#(side note that I like that while Kyle has this crisis going on he still offers to give Clea a ride home)

[daydreamerdrew]

The Defenders (1972) #73

#ohh I love the Hulk soo much 😭 #so Kyle has to go deal with a personal crisis and the girls all decide to hang out at the riding academy and listen to Patsy’s records #(side note that I like that while Kyle has this crisis going on he still offers to give Clea a ride home) #and after their long hectic adventure the Hulk hasn’t got it in him to listen to music #it’s too much sensory simulation for him right now #so he goes to sit in the peaceful quiet outside #and because the Hulk’s always had a hard time dealing with his emotions his mind is going to places like #why does Hulk need friends? #and Hulk just wants to be alone #when really the Hulk does like having friends and he doesn’t like being alone all of the time #it’s just that often his interactions with other people are deeply unpleasant for him #and he’s not equipped to be around people all the time #he’s built in a way that he needs his space #but this is genuinely a good moment for him like I don’t think he’s even leaving the riding academy property #he’s still in this safe place that the Defenders provides for him #he’s able to remove himself from a stressful situation and process his emotions on his own #and his friends don’t try to get him to stay and I really don’t think they’re bothered by his bluntness cause they’re used to him #so this isn’t blowing up into a situation where he lashes out at them #the Hulk still has a lot of room to grow #but I think that his time with the Defenders is where he’s done the most learning on how to mantain relationships with people #marvel #bruce banner #kyle richmond #patsy walker #valkyrie #clea strange #my posts #comic panels

[specter319]

𝗢𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗔𝗧𝗜𝗢𝗡: 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗟 THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD

Authors Note: It's been a while, and I do apologize for the wait. With the likes of mental health and finals taking the forefront and the incident that has taken the CoD community by the heart. I leave this little chapter as a means to try and comfort those still troubled by it and hope this can bring you some joy or inspiration, Fly High Vincent.

Gif Credit: Daniel Bruehl

Pairing: Damon 'Ninja' West x Kaden Lincoln, Simon 'Ghost' Riley x John 'Soap' MacTavish, Zack 'Nemo' Hayes x Kyle 'Gaz' Garrick. Word Count: 1.3k words no use of y/n eventual relationship establishment, however, Damon and Kaden are married. Summary: In a nation unaccustomed to war, Australia's newly elected government faces a dire crisis when rumours of a biological weapon on home soil, send shockwaves through the Government's defence sector. Dispatching a team of elite operatives to deal with it, the containment goes heads up as they look for other options.

The Black Angel Squad is soon assigned as the situation quickly spirals out of control behind the team's back unknowingly, and to stop a bleeding wound, Task Force 141 is brought in to assist them amid a frantic cabinet meeting of last-minute options and consistent fuck ups, forging an uneasy alliance between two teams. As tensions soar on both ends, questions arise about one thing: Was this the making of a weapon to begin with? Warnings: slow-burn, zombies, canon typical violence associated with Call of Duty, gruesome depictions of death, blood, swearing. ao3 version [Prev] [Next]

It was just a little over eight in the afternoon before a sudden tension was felt in the bones of a man, ironically enough, hidden behind a calcium veil, it was almost as if without even looking up from the conjoined notes of his inner workings that he could sense a presence at the door.

Before the form of the body could even knock, it was without hesitation that the male finally piped up as he signed away yet another form of action.

“Come in,” He was hoping it was that rapscallion Scotsman who was about to disturb him with useless conversation - anything to get away from a report that drained his life away only to have to replenish it with the likes of a non-existent sleep. But it wasn’t, instead, a younger, more reserved form of a man stood in front of him - Gaz.

“You’re urgently needed in the meeting room, Lieutenant. Price is calling all of us down here,” There was a hesitant form in his voice, he could hear it. Something had obviously gotten Price’s attention, and by the look of urgency in his eyes as Simon finally looked up from his paperwork. It was obviously no joke, usually Gaz would be off on his own thoughts, much like himself, or, hanging around Price. But the sucked in lips and almost targeted eyes had Simon moving his body before his mind could even calculate just as to where to go. And Gaz only knew to follow, closing the Lieutenants office door as they hurriedly walked down the corridors to the one place that never seemingly was abandoned for too long. Once more having people hanging around it, planning a move with what to do next.

“The whole team is there?” Ghost repeated as he looked over his shoulder

“Soap was about to come and get you before Price called him in, so I came and got you. Says a good majority of the Australian Government is there, plus Laswell is now involved apparently.”

“The Australian Government?” Ghost enquired as they entered the room, both met with waiting eyes from Soap and Price. As Ghost naturally gravitated towards the shorter Scotsman and looked over at the screen in front of them.

“Laswell.”

“Ghost, Gaz, good to see you,” Laswell spoke quickly

“Likewise,” Gaz chimed in.

“I do apologise for the short notice boys but, I’ve apparently been informed that there’s rumblings of a possible biological warfare happening out in a country that’s least expected in and amongst the giant spiders the size of a shoe. We got a report sent from Katherine about an attack and, well, I’ll let these guys say the rest. Prime Minister Wilson, if you want to take main stage,” Laswell stated before he spoke.

“Thank you Kate,” Wilson replied before he cleared his throat and began speaking up. “I was informed that, thanks to a few strings, favours and a very amazing Kate Laswell, that your Task Force is one of the best out there, though we have our own, not to brag. You’re going to be needed alongside them. Three days ago around 8:34 PM or 11:04 GMT your time, a complaint was made to local Northern Territory Police about a suspicious woman getting violent and angry, screaming as she ran around like a crazed lunatic. But, she never said anything verbally, just, screaming. Police were called to the scene after they tracked her down and tried to arrest the woman, but she had gotten violent all the more and she was shot on sight, during this process, it’s been reported that she had blood seeping from her eye sockets and had bitten a police officer.”

“Steamin’ Jesus,” Soap murmured “Blood from her eye sockets?”

“Correct, I’d state just exactly why but, I’m waiting for Professor Campbell to get back from her call regarding any further information about the report. What I can say, is the fact that, this is an isolated incident so far, and we’re keeping an eye on the police officer, in case anything goes south.” 

“Do apologise for the wait, I was just in a call with the local hospital that was holding the police officer. What did I miss?” Professor Campbell interrupted. Appearing fully in the camera’s view.

“Nothing much, we were just explaining as to what was going on incident wise and how this is an isolated incident as far as we know,” She was about to state more information, but was suddenly interjected by someone unknown to her.

“Why are we getting involved in it, your government has enough resources, doesn’t it?” Ghost budded in as he looked over at the screen. They had stated it themselves, a better task force than the one’s that they had right before them.

“Who might you be?” Professor Campbell questioned the man, interested by his own mask.

“Lieutenant Ghost,” A pause, she was caught off guard by the name, obviously.

