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ciaonicole85 · 9 days

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Part 3: What Then?

This was supposed to be a three part series, but it will probably be 4 or 5 parts. Sydcarmy is a tangled mess of intense care interlaced with anxiety and denial. So they need HELP from their friends and family along the way! Here's a convo with Natalie and Carmen. It takes place just a few days after he found out that he'd made Sydney's best meal ever. Then he inadvertently confessed she's the best part of his day and his heart's dearest wish...j/k, but not really ;)

On a brisk Monday afternoon Carmen rang the bell at Pete and Natalie's home. The doorbell's speaker answered back, with Natalie's hurried voice. "It's open Bear! Just come up to the nursery." He entered their home noting the new family photos hanging on the wall leading up the stairs. They were black and white shots with Pete and Nat walking into the hospital, the next just after Baby Angeline was placed in Natalie's arms, another with Pete and the baby, one shot of her curled bitty toes, and the last was all three of them in the hospital bed. Pete had hired a hospital photographer and as antithetical as that was to anyone with an ounce of Berzatto blood, Natalie let him do it. The result was so unexpectedly tender and beautiful that he paused on the stairs to soak it in. Pete is really a good guy. He was made from an entirely different mold than any man Carmy had grown up around. "Carm?!" Natalie called. "Coming." He turned into the nursery to find Natalie bundling up "Angie" and fastening her into one of those baby slings. Then with one fluid motion before he could speak, she slipped the sling over his shoulders. "Okay, Uncle she's yours!" "So, how does this work?" he asked, looking down at his tiny niece, his eyes as big as beach balls. Angie blinked back at him extremely unbothered.

Natalie rolled her eyes and chortled.

"It's already working. It's fool-proof! Okay, let me get my coat and we'll head out." They strolled down the older suburb's tree-lined streets past others pushing babies, walking dogs, and the occasional Amazon delivery truck. "Carmy, this is really nice and you're welcome to drop by anytime, but what did you want to talk about?" Natalie enquired. He had texted her the other night asking to discuss something important. He kept his eyes on Angie's blissful little face, swallowed, and began. "I'd like to split my share of the restaurant with Syd. She's put in so much work, took several months without pay, and even though I'm the EC she's the main developer of at least half of the menu and the weekly specials. When I was sick recently, she ran the place like a pro. She deserves it. Also, I think if I give her a financial stake she'll stay for at least 5 years. We need that. What do you think?"

Natalie contemplated him for a moment. "Well, part of me agrees and the other part...Carmy, please don't get defensive." "Nat. How can I not when you’ve said that?" "Is this a solely a business decision? Because if it isn't I don't think you need to or should do this to keep her. " Carmy stopped walking, his face falling with frustration and shame. "Have you been talking to Richie?" Natalie stopped and took his arm in hers. "No, I haven't. Look, sorry. What I meant is things are so good between you two." They resumed walking. "Yeah, and that's a problem?" "Not at all. The way you are together...maybe it's the hormones but I've cried sometimes because you are just yourself with her. I've never seen you smile so much with anyone else. Your freakin’ posture is more relaxed when she comes in the room. I could go on, Bear." "You see all that? What about-what about her? Am I any good for her?" he asked in a low, wistful tone. Natalie pulled his arm tighter. She paused, to choose her words carefully. She and Camry were no strangers to family interference in their love lives. "Well, I haven't known Sydney that long, but she tends to spiral, and she pushes through until she's sick or lashes out. Kinda like you do. I noticed that it’s gotten better though. Since we opened, you've been consistently checking in with her, collaborating with her, encouraging her, making her take breaks, and pouring time into her. She's far less doubtful; she believes in herself."

Carm nodded slowly, reflecting on Sydney's growth. "Well, she deserves that. I promised her that she wasn’t alone in this. My focus was not where it should’ve have been during the reno and Friends and Family.”

He exhaled heavily and went on.

“So, it sounds like she lights up my life and for her, I'm a good boss or even her big brother."

Natalie shook her head, smirking.

" Yeah, you’re a great boss now, but little sisters don't look at their brothers the way Sydney does you. Do you remember when we were all talking in my office and you spilled hot coffee on your shirt? You peeled it off and the poor girl looked at you, as your sister it pains me say this, like she wanted to jump you. When you left to get a clean shirt, she didn't remember what she had been saying." " What!?!? Okay...." Carm scoffed trying and failing to suppress a huge smile. "Also, does she ever leave before 11 instead of sitting in those greasy whites with you every single night for how long? One to two hours!?" She continued. "My point is if you want to divide your share with her because it's good business and fair, and I agree it is, then let me do it too so we're even. Otherwise, I think you’re already three-quarters of the way there with her. She doesn't need to be bought."

They walked in silence for a few minutes. "Natalie, I understand, but I still want to split my share. I think it’s the right thing to do. You don't need split yours though." "First I don't want the largest share of the restaurant and second.... Pete and I may move to be near his parents next year." Natalie bit her lip and glanced at Carmy worry etched in her brow.

"We think it would be good for Angie. You know, to be close to her grandparents and she'd have young cousins nearby too." Carm squeezed her arm, missing her already. "Yeah, I met them at the wedding. They were...Pete’s parents for sure. Angie would have a normal set of grandparents around." Natalie took a deep breath, a gamut of emotions crossing her face. "Choosing Pete was the biggest act of rebellion of my life. I honestly felt repulsed by him at first, until I realized that he was real, and I didn't have to be on guard all the time. Angeline should have that from the start." She bent over to kiss her baby's head which was protected from the cool air by a lilac-colored beanie. "Sydney's a really good choice too. Businesswise and/or otherwise. So, if you're certain about this call Uncle Cicero. This won't change anything with our loan repayment, but his lawyer could help draft a contract. Then we'll ask Sydney if she wants to accept and if she refuses...just give her one of those Sydney-land stares of yours."

Carmy groaned. "You did talk to Richie!"

Natalie erupted into a storm of giggles. Carmen dropped her arm.

"Look, he started it. I told him to chill, but that Sydney-land thing...You have an season pass, bro! It’s very cute though.”

Next time on "What Then?"- Sydney's workversary (work anniversary)

#the bear #sydcarmy #sydney x carmy #carmy the bear #carmy x sydney #sydney adamu #carmen berzatto #syd adamu #fan fiction #natalie berzatto #fluff

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beanzfandoms · 7 months

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Hi! I just love your works, they are so good! Do you think you could do Winchester sister who really likes Boba but she doesn’t get it often due to their lifestyle, then one day either Sam or Dean suprised her with one? Thought it would be so cute!

Boba, How I've Missed You!

A/n: Hello, thank you so much for the request! I'm really sorry it took a bit to get to it; life got quite busy. I hope you enjoy this though! Also, thank you so much! That means a lot and I'm glad you like my writings! <3 Fun fact, I've never had Boba before, but would love to try it at some point! | ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── |

Being a Winchester was definitely no easy feat. Constantly moving from place to place, there was no guarantee that you could indulge as much as other people would. Though (Y/N) was the youngest out of the Winchester family, she knew what kind of responsibility that her family name carried.

The good thing about being with her brothers though, is that they both have a sweet tooth just like her. She enjoys it when they are able to take a breather and stop by a coffee shop or bakery to feed their cravings.

(Y/n) recently found that she loves Boba and will take any chance to order it. Her brothers find her giddy nature over a sweet beverage endearing, and though they make the excuse that they need a cup of coffee, they love to make their little sister happy.

Those memories are some of the bests (Y/n) has; however, they don't come around often. Her family has been quick on their feet the last few months, and with the stress that carries over her brothers as of late, it's hard to say when those memories will come to reality again. (Y/n) knows what is more important and keeps to herself as her brothers' work.

However, there was one night where her brothers were in a more chipper mood. They were talkative over their TV dinner, joking around and bringing up past experiences.

---

"Really, Dean? You just had to bring up THAT moment..." Sam snorts, his brows furrowing in a pout.

"It was hilarious, Sammy! Of course, I'll bring it up. You had coffee all over you," Dean laughs before taking a big bite of a chicken tender.

"Man, I miss going to coffee shops. I haven't had Boba in so long," (Y/n) giggles, "It's been a hot minute."

The sudden silence between her brothers causes her to stiffen. They're both staring at her with unreadable expressions, frowns etched on their lips. (Y/n)'s heart skips before she shakes her head frantically.

"I didn't mean anything by that, I'm sorry! I know we've been busy..."

"That's okay, Squirt. I miss those moments too," Deam says, leaning back. "We gotta get back to it at some point."

"Man... How long has been now?" Sam asks to no one in particular, "It has been a while, hasn't it?"

---

That next morning, (Y/n) woke up to the motel room being empty. The sun was already peeking through the curtains as (Y/n) lazily ventures to it, looking out to see that the Impala was gone. A sigh escapes (Y/n), but she couldn't help but to bite her cheek. Her brothers would usually tell her if they were going somewhere, and though uneasiness tried creeping into her thoughts, she busied herself by getting ready for the day.

As the girl climbed out of the shower a few minutes later, she heard the front door open with her brothers' voices carrying soon after. She takes her time dressing before a knock is heard.

"Hey Little Bit, you almost ready?" Dean's voice resonates on the other side of the bathroom door.

"Yeah, hold on!" (Y/n) answers before opening the door. "What's up?"

"Sammy and I got you something," Dean smiles.

Sam walks over to his siblings, his own lips forming into a big smile, before gesturing to something in his hand.

"Boba!" (Y/n) cheers, grabbing it and taking a sip, "Ah! How I've missed you! Thank you, guys!"

"No problem, sweetheart. We know how much you love it," Sam says.

" Come on, you two! Stop with the chit-chat! I'm ready to dig into that Pumpkin Roll!

#fanfiction #supernatural x reader #dean winchester x sister reader #sam winchester x sister reader #supernatural x sister! reader #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #platonic reader #wholsome #sister reader #Winchester x sister reader

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nickelstudy · 4 months

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JLPT N1 Experience

So first of all, Happy New Year. It has been a while since I've updated this blog. I've been feeling depressed in the past few weeks, I think it's because of drawing? I feel like I haven't been performing well in art, and that it's hard to accept painful truth that I cannot please everyone- not that it matters on this blog, but it's WHY I decide to take some time to write an update here.

I was supposed to talk about my first experience with N1 but I got busy after. I caught up in many stuff, I guess, plus I was busy with my birthday and helping my family's work throughout the month. But now that it's over, let's talk shall we?

Before That

I haven't talked about my last week strategy, here's what I did.

Stopped learning Kanji and do the drills instead

Finished Shinkanzen Grammar in the first section. I had some days left, so I skimmed through the second section without doing the exercise (I did for A - D i think but- I definitely shouldn't)

Borrowed these two books (pic below). For reading, I did every bit of every question style (there were like 6 of them right? Short passage, Long, etc.)

And for listening, I tried to rush through it but I kinda gave up with the chapter III or IV I'm not sure.

I switched between two of them on the last day

FYI the blue book is actually fantastic! I think I've said it before but it has explanation for each answers. I think it's super cool.

Now For N1

Chapter 1: Before exam

For context, I travelled to the exam location alone, so I wasn't bounded by anyone and I could roam anywhere. I got out early, and arrived there pretty early. But walking from the entrance to the exam spot took a while, to the point where I doubted to myself if I was going in the right direction. There were many people there already. I think the morning peeps had already entered the room when I arrived.

I had lunch and... wander around (Typical Pikmin Bloom player). There wasn't much to do anyway. I decided to take a quick review of some onomatopoeia and other vocabs. I think at that point, nothing is more important than vocabs. It was a while before they allowed us to go up the building. Anyway, I SAW A KID in a highschooler outfit in front of the same room as mine! IM- I DON'T KNOW?? HOW DID YOU MANAGE TO BE THIS GOOD AT THAT AGE?? And of course we entered the room. I sat not so far from the entrance.

One thing that bothers me is the fact that they never announced to bring a mask but they asked everyone to wear it in the room?? Luckily, I had it on already.

Chapter 2: The Exam

Sorry for the long introduction haha. SO, starting off with vocabs, grammars, and reading. I skipped to grammar secion first because it's not too hard or too easy. It's all fuzzy now but I did okay(?)

