#BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS IF HE CANT PERFORM THIS SERVICE??????? I WISH TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[justanotherhh]

smthin about blitzø's romantic relationships defined by him as bodyguard, with fizz, with verosika, and with stolas. something about that being a part of his core, either as a negative (it's all about putting his body in front of theirs because he's the "less important" factor and it's the only real thing he feels has to offer alongside sex) or as a positive (he likes protecting others, he likes being of use, it's a good way of communicating how much he cares and he's good at it)

but yeah, that forming part of the foundations of those relationships from his side

#helluva boss #blitzø #blitzo #he'll protect all of his loved ones of course #but that's not what's needed for millie or moxxie or loona or barbie #bodyguard is a function that specifically relates to his romantic interests #ALSO AGAIN MY DESIRE FOR BLITZ!WHUMP #BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS IF HE CANT PERFORM THIS SERVICE??????? I WISH TO SEE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #my meta

[thotsforvillainrights]

~Perfect Birthday~

Au: Kaishi

Part: twelve

Theme: Fluff? Comedy? Who knows lol

(These 2 are going on an adventure)

"Buttercream? No that wont do. Vanilla with a touch of banana or Strawberry? Shoot! What about...hmmm...." You focused on the ingredients so hard that you were developing a light headache. Meanwhile, your husband sat across from you at the kitchen table, scrolling through his laptop for themes and present ideas. "Y/N, just settle on chocolate and call it a day." Kai announced while his eyes hovered on a Circus theme. He shuddered lightly at the thought of animals being involved. 'Absolutely not' he thought to himself. You sighed and put the ingredients list down. "I cant settle on Chocolate. I'm worried that someone might have an allergy to it. I'm also so worried about the vegan adults that might be here. What about the picky eaters too? Kai, I feel like I'm going insane right now." You gripped the sides of the chair you sat on. He peeked up at you and notices your incoming distress. He sighed and stood up to move behind you. He softly gripped each of your shoulders and began to give you an impromptu massage. "Stop worrying so much about it so much, Angel. Just do chocolate cake since its the brat's favorite flavor. We can go with a vegan cupcake option that should be safe for the people with chocolate allergies as well. As for the others, there will be other food and even beverage options. You're working so hard for people I dont even care about. This is all for my son and no one else but him. His happiness is my only concern."

You sighed and reached up to place a hand on your husband before turning to smile sweetly at him. "Kai, you're being sweet today." You teased him and he scoffed. "Anyway, I know you only want to focus on Kaishi but having other kids here for the first time, other than Ishida, is like his dream come true. It took me a lot of time to get on the parents good sides. It took a lot of time for them to want to bring other kids around Kaishi because if the yakuza affiliations. Had it not been for the fact that you've began working into charity for the city, I dont think anyone would've given us a chance. Bow we have parent friends, and now Kaishi has a chance for an amazing birthday this year. Let's not mess this up, okay? That means NO EXCESSIVE GERMAPHOBIA, and NO ANTISOCIAL BEHAVIOR okay?" You drilled it home at the end. He sighed in annoyance. "Ugh fine. I'll try to conversate with the other scum as if they never insulted the yakuza before. You had better be lucky I appreciate you and Kaishi at this point or this wouldn't be happening." Kai complained before pulling his medical mask down and kissing you lightly on your lips. "You two are being icky again. I'm going to tell Grandpa on you guys." Kaishi's voice brought you two back to reality. "Oh hush, and mind your business." Kai said as he ruffled his son's short hair playfully. Kaishi giggled and swatted the gloved hand away. He took a seat at the kitchen table next to Kai's laptop and peeked over to see what was on the screen. While you went to fix him some oatmeal, his father bolted to the seat and slapped the laptop closed. "No peeking. Havent you any manners?" Kai fussed lightly while Kaishi smiled. "Its okay daddy, I already know you two are planning my birthday for tomorrow." The boy said proudly. "That may be so, but it doesnt mean we cant at least surprise you with the decorations and food." Kai explained. You placed breakfast in front of Kaishi and sat down with your boys. Pops had just entered the kitchen at this point. "Family breakfast? Dont mind if I do." He smiled and took a seat next to you. "Grandpa, what will you give me for my birthday?" Kaishi asked excitedly. Kai flicked his cheek. "Dont be rude brat, respect your elders." He scolded him as Pops laughed. "Oh calm down, Chisaki my boy. My grandson is very calm at this age compared to how you used to act." Pops said with a smirk as you laughed and Kai blushed lightly with embarrassment. "Anyway, my Grandchild your gift will have to remain a surprise until tomorrow." Pops winked and Kaishi groaned. "Aw man. Well, mom/dad? What will you get me?" He turned to look at you in anticipation. You put a finger to your chin to think for a second. Then you snapped and made an 'Ah-Ha' expression. "I'm going to get you a fancy suit! Maybe I'll get some toys too. Just maybe, you'll have to wait and see." You teased him and he smiled. "Daddy, what about you?" He looked at Kai for an answer. "Just like Pops said, it will be a surprise. However, I'll take the time now to ask you what you want as a gift from all of us. It'll serve separately from the gifts we'll get you so dont worry." Kai watched his son expectantly as Kaishi searched his little mind. Seconds later he piped up excitedly:

"SMOOGLY!!!" He shouted happily and raised his arms dramatically in the air. You and Pops laughed while Kai tilted his head in confusion. "Smoo-what? Are you well? Are you speaking in tongues???" Kaishi giggled at his father's confusion. You turned towards Kai to explain. "Kai, Smoogly is a character from Kaishi's favorite show. He's this giant lollipop that dances and sings. Yknow, kids love that stuff." Kai stared at you for a second before nodding. Then he turned his attention back to Kaishi eating breakfast finally. "Alright then, you want Smoogly then that's what you'll get." After breakfast, Kaishi went to call Ishida on the phone. You monitored in awe, gushing as your baby talked to his little crush over the phone. The two were fast friends, and she was the first/only child in the class to accept and support Kaishi to the fullest degree. Meanwhile, Pops went to the backyard to water the flowers and feed the Koi in the pond. Kai headed out to the car to call Kurono/pick him up. "Chrono, I know I've given you the off day but I need a favor." Kai spoke on the car wireless phone while he drove. "Yeah man, what's up?" Hari answered from the other side. He was currently face deep in a 3rd bag of chips as he reclined on his sofa. "The brat's birthday is tomorrow and it's his first big one with other parents and children expected to be there. He wants some actor there to perform or something. Some thing called Smogie or Smothly or something like that."

"OHHHHH!!!! You're talking about Smoogly!" Hari shouted excitedly, his voice boomed over the car speakers. "Yeah whatever that mess is. Anyway, help me track him down and I'll give you tomorrow off to repay you from today. You can also have some leftover cake." Kai offered him. "Bet!" Kurono answered shortly before hanging up and getting ready. In moments Kai was at his door to retrieve him. The two men drove around for a bit while Kurono did some searching online. Lucky for him, it wasn't that hard to find Smoogly's booking information. "Found it, Kai. It says here that we can email and make a down payment, or call the home offices for a response in about...14 days." Kai almost slammed on the breaks. "14 days??? No that's not possible for a booking that could be denied. My Kaishi's birthday is tomorrow. We need to get this Smoogly there as soon as possible." He felt a bit of panic set in. Kai would never forgive himself if he couldn't get his son's biggest wish for his birthday. "Hey man chill. We'll just go to his office and speak to him directly. I mean, we've got a little pull when it comes to money. Also, we're yakuza so..."

"I know what you're thinking Chrono, and the answer is no. We cant push too many buttons or we'll end up leaving the gray area in which we operate in. I cant afford to get arrested on Kaishi's birthday." Hari rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Whatever man. Just take a left onto the main freeway and we should reach the exit in like 30 minutes. After that, we just follow the main road for 4 more minutes, take a right at the stop light, and turn off the Broadway drive. Smoogly's office should be right between a steak restaurant and a car dealership." Hari explained the directions. Kai nodded and the two were on their way. Once they made it to the offices, they took a number and sat in the waiting room. The wait wasnt uncomfortable to Kai...it was the old man across from them that kept coughing that made him uncomfortable. He felt hives pop up on his arms. Luckily the two were called before he went insane! Only minutes later they were standing before a chubby man smoking a cigarette behind a desk. He had dark hair, and was balding right in the middle of his head. His skin was just a step away from being super pale (no doubt because he had the costume on a lot) His noticable feature was the large mole on his cheek. He was clearly a foreigner from some city somewhere, thanks to his accent.

(!!!Reader, think about Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force!!!)

"Alright, what can I do for you two men? Wait a minute, you two are the tax guys right?"

"Uhhh, no. No we're here to inquire about an opening to hire you? The pay will of course be-"

"Yeah yeah yeah. Pay doubled blah blah. I've heard this a million times before. I get bastards like you that come in here every single day asking to pay extra just so I can come to your event. The moms are even worse since they also think they're entitled to my services." The chubby man interrupted Kai. "Please. It's my son's birthday. You see, this birthday is special because he's never had-"

"Pshhh...yeah buster, you're kid is special. Just like everyone else that's come in here before you to say the same thing. Bottom line is that I ain't doing it. If you want my services than file through email or take it up with the front desk. Deposits non-refundable if you get denied. Have a nice day." He put out the cigarette and picked up a rather inappropriate nude magazine. Kai looked at Chrono and sighed as if to say Hari can take over. Hari smiled darkly and went to approach the desk. The chubby man hadn't looked up from the magazine as he spoke. "Look man, I said piss off. What, you didnt get the picture the first time or-" he immediately froze and turned his attention to Hari when he heard the click of the gun. When he turned, he was staring down the glock.

Hari spoke up darkly. "Hey buddy, I'm a changed man but that doesn't mean shit is sweet. I've killed a dozen people before and I'm not afraid to go to prison. Either you do my nephews birthday party tomorrow, or we wear your face on a memorial T-Shirt. Fuck is it gonna be? Eh???" The man gulped and shakily reached his finger out to the voice machine on his desk. "Deborah cancel all my appointments tomorrow, I've got a birthday to go do." Hari and Kai smiled when they heard the voice reply 'Right away, sir.' They bid the man goodbye and left the office. The next day, Kaishi rushed to the backyard after taking a quick shower and getting ready. It was decorated beautifully with bounce houses, a splash area, party games, an extensive food/present table, swings, slides, etc. Most importantly, the parents actually showed up with their kids. Kaishi almost cried tears of happiness when he finally had friends to play with. Meanwhile, you and Pops chatted with the other parents until Smoogly arrived to perform. The kids absolutely loved every bit! Every once in a while, the Lollipop turned to look at Kurono standing in the corner, smirking menacingly and daring him to slip up just once. Smoogly quickly turned around and kept performing. At the end of his shift, he was paid extra just as Kai promised, and Kaishi got to take a picture with him. Finally it came time for presents. Kaishi was happy to receive so many gifts, but he was more eager to get his gifts from you, Kai, and Pops (even Hari got him a secret gift at the last minute). Kaishi smiled at the wooden box Pops had given him. When he opened it, it revealed a small pin on a soft cushion. It was shiny and brand new. It was the symbol of the Hassaikai, the infamous flower design. "My grandson, when your father was younger I had given him this very same gift. Please be sure to take good care of it." He gently placed a hand on Kaishi's head. The boy nodded excitedly and passed the box for you to hold while he opened up the remaining gifts. It was a surprise jacket from you to him. It was just a smaller version of Kai's jacket! Plus that suit you promised, and a few other Smoogly themed toys as well. From Hari, he recieved a new helmet for his new bike. Finally from Kai he received a matching mask. With the suit and the jacket, he was the matching embodiment of his very on father (aside from inheriting some of your skin tone depending on your color, my dear reader).

This was truly the perfect birthday.

»—————————–———————————————————–✄

TIp Jar: https://cash.app/$YuTakeyama

#kaishi au #Kaishi #au #kai chisaki #chisaki kai #overhaul #mha overhaul #bnha overhaul #my hero academia overhaul #bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #yakuza #shie hassaikai #kurono hari #hari kurono #bnha chronostasis #chronostasis #chrono

[murkrees]

older brother! nct (hyung line)

Taeil

okay so

let me start with taeil

cute floofy taeil okay

taeil just gives off these warm brotherly vibes u know???

like honestly you were b l e s s e d to have moon taeil as ur bro

ever since childhood he’d just be so naturally protective over you like

it wouldn’t be overprotectiveness like a certain someone (ty track cOUGH) but it would just be so subtle

as in if you both would be on the bus he would give you the seat closer to the window and stand up while keeping an eye out for anybody who even tried to touch you the wrong way

would be the best if you needed help with your homework

didn’t understand an equation? mOON TAEIL AT YOUR SERVICE

if u ever brought friends over and he would accidentally walk out with his bed hair, oversized tee and boxers

happens way too many times is2g

he’d just stop in his tracks and stare at you all with a blush on his cheeks before whirling around on his heel and walking back to his room without a word

hES SO AWKWARD ITS PRECIOUS AAA

he wouldn’t be the type to glare daggers at a guy you brought over

he’d just stare at him while trying to calm himself down and gulp nervously, eyes shaking like they were in nct life paju during yaja time

he’d clear his throat so much and ask so many weird questions

"so how long have you been dating my sibling”

"around two months?”

