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ofbreathandflame · 6 months

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(heavy discussions on sa - this is actually an older post that i made like months ago, and was actually the first draft of the amarantha taboo post, so some things sound similar! just a heads up!)

you know i actually think there is a wider discussion to be had about rhysand's sexual assault - or sexual assault and trauma as it functions in the wider narrative. ive always felt that bc the story puts rhysand in this vulnerable position (i.e. a victim of sexual violence) the story always needs to like...make up for it, if that makes sense?

what i mean is: the story creates this dynamic where rhysand is a victim; he has no power, control, or say - but it also has a very hard time reconciling to the fact that he was placed in this position. and so there's these weird placeholding pieces of information that often addle or confuse the narrative. and i talked about this before with rhysand's framing of his 'service to amarantha.' i also contributes to the moments of hyperviolence with rhys in the books, as if he constantly has to make up for the fact he was placed into these vulnerable positions in the first, implicitly.

the first book - and other books thereafter - imply that rhysand's court is specificially shielded from amarantha because he aligns himself (action word). rhysand's decision is framed as a 'sacrifice' which implies a choice (that he didn't really have). it always implies that rhysand is the one consciously 'one-upping' amarantha by 'agreeing' to be her 'right hand man' again - notice how despite the fact amarantha is characterized as a sexual deviant, she's rarely the focus. its what rhys 'gave' and not what 'amarantha did.'

and this is fine if this is the way rhysand chooses to see what happened to him - bc then that's a trauma response. he can't acknowledge it so its better for him to rationalize it - that would have been great writing.

but thats not how his sexual assault and role utm is discussed.

other characters view rhys sexual assault as a statement of heroism (which ew) and not a just a statement of amarantha's capacity for sexual violence. tarquin literally says something along those lines. which again is implying that RHYS HAD A CHOICE. we can't frame this as heroism. he was raped, he did not sacrifice something...it was taken.

in the initial scenario - where we remove the idea of autonomy (e.g. the idea that rhys purposely aligns himself with amarantha) he's a victim. but then - so is tamlin, tarquin, beron, kallias, and helion. in short - rhys being taken advantage of says nothing about him. it's a statement on amarantha's cruelty. but the story isn't satisfied with this bc...how would he be any different than tamlin whose vilified for being directly affected by his trauma, who 'sat on his ass for fifty years' as the book says.

its the tragedy of how male sexual assault is rationalized in this series. the story literally purposely sets up a mirror position where rhys and tamlin are consistently compared for how they work through some of the craziest trauma ever known to man. the level of trauma the story is asking these characters to 'overcome' is actually quite insane.

so the story ups the ante, it doesn't want rhys to be 'just a victim,' it wants him to be the MAN TM. bc tamlin and tarquin are 'just victims' so ewww. like even lucien is given another horribly written experience with sexual assault (which it literally has to bend the worldbuilding to accomplish) and then kind of position his complaints abt ianthe as whiny. or how tarquin's trauma is...not 'dark' enough for feyre. these men are often characterized as cowardly or not enough in relation to rhys. helion, thesan, tarquin, and tamlin are all consistently characterized as 'cowards' with little to no initiative or backbone.

so the story does that thing where it provides impossible situations: rhysand is the most powerful being in the world, he's so powerful that even without his 'real' power, he's still light years more powerful than the others when they're powers are ripped away. he can read minds, and has two wraiths that can literally walk through the walls and spy. he's often sent on missions on behalf of amarantha and can waltz in and out of the spring court without any issues (ie. its easy for him to convince amarantha he needs to go to the spring court multiple times. and then when he works for amarantha - he's the mastermind, not her. he's playing her all along and blah blah blah). but then it doesn't know how to write this dynamic with rhys and amarantha. and then it depowers him, while shaming the other men in the series for not doing 'enough' even when the most op character with all of those advantages isn't even able to over power her.

there's little introspection into amarantha as a character and as a villain -- and you'll notice she's hardly ever mentioned after the first book...despite the fact that she was literally the high queen of prythian and was the governing oppressive force for a half-century. as said in this post - the story isn't actually concerned about making a point about male sexual asault.

and that's why i talked about why that amarantha taboo is...kind of important to how the story chooses to conceptualize sexual violence/assault. the choice to create amarantha (and ianthe and maeve too) as these caricatures of sexuality - which is pretty much the case of all of sjm's villains.

the story doesn't want to fully commit to a tactical scenario, because it doesn't believe that he's a victim in that capacity - or at least that the victimhood is valid. bc its spends so much time invalidating the male trauma around rhys, the only way to make a distinction between rhys and the others to have rhys "orchestrate" his own assault to save everyone.

#anti sjm #anti rhysand #anti feyre #anti sjm: rhysand #anti feysand #anti sjm: amarantha #anti acomaf #this was actually something ive thought about for while #i can never quite put into words the weirdness in narrative framing around #amarantha #in which the story can never just allow rhys to actually be a victim without having to moralize his actions #believe or not #it actually would be much more compelling if rhysand's behavior were framed #as trauma responses. he doesn't have to be moralized #he just has to make sense in the given frameworks of the story #or the story could just drop the morals an just allow these characters to be shitty in a grimdark way

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gravyhoney · 2 months

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Hi, typing this on my computer bc I'm actually going insane and I'll fry my phone trying to type this all on there.

So my roommates and I finally watched parachutingkittens' video on misogyny in Lego Ninjago (not relevant to the rest of the post, thought I should mention it bc neither of my roommates are into Ninjago but the video was why we were discussing Ninjago) and it was extremely good.

Afterwards, we were talking about Misako a lot, and one of my roommates asked if Misako and Garmadon knew about the prophecy about Lloyd before having him. Which like, idk if they did, idk if it even existed before Lloyd was born, I don't remember if it was ever explained, but anyways, it made me realize something sooooosososo devastating about them and you KNOW it's crazy that I'm talking about this bc I NEVER post abt Garmadon and rarely abt Misako, but LISTENNNN OK

Imagine the prophecy did exist, and they knew about it long before Lloyd was born, also taking into account the fact that Garmadon didn't fully succumb to the venom until after Lloyd was born. So because of this, they decide not to have children in an effort to prevent the prophecy from playing out. But it's been literally thousands of years since Garmadon was bitten, and he and Misako have been together for quite a few years already and they make the ultimate decision that he's been ok up until this point and he's doing literally fantastic despite the venom, and they might be in the clear on that front even though it's still a risk. They deem the risk factor to be very small, and decide to have Lloyd. And they do! And they're happy! And then the literal horrors happen because Garmadon can't fight the effects of the venom anymore! And I just think it's devastating, as someone who doesn't spend a lot of time even thinking about Garmadon and Misako.

#ninjago #lego ninjago #ninjago lloyd #ninjago garmadon #ninjago misako #mason posts #mason talks #if it was confirmed they knew abt it beforehand or not #pls tell me lmao

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19burstraat · 6 months

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proving kaz is a tidemaker, even tho it's not canon and shouldn't be, but I'm gonna argue for it anyway

I already made this post ages ago and now this has been in my drafts for even longer, I just unearthed it... but I'm making it again, more in depth, bc I didn't hit on everything I wanted to last time. obviously this isn't canon bc the point of kaz is he's Just Some Guy and how that really really pisses off more powerful people, and I think that's definitely best, Kaz NEEDS to be otkazat'sya for his function in the story... but if you ever wanted to prove it in a fic, shit is EASY. (I am vaguely considering how it might work out in a fic. we'll see. I've done stuff that couldn't/I wouldn't want to be canon before with my jordie-lives fic, so...) I'll mostly talk in the context that he'd be a tidemaker bc I feel like that's the conclusion a lot of this comes to, but some of the points are more generalised.

obviously the basic argument everyone makes for this is that the reason kaz was able to get back to shore from reaper's barge is bc, subconsciously or not, as a tidemaker he could control the currents to help him, since that's one of the most basic tidemaker powers. in the harbour scene, he notices that the tide has moved to work against him, but it doesn't seem to prove much of a problem; he attributes it to his new will to survive, but... Well. Kaz is exceptionally good at withholding information, even in his own POV.

grisha not using their powers become ill or weaker; kaz isn't really physically ill but he has an element of the underfed and sallow about him that's generally attributed to living in the barrel.

kaz is also ESPECIALLY horrified by the state of mikka, the tidemaker under the influence of jurda parem at the start of SOC; this is attributed to his past trauma and his dislike for things he can't rationally explain, which, yeah, but he is thrown in a way we don't really see again for the rest of the series. he instantly thinks of jordie, and it's maybe the one time he succumbs to superstition in the whole series.

the obvious explanation for how kaz knew that coffee extract and paraffin hid the scent/evidence of grisha is that he's very clearly involved in smuggling (jesper mentions how coffee grounds were used when packing smuggled jurda shipments) but the second explanation,,, is that he uses them himself. he comes up with the solution with IMMENSE speed and he just like, has the coffee extract around. ok, sure, not that hard to get hold of, but still. and coffee gets mentioned in relation to him at least a few times, most noticeably the 'bitter coffee eyes' thing inej uses, which is amusingly romanticised, but also... inej why do you associate coffee w kaz... something you've noticed abt him?

