo, misfit, oddball, freak, failure- all of this sounds like the shit people throw at autistic kids. like this goes beyond anxiety alone, this is jeremy being outcasted and oppressed by the general public due to his behavior. especially the “please don’t speak” part, considering how often autistic kids are mocked for misunderstanding when to speak, how to speak, and what to talk about. jeremy needs some freaking love. :(

“michael in the bathroom” is a panic attack, related to severe anxiety, but i do see a lot of aspects that play into autism as well. the little nervous stimmy movements of foot-bouncing and picking at grout, the explosive sensory overload during the “knock knock” section of the bridge, the whole concept of losing the only person you ever managed to connect to without sacrificing who you are, dealing with this massive change to your sense of philosophy and reality where you pinned everything on one person to ground yourself, and thus you’re now completely lost trying to isolate yourself from this big overwhelming social gathering...neurodivergent anthem all around.

jeremy and christine’s couch interactions during halloween give me such autistic positivity. christine basically echolales jeremy’s weird noise and they both have so much fun vocal stimming that they forget there’s another person in the room. it’s such a sweet moment until jeremy ruins it by realizing that asking her out right after a breakup is Not Really Good For Her.

christine’s reaction to the fire demonstrates a clear case of hyperempathy to me. it isn’t discussed as much as a complete lack of empathy, but autistic folks are prone to feeling way too much especially when it comes to others’ pain. christine talking about how she hates that everyone’s hurting and desperately wants to help but doesn’t know how, and how we’ve already seen how much she struggles to connect with others like jake....it’s a very relatable, very specific autistic mood.

going back to the theme of jeremy and empathy, christine’s above hyperempathy kind of breaks this mold, and while jeremy always does feel for the other kids, by this point he feels so strongly- particularly for christine, who he also saw as a perfect confident being until now- that the squip can manipulate him into “fixing” everyone the same way the squip was supposed to “fix” him. and he never considers that christine doesn’t need to be fixed because he just projects his own insecurity that strongly onto everyone else who seems “weird” in the same kind of way- hence why he assumes michael is jealous of him back in MITB. it’s likely a result of the squip’s manipulation but i feel like mind-blindness is a factor, even if jeremy switches between struggling to process others’ emotions and being extremely empathetic.

michael’s special interest saves the day!!! :D

the whole fight b/w jeremy and michael, assuming it comes from a genuine place of repressed bitterness, has a lot of added subtext with them both being autistic. jeremy accusing michael of “giving up” on social interaction, michael envies jeremy for trying bc michael is clearly Not comfortable in most large social settings, jeremy envies michael for his pride, it just hits home for me i guess

rich calling michael “antisocial headphones kid” honestly how is michael not canon autistic

in the off-bway version michael briefly speaks too loud forgetting that jeremy’s head still hurts which is a relatable Forgot About Boundaries thing. plus him smacking rich playfully forgetting that rich is Still In Pain

“voices in my head” works nice as a fuck-societal-norms-and-just-be-happy song. “embrace the traits that make you so odd” in particular :’)

jeremy remembering christine’s infodump about her obscure bowling alley performance art idea and bringing it up to her again!!!

the squip doesn’t go away because ableism and the anxiety it brings and all the upsetting symptoms of autism don’t go away, but with the right support and confidence you can live with them!!! good message for mental disorders in general and works very well in this context!!!

so in conclusion.....be more chill is autistic pride!!!

#be more chill #bmc #actuallyautistic #autistic headcanons #long post #be more neurodivergent #queue are so busted

278 notes · View notes

insanelycooljk · 4 years

Note

tell me about the bmc deh crossover!

send me the title of one of my deh wips and I’ll share an excerpt/tell you a bit about it

oh absolutely!!! I’ve got BIG plans for this one, so it’s going to take a while to finish, but I think it’s going to be worth it :)

The concept is very straight foward and I’m sure has been done many times before, but basically the bmc and deh kids go to same school, and the musicals respective storylines occur simultaneously.

Honestly I can’t tell you much about the actual plot yet because I’m still working it out, but the squip and connor project storylines will be very intertwined. The plan is for it to be very character-driven so I can tell you about the pre-existing relationships between the bmc and deh kids instead!

Jeremy and Jared

so I made a post about this a little while ago because I just can’t get the idea out of my head but, Jeremy and Jared have a very antagonistic relationship. I can’t explain why but I feel like Jeremy just... irrationally hates Jared. Like, he has no real reason to hate him, he doesn’t bully him or anything like Rich does, but Jeremy just doesn’t like him. It’s mostly because Jared’s shitty sense of humour and the asshole persona he puts on at school but yeah, Jere just doesn’t like him at all.

On that, Jeremy and Evan are kind of friends, and since Jeremy doesn’t like Jared’s sense of humour he definitely doesn’t like how he talks to Evan sometimes

Teachers always mix them up (wrol Jere rights baby!!) and it drives Jeremy crazy lmao

Also Jared is sort of friends with Rich so like... that understandably doesn’t sit well with Jeremy either

And Jeremy’s irrational hatred of Jared is like... extra funny because Jared is completely oblivious lmao. He barely even knows who Jeremy is.