"uhh, that’s great, congratulations”

he wouldn’t be super aggressive w you than he would be with the other nct members

but during christmas don’t expect him to be above shoving you outta the way to get to the presents first

moon taeil is precious protect him

Johnny

JOHNNY

MY MAN

u guys would be sibling goals af ngl

would always back down in fights cause he hated fighting w u

always always always ruffles your hair

can get aggressive sometimes but its okay you get aggressive back

would be ur no.1 supporter

have an show at school??? expect him to have front row seats while holding a handycam in his hand, cheering the loudest 4 u

fundraiser????? he’ll be standing by your booth and persuading everyone to buy your cupcakes cause let’s be real this boy has looks and enough smooth talk to churn butter

going on a date to a fancy restaurant? it’s johnny’s fashion evaluation

"wear the red dress we bought two months ago and use the pearl earrings mom gave you for your birthday”

"what are those heeeeels use the other pair woman!!! ur legs will look better”

wouldn’t be the overprotective type if you brought a guy/girl over

would try to get along as well as he could w him/her to make you comfortable

he always puts you first and makes sure you know that

Taeyong

lee taeyong!!!

real sweetheart

would b so overprotective of u and he wouldn’t even realize

if u brought a guy over he’d just make up random excuses to tail you around and “supervise”

cough cough glare at him the whole time

but halfway through he’d just kinda snap back to reality and realize how he’d been acting

and just kind of tone it down a little

ngl your friends would love going over to your house because of him lmao

you guys would just have that kind of relationship where you just completely understand and count on each other

like if you had a nightmare you’d just knock on his room door and peek in and he’s writing lyrics with only his desk lamp on

and he looks up at you with bed hair and home clothes and he sees your face

you guys don’t even exchange words before he understands you had a nightmare and you just trudge over and flop on his bed and fall asleep there as he continues to write lyrics

or if he had a particularly stressful day and he’d come home looking like shit

you’d just bring out the pillows and blankets and lay them out on the sofa with two tubs of ice cream with your favorite flavors

and he’d just plop down next to you and you’d just listen to him vent

honestly taeyong wouldn’t even be in the position he was in now if it weren’t for you

sibling support 100000000%

Yuta

this boi

probably made you cry a lot during your childhood lbr

there’d be times where he’d tease you for your pigtails

“mooooom yuta’s teasing me again!!!”

“moooooooooooooooom yuta’s teasing me again!!!!!!!!!!” (yuta’s imitation of your voice)

but as you both grew up he matured and so did u

of course there’d still be times where he’d tease you but they’d be more playful and less intense

“what are you going on, a date? who’s the unlucky guy stupid enough to go on a date with you”

“funny because the last time i checked he was in that idol group of yours”

cue yuta choking on his spit

there’d be times where you’d be cooped up in your room studying for exams

and he’d knock on your room door licking a stick of ice cream and handing another one to you while asking if you needed a break of a ride to the nearest café/starbucks for a change of scenery

or times where he’d be in a pissy mood and you made sure to give him space to cool down

but u do knock on his door and tell him quietly that you have a plate of his favorite food in the microwave

and he never answers but by the morning the plate would already be washed

brags abt u a lot to the other members (not that you would know that)

tbh i honestly think he’d be even more protective than taeyong

wouldn’t be above threatening your boyfriend if they ever hurt you

if u ever come home crying he’d go ballistic

“tELL ME WHO THE HELL I NEED TO BEAT UP ONLY I CAN MAKE MY SISTER CRY”

secretly a big softie for you no lie

Kun

the nicest older brother to ever exist

the most understanding person you’ve ever met

treats you to food all the time

never allows you to pay after

“what kind of older brother would i be if i cant even treat you for a meal??”

you go to him for advice,, like,, all the time

a great listener

went home crying after some school drama? better expect kun already there with some ice cream and blankets ready to listen to your latest emotional rollercoaster

your parents could always trust him to take care of you if they had dates or had to go out so you never had babysitters

all your friends wish they had kun as their older brother

(pretty sure some of them had crushes on him, but i mean,,,, who wouldn’t)

can be savage if he wants to but only if you poke fun at him

doesn’t look like it but can be quite playful

sometimes you’d tease him and he’d just look at you with that done-ass face

drives you everywhere!!! even accompanies you to the mall or to do some shopping

actually so touched the first time you bought him a meal with your own money

“my baby’s growing up…” sniff

“shut up this is literally a two dollar street snack”

in his eyes you’re still a little kid

love older brother kun thanks

Doyoung

ngl he’d be the type to not know how to act around you when you both were young??

“what do you want for your christmas present?? what do girls ur age like??? what do children like keep me up to date what are fedgeet speeners”

only comes out of his room to grab some food

as you both grew older he’d be more comfortable around you

before performances he would send you selcas of him to ease his preperformance nerves

tons of selcas his gallery would be filled with them tbh

“whos ur favorite brother”

“obviously me ahaha who am i kidding”

“its not gongmyung right”

“right???”

“(y/n) pls answer me”

always remembers to buy you random trinkets from his tours abroad bcs he knows how much u love them

u always go to him when you need help with your schoolwork or study but always roasts you about your grades

“what do you mean you don’t understand trigonometry its literally the easiest thing in the book”

his savage side always shows up whenever u two hang out together

“oh u like that necklace? buy it urself”

ends up buying that necklace for u anyway

showers u with gifts cause he doesn’t know how to show his affection otherwise

nags u a lot but that’s because he lovs u

(and bcos ur a mess)

“you ate dinner right?? im not accepting a ‘yes’ if you ate instant ramyeon”

“i don’t care if you have finals you are bathing at least once a day ya stinkie”

“wash those dishes piling up in your sink (y/n) gross”

be grateful for older brother doyoung keeping you in check

Ten

oof

you know he’s that one bitch

one of the most annoying™ people you’ve known growing up

kind of distant to you while you were teens because of how hectic his life is

still doesn’t exempt his love for teasing you though

i mean,,, have you seen that one picture of ten casually taking a selfie as his mom scolds his sister right beside him,,, yeah

probably the type to wake you up saying you were late for school just to record you running around the house like a madman and going out the door just to realize its 4 am on a saturday

but you grew up watching his antics so you knew what not to do when you got older

as the both of you shifted to adulthood you got closer

ended up as you taking care of him and making sure he doesn’t accidentally get in trouble most of the time

still teases you playfully though

“no ten the market is this way jesus christ get off your phone”

“oho so you do care! if you care about me that much why don’t you pay for our meal—”

“go choke”

being ten’s sibling automatically makes you friends with johnny no ifs ors buts

ten brought him along to one of your hangout sessions without telling you beforehand and now he’s just,,, there

you don’t even bat an eye at him anymore

or the other members he brings along

probably tried to set you up with johnny more than once but the both of you have already caught on and are just playing along to amuse him

automatically makes you good friends with lisa too

lowkey doesn’t want to introduce bambam to you oops

is so subtly protective of you but lbr who could get intimidated by his 169 cm ass

like that time he caught jaemin glancing your way for a tad bit too long and he just gave him the look™

never likes the guys you hang out with

“that kind of guy doesn’t deserve you (y/n),,, you need someone gentlemanly, someone nice and tall like johnny-“

“if you like him that much why don’t you date him instead”

you may have grown up but in his eyes you’re still that little girl with pigtails he used to pull

older sibling ten is annoying but you love him anyway

Jaehyun

jaehyoOons

growing up with such an attractive brother was both a blessing and a curse

sure he was attractive and that itself was a plus point but then you had to deal with all the fakies that came at you just to get closer to your dorky older brother

not to mention the countless times he accompanied you somewhere or picked you up from school and heads would just turn

it got annoying at times but then you got used to it

now you just enjoy the perks of having such an attractive brother because honestly, who wouldn’t

not to mention good lucks are hereditary lucky you ;)))

good brother,, always follows your parents instructions so if anybody ever got in trouble it was you

if you were up to mischief and he found out he always covered for you,,, no exceptions even if he didn’t approve of whatever you were doing

the little sneak got good at lying from all the times he covered for you

always ALWAYS always there to comfort you whenever you had a bad day or if you were crying

not necessarily protective but still ready to give a little “warning” to whoever messes with you

talked to you a lot ever since you were children

by a lot i mean a lot

because he’s pretty shy at school when he was younger he makes up for it by discussing alien conspiracy theories with you

now that he’s opened up more it doesn’t mean that you both don’t enjoy a good conversation about whether or not mars had living beings

whenever you both had meals together or dinner with the family there wasn’t a moment where he didn’t steal your food

“food tastes the best when it’s on another person’s plate”

rly sneaky about it but you always notice

gets angry at you if you don’t take care of yourself properly

like the time he ignored all your messages and calls for two whole days cause he found out you consecutively skipped lunch and dinner

makes sure you have your priorities straight

older brother! jae is amazing lucky you

Winwin

whatta weirdo

ever since you were children he’s always been an oddball

clings to you wherever you go

even though he’s older than you sometimes it feels like you’re the older one who has to take care of him

honestly if it weren’t for you he probably wouldn’t have survived the first 15 years of his life

not to mention the multiple times you had to guide him whenever you were in malls or in a crowded marketplace just to make sure he doesn’t get lost or distracted

would fool around with you during family gatherings

inside jokes are a thing no ifs buts ors

whenever something reminds you of that inside joke you’d just look at each other from the other side of the room and make eye contact before smirking

all your other siblings are so done with you two,,, especially your parents

like the time the both of you attempted to bake a cake for fun and eggs ended up on the ceiling

don’t ask

it took all your willpower to stop winwin from burning the place down

when you guys finished you were covered in all sorts of ingredients and spend 15 minutes laughing about it

but you got closer thanks to that!!

even though winwin should not be allowed in the kitchen or near a stove anymore sometimes when you two hang out and want to reminisce you just start baking

always ends up in a mess but you two have fun anyway

as you two grew up there wouldn’t be much that changed

he texts you random korean words or phrases just to show you how much he’s been improving

actually convinced you to take up learning korean too

you would call him and talk to him in korean to practice and he would cheer you on or correct you if you got any words wrong

lowkey doesn’t want you to meet any of the nct members except for renjun lmao

would probably try to set you up with renjun,,,, but ended up as you two being rly good friends so it was a win/win situation ha ha

has actually had to fight yuta to make sure he did not get your number

“but if winwin is this cute then how cute could his sibling be??? come on pls”

you know all his embarrassing secrets,,, and always made sure to bring it up whenever he has members over

he would whine for you to be quiet about it and stop

older sibling! winwin is too lovable u are blessed

Jungwoo

s o f t

literally the best older brother you could ask for

took care of you so much when you were children

basically coddled you

fell down in the playground and scraped your knee? expect older brother jungwoo to run around finding a bandaid before putting it on your knee as he told you to be more careful

forgot lunch? jungwoo will 420 blaze it to your classroom and hand over his lunch saying that he’ll steal some food off of his friends

had arguments with you whether or not cow was spelt with a c or a k

someone made you cry? the moment you entered the house you’d just hug him and cry to his sweater

he’d just hug you back and tell you it’s okay while caressing your head

older brother jungwoo is soFT

he probably wouldn’t change as you got older

still coddled you nonstop 24/7/365

“its going to rain today don’t forget to bring your umbrella”

“yes mom”

soccer nights are a thing and tradition to never forget or break

you always wanting to meet nct and jungwoo chuckling nervously

“(y/n),,,, im not sure that’s a very good idea,,,”

you teasing him playfully

“I saw that new meme on instagram about you,,, can you try saying ‘skorret’ again”

“dO YoU havE JunGwOOiTis?”

“(y/n) pls stop”

“you know the general public and your members seem to have the image that you’re real soft i wonder if they know about the time where you-“

“ssssssshhhhhh”

but all is good because jungwoo loves you!! and you love him back don’t forget that

#nct #nctwriters #neo culture technology #nct au #kpop au #kpop #nct scenarios #nct imagines #bullet list #bullet points #kpop bullet list #moon taeil #taeil #lee taeyong #taeyong #seo youngho #youngho #seo johnny #johnny #nakamoto yuta #yuta #qian kun #kun #kim dongyoung #dongyoung #doyoung #ten chittaphon leechaiyapornkul #ten #jung yoonoh #jung jaehyun

[glowloading346]

Phpstorm Slow

Once upon a time, PhpStorm was the IDE I loved. I thought I would use it all my life, happily without looking at any other editor.

Phpstorm Slow Cooker

Phpstorm Slow Ftp

Phpstorm Show Main Menu

Phpstorm Slow Startup

I was wrong.

I discovered the true love of my live, called Vim.

Are you confused? Are you yelling “why” to the deaf sky? What happened between PhpStorm and me? Why a PHP developer would use this… old smelly thing called Vim?

Phpstorm does a very good job of saving, importing, exporting settings so upgrading your Phpstorm version doesn't require you to redo all your settings. This is also beneficial if you are setting up Phpstorm on another computer or sharing your company coding style guide with other developers. Now you will be working with the terminal - you can use Window's cmd or the PHPStorm's terminal. I prefer to use the terminal built inside the PHPStorm - it is: better, faster and more intuitive. I prefer to use the terminal built inside the PHPStorm - it is: better, faster and more intuitive.

I was happy with PhpStorm. We had a productive relationship. Its basic rules was simple, as simple as many text editor in the computing world. You use a mouse, you click where you want to change or add something, somewhere. The basic editor. We are all used to that from the beginning of times!

PhpStorm provides the following main ways to upload project files and folders to deployment servers: Manually, at any time through a menu command. Automatically, every time a file is updated, or before starting a debugging session, or during a commit to your version control system. PHPStorm was and now is very slow under Linux (currently am using version 2016.2). All its versions were slow. Even at powerful computers with SSD. Jamming and sticking is a normal behavior for this program. It's a pity that authors do not pay attention to it. Running PHP storm on windows 10 is incredible slow. I'm running PHPstorm on my windows 10 laptop, where it is extremly slow. I made a screenshot showing the about information. I have a 64bit so I'm correct running phpstorm64.exe for this. During work I'm also using phpstorm on an.unix system, which is great. So I thought about buying a private license for me at home, but with the given performance I really cant work.

I loved the auto completion with PhpStorm! I loved the fact that you could find easily a peculiar file even within a massive codebase. I loved its stability. I liked the snippets. I loved its numerous options to refactor, generate getter / properties / methods using one or two handy shortcuts.

And now, I don’t use it anymore.

Firstly, I want to tell you my story with Vim and PhpStorm in order for you to understand how you can switch between the two.

Then I will compare the two and underline what Vim brings on the table.