(but then, you wonder why he didn't suggest this to jesper previously; the answer I'm sure he would give you is he did, when it was a problem. before that it wasn't a problem and jesper was doing fine at staying hidden on his own)

the gloves can also add to this one, since they presumably at least cover his wrists and therefore his pulse somewhat, though obviously that's not their main function.

recovers with startling speed from nearly drowning at the ice court; matthias has to get his breathing going again but he's almost immediately fine after. I know yk, heist fantasy book, gotta keep going, but still

kaz is almost completely correct about the methods, powers of, and appearances of the council of tides (one single thing, the method of hiding their faces, is wrong.) impressive, no...? he is also shockingly apathetic in the face of their threats; they fill his lungs up with water and he just coughs it up and then is like "lol" immediately after. this is funny no matter what the fact of the matter (major general of the idgaf war) but the fact his link to them is left hanging is also a thread that could be easy to pick up. I think it would be hilarious if he was secretly in the council, but I won't stretch it that far bc they clearly don't like him lmao, that would have to be a proper AU.

in the dregs, kaz has a corporalki (nina) and a materialki (jesper) but no etheralki. wouldn't it be prudent to recruit one, if he could find one? or maybe he doesn't need one. if he already has one around, for an emergency of emergencies... for a rainy day... (ha ha)

the way kaz's trauma is often described as manifesting, is with the rising of the harbour waters; so it's pretty reasonable to suggest that in suppressing that, he'd also, inadvertently or not, suppress any kind of tidemaker/etheralki impulse or power. possibly he can't even tell the difference between the two, or they're so tangled up he can't really separate them anymore, which is why he doesn't so much as even think to attempt to use it. still, if this was the case I think improvement with one would not necessarily improve the other, or vice versa. kaz hypothetically using grisha power he'd had suppressed would not magically make his touch aversion go away, I think that'd be weird, and I'd not want his PTSD to be passed off as solely being the sickness from not using grisha power, that's reductive as hell. but I can see them certainly being two things very much intertwined.

we don't know a lot about grisha who are native to kerch, but assumedly he'd not have had much cause to use it in his childhood, on a farm somewhere inland, so most, if not all, of his experience with using it would likely be irretrievably tied to ketterdam and jordie so no wonder he just wouldn't use it. I don't think he'd even see it as feasible. perhaps it would be a very very final resort, but he'd never let it get to that point, he'd always want to try something else first. and anyway, he'd not be trained.

the sankt vladimir story is also thematically quite close to Kaz; holding back the harbour waters until he's finally too exhausted and lets it drown him. I like this regardless of this analysis actually it's a good comparison. patron saint of the drowned and unlikely achievement....

even if kaz wasn't an otkazat'sya, after all that happened, I think he'd try very hard to pretend he was. it couldn't save jordie, therefore in his extreme as hell thinking around that entire thing, I imagine he'd reason it wasn't useful, that he could get on better without it, and, like jesper, think it was a liability.

this would add a wild layer to him being the one to have the jurda parem on him for almost all of crooked kingdom; it would make it feel like his plan z was to take it himself. certainly he'd sooner do that than let jesper take it.

and finally: thematically, it slays. like half of the imagery around kaz (and kanej) centres around water (think the bathroom scene, how he only washes in front of her, etc) and that plays into both of their trauma, plus religious imagery, all this... it's a fantastic bit of extra theming. it just doesn't really work with how his character operates.

basically I think you could DEFINITELY make it work and it'd be a killer fic but again it's one of those things, like jordie living, that I don't really want to be canon because it undermines something about kaz's character that I consider pretty critical; in this case, that kaz is not really endowed with any special power or circumstance, he's just bloody-minded and clever, but that's enough for him to pull off almost impossible jobs anyway.

#six of crows #crooked kingdom #kaz brekker #soc duology #soc #my post #six of crows duology #this has been in my drafts for sooo long lmao #it'd be an interesting fic but idk how I'd frame it. I'll have a think

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time-is-restored · 1 month

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im seeing so many people say that sophietexas said shit she unequivocably Did Not Say so like. just for my own peace of mind.

when dream asked what she'd said about him/george, she explained that she had tweeted a friend's misogynistic experience with george (without details), which she took down because it 'caused more harm than good' and 'it was becoming more about me [than the victim]'.

they shared a screenshot of the tweet with him

dream, assuming there was more to the story (apparently he'd been told she was talking shit about him?) asked what else she'd said. he also asked why he/george wouldn't know what incident she was referring to if it was 'that bad'

sophie clarified they only tweeted about george, and said the interaction in question was not assault, and they wasn't accusing george of that

dream asked for more details, accusing them of not wanting to 'hear another perspective'. basically saying it wasn't fair that they'd say this shit when it could be a 'miscommunication' or not true

sophie said again she wasn't going to say anything else because it wasn't her story to tell

dream said that was ridiculous, and asked why they'd had positive interactions in the past if she was so negative towards them now

sophie explained george had ignored them + therefore been rude, didn't mention the context, and DREAM said it 'probably happened' in an among us lobby. made a comment about how he'll 'never know' why they don't like him

sophie said she didn't like his attitude. dream said it was hard to have a nice attitude when he was getting texts from people asking why everyone on twitter thinks he's a 'serial rapist'

sophie said that the conversation was getting unproductive, and that she wasn't going to expose her friend. she said she doesn't wish for dreams downfall, and she just wants the creator space to be safer

now, about what she DIDN'T say/do:

she did not accuse george of 'being a misogynist because he ignored her in an among us lobby'. she mentioned that they had been in among us lobbies when dream said he didn't remember her. separately to that, she said that george had ignored her when they'd spoken. seperately to that, the misogynistic behaviour accusation was her sharing a friend's personal experience. all she ever said was that george was rude to her.

they did not accuse george of assaulting anyone (aside from expressing support for caiti), and they clarified that their friend's negative experience was Specifically Not Assault before they deleted all related tweets.

she did not accuse dream of literally anything. i cannot emphasise this enough. dream clearly thought/was told that she said something abt him, and kept asking what 'else' she said apart from the tweet (which she willingly showed). again, all she said about dream was that she thought he was nice, and now thinks he has a bad attitude.

sophie did not share her friend's story in detail because that wasn't what the friend wanted. if you think that's shady, please consider that dream went public in order to accuse connor + sophie of saying shit about him/george without having proof. if sophie had named her friend, or given details, that knowledge would've become public too. then please consider the reaction that caiti has received these past few weeks, after accusing george of something george admitted to. consider the ways people are still calling her a liar, or a clout chaser, or of exaggerating/changing her mind and calling it assault after the fact, after george has agreed that what she said happened happened. would you, knowing that context, want to expose your friend (who already didn't want to come forward personally!) to that level of scrutiny and judgement?

leave sophie the fuck alone come on guys. their 'crime' is not liking george or dream and expressing that to dream's face. they made a tweet on behalf of a friend which they took down bc they felt it was detracting from caiti's story. that's literally it.

