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#Am I losing my mind? Did I have a mind to lose in the first place? We're getting closer and closer to 50 days since I started this
konigslilcumslut · 1 day
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Ghost didn’t really know what jealousy was originally.
Given his standing as Lieutenant the most you’d get out of the dry ass humour having man was orders barked out and that same cold gaze.
Safe to say he never treated you any differently from his other soldiers so there would be no risk of jealousy right?
However…
The first time jealousy seemed to creep up on him, was when he spotted you with Gaz. At first it was just passing, not really understanding why or even how he felt the way he did.
But then it became a constant.
Any time he saw you too close to another soldier he’d grow stiff and irritable. Any time he’d catch you leaving the mess hall with a group of men he hated it.
Yet eventually you also became fed up with his behaviour…
So without thinking, not realising the consequences of your own actions (same) you burst into his private quarters, yelling “what the hell is your fucking problem?!”…unfortunately for you though…
You seemed to catch the Lieutenant at a bad time.
He’d just gotten out of the shower, in the process of pulling his mask back on but you saw a small glimpse of his face, water dripping down the chiselled lines of hard earned muscle and a towel tightly wrapped around his waist.
And when he locked eyes with you, you could’ve sworn there was something a whole lot more…feral to his cold gaze than just anger.
“The fuck did you just say to me soldier?” His rough tone would ring out, stepping closer as his gaze would remain locked with yours.
“What is your fucking problem?” You’d stand your ground, clearly a little too proud to stand down at the challenge you now faced.
There was a thick silence…heavy as the air around you both seemed to shrink until your chests heaved to get some oxygen to your brains.
“You.”
It came out clear and cold. Yet so undeniably heated.
“You are my fucking problem. You’re driving me insane. I see you with another soldier and the only thing running through my fucking mind is putting them in the ground love. You have no idea what you do to me.” His tone would grow lower, stepping towards you as his chest heaved and his eyes never waver from your locked stare.
“I look at you and I want nothing more than to shove you into the nearest room, rip that damn uniform off your body and fuck your pretty cunt till you beg me to stop.” He almost snarls his own words out, as if hating the fact he was even thinking it.
“I am a soldier. I am a Lieutenant, I have a duty to uphold but god damnit if you keep looking at me like that I am going to lose my fucking mind.” He was barely inches away from you, so close you could almost taste the self restraint coming from him.
“Either walk away or get on the fucking bed love.”
___________________________
To be continued….? If ya’ll want….?
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myojinn · 19 hours
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You'll Be Safe Here // 2 - Sukuna Ryomen
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You'll Be Safe Here ... Part of Cursed Spirit!Reader Series Heian Era!Sukuna Ryomen (JJK) x Cursed Spirit!Reader tags: SO MUCH FLUFF, soft 'Kuna, comfort summary: After seeing you on the brink of death—there was no way you were getting out of his clutches now. How will he protect you if you aren't by his side? a/n: Since the first part got a lot of love, I decided to make a part 2! I'm also thinking about making it a Cursed Spirit!Reader Series, so like full on one shots and drabbles here and there.
First Part | masterlist soon hehe
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All he could see was red.
And all he could hear was the agonizing screams for help of those he terrorized. But nothing else really mattered to Sukuna Ryomen after he saw you on the brink of death.
He'd like to believe that he was a level-headed individual—never one to be consumed by trivial things such as emotions. But he knew, at that time, he was driven by pure unadulterated anger...
... anger at the good-for-nothing scum that hurt you.
He never thought he could feel this strongly about anything. But then again, meeting you had opened up his eyes to unpredictable things. And maybe that's why he lo-
"Ryo! Hey!" He let out an annoyed grunt at the disturbance currently seated to his right... on his bed... in his sacred chambers.
"For a woman who almost died you surely are loud," he grumbles. He crosses all 4 arms and turns to look away, closing his eyes once more. He made it clear he wanted peace. But having you around made it impossible. You poked his cheek repeatedly. "Thanks to your reverse cursed technique, I think I can go back to my temple today." He swatted your hand away from his face to which you (convincingly) yelped out in pain. His eyes have never opened so quickly as they did now. A look of concern washed over his face while you (convincingly) pretended to be hurt.
He was about to take your hand to inspect it—heal it even. But before he could do anything, you laughed in his face. The soft gaze transformed into an intense glare. "Oh man... you really do care for me, don't you, Ryo?"
He folded his arms again as he grumbled to himself. You knew just how to piss him off. But even though he seemed irritated, deep down he was glad that you were back to your normal self.
He was fucking relieved to have you by his side again.
His silence piqued your curiosity. Normally, he'd have a quip for every move you made. But he just sat there, arms crossed and taking in every effort you made to rile him up.
You huffed your chest out.
Truthfully, the whole temple raid fiasco already put a massive dent in your ego... and maybe your image in Sukuna's mind. That's what you thought at least. So you made it a point to act as if nothing happened. You weren't planning to soften up and thank him for helping you.
Hell, you don't even remember the last time you uttered an expression of gratefulness.
But he also made you do things you usually would not do.
"Ryo... I'm sorry." He sighs and looks at you. You couldn't tell what he was thinking. Well, you could never tell what the great Sukuna Ryomen was thinking... ever. But your gut told you that this moment was different.
Something had definitely changed within him.
"You don't have to apologize. I've dealt with your craziness for decades now," he says flatly. You slowly shook your head. "I mean... I'm sorry I couldn't protect myself and you had to clean up after my mess." He sighed even louder. He always did that whenever you said something "stupid" as he'd call it. "I told you that it doesn't matter. I am the strongest, aren't I? You should only worry about losing if you were in my position. Say 'thank you' and move on with it." Of course, he didn't exactly mean for that to be affectionate. It was coming from a place of arrogance. But, nevertheless, it made you smile.