There was あっての that's pretty easy. But there was one of them that bugged me and I was wrong on that one too. It's といたしまして... so weird, I didn't expect it to answer that. ALSO, HONORIFIC VERB CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD but i think i answered it right.

Then onto reading section because I was really scared if I couldn't finished it. It- took me a while to finish each of them but in a fair amount of time. It's like 10 minutes left that I switched to doing vocabs with a lightning speed because I FORGOT there was a fill in the blanks and not just guessing kanji's reading.

I almost got 誇張 (こちょう) wrong as こうちょう

There were 奇跡、偏り、矛盾、賄う、軽率 in which i had no problems

Filling the words is where I had problem due to hurriness. I missed the ��挙 cause I don't know the word.

見返り too, because there was a word that I thought it meant (repay) and not the first

I GOT ONOMATOPOEIA WRONG ANYwAY HECC YEA i didn't know what つくづく means so i went with きっかり or きっぱり im not sure

Also there was a sentence that was supposed to mean "His body condition was..." I thought it was "worsen" so I went with 崩れる except no it's the opposite "ほぐれる". I didn't know that word but i've seen it before it's the goodamn spirit's name from the game.

I didn't know what 尺度 means or how it is read but I got the meaning substitution right (yay) (it's standard)

Here's the fun one. デマ... THIS WORD THAT I NEED TO GUESS HOW IT IS USED WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING ITS MEANING. I tried to came up with the word this word could come from. Dermatologist? Demand? Theme??? (that's テーマ) I had no idea and got it wrong eventually. Can you guess?

It's "Demagogie", a German word meaning false rumor... WHO WOULD'VE GUESSED. I asked one of my Japanese if she knew. Of course she did. She even gave me an alternative for it too... but I forgot. I only know that's it in katakana (im sorry)

Last minute i left one Mondai randomly answered!

For Choukai, it was so goddamn fast. I am certain that if it wasn't fast, it would be manageable for me. I honestly don't know if I scored it well or not, the last listening part were as hard as ever. ONE THING ABT IT THOUGH, there was a part where they were talking in a cafe about how the shop owner use a coffee beans? I think?

ANd FOR GOD'S SAKE WHAT'S WITH THE BACKGROUND MUSIC??? My concentration was popped away, I kept glancing around wondering if what I was hearing was someone's phone or the tape's music. I don't even know what the question really was to be honest.

What's Next?

I- I don't know. I just need to wait for the result. But I'll try to slowly get back to learning a bit Korean and Japanese every day again. Probably need to brush up Memrise and Anki. At least 5 mins a day haha. Thanks for reading til here. Keep on learning! I'll make sure to do my best for learning languages this year too!

I don't have new year's resolution but I guess.. continue ASL? I got busy that I have no time to do it anymore. I doubt if I can do it, considering I'll be busy with internship next academic year.

Anyway, have a great year everyone. Hope you have a good luck and success with studying and anything you are willing to pursue this year.

#JP #JPlog #log #studyblr #should i even tag this idk lol

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whateven333 · 5 months

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How would you have made bonkai canon?

Sorry it took me a while to see this, (even though I was super excited when I saw this -first ask I've gotten 💖 !!!) I was just super busy with Uni stuff, -then when I did see it, I ended up procrastinating for a good few days thinking about how to answer lmaooo, because I've seen how other people have come up with great ideas for this question already and then I felt too much pressure 😭.

Erm, but here I go anyway...🤸🏾‍♀️🥴😺😶‍🌫️

So, I would have them fuck in the prison world.

I know what you might be thinking -I took this long to come up with THIS.

And yes. Yes I did.

...

Okay but maybe also,

I would have definitely loved to see them spend longer in the prison world together.

Kai was shown to be a smart character...MOST of the time, and I think this may have just been another example of inconsistent/ sloppy writing on the show, -but, it never made sense to me how he gave up the ghost so quickly in terms of how he didn't seem to put much effort into stopping Damon and Bonnie from finding out about his sibling murdering stuff. Like, I would have thought, since he had been watching Bonnie and Damon, he had an understanding of how they might react if/ when they found out that information, so you would think maybe he'd try to put off them finding out for as long as possible ? I mean, how hard is it to trash a few newspapers ? But idk, maybe he was thinking -"why put off the inevitable" ??

BUT, had he managed to do so. It would have been an interesting way to make Bonnie less hostile to his advances, I think she definitely would have still been deeply mistrustful of him, considering he would still be..-well, the way he is, (he has that sly, mischievous, aura) and cocky attitude, -and we know Bonnie does not typically fall for that sort of schtick.

However, not knowing he murdered a handful of his siblings probably would have left her way more open to getting to know him- even if it was just out of curiosity, and if they had taken maybe a bit longer to find out how to get out of the prison world/ or maybe Bonnie’s powers hadn’t come back fully and she needed some more time to get back to full strength in order to be able to do the spell to get them out, then Bonnie would maybe have had more moments of prison world boredom (and probably enough irritating digs from Damon) to drive her to interact with Kai more. This could have been a gateway to get them to bond a little, show more moments of tension between the two of them, he would maybe insert himself in her sessions of trying to train her magic back to full strength under the guise of wanting to be helpful but just really in order to facilitate more possible touchy moments like the chest thing lmao, he could’ve shared some gemini spells with her, etc.

And so all of this could have led to what I jokingly (fine, half), said at the start -we could have all this lead up to a super charged moment that leads to them having sex in the prison world. Maybe Bonnie won’t find out about Kai’s past until they all make it back out to the real world, which would lead to a lot of inner turmoil for her (she was the only one of her friends who could say they hadn’t fallen into bed with a mass murderer, but not anymore). When Kai merges with Luke, due to him having had more time to bond with Bonnie, I’d imagine that his hyper-fixation and guilt about Bonnie would be way more intense.

And then…there should be more to this explanation, there’s probably weird gaps in here and maybe not all of what I’ve said even makes sense because I have to admit I’m writing this whilst super tired and it’s 2am and my brain is like starting to buffer and I think this is all I have for now.

But, I really hope this answer wasn’t complete trash anon 😭, (I have no experience with writing any fics of my own, though I am interested and have started dabbling, let's just say its been a little rough lmao -though I am having fun and will keep trying at it, so we'll see what happens, I guess.😭)

Thanks so much for the ask though 💖💖

#bonkai #bonnie bennett #kai parker #ask

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fire-bear · 24 days

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I'm Not From The US!

@fortheunicornchild tagged me in this ask set, so I'm posting the answers here. (Sorry it took so long, been a busy week.)

1. favourite place in your country? I really loved the times me and my family were on Skye and there was this really nice wee restaurant in Portree. I think I just liked the illusion of isolation (there's a bridge that connects the island to the mainland).

2. do you prefer spending your holidays in your country or travel abroad? When I was younger, we couldn't afford to go anywhere, so I spent all my holidays in Scotland, with a few days out into the very north of England (specifically around Hadrian's Wall). So, now that I work and have money of my own, I prefer to travel outwith the country when I can, especially since I want to go see the world.

3. does your country have access to sea? We're an island, baby.

4. favourite dish specific for your country? Haggis. Usually with broccoli and tatties (not a big fan of neeps).

5. favourite song in your native language? Technically, my native language should be Gaelic and I don't know many specific songs of it. But I do love listening to Gaelic singers. Such a melodic language, really.

6. most hated song in your native language? None, I guess.

7. three words from your native language that you like the most? Failte - means welcome. Usige beatha - literally means water of life, or whisky. Ceilidh - a traditional night of dance, super fun.

8. do you get confused with other nationalities? if so, which ones and by whom? Not really. I suppose people just think I'm British, which is also true, but I consider myself Scottish first.

9. which of your neighbouring countries would you like to visit most/know best? I'd like to go back to Norway. I went once, for a week, on my own, a week before everything really opened up. There was a bit of snow too, and I wasn't really prepared since I somehow thought that it must have been spring by then. Anyway, I'd like to see what I missed and also go to the fjords, since I was mostly in Oslo.

10. most enjoyable swear word in your native language? To be honest, I don't really know any Gaelic swears offhand. I'd have to look it up. But, in English/Scots, I do like "bellend".

11. favourite native writer/poet? Robert Burns. Gotta love Tam O'Shanter and To a Moose.

12. what do you think about English translations of your favourite native prose/poem? Burns's stuff is in Scots. If you translated it to English, that would be sacrilegious.

13. does your country (or family) have any specific superstitions or traditions that might seem strange to outsiders? Up Helly Aa - a Viking festival that happens in Shetland. Most of our superstitions and traditions are probably widely known, or so I think. I suppose people would find it strange that a Viking festival is still being celebrated in a non Nordic country.

14. do you enjoy your country’s cinema and/or TV? Yeah, there's loads of fun things! "There's been a murder."

15. a saying, joke, or hermetic meme that only people from your country will get? "Gonnae no dae that?" - "How naw?" - "Just... gonnae no."

16. which stereotype about your country you hate the most and which one you somewhat agree with? I suppose everyone having red hair is something I disagree with - I mean, it's pretty rare. I'm not sure which one I would agree with, probably how friendly we're supposed to be. No idea, really.

17. are you interested in your country’s history? Yeah! I've always loved going around Scotland and learning more about its past.

18. do you speak with a dialect of your native language? Not really. I speak English.

19. do you like your country’s flag and/or emblem? what about the national anthem? They're the best! Love them! And our national animal is a unicorn.

20. which sport is The Sport in your country? Football, unfortunately. But rugby is a close second, I guess. Oh! And we're pretty good at curling. Oh, oh! And we're the home of golf, I guess. But most people are concerned with football.

21. if you could send two things from your country into space, what would they be? Myself with some Irn Bru. Or, a kilt and some bagpipes.

22. what makes you proud about your country? what makes you ashamed? We tried our hardest not to be in the UK centuries ago. And the Treaty of Arbroath was apparently the precursor to the French and American declarations of Independence. And, for ashamed, a lot of Scottish entrepreneurs and businessmen basically became slave traders and I think they kick-started it? Whether they did or not, most of the slave traders were Scottish, I think, though I'd have to look that up to confirm.

23. which alcoholic beverage is the favoured one in your country? Probably beer/cider/lager? I don't really drink, so I don't know which is which. Although, I remember drinking a lot of vodka and soft drinks, so... 🤷🏻‍♀️

24. what other nation is joked about most often in your country? Probably the English/Americans, about equally.

25. would you like to come from another place, be born in another country? Nah, I'm fine with Scotland, even if we're still stuck in the UK.

26. does your nationality get portrayed in Hollywood/American media? what do you think about the portrayal? I suppose. I guess Scottish people get romanticised a fair bit. Or made fun of in the Simpsons, but that's hilarious.

27. favourite national celebrity? Ewan McGregor. He was at a con I was at once and I watched his panel and he seemed lovely.

28. does your country have a lot of lakes, mountains, rivers? do you have favourites? Yup. So, so many. Though we call them lochs. Not got a favourite, really. I love the scenery in Scotland.

29. does your region/city have a beef with another place in your country? I suppose the west of the Central Belt and the east have a sort of rivalry. But it's not that serious, more of a joke.

30. do you have people of different nationalities in your family? Nope. All Scottish. Though, apparently, my ancestors on my dad's side were Irish at once point.

#asks

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20-th-centurygirl · 10 months

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I saw a while ago you mentioned joaofelixes deactivated but had another blog with Jude fics? Do you mind sharing the username? You, judeswhore and joaofelixes are my fave writers on here 🥹

sending u so so many kisses right now 😽😽 its @judesluvr but i think she's taking a little break right now. also i'm sorry it took so long for me to answer this!!! i've been so busy the past few days

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lokisprettygirl · 2 years

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Slumber Island cast a spell on me. This island and its inhabitants keep my mind busy...and talking about spells, I can't get rid off the feeling that the island is maybe cursed.

I've so many questions and some theories about what's going on there 🤔 and everything I wrote down here is a mixture of what we've learned in the last three chapters. I'm sorry that I didn't structure it chapter by chapter 😅😵‍💫

First of all I loved how Loki sang for y/n to calm her down. I absolutely love him for that. Poor girl was so scared and it was incredibly beautiful of him to comfort her. I absolutely love his behaviour and his empathy. He has a good sensitivity of her feelings. I also love him for taking care of y/n when she was sick...and I don't think that his brews are kind of poisoned ...and Loki with a sexy hair b7n in y/n's kitchen ? Yes, please thisiswhat I need 😉😍. I can't and I don't want to believe that he wants to hurt her...