#anyway if anyone looks at this interaction and genuinely cannot understand why sophie wouldn't give more details #like. i don't know what to say to you. a statement as mild as 'george ignored me' was met with interrogation #downplaying and acting as if she was incorrect for feeling hurt. that's not how interpersonal conflict works interestingly enough #anyway. sophietexas PLEASE get behind me holy shit #ppl are acting like they cussed him out and accused him of war crimes. she literally said he had a bad attitude can we please get some #perspective #sophietexas #sa cw

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hearthown · 28 days

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I have some theories I want to share: I'm not sure if you've talked about this before, but I've always been interested in Tobias and Alice's relationship because we heard/know so little. All we know is that she was the love of his life (stated in tbh). I think their relationship is definitely going to come up in the Prague story because, tbh scene where Tobias talks about Alice makes it seem like he knew or at least suspected her survival of whatever killed her (saving Alice's opinion/judgment of the boys when they're ready/done. It could either be interpreted as him knowing alice so well he knew what she would say or he was literally going to save her judgment for another time). Because it's Tobias, the comment about saving Alice's opinions for when the boys are ready/worthy, her cause of death never being explicitly stated (It just said the grief of losing toby had something to do with it in thl. WAS THAT ONE OF YHE CLUES JLB SAID SHE HID IN THL?!), and the fact that he knew toby was alive, I think Tobias had known about Alice or helped her disappear. Btw I lowkey think Nan knows because it's her daughter. This probably didn't happen, but It'd be so interesting if toby and Alice had crossed paths while he was on the run.

Thank you for sharing your theories! Yes, there's a lot we don't know about Tobias and Alice's relationship – and I definitely feel like it'll be addressed in Games Untold (Prague story like you said) since there were hints regarding Alice & Prague (they seem to be connected) in TBH. Also, there's a pearl necklace on the cover of Games Untold which I believe refers to Alice Hawthorne since in TBH, it was mentioned that the proof which Jameson passed to the Proprietor to prove his secret was a pearl containing poison.

Regarding Tobias' words, yes, I found that a bit sketchy. We know that Tobias knew that Toby never really died, so there's a chance that Alice knew too (which means that her "cause of death" mentioned in THL doesn't add up). MAYBE IT IS A CLUE! I'm not sure about Nan but I do know that Nan knows more than she lets on. It's possible!

Personally, after reading the snippets of thoughts Jameson had regarding Prague, I had a feeling that Alice wanted nothing more to do with the Hawthorne family (SOMEHOW). I know this sounds really bad and I admit that I'm missing A LOT of the important pieces but that's kind of like the vibe I'm getting (anyone who has a different view on this, please lmk bc I feel so bad writing this abt Alice 😵‍💫).

In TBH, it's mentioned that whoever Jameson saw in Prague (presumably Alice) told him that "there are ways to take care of problems" and (if it was Alice) she gave him a warning in the form of the pocket watch containing the pearl filled with poison. I'm guessing that she told Jameson not to tell anyone that she was alive (hence, the frequent mentions of a secret he couldn't tell his brothers and even Avery) and if he ever did, she'd be taking care of the problem by getting rid of whoever else knew (circle back to the poison). It was also mentioned that the poison was undetectable, untraceable, so it could hint towards getting rid of someone without the world knowing.

Tobias also mentioned (to Gray and Jamie) that "if she is the one, she will destroy you". Alice was that person for Tobias. And maybe "destroy you" means destroy Tobias' legacy??? Why would Tobias even say that if Alice didn't somehow destroy him in a way? (I'm reaching too far here 😭) but in summary, there's a lot of mystery surrounding Alice Hawthorne and I hope we can resolve it in the next few books.

#the inheritance games #the hawthorne legacy #the final gambit #the brothers hawthorne #grayson hawthorne #jameson hawthorne #nash hawthorne #xander hawthorne #the hawthorne brothers #avery grambs #avery kylie grambs #grayson davenport hawthorne #jameson winchester hawthorne #xander blackwood hawthorne #nash westbrook hawthorne #tobias hawthorne #alice hawthorne #games untold

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traumxrei-archive · 2 years

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【 glittering desires 】

author's note: here we go, this is the homage to the fact that fairy gala leona actually came home :'))) look this card is pretty but it was also pretty expensive haha- also we don't talk abt how fast i wrote this after i got the inspo... anyways. i hope you have fun reading this bc i sure had fun writing it !

characters: gn! prefect, leona kingscholar

word count: 1.6k

tags: leona is a bully /lh, your honor this man is madly in love, no bc he's so mushy and for what ??, he's 100% whipped, bc he's leona there's banter, he sees the prefect and he's like "wow sparkly...i love them..." that's it, that's the fic.

[ or read it on ao3 | the fairy gala collection ]

When he woke up from his nap, it was to the sound of their voice. At first, he thought it was his mind playing tricks on him; giving him dreams that were too far out of his reach. Dreams spun of laughter that were far too sweet to ever be fully his. Mere fantasies that Leona couldn't even believe in, let alone grasp.

And it was annoying how often he found himself dreaming of them lately. Especially after this stupid, annoying task that the damn crow assigned them. So he grunted, pressing his eyes shut further; hoping that the image of them would finally disappear.

That was until he felt the tug on his leg, "Leo~na? Are you still asleep? Geez, how did you even make it up there?"

Ah. That was the real them, wasn't it?

Weighted eyelids eased open, watching as they clambered up the tree to get to him. He made no attempt to move; keeping his tail as still as he could. Instead, he watched— thoroughly amused— as they huffed, finally managing to haul themself onto a nearby branch.

He chose that moment to finally speak, "Crewel's gonna flip if you get that dirty."

Their shoulders jolted, " Sevens– How long have you been awake for?"

"Just now," Leona yawned, giving his neck a stretch. "What're you doing here?" He watched with unease as they situated themself on the branch. He reached for his magic pen, just in case.

"I was looking for you," They chuckled lightly. "Vil-senpai was flipping his lid over you escaping while he wasn't looking. He asked me to look for you."

"And?" Leona had to thank Vil for this opportunity. It wasn't often that he got time alone with them. "Did he think a herbivore like you could take me back there?"

"Stop being childish," They tutted, and the decorations on their clothes clinked as they moved. "You know Vil-senpai's only being harsh because we don't have much time. And besides, you're the centerpiece of our show."

"Damn right I am," Leona said, infusing his words with arrogance as a ploy. "And this star needs some rest from that guy's tyranny."

"C'mon, I'll accompany you back and watch your practice," They bargained, holding out a hand. And Leona considered it for a moment. Having them there would be better than not having them there. But that kind of deal was too easy.

He raised a brow, "You think that's gonna work?"

"Mmm, Ruggie-senpai told me to try it out," There was a foolish smile on their face. It made Leona look away; frustrated from how unaware they were. "Guess he was wrong."

"'Course he was."

"So then how will I get this great and mighty Leona-sama back to the practice rooms?" A hand was placed exaggeratedly on their chin.

Leona jumped down before they could say another word. It was better to let them trip over themselves to think of how to repay him. After all, the person who wants something is always at a disadvantage. They just had more to lose.

He brushed off his pants, untangling the sash before sparing them a glance, "You coming?"

"Wh- it took me five minutes to get up here-! Hey, don't leave without me!" Leona paused. His sharp eyes didn't miss a glint in the grass, pocketing the item as he waited. His ears twitched slightly, making sure that they didn't just face-plant on the ground.

A moment later and they were next to him, complaining all the while, "Why are you suddenly...no, this is a good thing. But–"

"Just changed my mind," The corner of his lips twitched at their blatant disbelief. "What? Even stubborn lions can change their minds sometimes."

They made it into the hallways of Pomefiore before they spoke again, "I'm still trying to figure out your angle."

"There's no angle," Leona said, and their eyes narrowed at him like he was crazy.

"Ah wait," They stopped in their tracks, patting down their front. "I almost forgot about this." In their hands were the...weeds that Leona had in his hair. Crewel and Vil had called it an "avant-garde masterpiece of a hair accessory" but really, it looked like a weed to Leona.

"Go and sit," They tilted their head towards the throne in the center of the Pomefiore lounge.

He scoffed, "No way. There's literally a normal chair right there."

And him? Sitting on that shiny excuse of a throne? The very one Vil sat on? Definitely not. Even if a small part of him longed for a throne of his own, that...thing was no throne. It was a toy for make-believe at best.