“Okay, Lieutenant Ghost, well, we do have resources at hand, we have every security resource and health department on this because, this has been the first known case for someone to be bleeding from their eye socket, as far as we’re aware of. Though there is the cases where people can cry blood. According to three police reports I’ve gotten back, including the officer that was bitten. This was not at all the case, usually where it would form in the tear duct of the eye, it was forming on the middle of her eye sockets.”

No one knew what to truly say as they all looked at each other, how could you process any of that statement that you had been told.

“That’s impossible,” Gaz finally responded.

“It’s not, the crying part isn’t anyway. The only time tear duct bleeding usually happens, or as it’s better known for it’s scientific name, haemolacria. Is through trauma, surgery or infectious diseases. Given the reports of how this had occurred, we’re being led to believe that this could be the latter, and a few discussions had stated the possibility of plausible use of a biological weapon,”

“So you’re telling us, that you have no hardened evidence that this is a biological weapon, and you’re only giving us possibilities?” Captain Price asked. “I am not going to have my men risked until such time as you can safely state that you know it really is.”

“It’s the possibility that this might be a situated attack on the lives of millions of Australians that could be at risk if this isn’t chased up, which is why we asked you guys and our own team. We don’t know until such time as there is no plausible evidence that it isn’t a biological weapon. And we need your help to find out because if something happens here, god knows when the bloody rest of the world will fall to it,”

John was left in the bouts of a crossroads as he tensed up and grabbed at the seams of his shirt instinctively. He took in a deep breath before sighing and finally chancing it.

“What do we do if we find out it is?”

“Then you’ll be quarantined to make sure that you and your men aren’t infected with the disease, all the while we set up parameters that will keep the others safe and stop any of this before it gets out to the public, and handle the weapon accordingly.” It was the usual political jargon of ‘That’ll be when we get to it’. Looking over at his men, Price nodded before he finally gave in, knowing just what was at hand - but knowing that all of his men, him included, could deliver on it.

“When are we set to move?”

“As soon as you possibly can,” The professor stated simply. Given the mood in the room that John had seen as he looked around, this was apparently a hell of a lot more serious then what was initially thought.

And his task force had seemingly formed into a disease control team right under his nose.

#spectersblog #cod fanfic #cod #operationsentinel #cod mw2 #soapghost #specterwrites #cod mw22 #call of duty zombies #codfanfiction #cod mwii #cod fic #call of duty modern warfare #call of duty #call of duty fanfic #call of duty x reader #kyle gaz garrick #zombies

[anxiouspotatorants]

I just watched Batman and DC has once again drawn me into their waters with siren song before they will most likely drown me again.

Thoughts and feelings under the cut (major spoiler talk so spoiler warning!!!), but the short version is I love it.

First off let me get this off my chest: year three Batman year three Batman year three Batman year three Batman year three Batman year three Batman-

On a serious note I just love that they approached Batman in his early days without going all the way to the beginning. So often in the movies those days of Batman still figuring stuff out and making major mistakes with major consequences just don’t get explored but now we did!!

And while I’m not surprised at all I am very happy about Matt Reves’ and Robert Pattinson’s approach to Batsy. I’m talking emo I’m talking in a serious mental health crisis I’m talking on constant verge of crying (yeah people really weren’t joking about that) I’m talking self destructive and one track minded but ready 👏for 👏change👏

Like the fact that Bruce didn’t know Spanish enough to pick up on the grammatical error. The fact that the Riddler himself was like “oh you’re not as smart as I thought you were”. This movie let Bruce make mistakes and I for one am here for it.

Speaking of the Riddler I am so happy we finally have him back! Like thinking about it now he is the perfect franchise-starter villain because his aesthetic and his means demand all the basic elements of Batman that make him who he is: the mystery solving (detective Batsy!), the weird and wacky but also really dark looks, the multiple villains being kind of parallels/foils to Bruce!

Also I was pretty worried they would turn the Riddler into a Joker wannabe the same way Batman V Superman did Lex (I don’t hate that movie but it did Lex dirty), but he actually got to be his genuinely own thing! And they drew on different elements of the different ways the Riddles has been characterized over the years at that!

Sidenote one of my two pet peeves about this movie was the Joker reveal at the end (I am just so so tired of the Joker), but I’m willing to let it go if it just means we’ll get a full rogues gallery one day rather than this becoming a Joker franchise.

Speaking of rogues gallery Selina motherf*cking Kyle! Fashion girl Selina is back and she is rocking the prettiest leather looks in town to the point where even emo Bruce can pick her boots out from miles away. But even more important she gets to be the Catwoman brand of morally grey. Like, she’s the kind to pick up strays of any kind and only attacks/takes money hits on those she categorizes as morally bad, but she’s also convinced the world is doomed and that murder is the only end to violence and corruption. We really got to understand why her and Bruce are so perfect for each other but can’t really be together either.

And the way she fit into the story! Like it wasn’t just “look, there’s Catwoman doing her thing to the side!”, but instead that she was an instrumental player to the story.

My other pet peeve was that several of the romance-ish scenes between Selina and Bruce were so corny they took me out of it. Like Bruce awkwardly staring at her body and the romantic strings every time they were in the same frame. I love BatCat and maybe they needed this level of cheese for what is essentially a 24/7 drama queen movie (an observation not a diss), but I could have dealt with a little less of it. Cornyness aside the overall arch between the two was really good though.

Also James Wright is the best Gordon. That may be a personal opinion and not a fact, but It’s my fact.

This movie really was so dramatic from the Ave Maria and Nirvana to the artsy cinematography (which my basic film girl ass is very much here for) the constant melodrama. It might be bad in another world, but for Batman? For year three Batman? It’s what he needs and it’s what we as an audience deserve.

While we’re on the topic of cinematography this movie is so pretty. Like especially the lighting and the texture, it felt so up close and personal. I especially loved the Ice Lounge shots and the car chase with Penguin (I mean come on).

Not to mention that this really was a Bruce Wayne origin story. I love how in contrast to the trilogy this movie was about Bruce realizing he needs to be more than a selfmade weapon against crime. That when he does things thast way he’ll (however unintentionally) inspire people to do what the Riddler did. And how seeing Selina go down the same vengeance path he has carved out for himself helped him see that path in a whole new light. His parents may have been stupid at best and willfully colluding with corrupt forces at best, but Bruce has a duty to help as himself for the community and for himself. (and shoutout to mayor Reál, I am rooting for her)

I probably have a lot more thoughts and feelings but just. This f*cking movie. 

#the potato rants #the batman #batman #bruce wayne #selina kyle #catwoman #james gordon #the riddler #dc comics #the batman spoilers

[project-rosewood-476]

Chapter 2 part 3 Of Every Rose Has Its Thorns is out now! the AU and some of the ideas and characters belong to @creepypasta-shtick and Maplehood Creek, Rosewood, and Tabby Anderson belong to me.