Vim: the Hate before the Love

It was a newcomer who first showed me Vim.

He was a PHP developer hired in the company I was working for. I was curious, I began to look what tools and IDE he was using, expecting seeing the good old PhpStorm, like every good PHP developer who suffered too much with Eclipse.

“I don’t use PhpStorm” said the newcomer. “Vim is way better!”.

Vim! This dinosaur! This boring terminal editor! So complex nobody knows how to use it, except the perfect nerd without life / girlfriend / whatever real things!How can he compares the wonderful shiny PhpStorm with this relic?

At that point, I went in a crusade. I tried to show him how a good IDE with tons of features could suit his needs even better than this… Vim thing! Without success, I let him swimming in his ocean of mistakes, sad he couldn’t see the Truth as I was.

Time past. Days became years. Years became centuries. I began to understand that this newcomer was a very interested and knowledgeable developer. It astonished me. How can he be that good and use Vim?

Quickly we began to work on the same project: a tandem was born.

The Time of Mockeries

I mocked my work tandem. A lot. He was persisting in his mistake to use Vim and I couldn’t do anything to dissuade him.

I mocked the austerity of Vim’s interface. I mocked the fact that he had to configure everything in config files. I mocked that this configuration (in my opinion) was always broken. Who wants to code with a broken IDE? It was pure nonsense.

With hindsight, I may have been a bit jealous. He mastered a tool full of shortcuts in order to use the mouse as less as he can, and, without knowing it, I envied him.I envied him because I didn’t feel capable to learn how to use Vim in a reasonable amount of time.

More and more, my contempt toward Vim let place to curiosity.

PhpStorm and Me: the Breakdown

My attraction and curiosity toward Vim kept growing and growing.

The hate became love when I decided two things:

Quitting the company I was working in.

Learning to type like true crazy typists.

I wasn’t happy at that time, till I decided to quit the company I was working for. My decision opened new horizons and a true desire to learn more about everything.Moreover, I wanted to learn a maximum from my fellow work tandem before leaving for new and crazy adventures.

I wanted at the same moment to get rid of my very bad habit of typing with two or three fingers. I wanted to use typists techniques: using the home row keys and my ten fingers.

Quickly I began to understand the power of this typing method. You feel definitely faster and more in control of your computer. A very cool sensation!I knew as well that Vim was designed for this type of typing. Due to the pleasure I had with my new typing techniques, I slowly decided to give Vim a chance.

More and more, I asked tips to my tandem in order to learn how to use The Beast. At first, I just wanted to use it for editing configuration or text files, not for actually coding, too afraid that it would put down my productivity.

I stopped using PhpStorm in two weeks. Transfer from bitpay to coinbase.

Vim vs PhpStorm

Vim on the left, PhpStorm on the right. The clash.

Here we are finally: the comparison between PhpStorm and Vim. Do you want to replace PhpStorm with something more powerful and versatile? Do you want to be sure that Vim is the good choice?

I won’t cover here how to do a PHP IDE out of Vim since I wrote another article on the topic.

Who’s in Charge: You or Your IDE?

An IDE is obviously very important for developers. It’s the tool which helps us doing what we like: coding. It simplifies our lives, automatize all these boring stuff you repeat over and over again.

Therefore your IDE should reflect the way you are coding. It should give you the choice for you to do what you want, the way you want.

PhpStorm doesn’t really give you many choices: it is a bunch of tools and you have to stick with them.I never used 70% of it. I know a lot of shortcuts and I am able to navigates in the panels without even using the mouse. However I never used the composer tools / terminal / git GUI / database interface thingy integrated in PhpStorm.

I couldn’t configure that. I couldn’t choose to install what I wanted, what I needed. PhpStorm was choosing for me.

The result? Many panels and notifications popping, a lot of visual noise which was totally useless for me. Perfect to lose focus.

Some may argue that PhpStorm is really configurable compared to other IDE. It is nothing compared to Vim.

Vim has a great community who develop a LOT of plugin. Nowadays you can install them and get rid of them by typing two words. Not even command lines. Words.

You can choose exactly what you want and what suits you. You can even modify it easily and extends it. Vim can be bent following your wishes.

You are the master.

PhpStorm Only Allow You to Code in… PHP

Another point which was bothering me for a long time. Of course you can use it to write HTML / CSS but you won’t have many tools for those. And what about Go you want to learn so hardly? Ruby? Basic?

Vim is an editor, not an IDE, but you can make an IDE out of it for every language you want. Right now, I have very good auto completion systems for PHP, JavaScript, Go and Ruby.

Even better: the plugins can be activated depending of the file type you are editing. You will never have the Ruby autocompletion while editing a PHP file. Sweet, isn’t it?

I have tons of plugins for refactoring, creating snippets and so on. No need to change IDE and get use to different interfaces. With Vim I can switch from one language to another transparently. Believe me, it’s awesome.

When I open Vim, everything I need is there for whatever language.

Vim is Light

Each time I open PhpStorm I have the impress that my computer is running a marathon. And he doesn’t do well.

Even on my very lightweight arch linux / i3 system (running on very good hardware), everything suddenly slow down. Welcome to the Matrix, or the stop motion applied to computing!

Sometimes I like to open two projects at the same time to get some configuration or code from one to another. Sometimes I want to open even more if I need to work with multiple micro services.

With PhpStorm… you know what I am talking about. Your memory scream, your CPU burns some calories, your vans consume more electricity than your fridge.

In comparison, Vim is a feather. So light! You can run multiple instances of it if you want, your computer won’t slow down.Try to use Vim, then come back to PhpStorm and you will see what I’m talking about.

Your hardware will love Vim.

Vim is Fun

This is something I didn’t imagine: Vim is really fun to use. This is something my work tandem told me, and it’s so true: it’s basically the gamification of coding.

It is time to precise a bit how to use it. There are many modes in this editor:

The Normal mode is for executing commands (delete words, lines, paragraphs and a lot of others). Basically, it’s to edit your text (or code).

The insert mode is there for you to concretely write.

A simple separation of concern and, believe me, it’s brilliant!

This is Vim: you can learn to be productive with it in a couple of minutes (I promise). Get used to it may take a bit more time, and then you will learn new stuff all your life. The whole editor feel so logical that you will come up with new way to do things without even asking Google. Yes, by yourself, only!

Like: “Maybe if I press those keys, it will do that eventually. Yes it does! I’m a genius!”

Indeed, Vim is so sweet, you can talk to it like an old friend. For example: you want to delete all characters from your cursor till the coma? In Normal mode, type dt,, which means delete till ,. You can do as well dtf, which delete till f. Magical!

In comparison, PhpStorm is boring. To me, 70% of the tools are useless (by adding a useless graphical interface on top on very efficient terminal tools) and the editor itself use the mouse extensively, like 99% of the editors in the world.If shortcuts were invented, it’s because it’s more convenient and fast to use the keyboard to execute actions. Vim definitely nailed that.

If you want to build a complete Mouseless Development Environment, you might be interested by this book.

To be honest with you, I always have the impression I’m some sort of a hacker doing crazy things with my keyboard in three different Vim instances. Of course I am just writing down my shopping list but… who cares? The feeling is great!

I am always happy when I discover a new shortcut or way to do thing even more easily. It’s like finding a secret way to beat a video game even faster! Gamification, I tell you.

PhpStorm Cost Money

PhpStorm is not free, far from it. Even if it’s pretty affordable (around 100euro), you pay only for one year. Welcome to the era of renting instead of acquiring…

If you want a Go, Ruby or whatever IDE for whatever language, you have to pay. Again.

Vim is free, available on everything (linux, windows, mac).

You Might be Faster with Vim…

Honestly I don’t care that much if I’m faster with it. To me, being fast doesn’t mean being a good developer. Our brain is more valuable than our typing speed.

However you will feel fast and precise, which is a good cherry on the cake. Adblock plus google chrome. Especially when you have to move a bunch of classes and renaming namespaces again and again. You know, what we call refactoring: Vim can simplify that and many other things.

Vim Allow You to do More than PhpStorm

Here some examples what you can do with Vim but not with PhpStorm:

You can search through open tabs (“buffers” in Vim), files and entire projects very fast with the fzf plugin. Even faster than with PhpStorm.

You can go directly to php.net with a keystroke when you are on a method / function / whatever to see its definition. Very handy.

You can run Vim with a GUI or in the terminal. Doing the last will open a lot of possibility like the winning combo zsh / tmux / Vim. You will have a lot of flexibility and fun with those tools, I can guarantee it!

Since a tonne of plugins exist for Vim you can extend the possibilities as you wish. You can even write little functions which extend / alter whatever you want.

The possibilities are infinite.

A Great Community

A lot of people use Vim and will be happy to help you. You have access to a lot of plugins for every development language you dream of.

Some will argue (as I did) than Vim is too old. It is a strength! Think about it: what software is more stable than the one tested for decades?

It is very stable indeed, thanks to the community. If you are stuck, if you have a problem, you have tons of resources where you can found the solution.

Neovim!

Vim is old and maintained for a long long time, which means as well that its codebase is (apparently) not-that-goodish.That is why a bunch of people rewrote the whole editor. It’s called Neovim and it’s compatible with every Vim plugin available.

Even if it’s still in beta I didn’t have any issues with it. It works like a charm.

I want to be in love with Vim! Tell me how!

First you need to be motivated and learn how to properly use it. It is less complicated than you think.

You Work on Linux or macOs? Try Vimtutor!

First, go to your terminal.Then type vimtutor. Press enter.Here we are!

Vimtutor comes with a lot of linux-based distribution. It is a 15 minutes tutorial for you to learn Vim’s basics. After that, you can begin to use Vim for whatever need you have.

15 minutes! Who said that Vim was complicated?

You don’t believe me? Just try it!

Get Inspired by Other’s Configurations

Vim alone is a bit… too weak functionality wise. You need plugins, and the best way to find what you need is to look to configurations from other developers.They are most of the time hosted publicly on github.

Here my personnal config.

Be careful though. It is tempting to copy entire configuration from others but you will be lost very quickly. Vim needs to be personalized. It can suits you if you take the time to tune it depending on your needs.

Take the configurations available on the web as inspirations. Copy them little by little, plugin by plugin. Test it, try to understand what the plugin is doing. Take your time. Read the plugin documentations. In short: do everything with Vim you should do as a developer. Analyzing, acting step by step and see if it suits your need.

Vim Cheat Sheet

My advice for the beginning: having a cheat sheet printed you can refer to. You can find a lot of them everywhere.

It will help you memorising the basics of Vim and experimenting to be more effective and have even more fun!

Vim is a Winner! But… Do I Miss PhpStorm?

I hope you are now ready to try Vim, and maybe replace PhpStorm!

Now let be honest with one another:

Yes PhpStorm has some tool that Vim doesn’t. The search plugin I use for example has less options than PhpStorm’s search… but is so faster, you’ve no idea.

In PhpStorm the auto completion was slightly better… in 2017. In 2019, Vim auto completion plugins are as good as any IntelliJ plugin.

You need to spend time configuring Vim to have a powerful PHP IDE.However, it means as well that you can personalize it the way you exactly want it to behave. An IDE should answers your need, not imposing them!

After three weeks using Vim as my PHP IDE, I tried to reinstall PhpStorm. I used it for ten minutes… before coming back to Vim.

I won’t get back to you, PhpStorm. Never. Bartender for wedding near me. I am a faithful man to Vim now.

This section provides the list of solutions and workarounds for common problems with deployments in PhpStorm.

Collecting PhpStorm deployment logs

If your issue is not addressed in this section, contact our support engineers. If asked to provide deployment logs, follow the instructions to collect them.

Select Help | Configure Debug Log in the main menu.

In the Custom Debug Log Configuration dialog that opens, add the following lines depending on the issues you are experiencing:

Issues with deployment/synchronization: #com.jetbrains.plugins.webDeployment

Issues with issues with SSH/SFTP: #com.intellij.ssh

Click OK and reproduce the issue.

Locate the log file by selecting Help | Show Log in Explorer (for Windows and Linux) or Help | Show Log in Finder (for macOS).

If necessary, you can locate the log manually:

Syntax

%HOMEPATH%.<product><version>systemlog

Example

C:UsersJohnS.PhpStorm2021.1systemlog

Syntax

~/Library/Logs/<product><version>

Example

~/Library/Logs/PhpStorm2021.1

Syntax

~/.<product><version>/system/log

Example

~/.PhpStorm2021.1/system/log

The most recent log file is named idea.log; older files names end with a number, that is idea.log.1, idea.log.2, and so on. In most cases you need only the most recent one.

Attach the log file(s) to the issue or forum thread.

General troubleshooting

Deployment is slow or fails

Deployment can be a resource-intensive operation, especially if a project or a deployment server contains lots of directories and files. In the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S, navigate to Build, Execution, Deployment and explore the following configuration options, which can speed up deployment:

Exclude directories that are not needed from deployment (for example, images). This can be done from the Deployment: Excluded Paths Tab page.

On the Options page, clear the Overwrite up-to-date files to skip uploading files that don't need to be uploaded.

Depending on the server, switching between active and passive transfer mode in the advanced FTP settings may help. This can be done by toggling Passive mode in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the server.

Limit number of concurrent FTP connections. This can be done by toggling Limit concurrent connections and setting the number of connections (usually 3-5 concurrent connections is OK for any server if you experience problems with a greater number of connections) in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the server.

File transfer becomes unresponsive

This can happen in case PhpStorm tries to resolve an IPv4 host via IPv6. By default, PhpStorm only listens for incoming IPv4 connections. To make sure IPv6 is disabled, check the PhpStorm JVM options:

Select Help | Edit Custom VM Options from the main menu.

In the .vmoptions file that opens, make sure the -Djava.net.preferIPv4Stack=true line is present.

Restart PhpStorm.

Otherwise, to enable IPv6 support, delete the -Djava.net.preferIPv4Stack=true line. In this case, make sure to add the IPv6 entry for your host to the /etc/hosts file.