They tugged at his arm, "Come on, I bet everyone wants to sit in that at least once." Their eyes met his; twinkling mischievously, "Are you scared someone will see? Everyone's at their clubs right now."

"Fucking– just...do it quick," He grumbled, settling onto the velvet plushness of the so-called throne.

His mouth pressed into a firm line as they drew closer, trepidation crawling under his skin. Their fingers brushed through his hair lightly at first. Then gaining confidence, till they were combing through the brown strands thoroughly.

As they leaned in closer, he watched as they eclipsed the brightness of the chandelier; basking him in their shadow. They were close enough that Leona could smell the scent of flowery perfume clinging onto their clothes; no doubt courtesy of Vil.

They weren't looking at him. No, they were far too focused on his hair. It was a good thing, really. Because if they were looking at him...well, Leona wouldn't know how they would react.

Emerald eyes traced over their features: the concentrated crease of their brows, the curve of their cheek, and the length of their nose. The slightest part of their lips, the slow rise and fall of their shoulders almost lulling him into a sense of calm. He clutched at the chair, trying to ward off his observations to no avail.

Sevens, he wanted to kiss them. So badly. But he couldn't. Not here, and definitely not now. And not when he knew there was a big chance that they would never see him the same.

Instead, he reached a hand up, brushing firmly at their shoulder. That caused them to flinch in surprise, their gaze finally meeting his. His lips parted; throat feeling oddly dry, "There was somethin' there."

"Oh," Their eyes darted to his hand and back. "I think that might be glitter. Grim spilled a whole bunch of it on me earlier."

"Glitter," He repeated. "That's why you're so...shiny." He tried to ignore the halo of light that wrapped around the crown of their head, making them a monarch in their own right. Even if all they ruled over was his heart.

"You say that like you aren't shining yourself, Mr. Centerpiece," There was one last touch to their hair before they finally pulled back. Leona breathed out a long sigh of relief. "And done. Now it doesn't look like you rolled around in the bushes."

"Hah. As if that guy won't grill me anyway for disappearing," He stood up, trying to get the feeling back in his fingers from how hard he was gripping the chair. "C'mon, lead the way."

"You say that like you haven't been going there every day for this past week." They say that. They say that and yet they still held his sleeve as they lead the way.

"'M not a kid, herbivore," Leona said, though he made no move to brush them off. Rather, he enjoyed the sight of them leading him for once.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to make sure you don't decide to slip away again," They said as they reached the room. "Now go and accept your fate. Running away is futile at this point." He stepped in front of them, reluctant to enter the room.

"Hey," He waited till they were finally looking at him again. He wanted to say a simple 'thank you'. That was what you said to people who you wanted to thank, right?

But what came out instead was, "You almost lost this." He pulled out the thing he had pocketed earlier. One of their bracelets. He could hazard a guess as to how they dropped it; probably during their earlier tree climbing.

They searched their wrists, eyes wide, "That's...one of my bracelets."

"Good of you to notice," Leona slipped it onto his own wrist. "Come find me after my practice is over 'n I'll give it back. You owe me, alright herbivore?"

"So there was a catch," He heard them mutter to themself. "Bastard."

His tail was high in the air as he lumbered into the practice room from hell. Kalim was in the corner doing squats, for some reason. And Vil was focused on Jamil. Though he was sure that Vil didn't miss his entrance. Leona took his place near one of the windows, heaving a sigh as he cast a spell to fill the vases with water.

Well, he had to say it was worth the trouble this time. After he finished his laps and tuned in for a lecturing by Vil, he had a, mm, meeting with the herbivore. Their bracelet made a light clink as he started his first lap. Leona felt a smile slowly suffuse his usually-indifferent expression. Ah, he really couldn't wait after all.

thank you for reading Leona Being Painfully In Love the musical fic !! i hope you enjoyed :DD if you did, go check out my masterlist or the rest of the fairy gala collection !

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daz4i · 6 months

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yknow what i have nothing to do and need to distract myself from *gestures vaguely* and i mentioned it a few times in the last few days so i may as well talk abt that one theory i like

first of all let me say. it's not my own original theory lol i can't remember where i saw it first but it's p common so it'd be a bit hard to trace who was the first to bring it up

second. i know it contradicts some themes or at least some messages bsd is going for. which is why i don't think it's too likely (on the other hand some elements in the story can def allow a plot point of that sort to happen without being contradictory asdfhg matter of perspective ig)

ANYWAY the actual theory:

dazai knows he's in a story and aware that he is a character

backup for that theory:

honestly not much. a minor fourth wall break for laughs (the "wow~" scene. you know the one) isn't really proof, but if it was true it'd add some depth to that scene i think!

the main thing i think is cool abt this theory is how it recontextualizes a lot of things about him;

the thing that made me think abt making this post is that collection of dazai saying "you can't kill me" at various points of the story. most of them have context for each scene (atsushi can't kill him bc nlh will nullify the tiger, fyodor can't kill him bc he has the power of friendship, etc), but the fact the same line repeats multiple times makes it stand out to me

so consider this: dazai is confident that he won't die because he knows he can't die before the story is over, bc that's what the narrative decided. that's why none of his suicide attempts ever work (tho you already know my opinion on why that is, in the context of the story itself). he keeps trying tho bc man. it's tiring to be aware

that being said! well. we know he's been suicidal from a very young age. he sees no meaning in the act of living. and, being a character in a story, knowing that your life is all fake, can certainly make one's life feel meaningless, huh.

and ofc, alienation from those around him, since he seems to be the only one aware of the story. he is quite literally separate from the human experience bc of this

also some more angst :) i do firmly believe dazai feels a lot of guilt, more for meta reasons than him really showing it. guilt is a very big repeating element in no longer human and its protag yozo, whom i think dazai is obviously very inspired by. soooooo now consider this :) guilt over odasaku's death. in the context of the story, there is no reason for him to feel that, more or less. maybe nothing beyond "if only i called ango out earlier" "if only i got there in time and got him help", he didn't actually cause oda's death, not more than mori did for example, and he did the best he could too.

buuuuuuut what if he's a character in a story. he doesn't know if the story is about him yet, but given how other people around him don't seem to notice they're characters, it must be, right? the narrative depends on him. and, in that narrative, odasaku ends up dying. if he didn't exist, odasaku could live (really interesting to think abt that in the context of beast, too)

actually since i brought it up. beastzai definitely seems to know he's a character. he knows his existence doesn't mean much, i mean his whole universe is just an offshoot of the main one, literally an au of canon. that's even more meaninglessness on top of canonzai's meaninglessness, and he experienced both of them at once. no wonder he ended up killing himself damn 😩 (sorry this is a joke. ik he killed himself for some noble reason. but also i bet this made it easier)

an awareness of this level can explain some things like how dazai knows things are gonna play out in certain ways - he knows he's in a story, so he knows the narrative has to end in some satisfying way. the main characters have to win, so the doa have to lose. fyodor can't kill him. and we're back to the start

problem with this theory:

that thing i mentioned abt themes and messages in bsd. a lot of the story seems to tell us dazai is HUMAN. having him aware of everything on a meta level, imo, may cheapen that message, bc that quite literally makes him More than others in the universe.

then again the story (and asagiri in interviews lol) also seems to show again and again that he is exceptional and knows best so eh. like i said, matter of perspective

how i think it might work:

no longer human lmao

yknow how it was said The Book was created by an ability (and that's probably why it caused a singularity when beastzai touched it). well. what if the whole narrative we're following, in a way, in the universe of bsd, can count as an ability too. like a combination of The Book and poe's ability, kinda. (i've seen some theories in the past abt how asagiri is gonna be the final boss of bsd lol and that he would indeed have an ability that's just. *gestures at everything* this)

sooooo while nlh can't take him out of the story physically, it nullifies his ignorance to the situation. in a way, he's out of the story because he sort of watches it from an angle others can't

ok i officially ran out of brain power. i might add more in a reblog at some other point but for now these are the only thoughts i have. if you subscribe to that theory as well, or even just thing it's cool, i would love to hear some of your ideas - what other parts of dazai and his story do you think this changes? what does it mean about his relationships with other characters? please share if you have any thoughts on the matter!!! :)

#also as usual if you disagree that's fine just be nice about it hehe #dan rambles #maybe in that future addition i will brainstorm what that means abt his relationships etc.#but feel free to do it for me :P i'm too sleepy to think now

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walrus150915 · 7 months

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I AM DEEPLY SORRY BUT

I thought about Goldenheart fankids for a while so I've decided to make my own!