TW: character death, mentions of blood and gore

Toby made his way to the door. Tabby followed suit. Toby opened the door. Tabby walked out and waited for him since she really didn't know where she was going. Toby led her to the door right next to theirs and knocked. He heard footsteps and the sound of someone moving so they could peak through the eye hole. Then the door opened a crack.

"Hi guys-"

Tabby gave a small wave with her left hand. Jane opened the door and let them in with a furtive look. Tabby entered cautiously. Taking in her surroundings. Jane's apartment looked pretty nice, though it was filled with masks. Something was cooking slowly in a crockpot, which smelled amazing. Jane offered them a weak smile. Tabby took note of the look and smile. She knows Jane is hiding something because she gives the same look that Tabby gives her step dad when he confronts her on the stuff she's being sneaky about. The smell of something cooking in the crockpot made her stomach growl loudly. She crossed her arms over her stomach with a look of embarrassment.

"So! What brings you here-" Jane started to ask.

Toby put a hand up.

"You're hiding something."

Jane looked taken aback.

"Hiding something? What would I be hiding-?"

"It's okay, Jane. Neither of us will tell anyone. We promise. We both saw you with that person. We both know they're not a proxy, but they're wearing a mask. Please...you can tell us."

"it's okay" Tabby gave a smile of reassurance.

She held her arms behind her back. Jane nodded slowly, then took a shuddering breath.

"I'll hold you both to this, you know. If anyone finds out, you can expect me to not react kindly." She got up, and went to a closed door. She opened it. Toby could just make out "Kayla, you can come out. They won't hurt you."

Toby watched as Jane led a human out of the room. The human was a girl, short with dark, heavy eyes, a dark complexion, and long cornrows. She dressed very nicely, in a cream-colored sundress that was now covered with dirt and blood. She had various injuries of varying degrees of severity, each of which were treated, but not professionally.

"She accidentally found her way down here with her friends...".

Tabby felt a pang of sympathy for her. She looked just like her when the boys found her in the woods. She noted her injuries.

"I'm Tabby"

She looked over at Jane

"Isn't there any way to return her back?"

"I'm going to take her. Tonight. But I need to see if I can find any of her friends." Jane said. Kayla looked shaky and terrified. She avoided looking at them.

"Hey...Kayla listen...I know what it's like being terrified....but we are the few good people...we'll be able to help you....where did you see your other friends last? Did you all fall together?" She looked over at Toby with an expression that says 'i know us being good people isn't true but please just go with it'

Kayla shook her head.

"We went different ways after we landed, trying to find a way out. I don't know how we got in-"

She was shaky and looked like she wanted fo cry.

"I don't know where they are-"

Jane patted her shoulder gently. Kayla winced. Jane retracted her hand quickly.

"Who all is with you?"

"Me and my four friends...Kyle, Nico, Angelina, and Erica..." Kayla buried her face in her hands. Her voice was shaky. "I don't know if they're-if they're still-"

Tabby took a deep breath.

"If they're still alive?" She sighed "honestly that could be a 50/50" "but we'll try to help in any way we can".

Toby nodded. "In return for us returning you to safety with your friends, you may not tell anyone about this place or what's in it. Understand? If you do, we can't help you."

Kayla nodded. "Okay, just please-"

"Where would your friends most likely go? Based on what they like. Normally people have preferred hiding places or places that they would go to hide or get away from everything in the human world. Maybe they would be in similar places here or close to it", asked Tabby.

"Erica is fast...she wouldn't hide. She would keep moving and never be in one place. Angelina would hide as far away from others as she could, so somewhere out in the woods. Nico...god, Nico would try to blend in. He would hide in plain sight if he could. He would listen in and figure out what was going on and mask himself. Kyle...Kyle would hide in a large building if he could. A large place with a lot of hidey holes.", said Kayla.

"Alrighty well... Erica and Nico would be a challenge....but I'm sure we can find Angelina and Kyle..." she said thinking out loud.

She turned to Toby "are there any most likely places that match those descriptions?"

Toby nodded. "Yeah. I can try to find Erica and Nico. I can sense them. You try to find Angelina and Kyle. Check the library and big buildings like that. Jane will help you."

"Alrighty then let's go. I just hope we don't get caught", said Tabby.

"Isn't there anything to like mask her as a proxy just temporarily?"

Jane thought for a bit.

"Well, the mask usually does the trick. Most people don't use their sensing abilities when they see the mask." Jane said.

"Toby's just extra sensitive to that sort of stuff. I could get some charms and wards and whatnot to mask her even further but a malus would easily be able to smell her."

"Well I'd rather take extra precautions. Better to be safe than sorry. In order to increase her chances of survival and to increase our chances of not getting caught"

Tabby has good interpersonal leadership skills when she's not being shy and anti social. She's always been known as the unofficial ringleader of her group when they were alive unknowingly. And she unknowingly did what she does best. Taking the reigns of any situation.

"I actually don't think it would be safe for her to go out at all." Jane mused.

"She would still be a target because no one would recognize her." Toby had a bad feeling about helping her but knew that it was the right thing to do. This stuff happened a lot. Just usually the humans would die within the hour of them getting here.

"Well then why doesn't someone stay here with her while we look for her friends...or what's left of them.....and like meet up at a secret place or something like that?"

Tabby shifted uncomfortably. Her intuition was screaming at her to be extremely careful about this.

"Our resources would he stretched too thin if we left someone here. We have to scour an entire city without help." Toby said. Kayla was staring at her hands.

"Well do you have any ideas?" She asked the both of them.

"We could leave her here. As long as the door is locked and she doesn't leave, she'll be okay."

"Okay...so are we still going to look for her friends?"

"Absolutely."

"Okay then. Let's go"

Jane led Kayla back to the room.

"Whatever you do, don't open the door if someone knocks. I have my own key. The doors to the bedroom and bathroom lock as well. The windows have bars on them. No one can get in through there. If you smell Sulphur, hide."

Tabby was fidgeting with the bottom of her shirt again. It wasn't getting into trouble that bothered her. She knew how to take severe punishments. It was just the fear of getting caught that bothered her. She just got this crazy second chance at life and she was already committing high treason. She wasn't sure what the punishments would entail coming from the Slenderman but she knew it wasn't going to be a pretty picture. Death at best. However her intuition and conscience were telling her to help. She always believed in giving others what she couldn't have if she can help it. In Kayla's case it was a chance at going back to a normal life and to have her friends back. She didn't like to having to make difficult decisions but she was also taught to do what she thought was right no matter the cost. And that will out weigh everything always. Toby knew this was wrong. He knew that no human deserved to live. He had been taught that humans were worthless ever since he joined this life. He should be wanting to kill this girl and her friends. But...he didn't. There was no point in it. He was having a bit of a crisis. Why didn't he want to kill her? Why did he want her to get to live as well as her friends? He was taught never to disobey the Slenderman, that his word was law and there was nothing he could do about it. Oh...well, as long as he didn't get caught. Right? Tabby's anxiety was growing. She couldn't disobey a direct order. Her step dad taught her that from a young age or else she got beaten. Same thing goes for the Slenderman only if she disobeyed she was pretty sure she would get a fate a lot worse than a beating and death. Her step dad also taught her that you have to be manipulative, cruel, mean, and selfish. No one else's life matters except your own. And if you have to use people for your own survival including death then so be it. But yet that's not her. Sure she was mean and harsh and lacks a conscious but that's just more of a coping mechanism. But her intuition said otherwise. She knew deep down that it was the right thing to do. And she was good at being sneaky so she shouldn't get caught. She cleared her throat and pushed away her step dad's teachings and stood up straight smoothening out her shirt with her hands shakily at her sides.

