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the-wales-5 · 1 year

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"In another life..."

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29th April 1931.

The newlyweds Catherine Murray and William Howard just left the little church in the village where they tied the knot surrounded by their close family and friends. The bride was a part of an aristocratic Murray family but she still wanted to keep a low profile so instead of having a rather huge ceremony in London with King George V attending, she decided to have a small wedding in her favourite part of Wales and to wear a crown made of her favourite flowers instead of an expensive tiara from her family's vault.

William was looking at her with love as if she was the only woman to ever exist on the earth and that was something she considered her biggest achievement and joy in life.

"I cannot believe we did this at last" Giggled her as she looked at her now-husband. They'd been together for almost 10 years at that point, having met each other when they both were 18.

"It is real, Lady Murray-Howard" William whispered and kissed her on the lips, causing their guests to cheer.

"Promise me that we'll never be separated" she whispered as she took his hand in hers.

William smiled without replying to her and just squeezed her hand more as they walked to the car driving them to their house in North Wales where a small wedding reception was about to start.

1939.

Their life was almost idyllic, with two children and a dog living in Wales, until September 1939 when Germany declared the Second World War against Poland and therefore other countries as well.

"You know what they say.. about the war.. and you are the pilot, they may need assistance from planes.." said Catherine as they were coming back from a horse ride with their 7-year old daughter Mary.

"Yes indeed" William nodded and then he noticed his wife's fearful facial expression. He told Mary to go inside the house and then approached his wife "I will join the forces if that will be necessary. No need to elaborate on that, Catherine"

"Are you serious?" She scoffed, "We've got two children!"

"And our country may soon experience war. We both have seen what it means to live in a country at war, haven't we? My father died during the First World War in 1919 and if I have to, I will defend my country just like he did"

"So you want to die as well?" Catherine murmured and chuckled with sorrow "Just to defend your country and keep his memory?"

"Do not be ridiculous" he sighed as he approached her "I am aware that we have children. I will not be risking my life on the front line if that won't be necessary to protect our nation".

He kissed her on the forehead and held her hand, helping her to get off of her horse. Catherine hugged him and then they shared a kiss. Mary and her brother Patrick giggled as they ran towards their parents.

Back in London, the royal family lived their lives, attending official engagements while ordinary people on the streets, the same as Lady Howard and her husband were talking about the possibility of war coming to the United Kingdom.

1944.

Three words. 3 words she dreaded to hear for the last few years. "I am leaving". She didn't even have to ask "Where?". She knew.

The war. The front line. He was needed for the operation near Normandy where the Alliance forces were fighting with the Nazis. An easy way to die and leave her and their children for good. Seeing him saying "goodbye" to Patrick and Mary made her curse his abilities to fly in planes even if she always used to admire that in him.

William was about to travel to France by train. Although he told her to stay at home, Lady Howard traveled to the station with him. The media knew about this but they were unusually respective and didn't bother the couple at all.

"You never promised me that we'll never separate. Not during the wedding, nor later. You knew that it was coming" She whispered with pain in her voice as they were looking at each other right before he left.

"I don't know how to explain it, darling"

"No need for an explanation. Just take it" she handed him a dried-up white "Sweet William", her favourite flower, a part of her wedding's flower crown worn in April 1931.

One picture of her wiping tears upon leaving the train station was published by the press but Catherine's father The Earl of Pembroke forced them to erase it. Otherwise, both the photographer and the author of the article titled "LADY MURRAY'S FAREWELL TO HERO WILLIAM HOWARD AS HE GOES ON WAR" would have faced a law prosecution in London's court for invading her privacy.

As she was sitting in the car that drove her back to her small cottage, Lady Catherine Murray was looking at his picture but her thoughts were not about him but about someone else. A baby. She and William's third baby that she was carrying. Nobody knew besides her and her doctor. Her pregnancy got confirmed the same day when her husband decided to leave for France to "defend the country". Therefore, she had no time to tell him about their new "bundle of joy". By all these days leading to his departure, she has been wondering if telling that would perhaps keep William at home. Her heart was telling her to do exactly that but her mind was consumed by thoughts like: "That would make me a selfish person" .

Her sense won against her heart and now she was regretting it. A few hours later when she was in the bedroom, she touched her bump for the first time ever and whispered "He will return to us. We have to believe it".

Then, she pulled a picture of her husband out of her purse and began to pray. She used to do that often years ago when her then-boyfriend was attending a military academy to get his pilot licence and also when he was a rescue pilot back in the very beginning of the Second World War between 1939-1942. It finally began to sink into her brain. It was not just assistance in helping injured soldiers anymore. Now he was a soldier too. This thought was enough to make her cry after only one minute of her prayers.