Now, it's important to acknowledge that I honestly believe that they wouldn't have kids post-movie. That makes sense thematically and it's kind of poetic if you think about it (a gay man being the end of his bloodline which started all this copaganda n stuff) but I😭😭 I couldn't stop thinking about this!!

I present to you:

THEIR KIDDO YUPIEEEEE

Some fun facts abt them:

- Aquila is a gender neutral name which means "eagle". I thought it'd be funny to keep the tradition of their weird medieval names. Eagle Braveman, a child of Godsfood Goodatsex and Staircase Braveman, gotta love that💅

- also yea. I gave them Bal's surname bc there's no way in the world Ambrosius would want to give them his surname. His bloodline ends with him in an good old gay tradition😎😎

- I think they'd be a happy accident tbh (if we're talking about seahorse dad situation shfjj)

- Nimona didn't expect to love them as much as she did but now they're literally her favorite person😭 siblings are REAL (although I think Nimona is like- sibling-uncle-aunt-family friend figure sorta kinda)

- About their personality? Well, they're reserved, not much of a talker, kinda socially awkward and overthinks a lot (just like their papas)

- They hate sports of all kinds like they CAN'T stand it. Also they don't know those knight traditions n stuff and have never held a sword in their life- I think that's a good "f u" to the system which expected children to become weapons bc Ballister, Ambrosius and especially Nimona would never let this child repeat all the stuff they all came through

- I don't think they even talked about their knightly upbringing to Aquila, and when Aquila asked about it they tried to avoid answering so bad

- About parenting btw- Ambrosius and Ballister both beat the "emotionally detached Asian father" allegations. These two are WAY too attached I'd say😭 they can be overprotective (cough cough Ballister) or overbearing (I see ya Ambrosius) sometimes (although Ambrosius is overprotective as well, if not more than Bal)

- Ambrosius tries his best to not repeat his parents' mistakes and let Aquila live a happy, relaxed childhood, but he slips from time to time. "Why did I have to work so hard to achieve even a little bit of acknowledgement from my parents and now this kid expects me to praise them even for the smallest of things" kind of deal. He slowly learns to relearn this way of thinking but- yeah, bro still has those good ol' Asian dad quirks

- I think Ballister had loving parents yet they couldn't provide for him or care for him properly because of poverty and social injustice. So now he makes sure Aquila has everything they need and are loved enough. It's really hard not to be overprotective of your child when you and your husband had an upbringing like theirs😭😭

- Aquila is kind of embarrassed by them because I think they both would be the type of dad who drives them to high school and makes them say "I love you too, dad" in front of their peers (like that into the spiderverse scene)

- With that said, they three all love each other despite all the hardships and stuff bc they're a FAMILYYYYY

- Nimona would be THE best person in the world for Aquila, she's their role model of sorts, I even think she'd be what helped them to realize they're enby in the first place

- Nimona would always be there for Aquila and would always be on their side even when they're in a fight with their dads

- They're the best buddies ever - Ballister expected Nimona to be jealous ("older kids of the fam" deal) but she wasn't in the slightest!

- Imagine Ballister and Ambrosius trying to make Aquila say "abba" or "appa", but the first thing they mumble is "Nim!" oh Nimona would DIE FROM LAUGHTERRR😭😭

Some general hcs:

- Ambrosius would read bedtime stories to Aquila when they were a kid and would miss this horribly as they grew up

- Ballister would make them clockwork toys

- Aquila loves sewing and customizing things

- Idk their sexuality honestly but I know that they love girls💅

- Ambrosius would distance himself from his family so much that Aquila barely knows them

- I think Aquila is aware of the whole Gloreth situation but doesn't care that much for her - after all, they know that it was some random kid 1000+ years ago whom everyone took as a hero when she wasn't

Some sketches of them shshwjne!!

Please don't ask me why Ballister looks like my grandpa😭

(Speaking of Ballister- I think at some point of Aquila's toddlerhood him and Ambrosius laid in their bed and Ambrosius was like: "Babe, what do you think of getting a second kid?"

Then Aquila immediately started crying in another room and Ambrosius signed heavily, standing up from the bed: "Yknow what? Forget what I said")

#nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #nimona fanart #fankid #also i know for the fact that with a 1000yo shapeshifter child and a toddler these two would have ZERO privacy #ambrosius would be so pissed off😭😭#let him kiss his husband #maybe more than kiss JQJDJAJAJAJSN #but yea #making this post is what healed my inner child #they arent perfect but they try... thats what matters #god bless #thank you for reading this i hope you enjoy whatever i'm talking about #aquila boldheart

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drawnaghht · 4 months

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Yuichi Usagi is [SURNAME] [given name]

lol I've written abt it before going into more specifics & making theories, but this post is just to clear it up again as a general ref for newer fans reading old or new posts abt it and finding themself confused... edit3(15.1): rightfully so! if you've ever watched more than 5 anime or just read some manga, you might recognize that Yuichi is most commonly a given name in Japan. Even viewers familiar with japanese would have made the same assumption. But the show itself uses it as a first name, so it becomes confusing. After jan 6th we found the behind-the-scenes lore for that too.

- clearest tell in the show itself that Usagi is his first name - his auntie calls him Usagi. What auntie calls their sole nephew or close family member by their family name? ... which would have to be her own family name then too...???

Secondly. He introduces himself as Usagi the more he's in the city. First as Yuichi Usagi, but then after a few chases, he gives up and introduces himself to Kitsune as "Usagi"in the 1st episode. boy wants to be known as Usagi haha.

edit 2 (8.1.2024): as of 6.01 we have official confirmation that this is fact + a little backstory! Yuichi is the boy's surname

the whole show, all the other characters use japanese naming convention - e.g. Gen introduces himself as Murakami Gennosuke to the Bat Squadron. it seems the other younger characters call each other by given name basis because they're either all around the same age or don't feel like using family names for each other. Often characters don't have family names because they're orphans (Chizu, Kitsune, Hana). Or it's the only name they go by in general (Tetsujin, Lady Fuwa).

it's that simple! you can headcanon whatever but at least know the show itself has named him this way.

I've already written about this b4 too but Yuichi can very rarely be a family name (apparently). there might be other reasons the show crew gave him Yuichi as a family name, but if that doesn't cut it, you can always adopt my theory that he has a rare two given names.

But yeah, the show makes it clear that Usagi is his first name. It's a spinoff based on Usagi Yojimbo and some of its stories and ideas, and made by fans of the comic and Stan's work. They decided to give him this name, for whatever reasons, and it's his name used in the show. There's too much much work in the show itself for them to give him a random name either, "just because they're ignorant" or even just bc they didn't research. They clearly did or the show wouldn't have some surprising elements to it as a spinoff or as a past+future combo of japanese aesthetics.

Him and the comics' original Usagi, Miyamoto Usagi can share a first name. I know it looks confusing coming from other shows where evryone has specific names. I know it's just generally confusing as a tmnt fan... but their names and tags can co-exist as-is. maybe i don't get out enough into other shows but I've never seen a fanbase stretch themselves so into a pretzel over characters sharing their first name. also Miyamoto Usagi is based on a famous historical samurai, more precisely - Miyamoto Musashi. His movie depiction was what inspired Stan Sakai in the 80s... ppl in real life share first and last names very often so it just doesn't bother me personally that they share one name, but not their family name. So I don't get anymore why ppl are upset that his name is a combo of two first names... I believe there's also a irl children's book author named Usagi Yuichi (maybe pseudonyms being animal names is more common in japan?idk) so I wonder if the crew knew about that 🤔

clearing this up again bc every time I see someone say smth about this show and it's some misunderstanding on top of a misconception, I just wanna make a simple chart to explain things lol. but i don't know if ppl would care even. I know ppl sorta dislike this show or don't care abt it anyways. but then... why talk about it? why share info like a fan who knows or cares about it... and then it's false info... so idk, if they're not a fan, don't take them at face value, but even if they're a fan, it's easy to share info without a source and have others think it's real. Be ready for info to change or your first impressions to break. I've mostly only theorised or drawn from the show itself so far, but even things I say might change if other evidence is provided. So... lol lets all just read into this show calmly I guess.

edit (7.1.2024): lol another thing to add that I didn't think about: there's a 1000 years between the generations of Miyamoto Usagi and Yuichi Usagi. so them not having the same surname would be considered quite normal (and so far, no evidence to conclusively say that M! Usagi is a grandpa... the scene between Usagi and his auntie in the evening in ep 1 also seems to allude that there are many generations between the og era and the future era and that Usagi's auntie is speaking of her own direct great grandfather and Miyamoto Usagi separately...