"Thanks, Ryo. I owe you big time." He raises an eyebrow, a faint smirk forming on his face. "You owe me, yes." You meant it as a way to emphasize your gratitude, but you didn't really think he'd bank on it. After all, the strongest sorcerer never needed favors from you. He always said you'd come in handy one of these days and maybe today was finally it. "Eh? So... what do you want me to do? I'll do anything just don't take the statue in front of my temple. Do you know how difficult it was to steal that?" His face contorted in confusion. No one in history had ever made him do that face, but you. However, you weren't sure if you should be glad about that fact. But you were sure that you loved that statue to bits. Sure, it was weird, but that's why you love it!
"Don't be ridiculous. I don't want that ugly thing near me." "Hey! I'll have you know it's a significant part of my temple."
"Significantly ugly, yes."
You were about to retort when he placed a finger on your lips, shutting you up. "As I was saying, you owe me—and you can repay me by simply staying here at my temple." You wanted to speak, but he pressed his finger on your plump lips even harder. "And no, you can't refuse." He finally drops his hand. "I can't just leave my temple like that. It was trashed and-" "I have already sent servants to clean it up and restore it." "What about my offerings? What if someone comes up and asks something from me and-" "I also have separate servants stationed there to gather any messages, offerings, whatever—and relay them to you."
"Wha-" He groans in frustration. "Woman, I have taken care of everything if that's what you're worried about. Give it a rest, will you?" You were hesitant at first, but the look of worry on your face quickly changed into a mischievous smile that he (loved) dreaded to see. "My, my, Ryo... if you wanted me to move in so badly you could've just told me. Goodness, was this part of your elaborate plan? Sending sorcerers to attack me so I can live with you?" This ridiculous humor wasn't new to the both of you. He had heard insane things come out of your mouth and he would never bat an eyelid. But after joking about him possibly indirectly hurting you evoked a sickening feeling deep in the pits of his stomach.
"I would never hurt you," he said softly.
The devilish grin on your face was wiped clean and replaced with an apologetic smile. "I know... I just... I was kidding, you know?" "Joke about anything, but not about me hurting you." Thinking about others hurting you was enough to make him feel sick. But you suffering at his own hands? It made him angry. He realized he had gone silent and that you were just staring at him with that same smile from earlier. "What?" he asked coldly.
"You're a strange man. You act so gruff, but you say things like this?" she laughs. "That's why I love ya." He was proud to say that he had never encountered an attack before that would surprise him. But the words you just spoke had taken him aback. He was shook to the core. "Shut up... you're staying here. Got it?" "Heh... say that you love me too first~"
You were annoying, reckless, and incredibly childish at times. You pissed him off beyond belief. But he couldn't imagine his life without all of your insanity. He loved you... maybe. He still didn't know exactly what 'love' meant. But whatever it is that he felt for you... he'd do anything and everything if it meant keeping you by his side.
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thatbitchery · 1 day
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Good morning, following what has been the laziest, least productive most chaotic month of my life yet I'm so excited for the end of whatever in hell May was and the beginning of the end of the first half of the year.
Quick question- how far are you with your new year new me goals? Hm? Louder? Thought so. Right, so the first half is nearly gone, nothing we can do about that, but the second half is HERE, ladies, and I will gladly police you if I have to on the condition you police me back. Yes you heard that right we are about to be accountability partners yay! Your goals- I'll force you into them if I have to, besties. If I have to be in your inbox at 3 am I will I have lots of time now it's no stress.
Join my accountability group by filling this form ;).
Now, darlings, here's the thing- over the YEARS I've had accountability partners to keep me on toes, I've learned a great deal of lessons, tons of which I will be implementing here.
You can't be accountability partners with someone you're friends or friendly with. Remember when you and your BFF/ sister decided you'll work out together? How long did that last?? Why? Because familiarity breeds disrespect, and accountability requires some level of respect and authority - that's why if your coach tells you to bench four you will but you can't make yourself. You lack authority over yourself. Which is to say for this to work- weeeeee caaaaaant be friends. We can't be friendly we can't be sisters we can't joke around it's office formality 101 that's the only way it works. Once you cross that line, log off, it loses its effect. Don't try make friends and stuff, it will ruin it for you.
Competition is a huge part of achievement. Healthy competition. You have to see X completed 6 of their daily goals and think lol I can beat that tomorrow I'll hit 7. Competition is healthy when it's personal. We don't need to know you're competing with us keepnit to yourself- but I suggest finding that one high performer and thinking lol nah I can wipe floor with you.
It takes roughly 28- around 56 days to implement a habit besties, you only need 2 months, so after two months it's bye bye. Haha. Love you, but we need to make space for others since its-
- since it's limited. A huge part of how these groups work is everyone needs to feel seen and heard, which is why I can only have 15 people on for starters (hence why the form). Dw after two months I'll see if it works and rerun it besties. The problem with large groups is the quieter, shyer people get overlooked when THEY are the ones that need celebrating the most. It only works when everyone , EVERY single ONE feels seen, heard and appreciated , that's the whole point, which leads to point 5-
You only get maximum 6 messages a day, thats it. You can only send 6 messages into the group. Why? So that a) it doesn't turn to a chat room, that's not what it's for we aren't there to male friends and share memes and b) important stuff don't get buried in the masses of junk and d) you learn to be mindful with your words and you intent. 2 of those have to be 1. Your daily goals when you wake up and 2. A reply to your daily goals to see how many you've hit. Those 4 extra , choose wisely how you want to use them.
Respect is the backbone of literally every single social setting. Like I said it's not a chat room , we don't care for your political or social views or literally anything that's not related to your goals. We don't. Mystery and silence are great reinforces of respect- just stick to the agenda okay? Okay.
Can't wait to see you there!!!
