#AH i love asks like this

[padfootdaredmetoo]

UGH I LOVE YOUR WRITING AND JUST SAW YOUR COMING SOON POST. I CANT WAIT FOR:

- Tommy & the girl he adopts from the orphanage - who knew verbally assaulting a nun would win you the perfect family

WOULD MURDER A SMALL CHILD TO READ IT ILY

<333

Dear Anon,

AHHHH! I LOVE YOU!

Thanks for sending this in!!!! Honestly you guys are the best at sending in ideas I can't wait to explore and write all the requests. ♥️

This one looks like it's going to be really funny!!!!

Goodness no child sacrifices needed! It's on the way.

#AH i love asks like this #you guys are the best #kisses #and sweet dreams

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[nerdpoe]

Danny has an Ice Core.

He isn't aware of it, but this does, in fact, greatly influence how his ghost form looks as he grows up.

His appearance starts getting more rugged, eyes a paler, more piercing green, hair a bit more uncontrollable and wild.

He packs muscle easily, even in human form.

When in ghost form, he has an aura of something patient and dangerous, and that sense only grows the older he gets.

Basically, our boy starts to look like a viking.

No matter how goofy and bumbling he really is, his first impression is always a horrifying moment for whoever is meeting him.

And as his ghost form grows with his human form, he outgrows his hazmat outfit. Frostbite and the Far Frozen fashion him some new clothes-which only compliment and play off of the viking aesthetic he's got going on.

And with the height he inherited from his father?

Our man is a very, very intimidating figure to look at. More so than Dan; because while Dan was dangerous and scary, he was all energy and lightning and rage.

Adult Danny comes across as lethal and terrifying, all ice and persistence and that final, terrible silence before you realize you've already died.

Dan felt like the warrior in front of you. Danny feels like the wilderness in winter, vast and unforgiving.

Anyways, when a summoning for Klarion goes horribly wrong and Danny gets called instead, the Justice League has a moment where they're convinced they've summoned something much, much worse than Klarion.

And Danny, standing there completely confused, is not helping by remaining silent and still while staring John Constantine in the eye.

Good news, the bad guys are also very concerned about the weird ghost viking and are actually moving to stand side by side with the Justice League on this.

Bad news, who the fuck is this guy?

"...Fuck," is all Constantine whispers, backing away slowly.

@simplestoryteller

#dcxdp #dpxdc #dc x dp #dp x dc #and yes i love this idea #that a core helps shape how a ghost looks like as they mature #Dan's was lightning and vengeance #so he grew up to embody that #Ellie's is freedom #so she starts looking more and more like a pirate #Danny's is ice #so he does this #it gets to the point where no one believes he and Ellie are related #like yeah y'all look alike sort of but also #there's no way in hell #anyways immediately after this Danny ruins his image by sheepishly asking where he is #almost exact same body language as a flustered Clark #and Bruce is just like #“ah. this is a Clark situation-looks intimidating but tries desperately not to be rude” #story prompt #basically if every time Danny went ghost #the witcher soundtrack was going off in the background #and its freaking people out #and he's just like “hey wanna see me make a skateboard out of solid ice”

[slimeshade]

If you haven’t see it yet, I think you’d like slay the princess. It has a giant bird creature, multiple bird creatures even

Heh, it really has multiple bird creatures... ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ

I saw some art of it once or twice, and thanks to this ask, I watched a playthrough. Have yet to know all the branching routes, but there's something I can say at least: what a beautiful story this game/visual novel has, I love it

Have a sketchy birdy

#slay the princess #slimes doodles #slimes ask #anonymous #tried to imitate the style with limited success #ah well #what a lovely game to know about #full of horror and gore and weird existential stuff #with critters even #just as I like it hdhfhfh #thanks a bunch for the rec!