Anyway. That's all! Hope this is helpful to newer fans.

#yuichi usagi #srtuc #samurai rabbit the usagi chronicles #usagi chronicles #samurai rabbit #samurai rabbit: the usagi chronicles #aghht srtuc post

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camphorror · 2 days

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ok so hello people of tumblr. who wants to know what happened since i last regularly posted here????

i became friends with this girl at work i was loooowkey crushing on, we became too close way too quickly. she confided in me a month and a half into out friendship how she had a crush on a***d which caused her a sexuality crisis bc she was convinced she was gay until then. i felt weird but loved her too much to let something silly like this ruin the friendship. he started hanging out with us, i felt real fucking baaaaaad. life situations led me into telling a***d i liked him for ages. he said we're too good friends to ruin it, we're beyond that point! if i had said something earlier then maybe! then i found out he liked her!!! but he decided because of me he would stop talking to her!! i was living thru insanity bc of it. then me and him spent a month and a half being friends but also more than friends? but also "it's just good friends it's nothing romantic bc i said i don't feel the same i don't wanna ruin it you're one of the utmost important people in my life up there with my childhood friends blahblah" and we cuddled and hugged every time we met, texted every day after work until late at night, went thru a kissing/making out one evening after drinking a lot of alcohol drama. he initiated all of this!!! always!! i was in this weird grey area and thought everything is Fine because i know it's not a good idea

then almost a month ago he decided to ask her out! he didn't tell me in advance (despite the fact i told him if you ever choose to act about your feelings just say so). she did not tell me about it despite me being transparent with her all along, and despite telling me she thinks friendship is more important than all of this. so this went on for a week and a half, without me being told, whilst i was feeling weird asf and convincing myself i'm going crazy because of my anxiety bc everything was Normal. and then i found out thursday march 28th (haha a month ago exactly.. what a coincidence) because we were together and he said he can't wait for a "right time" like she wanted to. all of life collapsed from the feeling of betrayal from and anger at both of them. first i hated her, now i realised i hate him because he was at fault for all this messed up shit and took zero responsibility the one time we talked. i gave 2 of them chances to talk as some closure and we haven't spoken since. i truly hate him and think he's a shit person.

took a whole week off work after that first happened. was depressed at home. one day i decided to dress nicely and go meet my friend who just came back from abroad at the city of christ..... told her everything. then she took me to see a cool hostel i'd like bc it's in an ancient building. guy who works there studied with us but i didn't remember him lol. we talked & had wine then i got tipsy i overshared everything. he was the most charming and cute person i met.... (& a proper proper leftist too). we spent 3 hours there with him despite my friend wanting to kill me bc that WASN'T the plan. he was overly friendly, had a very interesting vibe.. esp abt the situation... then he told me how he's going abroad the next day and perhaps is gonna break up with his ldr gf... we sat together whilst my friend was in another room/on the side on her phone (I APOLOGISED PROFOUNDLY) and he even showed me pics of him from the gym... my biggest regret is when we left, had food with my friend and just got on the bus, he texted me on ig that i should come back to say bye again.. i didnt... then he came back from abroad last week and sort of said if i got the time i should come visit.. so of ci did lol but the Vibe was gone (as like... he didnt break up with the gf and therefore there was no vibe & i was fine with it lol). he asked me if i want him to teach me how to fight and i said yeah so besides updating him again on my woes we also literally fought with each other which was fucking fun. like he was properly teaching me what to do in a fight. i'm still feeling sore (that was 2 days ago) he is so cool and i wanna be his friend now that i am not cr*shing on him...

besides that life is still grim and i am going back to work in a day and gonna have to see those 2 people who ruined my life again aaaaand i know my mental health will take a dive. what do you even do when this shit happens

#txt #now i can be gone for another 6 months and update again i guess

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dmc5se · 7 months

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i made a post abt leon so i want to make one abt ada now . this will be even more incoherent than my leon post bc my thoughts abt ada are a lot less organized lol.

mainly just talking abt how ppl mischaracterize her despite ... literally everything. i'll probably mention re4r spoilers if that matters to you! i'll only make brief mentions to separate ways, so please be wary of that stuff :)

i feel like a lot of resident evil characters get mischaracterized, but ada seems to get it the worst imo. a lot of people seem to just take her at face value and they're so stuck on portraying her as manipulative or that she just doesn't care abt leon which is. not even true LMFAO

ada's been shown to care very much abt leon! she's saved his ass a lot despite the fact that she literally doesn't even need to. she could see him in trouble and just leave, but she doesn't because she.. cares about him? like i don't know why people like to close their eyes when it comes to this stuff.

i would like to bring up the umbrella chronicles, specifically ada's side story, death's door. death's door shows ada's escape from the NEST, and after she escapes from the sewers, she goes to meet with one of her contacts, who she finds dead. a computer powers on to show wesker, and as soon as he mentions her having aided leon, she seems to tense up almost. ada isn't really outwardly emotive for the most part, but the way i viewed her tensing up in that moment was something maybe close to anger?

obviously it could be me reading too much into it or reading it wrong, but she definitely didn't seem too happy as soon as leon's name left his mouth lol. yes it could also be because of him saying that she betrayed him, but ultimately it could've been a mix of the two.

i do want to try and tackle re2r now which is going to be kind of messy so bear with me if i word something weird.

i think re2r is where a lot of people grab on to the idea of ada strictly only ever manipulating leon and using him. and i'm not going to type out this big long thing and act like ada definitely didn't use leon for her own goal, because she did!

THAT BEING SAID, she does also express care for him. when leon gets shot in the shoulder, she patches him up and uses her trench coat to cover him up. did she have to? absolutely not. she could've just left him there without helping him, but she did!

ada really is not as cold and emotionless as some people like to portray her as, and i think acting like she's incapable of actually caring abt leon is genuinely just. dumb?

i'll jump to re4r now because the dogshit takes i've had to see abt ada even to this day kills me. a lot of them do seem to center on how people viewed her in 2r, but hopefully with the release of separate ways people start opening their minds abt her a little more.

i think 4r does a very good job showing how ada cares about leon! i don't want to dip too much into separate ways since i haven't played it yet and i've only watched a handful of things abt it, but like. she does do a lot of things to help leon during the story of 4r. she gets saddler's attention so that leon can help ashley. she does a LOT of things for leon very willingly! she very willingly helps leon and it really isn't just bc she's wanting to use or manipulate him lol.

there's so much to ada's character that people just don't understand and don't seem to want to understand, which does suck a lot. a lot of people do seem to think she's a bad person because of the work she does, and i have seen some people say that she Obviously Doesn't Care about this or that. not to bring up the ending to re4r but the moment wesker mentions that there would be billions of casualties, you can see her change in body language, and she immediately takes control of the chopper. yes, ada is morally grey, but ada isn't inherently a bad person. the point of morally grey characters is that they aren't supposed to be viewed as 100% bad OR 100% good.

ada's moral greyness seems to be a very weird point of contention for people, and while i do get preferring characters that are more direct about their motivations, i feel like having characters that are morally grey bring a lot to a story. if you have a cast of characters that are always 100% good or 100% bad and there's no hint of moral greyness, it's.. kind of boring?

like idk, personally i like that ada is more morally grey. i think it compliments how leon is very much hellbent on helping and saving as many people as he can.

i do think a lot of the dislike or outright hatred towards ada is bc of how people view + treat leon, which sucks. really ultimately, as naive as leon may be sometimes, he's not a baby. i think a lot of this also comes from general mischaracterization of leon, but that's a post for another day since this is already incredibly long LMFAO.

tl;dr: ada isn't a bad character just because you don't like her. ada isn't a bad person because of her being morally grey. i think watering her down to "bad and manipulative" without looking at the rest of her character is doing her a disservice. i'm not really saying all of this to be like "you HAVE to like ada NOW" but i do just want people to understand her a little more 😭

also really ultimately capcom is like. very bad at writing women so that doesnt really help.. anyway. thanks for looking at my long ass post abt how ada isnt bad and a bunch of other stuff

#resident evil #ada wong #theres definitely stuff im forgetting but this post is. already ungodly long so ill save it for another day LMFAO #like i have one thing especially that i could talk abt for a while but thats like swinging a bat at a hornets nest and i feel like im #already batting at it with this unfortunately 💔

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bonetrousled · 1 month

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can you talk about why you disliked undertale yellow? never played it or watched a playthrough but i’m very curious!