Fill the form here
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I can't stop thinking about dead boy detectives and Emily Dickinson ever since I saw Edwin and Charles' relationship unfold, these two boys whose deaths were covered up and "did not matter," as Edwin put it, and who have kept running from Death together for thirty years and counting; these two boys who would do anything to stay together. And I can't get
"I'm Nobody! Who are you? Are you - Nobody - too? Then there's a pair of us! Don't tell! They'd advertise - you know!"
out of my mind. Edwin and Charles as EdwinandCharles, together against everything that might separate them, looking into the world of the living from the outside but glad to do it together. They keep to themselves because, as long as they have each other's backs, it's always going to turn out at least okay.
Edwin and Charles cannot picture a world - an afterlife - in which they might lose each other, this bond they share of trust, harmony and loyalty. Emily herself wrote to her love Susan that she (I'm paraphrasing) that she might as well lose any other world, but she wants to continue living in the one in which she's together with her love. It's this utter devotion that we see in Edwin and Charles.
But also imagine Edwin reading Emily Dickinson's poems. I am not entirely sure when her poems might have been available in England, but I know that "I measure every Grief I meet" was first published in 1896.
I imagine him reading this poem during his time in school. He read it only once because this is the most he could bear, too real for him back then. He had suffered even before he went to Hell. He was bullied. His classmates would isolate him and cause him pain - they were the reason he eventually died, after all -, installed fear in him. The environment of the boarding school didn't give him any opportunity of respite, he couldn't get away and I doubt his parents would've been much of a help, if they had cared at all.
So, I imagine him quietly suffering, closing himself off because no-one seemingly cared enough to get to know him. Him barely talking, rather listening and watching what is going on around him, questioning whether everyone felt that way, so hollow and invisible at the same time, as if one wrong look would either go right through him or break him.
I measure every Grief I meet With narrow, probing, Eyes - I wonder if It weighs like Mine - Or has an Easier size. I wonder if They bore it long - Or did it just begin - I could not tell the Date of Mine - It feels so old a pain -
He has always felt this way, an ache he would tell himself he could barely feel anymore. Maybe he wondered as well how other people do it, living with a weight that drags you down and keeps you down, this dry sorrow that no tears flow anymore.
I wonder if it hurts to live - And if They have to try - And whether - could They choose between - It would not be - to die -
The encounter between Despair and Edwin is the reason why I thought of this poem in the first place. There are different kinds of grief, and despair is one of them, maybe that's why she might call upon Edwin someday.
There's Grief of Want - and Grief of Cold - A sort they call "Despair" -
Mostly I wonder what he would've thought, reading the last two lines:
Still fascinated to presume That Some - are like My Own -
Would he have been fascinated or would he have thought how unbelievably tragic this was? What would he think reading this after he met Charles? After he saw Simon again in Hell? Would it make him feel calm to see this written or sad?
No matter what it would be, I think him finding his way out of Hell (twice!) and Charles by his side have shown him that this pain does not define him, that there is always hope. And
“Hope” is the thing with feathers -
after all.
quoted:
"I'm Nobody! Who are you?" by Emily Dickinson
"I measure every Grief I meet" by Emily Dickinson
"'Hope' is the thing with feathers" by Emily Dickinson
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httpsserene · 10 hours
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𝖍𝖙𝖙𝖕𝖘𝖘𝖊𝖗𝖊𝖓𝖊'𝖘 2𝖐 𝖘𝖕𝖊𝖈𝖎𝖆𝖑
welcome to the table of contents for my two-thousand followers special !
i am actually shocked that i reached this milestone, considering my writing managed to convince people to follow me even though i have not been active on this account. you all bolstered me to 2k through two hiatus' that i did not announce, and that i do sincerely apologize for. the next time i plan to disappear off the face of tumblr, i'll give you guys a heads up: no more ghosting :) but seriously, thank you guys for the never ending support, and i will make sure i return the gratitude by being more present on tumblr, and writing more often!
as previously requested and mentioned, this special event is the daniel ricciardo edition. i believe a majority of you wanted a part-two of the overstimulation with daniel ricciardo / max verstappen x black!reader from my f1 kinktober series, which will be included in this special. i also promised a few dr3 fics to some of you that requested--so all in all, all of the daniel ricciardo thirst that YOU ALL requested is listed below the cut. i hope this is enough of a peace offering, and i hope you all enjoy xxx
if you would like to be added to this special's taglist, send me an ask or leave a reply. all episode upload times are at 12 PM EST on their release date. posts tagged as # httpss :// 2k special. all works can be found in my table of contents (m.list).
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𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐨 𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧
𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: it's his one-man show. you ask for danny ric, and he will always over-deliver. 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: daniel ricciardo x fem!black!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: assorted oneshots.
view playlist? ↴
Pilot: Over-Stimulation Kink w/ Daniel Ricciardo & Max Verstappen
You can't remember the last time you've gotten to spend more than three days at a time with both of your boyfriends. You understand how demanding their job is but, you just can't remember the last time they really exhausted you...pleasurably. And then winter break comes around, and they have all the time they need to make you lose your mind.
Episode Two: Say, "Cheese!" | facial | 5/31/24
The day she gets her braces off will be the best day of her life. Maybe all the years she dealt with insults, underhanded compliments, and men who wouldn’t date her because of them, would be worth it when she sees her perfectly straight teeth. Of course, it sucks that she has insecurities stemming from her braces; her boyfriend, Daniel, says that they “add to her beauty.” If she believed him, she probably wouldn’t hide her mouth behind her hand when she grins or laughs. Don’t worry—Daniel has an idea of how to make that smile of hers…shine.
requested! insecure!reader. soft!dom daniel. oral sex (male receiving). serene's fave.
Episode Three: Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss | fake orgasm | Date TBA
When Daniel isn’t feeling well, it’s no hardship for her to take of him. Except this time, he broke his hand and is proceeding to be an absolute nightmare to take care of. They haven’t had sex since before the accident in Zandvoort because she’s afraid that somehow she’ll end up aggravating his injury. Daniel, however, has convinced himself that he only exists to bring her pleasure. So, she comes up with a plan to soothe his service dom tendencies. Enter, Operation Fake Orgasm. How hard can it be? Spoiler alert: she’s a terrible actress.
requested! servicedom!daniel. vaginal sex. hurt/comfort. attempt at humor.