Download/upload actions are not available

Download/upload actions may not be available because of a missing mapping. If a file or folder that you want to download is not configured in any mapping, PhpStorm will not download it. Mappings can be configured as described in the Map project folders to folders on the server and the URL addresses to access them.

For some actions, a default deployment server needs to be selected on the Deployment page of the Settings/Preferences dialog.

Some folders are not deployed

A common cause for folders not being deployed is when they are explicitly excluded. To solve this, in the Remote host tool window right-click the given folder and select Remove Path From Excluded from the context menu. Once this is done, the folder will be deployed.

This can also be configured from the Deployment page of the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S. Open the Excluded Paths tab for the server and remove the excluded path. Note that both the source and the target folders should be checked. Folders can also be excluded by name on the Options page under Exclude items by name.

Sharing deployment configurations between projects

Deployment Servers are configured at the IDE level: they are available for all projects and can be shared between them.

Note that only the name and connection details (specified on the Deployment: Connection Tab tab) are shared between projects: mappings and excluded paths are project-specific and have to be configured separately. Using this approach, connection details have to be entered just once, while mappings and excluded paths can be configured per-project, sharing the connection details. This can be useful when projects share the same deployment server and use the same connection settings. If connection settings are different between projects, they have to be configured for every project separately.

If necessary, you can set a server to be visible in a single project by selecting the Visible only for this project checkbox on the Deployment: Connection Tab.

IDE settings do not allow me to configure mappings

The default new project settings are used to configure the default settings for new projects and do not affect the currently opened projects. To configure settings for the current project, use the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S.

Can subfolders within the same folder have different deployment settings? Can a local folder be deployed to multiple locations?

When uploading folders and configuring mappings, note the following:

You can specify mappings for specific folders to different paths on the deployment server. This can be configured on the Deployment: Mappings Tab for the server.

You can exclude specific folders and files from being uploaded/downloaded. This can be configured on the Deployment: Excluded Paths Tab for the server.

You cannot upload the same folder (or subfolders) to different sites at once. A separate deployment configuration needs to be created for each of them and uploaded to each site one by one.

If this is what you want to do, we recommend automating the process with a capable tool. For example, Phing has an FTP task which can be used from PhpStorm. Within PhpStorm, you can use the Sync with Deployed.. command and select from available deployment servers for every upload.

I cannot assign a keyboard shortcut to the Sync With Deployed to My Server menu item

It is not possible to assign a keyboard shortcut directly to the Sync With Deployed to <server name> command, only to the generic Sync with Deployed to.. command, which will then display a popup menu with the list of servers. Refer to Configure keyboard shortcuts for details.

If you do wish to assign a keyboard shortcut to a specific deployment server, it is possible to record a Macro and assign a shortcut to it instead:

Select Edit | Macros | Start Macro Recording and start recording a Macro.

Select Tools | Deployment | Sync With Deployed to <server name> and close the sync window.

Stop recording the Macro by selecting Edit | Macros | Stop Macro Recording from the main menu.

Set the Macro name, for example Sync with <server name>.

Open in the Settings/Preferences dialog Ctrl+Alt+S, select Keymap and find the Macros node. From the context menu of the new sync Macro that was just recorded, select Add keyboard shortcut and provide the desired shortcut .

How do I deploy a database using PhpStorm?

There are a couple of ways to deploy a database using PhpStorm:

Make use of the integrated database tools and run the required DDL and SQL statements manually.

Work with Phing and set up a DBDeploy task.

Can I run a script or executable on my files before the upload occurs?

Things like minifying CSS, optimizing images, encoding PHP files using IonCube and so on are actions that you may want to execute before an upload happens. The best approach to do this is run them not when the upload is started, but when the files are changed, by using File watchers in PhpStorm. When the time comes to upload them to a deployment server, upload the processed files instead.

Note that the Skip external changes checkbox must be cleared on the Options page for this to work.

Sometimes files are not uploaded automatically

By default, PhpStorm uploads the files if they are changed by some external processes (VCS, transpilers, and so on). If the files are not uploaded, make sure that the Upload changed files automatically to the default server on the Options page is set to Always and the Skip external changes checkbox is cleared.

Can I run pre- and post-deployment actions?

It's possible using Run/Debug configurations. You can create a fake Run/Debug Configuration, or a Run/Debug configuration that should be the last step, and add the required steps under Before launch.

As an alternative, we recommend using Phing or any other build system to execute complex sequences of steps.

FTP troubleshooting

FTP issue: Invalid descendent file name 'http:'

When a deployment server has been configured or when using the Test Connection button in the project settings, the Invalid descendent file name 'http:' error is displayed. Note that all file names with a colon : in the name will be considered invalid.

This can happen if a file containing http: Pioneer desserts. in its name exists in the project. The library that PhpStorm uses to connect to FTP (Apache Commons VFS) cannot read the contents of a folder containing such a file, which causes the operation to fail. The only solution is to remove the file containing http: in its name from the project.

PhpStorm seems to connect to the server but can't list files or perform upload

Phpstorm Slow Cooker

This may be because the deployment server requires a so-called passive FTP connection. To set this mode, select the Passive mode checkbox in the Deployment: Connection Tab for the selected server.

Phpstorm Slow Ftp

Limiting the number of concurrent FTP connections may also help in this situation. To do this, open the Deployment: Connection Tab for the selected server, select the Limit concurrent connections checkbox, and set the number of connections (usually, 3-5 concurrent connections is OK for any server if you experience problems with a higher number of connections).

Phpstorm Show Main Menu

Deploying files when changing branches using Git checkout

There are a couple of ways to go about deploying files when switching between branches using Git checkout:

One way is to configure deployments to always upload files and external changes. To do this, on the Options page, set Upload changed files to the default server to Always and clear the Skip external changes checkbox. Note that this will upload all files to the server when switching branches.

Use git-ftp. It performs minimal uploads and is also able to mirror file and directory removals.

Phpstorm Slow Startup

Known issues

Is rsync supported to synchronize files and folders with a deployment server?

No. If you feel this should be part of PhpStorm vote for this issue.

[tumblunni]

OH MAN GEEZ IM FUCKIN EMOTIONAL ALREADY black butler: book of circus spoilers below:

oh god, the ways they expanded the story for the anime are SO FUCKIN SAD I kinda like that they made it so you actually do see the circus crew kidnapping children this time. I mean, I dont think its made to make them any less sympathetic, but it definately reminds you that the playing field is even here and they’re morally complicated rather than just poor innocent victims of mr evil protagonist. Also its REALLY GORY and REALLY PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR

Its so messed up, seriously These poor kids are being sent to kidnap other kids, by a creepy asshole murder pedophile fuck. And they dont know WHY theyre kidnapping kids, they don’t know what happens to the ones they hand over. And they’re all JUST FUCKING KIDS, they’re fucking children who’re all heavily disabled in different ways and LITERALLY owe their life to this horrible villain man. And they dont know why they were saved and why these other kids are.. going.. somewhere else. And they really dont know whether to trust their ‘father’, but its pretty clear they all have their suspicions that the kidnapped kids might be dying. But they dont have anywhere else to go if they disobey their father, and he’s fucking with their heads so they all feel like they’re the only onw with doubts and they cant even question it or everyone will turn on them and they’ll get kicked out on the street again and never see any of their siblings. And they all VERY MUCH know what its like to be dying on the streets. And this time they’d had a chance to know what its like to have prosthetic limbs and medical help and be able to eat three solid meals a day and wear pretty clothes and have a family. Having all that taken away will hurt even more than if they’d never known what it’s like..

So I sympathise with them, I really do. And I really believe they could have been rescued, and could have been redeemed, and ultimately we shouldnt be blaming them for what they did, only blaming the man who forced them into it and gave enough illusion of choice that they were able to feel guilt about it... BUT STILL that was REALLY FUCKED UP AND DISTURBING AND SAD AND DISTURBING AND SAD

seriously they PUT ON A FINAL CIRCUS SHOW for every single kid they kidnap part of it is about luring them in so they trust them, but also it seems they take it way too far for it to just be that. They almost got caught because they spent so much time doing their performance for this poor lil matchstick seller girl! and its equal parts heartwarming and DISGUSTING because this poor kid is like.. I dont even know if they drug their victims or if she was just going insane from having to see them killing the policeman that tried to save her they’re just horribly gorily fighting the policemen, stabbing a fucking knife through some guy’s eye, and the kid is sitting there having a complete mental collapse, laughing as if this is all part of the show. And we get this twisted vision of her point of view, seeing the nice clown man doing a funny show smacking mr teddy bear with a mallet, as the dead body of the policeman falls at her feet. And then they bundle her into the carriage and thats just the end. We dont find out what happens to the kidnapped kids, any more than the kidnappers know... We just got to learn so much about this poor kid, and that poor policeman, and have a bunch of heartwarming moments of them becoming friends, and then she just turns the corner for like five minutes and the policeman is like ‘wtf is that flute music’ then sees a fuckin ENTIRE CIRCUS IN AN ALLEYWAY and gets stabbed through the goddamn eye trying to reach the kid in time. And she’s so out of it that she couldnt even see him. His last thoughts were probably seeing her glassy eyes staring right through him... And we know that he had a daughter that this street urchin reminded him of, and we know she had a sick little brother who really needed the money the policeman gave her, and an abusive mother that’ll probably be forcing that poor brother to go out panhandling now her daughter is gone.. And just... GAHH my fucking emotions my sadness and also A LOT OF FEAR so much blood

and I KNOW HOW IT ENDS i know that the kids don’t fuckin go to a happy place with a nice new dad and ‘father’ only spared those few kids so they could be pawns he could manipulate into capturing more kids, and test subjects for his evil science team’s freaky bullshit and they dont even KNOW that they’re test subjects! they dont know that their prosthetic limbs are MADE FROM THE OTHER KIDNAPPED KIDS WHO NEVER CAME BACK god, im already imagining how they’d fuckin animate the poor ringleader guy throwing up as he realizes his arm is made from someone else’s bones and then he just DIES they all just die horribly in service of this disgusting fucking child murderer pedophile that they thought was their father half of them never learn that they were the villains all along, the other half get to know it just in time to despair utterly as they’re killed off too

and evil bastard’s trump card that kept them all obeying him it DIDNT EXIST he fucking held it over their heads that their other siblings were still out there somewhere, at his ‘orphanage’, and they had to work with him so he could send money back to them so they could all be happy too when really he’d killed them long ago, and for all we know they could be the ones that joker’s prosthetic arm was made from T_T and ciel’s fuckin only chance to do something to help the people he completely failed who all died hating him and thinking he’d betrayed them, that they were the good guys and he was the villain... that last chance was a fucking lie he tried to save the ‘other kids’ and the fucking ‘orphanage’ was an empty abandoned building full of nothing but maybe a stray doll they left behind before they were all horribly murdered so we just end on our protagonist being the absolute villain of this arc, and the actual villains being sympathetic kids, and him laughing like a madman as his last chance of redemption blows away on the wind

oh, and he fuckin personally murdered a bunch of kids too, even though he didnt kill all his villain friends with his own hand. he found some of the kids in the lab that were test experiments, the few who hadnt been killed yet. the few who’d had to watch potentially HUNDREDS of friends be dragged kicking and screaming to that operating table, and see every second of them being eviscerated into pieces. And ciel just sees himself in them, they’re all so catatonic that they cant even see him and all he can see is himself and he knows from personal experience that a kid can come back from that, but he knows how much of a monster he’s become and he thinks the kids would be happier if they could die as they are instead of losing themself so he just sets the whole building on fire and i end up crying for him even as he’s committing a horrible act! fucking moral ambiguity: the show

and god, even this episode’s goofy friendship fun parts were horrifying too! it starts off with the whole ‘ha ha ciel doesnt know this kid is Doll, cos she ~looks like a boy~ when she’s not in costume’ random stupidness but its still cute cos she’s being so kind to the newbie, and you can learn a lot about her character from it how she’s trying to be all smiley and goofy and giving him candy and saying how she’d never even tasted it before, and now he can stay here and be her lil brother and never get hit by anyone and never go hungry and she knows the goddamn price she has to pay for all this, and she wants to keep ciel innocent of it she doesnt know he’s already just as corrupted, and he’s really a spy sent to take them down and then just DEAR GOD THAT SCENE THAT IS NOT OKAY but it was absolutely fucking necessary I think, to keep the moral ambiguity and not make us just hate ciel forever she fuckin.. accidentally triggers a ptsd flashback in the poor kid he’s never been homeless before so he doesnt realise its a group bathroom, and then freaks out and tries to run. but she’s just teasing him as part of her cool big sis persona, and doesnt realise he has an actual reason to be scared. So they end up fighting and she accidentally reveals the scar on his back to everyone the fucking brand that was burned into him when he was kidnapped and enslaved and the episode just ends with our usually unflappable protagonist curled up in a ball under a towel, shaking and crying and his only comfort is the demonic butler he’s using to enact his revenge, and all he says is just ‘you’re better than this, you’re a badass’ ciel never really has any form of actual sympathy, does he? the only person who knows about what happened to him is this morally ambiguous monster minion guy. and the whole hook of the series is that we never really know if Sebastian actually gives a shit about ciel or any of the other humans, or if he’s just waiting for the poor kid to fuck up and leave an opportunity to devour his soul. I wanna believe that Sebastian does have some sort of fatherly affection for ciel, or at least they both care about each other in a sort of.. mutually evil way. But even if thats true, its not like sebastian is gonna really be any good to talk to in a time like this. he;s just gonna sass ciel for showing weakness. he just has this fuckin motivational speech of ‘yo ciel youre a fuckin evil bastard, remember? get up and continue your evil bastard ways’. and somehow it actually kinda works and actually kinda feels affectionate in context :P BUT STILL SERIOUSLY POOR CIEL he could have turned out a lot better than this if he had someone in his life who could actually give him a goddamn hug but I guess thats not really what he wanted, even though its what he needed instead he wished for the power to enact revenge on the one who killed his family and enslaved him and he set off on this long horrible path of becoming an evil bastard to track down this other evil bastard when he’s only fuckin ELEVEN and he’s happy to throw away his soul, and doesnt care if sebastian betrays him in the end and he burns in hell forever, as long as he can stop that evil bastard from doing the same thing to more children and this arc is so fucked up cos he failed so horribly to stop some OTHER evil bastard from doing the same thing to more children and he’s become so twisted and antiheroey and cynical that he missed his chances to redeem those poor other twisted kids, and maybe he could have done better in stopping the real villain if he had.. and the only fuckin thing we got out of this arc was that the bastard kidnapping these children was a copycat criminal of the one who did it to ciel, so we at least finally have one clue that might lead to a resolution someday but EVERYONE DIED and ciel’s even more fucking traumatized! and he’s jumped off the deep end and become full antihero evil bastard and all the character development he had during the arc has been negated and fuckin completely reversed cos of how it ended and he lost a bazillion friends and he was betraying them the entire time, and they died resenting him, or resenting him AND learning that he was right and they’d been working for the villain all along, and then he couldnt even save their other siblings cos they were long dead and just THIS FUCKING ARC IS SO FUCKED UP GAHHHHH

I guess sometimes you just wanna watch depressing cinema, yknow? I do hope that someday this series actually ends with at least a bittersweet ending, not an equally fatalistic one that means everything was all for nothing. i want the poor circus kids’s deaths to actually mean something...