"So are we going or not?"

Jane nodded. She helped Kayla back to the room. She figured that Kayla should sleep now. Once Kayla was in the bed and dozing off, Jane went to her closet and began to load up on some weapons and some placeholder masks. She doubted these people were alive. But maybe with luck they would find at least one. Tabby tried to neutralize her anxiety by taking a couple of shallow deep breaths but it just made her more nauseous and she had a hard time swallowing. She still showed no emotion though. Jane was also nervous. The chances of finding her friends alive was very small, and the chances of getting them all out alive were even smaller. Tabby waited for everyone else. Her left eye twitched a little due to anxiety. Jane and Toby were ready to go. Jane had made sure Kayla was comfortable. Tabby followed them out the door. Toby said his goodbyes and immediately set off to try to find them. She said goodbye to Toby not really wanting to be left without him. She looked over at Jane.

"Now it's just the two of us"

Toby waved as he left. Jane nodded.

"Hopefully we can find them...alive I mean.".

Tabby gave him a small wave back. She turned to Jane faking the confidence to get rid of her anxiety.

"I hope so too...hopefully none of us get caught...let's go" she lead the way heading towards the library first.

Tabby gave him a small wave back. She turned to Jane faking the confidence to get rid of her anxiety. "I hope so too...hopefully none of us get caught...let's go" she lead the way heading towards the library first.

"Hopefully" she agreed.

#tw character death #tw blood #tw gore #every rose has its thorn #erhit au #creepypasta #creepypasta fandom #original character #tabbyanderson #tabby #ticci toby #toby rogers #eyeless jack #jack nicholls #bloody painter #helen otis #puppeteer #jonathan blake #clockwork #natalie oulette #ben drowned #jane the killer #jane arkensaw #kate the chaser #masky marble hornets #tim wright #hoody marble hornets #brian thomas

[basileafpitch]

Literally Every She Ra Season Five Spoiler aka Things I’ll never shut up about -

Adora and her mighty staff

“For the Honour of— ooooohhhhh”

Prime serving jello

Prime instantly calling Catra out on her gay yearning

Everyone overdramatically entering Adora’s tent while she is trying to rest

Mermista leading a princess mission

Glimmer and Catra laughing about Adora’s sleep fighting

More Baby Catra and Adora flashbacks aka me crying

Entrapta’s surprise space walk

“Is this a good laugh or a bad laugh? Well the longer it goes on the more I think it’s a bad laugh…”

Adora’s pony tail hole in her space suit

Bow’s ab window in his space suit

God (Catra) save the Queen

The iconic Star siblings

Bow needing time to come to terms with his feelings about Glimmers actions

Scorpia “I’m great at keeping secrets!”

Then proceeds to drop the bomb “Like one time Kyle told me he had a crush on Rogeli— uhh, nevermind. I didn’t say anything. What? Anyways-”

Swift Wind still holding out hope for She Ra because he’s the smartest member of the rebellion obviously

Bow and Glimmer make up

“Ready to do something that probably won’t work?” “Always”

Purified Catra reveal

Will I get over the short hair look? Never. Never ever.

Wrong Hordak aka the love of my life

Micah and Frosta <3

The entirety of Perils of Peekablue

Like there’s no bad part

First off Catra’s entrance with the new ‘fit

And the sitting on Adora’s lap

Secondly

The undercover outfits? Fuckin smashing. Smexy. Just *chefs kiss*

Mermista admitting she set a boat on fire because she just wanted to see how it felt

Perfuma and Scoria ;-;

Scorpia’s performance like heLLO????

My wife

Double Trouble I would kill for you

Double Trouble calling Sea Hawk “hot stuff”

Again my wife Scorpia

Catra’s space suit with the ears

Bow loving how cute she is

Her baby sneeze

Melog imprinting on mommy Catra

Wrong Hordak’s existential crisis

Spinerella and Netossa. That’s it thats the post

Oh shit I forgot ice ball earlier

Netossa outing everyone’s weaknesses

Mostly fire

Bow’s dads leaving a note with a hidden message that is a dad joke

And then Bow’s dads literally save the universe by discovering the failsafe

“We don’t throw tanks at our friends!”

Scorpia purposefully missing Perfuma and Adora :,)

Catra “why did I get the water princess”

Perfuma talkin to Catra about friendship and love and it not being a weakness and then the looks at Adora

Perfuma been knew

Swift Wind helping Entrapta find data even though it’s literally a horribly dangerous plan

Catra running into fire for adora

The Eyebrows Adora wtf

Ok getting to the grande finale here

First of all

Everything made me cry in these last two episodes

First off Melog trying to get Catra to go back to Adora bc They Know

Bow serenading everyone with his music and making swifty sleepy

Adora’s Catra flashes on their way to the heart

Bow and Glimmers ilys and the forehead kiss had me floored and sobbing what the fuck

Mara and Adora She Ras having the deep convos

Sea Hawk distracting Mermista was so adorable and soft

Glimmer my strong baby fighting Micah and realizing her strength

Bow saving everyone chipped

Bow and Scorpia’s hug (+ Melog)

Bow’s message to the universe

And now

Finally

We see Kyle and Lonnie and Rogelio

Only for a second which broke my heart but at least we know they’re okay :,,,,)

aND ROGELIO HOLDING GARGOYLE SON IN A BABY CARRIER

ARE WE NOT GOING TO TALK ABOUT THIS

LIKE THE THREE OF THESE GUYS WERE LEAVING WHEN THEY SAW SCORPIA IN SEASON FOUR BUT ONE OF THEM HAD TO BE LIKE “hold up we Have to go back for Gargoyle Son he is all alone”

Give me a spin-off series or give me death

Bow’s dads must be so proud

Of him not of Rogelio and Gargoyle Son

Though I’m sure they’d be proud of them too

Catra fight the worm octopus

No SHADOW WEAVER fight the worm octopus

Finally giving Catra the recognition she deserves with the “I’m proud of you”

That closure

Not so sad for Shadow Weaver but sad for the girls

Hordak taking that jump and trying to save the day!!

He tried his best and that’s what matters

“He a little confused but he got the spirit”

Catra will not leave Adora even if they both die

“Pls don’t both die” said me

The final fight!