Episode Four: Tomorrow 2 | body worship | Date TBA
She’s the least favorite Formula One WAG. At first, she was optimistic, the fans would eventually start liking her—but that was a pretty naive thought. She’s constantly compared to Daniel’s ex-girlfriend—she’s not as pretty as her, she’s not as supportive as her, etc. Unfortunately, in a moment of low self-esteem—she breaks and thinks maybe the fans are right. Daniel comes home and sees you gathering every belonging of yours that’s migrated to his apartment like you’re breaking up with him. He tries to change your mind with his words, but that doesn’t quite reassure you completely; so he has no choice but to do it with his actions, too.
requested! insecure!reader. light angst. multiple orgasms. manhandling.
Episode Five: TSA | soft yandere | Date TBA
She’s too pure for him. She hasn’t been damaged by life like he has and he hopes she never will be. So, that’s why Daniel can never allow himself to be with her. He knows she’s convinced herself that she can fix him, but he knows the longer he sticks around, the more he’s ruining her. He finds it cynical: their relationship (or lack of one) reads like one of the books she’s obsessed with: right person wrong time or forbidden love. Daniel learns that it might be a little darker of a trope—like one of her books that she never allows him to see a page of.
requested! possessive!reader. mild angst. happy ending. morally grey.
Finale: K.O. ! | over-stimulation | Date TBA
Okay, Daniel may have won the first round. He cleared her dry spell with no problem and used Max to do it, too. That’s completely fine, she will never complain about experiencing some of the best orgasms of her life. But, Max (the man unable to not have the last word) coerces her into giving Daniel a taste of his own medicine.  As soon as they can manage to walk on two feet, without a wobble. Mark their fucking words. 
requested! part-two of the pilot fic. multiple orgasms. polyamory. bondage.
current taglist:  @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz @vetteltea @tallrock35 @iloveyou3000morgan @smartstupyd @spideybv28 @lh383 @loomiscorpse @hiireadstuff @namgification @gg-trini @whatamidoingwithmylife-ramdom @multi-fandom-rando @dreamingofautopia @jayswifee @megatrilss1885 @nanamilkbread @sophia12345678 @benstormy @userlandonorris @xxniallxxsworld @starfusionsworld @hangmandruigandmav @spicybagel14 @itsmiamalfoy @ineedafictionalman @everythingabby101 @valent1na-ferrari @vetteltea @dark-night-sky-99 @svinzlec @angelfreckless
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© httpsserene2024
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Who’s Afraid Of Little Old Me?
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Dbf Joel Miller x fem reader (previous) No apocalypse AU
Spencer Reid x reader
Based on Taylor Swifts song, who’s afraid of little old me.
Warnings- Angst! Lots of angst, reader has a breakdown. Arguments, Joel’s a dick!, cuss words, supportive parents, Spencer’s a sweetheart as always, mentions of infidelity, heartbreak, some suggestive thoughts, 18+, if you like a Dbf Joel happy ending don’t read this! Happy ending with Spencer though.
So this idea just kinda popped into my head after listening to the song over and over, so at 2am I hashed this out (probably terribly proof read), also I am nearly finished with Pretty little letters 2, which will be up in a few days :).
We’ve all had that one ex who lead us to temporary insanity during the break up. 💔
Word count- 3.4K
The scandal was contained
The bullet had just grazed
At all costs, keep your good name
You don't get to tell me you feel bad
… Is it a wonder I broke? Let's hear one more joke
Then we could all just laugh until I cry
… So I leap from the gallows and I levitate down your street
Crash the party like a record scratch as I scream
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
I was tame, I was gentle 'til the circus life made me mean
"Don't you worry, folks, we took out all her teeth"
Who's afraid of little old me?
Well, you should be
… You should be
(You should be) You should be
'Cause you lured me (you should be)
And you hurt me (you should be)
And you taught me
________________________________________
Numbness, the feeling you felt right now. He was explaining to you why it had to be this way, why he had to end everything you had built together. Your dads best friend, that’s who you’d fallen for, like an idiot you allowed yourself to be swept off your feet by this man. He initiated this, started this crazy love affair, yes you’d flirted with him but never in your wildest dreams did you think anyone would act on anything.
You’d told him as much when this first started, said this wasn’t a good idea, that you’d get caught, someone would end up hurt, or he’d lose his 11 year friendship with your dad. He assured you that you’d figure it out together, that he wanted you and he wasn’t going to let you go now he finally had you. He’d broken every promise.
Joel Miller, a man who was supposed to have honour, be someone you could trust in, he’d wrecked it all. “So that’s it? It’s over? You’re ending this now? After you promised we could work through anything?” You demanded.
“Yeah darlin, I’m sorry but it’s for the best, your dad is getting suspicious, and people in the community saw us together, we can’t keep givin’ them the grabbing somethin’ for your father crap y/n! This needs to end, I shouldn’t have let it go this far” Joel declares.
“Or we could just tell them we are together? That we care about each other?” You ask.
“No” he deadpans, “This ends now, I’m sorry y/n” then he walks away, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your shattered heart.
________________________________________
Days, you sat there in your window seat staring out into space, you went through everything over and over in your head, where you’d gone wrong, what had you done to cause him to break things off? He promised! Promised you’d get through it all, that you’d sort things out, and you believed him! How naive were you? You’d given yourself to him completely.
You felt ashamed, how did you let this happen? Surely you knew it could only lead to heartbreak. Memories of heated nights fill your mind, tender touches, deep kisses while he buried himself inside you. Tears sting your eyes once more, before you choked on full blown sobs. Burying your face into your hoodie sleeves you scream out in tearful frustration.
