#And I feel really bad about it

[sonofshu]

ㅤ

#Most of you don't know #I was talking about one particular person in my system #And I feel really bad about it #I needed to protect her #And I'm the one who's attacking her #Her name is cadence #And she's a fucking child #I'm so so sorry to her #But no matter how many sorries I say it's never going to make up #I shouldn't be trusted with her #I shouldn't be trusted with myself #But I'm the last person who can take care of her #So I'll apologize and we'll have a nice long talk #I'm an awful person for doing this #I fucking knew that I can't help people and that I only hurt #I'll try to not be a lost cause #I'm sorry to everyone who cares about us #You shouldn't've seen us like this #I'll be a good person I promise #I've already done too much #You all shouldn't worry #I'm so sorry to everyone #And especially sorry to my partners #You all have been too good to me #Thank you all #For everything #I'll protect her from now on #If I get a better grasp on what's happening in the system #It should be better #Thank you and I'm sorry

[good-night-space-kid]

How to professionally say “I feel like my mind and body are failing me and it’s causing me to be mentally and physically unwell to the degree that I can’t do anything nearly every day”

#I keep having to miss my lab shifts because of stuff #and I feel really bad about it #but it’s all real shit #like I had an optical migraine and couldn’t see (I work at a microscope most of the time) #and my vertigo has been kicking my ass which means I’ve been joining class online because I can’t look between the board and my notes #and I have a hard time walking there because I have to sit down so I don’t throw up or pass out #but like. god this chronic shit fucking sucks #my stomach has been killing me too #and last night my whole back broke out in a rash and I’m still super itchy #I just haven’t been able to get a break all semester and it’s getting to me mentally

[pollenallergie]

guess who has covid 👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼👎🏼

#got tested for the second time this week #and this test came back positive #oddly enough the rapid test is the only one that came back positive #but uh yeah… i’m infected #and i feel really bad about it #i feel like i should’ve done more to prevent myself from getting it #personal #cassie feels shame

[tundrakatiebean]

Body stop spewing liquids challenge.

#katie is rambling 2k22 #unsanitary #today is already shit and I mean that very literally #it wouldn’t be so bad if I could actually fully clean up after myself #but I can’t like carry things downstairs to the washing machine #or get myself water or anything #so my brother is having to deal with a lot of stuff #and I feel really bad about it #bless him he’s dealing with it like a champ tho

[catskullery]

#posted on my uhhhh side art account on twitter and thought i should make it clear here too #since they've been coming out of the woodwork lately #carry on #the terfs are really in their feelings about this one <3 #really down in their hurt little ugly feefees <3 #my they pronoun scares them soooo bad too #awww it's okay little dumb dumb the pronoun can't hurt you here have a binkie

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[mroddmod]

everyone be quiet i'm manifesting

#the bad batch #tbb #star wars #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #tbb omega #tbb wrecker #tbb crosshair #tbb echo #tbb tech #tbb hunter #mods art #mods draws #my art #YAYYYYY ITS DONE #i've been tinkering w this for like a couple weeks now i think #just on and off #whenever i was nervous about their fates or just generally sad about them i would work on this #it was supposed to make me feel better but it would usually just make me more sad 😭😭 #but i still really like how it turned out!!! so that's cool #very self indulgent but!!! whatever #i think i'll add this to my inprnt soon too :) so keep a look out for that i guess lol #okay byeeeeee #ALSO THE NEW EP WAS SO GOOD #okay bye fr

[nimomo-mo]

