a mess of holy things (preview)
cw: (soft) dom/sub; mentions of god & church; nsfw
“You’ve ruined my spirit,” Steve giggles, dodging Eddie’s hand as it whips out to tap his cheek. “Defiled my soul!”
“Don’t say it like that,” Eddie laughs, snatching a pillow up and hitting Steve with it as Steve laughs, trying to catch it. “Like I’ve corrupted you.”
The word does something to Steve, who falters as he grabs the pillow from Eddie and hits him back. Eddie hides his face, laughing in that way he does, his nose scrunched, eyes squeezed shut. Steve looks at him, hesitating.
“...What if I’m… Like. Into that?”
Eddie looks at him, flicking his hair back and raising his eyebrows. Steve’s face flushes with embarrassment, but it fades after a moment when Eddie reaches for the pillow and tosses it aside, pushing Steve back against the armrest of the sofa gently, leaning over him.
“Well, in that case,” he says slyly, smoothly, leaning down to kiss Steve’s lips chastely. Steve’s chin tilts up, and his eyes flutter for a brief moment. He looks up to find Eddie gazing down at him, eyes shining, lips curved into a small, soft smile, and after another moment Eddie kisses him again, his hand lifting to hold the side of Steve’s face as their lips part. Steve reaches to hold his waist, fingers tightening on the fabric of his shirt.
They’re both panting when they part, lips wet, and Steve opens his eyes to look at him.
“You like that I fucked you up?” Eddie asks softly, and Steve squeezes his eyes shut for a moment, nodding.
“Yeah,” he says breathlessly. “Yes.”
Eddie smiles at him, caressing his face.
“I want…” Steve trails off, eyes trained on Eddie’s lips, his heart pounding. Eddie nudges their noses together, still smiling.
“What do you want, baby boy?” he whispers. “Tell me.”
“I…” Steve shifts, and Eddie lets him sit up, leaning back to sit across from him. Steve looks at the sofa between them, his fingers tangling anxiously. “I want…” He takes a short breath, closing his eyes as he exhales, finding his words.
“I wanna belong to you,” he says slowly, still looking down, “the way… the— the Church thinks I belong to them.” He pauses, biting his lip, cheeks hot. “That doesn’t make any sense,” he mutters almost to himself, but Eddie interrupts before he can apologize.
“That makes sense,” he says, his voice light, gentle and quiet. “...Look at me.”
Steve is helpless to obey, lifting his gaze to meet Eddie’s, throat suddenly tight, and Eddie’s expression is soft, head tilted. He reaches out to touch Steve’s cheek, running his fingertips down to his chin to lift it as he leans in to kiss him softly. Steve melts into it, shoulders slumping.
“You know you don’t have to be ashamed of what you want from me,” Eddie says gently, still holding Steve’s chin. “Right?”
“Yes, sir,” Steve says weakly. Eddie’s smile widens a little.
“Good boy,” he murmurs. “Now look at me,” he says more firmly. “And tell me what you want.”
His hand falls.
Steve’s eyes flick back and forth between Eddie’s, and he takes a deep, slow breath, pausing for a moment. His fingers are still tangled in his lap, and he wants to reach out and hold Eddie’s hand, but he can’t make himself reach out to him.
“I w—” His voice cuts off, and he looks away as he swallows nervously before he meets Eddie’s eyes again. He sees the brief shine of approval in Eddie’s expression, a slight smile and a nod. “I want you to… to remind me that I’m yours.”
He takes another breath, and Eddie waits.
“And no one else’s,” Steve adds, his voice soft and weak. “…Not even God’s.”
Eddie blinks at him, quiet.
Steve’s heart is beating so fast it might jump out of his chest, and he can’t really catch his breath, even when he inhales slowly and deeply, it’s like his lungs don’t quite fill all the way. After a moment he realizes Eddie’s eyes are shining like he might start crying, and Steve’s chest tightens even more, aching as he leans a little bit closer, longing to reach out and touch him.