[vaguely-concerned]

merrill dragon age really reverse engineered an eluvian from first principles in a cave with a box of scraps and one single blighted shard. and STILL she gets no respect for it from anyone but potentially hawke, at least in a confused yet well-meaning 'are ya winning son' sort of way on the friendship path. dark days for women in STEM

(really though it seems the equivalent of a person in the middle ages putting together a nokia phone from rocks and sticks (and one coaching session from a spirit, fair enough) and then just not being able to figure out how to turn it on even though it is fully functioning. magically at least merrill is inarguably a genius. the tony stark of kirkwall. well not really that comparison falls apart pretty quickly but you see what I'm saying here lmao)

#dragon age #dragon age 2 #merrill #of all people aveline actually seems to pick up on just how brilliant she is #but she only ever tells merrill so out loud so that she gets to tell her she's also an idiot with the next breath fhsadkfhsa #ah would it really be DA2 if that wasn't how that conversation went tho #anders has his head way too far up his own ass (affectionate) about anything she does to really consider what she's achieved #but one day I'd love to see some mages studying merrill's work like 'how?? how in the fUCK did she do this it shold be impossible' #hawke standing over on the side like a proud yet bumbling older brother like 'uh. it involved some sort of really special knife. #I punched a varterral about it. do not ask me any more questions'

[todayisafridaynight]

#rgg #ryu ga gotoku #ryu ga gotoku 7 #yakuza series #yakuza like a dragon #yakuza 7 #masato arakawa #ryo aoki #snap sketches #AH jumpscare #i aint drawn aoki or masato (funny as hell i have to distinguish) in forever BYYYYYEE i miss him. i want him to be even more dead #my favorite genre of masato art is aoki killnig him so its my turn to do that. kinda. in spirit #Understandably its always aoki as the aggressor but i wanted to ask myself Can I Flip It #evidently aoki wasnt happy even with all of his power and all.. it makes me wonder how much his self hatred exists in aoki #A LOT EVIDENTLY LMAOOO but im having issues trying to articulate what i mean #aoki is very much a persona Fake Through And Through so sometimes i wonder if aoki ever gets tired of having to act all the time #he's on edge all the time and constantly trying to figure out how to use people instead of just. chilling LMAO GROW UP #he refuses to let himself be genuine and vulnerable with others yet at the same time he wants the love that comes with that #sure his new persona gives him the life he wanted but its gotta be wild to think 'people only like me for what i can do for them' #its hard to accurately describe what i was thinking while drawing these i just know i like rattling masato in a can #there's just so many layers to him it makes my brain itch SOOOO bad #having the love and sincerity he said he always wanted but not being able to see it because of his own self hatred... wild... #relatable... im gonna throw up... he still sucks tho lol...... #ok bye im gonna contemplate drawing something moody cause i guess it's a moody sunday idk sue me

[crow-n-tell]

I present you this smol baby

BABY SUN AND MOOOOOONNNN

I love so much about this image shine I efbuhwebfyshef TOO MANY WORDS

Their big OL EYESSS AHHH

I actually briefly worked on doing a small young sun and moon thing but I stopped when I had the idea for the biggin comic. Specially cause I realized most of the comic would be (please excuse the messy sketches)

Sun and moon just fighting to survive

#ask #BABY SUN AND MON BABY SUN AND MOON BABY SUN AND M #THEY ARE SERIOUSLY SO CUTE SHINE #I love the way you made it look like water color -w- #i am eat it all #i frame and put on my wall #i ‘ #AH

[lotus-pear]

thoughts on Adam? I love his dynamic with chuuya in stormbringer :3

BRO LITERALLY SAVED CHUUYAS LIFE (TWICE) HE DESERVES THE WORLDS BEST DAD MUG I LOVE HIM SOSOSOSOSO SO MUCH OH MY GODDDDD,,,,,LIVE LAUGH LOVE ADAM FR I READ SB JUST FOR HIM

#robot dilf or smt idk i love him sm #everytime i remember him slinging chuuya across his shoulder like a prized trout or sack of potatoes i giggle #AH ALSO he has like a photo album of his fav chuuya expressions hes so father oh my goddddddd literally dad taking photos of his little boy #i want them to have the tightest hug when they see each other again #lotus’s asks

[hailsatanacab]

@the-ghost-trader - ooooh, i love this! it has the potential to be so incredibly sad, too, like poor Damian just trying to carve out something normal for himself only for it blow up in his face

BUT, shockingly, i'm not about the angst today! not yet anyway 😇

---

“So, how was your day?”