Weeks passed and William Howard was getting used to his new routine of being a pilot during the war. Despite only two months of warfare, a majority of people serving in the same battalion whom he met on his first day in France were killed off. He knew he could not give up. Every single time when he doubted if all of this was worth its price, he was immediately 'brought back' to London's train station full of other soldiers saying their goodbyes to their families.

Every night, he was thinking of his children, and of his wife's teary eyes and had been falling asleep while inhaling the 'scent' of that dried-up white flower which she gave him.

"Catherine, I will come back to you. I promise". Those words seemed like a prayer for him. He often told himself when there was danger close to his battalion or in the air.

Lady Murray-Howard had to keep herself busy so as to not worry too much about the ongoing war. She has been attending many charity events founded to help the families of men who were fighting on the front line. She was attending almost all of them despite her tiredness. She wanted to show her unity with other waiting women even if that meant crying while hugging her husband's pillow after coming back home.

"Are you sure you want to go?" Her father asked. He was about to join an event like that with her for the first time.

"Obviously yes" Catherine weakly smiled as she was finishing putting on her make-up in front of the mirror "It is an amazing initiative, you will see it for yourself, papa"

"I have no doubts about that. It's just--.. Catherine, let me tell you the truth. Do you still believe he will return? It's been weeks and he can already be deceased! Nobody knows what is happening there!"

Lady Murray rolled her eyes but spoke up: "Let me tell you a story of a woman I met during a meeting in Leicester last week. Her husband Richard has been a soldier for four years now. Four years, not weeks. Last year there was news about Germans bombarding the battalion he was in. That woman I met went through a nightmare trying to get even a small piece of information, first about the whole incident, and then about her husband's condition. He suffered from brain injury but survived and even remembered his wife during their meeting in the hospital! It is truly a miracle and I know it is just one of many! You cannot think only of the worst-case scenarios possible".

"But this is the cruel reality of war, Kate. You must accept the fact that happy endings happen to just 1% of soldiers and their families" Michael, The Earl of Pembroke said.

Catherine closed her eyes and after taking a deep breath she said with confidence in her voice: "I'd rather believe in happy endings than sink into depression after imagining the death of my husband and other men!" .

Michael sighed. He was now facing the window as if he was afraid to tell his daughter the following words while looking at her face: "The moment you revealed you are engaged to a person from the middle class I had a feeling that it will only bring us problems. If William was a nobleman, he'd never go to war! He would stay at home and defend the country in a civilised manner, by donations to charities".

Catherine was speechless for a second. At last, she replied: "Oh, thank you for confirming how much you despise my husband. You needed almost 15 years and a war to admit it. Wow" she chuckled with sorrow and her eyes narrowed as she added: "You know what, papa? If William's manners are not good enough then let me tell you that yours aren't good either right now. These poor women do not need your appearance during this meeting this afternoon, nor do they need your 'donations'. I'll go there on my own! Stay with Mary and Patrick, if you have enough time for it" she scoffed and left the house with furiousness.

Five weeks passed since Lady Murray's last conversation with her father. She was attending yet another charity meeting in Cardiff when all of a sudden a man from her father's office came in. She had no slightest idea what it could mean but she listened to each word he said, getting paler within seconds.

"No.. It's impossible" she mumbled at last and fainted.

48 hours earlier.

He looked for 'one last time' at the white dried-up flower.

"I am so sorry, Kate," soldier William Howard murmured and closed his eyes.

Michael arrived at the hospital where his daughter had been taken after losing consciousness during her meeting. He already knew what happened to his son-in-law and considered it a blessing to Catherine. In his mind, The Earl of Pembroke already imagined his daughter's second wedding taking place. A wedding with a Welsh, noble, wealthy man whom she "deserved".

"Lady Murray-Howard is such an unlucky person" one nurse said to another standing in the hospital corridor.

"What are you two talking about?" He asked but without hearing their answer he entered Catherine's cabin. She kept her hands on her stomach while looking through the window.

"I've lost them both" she whispered through tears when she noticed Michael's gaze.

He had no idea about her pregnancy, therefore the fact he just realised struck him like lightning.

~~~

'Why is this bloody war so cruel to me? Why is the whole universe against me? Losing him would have been easier if I had our third baby close to myself, that thought would console me a little. C. Howard, 1944."

~~~

That was her first note weeks after getting to know about her husband's death and her miscarriage. Now, after a year since writing it out, she was looking through old notes, finding that particular one from 1944. As she was closing her notebook, her father watched her.