Also, randomly and incidentally, I want the giant creepy pedo incesty shipping fandom to die in a fire. Before I even started watching it, Black Butler was famous as ‘that pedo anime’, everyone acted as if Sebastian x Ciel was canon and they kept teasing it in every episode or something. BUT NOPE. NONE. NICHT. NON. NAG YDW. Where the FUCK did they even get it from, seriously?? We don’t know if Sebastian is gonna betray ciel or not in the end, but im PRETTY FUCKING SURE that he doesn’t have a boner for a fucking ten year old! I know the idea of a demon servant is a common romance novel thing, but seriously wtf is wrong with you... I know I’m mad that this arc ended so horribly, but still I feel like the various moral ambiguity discussions are super interesting and I would have regretted if I’d never read any of this manga just because of some awful fanbase members.

ANYWAY IN SUMMARY bunni cry over episode

[lnd64zgj-blog]

When can I get my own insurance?

When can I get my own insurance?

Im 17 Ill be 18 in june. I had chip but my mom moved states and left me with my dad and chip expired and she cant re-apply because shes not in the same state. My dad doesnt want to pay for my insurance so now Im walking around with no insurance. I have medical problems and it requires surgery but I cant get anything now. I m supposed to go get my eyes checked but I cant because of not having insurance. I dont know what to do. None of my family wants to add me on their insurance plan because it s too expensive. My sibling is on my mom s insurance because she live with her and my brother is on my step-mom s and my dad is on his own and pays child support. Im at a loss for what to do. My dad cant apply for chip because he is tied with my stepmoms income. What do I do? Can I get my own insurance? I start college in the fall, should I get insurance from the university?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :bestinsureonline.xyz

SOURCES:

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[cryptswahili]

Wendy McElroy: Interview With Jeffrey Tucker on All Things Crypto, Part Two

Interview with Jeffrey Tucker on All Things Crypto, Part Two

Conducted by Wendy McElroy

The multi-faceted Jeffrey Tucker is an American writer who focuses on market freedom, anarcho-capitalism, and cryptotech. He is the author of eight books on economics, politics, and culture, a much-sought after conference speaker, and an Internet entrepreneur. Jeffrey is editorial director and vice president of the venerable American Institute for Economic Research, founded in 1933. His career has focused on building many of the web’s primary portals for commentary and research on liberty, and is undertaking new adventures in publishing today.

I have incredible good fortune, as Jeff has written the preface to my book “The Satoshi Revolution,” which will be published in early 2019 by bitcoin.com. Meanwhile, a rough draft of the book is available online for free, compliments of bitcoin.com. Be sure to come back for the substantially-rewritten and thoroughly-edited book. I expect there will be a forum established here for me to chat with readers and answer their questions.

To access Part One of this interview, please click here.

Wendy: I was very impressed by an article in which you argued against the idea that Misesian regression theorem invalidated bitcoin as a money. For readers, the Regression theorem claims “Any valid medium of exchange (money) has to have a previous use as something else.” Could you offer an overview of your argument?

Jeff: Mises’s argument was that the root value of money traces to a conjectural history in which the pre-money form was deployed, for example, in barter. By 1949, Mises became hardened in this view: money had to originate in barter; there is no other path. From a historical point of view, this is probably correct. But it is a theoretically misleading formulation.

To understand the theory behind the conjectural history, you have to return to Mises’s original 1912 argument. Here he is more precise. In order for something to become money, it had to have a pre-existing use value. Use value. That’s not the same thing as being used in barter trade. His point was that you can’t take a useless thing and call it money and expect it to take flight.

How can we reconstruct the history of Bitcoin to discern if this applies here? From the January 2009 genesis block until October of that year, Bitcoin’s posted dollar exchange value was exactly $0. And yet we know, because we have a perfect historical record, that there were many thousands of trades being made all these 10 months. What was happening? What was going on? This was a period in which the network was being tested by enthusiasts. What does this network do? It permits the peer-to-peer exchange of immutable information packets on a geographically non-contiguous basis using the Internet so that they can come and go without corruption or compromise.

Is this a valuable service and does it work? This is what was being tested. By October, the use value of this network had proven itself, and so we began to see the emergence of a dollar/Bitcoin exchange ratio. That is to say, Bitcoin was priced as a scarce good. We can see, then, that the conditions of the “Regression Theorem” as theory are met via the services provided by the blockchain. You can also see, however, that if an economist looking at this did not understand the payment system embedded as part of the monetary technology, he or she would be completely befuddled.

To be sure, some very smart people disagree with me. My friend William Luther is blunt about his opinion about his matter. He thinks the Regression Theorem is just wrong, so it doesn’t matter if Bitcoin is theoretically compliant. He once made the argument to me and pretty much backed me into a corner. If he turns out to be correct, I’m fine with that. What matters more, my theory or existing reality? I faced that problem in early 2013 and concluded that I had, as a matter of intellectual integrity, to defer to reality, even if it meant admitting the wrongness of my position or even that of Mises’s. Shocking, I know!

Wendy: The crypto community parallels the libertarian one, in ways both good and bad. An example of the latter is the deep personal schisms with which it is rift. You are a person who stays away from internecine battles. What advice do you have to others who wish to do the same?

Jeff: I try to stay focused on the big picture and imagine that my audience is not my friend network but rather the general public. I try to serve that readership. That means no Twitter wars. No flame wars at all. Plus, I’ve seen vast destruction spread by vicious internecine battles. I’ve seen friendships wrecked, bad theory perpetrated by virtue of ego alone, massive setbacks take place in understanding and marketing. Also, there are some people who are ideologically attached to the friend/enemy distinction. Unless they are smashing someone and hitting “the enemy” they think they are not working. It’s extremely strange how some people thrive off this posture.

To be sure, I have no trouble taking a stand, as I have when libertarians have wrongly drifted left and right. Why? I like to seek greater intellectual clarity and share my thoughts with others, in hopes that I can help others understand too. I’m not seeking saints and not looking to burn witches. I try to choose my battles carefully and stay focused on doing productive work, cooperating with anyone who thinks, writes, and acts in good faith. That’s the main thing to ask yourself, not “Who have you destroyed today?” but rather, “What kind of light have I brought to the world today?”

Wendy: Different explanations of crypto’s recent plunge in price have been advanced. Some people point to increased government regulation, especially in China and in the U.S., where the SEC is taking active steps against the crypto community. Many believe the tumble resulted from a bursting bubble that was created by surging prices earlier in 2018. Still others speak of manipulation by “the whales.” These explanations are not mutually exclusive, of course. But do you favor one over the other? Do you have another explanation?

Jeff: It’s impossible to untangle all of this, and many of the factors you name are right, but let me add another issue. The amazing bull market of 2017 was fueled by wild optimism and adoption. People in the space were ready to rock. Then this optimism was massively interrupted by a terrible realization. Bitcoin would not scale. It stopped behaving like Bitcoin and started becoming more expensive and slower than regular credit cards. To use street parlance, it sucked. It was an amazing thing to have happened. It was a true calamity. And to top it off, it was completely the fault of the guardians of the code. When the code would not adapt to broader use, the optimism turned to pessimism and we experienced a huge setback.

By the way, I’ve worked for years with people who are geniuses at code but completely stupid when it comes to the user experience. It was the tragedy of Bitcoin that it fell prey to exactly this same problem. Coders desperately desire cleanliness, zero bloat, no cruft, perfect logic. It’s an old joke in the community that a coder invites you to use his new program but all you see on the black screen is a blinking green cursor. “Of course I still have to write the user interface.”

The OCD-ish mind of coders is a great thing for some purposes but this outlook has never prevailed in the commercial marketplace. In the early 1990s, there was a great battle over word processors. Microsoft kept making Word larger and larger, puffed with cruft, and the code monkeys were screaming that this was a disaster in the making. For my own part, I hated Word in those days and completely agreed that the hard-to-use light-weight programs were better.

But guess what? The market disagreed. Moore’s Law kicked it as it always does and eventually Word destroyed the competition. Why? Because it had more features that users like. Eventually the code got clean again and now Word itself has many elegant competitors. This is the normal progression of any software with a consumer focus.

Incredibly, some people with the keys to the kingdom of Bitcoin actually came to imagine that they could develop a digital money without an efficient, consumer-focussed use case. They drove a wedge between two functions: store of value and medium of exchange. This is not how much work. One function depends on the other. The freeze in the development of Bitcoin, in the name of staying light and elegant, was a fool’s errand. During all the scaling debates of 2014-16, they dug in their heels, shouting slogans, guarding their small blocks, instead of thinking about adoption and scaling when the time came.

When the time did come, Bitcoin did not perform. It fact – and it pains me to say this – it completely flopped.

Old school Bitcoiners like me were horrified to see it all happening. It was like an old friend had become possessed. When the mempools exploded, and the miners were in a position to ration trades based on price, it would cost $20 to send $2. This was in the fall and winter of 2017. It was absolutely disgraceful, and all the more so because the newly emergent “maximalists” defended this preposterous reality, acting if as this was part of the plan all along. They were like PeeWee Herman explaining that when he fell off the bike that he “meant to do that.” They flagrantly ignored even the title of the White Paper. Then the fork came in August of 2017, as it necessarily had to. But then followed a tremendous explosion of tokens of all sorts.

I don’t regret the competition, and I think this is all a good thing. I’m not a Bitcoin Maximalist. I’m a Competition Maximalist. But the absurdities of Bitcoin’s performance could have been completely avoided with just a bit of concern for the user. I would love it if we could perform a controlled experiment and see the BTC price today if the thing had properly scaled. We can’t do that. We have the reality we have.

Privately, of course, Bitcoin Core developers will admit that this was a disaster and that scaling will eventually take place on the chain. But at this point, pride and arrogance had gotten the best of them. How long will they continue to promise the Lightning Network while showing no concern for the use case? It’s time for a bit of humility.

To be sure, the Lightning Network is super great. We run a node at the Atlanta Bitcoin Embassy. I look forward to its final stability and adoption. The problem is that this was proposed as an eventual solution to the scaling problem that currently exists. Real-time technological development has to deal with problems in real time according to the time schedule of the market rate of adoption. Markets don’t obey code architects; the reverse has to be the case. Bitcoin Core forgot that at the very point it mattered most.

Wendy: Whatever the probable explanation(s), do you have a sense of when or whether crypto markets are likely to rebound significantly? Do you have a sense of what will cause a rebound or prevent one?

Jeff: Like all enthusiasts, I do expect a turnaround. Remember that I’ve been in these markets since BTC was $14. I’ve seen wild swings and long periods of nothingness. I’m prepared for anything.

Wendy: A debate within crypto parallels one I have heard between gold bugs. That is, should one take physical possession of precious metals, or they can be stored with reputable entities. In crypto, the parallel argument is whether coins should be in private wallets with undisclosed keys, or can they be stored with exchanges that do not demand possession of the keys?

Jeff: That is an interesting parallel! I think it is a valid one. I’m disappointed with the rise of what are effectively Bitcoin Banks that now dominate the market. I’ve reluctantly concluded that there is indeed a demand for financial intermediation, even within crypto. Here is a case where my own preferences are being overridden by market choice. That said, intermediation in crypto is not going to have the problems that it does in a central banking world. We have transparency. We have clear lines of ownership. We know the difference between money and a money substitute. I don’t necessarily think that intermediation is an evil thing in the crypto world.

Wendy: Any other thoughts you’d like to share on this subject?

Jeff: I would council Bitcoiners and anyone who sees the potential of this technology to be patient. Think back to railroads and how they came to be. The headlines were all about land speculation, wildcat banks, stock fraud, bankruptcies, and crashes. The reality, in the end, was a transformed world. It was true with the Internet too. People said for years that no one could make money on the Internet. The dotcom crash of 2000 seemed to prove it. Now Internet commerce leads the world. It will be a long time before crypto becomes competitive with nationalized money, and even longer before the pundit class comes around.

The important point is that we have the knowledge. We have the technology. We know now that it is possible. It can be done. There is no longer any excuse for not turning over the production and management of money itself to the market.

Also let us not forget what matters most. Bitcoin is a technology but the goal is much more grand: a better, more peaceful, more prosperous world. I’ve seen it myself how this works. When you pull down the barriers, when you provide opportunities for people to cooperate, beautiful things happen. I see it constantly at the Atlanta Bitcoin Embassy. This is a place where people from all walks of life come together in a spirit of joyful cooperation to build the future. This inspires me more than anything else and points to the kind of future that can be built by a P2P technology. It’s a microcosm of what life in the cryptocon can be like.