Despite his answering groan, Damian likes this. This. This whole… thing he has with Danielle. With Ellie. 

And, yeah, he’s not exactly told any of the others yet, but can you blame him? For wanting to keep something, anything, to himself. Wanting to keep this small little slice of goodness he’s managed to carve out, untouched and unmarred by his family, by their other lives, by the rogues, the vigilantes, the assassins, everyone.

“That bad, huh?”

Being with Ellie is freeing. That’s the best way to describe it.

She knows. Damian surprised even himself when he told her—not about the others, mind, but he supposes it’s not hard to put two and two together and Dani has always been smarter than most—but it’s the best decision he’s ever made, and no matter what the niggling little voice in the back of his head says (the one that sounds suspiciously like Father), he can’t bring himself to regret it.

He won’t. Because having Ellie know gives him freedom.

She’s a safe place, a hand to hold, a warm, welcoming presence when things inevitably turn ugly. It’s the freedom to just be normal when everything else in his life spirals into stranger and more stressful missions.

“Richard is being insufferable again. I do not understand his incessant need to know everything about my life.”

“Oh? What’s he done now?” 

“I was subjected to an hour long interrogation about my love life, like it’s any of his business. It’s infuriating!”

“Ugh, tell me about it. I get the same thing from Jazz, constantly. It can be suffocating.” Ellie says as she curls herself tighter into his side. “But it’s just how they show they care.”

“Yes, well, sometimes I wish he wouldn’t—”

“Hey!” Ellie pushes herself up to glare at him, punctuating her shout with a soft whack to his arm for good measure. “What have I said about using that word?”

“Yes, yes,” he placates with a roll of his eyes, “‘Be careful what you wish for.’ I apologise, it won't happen again.”

“Damn straight it won't.”

She maintains eye contact with him for a second longer before tucking herself back into his side, squirming around with a long, contented hum that Damian can feel rumble through him. He smiles and doesn’t complain even when he has to shift to give her more room after a particularly strong elbow jabs him in the ribs. It means leaving the warm patch on the couch, but he’s rewarded with another long, happy moan as she settles and Damian can’t bring himself to mind.

Ellie constantly makes noises. Little mews and hums and laughs and songs known only to her. It reminds him of a cat, sometimes. He likes it. It calms him down; it means she’s happy, so he's happy.

They settle back into the cushions and Damian lets the subject drop, not wanting to spoil the moment. Outside, the wind changes direction and from where he’s laying he can watch as the snow starts to come down thick and heavy. Hopefully it’ll mean a quiet night's patrol.

“Is that why you haven’t introduced me yet?”

“What?” He can't help it, he stiffens at the thought of losing his secret, of the scrutiny he'll be inviting if he lets anyone know.

“Are you worried I’ll embarrass you?”

Damian’s eyes snap down quick to reassure her, only to see her light, teasing grin. He lets out a breath of relief. It figures she wouldn't worry about that.

“Of course not, don’t be absurd. You could never embarrass me.”

“I don’t know,” she muses, her voice taking on a dangerous lilt, “that sounds like a challenge.”

“Believe me, having been subjected to Father’s Brucie persona at every gala I’ve been to, it would take a lot to embarrass me.”

“Alright, bet. I’ll get you, just you wait.”

“You’ve already got me.”

She flicks him on the nose. “You’re such a sap.”

He hums his agreement, enjoying the tinkling sound of her laughter. And then, before he can think otherwise, he asks, “Is that why you haven’t introduced me?”

“That’s different,” she scowls. “You know how hard it is to get there, there’s no signal, and Danny only gets a break like—oh, Ancients!”

Damian gets another elbow to the ribs as she bolts upright, a manic grin on her face that has him laughing.