Nonetheless it drives me crazy that Loki's answers are always vague. It seems he knows alot but can't and don't want to tell y/n. When y/n asked him how long he has been there on the island, he offered her a cup of tea instead of an answer, when she asked him the other day, he said he has been there just a few days. But he also said he was something like a part of the committee? Also he seems to know everything about the island. After a few days?? That doesn't fit and is sus 👀👀. He knows alot ...and I don't 😂😂

Loki smoking...hmm not sexy but very sexy somehow 😆😏

...he won't die anytime soon? What is he? An immortal being? A god? Are the people on this island something like a sect? Live they a cult? A cult around a special...God? Around something holy? Do they worship a deceased leader? Minola built this community, a committed community with a classical distribution of roles. Was Minola THE leader of it? Or was she a sacrifice? What happened to her? Is y/n a sacrifice? "They" chose y/n?? Why?

"...Besides, people don't seem to like me here, what is it about me?" "Absolutely nothing, you're perfect darling, that's why you are here, they (the island's people, right?) wanted you here...that's why they choose you. " It wasn't exactly a lie but the truth behind it was disturbing... and I guess this truth is the reason why she won't return to the mainland again to meet her therapist... and according to the last line of chapter 5, Loki knows it all 😳😢

Has the choice something to do with her mother, who used to worship the god Loki? What does it mean : they ( ?? him and they from her former home, right? I'm a bit confused here) took everything from you 🤔?

"...he smelled good though, a bit like sandalwood and it calmed your nerves, that's the incense stick your mom used to light around her place"... I'm wondering if there is a connection between her mum worshipping the god Loki and our Loki here or if it's just a coincidence 👀🤔😏

Why do they all avoid her house, except Loki? He knows about the screams of the lady, it's definitely not the wind, he just tries to tell her otherwise! When she looked out of her window (she saw the face, I'm sure there was someone, a real person out of her house...maybe the woman who didn't greet y/n back and seemed like she wanted to talk to y/n??) and gawked at her shirtless guitar tweaking neighbour 😏🥵😏 it's clear, he heard the screams too because he looked at her like he wanted to check if she's okay...and I'm sure she didn't duck to the side quickly enough... and again, somehow he's always there within reach, his house all lit up like a lighthouse in the dark.

Is it Loki's duty to get her trust because it's part of the plan?

Was she choosen because of her past? Because she seems weak, broken and easy to manipulate? And because she has no other family or none that she was close with?

I'm afraid she's going to get hurt again.😭🥺She's going to open up to Loki. She likes him, is attractet to him but she's distant at the same time; he's always on her mind 🦋🦋🦋, it's obvious and she wants him to be close. (I can't blame her, who wouldn't be attractet to such a sexy guy next door 😉😏😍). When she took his hand it's a really big step for her. And he didn't scare her like other men do. I have an idea why she isn't scared of him in general but I don't share it yet. And it's a horror ROMANCE , it's obvious that Loki develop feelings for y/n. I love how sympathetic he is, he always respects her boundaries and her feelings and accepts her behaviour, he tries not to tower over her and let her be taller than him to make her feel more secure.

"His heart felt heavy, you seemed terrified and he wanted to help you but he had to get close to you in every possible way, it surely wasn't part of the plan but if that's how it was supposed to happen then he absolutely wasn't opposed to it. 👀👀👀 It has been a long time since he found someone he wanted to get close with like this. He didn't know what it was about you, you were beautiful, sure, but he wasn't new to that. "

Him being kind of subby will be important later in this fic, I guess, when it comes to the romantic part between them...'cause he knows exactly what she needs and what it needs to make her feel comfortable...he won't let her feel helpless then.

But it's part of the plan to get close to her, to gain her trust? And he said she needs a friend, especially here on this island? He wanted to hold her and calm her down when she heard the screams again? "This wasn't how it was supposed to happen"

And then this: "...this made him want to walk up to you and hug you until you would start to feel safe and loved...maybe. This wasn't part of the plan, he was just supposed to do what she wanted him to do, she deserved that after all 👀👀👀👀 but he was just a man and he had feelings too. Feelings that he knew would get him in trouble 👀👀👀👀

Wait wait wait wait, what? SHE? Who is SHE? Minola? Were they a couple maybe ? I don't get it anymore 😅😂 my brain is going to explode🤯🤯🤯🤣🤣. Ohhh, this is all so sus 🤨...

I absolutely get her reaction when he touched her, when he grabbed her hand. She's deeply traumatized and so scared especially of men and it was a kind of reflex, an instinctual action when she slapped him. Loki get it too, he didn't give up on her , instead he blamed himself for it. And again he respected her boundaries. It will take time for her to let him come closer. But when she grabbed his hand...this scene was cute 😍

"...he wanted to do do much more than just hold your hand....he wanted you to take what you needed...he wanted to be the one to be commanded this time..." a little sneak peak what's going to happen in the future 😉😊 and it's cute and mindful, too.

"Something really horrible had happened to you. He knew that very well."

How did he know? Only because of her behaviour or is there another reason for his knowledge 👀👀

Does Steve literally have blood on his hands? Why does he always smells of blood and death? Is he a butcher? Does he slaughter animals....and humans too 😱😱😱...to sacrifice them...I don't think he's evil but maybe it's his part he has to play in the community....yes, maybe I'm going too far here 😂😂 but this story is also a HORROR romance 😜💀💀💀. He's definitely sus too. He seems to have a crush on y/n but some things he said to her seemed inappropriate and weird and he definitely didn't notice y/n's discomfort like Loki did. "...but once you ...become a part of this community and what they have to offer you'd never want to leave" he said...as if he himself didn't believe a single word... wait...what? 👀👀 and y/n a lunatic? That was mean and rude 😠

Y/n made some bad decisions? Yes, and one of them was definitely to take Minola's picture to the basement 😳😱

Oooofff, this got quite long, my mind is a mess now...like this comment. I'm so sorry 😅☺️. I jumped back and forth through the chapters but ...but I had fun writing it all down to get it out of my head. 😁

I hope it's not boring for you, in the worst case you just laugh about me and my ramblings 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤪🤪🤪 and I'm absolutely okay with it 😂😂😂

I'm absolutely hooked with your story, I love the atmosphere you're creating here, my Queen 👑 and I can't wait for the next horror -romantic chapter 🥰. I love you 💚💖

🤎💀🤎💀🤎💀🤎💀🤎

I swear I read it 4 times to get everything and most of the things are unanswerable even though in my head I'm like "noooo that's not how--" "waittt he said that because--" 🤣🤣

It's nice that he is doing things for her that makes her feel comfortable around him even not knowing at times like smelling a certain way or even the scent of the cigarette smoke, whether it's on purpose or he has ill intentions behind it will be revealed 💀

And if the concoction was poisoned she would get worse instead of getting better ,why did she even get sick in the first place 👀

And yess 😅 his answers are always to the point and it appears to me he doesn't want to lie to her, first meeting when she asked him if he was in selection committee he said that "something like that" not a yes or no.

Yes when she said they took everything from her she meant the people from her past. Her mother's death is connected to all of that.

His house all lit up all the time gives me such a eerie feeling and I wonder if it's coming across that way 💀

Is Steve evil or he's conflicted? We will find out, I think my answers will confuse you more 😅

About the Sub loki thing

He's not necessarily going to be like "oh yess spank me mommy" 🤣🤣🤣 but more like submissive in his demeanor around her, I'll explain it well when it comes to the sexy part, he understands that she feels unsafe and for some reason he's hell bent on getting close to her.

That being said thanks for all the theories, truth is definitely there and we will get to it 👀

I love you so much my dear 🥰💚 I'm so glad you're enjoying this story.

#asks #mcufan72 #the night screams at the slumber island #chapter 5

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direwombat · 7 months

Note

3, 7, 31, 33 for OTP Ask: JakeSyb! 💕

asd;fljkasdf sorry i took so long getting to this i have had A Past Few Days of busy. but here it is and thank you so much <3 <3 <3 (also sorry this got kinda long too)

3. How would one another describe their partner?

i've actually been thinking a lot about this one, so i'm gonna do a little writing exercise here wherein each of them are confiding to someone else why they fell for each other*)

*unrealistic because both would rather eat glass than talk about their feelings

"Well he's strong," Sybille scoffs, rolling her eyes and taking a drag. "But not just physically, y'know?" She exhales. "Resilient. ... he's loyal. fiercely so. He's a soldier; a fighter. And that means he'll do whatever he needs to protect the people he cares about. There ain't many of those. It's...an honorable privilege." Her voice begins to quiver and she blinks back tears. "One hand's all you'll need to count how many people he'd be willing to die for. And to be one of them...well it makes a girl feel special if i'm being honest." She blows another puff. "Ain't had many people in my life who'd do that for me. He...he makes me feel safe."

"She's strong," Jacob says matter-of-factually and crossing his arms. "Capable and persistent and fuckin' stubborn." He shakes his head, and leans back against his desk. "Christ is she stubborn," he chuckles fondly. "Pain in my ass half the time but I wouldn't want it any other way. She's brutally efficient when it comes to getting the job done. Reliable. She doesn't need anyone to protect her but I...I want to anyway. I trust her with my life."

7. Who loves it when their partner kisses them good morning?

answered here!

but the tl;dr of it is they both like it, but when they were in their catching feelings phase, jacob really liked it because he would pretend to be asleep when syb would kiss him good morning/goodbye before she slipped out of the vets center in the wee hours of the morning (because if she knew he knew she did that she would stop lol)

31. Who kisses the inside of their partner’s palm?

ough i mean i feel like it's something they'll both do. jacob gently swipes his thumb over her cheekbone, she takes his wrist and presses a kiss to his palm. jacob is fucking into syb and she'll reach up to cradle his face in her hands, he'll grab one of her wrists and kiss her palm. it's one of their smaller, more tender and intimate gestures. also something that they only ever do in private

33. Who would they love to go on a double date with?

this is such a cop-out answer and i'm sorry but i really don't think they're the type of people who really do double-dates. in their canon-verse (katc) by the time they actually "officially" become a couple, like...nobody likes them. i mean. there might be a handful of resistance members still willing to talk to syb but for the most part she burned those bridges. they r...friendless losers <3 (besides i don't think jacob likes it when he has to share syb's attention with other people, the possessive bastard) in a no cult au i still think this applies, less because no one likes them, but more because i don't think there's much overlap in their friend groups so it would just be...awkward...so they just go on dates where it's just the two of them

#had to add action tags to the lil blurbs in the first one. because they express just as much physically as they do verbally #r: define your meaning of war

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softxsuki · 10 months

Note

Hey Han!

- 😇 here

How are you doing? I hope you're taking care of yourself? (If you're not, then please do!)

First of all, the new theme is fab✨️

I'm totally in love with this aesthetic!

Second, I'm so glad you're about to hit 1.5k followers soon! You totally deserve it!

In the past few weeks you've done so so much Han, I admire you so much for that. You've been answering asks, writing urgent requests and even handling the matchups. And all this while you've been dealing with personal problems of your own, I hope your hardwork gets rewarded and something really good happens to you!

Also, thank you so sooo much for writing my marchup! Matchup 24 is actually me lol, I sent it in way before I got my anon name. I absolutely loved it. Like, it was literally perfect. I've been busy with exams for the past one month, I've been reading stuff silently without interacting at all. Today you posted the matchup right before I was about to go to sleep (after 15 hours of study), and i couldn't resist reading it (altho i am a zombie rn). It was so so so so good Han. Thank you so much for writing it! I love you so much. You never fail to make me smile, you're such a blessing.

Love you Han!

😇 NONNIE OMG HI I MISSED YOU 😭😭💗💗💗 no bc this sweet message just made my whole day after a horrible weekend. I could cry, once again, your anon emoji fits you perfectly. You’re DEFINITELY an Angel in disguise.

Thank you! I really love my new theme as well. I’ve been obsessed with cottage/fairy core lately hence why it’s also my room theme atm lol.