Wendy: Thank you, Jeff! This has been fascinating.

[To be continued next week.]

Reprints of this article should credit Bitcoin.com and include a link back to the book

Wendy McElroy has “published” her new book The Satoshi Revolution exclusively with Bitcoin.com. However, things aren’t over yet. Every Saturday you’ll find another installment in a series of interviews about sections of the book with people like Doug Casey, L.Neil Smith, Jeff Tucker, Carl Watner…and so on. Altogether they’ll make up her new book ”The Satoshi Revolution”.

The post Wendy McElroy: Interview With Jeffrey Tucker on All Things Crypto, Part Two appeared first on Bitcoin News.

[Telegram Channel | Original Article ]

#cryptocurrency

[thatjwguy]

Mental Illness Talk (Personal Experiences) 

So, this will be my first blog in quite some time. Feels good to be back, Just feel like i need to discuss some issues. Things haven’t been so peachy in my world. Many thoughts and things swirling around in my head. Lot of them not my own, what i mean is they don't represent my true self, they feel detached from me. I often have anxiety about the thoughts thinking they are mine, but I know its not. You give them power when you analyze them or try to correct them as I often find myself doing. Which never helps cause you just think about the thought even more. Very vicious cycle to find yourself in, just going around in circles in your mind trying to make sense of it all and trying to make it all better. 

Im sure many people do this very same thing, i know im not alone. I just hope people are getting the proper help for things like this because it can get pretty out of control at times. I literally feel like a vice is squeezing my head at times.    Like my brain is pushing up against my skull, very discomforting feeling. The counselor i was going to 6 or 7 months ago said i could have schizoaffective disorder or something of that nature. No official diagnosis of this but i think its also a spiritual matter as well. Spiritual in the sense that it could possibly be a negative entity or multiple attached to me. Biblical accounts do reinforce this thought. The bible clearly states that many people became ill or hade been possessed by spirits. Not that im freaked out, just concerned about how to deal with the issue. 

2 Corinthians 11:13-15

13

For such men are false apostles, deceitful workers, disguising themselves as apostles of Christ.

14

And no wonder, for Satan himself keeps disguising himself as an angel of light.

15

It is therefore nothing extraordinary if his ministers also keep disguising themselves as ministers of righteousness. But their end will be according to their works.

Since trying to walk the Godly path, iv experienced many things that are strange. Such as Visions, Lucid Dreams, Voices, Feeling Detached, Cloudy Mind, Paranoid, And Speaking in tongues. Just to name off a few things, not im not saying its all spiritual, i think its a bit of both. Originally started hearing voices around 2015ish. Started to work outside with my grandad, side note i also made video dedicated to him which i will put up here at some point. Just really odd things that i could not explain, i knew it had to be spiritual to some degree. Other things to note, that others out there in the world have also had a lot of these same things happen to them, often they think its purely psychological or all spiritual. New Age, Buddism, Hinduism, Wicca and Some Christian faiths believe things like this, that they may be contacting outer worldy forces. Angels, spirit guides, dead loved ones and all sorts of stuff. 

Deuteronomy 18:10-12

10

There should not be found in you anyone who makes his son or his daughter pass through the fire,

anyone who employs divination,

anyone practicing magic,

anyone who looks for omens,

a sorcerer,

11

anyone binding others with a spell, anyone who consults a spirit medium

or a fortune-teller,

or anyone who inquires of the dead.

12

For whoever does these things is detestable to Jehovah, and on account of these detestable practices Jehovah your God is driving them away from before you.

With the new age teachings, i had thought at one point, that you could connect with others on a spiritual level. Perhaps to some degree that may be true, like talking on a telephone without having a telephone, as far as i know, Angeles use telepathy to communicate with one another. No official word in the bible speaks about this though, only accounts of them appearing in spirit or flesh to communicate Gods will for the earth, also the accounts in Noah's day when Satan and his demons came down to become man, then proceeded to bed the women which created the Nephelum. Guess its open for speculation, just don't like to do that too often when it concerns the bible. Should have the cold hard fact with scriptures to back it up. 

Other than that, nothing more could really be said about this matter. My mental problems seem to be staying about the same, even affecting my work life now. Recently lost my job at a tree service because i missed some days and they had noticed i was absent-minded while working, making stupid mistakes and such. When you have multiple voices and disorganized thoughts like this, it really can be a challenge to make it through the day. Keeping yourself together long enough to get by and then the next day repeating the process. Now im on the long path to recovery, trying to seek out help, change meds to see what happens in the long term. Also making more time for my creator Jehovah God, since in the bible it also mentions he is the God of all comfort, throw all your anxieties on him and he will sustain you.

Psalm 34:18

18

Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted;

He saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Suppose many tend to put their faith in ideas like New Age and other things for the comfort. Might seem interesting or enticing to some, worshiping creation, other gods and such thinking if they perform these rituals that they will gain more. Not that its all for selfish reasons, just the allure of it all might take hold in the imaginations of people, thinking they can become something more. Evolving into ascended masters, possibly bring more positive change in the world. Most individuals are well-meaning but i think they fail to understand just how cunning the devil really is.  If he could trick a perfect woman like Eve into believing she could become like a god, knowing good and evil. What makes them think they can't fall into the same trap, sure it might be packaged a little differently but its essentially the same concept. 

Ephesians 6:11, 12

11

Put on the complete suit of armor

from God so that you may be able to stand firm against the crafty acts

of the Devil;

12

because we have a struggle

not against blood and flesh, but against the governments, against the authorities, against the world rulers of this darkness, against the wicked spirit forces

in the heavenly places.

Before i go off on a tangent, which i believe i already have at this point, ill just make this my last thought. We are very loving and caring creatures, wanting whats best for the world, trying to make sense of ourselves and desperately clinging to the idea we can change the world simply by loving one another despite our differences of believe. That all paths might lead to the same creator so that we can sleep with the peace of mind that most will make it to the promise land someday. Wishful thinking can only get you so far though, at some point you have to bite the bullet and realize something is faulty with that line of thinking. No matter how much you want to believe it. It make take some time to come to grips with the idea, like myself. I want everyone to see Jehovah’s promised paradise, it just won't happen that way though. Reality will break your heart sometimes, thats how it is, we cant change that. 

Matthew 7:13, 14

13

“Go in through the narrow gate,

because broad is the gate and spacious is the road leading off into destruction, and many are going in through it;

14

whereas narrow is the gate and cramped the road leading off into life, and few are finding it.

So in closing, i want to try to help you understand that i don't look down on anyone who holds these beliefs, in fact, i respect the fact that they have put so much work and time into trying to find the truth, just the dedication/passion that is behind it all. People genuinely want the world to be a better place, just as Jehovah does. Perhaps misguided sure, at least they believe in something though, something more than themselves. That's one step closer to finding out the truth. Keep seeking and it will be revealed to you. Many paths that lead to destruction with many finding it, only one road to life, few finding it. So don't feel bad for these things, feel good that you are trying to make a difference, you want things to change, thats a lovely thing to think about. Never give up searching for whats real, if you want the truth, he will find you one way or another. Its up to you to follow that path. 

Thanks for sticking around till the end, much love as always. Stick around for more fun-filled adventures. :) PS. Song choice is because i feel it accurately represents us a people, not wanting to live in this world anymore, for all the horrific things that happen. Yes, many beautiful things are still here. The song itself reflects how many of us just want to go elsewhere, leave these problems behind. Restart new, hit the reset button so to speak. The darker side of this song might be putting an end to ones life to escape it all. For the most part though, i think its just about not wanting to go through all the pain in this world. 

#Tumblr #Love #Jehovah #God #mental health #mental disorder #Health #KeepSeeking #Spiritual #Lust #godly #devotion #suicde #Other #Music #RiseAgainst #i dont want to be here #JW.org #Something #illness #Bible #Scripture #song #cool #hotline #callhome

[themoneybuff-blog]

Which New Car Would You Buy?

Last week via email, reader David Hatch asked: If you were going to buy a new car, what would you get do you think? I wrote a short email replythen decide this topic is worth a deeper dive (of only for my own personal edification). You see, Kim and I have been talking about cars lately. Mine is fifteen years old and hers is over twenty. Although both are running fine, we realize that well have to replace one (or both) of them in the near future. When we do, what will we buy? What kind of new car is right for Kim? What kind of car is right for me? Lets start by looking at the cars Ive owned in the past. Every Car Ive Ever Owned I am not a car guy. Even though I can appreciate nice cars, I dont have any desire to own them. Im not sure why. Maybe its because my parents never had nice cars when I was a kid. They had practical, serviceable vehicles that got the job done. During my 33 years of driving, Ive owned five cars. In high school, I inherited my fathers 1980 Datsun 310 GX. I drove that little red beast until it died during my senior year of college. I had a lot of fun with the Datsun, but I treated it poorly. The best part about this car was that I could perform a lot of the maintenance myself even though I dont have much mechanical knowledge. (Driven from March 1985 to March 1991 six years.) After the Datsun died, Dad bought me a $1000 Ford Tempo as a college graduation present. It was a POS from the start. I drove it for less than six months before giving up on it. (Driven from March 1991 to September 1991 six months.) When I landed my first job (which turned out to be the worst job I ever had), I also bought my first new car: a 1992 Geo Storm. Naturally, I bought it on creditbefore Id even received a paycheck. I loved that $12,000 car the entire time I owned it. (Driven from September 1991 to December 2000 9.25 years.) On 01 December 2000, a semi sideswiped my Geo Storm on the freeway during morning traffic. The car spun 360+ degrees before striking an overpass guardrail, deploying the airbag. The car was totalled; fortunately, I wasnt hurt.

After the accident, I purchased a brand-new 2001 Ford Focus from a friend who worked at a local dealership. I paid $15,000. I hated that car from Day One. It was awful. (I should have read the Consumer Reports reviews before buying; I would have steered clear!) I bought that vehicle with a loan too. (Driven from December 2000 to April 2009 8.25 years.) In 2009, after years of dreaming about it, I realized I could afford to buy a used Mini Cooper. By this point, Id been writing GRS for three years, so I put my own advice into practice. I shopped around. I bought used. I paid $15,000 cash. Ive owned that 2004 Mini Cooper for more than nine years now. In fact, as of this month, its the car Ive owned longest in my lifetime.

As you can tell, when I buy a car, I tend to drive it for a long time. I rarely (if ever) get the new car itch. I wish I could say this was because Im rational about my car-buying decisions, but thats not it. Im just not a car guy. (Computers, though? Well, I want to upgrade my computer every year. I am a computer guy.) But David didnt ask about the cars Ive owned in the past. He asked what car Id buy new. What Kim and I Own Now Kim and I have been thinking about this question for a couple of years now. Neither of us is eager to buy a new vehicle, but from a pragmatic perspective, were both going to have to do so relatively soon. I currently own the afore-mentioned 2004 Mini Cooper (with roughly 150,000 miles) and a 2016 Harley-Davidson Street 750 motorcycle.Kim owns a 1997 Honda Accord (with roughly 240,000 miles) and a 2005 Harley-Davidson Sportster motorcycle. Both of our cars run about like youd expect. Kims is very reliable and never has major maintenance issues. It also has air conditioning that works. (The Mini has a coolant leak that Im unwilling to pay to have fixed, so we no longer use it for long summer trips.) Ive had to spend a few thousand to repair the Mini over the past couple of years, but its running fine at this moment. Ive been setting aside $600 per month in my car fund, Kim told me the other day. Before our RV trip, she was saving for a new car, but she cashed out that money to help pay for our travels. I have about $12,000 saved now. Thats not enough for a new car especially not for a Tesla Model 3 but its a start. You plan to sell your Honda to the girls at some point, right? I asked. We know two sisters who should be getting their licenses soon. Kim has promised them they can have her Honda for $500. Yep, Kim said. Thats the plan. But should I do that if I dont have enough saved to pay cash for a new car? Thats a tough question, I said. You could always drive my Mini Cooper to work. I dont use it much during the week. And for about half the year, I could ride my motorcycle instead. Im not sure what Id do during the winter. Well, are you still thinking about buying a beater pickup? Kim asked. Since moving to our country cottage last summer, weve come to realize that our lives would be much easier if we had something that would let us haul lumber and ladders and dirt and gravel and plants and furniture and so on. Im hoping to find a small pickup that runs well priced at a few thousand dollars. Yes, I still think the pickup is a good idea, I said. And that could certainly be my winter ride. I guess we dont have to make any decision yet, Kim said. We dont have to decide anything until one the girls learns how to drive. What Kind of Car Would I Buy? Although I spend most of my road time in vehicles that are fifteen or twenty years old, this year Ive had a lot of exposure to modern cars. During both my trip to Florida in January and my trip around the Southeast in April, I rented a car. Ive spent four weeks of 2018 essentially test-driving modern mid-sized sedans. They all feel like theyre from the future. (I think I had a Nissan Versa for one trip and a Hyundai Elantra for the other.) Ill admit: I like some of the new features. Back-up cameras are kind of cool. Sound systems that automatically pair with your phone are awesome. I like the whole keyless thing, too. (The other night, Kim pointed out that her car was so old that we still have to hand-crank the windows!) While visiting Nashville in April, a friend gave me a ride in his new $150,000 Mercedes. Holy cats! The interior of that thing was like the U.S.S. Enterprise (the fancy Picard-era Enterprise, not the utilitarian Kirk-era Enterprise). I have no desire to own a luxury automobile, but I can certainly appreciate the design touches. If Kim were to buy a new car, shed buy the Tesla Model 3. Shes a fan of electric vehicles. If she cant afford a Tesla when it comes time to buy a new car, I suspect shell end up with a Honda or Toyota hybrid. (Im not sure, though. I havent asked her.) She just wants a comfortable, reliable car to get to and from work, and for us to use on long road trips. Me? Well, Ive delayed answering this question for more than 1000 words because I dont really know which car Id buy if I had to buy a new car. Lets think it through together. I prefer smaller cars. I have zero desire to own a modern truck or SUV. I dont want a minivan. I dont want a large sedan. I like vehicles with small footprints. Theyre easier to park, fuel efficient, and generally more agile.I like something a little sporty. Im not a fast driver, but I do like to be able to accelerate now and then, either to overtake another car or to enjoy twisty country roads.I want a car with ample cargo space. As I mentioned earlier, I haul stuff all the time, so I want a vehicle that lets me carry stuff from the hardware store. Itd also be nice if I could transport a kayak or two. (Believe it or not the Mini has decent cargo room. It certainly has more usable cargo space than Kims Accord.) Based on this, Id focus my search on three classes of vehicles: compact pickup trucks, compact cars, and subcompact cars. Unfortunately, compact pickup trucks are a dying breed. Yes, Ford is bringing back the Ranger in a few months, but currently there are only five options in this category. The only one that gets good reviews is the Honda Ridgeline, and that costs $30,000 or more. There arent many options in the world of subcompact cars, either. Most of those options also get poor reviews (and low customer satisfaction scores). There are plenty of choices in the world of compact cars, however, and at prices that dont scare me. Both the Toyota Corolla and Toyota Prius are highly-rated and affordable. That said, if I bought a compact car, Id probably pursue a Mazda 3 or Hyundai Elantra. Plus, Id have to consider the modern Mini Cooper. (My ex-wifes boyfriend is a mechanic and fellow Mini fan. Hes warned me that newer Minis are both larger and less reliable, so Im skeptical that Id choose a Mini again. But I do love mine.)