“What is it?”

“It’s the holidays! It’s nearly Truce Day! You know I said I had a family thing around Christmas?”

“Yes?” 

“Well, do you want to come to it? I can introduce you then! I mean, it’s going to be a bit formal and you’ll have to meet everyone, not just family. There’s going to be some banquets, you’ll have to sit through some long speeches and you have to be on your best behaviour at all times, okay? Absolutely no fighting, it’s called Truce Day for a reason!”

“What?”

“Yeah, it’ll be perfect! I think Jazz is going in a couple days earlier to help with the preparations, so I’ll get her to let Danny know—and fair warning, he will try to give you the shovel talk, but this is great! It’s Truce Day, so he can’t actually do anything about it!”

“I’m sorry, but you're going to have to explain a bit.”

“Yeah, I know, it’s a bit much—but that’s family, right? Danny can get pretty protective over me, which is why going on Truce Day is the best time to do it! He can’t even command the Fright Knight to stab you! It’s genius!”

“Ellie, what?”

“Like, yeah, sure, he’s the king, but even he has to obey the rules of Truce Day—and then once you’ve spent all day with him, he’ll see that you’re a fantastic, wonderful, kind, brilliant, smart, strong, capable person and he’ll get over himself and everything will be good!"

Damian collapses down onto the couch, the wind knocked out of him. This is… He had not expected anything like this at all. For all that Ellie talked about her family, she had never mentioned this.

“Did you… did you say your brother is a king?”

“Yeah! High King Phantom, have I…” The manic grin slips off her face as she turns round and notices Damian. “Have I not mentioned that before?”

“No. No, you have not.”

“Ah. Sorry. Probably should clarify that I’m also a princess.”

“Right. Yes, that follows.”

“And I’m not really his sister, I’m his clone.”

“What?”

Damian blinks and tries to say more, but he has no idea what he’s meant to do with… any of this information. 

Normal. He thought she was meant to be his normal. Nothing could have prepared him for this.

Not that it changed anything, of course, of that he was certain. It’s just… a lot to take in. Overwhelming. But it's okay! He takes a deep breath, and another, and a sense of calm washes over him. Ellie makes one of her little hums as she cocks her head to the side to consider him and he can't help but relax at the normalcy of the sound. It'll be okay, he's dealt with stranger and he can deal with this.

“I’ve, uh… I’ve told you that we’re half ghosts, though, right?”

“What?”

#dpxdc #danny phantom batman #danny phantom crossover #damian wayne/dani phantom #do they have a ship name? probably but idk it sorry #this was fun!! damian is strong and smart and capable and he won't let this stop him! #sure it's a shock but what does that matter when he has the love of his life by his side!! #he can get through this! at least his girlfriend's brother/original/...father? can't get his knight to stab him #that's a point in truce day's favour - even if damian is regretting asking to be introduced #in ellie's defence she thought he knew! he's slightly liminal himself she just assumed he could pick it up! ... he could not. #when they actually get there damian loves it - he fits right in with all the ghosts #there's a little adjustment period where he is VERY prickly with everyone but he gets the hang of it very quickly #all the ghosts are very impressed with his willingness to throw down and he has to be reminded by a very stern ellie that it's TRUCE DAY #stop fighting!! #ah i really enjoyed this thank you for the prompt! i hope you enjoy it too!! #as always it came out a lot longer than i intended - i don't know why i even bothered with the whole 'five sentences' #it was obvious i wasn't going to stick to it smh #anyway i hope you liked it!! #(also but sorry i prefer to call her ellie sorry i know i'm in the minority here haha) #my writing #(shit how is it four in the morning eep) #cab writes