We get to see our fave Huntara make an appearance yes queen

Also baby Double Trouble again slaying the game

Everyone kicking ass taking names

Ok

Sigh

The future dream

I can’t deny I sobbed

FIRST OF ALL

Catra look

Glimmer look esp the hair

Bow my boy lookin hot af like damn son

They’re all adorable together I can’t

And finally

The I love yous

Let’s recap shall we

Dramatic lights

Reaching hands

Crying a lot

“Don’t you get it? I love you! I always have. So please, just this once, stay!”

I’m crying right now while typing not gonna lie

“You love me?”

“You’re such an idiot”

“I love you too”

Bet you didn’t see that coming Catra

But seriously!!! For years, for ever, Catra has thought this was one sided. She thought the feelings were just from her because she thought Adora hated her. But then she admitted she never hated her. And then they worked together. And then the admitted love. It’s always been there, always been mutual

And finally

The slow burn is over

We cry

They kiss

The universe changes

Literally lesbians kiss rainbow lights universe saved

Coincidence? No

The gays really do be winning guys

She Ra the pretty flower maker

Big Space Tree

Everyone is happy!

Except for our boy Prime

F in the chat

Entrapta and Hordak :,)

Mermista “so are we all just, like, okay with this?”

Yes yes we are hun

Catra and Scorpia reunited and happy cant help but to stan

Raz! So happy :,,,,,)

The Forehead Touch

And Glimmer and Bow in the background giggling because they are the biggest Catradora stans

The best friend squad ;—;

Everyone is adorable and happy and kissy and huggy and I sob forever

One last road trip? Hell yeah

Fin

#she ra spoilers #long post

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Should I Stay or Should I Go? (The Eighties Blasts Collection, Part 11.)

Description: Jim Hopper died as a hero. But with that, one certain problem rises up - who will now lead the cops of Hawkins? Hopper thought of that - he decided to write a letter, naming his niece, nineteen-year-old student of Indianapolis police academy, Y/N Hopper as a sheriff deputy in a letter. But anybody in the town doesn’t have a clue that being a cop in Hawkins is way more dangerous than it might seem.

Part Summary: Hopper Jr. is now going through a slight life crisis - she is hunted down by a Shapeshifter, he cabin is out of use and to plan something with the dinguses around is basically impossible.

A/N: I just wanted to have a few minutes to catch a breath and to let Hopper have a bit of fun with the boys. Chapter inspired by You're a Fighter along with Boys and Girls from the Stranger Things 3 original score by Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein.

Word Count: 5.6 K

Tagging: @charmed-asylum​ @nemodoren​

Master list: The Eighties Blast Collection

The following morning was stressful and crazy, to say the least. Steve might have a day off from the video shop, but he still had to pretend that you're not in his room and that everything is just right and as it's supposed to be. He almost accidentally told his mom a few times. That was like walking on thin ice. He let you borrow some more of his clothes, making a promise that he'll stop in your cabin with you to take some of your clothes. 

He unlocked the door to his bedroom once his parents left the house - you were just sitting on his bed in his sweats and an old t-shirt, reading through one of his magazines. You already sneaked through the whole room, looked at the photos of him and the kids, your personal favorites were the ones with Dustin, one with Robin where they were... Extremely close, you looked at his books that were just covered up in dust and his collection of movies. You even found a small photo album, clearly as old as the time, hidden under his pillow.

There were mainly photos of small boy Steve where he was just incredibly cute - messy hair, always dirty from the mud that was outside, in his baseball outfit. Then there was little Stevie walking his bike... And a picture of him and Nancy hugging, which wasn't that old. Were they... Dating before? But on the same page, there was a picture of you, hugging Steve with a big, toothless smile - that was the fourth of July and you were making yourself apples in caramel. You could remember that he was much taller than you when you were both just kids. His mom took you both there since Hopper had to stay at the station until eleven in night. 

That night, the thing at Barb's treehouse happened. That memory made you chuckle as well.

But when Steve opened up the door, you were just casually laid down on the bed you've tidied up and you slowly turned your head to look at Harrington. 

“Well, the house is empty, come out and do as you please. Brush your teeth, have a shower, have some breakfast, just like if you were at your place.” - Steve invited you into the house with a warm smile. When you walked into the hall, you were surprised. The inside of the house hasn't changed a bit since you were little. There was still a ton of photos of small Steve - there was still even the one where you, Nance, Johnathan and Steve were trick or treating for the first time ever. It was so embarrassing that it actually made you chuckle a bit.

"Eggs, bagels, Eggos?" - Steve yelled at you from the kitchen, making you jump a bit as you freaked out. - "Triple-Decker Eggos Extravaganza?" - You snorted and reminded Steve of the tower of unhealthy sweets put into one mash-up. Hopper never bought you a cake for your birthday - but he always made a tower of Eggo waffles, whipped cream, jelly beans bought on the gas station, Hershey's kisses and Reese's pieces. You loved it. And usually, you invited friends and he made Extravaganza for each of them to celebrate your big day.

"I don't think I can cook you such a masterpiece." - Steve said with a chuckle, leaning into the fridge to look what's in store.

"I had exactly this suspicion since you told me that you'll cook me something. Who's a chief who doesn't know how to cook a good Extravaganza?" - You said jokingly, pouring yourself a glass of milk. - "Eggs and some bagel will do, then."

"Right. Hop into the shower, do you want some fresh clothes?" - Steve asked and leaned into the fridge to get some eggs. You shook your head, leaving him all alone in the kitchen. You could remember that Steve was less than a bad cook back in your day - you just hoped that he finally learned how to cook. When you got out of the shower, the house smelled... Nice. It didn't smell like the whole house is on fire.

And when you got down to the table, you were rather pleasantly surprised - Steve was already eating and watching the news. There was a second plate which was surely for you. Mashed eggs were formed into a smiling face along with a few strips of bacon, two fresh bagels were leaned into the plate and a cup of fresh coffee was served along with your glass of milk.

"I didn't know how you like your coffee, so it's basically just colored water." - Steve smiled at you. He was clothed as well - having a pair of jeans and a polo shirt. He was looking like a million bucks and you, sitting there with your hair not combed, dressed in a t-shirt that was saying Go-Hawkins-Go!, clearly supporting local baseball team, and your jeans muddy from the yesterday's incidents, looked like a horrendous monster, to say the least.

"This is too nice of you. Thank you so, so much." - You smiled and Steve just smiled back before turning back to the TV once again.

"They already informed about Mrs. Duffer. They said that there's a killer set loose and it awaits their next victim. Poor people." - Steve said a bit ironically, looking right into his plate. You nodded and furrowed. - "We'll catch up with Dustin and Mike today. Lucas and Max went on a trip, Nance is at university and Robin is on her shift. I already told Dustin via radio, he said he'll tell Mike. But first, before we start to plan an ambush, we need to see the people who went missing in the last... Month."

"An ambush? You're calling it an ambush?" - You asked unbelievably whole you shoved some eggs down your throat. You were almost grinning. You were hunting down a Shapeshifter. And they were calling the whole plan an ambush? They were such children.