The Bottom Line So, which new car would I purchase? Honestly, I dont know. I dont want to buy a new car, and I hope I dont have to make this sort of decision for many years. Having said that, I am absolutely in the market for a beat-up but reliable pickup preferably a compact pickup. Something like this seems perfect:

As a wildcard, I suppose a used Subaru Outback might be a smart choice for me also. (Actually, a Subaru Outback would be an excellent choice for our current lifestyle.) The older I get, the more I view vehicles as tools. Theyre not status symbols for me. I dont get an adrenaline rush from a souped-up sports car. Right now, I want a car that runs reliably, allows me to haul stuff, and doesnt take up a lot of space. Thats it. (Except when we take long road trips which happens two or three times each year I dont care about comfort.) Realistically speaking, heres what I expect will happen: One of the girls will get her license in the next year. Kim will sell the Honda to her for $500.Kim and I will pool money to buy her a new car. It wont be the Tesla Model 3 that she wants so badly. Itll be a Subaru Outback or a hybrid Toyota or Honda.I will continue to drive the Mini Cooper until it is well and truly dead. At that time or perhaps before Ill buy a beater pickup for use around the homestead. (Yes, we may end up having three cars at some point but only for a little while.) What about you? If you had to buy a new car, what would you buy? Why? What features are important to you? Are there certain makes or models that you prefer? Refuse to consider? And based on what Ive told you here, what kind of car would you recommend for me? https://www.getrichslowly.org/which-new-car/

[itsraiden-blog]

Chapter One Lee Yang

 It's a vibrant morning in Roseport. The sun is high the birds are chirping and the sidewalks are busy. As my apartment window is open, i can smell the fresh scent of baked goods below. My ears fill with the noise of ships arriving at the port and fishermen voices at loud. Its a beautiful day as i begin to yawn out of bed. I start my day off with a fresh brew of coffee that i picked up from Marcos Coffee Company. I must say, its the best in town. With a   variety of beans to choose from you can never go wrong with the Italian roast. I recently moved to Roseport from Los Santos and i have already gotten a pretty quick start. I work as a  journalist at The Daily Globe. With rising crime rates and corrupt politicians in Roseport there will never be a day with out a story to tell.  Having lived in the city only a few weeks now. I have fallen in love with this place. The best place to visit is the Town square, with its shopping malls and busy foot traffic. Anything you'd wish to find would be right down there. As i pore my coffee i cant help but notice the obnoxious alarm going off whilst  the door bell ringing in an agitated rhythm. I swing the door open to see the fresh milk delivered at my feet as expected. If you're from anywhere else in the world such thing would be foreign, but here in Roseport its a common service. It's convenient to get milk when you don't have to leave the house. Besides, Market Goods is a busy and   often hectic grocery store. Good luck attempting to get to the refrigerated isle while soccer moms plague the store with there loud and unruly kids.  I quickly put on my business casuals as i prepare for work on a busy Monday. If you ever experience Monday traffic like ours, you too would be concerned of the rising population. In just a few weeks hundreds have moved to Roseport coming from all parts of the world. An interesting phenomena and one i am eager to discover. I mean, what happened that the population of Roseport increased tremendously? My boss, John, speculates its do to the rising cost of living in some parts of the world, along with Aldorria's immigration law. Who knew promoting foreign policy and immigration would get Aldorria on the map. Roseport the capital is over populated at the moment. So, i  choose to ride my bicycle to work. I would say i am a zero emissions guy, as i don't own a car. I must say Roseport is a city that appeals to cyclist over motor operators. With its expanding bike lanes and strict traffic laws the number of cyclist has increased. Besides, who would want to be stuck in traffic for two hours on a twenty mile commute to work? Not me, that's for damn sure.

  There it is the Daily Globe. The place where ill spend the next eight hours getting yelled at by my boss because of late published columns. I mean seriously they need to lay off me for a bit, but that's what i get looking to work at the number one news outlet in the country. We cover it all, from the corrupted elections of 2016, to the economic crisis of 2017. We are in for a record breaking year if we manage to cover these small gang groups popping up in the western part of the country. Gang wars have always been a hot topic. One, hot enough to drive me up the wall and drive others out of Ash Hill. Currently major players are embarking in major crime moves. Something the west has never seen before. We are talking about extortion, drug trafficking, prostitution, and whatever makes money illegally. Most likely you'll see it on the west side. Politicians have always said when population increase so does the crime rate. Who knows what will happen if this thing continues to Roseport.

I park my bike in front of the building as i am greeted by the security guard whose name i always forget. Bob? Bill? Who the hell knows. "Good morning Lee" he says as if he knew me more then just my name. Seriously i have never stopped to talk to that guy and yet, he always greets me. His over weight belly and messy light brown hair is off putting. Where did we find him? I should probably learn his name one day when i am not running late for work- again. Remember when i said cycling is better then driving? well, it use to, until all these new immigrants showed up in Roseport clogging up the bike lane.   As i scan my badge five minutes late at the employ portal, i notice a figure at the corner of my eye. As i turned to the figure i immediately notice one of my bosses looking at me with the sort of face your grandmother makes when you tell her the cookies weren't good. "Five minutes late? whats your explanation this time?" she utters with a death stare. I figured if you complement her she would ease off the stare. "Good morning Sandra" I pretend to sniff the perfume scent in the air. "I love your perfume today, what is it?". "Dont try to avoid my question" she quickly replies. "Yes, i was late but i need to really get going to work. You wouldn't want me to be late on getting these stories published would you? By the way your hair looks great today. You should give your salons number. Maybe i could get me a high fade... they-do fades right?" slowly avoiding eye contact as i awkwardly slide away. "Always with the compliments Lee. Very well, i hope to see your lousy story on my desk by noon" As she motions to leave she stops to finish with. "Oh, and thank you on the compliments. The salon is called NATEDOOS ask for Nate he does an amazing job." with a serious smile and a cold face she finally takes off into her office.   I quickly depart to the third floor via the stairs. Everyone knows you make sure you sweat a little; before you enter the third floor. If your coworkers see you not sweating when you're running late they tend to have this disappointing look on their faces. Oh and they look down on you as if you're a scum of the earth. I like to also complete some jumping jacks right before the third floor as it makes my sense of urgency more believable.     The Daily Globe is the heart of Roseport. You cant miss the huge spherical globe that sits on top of this massive skyscraper. Massive, but yet it doesn't compare to New York's skyscrapers. Shame, because it sure does look huge when you're on the 20th floor. The offices are clean and it resembles a call center but with out the depressing cubicles. Instead you see rows of desks and everyone just typing away at their computers while working in harmony to produce the top stories of Aldorria.   I manage to reach my desk to find some silly written notes my work friends like to make when i am late. The notes mostly read "loser, loser get to work on time" and "Did you ever find a girlfriend? i hear Betty is single" Betty isn't a real person but a mere inside joke of a very large woman whose name is Betty, yea don't ask. Josh and Merle need to lay off the notes. As i  am clearly the better journalist here. I am often tasked to write about Ash Hills declined economy? Boring! Seriously what a boring topic. I mean its the third year in a row politicians have managed to let Ash Hills economy into the dump. This impressing poor performance the city has put up each quarter makes for an interesting topic, one that i would not want to write. My luck huh.   Unfortunately, i have no say so on what stories i may be tasked to write. That's up to John. Our boss with the very creepy look. His little bald spot on top of his head doesn't help his case. He has managed to creep out every female employ and yet he still works here. What a mystery!   I gather all my reports on Ash Hills economy as i rush into the editors office while beating my friend Merle to the door. "Wow, fast to the door but slow to work? Wonder what you were doing last night" she then gestures to a derogatory remark evolving my male parts with my hand in a rhythmic disgusting but at the same time pleasurable motion. You get the picture. "Seriously, Merle not in front of John, you know he can still fire you!" "indeed i could fire you... reports please!" John shouts as he gets up from his desk with his palms and belly over the desk waiting to be handed our reports. Handing them over i sit down as Merle chooses to stand adjusting her poster as she prepares to get vocal. "John, i just wanted to let you know i think i have found out what really happened to the missing boats in Roseport..." As John looks up from my reports he starts to focus onto Merle. I sit there patiently waiting my turn noticing the awful dusty office John works in. I cant help focus more on his dusty earth globe, dusty bookshelf and as i look closer to his dusty keyboards my eyes happened to notice on the left of his computer a box of half eaten dozen of donuts. Seriously do the janitors hate him too? "Go on Merle what did you find?" Merle musters out her words "Well, you see the boats actually didn't go missing." "Is that right?" John leans forward in interest only to have been blocked by his imploded belly. Talk about glazed donuts. "Yes, reports from sources within the coast guard have noticed ships changing course before sailing to the port." "Have they tracked where they're heading to?" he replies as he slowly grabs a doughnut from the box. "Well, it appears a spokesperson for the coast guard has actually hinted that these boats are heading towards Turtle Beach." Confused John mumbles with a mouth full as he slowly begins to lick his finger with out completely munching down his doughnut. "Turtle beach?" "Yes, Turtle Beach." Merle quickly replies as she begins to get slightly agitated with John's professionalism. With a loud swallow and a blink in his eyes he responds with. "Why would fishery boats head to Turtle Beach?" She replies as if she had just uncovered a huge mystery. "Turtle Poaching! It appears some fishery boats are avoiding the coast guard by not docking in Roseport and instead they head south to Turtle Beach to participate in illegal poaching. Then, once they are done, they head back to Roseport with the turtles hidden inside larger fish.  " "Why don't they inspect the fish?" I mentally face palm my brain as i could see that illogical question coming a mile away. "You see the fish companies in Roseport have the coast guard on there payroll. Hence the coast guard turns a blind eye." she takes a deep breath and sits back awaiting Johns reaction. In a slow suspenseful demeanor John stands up as bits of crumbles fall from his tie. "This is great work Merle! I need you and Lee to work together on finding out who is behind all this poaching and how they managed to get the coast guard on their payroll" he looks at me as with the sort of face that would hint towards a favor.. "I need you to stop being late. You'll help Merle investigate this story. Have this issue published on Sundays paper. Headlined 'Poachers Strike the Turtles, Coast Guard turns Blind" In an awkward pause we stare at John to see his awkward hand gesture . Crickets playing in my mind i looked over at Merle thinking she would frown hard but instead she had a little smile on her that complicated my readings of her. Did she like the headline? or did she get astound by Johns goofy hand gesture? Who knows. "Oh, Lee I'd like for you to begin by grabbing my coffee, you'll find me at my desk. You work for me now!" playfully laughing as we exit the office .   As my deep thoughts fade on what just happened  i enter the employ break room and notice Josh throwing his flirt moves at the new girl Sara. He quickly notices me and darts me way with the kind of smirk only a rolling stone could wear. He whispers"I think Sara has the hots for me my man." he quickly looks to see if Sara exited the room as he catches a shy glimpse of her curvy bottom. "You think everyone has the hots for you Josh, you should probably not poke the new girls and actually get some work done." Josh comes back "Did someone get all hurt cause they got a new boss?" he says with a mockery mopey face. "What? How-Did you find out?" "Well you do know Merle is a loud mouth."He chuckles as if he told me something new. "Yup, we know how she gets. I just don't want to mess this up. I mean what am i saying? I..." i started to think what i was going to say but realized i should keep some things secret. One  thing  im certain about is that Josh and Merle have one thing in common, they love to gossip.  Found that out the hard way at a Christmas party when i made out with an ex-coworker as half of the office was reliving a Christmas miracle in the other room. Long story short don't slap belly's in an office full of snakes. Poor girl never showed up to work again. "Look Lee i know you don't like to work with people but Merle is a good journalist and plus she is hot so knock this out of the park or her if you know what i mean!" Josh flashes me his signature wink as he walks away like a Don in the office. I swear he thinks he is some kind of hotshot around here. He certainly looks the part with his blonde and pretty boy face. Built tall like a model with a lean body and decently muscular torso i often wondered why he even works here when he could easy get a job that fits him. One thing he has is looks with no brains. kinda like a runner with no shoes.