A week passes by in a blur, you decide to pull yourself out of this zombie state, deciding to go to the community BBQ this evening, you’d see him there and if you act like maybe nothings bothered you, he’d see his mistake and beg for you back? Or you’d at least get some closure.
You showered, put on your best little black sundress and gave yourself some Smokey eyes to complete your look. Heading down the stairs your dad seemed shocked to see that you were coming, “Hey kiddo! I didn’t think you’d be up for tonight, with how sad you’ve been. You ready to tell me what’s going on now?” He asks, “Boy trouble dad, I’ll be ok” you respond.
He pulls you into a tight dad hug, kissing the top of your head. “Well you know I’m always here for you kiddo right?” He asks, “Yeah dad I know, I’m fine I promise.” You try to assure him “Ok, come on then” he responds before motioning you out the door.
The BBQ was your typical neighbourhood party, people already drunk singing country anthems at the top of their lungs, kids running riot, their mothers trying to keep up. But there in the corner talking to his brother Tommy stood Joel, looking as handsome as ever as he was animatedly explaining something. You make your way over to him but stop dead in your tracks, his ex Tess walks out of the community hall and straight into Joel’s arms, he gives her a smile wrapping his arm around her shoulders, before continuing his story with Tommy.
You stood in absolute shock, it’s been 10 days! Just 10 mere days since he broke things off with you! The audacity! Was this already going on when you were together? You must have caught his attention in your current state, because he was now walking towards you, ‘fuck this!’ You think, before you turn around and run for the exit, shoving anyone in your way aside. “Y/N!” You heard Joel shout, “Y/N wait! Please let me explain” he continues, but all you can do is run! And before you know it you’d ran 6 streets over to your front door.
You slam the door closed behind you locking it and falling to the floor, as sobs wrecked through you, how could he do this? Was it all a lie?. You fell into your bed eventually, the tears wearing you out into a deep sleep.
________________________________________
You avoided him for days, he’d tried coming over several times while your dad was at work. You ignored every knock, every call, he’d even sent you a ton of messages.
Hey y/n
Please answer, we need to talk about this please!
Hey again
Look please I need to explain it all, please don’t tell your dad everything in spite. I know this has probably upset you, but I can’t have my name dragged through the mud here. I have a family, Sarah is your age, she can’t find out please.
And so they went on, you’d gone from sad to angry now, you allowed the burning embers of rage overtake you. How dare he! He should have thought of that before he started this, he doesn’t get to keep his good name, tell you he feels bad but to get on with it. No this wasn’t going to go down this way!
4th July celebrations were in progress, there was to be a whole day of it. Fireworks on the green, a community party, alcohol and EVERYONE would be there. It’s been two weeks since the BBQ, two weeks you’d ignored Joel and gathered up all your anger, tonight was the night you’d release it. To think you used to be so tame, so gentle and kind, he’d stomped it all out of you, you deserved closure. Was it closure though you seeked? Or was it revenge.
As you arrived at the party the sun was beginning to set, bright colours painting the sky. All eyes watched you as you walk through the crowds, most likely still wondering about your fast exit last time, or the determined look on your face making them all nervous. You make your way over to the bar ordering two whiskeys, you promptly neck one, letting the amber liquid burn your throat, before taking the other with you. Joel spots you instantly, leaving Tess’s side to come talk to you, panic written all over his face.
“Y/N hey, can we talk please? I need to explain things and then we can put this all behind us” Joel asks, you let out a humorous laugh “Put this behind us? You move on in mere days, and I’m to get over it? Did it begin before we ended?” You demand, “What! No! I bumped into her a couple of days after our conversation, look let’s move somewhere where less public people are watching” he offers.
“Ha! Why? Are you afraid of little old me?” You goad, while he stutters at your outspoken comment you declare,
“You should be”.
“What, y/n no come on we can sort it” he pleads, you hadn’t noticed your dad watching your exchange with worried eyes, nor had you seen him make his way over to you both “Hey guys is everything ok here?” Your dad asks, “Well maybe you should ask Joel that, how about it Joel? Is everything ok?” You sneer, “Buddy?” Your dad asks him, “Yeah everything’s fine, isn’t it y/n?” He asks imploring you to see reason.
“No, no it’s not, I’m sorry what did you think was going to happen Joel? I said at the start we shouldn’t have began this, you told me we’d sort through it. You made me fall for you, told me you fell for me too, then when things got hard you dumped me, moved on to her two days later!” You shout pointing at Tess, everyone was now watching you, hearing the raised voices. “Joel, please tell me this isn’t true” your dad implores, “I’m so sorry Dave, I’m so sorry, it just happened I never meant for it to go this far” Joel begs, a loud smack echos through the air, gasps heard from everyone as your dads fist connects with Joel’s jaw.
Tess comes running over now, and your dads loosing it with Joel “How could you! My daughter Joel! She’s the same age as Sarah!”
“I know buddy I know, I have no excuse, I ended things when I realised what I’d done, I didn’t mean to hurt her” Joel answers, “She’s only 20 Joel! You’re 48! Did you really think her emotionally mature enough to consent and then deal with the break up?” your dad bellows. Tess is the one standing in shock now, clearly she had no clue about you at all. “Well I didn’t think she’d act this crazy no!” Joel shouts, this time it’s your fist that connects with Joel’s face, his nose lets out a loud crack as your hand makes contact.
“Fuck you Joel! Never come near me again! Never call or message, stay the hell out of mine and my dads lives!” You state, “Dad can we go please?” You whimper “Yeah, of course darlin, come on let’s get out of here”. You turn to the crowd who are all still silent, staring at you in shock “What!” You shout, anger still filling you, your dad ushers you away from the crowds and into the car.
Once you’d arrived home your dad finally spoke to you, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Tears start falling again, “I thought he loved me dad, I though we’d work it out, then eventually tell you. I’m such an idiot!” You cry, he pulls you in tight “No sweetheart you’re not, you’re not. We will get though this, I’m here for you”.