Vent

#i had a mini argument fight thing with my friend #and i feel really bad about it #we talked about our childhoods and the child psychiatry journals #and i said that he had a way worse childhood than me and he refuted it saying we both had it bad but in different ways #and my dumb ass goes “at least i had love! your mom gave you money and left you alone and your dad was a severe alcoholic! you had an awful #childhood and mine doesnt compare“ #and like. hes been in this horrible family situation and hes cut contact with his mom and siblings and hes severely mentally unwell #he has had exes cut his arm into pieces and hit him and degrade him and everything #he got groomed like i did and i was hit too by my ex but mine didnt actually try to kill me #his ex cut him down the highway lane #and like. yeah my childhood was horrible. yea i was viciously bullied and groomed and raped and assaulted and my parents didnt get it #but my family is normal and never had issues with any addiction and unlike him i never had to hide under the bed because my dad was drunk!! #he was forced to stay up and get wayyy too little sleep at like 8 years old because his mom wanted to have company so she didnt kill herself #i feel really bad for saying he didnt recieve love even if thats what ive heard because this isnt love!! but he loves his dad now #and his grandma took care of him when he was at the psych ward due to sui attempts etc #and im just. i hurt him really bad by just saying like 10 words and i feel so guilty #but he really had one of those childhoods that is so dark youre impressed they're even alive rn #sure i was raped bullied groomed and screamed at for not getting my studies straight #but i knew my family loved me no matter what! even if me and dad were at each others throats due to him not understanding mental illness #none of my family really gets it since most of them are older and thus have the stigma of it being something you dont talk about #but they loved me and i never felt really unsafe except for some times when my dad screamed in frustration but thats understandable!! #my friend had a mom that tried to kill herself every month and left him alone to go live and drink with an abusive man 6/7 days a week #and his dad was an extreme alcoholic that made the whole family afraid and my friend had secret spots to hide when angry drunk #he also got bullied!! and when he was a teen he drank and did drugs!! because his groomer exes and trauma lead to it!! #but all of this is not my place to say #i feel so bad #its not my place to tell him that his childhood was absolutely rancid. im not a professional and i cant say anything about it #im literally just talking out of uneducated opinions and i hurt him really bad by saying he didnt have love as a child #my experiences are so different that i cant compare it to mine in a way that makes me really understand #i feel so bad and guilty. and i apologized and bought him a pack of cigs as a sorry gift and talked about it but i cant change the past

[theyhitthepentagon]

post from my priv sorry i cooked

#my truth #adventure time #finn mertens #<- nobody posts about him and i feel bad for other finn fans #i see the vision with trans boy finn but also its just really funny if hes cis #finn the human

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

#my art #feralnette au #birds of a feather #long tags #sorry I went apeshit in the tags #LETS SAY IT ALL TOGETHER NOW #I - M - A - G - OOOOOOOOO #its fun drawing marinette's back to Alya and having her appear stout and unstoppable and totally logical #and then you see her face and she's like two seconds from completely snapping and is keeping it together by a thread #as a note just because mari feels very certainly abt smth doesnt mean she's right. feelings can be valid and also irrational #in the throes of grief she decided it was better to be alone than to lose someone again so she started pulling away #and lila made pulling away very very very easy to do #shes also vaguely aware she's being unfair in pinning this on alya which is why she started spinning the drain on cockmoth again #legitimately all the shit that's happened to her wouldn't have been so catastrophic if he was never in the picture and she knows it #but the bitterness of her bestie choosing a fantastic liar over her at the worst of times stiiiiiings #alya's personal timing was bad but lila really took advantage of the fact that marinette had been acting off and weird #she basically clocked marinette as being unstable from SOMETHING and made up a lie about her #knowing she wouldn't have the strength to defend herself #between her social life going tachy bc of lila and losing fu in a way that felt like personhood death marinette was really put on the spot #and alya doing her thing of busting in there and assuming her bias is correct was a terrible combo #essentially marinette is highly unstable and alya is just realizing that #busting in and giving her a lecture when she's slightly hysterical and definitely delirious from exhaustion is NOT the way #to show her she's self sabotaging #cuz thats just gonna make her double down on self sabotaging. bc marinette will not accept that she is also a CHIIIIILD

[pineapple-frenzy]

Book 2 au: sparring sessions and short hair katara

They like to have sparring sessions in order to keep their bending skills sharp. They allow themselves to go all out and not hold back at all cause they know if anyone got hurt, Katara could just heal them

But anyways, wouldn't it be kinda funny if Zuko accidentally burned Katara's hair tho? Aofkqldkkajfjd

The "I think we can save the hairloops" line is from @linnoya-writes thank you for that!! :>>