Eddie beats him to it, hands raising to Steve’s face, holding his cheeks as he leans in and kisses him hard, their mouth crashing together as Steve gasps. It’s a lingering kiss, softening after a moment, and Steve finally touches him, lifting a hand to hold his wrist.
Eddie presses their foreheads together when they part, breathing hard, and then he lifts his head, looking at Steve. His eyes are still shiny.
“I want you to go to my room,” he says quietly, firmly, “and get naked. And I want you to wait for me. I’ll be there in a minute, okay?”
“Yes, sir,” Steve breathes, eyes falling to Eddie’s lips as his brain fuzzes. Eddie smiles softly, kissing him again before he lets his hands fall.
“Go on,” Eddie says, lifting his chin in the direction of the door, and Steve exhales, leaning in to kiss him one more time before he stands shakily and leaves the room.
His hands shake as he lifts his shirt over his head and folds it before setting it on Eddie’s desk chair. His chest still feels tight, but he can still feel Eddie’s lips on his, Eddie’s hands on his face, Eddie’s whispers ghosting over his skin. And it all makes him feel better. Makes him feel like God isn’t glaring down at him. Makes him feel right.
He shivers when he’s bare, making sure his clothes stay on the chair before he looks around the room, pausing, unsure of where he should wait. He eyes the bed for a moment; it’s made neatly, the blankets smooth, pillows organized, but after a second his gaze falls to the floor next to it.
He kneels.
The wood makes his knees ache, but he sighs in relief, closing his eyes, hands folding over his lap as he waits for Eddie. The skin of his thighs is warmer than his fingertips.
He opens his eyes when he hears the floor creak outside the bedroom door, a slight shift in weight, and Eddie is coming in, eyes trained on Steve. His hair is tied up now, and his sleeves are pushed up to reveal his inked forearms, and Steve feels his blood rush. Eddie closes the door behind himself like they need privacy from the rest of the apartment, and something about the way he does it makes Steve’s head feel too light for his neck. He exhales slowly, lifting his chin to look up at Eddie as he approaches him.
Eddie touches his face, holding his chin, sighing softly.
“Did so well waiting for me,” he murmurs.
“I like being good for you,” Steve says without thinking, his voice slow and sleepy. Eddie smiles down at him, and then he’s moving down to the floor, kneeling in front of Steve, their knees touching.
“I know,” he whispers. “‘S why you’re my good boy, right?” Steve is nodding before the last word is even out of Eddie’s mouth, and Eddie’s smile widens, his eyes sparkling. “Always so perfect,” he adds, murmuring, his hands touching Steve’s face. Steve’s eyes close.
They open when Eddie’s hands disappear from his face, desperately looking for him even though he’s right in front of him. Eddie is pulling off his flannel, eyes downcast, and his shirt rides up his stomach a little bit as he reaches up to set the flannel on the bed. Steve’s eyes get stuck there, gazing at the strip of pale skin, at the whisper of dark hair and the tiny bit of visible ink, and then Eddie’s shirt falls again, hiding it. Steve’s eyes fall to Eddie’s lap, to the bulge under his jeans. His face flushes with heat, with want and something he can’t name.
He swallows when he finally lifts his gaze to meet Eddie’s. Eddie is looking at him, half-smiling, and Steve feels even more bare than he is. He can’t hide the way Eddie is affecting him, not when he’s naked like this. And Eddie’s eyes keep scanning his body, sliding over his spotted skin like he wants to eat it. (Steve would let him probably. Eddie tends to make him feel a little crazy.) His eyes linger on Steve’s lap, and Steve’s cheeks burn with shame.
Eddie’s smile grows and he moves close. Reaches to touch Steve’s face with a feather-light touch that makes Steve close his eyes, makes him turn his face into Eddie’s hand. But Eddie’s hand doesn’t linger, slipping over his throat teasingly, over his neck, to the back of his head, where it buries itself in Steve’s hair and tightens. Steve’s breath catches in his throat as Eddie pulls gently. Steve’s vision blurs when he opens his eyes, looking at Eddie’s face longingly as Eddie leans closer.
His voice is quiet, dangerous, tender, when he whispers, his breath on Steve’s face.