THANKS OMG. I feel so bad. I’m still working on my 1000 follower event and now I’m close to hitting 1.5k. Like dang it really took me forever to get these matchups out. I’m horrible 😭

OH THAT MATCHUP WAS FOR YOU? I’m soooooo sorry for the long wait 🥹 but I’m so glad you were still around to see it and for sending me a message like this after reading it. I’m glad you enjoyed it 🫶🫶🫶

Wow 15 hours of studying! Please remember to take breaks and stay hydrated! I love you alwaysssss! Please get some rest now and I’ll cya around 🤭❤️ thanks again! This truly made my night.

#han’s 😇anon #I missed you :(#thanks for stopping by my asks. ily

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swiftiephobe · 1 year

Note

Hello there !!!

You are so right about how nice it is to feel connected to people. Sense of belonging is probably one of the best and most precious things we can own.

Since I see that you are from Australia, first of all I have to say I cannot imagine spending Christmas in hot weather 😭😭😭 I just love being tucked in my blankets and drinking my hot tea while watching a Christmas movie (the most basic person in town, I know).

However, I would like to know more about how you guys celebrate Christmas out there !! Do you have any specific traditions ? Specific meals ? Any Christmas songs only Australians know ? Tell me everything !!!!!

Also do you have a favourite Christmas song ? And did you already finish your Christmas shopping ?

I will stop here because I already threw more than enough questions at you. As always, feel free to ask me any questions you want, just know that I do not plan on revealing my identity in advance so I might lie if needed ❤️.

Lost of love,

Secret Santa 🎅

hi hi! i'm sorry it took me so long to reply, i've been really busy the past couple of days and have had barely any time to be on tumblr!!

haha i know a hot christmas sounds weird to those who haven't experienced it, but for me summer and the holidays just go together so well! although at the moment the weather is a bit colder than usual for australian summer so it's looking like we won't be having as hot a christmas as usual :') hmm, i would say the main "tradition" that people have for christmas here is that it's very common to eat seafood for christmas lunch! people will wake up at the crack of dawn on christmas eve to go line up to buy fresh seafood, when i worked retail i worked in a shopping centre with a seafood shop a few shops down and i remember on christmas eve i would work and the line for the seafood would go past our door and out the centre doors at least until the early afternoon! funnily enough though most of the christmas music we listen to is the same as elsewhere, there are a few parodies of songs that replace lyrics with australian/hot weather specific stuff but generally we just listen to the originals and ignore all the references to snow and winter haha.

ooh, i actually haven't always been someone who liked christmas music but i'm really vibing with it this year, i've been trying to put together a nice xmas playlist for myself! do you have any christmas song recommendations? i like some of the classics but i'm also trying to find some more modern christmas songs like christmas tree farm, santa tell me by ariana grande, stuff like that! i feel like christmas music can be so hit or miss though haha. and yes i am finished my christmas shopping! i had one last thing that i ordered online and was worried wouldn't arrive before christmas but i literally just received an email this evening that it was at the post office so i'll be collecting that early next week and then all my christmas gifts for others will be ready!

sorry again for taking so long to answer, i just really wanted to make sure i gave you a proper response because i love answering all your questions and want to give them the time they deserve!! hope you've had a lovely week, what's something you're looking forward to in the last week leading up to christmas! :)

#santaswiftie

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saltyhyunjae · 2 years

Note

can i request female reader x juyeon first time? but make it soft plsss

pairing: Juyeon x fem!reader

genre: fluffy smut

warning: fingering, oral (f receiving), swearing

wc: 892

a/n: sorry it took a bit long i've been so busy the past few days. it can also contain some spelling mistakes but sometimes you gots to see it thru. hope you like it <333

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It's been three months since you started dating Juyeon after being friends with him for a little while. Everyone around thought you were the cutest and most innocent couple ever, which you guys were. It was your first ever official relationship so you wanted to take it slow, which Juyeon respected. But after three months you finally felt ready to let loose of that innocent image.

“What did you say?” Your boyfriend’s eyes leave the tv screen, to look at you. “I want you.” You say looking straight into his eyes. “You already have me, baby.” He smiles, putting his arm around you to pull you closer.

“No, not like that.” You slightly place your hand on his thigh as Juyeon blinks a few times. “Ah, I see.”

He grabs your waist and you automatically pull your arms around his neck. “Hold on tight.” He tells you before lifting you up and dragging you to the bedroom.

He gently places you on the bed before hovering over you. “Are you sure about this?” You nod confidently. “Just tell me if you want to stop and I will stop immediately, okay.” He gives you a kiss on the forehead before pressing his lips on yours. The kiss starts slow but soon juyeon picks up the pace as your fingers get tangled in his hair.

He places kisses on your cheek and jawline before going down to your neck. His lips touch a sensitive spot making you whimper a bit. Juyeon smirks and starts sucking the sensitive skin. You shut your eyes and let out a breathy moan.

His hands travel from your waist to the hem of your shirt and you lift yourself up a bit to help him pull it over your head. His lips find yours again as he grabs your thighs spreading them. He runs his fingers over your clothed core and the feeling makes you shiver. You moan out Juyeon's name when he starts applying pressure on your clothed clit. “More?” He breaks the kiss, and you let out a soft ‘yes’. He pulls away and kisses all the way down to your underwear while remaining eye contact with you.

“Can I?” He asks, fingers hooked on the hem of your panties as he waits for your answer. “Please.” You shut your eyes, preparing for what’s next. You lift your hips up as Juyeon takes off your panties. “So wet already.” He licks lips, placing his hand on your inner thighs. You whimper when Juyeon licks a stripe up your center before focusing on your clit. “You taste so sweet, baby.” He looks up at you, eyes dark and filled with lust. You throw your head back as his tongue starts moving faster. “Please don’t stop.” You beg as once again your fingers get tangled in his hair.

“I-Im close.” You breathe out when Juyeon’s fingers find their way to your core again. He pulls them out when he feels you clenching around them. “Not yet. I wanna feel you.”He takes off his clothes before hovering over you. “You ready, love?” You nod as Juyeon’s gives himself a couple of strokes before lining himself up with your entrance. You wince at the pain when he slowly pushes into you. Juyeon grabs your hand and gives it a kiss. “It’s okay.” He softly says. “I got you.” You bite your lip as your eyes tear up, trying to get through the pain, sighing when Juyeon finally bottoms out. Soon the pain turns into pleasure and you give Juyeon a sign to move. He slowly rolls his hips into yours making you moan softly. “Fuck, baby you feel so good.” He grunts, thrusting into you. “Pick up the pace.” You beg once the pain is fully gone. Juyeon obeys and slowly but steadily he picks up the pace.

Your moans and whimpers get louder as you start to reach your high. “You sound so pretty, angel.” Juyeon admires you for a bit. Your eyes are shut as your mouth hangs open. “So beautiful.” He mumbles before placing kisses along your jawline. He groans as you slightly tuck on his hair. The hand on your thigh pushes your leg up a little so he can go deeper. He hits your sweet spot as he speeds up some more and your head falls back on the pillow.

Juyeon senses you're close to cumming by the way you're clenching around him. “Are you gonna be a good girl and come for me?” He asks with a smirk as you whimper. “Yes. Yes, please.” You almost choke on your words as he starts circling your clit with his hand. His name repeatedly leaves your mouth as you reach your euphoria. Juyeon buries his head in the crook of your neck as his breathing becomes heavier. The way you’re clenching around him makes it impossible to not come right after you. With a couple of curses and groans of your name, Juyeon cums inside you.

“Fuck, I love you so much.” Juyeon sighs as you both come off your highs. “Love you too.” You smile, nuzzling your face into his neck. “Come on, let me run you a warm bath.” He smiles as he offers you his hand. You can’t help but smile as you take his hand, wondering how you got so lucky with him.

#juyeon #juyeon fluff #juyeon imagines #juyeon angst #juyeon smut #the boyz smut #the boyz drabbles #tbz smut #tbz fluff #juyeon scenarios #juyeon drabbles #tbz angst #saltyrequests

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jameui · 3 years

Text

SPECIAL PRESENT 1

Requested

part 1 | part 2 | part 3

PAIRING: Sugar Daddy!Jung Yunoh x College Student!M!Reader (featuring: Bestfriend!Lee Jeno)

GENRE: Fluff, Smut

WARNINGS: Unprotected intercourse, huge age gap, a lot of IMPORTANT flashbacks (i think), daddy kink, sex toys, overstimulation

SUMMARY: You were a striving student in Resonance High and had perfect records. Besides your devotion to your education, you were also gifted with a talent. All these stuffs making your sugar daddy, Jaehyun, proud of you, so he decided to give you a night you won't forget.

(P.S. so i was fucking dumb to actually think that when you said performance, you meant by performing on a stage, when you actually meant, how male reader actually did good in school. I was too late to notice. sorry. if this didn't reach your expectations.

The school's foundation day is fast approaching and each student at Resonance High are all excited preparing for that certain day. During the school's foundation day, events such as competition in sports and performances like singing and dancing or spoken poetry. All sorts of event takes place in that particular, not only a day, but a week, that every students can take part in.

The school's foundation day does not only happen after a day. It's a week of celebration for the foundation and, of course, free from homeworks and projects that students have to worry about. All their focus must be on having fun on those days and be active in participation. Some students never liked the thought about celebrating a foundation day, but you on the other hand, thought otherwise as it's your first time celebrating it with a friend, since you never really get to do it with any due to you practically being locked up in your house for almost all years of your life.

Now, you were away from your family and you got to finally do anything you wanted. For example, having a sugar daddy who gave you all the help you needed. Sure, at first, you were just doing it out of mere fun, but you never quite expected to actually grow feelings for the older male. You didn't know when it started, but the first time you ever felt the fluttering of butterflies in your stomach was when he became worried and concerned when you got sick after a very excessive practice, the day prior. You wanted to tell him so, so bad, but you didn't know how to.

You were scared that maybe you were crossing the line or coming off too strong or maybe he'd walk away if you broke the agreement. It first started with just you only being up for it because of the agreement. Though, you never really went as far as you giving him a good blow or having a steamy bath with him. Either way, he was still someone you could trust and the only person you could rant about all your problems. The thought of losing all these scared you the most.

Unlike some other people, Jaehyun was smart and was a successful businessman, owning one of the richest companies in the industry. Jaehyun, when he's not busy, he'd help you out with your math homeworks or would just do it for you, since he found it fun and easy. Sometimes, you think he's Einstein, reincarnated.

Jaehyun, besides his brains, is also fun to be with. He knows about your passion and talent for singing and dancing and your once dream to be an artist, so he would sometimes play loud music in the living room through the speakers and you two would be singing along, him making up lyrics when he have no idea what the song artist's saying in their song. He'd sometimes call them drunk, because they sounded like they were slurring their words, which you would always laugh to. Also, he'd let you teach him a few dance steps you saw on tiktok and you'd record it together, only for the fun of both of you.

You were seated by your section's booth and couldn't help, but crack a smile from the thought. That was until one of your classmates decided to cut the moment. "What's with the smile?" Jeno, one of your friends, questioned with a smirk whilst carrying a case of bottled apple juice, placing it beside the stand of the booth.

"Here to tease me, again?" You scoffed at him, as he shrugged his shoulders. You rolled your eyes at him and stood up from your seat before heading to the school's gate where the rest of the important necessitated items are waiting. You skipped along the way and stopped by the pick up truck that was parked at the parking lot. "Anything I can help with?" You asked with a smile.

"Here's the last of 'em." He gave you two cases of the bottled drinks, one stacked above the other making you grunt.

"This is heavy." You muttered under your breathe, your thin hands barely holding onto the handles. "Th-thanks." You told them your feet wobbling from the heavy weight of the trays.

Jeno who came walking back outside saw you struggling, making him chuckle deciding to help you. "Need help with that?"

"Yes, please." You said before passing the trays to Jeno carefully, so it doesn't topple over. "Thanks." You smiled at him, cracking your knuckles and shaking it to reduce the pain you felt on your hands.

"Welcome." He said, then walking back to the booth, with you beside him. "Ah, M/n. By the way, are you attending the practice this afternoon?"

"Yeah. Of course. Why do you ask?" You chuckled, kicking on a pebble that came your way.