As i place the coffee on Merle's desk she flicks her brunette hair as  she gives me a smile and slowly undresses my soul with her light brown eyes. "Ah, thank you, please sit." She grabs the hot mug with both hands and begins to gather her lips close to the mug cooling the coffee with her soft blows which then she pauses to take a light elegant sip only but burns her tongue slightly.. "Merle, i think we should be able to knock this one out of the park ayh?" with a light pause in thought she smiles and says. "This whole story could be a huge headline Lee so we'll have to work extra after work" Not sure what she is implying i quickly get some words out. "Whatever you need boss." as my voice cracks i recover with a cheesy smile. "Stoooop it."  she drags her words then recovers her pitch from what may had seem flirty.  "I am not your boss. We are partners. We will work together on this. Oh and we will definitely have to meet at my place Friday night to go over what we have found so far. So, get your investigations in before hand" "Your place?" Not knowing how to proceed with such request. "Yes, my place or would you prefer somewhere else?" I thought of my apartment as it got "Typical Bachelor" written all over it. I quickly tried to stutter some words only to get cut off. "We could go somewhere else if you're allergic to my two cats, Whiskers and Bob. Don't worry they wont bite." Completely frozen like a deer in headlights i managed to get a word in "Uhh, yea cats are fine..." I hadn't have a girl over my place since moving here. I didnt really know what to expect. I couldn't help but think how embarrassing it would have been if she seen my apartment. It has  boy written all over it with some iconic decor that only a kid would know about. The thought echoed in my head but quickly rejected. Besides my places isn't much of an attraction. Its only a one bedroom and its by the docks often loud ship horns wake me up in the morning. As i space out in my thoughts she quickly places her mug down. "In the mean time we should probably get back to work." As i get up to walk away she adds "Lee don't forget Friday ill text you my address!" "I wont."

  I walk away as if i was a teenage boy talking to my crush. I didn't really know how to handle the situation. Ive never been invited to a girls house before. As much as i wanted to ignore the natural feeling downstairs i couldn't help but to float back to my desk on a cloud of fantasy. Imagining some things that i am not proud of at this very moment. Her house though? I mean why Her house? Why couldn't we go to a coffee shop or maybe even a park. That's normal right? Two adults getting work done at a park in the evening? All i can hope for is that i don't make this awkward. I never really been good with the ladies. Definitely not like Josh. Perhaps i could ask Josh what to do but his loud mouth would have everybody in the office laughing. I cant let anyone know. As I drift back to my desk  I took a seat allowing my mind wonder into places i don't often get to visit in real life. I don't know why i imagined her and i, but the pure fantasy begun to operate on its own as my mind drifted in pleasure land.

[tournesls]

u probably don't want to read this is just me incoherently rambling on about how I hate school and complaining that life (specifically mine) sucks so maybe don't read

i honestly don’t know how I’m gonna make it through this second trimester. we don’t have semesters in my school or quarters bc we’re k-8 and I’m in 8th and fuck. these are gonna be the worst few months ever. after summer it just gets So Bad. summer is my favorite season GOD I miss her. my skin was clear, I was out doing shit, I was hanging out with my friends, I was pretty healthy and now fucking fall/winter comes and SCHOOL and BASKETBALL and everything goes to shit. I’ve played basketball since 4th grade and this is the first year I’ve been so unmotivated to do it. I love the sport, its the people on my team and the people that aren’t on my team that I hate! the only things Im looking forward to in winter are, my bday which the week after next (yay!), winter break LIKE DEADASS I’m on break rn and I’m anticipating my next one lol, and seeing brockhampton in February, and my best friend’s birthday because we’re gonna do something fun. but my grades are kinda slipping and shit’s becoming harder and I’m going to high school next year, and all my teachers are trying to prepare us and its too fast. my school is oh so special and we get to choose from 5 different high schools, AND MY TOWN IS SO SMALL IT DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ONE. the closest one is about a half hour away and it’s like the second to shittiest one (which would’ve been our default school) and the other closest IS the shittiest one and then all the good schools (that I’m going to have to go to thanks mum) are at least 40 mins away AND THATS EVERY MORNING AND AFTERNOON FOR FOUR FUCKING YEARS. and its just so scary. like we’re not even 3 whole months into the school year and next week people are visiting the shitty high schools (not me) to see what a day’s like there and if they want to go there and we have to choose a high school by the end of January and none of them feel right for me and I hate my teachers and I hate this program because its hard for a 14 year old to choose things and I wish we could all just go to this shitty school like every one else has FOREVER this just happened to start a few years before now and UGONGLKSNFKLAHNL. like my best friend who’s visiting the shittiest school next week (bc her brother goes there and her mom is practically making her go) got this question list and it said shit like “what do you want to do in your life/future” ass shit like WHAT? WE ARE 13 AND 14 YEAR OLDS WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW. MY MOTHER DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WANTS TO DO SHES 34 WHAT THE FUCK. I hate this, I hate adults, I hate that they had the decision to let us make our own decision. I hate that I’m so stupid and this is literally nothing IM SO LUCKY. I HATE NOVEMBER AND DECEMBER AND JANUARY AND FEBRUARY and I don’t really like march or April BUT I LOVE MAY AND JUNE AND JULY AND AUGUST and September and October are ok. I’m gonna post this under a read more because I’m so annoying and this is pointless and I deadass want to kill myself because I wouldn’t have to go through all this shit and my sister got taken away from my dad and the last time I saw her was a moth ago and I miss her so much and her moms a driggie my dads a SHITHEAD and I love my mom and i wish my dad loved me and fuck I’m so annoying like tonight? I WAS SO ANNOYING I was hanging out with my best friend and we just went to Walmart and tj maxx with her mum and I was just annoying and I love them so much they’re like my second family. and theres this kid in my class who has the stupidest name but he’s really nice and nerdy and called me LITTLE BEAR which is an inside joke but everyone thought he as creepy up until 7th grade when my friend got a crush on him. everyone called her weird and he said no to her when my friends asked him out for her and it was sad. now I think he’s kinda cute, my best friend thinks he’s cute and we talk about him a lot and he GOT SO TALL over summer vacation and he’s so weird but I got to know him over last weekend because me him and these 3 girls from my class are in this adventuring group thing with kids from another school and he never talks to us in class but me and two of the girls talked to him a lot and we went bowling and he was so nice and funny and I talk to him in school and I told him to watch stranger things. my best friend read our texts WHICH WAS JUST US TALKING ABOUT TV out loud to her mum and they said he liked me and that was weird because no one likes me and he likes this other girl I know and I’m literally so ugly and fat and gross but I’m trying to learn to love myself more and its been working out quite well. social media has actually been helping a bit (weird right?) but idk how I’m gonna get through school. if I cant get through fucking 8th grade then how am I gonna get through high school? life in general? idk what I want to do? I honestly can’t imagine myself outside of the school ive been going to for the past 7 years. I can’t imagine myself getting past the age of 14. I’m 13. I can’t imagine myself in college and I just recently went on a college campus for the first time and I loved it! but it was so weird, so scary. this 8th grade year is so different because there are so many traditions that get thrown at you because this is the last year you’ll be going to this school in this incredibly small town. theres going to spend a whole week in the woods with your class with no phones, theres fundraising for the class trip WHICH IS GONNA BE IN A FRENCH SPEAKING COUNTRY AND IVE BEEN TAKING FRENCH FOR ALMOST 7 YEARS AND I DONT KNOW SHIT (its in Canada) and theres so much community service and traveling and in band we have to perform for older people and I wish I could write this much for the essay I have due last week. the essay is about something I like and something that motivates me (lgbtq rights in schools and how to stop people bullying lgbtq students) I still can’t write it I just hate school and everything about it. I don’t want to go to basketball practice tomorrow but I have to and if it was just a practice id be fine but we’re scrimmaging and ugh I fucking hate my school SO MUCH and have I said how much I hate myself? because its a fucking lot. time goes by so quick and I just want to go to sleep but then everything will be wasted and everything sucks and Im sososoosososooooo tired and I’m so overdramatic and fucking immature and dumb and I think yes I am gonna post this maybe privately though just so I can read it after this winter and oh that reminds me of Kieveee when we had to write letters to ourselves that we’ll get before we graduate stg. I’m not ready for graduation I know ill cry . ill cry so much because when say I FUCKING HATE THIS SCHOOL I CANT WAIT TO GET OUT I actually mean I love this school its my safe place all my friends are here my classmates, though some are annoying, I love all of you and god I’m not ready to be a “big kid” and I wish I was a little kid again and I love u mr. m and mrs.s  and fuck Idont want to leave

ok goodnight school sucks and my life revolves around it

#laura's bs

[mazimekus]

EVERY year, President Muhammadu Buhari celebrates the Muslim big Sallah, known as Eid-el-Kabir, in his Daura hometown, Katsina State with his kinsmen and well-wishers.

President Buhari, the Emir of Daura, Alhaji Umar Faruq, among others, observing the two rakat Eid-el-Kabir prayers at the Kofar Arewa Eid praying ground This year the tradition didn’t change.

ADVERTISING inRead invented by Teads The only difference is that it was the first time the natives would be seeing the President in flesh and blood since he returned from London where he stayed for more than 100 days receiving treatment for an undisclosed ailment.

So controversial was the medical vacation that it was not only rumoured at some point that he was on life support, he was also said to be dead.

This created disquiet among Daura folks who comforted themselves with prayers that their kinsman will not die.

Relief came their way when Buhari returned to the country last month and decided to celebrate Sallah in Daura.

The President arrived Daura, penultimate Wednesday, in a helicopter from Katsina where he had landed in the presidential plane. On arriving Daura, his kinsmen gave him a tumultuous welcome as thousands of people waited to receive him at the helipad, hailing him as he walked to his home, a short distance away, amid tight security.

On Sallah day, penultimate Friday, natives trooped en-masse to the Kofar Arewa Eid Ground where Buhari prayed to catch a glimpse of Mr. President.

Despite the fact that security was tight at the praying ground and the natives were subjected to long queues by security agencies using sophisticated gadgets to screen them before being allowed in, they patiently waited to gain entrance.

Buhari arrived the eid ground at about 9:45 am to a standing ovation after which the two rakat prayers, led by the Chief Imam of Daura Central Mosque, Imam Salisu Rabiu, commenced and lasted two minutes.

The faithful, who were eager to see the President, ferociously waved at him and he responded by walking close to the barricaded area to wave back at the mammoth crowd as they chanted “Sai Baba”.

Earlier, the Emir of Daura, Alhaji Umar Faruq, who prayed alongside the President, had grabbed the microphone and, in excitement following the recovery from ill health and safe return of their son, said the natives were proud of Buhari.

He stated that God had put to shame those who were wishing him dead.

Faruq then prayed for the President to complete his remaining two years of his first term in power and another four years.

The Emir called on well-wishers not to relent in their prayer for Buhari to lead the nation to greater heights.

Buhari’s return brought relief to natives – 76 – year – old resident

A 76 – year-old Daura resident, who identified himself as Mai Anguwa Alhassan Chadi, told Sunday Vanguard, in an interview after the Sallah prayer, that Buhari remained their hero because of his pro –people nature, saying his visit had afforded the natives the opportunity to confirm he had fully recovered from his sickness.

“We are relieved to see him hale and hearty”, he said

Chadi said that, like most Daura natives, he was very sad and worried when Mr. President was away on medical vacation coupled with the raging rumour that he was dead.

“We are most happy with the return of Buhari to the country healthy and his visit to his folks for Sallah celebrations. I feel happy to the extent that, at night and sometimes till day break, I still listen to the radio to know how he is faring”, the septuagenarian said

“We were not happy when he was away on medical vacation to the UK. We were worried. But when he returned, we became happy and relieved.

“We were praying God to eliminate and destroy those wishing him dead”.

I can’t quantify my joy – Daura

Another native, 57-year-old Muhammadu Rabiu Daura, said he was excited with the return of the President and could not quantify how joyful he was.

Adnan Na Abu, who also spoke to Sunday Vanguard, described Buhari’s return to the country and visit for the celebrations as momentous.

“President Muhammadu Buhari’s visit for Sallah has electrified the whole town. Everybody is in high spirit”, Abu said.

“He made it a tradition to celebrate Sallah at home even when he was a military head of state. So it is something that has been happening for decades. But what makes this one different is seeing Mr. President in our midst after going on medical vacation and returning safely and fully recovered”.

To Ahmed Ahijdo Wali, Buhari’s visit added colour to the Eid – el – Kabir celebrations in Daura as people were jubilating that he returned safely from the UK.

“We performed the two rakat eid prayer with Mr. President and we saw him in good health”, Wali told Sunday Vanguard excitedly.

“Buhari’s visit for Sallah saw natives jubilating like never before. People were very happy. In fact, on his arrival, people in their thousands went to welcome him and so massive was the crowd that the President had to abandon his car to walk from the helipad to his house. And for the Sallah, people thronged the traditional eid ground, the Emir’s eid prayer ground, including people from Niger, just to see President Buhari. The occasion was most colourful”.

Why Nigeriens came –Kallah

The Treasurer, Buhari Youth Congress for Change, BYCC, Yawale Musa Kallah, who also spoke to Sunday Vanguard, confirmed that well-wishers from the neighbouring Niger republic joined Daura natives to celebrate the President’s full recovery from illness, safe return to Nigeria from the UK and visit to his ancestral home for Sallah, saying they also thronged the eid praying ground to catch a glimpse of Buhari.

“Daura was agog for the visit of the President for Sallah and being the first time after his medical vacation”, Kallah said.

“He arrived the eid ground to a rousing welcome and the prayer commenced immediately. After the prayer, the faithful waved to him in excitement. They chanted ‘Sai Baba’. He waved back to the mammoth crowd”.

Meanwhile, natives and well-wishers kept visiting the President in Daura.

Among the well-wishers was Governor Aminu Bello Masari who paid Sallah homage to Buhari alongside the Emir of Daura penultimate Saturday.

The Nigerien leader also visited.

The National Youth Service Corps, NYSC, members in Daura zone were not left out as they thronged the President’s residence to show their solidarity.

Strategic areas of Daura, including the road leading to Buhari’s residence, were decorated with the President’s posters, banners and billboard.

Buhari returned to Abuja on Wednesday.

Courtesy: Vanguard Newspaper

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