PREFACING THIS WITH A DISCLAIMER i know it is a passion project and it makes me Feel Bad that my feelings on it r this negative. i do not mean to discredit the years of work anybody put into it and i am So Happy that the general consensus is that people really liked it! i'm glad the team's work paid off. i am also going to be SUPER opinionated. undertale is my biggest interest of all time it has been my special interest for going on Nine Years . i am Wired to have very strong feelings on it . please do NOT take my opinion as a message to Not enjoy it if you do! play it and form an opinion on ur own time

also SPOILERS for the game!

that being said

i will first state the things i Enjoyed

music was phenomenal! it was very fun and atmospheric

artwork was very good! it makes me a little sad that the canon characters we see didn't really get the tlc/polish that all of the original content did, but that's ok!

i like how smarmy flowey was in the no mercy run. it was a little ooc at times but i had a blast (which will sadly become a negative) partly bc of his attitude

i love mo as a character. im going to rescue him from this game i just know it

ok. things that frustrate me from least to most (i will try to keep this brief bc i WILL go on a tangent if left unrestrained)

i wish the main cast had more variety in monster types. body shape, proportions, colors, etc! with how wide the array of the cast is in ut, it's just a little sad that the main cast here all roughly have the same build, height, and aren't really "monstery". lots of the non-main characters (i am including the feisty five in here) have more diverse and visually interesting designs to me and i wish there was just a bit more variety

add-on to the previous point: something abt the fact that dalv just kind of looks like a human Guy who is Purple with Horns makes me irrationally irritated. they could have put a little more of a bat motif in there or Something because the first time i saw him i genuinely didn't think he was supposed to be a monster

some of the fights are NONSENSE BULLSHIT HARD for no reason. some of these have been fixed since release but there were multiple segments that weren't even like. main story character fights that made me want to rip my hair out. additionally the shops are FEW and FAR between. it was a STRUGGLE to get enough healing items 90% of the time and i had to ration them out constantly

i know most were patched out and this is kind of a nitpick but the complete ABUNDANCE of grammatical and spelling errors on release took me out of the flow of things SO much. places that desperately needed a comma that had none, words completely misspelled (outside of punchlines for jokes), things like that. it wouldn't have been such a problem but it happened SO much and really got into the way of making sure dialogue progressed as normal. speaking of

i'm so sorry. half of the dialogue and jokes make me want to shriek and scream in agony. maybe it's just not my cup of tea and nobody is forcing you to have completely toby-fox-accurate jokes in your game but the majority of the jokes made in the pacifist/neutral runs fall completely flat for me. the general dialogue is very fanfic-esque to me in a way ? i do Not know how to describe it. it's not Good. along w that i'm sorry but in my opinion the way they wrote asgore in there is COMPLETELY out of character. i'm going to be so so honest mr king "fuzzy pushover" fluffybuns isn't going to go GET OUT OF MY SIGHT AND NEVER RETURN!!!!! the man got beat up by a child and took her in to train her. like yeah his garden is sentimental or whatever but like. he is such a Nice Guy. he would Not do that

the timeline does not make Any sense. if frisk is the first human to fall in YEARS to the point where everyone is losing hope of ever getting another soul for the barrier and most monsters don't recognize you as a human and let you interact w them freely why in the Fuck are undyne and alphys just like. alive and kicking here. why is alphys doing amalgamate shit already. what is going ON

and finally. the part that makes me the Most Irritated

i cannot fucking stand the story. I AM SORRY

i physically cannot expound on this as much as i want to bc the post is long enough as it is and i'll go on forever but generally speaking

i Do Not Like ceroba. i didn't really feel any connection or anything to any of the other characters in General but her entire deal and everything that surrounds it just makes me So Mad. like ok. i tried to get past the "oh my husband is a super important scientist (but not the royal scientist because that's alphys teehee but still REALLY important) and he's also secretly a boss monster (even though the only boss monsters we see are the Actual Fucking King and Queen of monsters and are the same monster subtype)" shit but like. THEN it's like. oh he's actually making a super secret magic serum that uses essence from a boss monster soul and a human soul (where did he get that. he made this after he was fired from his job. where did he get a human soul from) to give EVERY monster the power of a boss monster so that when we EVENTUALLY get enough souls to get to the surface (could literally be hundreds of years from now) we'll be strong enough to beat the humans (that's why asgore is collecting the souls in the first place. to shatter the barrier and become a god strong enough to beat the humans. that's the Point)

but WUH OH!!!! the serum is actually KILLING him!!!! and he never told his wife! so he leaves a series of tapes behind to tell her abt it after he dies and IN THESE TAPES he's like listen. here's this awesome potion im making. you need a BOSS MONSTER SOUL and a HUMAN SOUL to make it work. our daughter IS a boss monster. BUT. do NOT FUCKING use it on her. ok. DON'T. do that. ok love you (dies) AND FUCKING. her like 6 year old daughter walks in and speaks in a perfect eloquent sentence and says some shit like "we have to carry on daddy's legacy :(" and asks to be injected w the shit that we saw kill her dad SECONDS PRIOR and ceroba is virtually IMMEDIATELY like well ok if the kindergartner says it's fine. AND OF COURSE HER DAUGHTER IMMEDIATELY FALLS DOWN????

and when i tell u the like. WHOLE second half of the game is dedicated to this bullshit nonsense. ceroba has this whole thing where she's trying to kill you because you're pure of heart or whatever and it'll work for the serum or something and after a LONG ASS (stupid incredibly hard for no reason considering SHE IS NOT a boss monster) battle w her she's like ok i'm not gonna do that anymore i give up kill me etc. and in pacifist you're like nah i won't kill u i forgive you Hooray!

and so. right. youve been fighting the ENTIRE TIME. to find the missing kids. to get home. to leave the underground after figuring out what happened. there are only FIVE human souls at this point. having one more will NOT break the barrier. you've been fighting to LIVE this Entire Time. the story must end in clover's death SOMEHOW but literally the driving force here has been survival

clover is literally like ummmm ok well im gonna give up my soul right here right now to add it to the pile. *dies on rooftop ALONE* . the shriek i screamed when this happened was. Astronomical. like. oh yeah everybody let the 9 year old give their life for a civilization that has been trying to kill them this Entire Time. never mind the fact it makes all of the fighting and striving and grueling we did Worthless because clover decides to sacrifice themselves completely out of the player's control. this wouldn't make me AS mad if we had like. a choice like the forgive him/do not asriel thing where we could face asgore and be forced to lose OR sacrifice ourselves but even then it's just. SO silly to me.

i think i get the like. doomed parents sad child dreemurr parallels they were TRYING to go for but it is all so clunky and wonky and. just DOES not work narratively if you think about ANY aspect of it for too long

all of these factors combined made the game a complete and total Slog to get through . it is Not just me i streamed it to a few friends the whole time and the opinion was the Same

HOWEVER.

the no mercy run, completely against what it is MADE to do, was fucking awesome

the passive aggressive comments from flowey the entire time were hilarious. the power trip i got chasing axis was splendid. i didn't have to sit through pages of dialogue that made my eye twitch. i just got to Kill People.