"Oh, I just thought you'd be busy sucking your daddy's—"

"JENO!" You yelled at him with an evident blush on your face cutting him off to avoid anyone hearing what Jeno had to say. It's always been like this. Since the day you told him about having a sugar daddy, he'd always tease you no matter where you are or what you're doing. He'd always use your excuses against you and now, you're regretting ever telling him.

"Okay, okay. Damn." He laughed at your reaction, you staring daggers at him.

Just as you were about to spat back at him, you heard a group of girls' voices calling out to you. "M/n! M/n! M/n!" They were successful in gaining your attention, while they smiled running up towards you. "M/n! You didn't tell us you have a handsome brother..." One of them said, while batting their lashes.

You knitted your brows in confusion. "I have?" You asked the girls, who looked like they knew better and nodded their heads. First of all, you don't have a brother, but you have three sister, two are older and one is younger. Second, you don't even know who these girls were and yet, they mysteriously knew your name and who you were. "Wait, who are you talking—"

"M/n-ah." You heard that sweet raspy voice of the man you loved, your head snapping towards him who stood by the side of your booth. You guessed he was on his break, since he was still in his suit and it was already past twelve in the afternoon.

"Jaehyun!" You giggled as you ran to him, all the while opening his arms for you to throw yourself in. You gladly complied and wrapped your arms around him, the lot older male doing the same as he hung his long arms on your waist. You snuggled into his chest before you looked up at him to see him already looking down at you with a smile that displayed his deeply carved dimples. "What are you doing here? Aren't you busy?" He made you giggle when he patted your head and planted a kiss on your forehead.

"I wanted to see my baby." Jaehyun replied, then pouting. "I've been so tired lately."

You furrowed your brows in concern and hugged him tighter. "Can't you take a three days off?"

"I want to, but I got to keep the company running if I don't want it to fail." He answered you, making you nod your head.

Once the girls saw these, they quickly felt embarrassed and walked off without making a sound, Jeno laughing at them.

"Then, why don't I treat you to something sweet? How's that?" You wanted to do something for the older and this was the only thing you could ever think of.

The pout was still glued to his face when he looked back down at you. "Angel, we agreed that I would do the treating."

"Well, you're the one who needs my help, right now, so I want to do something for you, other than..." You cleared your throat and mumbled, "...the other things I do for you."

Jaehyun chuckled, as he finally gave in to your offer while he ruffled your hair. "Alright."

You pulled away from him once he had loosened his grip from around your waist. You took him by the wrist and told Jeno that you'd be somewhere else, leaving Jeno with the rest of the responsibilities, promising him to make up to it.

You were leading Jaehyun to the canteen, before he gently pulled on your hand. You turned your head towards him, your eyes moving down to where he held you. You chuckled and smiled. "What's wrong?"

"Can... I hold your hand, M/n?" The question took you aback, only since he never really asks those type of questions. Ones he only asks are some that goes by the line 'can you suck my dick?' or of some sort.

"Sure." You managed to smile from the obvious shock that got Jaehyun a little red. "You didn't even have to ask." You added to which he nodded to shyly. It would be times like this when you would forget that he is a good thirty years old because of his cute personality.

You two finally made it to the canteen, the taller male receiving a lot of stares from all those present inside. Jaehyun was yet to spot the attention he was gaining, but you were already feeling iffy even though you knew that those heart eyes were for Jaehyun. But, you couldn't help the feeling that those eyes didn't like you being around Jaehyun. "J-Jaehyun..." You squeaked out silently, tugging on the sleeve of his suit, taking his attention whilst smiling down at you. His smile faltered upon noticing how you looked subtly shaken and cowered in fear. "I.. I think we should leave."

"Baby, what's wrong? You look so tense." Jaehyun asked you out of pure concern, cupping your cheeks as he gently tilted your head upwards, so you could face him, but you removed his hands from your cheeks that got him almost shocked since you'd never really let yourself move away from his grasp, instead you would usually just lean into his touch and let yourself succumb to the warmth he was radiating, but this. This was different and he knew exactly that something was bothering you.

"Can we go, please?" You sounded like you were begging for you two to quickly move outside, leaving Jaehyun with no choice, but to nod his head and let you drag him out of the place. Alas, you were outside, but he never received even a word from you nor a hum, a sigh, nothing. Just complete silence.

He grew more worried thinking that he might have done something that he shouldn't have or said something that made you feel so uncomfortable. He was getting anxious as you continued to keep your mouth closed and never said a word. "Baby, you know you can trust me, right?" Jaehyun caressed your thumb in a comforting manner, his eyes showing how much he truly cared for you and how genuinely worried he was. He was scared that he might have done something wrong to you.

He himself never knew how it got to this. At first, just like you, he had only intended to find some fun in the relationship you both had and not actually grow some feelings towards you, but the first time he ever met you, all he ever had thought in his head was to protect you at all cost and give you everything you wanted, spoil you with all his money and riches, give you forehead kisses and pleasure that can make you see stars. Since the start, he only thought of this as something platonic and that it was a part of the agreement you both had consent on, but as you two got to spend more time together, he always felt something blossom inside of him. He always looked forward to every day, mainly because he had you to wake up to. His usual stoic expression, completely turned into those that said 'sunshine' all spread out on his face. That's when he completely knew, it was not only the benefits he was up for, anymore. It was you and his love for you.

He was just your usual workaholic man, who had nothing in his head rather than work, work, and work. Not until the day he bumped into you on that one faithful day, when you were so drained from all the studying you had to do and decided to buy coffee. You were so intimidated by his face that he got you cowering in fear when you turned to look up at him. The only courage you could muster was so small that you were only able to give him a polite bow before you entered the coffee shop to buy your favorite cappuccino coffee.

He was so intrigued by you that the next day, during that same time, he waited for you in that same exact location, but you never showed up. Until later. You were so shocked from the sight of him. You feared he'd beat you into a pulp, so you hid your face with your hand, hoping he didn't see you, but luck wasn't on your side that day and decided to let Jaehyun notice your presence.

"Hey, I—"

"Sorry, sir. I'm quite busy, right now." You immediately cut him off and got inside the shop, Jaehyun following suit. Your eyes made its way back towards the older who was following behind you closely. You stopped in your tracks and turned around to look at him, retracting his body from looking through your shoulders, throughout the whole time smiling down at you with his dimples showing. "Excuse me, sir, but do I owe you with something?"

Jaehyun pursed his lips, thinking before smirking and leaning closer to your face, with you, all the while, pulling your head back. "Yes." He answered you with his hands shoved confidently inside his pants.

Your gaze averted from his mesmerizing eyes to the table that supported you and kept you from falling. You gulped and felt your lips go dry. "D-do you need money? I don't have much, but will 7,000 won be enough?" You fondled through your pockets and took out your wallet.

"What? No, no." He chuckled, one hand taken out from his pockets and scratching his eyebrows while he sighed. "I have an offer."

Your brows were pulled together looking up at him, curious. "What is it?"

"Give me your number and I'll tell you over the phone."

And that's how it all started. Of course, he told you about lying that you owed him something, either way you were thanking the God above that he created you as gullible as ever.

As of the moment, Jaehyun could only feel his nervousness rise as he continued to stare at your back. "M/n, please say something. You're making me feel so worried."

"Jaehyun..." You finally stopped walking and spoke, before throwing yourself into him, the impact suddenly taking all the air inside Jaehyun's lungs away. "Don't leave me... please." You pleaded, your arms around him going tighter.

Jaehyun softened and felt himself get blanketed over with relief. He raised his hand to put it on top of your head and caressed them softly and soothingly. "I won't, M/n. I promise you."

In the end, Jaehyun was the one who treated you with something to eat. You were sat at a bench near your class' booth, Jaehyun next to you, while you swayed your feet back and forth. "Hyunnie." You called out to him with a new nickname you came up with, Jaehyun choking on his burger letting out a few coughs while you patted his back, laughing. "How the hell do you eat a burger that it got you choking on it?"

His coughing finally stopped and looked at you with a surprised face. "The nickname. You never called me that before."

You pouted in reply and blushed in embarrassment. "Do you.. not like it?"

"No, of course not." He was quick to shake his head, then cleared his throat, looking away. "It's cute."

You were able to see the pink tint painting his cheeks that you always found cute, since it's a very rare sight to see. Teasingly, you peeked over and was able to confirm that he was, in fact, blushing from just the nickname you created. "Oh my gosh, you're blushing." You cooed and immediately, Jaehyun scoffed, facing you to land a small kiss on your lips that got you widening your eyes and wiping away the mocking smile you had on your face. Your fingers made its way up towards your lips, unable to speak.

"Now, tell me who's blushing." Jaehyun smirked.

You glared at him, but instead of feeling intimidated, he found it cute. "I'm just surprised, since you never really like to, er, kiss me on the lips." You whispered the last part, loud enough for only you and him to hear.

You two were so happy in each other's company, that you both forgot that Jaehyun had somewhere else to be. That being his work. He wouldn't have noticed the time passing, if it wasn't for the alarm he had set, knowing he'd lose track of time when he's around you.

You walked him to his car and saw him off, waving your hand at him, not leaving until he was finally out of sight. You put your hands back down and sighed happily, walking back towards where you should be: at the booth where you should be finishing the preparation.

"So, how was the quick date?" Jeno asked you with a smirk, the sleeves of his shirt pushed back inside the hole that connected it to the shirt, showing his perfectly built muscles.

"It was great! Save for the part where I received death glares at the canteen. That felt terrible." You shuddered at the thought, but smiled again. "That aside, it was great."

"Your schedule didn't change? Are there still room for practice later?" Jeno asked you for the nth time that day. He's been asking you since you entered the classroom.

"It didn't, Jeno. Why are you so eager with me being present in the practice?" You chuckled at him, deciding to help him pack the treat bags you will give out to your customers.

"I just can't be left alone there with people I don't know. I'm an awkward person." Jeno told you.

"Jeno. You're literally known by all the students here and you're scared because they're strangers to you? I bet they all even want to be friends with you." You said, but Jeno just shook his head, his hair moving along with him.

"No, M/n. You must and need to attend the practice, either way." Jeno demanded of you.

You rolled your eyes at him and sighed deeply through your nose in defeat. "Fine, fine." Jeno's eye smile appeared and let out a small 'yes' making you chuckle.

"Hey, M/n." A voice started from outside the booth and saw a girl with her arms crossed, looking down at you whilst you seated at the ground. You looked up at her, but she didn't look friendly. She looked angry than friendly.

Your eyes flickered toward Jeno, then back to the girl and smiled. "Yeah?"

"Don't give me that smile, you whore." She spat at you, all of a sudden.

Your eyes closed shut, your mouth wide open and your forefinger raised up while you pushed it towards her way and scoffing. Your eyelids tore open and you smirked at the girl. "Excuse me? Whore? Who you calling a whore?"

"Listen, midget—"

"No, you listen here, Barbie." You said, a mocking tone with the last word. "You full on plastic, bitch. Get away from my sight. You look like a parasite."

The girl gasped in shock and opted to pull on your hair, but Jeno held her by her wrist and angrily stared at her. "You heard him. Get away. I'm not afraid to punch a person, even a girl, if they're purpose was to mistreat and shame on an innocent person." Jeno threw her hand away like it was trash, sending the girl from moving two steps back before stomping her foot and turning on her heels to walk away.

You could still see Jeno glaring at the girl while you looked at him in shock. "Wow, wow. Look at you."

"Sh. I'm not done yet." Jeno hushed you, before he continued his work. "You were saying?"

"Nothing. Was just shocked you told that girl off. I could have handled myself just fine, but thanks to you, I'm saved from causing a ruckus." You said, Jeno huffing through the nose.

"Seriously, you." He sighed pinching the bridge of his nose and knitted his brows. "Stop making the problem bigger."

"No way. I need to put up a fight. If I don't, they'd see me as someone weak." You defended yourself.

"And you can't even handle death glares that's being sent towards you?"

You were about to speak and fight back, but he was right. "That's... that's a different matter."

"Sure, it isn't, M/n." He said rolling his eyes.

Later that afternoon, past 5 p.m., you and Jeno excused yourselves from the class, since you have a dance practice for your performance on the opening of the foundation day. Out of habit, you skipped beside Jeno who was happy that you got to attend the practice today. Again.