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That was six years ago now, you’d packed up and moved up north back in with your mother, both you and your dad decided it was for the best. He didn’t want to see you go, but you weren’t emotionally stable at that point and you needed to get away from the ‘Situation’.
So after a lot of therapy, comfort from your mum and your dad, some self reflection and some determination, you graduated medical school with honours. You’d completely turned your life around, joined an amazing team at the BAU (behavioural analysis unit) as their resident pathologist.
Which is where you met a wonderful man called Spencer Reid. He was everything you needed in a partner, he was kind, sweet, attentive and he showed you off as his proudly.
You loved this man immensely, you’d been completely honest about your past, about Joel, and your break down. He’d in turn told you about his mum, all her issues, and his sad childhood. He also told you about his addiction that he’s overcome, you became each others rocks, one another’s biggest supporters, but most of all you made the other whole again.
Your parents loved Spencer, they disagreed with most things, but they both agreed that Spencer was perfect for you, he brought out the best in you and they were so happy that you were happy.
Walking into your shared apartment after a long day at comic con, you took off your matching Dr Who scarfs and cuddled up on the couch. “That was great fun! We should make this an annual thing!” You declare, “Yeah absolutely, did you know that the first comic con began in 1970 when a small group of comic book, movie, and science fiction fans from San Diego put on an event, only 300 people attended! And since then, Comic-Cons grown into the global phenomenon that it is today” Spencer explained, you smiled along loving his info dumping. He always gets so excited, and you love watching his face light up as he tells you whatever fact is on his mind.
“That’s so interesting! Well I thank that group of fans then, because that was super fun!” You reply, Spencer smiles at you before pulling you into a sweet kiss. “Have you decided what you want to do this weekend? Did you want to go?” He asks, tentatively moving a strand of hair from your face. “I don’t know, it’s hard because Mrs Harris has been next door to me and my dad since forever, it’s her 80th birthday party and I should go. But part of me still worries about seeing him there” you explain.
“I know, and I understand. But I will be there with you the whole time holding your hand.” He offers, bringing your hand up to his lips, pressing a loving kiss to your palm. “Yeah, ok we will go, but if I get uncomfortable at any point….” “Then we will leave” he states, you nod “Ok”.
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Arriving back in Austen Texas was nerve wrecking, your leg shakes in the cab back to your dads place. Spencer places his hand on your thigh to try and steady its shaking, “Hey, look at me baby, it’s going to be ok! You have me and your dad and we aren’t going to let anyone be mean to you” Spencer assures. Your sweet sweet man, if only it was that simple, you place your hand over his and give it a little squeeze, your way of saying I’m ok.
As you exit the car you take in the house you’d always called home, not much had changed. There was a new lick of paint on the exterior, some new plants out front, but all in all it was the same. You sigh, it was nice to be home again, for the last six years your dad had come to Virgina to see you, so you didn’t have any unwanted feelings arise, but now it was time. Time to put everything behind you, to get real closure and relinquish any power he still has over you.
The front door opens abruptly startling you, “There she is!!! My baby girl is home” your dad gushes as he pulls you into a big bear hug, “It’s great to see you again too Spencer” he adds. “Nice to see you again too sir” Spencer replies, “Please you don’t need to use sir it makes me feel old as hell” your dad laughs, causing Spencer to bashfully nod. “It’s great to see you dad, six months has been too long!” You admit, “It sure is baby girl! Ok let’s get you both settled in before the big event this evening” your dad says, grabbing your bag and heading inside. He was still a little worried about how you were going to get through today, even though you had assured him several times you were ok, that you needed to do this in order to fully move on from the situation.
Dressed up that evening you stared at yourself in your old bedroom mirror, flashbacks of this very same moment six years ago go through your mind, only this time you have Spencer holding your hand, the love of your life, your best friend. Also this time your dad knew what was going on, you had love and support, this time was different.
“You look beautiful” Spencer smiled, “I’m so lucky to call you as mine” he admits pulling you against him, hands cupping your face as his lips meet yours in a loving kiss. You shake your head, “No it’s me that’s lucky, because I have you” you whisper against his jaw, nuzzling your nose against his neck, letting his scent comfort you. “Come on then, let’s get this over with” you declare, “Ok baby, remember what we said?” He asks, “Yup three squeezes to your hand and we will leave right away” you recite, he nods at you guiding you out the room and down the stairs.
You arrive at the community centre and take it all in, the last time you were here your heart broke, but holding Spencer’s hand you actually felt ok, there were fairy lights webbed above your head, twinkling in the night air, lighting up the courtyard. Mrs Harris stood by food table helping herself to all the sweet treats, you huff a small laugh under your breath, some things never change. Walking up to her you see her face light up “y/n! It’s so good to see you dear, it’s been years! How are you? And who is this handsome young man?” She asks, causing Spencer to go a bright shade of pink, “Mrs Harris! Happy Birthday!” You say as you give her a warm hug, “This here is my boyfriend Spencer, we met at work. And yeah I’m good thank you! Life is really good actually” you smile.
“That’s great my dear, you deserve all the happiness you get, I hear you’re a Doctor now! What an achievement, your dad must be so proud!” She gushes, “Yeah bless him, I work for the FBI now as their pathologist” you explain, “Wow, that’s impressive, well done you! Well make sure you come say goodbye before you leave dear, maybe pop over mine for some tea too?” She asks, “Yeah I’d love that” you confirm.
Walking off you smile at Spencer, you hadn’t even noticed Joel yet, but he heard and witnessed the whole conversation, he’d heard you went to med school but didn’t know you had actually become a Doctor, nor that you had joined the FBI. That’s probably due to the loss of friendship with your father, he watched you with sad eyes, you hadn’t even noticed him yet, so swept up with this new love of yours.