"Your life has been surrendered by anxiety since he left for France. It was quite predictable that you would lose your child sooner or later" he said

"Your grandchild," Catherine remarked and looked at her father with narrowed eyes "How can you be so heartless? I lost my husband and a baby and you say that it was 'predictable'? I am lost for words, papa".

"Think of the positivity that comes from this situation. Soon, you will finally find a man who will not be risking his life at war"

"You mean you will find him for me, right?' She scoffed. "It has been more than a year and so far there is no luck. I am so sorry for being such a disappointment for you but.." she stopped to take a breath and continued: "But I will always love William. Only him. You can even try to organise my meetings with as many potential future husbands of mine as you want. Just know that I will reject every single one of them." she emphasised each word "No matter how much money they will keep in their houses or how handsome they will be. It does not matter to me at all. Your attempts will all be pointless, as they have been until now".

"I am constantly giving you a choice, Catherine. If I was to threaten you, I'd force you to get married a month or perhaps even a day after we got to know about William's death. In my mind, there was a possibility of a wedding ceremony with the first nobleman I could think of. Be kind enough and notice how I was, and how I still am letting you get used to life without Mr Howard and get to know someone of your choice. Moreover, you are not held hostage here either so do not exaggerate this situation" he said louder.

"I'd rather be held hostage than have to think about 'someone new' in my life, papa" she murmured and closed her eyes "Leave my room, please".

"Lady Catherine Murray, soon you will see for yourself that living in the land of the dead takes you nowhere. The hurtful truth is that you are wasting the greatest years of your life now'.

"No. I am not Catherine Murray, papa. For almost 15 years my surname is Howard. It will always be Howard, not Murray nor any other name of an unknown, noble man" she hissed, yet she had confidence and determination in her voice "Papa, let yourself accept that in 1931, on the day when Lady Catherine Murray got married, she died and instead she became Mrs Catherine Howard.

Accept that it is my surname now and please let it be written on my gravestone in the future when I will, at last, join my husband".

She finished and looked at her father with 'sharp eyes' so he left to go to the garden where his grandchildren were waiting.

Catherine watched Patrick and Mary through the window for a few seconds. Then, she closed her eyes and burst into tears. After she calmed down a little, she looked at her reflection in the mirror, noticing a silver locket which had been hanging from her neck since the day William asked her to become his happily ever after.

There was no ring or other expensive jewellery for the proposal, just that locket which he found in his teenage years in an old box with his family belongings in the attic and which he then named "A piece of jewellery for my future wife".

A silver locket with a small blue stone and two pictures of them were both put there by William himself days before asking her to be his wife. Simple, yet meaningful.

She promised to wear it always. Now, though, she took it off and opened it for the first time. "I cannot keep it with me forever. I guess my father is right. I must leave the land of the dead. I spent too much of my time there. But no worries, my William" she weakly smiled, closing her eyes "I will not marry anyone else. Remember that I will always love you. Your Catherine Howard" she whispered and put the locket into a wooden drawer in their bedroom. As she was closing it with a key, she was not even trying to hold back her new tears.

France.

"Where am I?' A soldier asked one of the nurses working in a hospital minutes after waking up from a type of coma that lasted more than a year.

"You are in the hospital, Sir. Your battalion was attacked in 1944. A year ago. It is truly a miracle you are alive"

'So there's still an ongoing war."

"No. It ended two months ago, Sir. Today's date is July 20th, 1945"

"My son's birthday is in two days," William said and weakly smiled.

His doctor did a checkup but it seemed like he remembered every detail of his life The names of his children, his family members' birthdays, the date of his wedding and he remembered her. Catherine. His wife and someone who kept him in her memory all this time. He assumed that she married someone else meanwhile so he did not try to write a letter. "I do not want to ruin her life".

On the day of her son's birthday, Catherine couldn't help but think of her husband again. She still thought that he was deceased on that day in France back in 1944.

"Do you think he is looking over us?" Mary asked her mum as she stepped closer to Catherine and put her hand around her

"Yes, certainly," her mother replied and smiled as she looked up to the sky. She felt quite worried about her father now because he was late for Patrick's birthday party.

The Earl of Pembroke was attending an 'urgent meeting' in England, regarding the situation of his son-in-law. He knew everything all along and despite that, lied to Catherine and her kids. "The most convenient solution for this would be to keep it all a secret, and in case he would try to return to Wales and Lady Murray's life, then you must take steps to kill him" he commanded without a blink of an eye.

25th August 1945.

William was able to leave for home after the long hospital treatment. Home. He wondered where to go. His old house was destroyed in the war back in 1942 and the home where he lived with his wife and children was no longer his. The decision he made not to come back to Catherine's life was upheld. All of a sudden, he noticed a familiar silhouette of a man.