You never really liked the person who choreographed the whole song. It was under a genre you thought you could never pull off or fit in, so your confidence was at a very low level. During practices, though, you try your best not to make it obvious that you were uncomfortable for that certain concept, but you still had to be seen making a lot of mistakes, some of the other students who joined clearly agitated. You could only bow and bow and bow at the mistake you knew you clearly had done, feeling guilty for the reason why always had to start again from the top. The reason why you never really got along well with these students.

You have arrived at the practice room, taking quiet steps as you both entered the venue trying your best not to make a sound. The intense gazes you received from the other students didn't come unnoticed by you, the reason why you pulled your knees closer to your chest as you buried your face in it. Clearly, they were enjoying those two few days you were absent, since they got to finish practice early and with no interruption nor mistakes. But, now that you're around, they knew exactly what awaited them.

Jeno saw you curled up into a ball and eyes making its way up to the students who looked so angry with you making him frown. "M/n. Don't mind them. You're actually doing even greater than them." He tried to cheer you up, so you acknowledged it with a smile.

"Thanks, Jeno. But, I don't think that will change the fact that my uneasiness with the dance is the reason why we have to start over and over again." You sighed and placed your head back down on your knees, Jeno drawing circles on your back.

A moment later, the mentor came walking in, displeased to see you present. "Oh, welcome back... M/n." He stated before you could hear those loud snickers coming from the students. You and Jeno were the first ones to stand in position, the others following suit. The mentor's face lit up with an idea on his mind. "Can everyone please take a seat for a couple of minutes?" He smiled, then looking at you. "Except for you, L/n."

Jeno's eyes fell upon you, a worried look on his face, mouthing 'I'll be fine' to reassure him as he sat back down along with the other students until it was only you and the mentor left standing. "You think telling your 'boyfriend' about me would scare me?" He mocked you with your head still hung low. "You have to try better than that." He smirked, pulling a chair to seat on it. His legs were on either side of the chair, so his chest was pressed upon the back rest of the chair to face you. "Start."

You were startled by the sudden order and went into position, but you only started fidgeting out of fear. "Where... I.. sir.. Do I stand—"

"L/n!" He yelled at you, making you jump from the sudden raise of his voice. You knew telling Jaehyun was a bad idea. "Fix yourself, will you? The performance is due tomorrow and you're such a mess." The misery you were caged in were the happiness of the students as they started to giggle, your fist clenching hard until your knuckles turned white.

The music started, but you were still nowhere from moving your body. You just stood there, head hanging low while gnashing your teeth. You weren't angry at the mentor. You were angry at yourself. You were angry that you couldn't do any better. You practiced the dance so hard, yet it were still so far from perfecting it. You just wished some kind of spirit would possess you and lead your body.

The whole place started to laugh at you as they watched you shamelessly froze on your position. You felt a small jab on your ribs that made you open your clenched fists and saw Jeno standing right beside you with a grin on his face, your expression softening as he started to lead the dance. Slowly, you felt your own body move to the beat and rhythm of the song, being at the same flow with Jeno. The students only watched while the song ended.

A slow clap from your mentor was heard, a smile plastered on his face. "Way to impress me you two, huh?" He stood from the chair and waisted his arms. "L/n." His eyes moved to you, expecting yet another scolding. "I'm proud of you. Keep up that confidence and I just know you'll do great." You felt a smile creeping its way up to your face, before the mentor closed in on you and ruffled your hair. "Alright, everyone. From the top."

-----

The practice ended at exactly eight o' clock in the evening and you were already feeling drained, your sweat soaked shirt sticking to your body. Your forehead glistened with sweat, that ran down to the side of your cheeks. You panted heavily and flopped your body down on the polished floor.

Why that late you ask? Well, you and Jeno decided to stay for a few hours to polish the dance, him pointing out your mistakes and going back to the steps to correct you. You were grateful Jeno was a very patient guy, so whenever you made a mistake or wasn't executing the dance properly, he'd just chuckle and help you with your 'cute mistakes', at least that's what he called it.

"Finally..." You panted, Jeno settling himself beside you, his limbs sprawled all over the floor. "Done."

"You did so great, M/n! I knew you could pull this off." Jeno gave you a compliment that made you giggle, a hand on your chest to catch your breathe.

"And it was all thanks to you." You told him.

Jeno shook his head. "Ey. The only thing I did was help your body to loosen up."

"Exactly." The cute noises coming out of your mouth once more. "Do you think we should practice more?" You asked the older who moved his head to look at you.

"Still up for one more?" He smiled knowingly at you, while you nodded at him. You both stood up from where you both lied and you went to your position with Jeno moving to the speakers to play the song for the last time.

The minute you both finished, you were so exhausted that your knees couldn't hold themselves up anymore and you fell to the ground, groaning. You were panting heavily, starting to even your breathing at the same time laughing proudly at yourself for how well you've done. "When I get home, I'm gonna take a shower and then, throw myself on the bed and sleep."

Jeno could only laugh and you two were left with half an hour talking about all the things in life. You listened to him rant about how the mentor was being more harsh on you than the other students, but you only shook the topic off telling him that it no longer mattered and that he should already move on. You had also thanked him for helping you, during that time when you had to do the dance routine all by yourself. You really didn't know what else to do than to just stand there and sulk.

A few minutes later, both of you were now starting to pack, Jeno having to make a quick visit to the restroom, leaving you all alone inside the studio. You were changing into a dry shirt, when the voice of the janitress from behind the window made your body go tense as you jumped and turned towards her. "Oh, fuck." You sighed out in relief, holding your hand close to your chest. "You scared me, ma'am."

Her eyes turned into those that looked like crescents and smiled. "My bad. Probably shouldn't have passed by unannounced." She nodded and proceeded to mop the hallway floor.

You were about to ask her about a certain matter that was troubling you, but when you lifted your head to face the woman, she was not there anymore. "Uh.. probably left for something." You shrugged it off and went back to scrolling through your feeds, the certain feeling of being watched sending chills down your spine. The silence was so deafening that you started to whistle to a song you were currently into, just to help calm the unnerving feeling. You started to feel all the hair on your body stand on its end when a very harsh opening of the door sent you off flying, then to the ground your heart beating so fast. "Shit!"

Jeno was obviously confused why you got so scared by him just pushing the door open, but he was also laughing at your state which made you glare at him. He helped you stand back up to your feet, as you dusted your pants from any invisible dirt. "What the hell happened to you?"

"You scared the shits out of me. That's what happened." You scoffed at him, hitching your back higher onto your shoulders. "Let's go." You two vacated the room, making sure to lock it, but you told Jeno not to since the janitress was still yet to finish cleaning, but Jeno was greatly puzzled at what you had said.

"What in the world are you talking about?" Jeno laughed lightly before proceeding to lock the door and hung an arm around your shoulder.

"I saw her through the window." You added.

Jeno shook his head in disbelief and didn't fall for your trick to scare him off. "First, the school does not hire a janitress or a janitor, since they have working students. Second, so the dance major students don't get distracted, the window inside the room is tinted, so you basically don't see anything outside."

You felt your heart sink at the revelation as you felt all your blood get drained. "Are you... s-sure?"

"Yeah." Jeno answered your question. You slowly turned your head back towards the room, the windows and saw a black figure waving their hands at you that made you sprinting off to the entrance, leaving a dumbfounded Jeno as he followed behind you. "What the hell, M/n?"

"Shut... up! You were not the one left inside the dance room, so you wouldn't know how much I'm fucking scared, right—"

"M/n!"

"FUCK!" You screamed on the top of your lungs, stomping your foot and punching the air for no apparent reason. "Jaehyun, you... nevermind. Just take me home, please. I think I'm already fucking wasted." Jaehyun, who was on his casual attire, approached you and placed a kiss on top of your head.

#x male reader #bottom male reader #bxb #male reader #idol x male reader #fanfiction #kpop #nct #nct x male reader #jung jaehyun x male reader #jaehyun x male reader #jung yunoh x male reader

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randomshyperson · 3 years

Text

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Sorry for your lost - Part I “I will grieve”.

Serie Masterlist here || Part II|| Read on AO3

Summary: When your wife Natasha passes away in a car accident, a part of you dies with her. It takes a few months of mourning for your psychiatrist thinks the best alternative is for you to join a grief group. And there you meet Wanda Maximoff, and learn to live again.

Warnings: (+16) mentions of death, panic attacks and anxiety, grief, self sabotage, mentions of abusive family background, mutual attraction, explicit consent, therapeutic conversations about death, self-deprecation, healthy methods of coping with grief, possible triggers about anxiety, hurtful behaviors, domestic wanda.

Chapter warnings: Heavy angst, death.

Author’s notes: Hello readers! I'm finally back to posting something, but I disappeared for a good reason, I was writing three new series. And here is the first of them. I really enjoyed this work and it's something I've been trying to write since I watched WandaVision, and only now I've managed to put it into words. I am not finished yet, but there is only one chapter left, so your reading will not be affected. Pay attention to the warnings, and good reading!

Tag list (let me know if you wanna be tagged)

@mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch

//-//

Chapter One - I’ll grieve.

You wished you could go back to sleep as soon as you opened your eyes. The sound of your alarm buzzed loudly throughout the room, and after putting it on snooze mode at least four times, you finally got annoyed enough to grab it and throw it across the room. But the sound continued.

Letting out a grumble of dissatisfaction, you pushed the comforter off you, and sat up in your bed. Your room was a mess, but you just skipped through the clothes on the floor to reach the phone, turning off the alarm through the new crack you made in the screen.

"Honey, are you up?" you heard your mother's distant voice calling you through the door, probably from the living room or the kitchen. "Don't forget your therapy today."

You sighed impatiently, running your hands through your hair. The damn group therapy.

Grumbling lightly, you forced yourself to take a shower, not wanting "poor hygiene" to end up on your progress report card.

A while later, when you were finished, you went into the kitchen. Your mother was using her laptop on the counter, and just waved at you.

"Are you going to take me?" You asked her with your hands in your pockets. Your mother took her eyes off the screen to evaluate the sweatshirt you were wearing, and you rolled your eyes at her disapproving expression.

"You know, you could try driv-"

"Mom" You cut her off in earnest, your heart racing momentarily. You don't drive. An she knows. Your mother sighs, putting her hands up in a sign of surrender.

"It was just a suggestion dear." She retorts as she stands up, reaching for her car key on the key rack exiting the kitchen. "But I'm busy with the store, you'll need to take the subway next time."

"Thanks for the support." You grumble as you step out in front and your mother lets out a wry chuckle.

You frown and let out a dissatisfied exclamation as you step outside feeling the sun's rays on your face.

"You're not a vampire, cut the drama." Mocks your mother by pushing you lightly to get you out of the way.

You grumble as you walk to the car. And when you are sitting on the seat, your mother is starting the vehicle and she asks:

"Are you sure you're not going to eat anything?"

Looking out the window, you just mumble that you're not hungry, and she shakes her head in disapproval before you back the car up. You don't speak any more on the way.

//-//

Your mother dropped you off in the parking lot of a gymnasium where the therapy group would be meeting. You sighed as you got out, and thanked her for the ride and the money she gave you to eat, even though you probably weren't going to use.

Resisting the urge to run away, you forced your feet to walk toward the place.

There were a few people at the door, but you didn't smile at any of them, entering the place with your head down and your hands in your pockets.

And then a woman greeted you, and put a little sticker with your name on your shirt when you gave her your papers.

Then she signaled the way you should go, and you ended up on the gymnasium court, where there was a wheel of chairs, and a table with food and drink, and several people scattered around, who you thought were part of your therapy group.

Sighing impatiently you made your way to the bleachers of the venue, hoping to be alone until the session started and you could leave.

Fortunately it wasn't long before the leader signaled for everyone to sit in the circle, and you sighed as you stood up. You ended up with one of the chairs on the far left opposite the therapist, which could be bad since he would see you clearly.

"Thank you very much for coming." Said the therapist smiling gently as his gaze roved over everyone in the circle. You kept your gaze on your shoes. He made a noise with his throat. "Who would like to start today?"

The silence lasted for a few seconds, but then someone was speaking. You forced yourself to come back to reality and pay attention.