You on the other hand had taken to the dance floor with Spencer, giggling as he twirled you around and pulled you in close. What had you done to deserve this wonderful sunshine of a man, he brightens up every dark corner of your mind, guiding you through and back into the light. You look over his shoulder and your eyes meet with Joel’s, you offer him a nod, one to say hey, and it’s ok I’m over it, I’ve moved on. This causes a searing pain in his chest, he hadn’t moved on, Tess left him that night after the truth came out. He’d realised he did still have feelings for you, he just got in his head and ran off like a scared little boy. A decision he bitterly regrets, looking at you now you’d truly gown up into a mature, brilliant and beautiful woman, despite the pain he’d caused you, you’d blossomed into a force to be reckoned with, a Doctor and an FBI agent.
You however felt closure, real closure this time, one that only develops after learning to love yourself, from realising you are enough and you can do anything you put your mind too, having a loving supportive partner helps too. You smile up at Spencer, resting your forehead against his, life has a funny way of working itself out to be the way it was always meant to be.
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eirianerisdar · 15 days
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As a Chinese person from Hong Kong I'm going to officially say this absolutely blows my mind. Here's why.
In the video, Charles and Carlos were plainly copying calligraphy stroke-by-stroke from a large image in front of them. What makes Carlos' attempt so impressive is that he's effectively gotten nearly all the proportions, starting and ending brush pressures and tail-offs, and the structure right. It's not perfect. But it's damn well near perfect.
Compare it to Charles': Charles didn't do a bad job at all, and has successfully copied many of the requisite features, but he has seen each stroke as a line, as many people who write Chinese characters with ballpoint pens do nowadays - point A to point B, with natural loss of shape and flow in between. It's not necessarily a problem. Charles is writing the characters. But interestingly, Carlos isn't writing at all.
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On rewinding the video you see why Carlos' was shaped so perfectly. He doesn't know Chinese. He doesn't know anything about stroke order, or speed. But he knows detail.
If you look at his hands as he writes he separated each stroke into a shape. Then he did his level best to recreate each shape as carefully as he could by pressing the brush until he could see it formed the right thickness of the line.
He didn't write, like Charles did. He painted.
If this is how good Carlos is at copying a language he does not know I wonder how amazing he would be at painting if he actually spent time to learn.
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girlwiththegreenhat · 26 days
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the fallout tv series is THE best screen adaptation of a Video Game... ever.
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miramisaki · 2 months
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58(???) days until Charlie...
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writing the words?? to the BEST love song you ever heard?!?!! sounding out FAMILIAR characters??!?!??!!!
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cinnamon-notes · 28 days
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i have been ghosting my friends for idk a month??? and they have been doing the same??? except for when we meet in a workplace cuz somehow our jobs decided to cross over :)
#feeling so bad about it but like i cant bring myself to interact with people right now but i am also constantly sad because i dont interact#with anyone out of work :/ but working makes me socially exhausted & tbh all i wanna do is be depressed with my books & my movies &my tunes#but i also crave affection like i realize i have zero social life and i sometimes schedule some hangout with my friends but it's almost#become like idk a task? something i look at through work eyes. like- i arrange our hangouts the way i arrange work meetings. it's so sad.#i know it is. but still- i cant help it. through all my life ive been missing having a lifelong friend who knows me like the back of their#hands and i know like the back of mine. never had it. cant cry over that. it's passed. i cant invent lifelong friendships that never existed#and i gotta make peace with that. plus- what am i complaining about if im just incapable of keeping any friend for longer than a month???#after the first month- maybe the first couple of months- it all gets boring and dont get me wrong i really love my friends but somehow they#lose interest in me and i lose interest in them and we become just people who know each other and occasionally hang out but like- i've never#had a friend who's there for me when things happen in my life. i've always had friends to tell things to afterwards. like- i know i cant#really pick up the phone and say “hey. im having a bad time. can we take a walk? talk on the phone? can you tell me about your day? can you#just be here for me?“ and i cant even idk just randomly pop up with a ”oh my god i hate him i hate him i hate him it's a whole montague vs#capulet but if romeo and juliet never existed kind of hatred!!“ i just cant vent right away. ive always thought that that's my problem.#and maybe it is. but still- how's come they can vent to me? im always there right away. i do love my people and i show up for them.#sometimes my depression makes it soooo difficult to hang out constantly but if there's one thing that cannot be said about mw is that i dont#care. cuz i do. and maybe that's the problem#and maybe it's just easier for me to care than let others care? idk? but then again- i did try to open up. i did try to let them care. i did#try everything by the book & off the book but still- idk it's always just an “im sorry” never an “i care so much to say more than im sorry”#and yeah it's my problem cuz i am not a constant person im not that steady in what i do. i still dont know if it's because i havent found#yet the people worth doing it or if i am just traumatized (my ex is knocking on this door lol) but- idk it makes me extremely sad!!!#and ive rambled on way too much but i jusg needed to let some things out of my mind cuz i cant understand whats wrong with me and why i#crave true friendships although im hella scared of and bored of and unwilling to nurturing one :)#cinnamon diary
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angorwhosebabyisthis · 4 months
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underrated genre of character playlist entry: songs a character would relate to because they do not understand their situation, themself, or the song itself well enough to realize it is not accurate (and might well straight up be a callout for people like them). which song is your blorbo's fight club