[nibbelraz]

i imagine og!sqh's reasons for not smashing in mobeis head with a brick was smth he thought was sooo smart. yes he could kill the demon here, BUT he was hurt by other cultivators and the thing currently killing him would make him look like a weakass kill stealer, even if he took it out. HOWEVER if he manipulates this man (nobility? they still have concepts of honour in the demon realm) via a life debt then he can get better connetions and rare objects in order to further his own career! obv theres gonna be a little simpering to appease the guy but hey! thems the breaks! then after the sect gets salt earthed mobei is like hey. you didnt die there. that means my debt is repaid btw. you know what that means you slimy little rodent. your mf life ends a week from now in honour of the week you spent healing me. get your affairs in order quickly. bonus scene stealing lines from the princess bride; "I gave you everything! Your power, your crown, your position, your respect! Your riches! Your knowledge! And I'll give you anything else, so long as you let me live!" "Anything?" "Yes, anything! Anything you want!" "I wanted your loyalty you son of a bitch."

HEICJEJCJDJJVF YES YESYETS I LOVE thinking about how OG! Shang Qinghua might've navigated the world and I'm crying at the fact Mobei just like

"You didn't die. That's it. I'm coming to fucking get you."

Especially knowing that OG! Shang Qinghua was just using him even if he built him up from the ground

#svsss #mobei jun #shang qinghua #og shang qinghua #this also sORT OF reminds me of this fix #its not this premise exactly but more of like #how Mobei went to the world of svsss and saw Shang Qinghua was married to that versions mobei #and it was painful cause he loved og shang qinghua from his own world but he was a traitor #he wonders if that universes shang qinghua was a traitor and realizes they seemed very different #it was sad but it had a hopeful ending #it just made me think ah the og mobei really did just want loyalty and love #also i meant to write Fic not Fix but i dont want to retype it #nib text #ask

[featherymainffins]

Me when the narrator is an external entity with its own motivations and agendas and the script it makes you follow is not the one you are confined to but be well aware that all folly has its limits and all relationships might sour

#the stanley parable #slay the princess #theres one more i can think of but i feel like itd look really comical next to these widely acknowledge bangers #like ah yes widely acclaimed game; widely praised beautifully drawn visual novel; and...a parody made by a guy on a whim #nonetheless funnily enough thats actually the one that i always think of in this context #like if you ask me for games where you have beef with the narrator youll get that and only after like 2 minutes will i remember tsp #oh if anyone knows more games like this or any other media like this feel free to drop names because i DIG this every time #nobody does it like this uuuh micro-trope #idk why i love it so much but i do. absolute banger. a hit every time. #what i also count as this is when there isnt a narrator per se but it turns out that the story is run by an actual script #like that there is a script the story is supposed to abide by but its literally just that. a script. its an external thing with no power. #because that implies the existence of some kind of author and a narrative and thats also a banger

[sciderman]

Demanding more lisp

posts in which it is imperative that wade be read with a fruity obnoxious little gay lisp:

#ask-spiderpool #she's a LETHSBIAN harold. #hoh-moh-SECKS-ssuals... #i love wade intentionally having the most ridiculous pronunciation in the world for certain words. #penetration... penatracione... pen-ah-TRRAh-see-oh-neh #it's very important you roll the Rs... #your erectioné in this directioné... #i hate this man and his mouth. #i have such a vivid and stupid voice for wade wilson that lives in my head and i hear him so clearly #and im just like so. so upset that i can't manifest this voice and have all of you hear it #he has the MOST stupid way of talking ever and i so want to animate to it. #it's something like robin william's genie from aladdin. an animator's delight. he's so. so theatric. all the time. #and he's constantly changing and shifting accents and impressions and mannerisms. #just whatever he can to make the delivery as funny as possible. #he has this universally ambigious accent all the time. and he's so. so good at accents. #he's just totally brilliant at mimicry. you should hear his peter parker impression. it's perfect. he nails it. peter is so mad about it. #he absolutely can answer the phone as peter and nobody is the wiser. #if he dons peter's tights nobody would discern from voice alone. they'd only be able to tell by the different body types.

[lilybug-02]

Ahem-

i saw your "fursona pratice post" and i just had to draw this silly guy, I did it on my style, But hope you like! ^^

I did his ears look like "Moth Fuffly Ears" cuz for some reason he look like one to me?? ( lol ) but also look like just Big and very fuffly fox ears.