"[...] and this is my fourth week around here." Said a woman in a leather jacket. You noticed the army lanyard around her neck. She was talking about an accident when you got distracted again. Lightly poking your eye with your finger, you tried to focus again, letting out a low sigh. And then the therapist was talking again.

"We have new faces today." He said and you felt your heart speed up. You absolutely did not want to talk in front of strangers. "Why don't you share with us, miss?"

You raised your gaze to meet that of the therapist, smiling gently at you. The rest of the group looked at you as well. Taking a deep breath, you began to wiggle your fingers on your leg.

"I don't... I've never been in a group." You say clumsily. "What should I say?"

"Whatever you wish to say." He answers with a smile. You swallow the urge to tell him you didn't want to talk at all. Realizing your lack of response, he is quick to add. "Why don't you tell us why you are here?."

You let out a dry laugh.

"I really didn't have much choice." You retort wryly. The therapist looks slightly surprised, but makes no mention of interrupting you. You let out a sigh before clarifying. "My psychiatrist, she...she didn't approve of my social ratings. She wanted me to talk to other people. People who... went through the same things I did." You count staring at the floor. When you look up again, the group still waits for you to continue, and you sigh, running your hands through your hair. "I haven't... I... I haven't talked to other people outside of my family in six months. Not since..."

You move your head, sniffling slightly as you straighten your posture. The therapist clears his throat.

"You just need to share whatever you are ready to tell us." He says gently, you nod slightly feeling extremely vulnerable. "But remember that this is a safe space. There is nothing to fear here."

And then he is talking about methods of easing the guilt, and dealing with the pain and you were distracted again. You would like to go back to bed. It must have taken a while, but the session is finally over.

The group dispersed around the room, and you went toward the therapist's desk to have him sign your schedule. He smiled as you approached.

"Miss Y/N/L, I was happy to hear that you would be joining us today." He said greeting you with a handshake. You nodded, taking the paper from your pocket. He chuckled, but accepted it. "You know, I'd like you to try to have a partner in the group, it's recommended for cases like yours."

"What do you mean cases like me?" You ask snidely, but he doesn't care.

"Doctor Harkness gave me your chart." He explained as he signed the paper you gave him while you frowned. "Extreme Social Anxiety in the first few months of treatment. Tendency to complete isolation, introverted..."

"Yeah I know my problems, buddy." You interrupt him with irritation. "You don't have to list them for me."

The therapist gives a lopsided chuckle, and holds out the signed paper to you. But he adds with a serious look:

"I'm here to help you, Y/N." He says. "Don't forget that."

You don't respond and take the paper, turning toward the exit.

//-//

Your week passes slowly and tortuously. Which is surprising because you barely get out of bed. And then it is group therapy day again, and you are making a new crack at your cell phone screen.

Your mother greets you with a pat on the back as you enter the kitchen, and she is walking past you toward her own room.

You know you have to take the subway today, and you are trying not to think about it too much. As you are walking out the door, your eyes pass quickly over your car key, and you think you have a flash of memory, but you shake your head quickly, pushing the thought away. And then you walk forward.

And you are late for the session, because you can't take the bus to the station, since your feet simply didn't obey you. But that's okay, you don't really care.

You weren't the only one who was late. When you went to enter the door, a red-haired woman bumped into you, also running to get in. She smiled slightly as she apologized, and you just made room for her to enter first.

"Sorry Stephen." She said to the therapist as soon as you two entered the gymnasium, "I had an emergency with the kids."

The man just shook his head with a smile, and waved for you both to sit down.

"And why were you late today, miss Y/L/N?" He asked you. You shrugged your shoulders.

"I didn't wanna come." You retorted and the group giggled, and the sudden sound startled you slightly, but you just sat with your arms crossed.

"Do you want to try again?" He retorted with light humor in his voice. And you bit the inside of your cheeks. And then you looked down at the floor.

"I couldn't get on the bus." You confessed next. Stephen looked at you tenderly, though, and you didn't like the feeling of your chest heaving slightly.

"And why do you think that happened?"

You shrugged, uncomfortable.

"I don't know. I... There were too many people." You said embarrassed. And then you started twiddling your fingers, feeling all eyes on you. "I just... I knew I'd have to say hello to the driver, and the conductor. And then I would pass strangers in the hallway, and one of them would sit next to me. And I just... I couldn't."

Stephen nodded slightly in agreement.

"It's okay, Y/N. " He stated. "No one is judging you here."

You let out a dry laugh, and Stephen blinks in surprise, which spurs you to explode.

"Everyone is judging me, Doc." You say through gritted teeth, swinging your leg. "It's as if I can hear the gears in people's brains forming opinions about me." You state with a sigh. "Like my mother for example. She...she...acts like I'm past the time of mourning." You explain with tears in your eyes. "Like there's a limit, and I'm extending her goodwill. Because it's been six months, and she doesn't want me to be sad anymore. But guess what? I don't know how to move on!" You state angrily. "I can't! If I don't miss her, what's left for me? If I don't... God, I can't do this."

And you stand up, wiping your tears away, and walk out of the gymnasium, heading for the restrooms. You feel your heart racing, and it's hard to breathe.

As you rest your hands on the sink, your brain starts to wander back to the day of the accident again. You choke, because it feels like you're sinking again. You see the water rising through the metal of the car. Your hands on the steering wheel, and then on the seat belt. You shake your head, pushing the images away, and rush to turn on the faucet in front of you and pour the water on your face.

You take a deep breath, trying to stop the tears. And then there is someone entering.

"Are you okay?" Stephen asks and you nod lightly, ignoring the trembling in your hands as you stare at him through the reflection of the mirror. "I gave a break to the group, wouldn't you like to walk with me?"

"I'm not good company right now." You grumble but he smiles, nodding slightly as if to repeat the invitation. You take a deep breath before turning around.

You walk silently and slowly to the outside of the gymnasium, and then he is speaking again.

"You were very brave today." He comments, and you let out a dry laugh. "Why don't you believe me?"

"I panicked today." You say. " It doesn't sound very brave to me."

Stephen smiles guiding you through the gymnasium entrance toward the parking lot.

"You talked about a trauma to a group of people." He says. "That takes a lot of courage, even if you don't believe it."

"I don't believe in anything." You grumble, but Stephen doesn't mind your hostility. He stays with his friendly posture.

"I would like you to accept my request from before." He said after a moment. "About a group partner."

You let out a sigh.

"I don't even know what that means." You retort with slight impatience as you reach the edge of the parking lot. You notice the garden a few feet ahead of you.

"It's like a therapy buddy." He explains with a smile. "We encourage socializing here. That's why Agatha recommended this group to you."

"Oh, of course you do. Agatha is a bitch." You wryly wipe your hands across your face. Stephen laughs lightly. "How does that work anyway? Do I have to hold someone's hand? Exchange friendship bracelets?"

"No, it's much better." He says with a chuckle. "You talk to that person. You exchange experiences with them. You learn to trust somebody else again."

"My god, it looks like a fucking Disney movie." You retort with irritation and Stephen lets out a laugh. And then you let out a sigh, shrugging your shoulders. "Okay, I'll do it. I have nothing to lose, and it seems that neither you nor Agatha will leave me alone if I don't agree."

"We want you to feel better. Don't take this as a punishment." He says, guiding you back to the gym. You nod slightly, thinking that it really does feel like punishment anyway.

//-//

You see Agatha the same week. Your appointments have been switched to monthly meetings instead of weeks as they were at the beginning of treatment, and while you appreciate the familiarity of seeing her, you can't help but feel irritated with her.

"Someone's grumpy." She comments as soon as you sit down on the couch in the room, to which you roll your eyes.

"You are always so very tender, Agatha." You mock as you cross your legs, hoping the time will pass soon.

Agatha laughs lightly, finishing tidying up a few things on her desk. And then she gets up and sits down in the armchair a few feet in front of the sofa where you are, carrying a small notebook in her hands.

"So, why don't you tell me how your your first two sessions in group therapy went?"

You let out a dry laugh.

"Like Stephen didn't tell you everything." You sneer and Agatha just smiles, waiting for you to speak. You let out an impatient sigh, before stating wryly. "It was amazing, doc. It only took two sessions for me to have a panic attack, so thank you for that."

"Why do you think that happened?"

You squeezed your eyes.

"I have no idea." You retorted. "I'm not the doctor here." Agatha laughs lightly, and then opens her notebook and starts writing something. You sigh impatiently. “Really, you're going to start that again?”

"If you don't talk, I write." She states simply, and you roll your eyes, shifting on the couch uncomfortably.

"Agatha, I just... I couldn't get on a bus, okay?" you tell her, and she closes her notebook to look at you attentively. You take a deep breath. "There were a lot of people. I don't mind walking anyway. It helps me think."

"You don't mind walking eight blocks?" She asks with a slight irony. "That's pretty athletic of you."

"It's weird that you know my address off the top of your head." You play lightly, and she just laughs, straightening her posture.

"Why don't you just tell me what you want to tell me?"

"Why don't you ask me what you want to ask?"

Agatha blinks slightly in surprise, and then she shakes her head slightly, opening her notebook again. You sigh.

"Okay, sorry." You say, and she looks at you for a moment before closing the object again. I... I thought I was drowning again.”

"Are your nightmares back?" She asks seriously, and you deny it with your head.

"I feel too anxious to sleep." You tell. "And then I black out from exhaustion in the night or in the morning. I don't dream anymore."

"Have you been taking your medication?"

You sigh.

"Of course I have." You say. "I don't... I'm having trouble keeping my mind still. Like the first few months, you know. Everything seems so noisy now."

Agatha nods slightly, becoming thoughtful for a few moments.

"I know it may sound strange to hear that, but that means you're getting better." She declares and you frown in surprise, then let out a dry laugh.

"How is my peak anxiety a good thing?"

She opens the book again, but before you can ask what you said wrong, she is reading.

"The first day you were here, you said you felt like you were empty." She narrated and you swallowed dryly. "During your first two months, you continued to describe that you felt like an empty shell. And that you no longer had any dreams, thoughts, or opinions. Without your wife, you said you were no longer here."

You felt your eyes fill with water at the mention of her. But you swallowed your emotions. Agatha turned a page, and read for a few seconds, and then looked at you.

"With your history of anxiety, your mind was remarkably quiet after the passing of your wife." She says. "But now that you're on medication, and therapeutic treatment, plus you're socializing even superficially with the world again, you're starting to feel things again. That's progress."

You look away from her, nodding slightly, trying to believe her words, and trying not to be so terrified at the thought of learning to live again. Without Nat.

You choke slightly, holding back a sob, and then Agatha hands you a box of tissues, but you refuse with a nod, wiping away the tears that have slightly escaped.

"What do you want to talk about now?" She asks after a moment. You take a deep breath, still trying to calm yourself.

"Last week I took a cold bath." You count. "It was snowing."

Agatha blinks in surprise at the information and then lets out a giggle.

"You want me to write it in the book don't you?"

You laugh, wiping away the last of the insistent tears. You just hope Agatha could help you.

//-//

You hate coffee. But you barely slept last night, and now you need to stay awake during the group meeting, so instead of walking to the chair in the corner like you used to, you detour your way to the food and beverage table as soon as you arrive at the gym.

There are a few members around, but you don't look at them, just sidestepping as you extend your arm to the coffee bottle. You pour some, and as you touch the cup, you notice. It's cold.

"Hey sorry about that." Said a girl you thought was named Val or something, as soon as she saw you touching the cup. "We mixed up the shifts yesterday and nobody made new coffee."

You rolled your eyes, picking up the cup and throwing it in the trash. Then you forced a wry smile on the girl and walked outside.

It was cold, but you are boiling with rage. It was just a damn cup of coffee, you thought as you closed your eyes and tried to reduce your anger. Just coffee.

You stumbled with fright when Stephen called out to you.

"We'll get started in a minute." He said looking at you curiously. You just nodded, following him after a few seconds.

You bit the inside of your cheek when you noticed the same coffee girl as before, now sitting where you usually sat. The universe was testing you today.

You just sighed, twiddling your fingers inside your pocket, and walked over to one of the free chairs.

After Stephen gave the briefing, he asked if everyone was all right, and the group lied in unison. You were almost asleep when he called your name.