#zutara #zuko #katara #atla #book 2 au #my art #i mentioned in my last book 2 au post that i wanted to include short hair katara into it and y'all were so supportive of it!! 😭😭😭 #so this is how i think it would go #it would happen as katara is trying to evade one of zuko's fire balls #she manages to avoid it but since her hair is long it still caught on fire #she'd be pissed so she water whips the hell out of zuko #and then promptly forgets about it akfhkakdkakdj #even after the sparring session she still hasn't remembered cause 'oh no zuko's in pain i have to help him!' #it isn't until zuko even mentions it that she remembers #zuko thinks she's more calm than i thought she would be after burning her hair so he mentions it to her #little did he know katara just forgor aldjlakdkaljd #n e ways zuko does feel bad so she offers to help fix it up for her #i think after the haircut katara would find herself looking in mirrors when there are any around cause 'zuko thinks i'm beautiful?? really? #zuko doesn't know this tho and he thinks katara is till sad about the unwanted haircut so he keeps telling her that she looks beautiful #and katara just keeps losing it aldjlakdlald #in conclusion they are idiots your honor

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji Goes To Lotus Pier AU: Part 3: Enveloping Feelings.

(Part 1, Part 2, Part 4 (soon))

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #lan wangji #Yungmeng Jiang training arc AU #I wanted to try out a different paneling style for this one - sorry I'm a day late! (there will still be a post tomorrow to keep on track) #The original 3 panel comic idea was fine but the point of this new schedule was to take time to push myself a bit more. #I was taking a look back through some comic artists I felt inspired by #and I really loved how Lynda Barry fills her gutters with patterns and doodles! #Obviously I'm not going as absolutely wild with it as she does but it was a great exercise! #I truly think the gutters are the most important and most overlooked part of any comic. There's lots going on in that space. #It's the same with timeskips. The implied movement between moments that we don't see changes depending on how wide that gap is #You're here for the funny tags so here's some that ties this time talk together: #I think LWJ was thinking about that second note from day 2 but it took him 7 days of hazing to commit it to paper. #I think he sends it a day later and immediately regrets it. Chasing down the messenger and everything. #You know if something actually happened to his brother he would never ever forgive himself for putting the bad vibes out there. #Third time skip was the hardest because there was so many possible flavours of jokes here. Day 8/9 was a personal favourite. #day 14 was also funny (week by week). I think the debate on 'how long does lwj take to catch feelings' is more or less: #'how long does it take for him to arrive at a particular stage of grief and yearning (and awareness of it all) #This is a symphony. There is an act by act structure. Every day he is fighting to keep his old sensibilities. He is losing so badly. #(I'll be returning to the main comic soon but there is more of this AU to come!)

[gellavonhamster]

One Piece Live Action + Tumblr text posts, 2/?

#onepieceedit #oplaedit #opla #one piece #one piece live action #black leg sanji #monkey d. luffy #roronoa zoro #monkey d. garp #buggy the clown #red haired shanks #dracule mihawk #mishanks #god usopp #don krieg #my stuff #this batch doesn't really have nami in it and i feel so bad for it #why is it so hard to find fitting funny posts for a female character on the website where about 1/3 posts start with 'girl'...

[verc0pa]

blew up his own domicile i cant believe him

#in which tech wakes up from the brainwashing and returns to pabu and realizes what he's done #aka silly drawing to mask the gutwrenching despair i feel about it all #this is how i cope #rip havoc marauder #fly high #but not really bc uh. you know #the bad batch #the bad batch fanart #tbb s3 spoilers #tbb tech #star wars #doodles #my art

[rapidhighway]

sanic ✌ for the au perhaps? idk

#sonic the hedgehog #sonic fanart #art #digital art #sonic #sth #fanart #ive been getting easily distracted from my aus recently which is horrible #but i guess im just too ambitious all the time and get scared -_- #idk ive been feeling really bad about drawing lately i just dont really feel good about any of my drawings rn #like i like this one but idk i just dont feel excited about it... #idk what to do abt it #id like to get into one of my aus for once #but i just feel nothing rn.. #OK WAHTEVERRR this was a cool pose #so i gave him so shoes to go with it

[chloesimaginationthings]

So why is Vanny so determined to get on Michael's good side?

It’s mostly because every one on one interactions they’ve had so far has been negative pff

#ask reply #there’s more to it too #I think Vanny in some part feels bad for Michael #She knows him and his family through video games and whatever Glitchtrap put in her head #so in a sense she has a need to make it up to him #She’s just really bad at it BAHA #which isn’t entirely her fault #I consider them almost a boss and worker dynamic #one day Vanny will have a good interaction with Michael 🙏���� #how does Michael feel about Vanny? #it’s complicated but he’s like a tired older brother