And ofc - HE HAVE RAD SPIKY HAIRRR!! With a cool feather mane 👌, Lion Tail and Bull feets, with big wings <3!! ( Silly snoot Asriel reference 👀 )

I put blue eyes to him cuz- uh well, he looks cool, yeah thats the reason. 😶

And ofc i can't forget his Red cool Shirt! 🔥

( and his silly butterfly tongue lol )

I think thats all?? It was really cool to draw him btw, i think i did A redesing by accident XD

Ah... yeah, i did that too-

Ok gonna sleep now, have a great day/night my Bread Friend!🚶

AHHHHH!!!! THis is AMaZing!!! eeee omg I love this so so much! This is such cool fan art! The spiky hair and big fluffy ears are perfection ✨🔥🌸🕊️ The amount of detail you put into this shows! >^< Thank you so much for the awesome art! 💜❤️💖💟

#ask stuff #bread #that one oc that may be a fursona??? Who knows! #:D ah thank you so much again! This is awesome #and I love the little insect tongue. So moth like! #sorry for responding late! was busy -w- #art #fanart!!!

[harvestmoth]

okay last one. au where nothing goes wrong at all ever (a lie) and melia venam gay moment

#i like this game a normal amount (also a lie) #everyone should play now do it now please #pokemon rejuvenation #oh another thing about twitter. makes me sad i cant yell about things in the tags there like i always do because there are no tags there #if i wanted to id have to make it into a thread and im pretty sure people read those. so awful #i mean not that i say anything worthwhile here usually but still. no one reads this here. i could yell my thoughts if i had any #anyways about the au :] i have no idea how it would work #i have no thoughts ever at all i was just replaying the game and the one little line melia says at the picnic made me sad #the one where she says its her last day in gearen and asks the player to go with her to gdc #and then she just goes ah nevermind that was weird of me to ask #and no… wait come back… id love to go to gdc with you… :[ #and thats where that idea came from. idk where the rest of it came from though i think ive been cursed or somethinv #and also something something her saying shes afraid to go to gdc alone only for her to end up in the past also alone sometging something. ow #my thoughts are very coherent i promise (no they arent)

[bogkeep]

it was always a strange dichotomy. every middle school classmate i had told me i'd be a millionaire when i grew up, a Famouse Artisté. it's easy enough to imagine as a teen, i suppose: skill equals fame equals money. i was doubtful about this prophecy, not because i wasn't confident in my ability to draw, but because it was hard to imagine a world where i'd be paid for it.

it was an ice breaker game at summer camp. horrible one, really - everyone in a group were given a character profile. now we had to imagine that it was the zombie apocalypse, and the helicopter to safety was two seats short and we had argue why we deserved a spot. the character i got was an asshole doctor of some kind. i don't remember if i argued my way into the helicopter or not, but i do remember the feeling that's been hanging over me my entire life - if the apocalypse happens right now, i have nothing to contribute.

there's something really painful about it. i have cultivated a skill for my whole life, i can make art and tell stories that are entirely unique to me, there is no way to get someone else to create in the exact same way i can, and yet - i've contributed more to capitalist society by sitting in an empty hotel reception for eight hours a day.

which made me develop anxiety, to boot.

i illustrated two children's books. they're some of my best work. the contract i signed was industry standard and the indie author who had hired me was incredibly kind... but even after stock sold out i had earnt little more than some pocket change.

in high school we had an outing to dig our own snow caves that we would spend the night in. in teams, thankfully. i have so little physical strength to speak of, most i could do to help was clear away the snow rubble and toss it outside. i know, i know, my classmates reassured me it was an important job to do, i was an invaluable member of the group, sure - but it's that feeling, you know?

what would my task be in the communist solarpunk commune?

a person cannot be useless. it's a human being. they just exist, no ifs and buts about it. one can only be useless in the eyes of an ableist, capitalist society that sees no value in being alive beyond production and profit.