"I would like to choose your partner today." He says and you feel your heart racing as you straighten your posture. "But I want to know if you have any preferences."

You blink in confusion, and roll your eyes.

"I don't know anyone here, but I'm sure they will all hate me equally, doc." You tried to joke, but Stephen only looked at you with concern.

"No one does or will hate you." He says and you swallow dryly, looking away as you mumble that it was just a joke. Stephen pauses momentarily before continuing. "You know that everyone here has their own experiences of loss and they are unique in their own way, even if they have similarities." He begins and you just wish he would speak soon who your partner is at once. "Usually we don't put new members together, but with the release of one of our members, the number ended up getting odd." He explains. "Anyway, I'm sure you and Mrs. Maximoff will get along very well together."

You frowned slightly at the whole explanation. Then you looked around the group, and realized that this Maximoff woman was the late redhead from the previous session who looked at you curiously. You looked away from her to Stephen.

"Thank you, doc." You said with a slight irony and Stephen just nodded smiling.

"Partners are grieving companions ladies." He says. "We will assess your progress at each session, and then switch partners once the necessary improvement has been achieved."

You grumbled in understanding, and looked away to your lap. When Stephen began to ask about the stories, your mind wandered to the departure time.

And when the session was over you wished you could go to sleep. But Stephen made a slight movement of his head in Maximoff's direction, and you understood that you should talk to her.

Ignoring the urge to show Stephen the middle finger, you just sighed as you got up from your chair and lazily walked over to the woman at the exit. She was talking to a man, and you were even more anxious to address not one, but two strangers.

"Hi." You greeted awkwardly, and both of them turned to you with mild curiosity.

"Hey, you're Y/N, right?" Said the man with a smile as he held out his hand to you. "I'm Bucky. James Barnes actually, but everyone calls me Bucky." He said and you shook his hand, smiling awkwardly. Then he quickly pointed at the woman. "And this is Wanda Maximoff, your grief partner."

"Hi." Wanda said shyly as she offered her hand to greet you. You accepted as clumsily as she did.

"Sorry, I don't know how this works." You say. "Should we exchange numbers or something? Or is that just a therapy thing?"

Bucky gives a little chuckle.

"Oh believe me, they'll know if you're not making it work." He counters. "My first partner was Sam Wilson and we wanted to jump on each other's necks whenever we saw each other. And then Stephen asked us to move in together." He says and you blink in surprise. "We're married now, but that's not the point. I guess I'm getting off topic..."

"Bucky." Wanda interrupts with a smile, and he smiles half-heartedly as well. You frown, annoyed by Bucky's story. You didn't want to marry anyone. "I guess we'll make it work, I hope you don't mind having the company of two tiny restless creatures on our walks."

You look at her with confusion and then you understand, smiling shyly.

"No, it's okay." You say. "I like children."

"Really?" She asks in surprise.

You nod slightly. "Unlike adults, they tell the truth."

Wanda seemed to be thoughtful, but then Bucky lets out an exclamation.

"As group guide, I have to pass the to-do list to you ladies." He says pulling a small notebook from the back pocket of his pants. He pulls out a sheet of paper and hands it to Wanda. "Partners need to develop these habits of socializing and coping with grief together. And yes, there is a test."

You sigh impatiently, tucking a loose string behind your ear.

"That sounds fun." You mock lightly making them smile.

"Anyway, good luck to you two." He says tenderly. "And Wanda, call me if you need help with Tommy. I know a good therapist."

You frown slightly, not understanding what he is referring to, but you prefer to stay out of matters that are none of your business. And then Bucky kisses Wanda on the cheek in farewell and waves to you smiling before leaving. You switch foot weights when you are alone with Wanda. Talking to other people is not exactly your strong suit these past few months.

"So..." You start clumsily when she turns to you.

"So." She repeats equally embarrassed. You then clear your throat and rush to pull your cell phone out of your pocket and hand it to her.

"Give me your number." You say. "That way we can arrange...whatever this is."

Wanda smiles weakly as she accepts the device, and you ignore the curious look when she notices the cracks in the screen. A moment later she hands the cell phone back to you.

"I gotta go." She says. "I need to pick up my kids from school."

You nod slightly and force a smile to say goodbye, and Wanda copies your movement before leaving.

You stare at your cell phone next, noticing the slight anxiety in your stomach as you read the contact "Wanda Maximoff" on the screen.

//-//

By the weekend, you are miserable. Just like the first few months.

You spilled some tea under your bed, and when you went to clean it up, you ended up taking the objects that were lying there. And then you found a crumpled piece of paper.

It was your farewell speech. The words you wrote down to speak on the day of the funeral. The paper you pulled out of your pocket when you got home from the ceremony and probably fell under the bed when you collapsed on the floor from crying so hard.

Suddenly your chest tightened and you couldn't breathe. But you didn't want your mother to worry, so you concentrated on remembering the exercises your therapist had taught you.

And when the room started to get too small, you left.

But because it was cold and rainy, you had just taken a hot shower and had decided to brew tea before you finished putting on a sweater, you had bent down to pick up your socks, and the liquid fell on the floor.

You went outside without your shoes, and your mother let out a worried exclamation when she saw you standing outside, staring at nothing.

"Honey?" She asked walking out the door after seeing you through the kitchen window. "Honey, what is it?"

You didn't answer. Your face was wet. Your mother's hands wrapped around your shoulders, and she gently pushed you inside, worried that you would end up getting hypothermia.

"I'm fine." You gasped as she led you inside, but she just shook her head. "I'm fine."

"No, honey." She retorted making you frown. "You're not."

"Mom."

"Sit down."

And then there were blankets around you, and socks on your feet. And your mother was in the kitchen, on the phone, but everything seemed stuffy. You began to be absent again. Thousands of memories flashing through your eyes.

An image of yourself on that living room floor, laughing while your girlfriend had her arms wrapped around you. Your mother was pouring a glass of wine for each of you, and you were happy to tell her about your engagement.

Then an image of you running across the room, trying to dodge the tickles your father tickled you while you laughed.

Then a puppy in your hands on the floor. You looked at it fondly, laughing at how cute it looked.

Looking down, you saw a hand on your thigh. It was your wife's, the ring on her finger. She smiled at you. You were happy because that was the day you told your mother about the house purchase.

You gasped slightly when you felt someone's hand on your shoulder suddenly.

"I need you to tell me three things you can see." It was Agatha. God, you should have been out of reaction long enough for her to get here. Wiping away your tears, you took a deep breath, trying to reason straight.

"I... I..." You started, but your brain didn't seem to obey you. You took another deep breath. You could see the carpet, so you told her so.

"Two more." Agatha asked tenderly, her hand caressing your back from top to bottom.

"The... table." You replied crying. "I can see the table."

"That's right, honey." She said. "Just one more now. Tell me what else?"

"My feet." You add breathlessly. "I can see my feet."

"Now breathe with me, okay?" She asks. "Like I taught you."

The exercises help you to calm down again. You apologize for scaring your mother, and for making Agatha drive to your house, but neither of them is upset with you. You feel exhausted, but the doctor wants to talk to you after she accepts the cup of coffee your mother offers her.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" She asks as you sit on the covered porch, fluffy pillows around you.

You lower your gaze to the floor, sniffling lightly.

"I found my grief speech." You count. "Under my bed. The next minute I was outside."

Agatha sighs.

"You ready to talk about the accident."

You raise your eyes quickly, frowning, because it wasn't a question.

"W-what?"

She takes a deep breath, crossing her legs.

"It's suffocating you." She clarifies. "You need to talk or these attacks will happen again."

"I-I don't..."

"It won't be today." She interrupts with a tender smile. "Tonight you need to sleep. But we won't prolong this any longer. You need to talk about it, even if it’s only to scream."

Clenching your jaw, you hold back your tears as Agatha takes one last look at you before getting up. She murmurs that she will see you on Monday, but you don't look at her.

//-//

You don't sleep well on Sunday. And it's definitely because you can't stop thinking about your appointment.

And it goes well for the first twenty minutes. Agatha doesn't pressure you, and agrees to hear about your week, without mentioning the incident on Thursday.

There is a pause after you have told her about the dog barking noise in the early morning and then you know it is time to speak up.

"I was driving." You say softly suddenly, ignoring the feeling that your throat wants to close up. Agatha has her hands folded in her lap as she listens to you. "She...she was sleeping in the passenger seat." You swallow dryly, trying to count and not get caught up in the memory again, your heart racing. Talking is almost like going back there. "I looked at her for a moment and I got distracted... and then... we just..."

You only realize that you are crying because tears fall on your hand. You blink, sniffling. Taking a deep breath, you continue.

"We fell into the water, and Nat...she just...I couldn't get her belt off." You gasp breathlessly. "The water just...kept coming up around us. And she looked at me, and... she just shook her head like she knew what was going to happen." You tell between sobs. Agatha's eyes water, but she doesn't interrupt. "I just...she pushed me. She pushed my hands away and she told me she would follow me. And god... my dumb brain believed her!" You confess angrily. "She told me she was right behind me! And I swam out and when I came up she wasn't with me."

You shut up, not being able to tell anymore through the sobs. You can't even see the office clearly because of the tears.

It takes a moment for you to speak again, your head down.

"When I swam back, the car was completely covered with water everywhere" You recount. "I...I was going to dive again.... I wanted to get her out of there. But the people who saw the accident jumped in after us. And they pulled me out of the water. And I kept thinking that if I hadn't been distracted, she...she would be...."

"No." Agatha interrupts by offering you a tissue. "Natasha had a stomach injury, don't you remember?" She counters and you gasp, the words echoing in your brain. "That's why you couldn't remove the belt."

And then you were remembering clearly now.

Soft music echoed in the car as you hummed the tune and drove to your friends' house. Your wife mumbled softly beside you, making you smile as you watched the sleeping figure. The red hair in front of her face.

"Hey sleepyhead." You called softly, looking away from the track for a moment. "We're almost there."

Nat muttered in agreement. You bit your lip, thinking she looked beautiful. And then you heard a noise, and a white light in the window. You barely had time to frown when the impact threw your car off the road.

Your body tensed immediately as you sat up, looking around with desperation. The car was sinking fast and you turned to Nat.

A wound on her forehead was bleeding, and she was clearly disoriented as you touched her hands. You hurried to unbuckle her belt, but it was jammed tightly in her waist, and you gasped in shock at the wound.

"N-no." You grumbled, trying to move the metal, but Nat gasped in pain, pushing your hands away. You could barely breathe in desperation. Your feet were freezing, because the water was already at your ankles. "Babe, move please. We have to get out."

Nat advanced toward you, taking off your belt. You tried to touch her, but she pushed your hands away again, intending to guide you out.

" Sweetheart, go! Open the door! " she commanded and you shook your head, the water on your knees. Nat forced a smile, the tears in her eyes made your stomach turn. "Don't worry love. I'm right behind you."

As you opened the door, the water moved all the way into the car, and you held your breath Nat repeated the words "I'm right behind you" one more time. And then you swam out.

When you reached the surface, you were alone.

Sobbing, you couldn't say anything else to Agatha, and she proceeded to stroke your back, trying to soothe you with words of affirmation.

"I need you to remember some things honey." She says tenderly. "You couldn't have helped Natasha. She got stuck. You have to stop blaming yourself for what happened." Agatha whispers to you, and you sob. "Remember the investigation, okay? The police said that the driver of the truck was drunk and hit your car after he fell asleep. It wasn't your fault." Agatha says trying to remind you. You gasp, countless memories flooding your head at once. "Say that for me, will you?" She asks and you gasp. "Tell me it wasn't your fault."

You sob, burying your face in your hands. It takes a moment, but you repeat the words.

"It wasn't my fault." You whisper breathlessly. "It...it wasn't my fault."

When you leave therapy that day, you feel different.

You think that it is the healing process that is beginning to work. You still have a long way to go, but you have the feeling that a weight has been lifted off your back, because you have started to believe your own words. You could not have saved Natasha.

There is still a deep sadness in you, but you still buy your favorite drink on the way home, and try to stay in the living room for a few hours before going to your room when you are inside.

#wanda maximoff #wandaxreader #wanda x you #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #wanda imagine #wanda imagines #sorry for your lost #wandaxyou

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