i do Not like the fact that they seemed to think no mercy = Hard Bosses which. isn't really true for undertale ? out of the normal bosses only two are ramped up in difficulty and it thematically makes sense Why. in uty martlet gets multiple fights (including a Bullshit Insane Hard Final Fight), ceroba gets a Bullshit Insane Hard fight w a new mechanic that is introduced out of Nowhere and took me like 6 times to notice that it was even Implemented, and axis gets a tough fight. which is Fine but i do not think it really understood the message of like. the no mercy run is not supposed to be Fun. you are eviscerating this world and everything it has to offer. you're literally Killing the game. it's a tricky thing to balance but all in all No part of it made me feel bad. this could be due to me Already not really caring abt any of the characters but. sigh

also martlet gets really strong at the end bc she injects herself w dt but like. why does she know about that. she does guard stuff Near the Lab but why does she Know about the experiments. the whole point is that nobody Else Knows. where did she get that from. what the fuck

anyway. says that i won't go on for too long. proceeds to go on for too long like some kind of Liar

#ask #turning off rbs because i dont want people to get Angries at me

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technicallyblakebelladonna · 18 days

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hiiiii ask for you infodump about rwby volume 10 and what you want to happen

HI THERE FRIEND!!!! thank you for the ask <3

i want u to know that i specifically went to my spotify to put on my "amitola" playlist before going to answer this ask, so that should tell you where my head is at

of course for rwby v10 i want what the majority of other people want, for the bees to be shown in their relationship and for others to react to it in ways that really allow us as the audience to BASK in the fact that the bees are in an established relationship and are HAPPY. cause like, just thinking abt catradora and korrasami, well we get to see them get to that kiss and get their happy ever after, but in the show that's where it ENDS (i know with LoK they had the comics that let korrasami go past that point but i digress) like of course i could say all that and i WOULD say all of that

but

YOU CAME INTO *MY* ASK BOX. so you know exactly what im gonna infodump about. you know WHO im gonna infodump about

ilia. fucking. amitola.

we saw her last in all her collarbone-apparently-redacted glory in v8 along with a couple of other tertiary characters during ruby's speech montage. she had a fairly long focus shot (imo, for a side character) that showed her getting a call from ghira. so we KNOW that those three are going to be together-- and by the logic of ghira and kali being blake's fucking parents!! we can assume that they're going to all end up heeding the call and gathering where everyone else is. so that means that we can also assume that they'll all be there for the reunion in vacuo.

(no seriously where did they go???? i havent been able to unsee it)

ANYWAY.

so i want to see that reunion. i want to see blake fling herself into her parents arms and for ilia to kinda hang back bc she's like, still doesn't quite know what to do with herself-- and doesn't QUITE know how to relate to blake anymore. they left on good terms, but they haven't had much time to really rebuild their relationship by any means, so ilia's just standing there, heart tearing in half a little because there she is. she didn't die. ilia had mourned for her, had gone through that grief alongside blake's parents and now? now there. she's standing right there. and suddenly it's just so overwhelming that she starts turning a deep blue, right from her roots, her irises turning a deep icicle blue, sharp and unforgiving like the presumed loss she had to go through all that time ago.

and blake? she sees it. out of the corner of her eye, above the shoulder of her mom while in their embrace, she sees ilia shaking like a leaf. and she goes to her after another quick murmured reassurance to her parents. and she just opens her arms to ilia. and ilia flings herself into blake's arms and breathes her in because gods. she is real. she starts whispering "you're here. you're alive. i lost you all over again and now you're here."

and that's what i hope from canon, but am i going to stop there? no because hello. ilia fucking amitola.

the CATMELEON SHIPPER IN ME wants blake to reply with something cheesy, with something utterly heartbreakingly beautiful, something like "you could never lose me. i've always been in your heart, and you've always been in mine. and that's not going anywhere."

THEY HAVE A SPECIAL BOND OKAY CANON WILL NOT TAKE THAT FROM ME FOR FUCKS SAKE.

what i want CANON to do is to have ilia and yang finally fucking meet and talk. for ilia to give the "hurt her, no one will hear from you ever again" talk.

as @averagemrfox said in their tags

like OH MY GOD give me THIS. holy shit this is genius. maybe yang spots ilia looking restless and tense after an overwhelmingly emotional day after blake "comes back from the dead" and sees her sitting at the outskirts of the city/their camp or wherever. and so she just like. says hey. you know the best way i find to burn off extra energy? and ilia agrees to a hand-to-hand no weapons (and yang promises not to use her arm gun at all) and it feels GOOD to get the energy out. so they could have a good conversation that way and establish like, that ilia sees how good yang is for blake and how happy she is and ends with the whole, catch her off guard kinda blow and tells yang that if she hurts blake again, she'll obliterate her from the face of remnant.

what RAY WANTS BC OF THE EMBER RAINBOW SHIPPER is for ilia to get the upper hand and successfully pin her down and we have a delicious moment of sexual tension where ilia's got yang's hands above her head and her weight on her hips and she just catches the way yang's eyes sparkle in the dying sunlight of the golden hour and she just can't help herself, can't stop herself from saying "so that's why." and for yang to be just as pleasantly thrown off guard - "what's why?" and at this point ilia's freckles are flaring pink, her irises following suit and - "that's why blake fell in love with you"

like ON GOD GIMMIE. YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT ILIA WOULDN'T SEE YANG AND EITHER 1) IMMEDIATELY GET JEALOUS OR 2) IMMEDIATELY AND UTTERLY FALL IN LOVE WITH HER TOO (or both? both is good)

shipping aside, i need ilia to STOP BEING FORGOTTEN ABOUT GODDAMNIT. this is just a general complaint of the fandom in general from my pov. like i dont REALLY see posts cross my dash, the ones that talk about rwby in general or rwby v10 specifically, it's like. ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT ILIA FOR A SECOND??? like y'all wanna see everyone react to the bees being in a relationship and YOU FUCKING FORGET ILIA?!?!?! THE LITERAL FIRST ON SCREEN CANONICALLY CONFIRMED LESBIAN??? AND NOT ONLY THE FIRST ON SCREEN CANONICALLY CONFIRMED LESBIAN, BUT HER LESBIANISM WAS CANONIZED BY HAVING HER LITERALLY CONFESS TO BLAKE'S FUCKING FACE THAT SHE WAS IN LOVE WITH HER!!!!! I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!! IT'S RIGHT THERE!!! WHY ARE WE SLEEPING ON ILIA AMITOLA?!?!?!!?

anyway. i had to get that out of my system apparently LMAO

so where else do i want to go with this??? i mean there's so much i could say, how i want rainbow bees to actually happen bc im greedy but i love the story they told with the bees already so i don't see that happening in all seriousness (and shoehorning ilia into the bees relationship feels like a disservice to the growth the bees went through together so i GET that but i just think it would be NEAT. blake has two hands, yadda yadda and all that)

i could talk about how i want canon to reveal that ilia was actually blake's first kiss because that would be so much better than the implied fact that adam canonically was, and that just makes my skin crawl, so to have it be ilia would be DELIGHTFUL to say the least.

i could talk about how i want ilia and weiss to be an endgame couple, if nothing else for the fact that a) it would be great for weiss' growth arc, ending up with a faunus -- but not only JUST any faunus, to have one that was SO detrimentally impacted by her father's dust empire, and to heal that hurt together and have those journeys weave together in the end. and b) i just want to be greedy again and tie ilia to a main character bc it will mean we will get to see her more than just for a few minutes every so often.

i COULD also talk about how there's a great idea to have emerald and ilia end up together because, similar villian redemption arcs, opposing colour scheme, similar unrequited love type situations. it's just RIFE for a great set up and that would be great.

i COULD talk about so many things related to ilia fucking amitola and rwby v10 but i think i've definitely said quite a lot of things already, so i'll just cut it off here skghsdfkghdfg thank u for ur time and attention if u have made it this far and have enjoyed or even just slightly made sense of my ramblings

*gets off amitola soapbox*

#rwby #rwby v10 #ilia amitola #catmeleon #ember rainbow #ray replies #followbeaujes #beaujes #thank u for letting me go off skghskgh #im not sure you were expecting this though so SDKHSGKDH

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