sometimes i receive messages from internet strangers to tell me something i said - often several years ago - was helpful to them. maybe it was a throwaway comment on a forum. maybe it was replying to a question they could've googled the answer to. maybe it was an encouraging reply to someone's artwork. turns out it mattered to someone. huh.

of course you can learn new skills. i have learnt plenty over the years! i have also learnt that there are limitations to what i can do. that some of the obstacles i face are not in fact obstacles everyone faces. it's not that i can't break tasks into smaller steps, it's more that half of those steps are going to be "rinse your hands because you Touched a Thing and now you're going to have to touch Another Thing." i wonder if that's adding to my cognitive load or something.

i was never raised to be a man, so by all accounts i do not understand why i'm so haunted by the spectre of toxic masculinity - what would i do if i was a medieval peasant and a war broke out? what if i was in a pre-historic hunter gatherer society and i was expected to hunt? what if i was a humble farm boy discovering the sword of the chosen one and the world depended on my non-existing courage to face certain death?

look, it's stupid. these are not scenarios i will find myself in. besides, pre-historic humans depended on community and taking care of each other. that's how we survive.

i'm not useless and i decided to make peace with being useless anyway.

we're surrounded by digital clocks. we can't really escape them. do we need watchmakers? would they save me a spot in the zombie apocalypse helicopter? no, don't answer that. i'm just happy i found something that requires a light touch and an observant eye.

#too long for twitter #I AM NOT ASKING FOR ADVICE I AM JUST MUSING AND WRITING A BLOG POST FOR THE JOY OF WRITING BLOG POSTS #not mentioned: the bachelors degree in art history i took to procrastinate with my life. #i would love to work as an illustrator still. if the opportunity to do so comfortably comes along i will take it #but im also happy to pursue my passion in my free time as something that belongs to me #number one question im asked whenever i tell someone i go to watchmaker school is 'BUT DO YOU STILL DRAW??' #it's like asking if i still breathe. yes! i still do the thing that makes me feel alive #it's just. we live in a world that's hostile to Live Comfortably and Pursue Creative Passions at the same time #and a society that can be so largely dismissive of art sometimes; all the while consuming it en masse #ah you probably get it. you dont need me to tell you

[princesandromeda]

I've seen complaints about how Marry My Husband is being adapted into a live action drama, but personally I like the changes, they keep me on my toes.

I mean, the fact that they changed the year it takes place in is reasonable, but what actually threw me off was that they had the same ages they would've had in that year. Buuuut the aging up gives way for other sideplots, like the pregnancy scare plot which would've been relevant at their age as it was more of an expectation in their thirties than in their twenties.

I loved how Kang Jiwon looked with the perm and long hair, but thematically, a hair cut makes so much more sense as a "closing cycles" type of thing.

And having Kang Jiwon straight out tell Sumin "hey, I no longer like you" also makes sense to me. Sure, she had her 20-step-revenge-plan, but even with her visit to prison in the end, I feel like she didn't get the closure (pleasure?) of standing up for herself at the moment stuff was happening.

Also the moment Jiwon sets up for Sumin and Minhwan to sleep together is soo good. In every version. But I think that so far, live action is my favorite. Park Ming-young did a good job with the "I made this bed of nails, I have no choice but to lie on it now" vibe.

#marry my husband #ranting #this is all over the place sorry lol #also the bts thing just had me cackling like out of all things bts revealed that they were both from the past #tbh if i had been asked in 2013 what came my mind with dynamite i would've said taio cruz' song bc i was obssesed with the just dance coreo #eunho's response just had me like ok fair #kang jiwon #ALSO LOVED THAT THEY DID THE NOVEL REVEAL INSTEAD OF THE WEBTOON FOR JIHYUK AND HUIYEONS RELATIONSHIP #not that there was anything baaaad with the webtoon. i just loved how dramatic huiyeon's phone call was #also i haven't finished reading the novel. i'm saving up to buy coins lol #getting into korean webnovels is expeeeeensive #next time i'll stick with animanga ah