Also, Jared is pretty friendly with Michael, and Jeremy doesn’t quite realise this yet but perhaps... he is jealous 😳

Jared and Rich

Rich and Jared is an interesing one. I mean, Jared is kind of a loser so originally after getting the SQUIP Rich bullied him too.

Except unlike Jeremy, Michael or Evan, Jared actually talks back to Rich and gives him shit too. We know Jared’s not particulary great at jokes under pressure (what are you, like...an acorn??), but he manages to be snarky enough/put up enough of a cocky front that Rich finds him funny and lays off him a bit

So whilst the SQUIP strongly discourages it, he ends up being sort of friends with Jared. Rich’s SQUIP actually kind of uses it as bribing material a little bit, it will let Rich keep being friends with Jared if he does X task the SQUIP wants him to do. That kind of thing :(

The bullying becomes more friendly teasing that goes both ways. Although sometimes Rich’s SQUIP will make him say some homophoic shit that really fucking hurts, but Jared just lets it slide. Partially because he’s still kind of scared of Rich, partially because he definitely doesn’t want to out himself, but mostly:

Jared’s realised that in addition to not being bullied by Rich himself anymore, his semi-friendship with Rich means Rich tends to leave Evan alone now. Which to Jared is definitely worth half-heartedly laughing at whatever hurtful shit Rich says in order to maintain the friendship.

Jared and Michael

Ok so I also said Jared and Michael are kind of friends.

They’ll become much closer later on in the fic when they can bond over their only friend ditching them for popularity/a chance to be with the girl they’re crushing on and are lowkey obssessed with

But at the beginning they’re not quite friends. They both do IT and they sit together in class, but they don’t really talk about much besides their work.

They do have a bit of a rivalry going on though. They’re the top two students in their IT class so they’re very competitive when it comes to tests/assignments/grades.

Also Jared can tend to be a bit of an attention seeker in class, so he’ll make a lot of stupid remarks and jokes that sometimes Michael can’t help but laugh at. He tries not to though because he doesn’t want to give Jared the satisfaction of knowing Michael thinks he’s funny.

And yeah competiveness/rivalry? Could definitely be interpretted as flirting so I can see why Jeremy might be jealous lmao

oh my god why does literally every character so far have some kind of rivalry with Jared ?? What it is about that boy that made my brain go “yeah all the bmc kids just lowkey wanna throw hands with him” ? idk but the idea is making me laugh. I love Jared but he does get on people’s nerves sometimes

Alana and Jenna

Now THIS is a friendship (or who knows, maybe something more??) I’m very excited about

Just think about it, both girls are actually so similar. They both feel invisible and lonely and like no one really cares about them. And unlike say Evan, who doesn’t really actually try to make other friends, both girls make SUCH an effort to be loud and be seen. Jenna with her gossip and Alana with her extremely bubbly and friendly persona.

I think it’s just a really interesting dynamic since they have very different personalities, but deep down they're both struggling with the same feelings of being invisible and unwanted.

Unlike the other relationships above, Alana and Jenna don’t actually have much of a pre-existing relationship. Mostly because Jenna is popular by association with Chloe/Brooke/Jake/Rich, and Alana is defintely not popular.

But, they grow closer working on The Connor Project together, which Jenna is going to play a big part in.

Jenna is the one who records Evan’s YWBF speech and helps it go viral. Alana then suggests they recruit her to join the project as their social media manager. Evan and Jared are freaking out because the last thing they need right now is for the project to go viral and risk the truth coming out, but eventually they see how much good the project is actually doing and realise that this is so much bigger than themselves now, so agree to let her on board.

Ok this is getting very long now lmao so I’m just gonna share a few more quick thoughts

A lot of people don’t like Alana because they find her very intense. Most people she tries to talk to (eg. Evan/Jared/Jeremy) don’t really engage with her, they’ll just make half-hearted conversation as if they’re just waiting for her to leave already. But one of the few people who is genuinely kind to her and actually listens and doesn’t just brush her off is Michael. So they’ve got a nice relationship. (Connor is one of the other people who is kind to Alana. Ooh also probably Christine too, because I can’t imagine her being anything but kind to anyone)

No one else really knows this, not even Jeremy, but Michael is actually quite affected by Connor’s death. They definitely weren’t friends, Michael honestly knew nothing about Connor, but sometimes if Michael’s having a bad day he likes to skip class and smoke behind the school. And often when he did he’d find Connor there too. They never talked much, mostly just sat in comfortable silence, but sometimes it was nice to just have someone else there. Michael doesn’t like sneaking out to smoke during school anymore because he really feels Connor’s absence. And he can’t help but wonder if anything would be different if he ever made a genuine effort to talk to Connor on those days.

Christine and Jared. That’s it, that’s all I have to say lmao. They’d have the same chaotic energy as post-SQUIP Rich and Jared. Jared’s parents have been bugging him about trying to join some clubs this year, or just do something that will look good on his college applications. Obviously later on that becomes The Connor Project, but at the start of the year he signs up to do tech for the school play. So, that’s how Jared and Christine meet. Jared being Jared does his best to push her away and avoid getting close, but this is Christine we’re talking about, she’s not gonna let that happen that easily. So, they end up becoming friends.

Alright I’m gonna stop this here or else this post will never end, but I’m definitely excited about eventually finishing this one!

4 notes · View notes