"We obviously need to lay out a trap, because I and other dinguses can't beat it on our own." - Steve said and you started to laugh since it was getting more and more ridiculous.

"Sure, Harrington, sure." - You stopped after a while and took a sip of your milk. - "I think that I'm afraid for my whole life, but I'm trying to hide all of under the surface and then I look mentally ill."

"Hopper was more and more aggressive and ironic - the closer the Demogorgon got close, the rougher he was. Or, that's what I always thought. Everyone has their tactics to stand against dangers and threats. Or Demogorgons for that matter." - The boy on the opposite side of the table said and then, he got up to wash the plate. Hopper. The typical American tough guy who tried to act the toughest he could.

In reality, you hadn't met anyone more loveable who would've had a bigger heart than he had. He was the typical family guy - man dressed up in denim jeans, flannel shirt with a beard. The man from your local family ad. But yeah, you knew that he could be short with his temper, like when he was helping you to build your first kite (he broke it four times) or when someone was laughing at you just because you didn't have such nice dresses and played baseball in your fifth grade. Or when you had your first argument over boys when you got to puberty. Yeah, he was short with his temper, but he calmed down rather quickly and tried to win you over with ice cream and chocolate.

But to see him stand up against a monster? You knew for sure that you didn't have a chance to get to know this Hopper. But you somehow got the feeling that you'll be the same person when it comes to action.

You left the Harrington residence before it was nine o'clock - Steve insisted on taking you in his car since it was newer, fresher and not so far. He also was making sure that you won't leave him standing somewhere in the city. First, you drove to your cabin to pack some clothes, including a few t-shirts, jeans, sweats and a lot of sweatshirts and underwear.

You and Steve still had to think through how will he tell his mom why woman underwear can be found in his dirty clothes, but he just said that you shouldn't be worrying about that since you had bigger problems. Thank God, Shapeshifter couldn't be seen - it wasn't watching you, it wasn't hiding in the cabin, you were alone and safe.

Then, Steve drove you to the police station and parked on the small parking lot. He bought himself a cup of coffee from Dunkin' Donuts and listened to the songs on the radio, watching the surroundings.

You were in a completely different position - you walked inside the station, but you were visibly nervous. To cover the bruise on your forearm, you put on a long-sleeved turtleneck, covering it in Steve's Go-Hawkins-Go! t-shirt. Flo almost instantly noticed that you're pale and trembling the hell out.

"You look awful, darling. What are you doing here?" - She stood up and smoothed your face lightly. You smiled at her, pouring yourself a glass of water.

"I'm... I'm good. I need to speak with Stanford and to... Search through some cases." - You looked at her and then sat on the opposite side of the table, looking at her in the eyes. - "I think I found out something that links all the missing persons."

"So you want to copy the folds?" - Flo rose her eyebrows and you completely stiffed for a few seconds, thinking about everything. - "You're so much alike, darling. Hopper was just like you when he was younger - copying folds and cases, photos and notes, sitting at home in the evening and thinking about it. He fell in love with his job since the day he started here. I won't tell Stanford if you promise me that you won't show anyone else."

"I promise I won't, Flo. Please, bring me copies of the missing person from last month and Mrs. Duffer's case. I will talk to Stanford in the meantime." - You smiled at the old lady, exhaling out loud. You were lucky that Flo knew both you and Hopper. She was there when Jim started his job as a normal police officer until the moment he became the chief. And she was there even when you started there as well.

Then, when Flo disappeared in the back for the files, you knocked on your boss's door. Before you disappeared inside, Anderson gave you a begging look. You knew what was going on - he sent you to the site, he gave you the case, he was the cop responsible for what happened to you.

But you rose your fingers holding the glass and gave him a slight smile along with a small nod - he could be sure that he's safe. You didn't plan to tell Stanford that he sent you there.

"Good morning, chief." - You stuck your head inside when Stanford invited you. One look at you and immediately, Stanford could say that you're sick.

"Good morning Miss Hopper. I will immediately say that you're here to take a few days off?" - Stanford stood up and moved a chair so you could sit on it. - "I mean it, Hop. You look awful."

"Oh, yeah, that's why I'm here, definitely." - You said almost immediately in response, nodded and took another sip from the glass. - "I think I caught some cold, I almost didn't get up from bed, my muscles hurt... I need to visit the doctor's."

"You don't look good at all, Hopper. Take a week or two off. You were doing so well, it's alright to occasionally take a few days off. You're a good cop." - Stanford stood up and leaned his ass into his desk, watching you. You slowly nodded, giving him a slight smile. - "That's a deal, then. Give me a call once you feel fine. We'll miss you. What about your tests? How does that go?"

"First grades of this year were straight As, so I'm hoping to keep the score, sir. I hope you write me a good review." - You joked around and laughed. You sat in the office for a few minutes, so Flo should have the papers copied already. So slowly, you got up and smiled at Stanford, who was still watching as you were leaving.

"You can be sure, Hopper. You're a great addition to our team, so why would I do you any harm? See you when you'll feel good." - He waved at you lightly and turned around to look at the paperwork on his desk. Two weeks. Fourteen days. That was enough to catch the Shapeshifter in your opinion.

Flo secretly passed you a fold full of freshly copied papers that were still warm. So Hopper was doing the same things? He was taking the work home?

Sure, sometimes you saw him thinking over a case while he smoked a cigarette at home in the evening when he couldn't fall asleep, but this must've happened way often. What was Hopper's life like without you? Were you really that much like your uncle?

It took you ten minutes - to get the files and to talk out a holiday with Stanford. Steve was surprised since he parked literally a few seconds ago since he took you a coffee and a few donuts at Dunkin' Donuts.

"You're done already? I thought that they'll be having you there at least for twenty minutes." - Steve told you when you sat beside him. You furrowed and looked at him. - "Cops are so serious all the time, so I'd say that they are doing the administrative a seriously long time. That was an attempt to be funny." - Steve protected his ass with this excuse while he gave you his cup of coffee and started the engine again.

"You're joking about my profession, Steven. Don't forget that I can still kick you goddamn ass in an instance. I'm only playing sick for fourteen days." - You took a sip from your cup, unbelievably gazing out of the window. He was playing on thin ice.

"I was joking, Hopper, I was joking. Calm down. Don't forget where you're living now." - Steve looked at you while you were waiting on the green light, while Queen were playing in the car.

"Oh, I can live at Mike Wheeler's basement, can't I?" - You answered ironically, taking another sip. Jesus, that coffee was delicious. Steve knew what he was buying. He mumbled something like You totally can live with Mike, I dare you to. - "But really, is fourteen days enough?"

"Sure, more than enough. It took only a week to find the Mindflayer and to discover a super-secret Russian base underneath the mall in the summer and most of the time, I was wearing that Scoops Ahoy uniform. And I was looking like a million bucks." - Steve answered from his focused gaze watching the street in front of the car. He leaned his head towards you, motioning you to give him a sip.