#whosebaby talks#general fandoms tag#shitposting#genuinely this is one of my favorite things to put in a character's playlist#for one thing i seem to like characters who listen to The Plagues and go WOW COOL BLOODTHIRSTY VENGEANCE FOR A WORLD THAT'S WRONGED YOU#and miss or ignore the part where it's meant to be tragic and moses is devastated because they're people and it's his home too#pericles is the first one that comes to mind because the autisms are autisming all over sdmi currently#but he's definitely not the only one#the only thing is it makes me a little itchy because it makes me wish i could put a little note when i share a playlist that#'no this playlist is not about them being a misunderstood hero they just have a severely distorted view of the world'#sometimes because 'misunderstood hero' would be uh. uhhhhh. it would sure have Implications with some instances#but also because No That's Wrong!! the distortion in their pov is what makes them a good character!!! in my own interpretation or otherwise!#pericles loses So Much Depth if you just play his understandable and even admirable traits as unironic instead of twisted and warped#and gone horribly wrong thanks to how his flaws and external life circumstances t-boned those positive/reasonable traits + motivations#where did he make his own choices to lean into it when he did have the agency to do otherwise#(see: i think in the newniverse; without the entity's influence; the very things that make him such a terrifyingly effective force)#(which are his primary expression of being an evil piece of shit due to his trauma and external circumstances and his reaction to them)#(and the choices he makes about them; would make him an equally effective force for good because they'd make him an *amazing* activist)#'i am my own definition of a vengeful righteous hero dishing out justice against real evil' is his extremely warped idea of what he's doing#he thinks he's the main protagonist of hell's coming with me and he's. not. he's just enough steps to the left to be a horror instead#anyway i love him and i love assigning songs like this your honor#professor pericles#SDMItag
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jedibinx · 1 month
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Writing, writing, something, update
Okay so what's happening with my mind ramblings? This:
Finding NetherRealm finished today (I'm sad) - BUT for those who have been reading it, tune in tomorrow for something o_o
All That You Are Is All That I Need - ch7 was published today so we're halfway through already
Coming Up:
I wrote something that, I dunno... it was on my mind, and I've been having a crisis of the brain variety recently and I just thought Kris would make a pretty cool counsellor and so I wrote something that resembles an exploration into the psyche and relationships and thought processes and it links in to... something, but it feels different to all my other stuff. Anyway, "Skylar" will be published starting 15th, a chapter a day for ten days. I'll put all the necessary trigger warnings on it when the time arrives. I wrote 12K words in three days on this so I dunno, it fell out of me.
Okay, nice.
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bitterbelphie · 6 months
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{{ today. as if my laments were being recorded and sent discreetly off to a very specific place in the universe.
my brother dropped by to say hello at work. and he gave me.... my old phone, working again and full of all the things i need/want to transfer. lets fucking go. }}
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transgender-catboy · 8 months
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This is my girlfriend :3
#i'm gonna lose my mind#you seeing this? Jesus Christ. i#i think.#i thiiinnkkkk....#maybe I'll spam some tags so i can go into detail about some things that i like and . think about.#yeah. that sounds like a great idea. that way anyone who's just scrolling by won't get blasted with my fuckin gay thoughts first thing#:3 and to the goobers who actually read all my crazy man tags#why? just curious. i uh. i don't know why you do. i appreciate you supporting me and my current (and let's be real. permanent) obsession#but why? anyways. different train if thought now. him.#did you know he's 6'0? that's decent height (he's a whole foot taller than me)#he's . pretty.#and handsome#and uh. um. cute and stuff.#<.< >.> is anyone looking? no? okay cool so. HELLO AGKSJXHDVBSJDHKSVSNDHK#FSJSVSJGDJDGFSVBDJGGGRRRRRRARFARFARFARFARFBARKBARKBARK#AH#gorgeous man!!!!#th the look on his face in the gif has me twirling my fuckin hair and kicking my feet#such a dad look. god. i am weak... so so weak. i have one (1) inappropriate thought to say.#...but I'm shy. BUT ALSO I KNOW MY DORK FRIENDS ARE GONNA TEASE ME ABOUT IT#AH FUCK. no WINNING. I jjust gotta say it. shit okay okay. gotta psych myself up and just say it#i. i think uh... um. (>\\\\\\<) i think maybe he likes holding hands during sex. big on the small gestures even during such intimate moments#there! that. counts . right? i dont think i have the guts to say anything else right now.#god i am such a loser for this guy _| ̄|○#forgive me and all my embarrassed ramblings. i am but a simple dumbass with a crush. it can't be helped#okay. i uh. i think thats all for the rambling tonight. (-\\\\\\-)#thanks and sorry if you made it this far. also holy shit. i promise im not some blushing virgin. i have experience#I'm just an idiot. thats all#okay goodniiight#ily . predictive text wanted me to say ily maggot. sorry about that. it's faggot but ya know
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fingertipsmp3 · 11 months
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Why is my granddad messaging me and shading my uncle
#my uncle’s business was featured on a youtube channel because he and various other people at the business collaborated with a local artist#on a very (physically) big project#(i’m being deliberately vague to avoid doxxing my uncle)#and tell me why my granddad was like ‘he’s doing so well. i didn’t know he had it in him’#sir THIS IS YOUR SON#you invested in his business!! did you do that thinking it would fail#i’m ngl it sounded like kind of a bizarre idea when he pitched it to us all; but it also sounded like an untapped market & something that#could be a goldmine in the right hands. and it does seem to be in the right hands#i was just like ‘yeah i didn’t expect this either but it looks great’ and left it at that#i am once again asking when me and my uncle traded places as ‘the successful one’ & ‘the black sheep of the family’#i would never suggest that there’s a correlation. but also since my uncle started his business; i have been mugged twice#my mentor who i trusted tried to ruin my career and did succeed in making a lot of people lose respect for me; i had to leave the only job#that accepted me because they tried to make me work thrice as many hours as i was being paid for and gave me zero support#i was unemployed for months and losing my mind and finally had to become a barista and just as i was starting to enjoy that; i dislocated#my knee & sprained two joints in the process#oh and it wasn’t the first time!! i’ve actually dislocated that knee four times. all during the time my uncle had his business#let’s not even talk about how i got covid 3 times or all the shit that happened to me in 2021 because i really will scream#2021 literally had it in for me in every single way#i literally think my uncle was being dunked on by the universe but he found a way to dodge the curse and he has no descendants#so it just passed to me. i need to hand this curse over to a child#maybe i should just start a business. doing what though 🧐#personal
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