“Do I tempt you, Steve Harrington?”
And Steve nods dumbly, eyes stuck on Eddie’s mouth, lips parted.
“Yes. I…” He shivers when Eddie traces a line over his jaw with his other hand, then a line on his cheek, connecting two moles that Steve knows are there, that he knows Eddie looks at a lot. “I want you.”
Eddie leans closer, and their lips brush, and Steve keens, closing his eyes as he aches with it, with the desire. It’s in his bones, hot and molten, making him melt against Eddie’s body, falling against his chest, and Steve knows his own heart is pounding, but now he knows Eddie’s is too, and he suppresses a smile when their lips brush again. Eddie’s fingers tighten in his hair. It hurts. But Steve just sighs, lifting his head into Eddie’s hand, and the next words that come from his throat are weak and breathy and fucking desperate.
“I need you.”
-----
Steve is from a small town; less than 3,000 people, and he's been lonely all his life. When he leaves for college, his parents warn him against the heathens of the rest of the world, but his eyes find someone interesting, someone his parents would hate, hide from, pray for. And Steve finds that he can't really bring himself to care what they'd think. As his faith fades, so does his loneliness, and something else takes their place.
permanent taglist: @estrellami-1 @theplantscientist <3
(comment to be added to permanent taglist or taglist for this specific fic when i start posting it)
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fuck it friday 🎄
tagged by @thewolvesof1998 💖
wasn't sure about posting this bc I don't wanna share like everything I have so far but it's fuck it friday so fuck it lol I'm too excited to keep it to myself haha - here's more of the christmas fic and the main idea behind it (I said it's gonna be mostly silly and fluffy and I promise it will be, just gotta add a little more sad while buck talks about his childhood lol)
prev snippet
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His eyes don’t leave the screen, while Eddie’s are glued to Buck’s face. “Well, there’s a lot of things I always wanted to do with my family on Christmas, but never got to.” his voice gets even quieter. “But there’s one thing in particular. I, uh, that’s so stupid.” he chuckles quietly, then nods to the screen, where a kid is opening a gift with a bright smile, his family surrounding him. “I wanted this.” he admits quietly, as if embarrassed. He never told Eddie much about his life growing up, but based on everything Eddie knows about his parents, he can imagine it wasn’t great. He never asked, not wanting to pry, but now Eddie wonders what Buck’s Christmas must’ve looked like, especially after Maddie moved out. He must’ve been miserable, and Eddie’s heart is breaking just at the thought.
“It’s not stupid to want a happy holiday with a loving family.” he says softly, carefully. Buck shakes his head, the red in his cheeks now visible despite the dark.
“I mean, that too, I- I never got this, and I always wished- but not just that.” another shake of his head. “I mean, the sweaters.” he mutters under his breath.
“Christmas sweaters?” Eddie asks, not sure if he heard right, just because of how quiet Buck said it.
“I know, it’s dumb. I just always imagined sitting around in matching sweaters, as a family, taking pictures, looking like we belong together, like I- like I belong.” he adds, turning his head away, so Eddie can’t see his face. Eddie reaches his hand further, touching Buck’s shoulder.
“They couldn’t give you matching Christmas sweaters?” he asks incredulously, fighting not to raise his voice.
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no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @gaydiaz @diazass @thebravebitch @silentxxsoul @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @arthursdent @diazblunt @911onabc @spagheddiediaz @housewifebuck @gayhoediaz @rogerzsteven @watchyourbuck @monsterrae1 @honestlydarkprincess @underwater-ninja-13 @eowon @weewootruck @loserdiaz @evanbegins @steadfastsaturnsrings @ladydorian05 @malewifediaz @pirrusstuff @theotherbuckley @911-on-abc @hoodie-buck @wildlife4life @fortheloveofbuddie @nmcggg @diazpatcher @jeeyuns @jesuisici33 @lover-of-mine @jamespearce9-1-1 @giddyupbuck @spotsandsocks @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @disasterbuckdiaz @buckaroosheart @hippolotamus @king-buckley
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