"This is extremely dangerous and as a cop, I don't like this whole situation at all." - You need to say that you giggled, while Steve tried to drive straight but drink coffee at the same time. You just liked that boy, he could be funny at times.

"But it's hilarious. My favorite trick. Ladies are going crazy from this." - Steve gave you a big smile and you just rolled your eyes, taking a sip of your coffee. 

The car stopped in front of Wheeler's residence ten minutes before ten o'clock. But you weren't getting out of his car - instead, he took his donuts and coffee and looked at you. - “Well, take the radio from under your seat and call Dustybun.” 

“You can't do that on your own, Harrington?” - You mumbled and almost threw your cup of coffee at Steve, almost spilling out his. You found the radio, which was pretty messy - there were pieces of food stuck on it, a clear stain from coffee and... Oh, Lord, what was the last thing? Did you want to know? - “This is just fucking disgusting.” 

“Shut up and call Dustin before I let go of at least one of the cups.” - Steve mumbled, barely holding everything in his hands. You slowly exhaled and pushed the buttons on the radio. 

“Dustin? Hopper here. Do you copy?” - You asked, watching Mike's house, but then you turned your head to look at Steve and it was way more interesting. His balancing was on point, you needed to admit.

“Yeah. Why do you have Steves radio?” - Dustin asked with a true interest in his voice, but you just turned the radio again and chuckled. - “Don't worry about that douche, he's here and he's trying to impress me.”

“Is he?” - Dustin asked back, but it didn't sound like a joke at all. But Steve just panicked, leaned to the radio and gave you a short look. You rather turned the radio and put it to Steve's lips. - “You tell another word and your ass is grass, you're dead Handerson, do you copy?” - Steve hissed into the radio. Dustin just hummed in response. - “Now tell little Wheeler to move his little tush and open up the door, or I'll let go of two cups of coffee which weren't exactly the cheapest. Copy, over and kill.” 

After that, you sat there with your lips parted, having a daring smile on your lips. - “All right, okay. What was that, Harrington? Are you threatening a small kid?”

“No, I just politely told him to mind his own damn business. Will, you be so nice and take your things already?” - Steve almost threw your pack at you and you were just laughing when you got off the car. Mike stood there already, waving at both of you. 

“You have everything?” - Mike asked, leading you to his basement. At that moment, Karen came to look at what's happening. She was rather surprised to see both of you standing in the hall of your room.

“Hopper? Steve? What you're doing here?” - She went to hug you in a mother-like way, smiling at the both of you. Mike just widened his eyes and he was about to protest, but you knew your way with parents. Your parents, Mike's parents, Hopper - you knew your way. 

“We would like to go camping for a weekend with the kids. Since anyone else is in the town, Nancy is at school and Robin isn't available, we just have an early meeting, to sketch our schedules, like when I should have a weekend off, and these, you know, it is a lot to plan.” - You chuckled. You spoke so calmly and everyone in the room just bought you the story. Even these two who knew you're just blatantly lying were buying it.

“Yeah, yeah.” - Mike nodded, being overly dramatic. - “We want to go camping with Steve, Hopper, Robin, and Nance. Maybe having Jonathan and Will would be really nice, so, we really have to go and... Talk.”

“Yeah. It was my idea originally.” - Steve said proudly while Mike continued on his way to the basement door. You just grabbed his jacket and dragged him behind Mike. - “You wish to come up with an idea like this.” - Karen only grinned and walked back to the kitchen.

“Dustin, you should've seen it. Y/N just thought a lie on the spot and it was so good that my mom believed all of it.” - Mike said to Dustin and sat down on an old couch. It was messy and smelled funny, but you didn't say a word. - “I didn't know that cops can lie as you do.” 

“It was good, all honor to you, Hopper.” - Steve showed you a thumb up and took a bite of a chocolate donut. You sat next to Dustin, saying hi to him. 

“You think of me as of a cop, but you all forget that Jim Hopper was my uncle and almost something like a dad.” - You grinned at Steve. - “I had to come up with sorts of crazy apologies and lies. But I think that Hopper knew about each one of them.”

Then you actually got to the unpacking of the fold Flo printed out for you. There were six people gone missing in the spawn of the last month - old Mrs. Duffer and that boy Alex. You put those ones away since you thought that Shapeshifter won't take their looks again.

There were two men from the nearby factory who got lost on the same day, but really, you found it improbable that the Shapeshifter would take out two men at once. The last two people was a girl around Mike and Dustin's age and a man, who looked like he will climb out of the picture and will eat you alive.

Just when you establish on who did you thought could be really killed by the Shapeshifter and who just got lost or decided to leave. You were left with the young girl, killed Mrs. Duffer and Alex, the small boy.

But everyone was still a suspect.

Karen brought you lunch down to the basement when you were sitting there for two hours already. It was a plate of grilled chicken breasts with vegetables and potatoes. And it was totally delicious.

While you were eating, there was time to finally discuss the ambush as Steve called it. Mike Wheeler had surprised you with an amount of knowledge about ambushes and Demogorgons in general.

"We have to take it somewhere where we know it and where we're sure about what we're going to do. We can't let it take play the surprise card." - Mike said with his mouth full. Your gaze wandered around as you chewed grilled meat. To be honest, you kinda didn't know what they were talking about at all. You've never hunted down a Demogorgon, you've never seen it in action, you've never fought against it.

"He means that we have to know our surroundings - it would be truly a dumbass move to take it to the woods or somewhere out there, where our hands are tied and we're practically blind. Knowing your surroundings does a lot." - Dustin explained what Mike had said to you and you hummed back in response. That made sense.

"What if we take it somewhere where we've already fought it?" - Steve tried to say something meaningful to the subject.

"Hopper wouldn't be glad if we would break her cabin like we did in the summer, we've already rampaged the public pool, we've fought it in Will's house, in the wood, the car graveyard and who can forget Starcourt?" - Mike started to list on his fingers, looking Steve in the eyes.

"You mean school?" - Dustin asked Steve. Steve clearly didn't mean school, but it made him appear smart, so he slowly nodded, testing the waters. - "Mike, that's actually a good idea. I knew you were smart sometimes, Steve!" - Dustin stood up and Steve truly didn't know if he should be offended or complimented. - "It's not too hard to get into the school in the evening, we'll just beg mister Clarke to borrow us his keys to the radio room. Hopper will act as the responsible adult who will promise to stay there with us after closing hours. She's a cop, so no-one will question it."

"And I'm not a responsible adult?" - Steve asked offendedly, looking at Dustin, who just giggled right into Steve's face.

"Steve, you're everything but adult and responsible. On the other hand, you're the best babysitter that Hawkins's basketball team has ever seen." - Dustin patted Steve's shoulder in a friendly way, but you furrowed as a new wave of insecurity rose inside of you. Your silent voice practically muted down the bickering between Steve and Dustin.