Catherine Howard tried to find the strength to keep going through her life, bring up her children and had hoped to find peace. She kept her promise of not marrying anyone else and cared for her two children and charities. Nothing of that had given her the liberty she desperately needed but she knew she could not leave. "He left and that caused us enough heartbreak. I cannot leave as well" she thought to herself over the years when been getting suicidal thoughts.

On his deathbed, her father who died due to cancer in 1950, had given her a letter without explaining it. Catherine opened it three days after his funeral.

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"My beloved daughter,

I apologise for not having enough courage to tell you about it before. Your husband survived. He survived the attack on his battalion six years ago. I am sincerely sorry for keeping it a secret. All along since 1921 when I met William, I thought you made the biggest mistake of your life. It turns out you were right and I was and will stay the worst possible father and grandfather ever.

William was the victim of war but also a victim of my eagerness to make your life better. I met him once after the war ended. It was the day him being discharged from the hospital. I had wanted to make sure he would not try to return to your life. Consequently, I told him that you met someone and got married for the second time. I mentioned a pregnancy that you miscarried and I blamed him for it. I was astonished when his reply to that was: "I assumed her second marriage a long time ago. Tell her I am sorry for making her life a misery and that she and our three children were my everything above all".

He was run over by a car driving at a high speed right as he walked away from the spot where we met. I am certain it was not an accident. I killed him. I wanted it for years and yet when it was announced to me by a doctor in France I was in a state of shock, almost sadness even. His gravestone is located close to the church where you two got married. Nobody knew it was his funeral, only me. You can find it. -8 / 1945- is all that's written on it..

Patrick, Mary and you are victims of my selfishness and greed. I understand completely if you won't be able to forgive me, Kate. But remember I loved you and cared for you and your children. I've made huge donations to all those charities you supported over the years. Last year, I also made several secret visits to a few of those, just like you always wanted me to. It is not enough and I am aware of that. I have not left money or any other sort of inheritance. You and your son are owners of our family estate, so you can keep it or sell it to get money from it as I once told you. But there is something that you would probably like to keep with yourself. Look inside this envelope. "Something that saved me during the war now is supposed to keep her safe" were his last words to me.

I, most likely, will not get your forgiveness so I can only hope for God's forgiveness.

Your father - Michael".

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Mrs Howard was shocked to bits after reading the letter. It dropped from her hand onto the floor while tears appeared in her eyes. "It is insane.." she murmured and broke down crying. While doing so, she looked inside the envelope as her father told her to. Almost yellow now, dried up flower "Sweet William". A 'talisman' she had given her husband back in May 1944, something that "saved him during the war" did not manage to do that for the second time because he returned it to her father, almost as if he did not want to live anymore.

Catherine Howard quickly wiped her tears when her son came to her room.

"Mum, is everything alright?" He asked as he approached her. She sniffed and with all her possible strength she hugged her son.

In the evening, that 'talisman' in an envelope was put right next to Catherine's locket with two pictures of her and William Howard. Her father's Welsh property was sold three months later and she and her children moved out of there as soon as it was possible. The Earl of Pembroke's daughter did not want to stay there as she considered it cursed because of him. She had taken all the significant things with her to another, much smaller house in Wales. She also ordered William's full name to be written on his gravestone.

Mrs Howard witnessed the wedding celebrations of both her & William's children, had become a grandmother three times and lived in her second home until her death at the age of 79. A white flower "Sweet William" was put inside her hand and a silver locket with two photographs was again put on her neck on the day of the funeral. The location of her grave was right next to one of her dear husband William. "Catherine Howard" was the name written on it, just like she wished years before.

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2010.

Prince William and his fiancée Catherine Middleton entered their first real house in Anglesey, Wales.

As she stepped into one of the rooms, she felt something weird, as if the spirit of someone 'checked' what she was doing there. For some reason, it did not scare her but instead made her open an old drawer with a key.

"What is this?" She whispered as she took something into her hands and slowly opened.

It was an envelope with one petal of "Sweet William" and a piece of paper with words:

"Life is too short to love you in one, I promise to look for you in the next life".

She knew this quote was by William Shakespeare. It made her feel confused and amazed all at once. As she stared at the letters on paper and dried petals of "Sweet William", her future husband put his hand on her shoulder.

"What is this?" He asked

"I wanted to ask you the same question now" she startled and showed him the envelope and what was inside it. William was astonished as well but as he read the sentence by Shakespeare a few times and looked at the petal of one of his wife's favourite flowers, he looked at her and kissed her on the lips.

The air surrounding them had a familiar scent. The scent of flowers which years before were a part of Catherine Murray's flower crown on her wedding day to William Howard.

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THE END.

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