"What if it won't work along?" - You asked silently, but even if the question didn't sound like it had too much sense in it. Everyone just questioned it while you straightened up. - "What if it's not after me? What if I and Mr. Mom here wrong and it was just a coincidence that it found me. It maybe isn't out to hunt me down. Maybe it's just hunting down literally anyone that crosses their path."

Everyone shut up for a moment and looked somewhere in the distance. That was a valid question and an argument that had an actual point.

"We need to test the theory out, I guess." - Dustin said quietly and Mike looked at him.

"No. No. No. No. I know that look, dickheads and yeah, that's a no." - Steve said loudly, standing up, laughing almost unbelievably. No-one else was laughing though. You didn't know what was going on and even if the boys did know what was going on, they weren't laughing at all.

Steve stood up, put his palms on his lips and swiftly licked his lips, looking at every one of you. - "And there's too little of us to stand against that. No. Don't ever bring that up again."

"Calm down, Harrington, she doesn't even know that we talked about her." - Mike looked at you and you just rose your eyebrows. You truly didn't have a clue that the boys were talking about you.

"What does that have something to do with me? Why are you standing? Sit the hell down, babysitter." - Your palm tugged Steve's denim jacket to sit down, while you let Mike and Dustin speak their minds.

"There was the first Demogorgon two years ago. It dragged Will to the Upside Down and it had eaten Barb. But Nancy and Jonathan figured out that the Demogorgon is something like a shark. It senses blood from miles away - they cut their palms to attract it. It worked the last time at least..." - Mike told you quietly and you just looked at your palm, opening and closing it once or twice.

"So you want me to cut my palm so we could to lure the monster inside the school?" - You asked worriedly. - "What if it doesn't work? What will we do then?"

"That's why we need to test it out, Hopper. That's when the old car graveyard can come on handy. We can use the bus as a barricade again." - Dustin mumbled, visibly surprised by the brightness of his plan.

"The Shapeshifter is smart. Perhaps even intelligent. It uses tactics, and not just hunting ones. It tried to scare me when I was in my cabin, it tapped on the windows, scratched it." - You looked at the boys and licked your lips. - "What I'm trying to say is that it probably won't just fall for the trap that easily."

"We'll be prepared. There will be Lucas, Max, I and Dustin, you and Steve. Maybe even Nance and Robin. And that's eight people against one Shapeshifter - at both school and the car graveyard. We stand a fair chance." - Mike said and you actually believed him that he believes that you can really make it. - "And if it's smart, just like you're saying, Hopper, it will run away from the graveyard. It will definitely know that it's in danger."

You looked at Steve without pretty much nothing in your face. Steve didn't agree, not a bit, but at least he sat back on his damn ass. - "It's a good idea, Harrington. You've been there with me, maybe the Shapeshifter is after both of us?"

"Nice try, but I'll gladly stay out of your trouble. But, if you want to test it out, I guess we're testing it out." - Steve agreed with you, but you could say it doesn't bring him any happiness.

"Yeah. Let's plan this whole thing out, shall we?" - You asked the boys and took a small notebook and a pen which was Mike giving you.

Both you and Steve alongside Dustin were leaving the Wheeler's residence just half an hour before five o'clock and half an hour before Steve's parents came home and you had to be locked in his room. Two pictures were hanging just above the driver's seat, so you always saw the faces of the two lost persons.

Slowly, you drove Dustin home and after that, Steve drove you both to his home. He helped you with the bag to your room, you hid the file in your room and he locked you inside as he went to greet his parents.

In Mike Wheeler's house, there was everyone already sitting at the table, including Nancy and Ted. Karen was looking at Mike, her eyes constantly running back to him and then to Holly. Until Mike asked her what's up with her.

"I was thinking about Jim's goddaughter and Steve." - Karen tried to think about how to slowly lean into the subject she was interested in.

"What about them?" - Mike asked back annoyedly, playing with his food, looking at Nance. She was truly surprised that her mom has seen you together. Mike told her that you were there to have a small meeting, talking about the Demogorgon, but what the hell did your mom see?

"I just think they're looking really nice together, that's all. Are they dating?" - Karen casually asked from serving the fresh salad on her plate, having a contented smile on her face. Nancy and Mike looked at each other, prepared to defend your name if they found it necessary.

"I'm sure they aren't." - Nancy said and took a sip of her lemonade. - "If they were dating, Steve wouldn't be able to shut his mouth about it."

"Yeah, I think so." - Mike agreed with his older sister immediately - they were able to be a great team when the situation demanded them to be one.

You, at the same time, were sitting on the floor of Steve's floor when the lock suddenly unlocked. You hoped that it's Steve with some food, but instead, Mrs. Harrington walked in first followed by Steve. At least, she was holding a plate of food, putting it on Steve's desk.

You immediately stood up and your cheeks reddened when you thought about what you're going to say to Mrs. Harrington. But she just smiled at you, waving you off.

"Steve already told me what happened. I didn't know that deers can have rabies or that they're so aggressive during it. I heard it broke your door in the early morning?" - She stood up and looked at you. The worst thing about all of this was that she was deadly serious.

So, Steve thought that deers could catch rabies. And he obviously told his mom that deer which caught rabies is why you're practically living in their house. And she believed it. That boy was either a total genius or a complete, utter idiot.

"Oh, yes. It suddenly just speeded into my door and broke the wood in half, so... I need to buy another door." - You nodded and fidgeted your fingers on your belly. Mrs. Harrington looked at Steve for a while and then she waved him off and shut the door.

"Or, if it is because you feel alone there, honey, you can talk to me." - She hummed, gently soothed your cheek and caught your palms in hers. - "I know it's been a lot and that living on your own isn't funny. You have anyone to talk to, you woke up and it's empty and when you go to sleep, it's also empty." - That was true. It was awfully empty at the times you were just coming home from work. You sat down on the armchair, took the leftovers from lunch and subconsciously waited on Hopper. You usually slept in the armchair, waiting for your godfather to open the door and come in.

"No, it's just rabies. I'll just get the window repaired and buy a new door and then I'll come back to my cabin. I'll be here for a week if I can." - You smiled back and she nodded. - "Thank you for your hospitality. It means so much to me."

"As for that... Dean still doesn't know you're here and it would probably be better if it stays this way until you move back. It's silly, I know, but Dean would not understand as I and Steve do.” - She told you and hugged your shoulders with one arm and you let her. - “And if anything happens, if you need something, just call me Catherine, alright?” 

After that, she left you in the room and Steve walked in with the glass of lemonade which Mrs. Harrington served you. 

“I need to tell at least my mom since she does the laundry and she would notice that the food would disappear.” - Was one of the last things Steve had told you that night.

#steve harrington #steve the hair harrington #worlds best single mom #hawkins baseball team #mike wheeler #dustin handerson #nancy wheeler #bill byers #jonathan byers #joyce byers #karen wheeler #mr. and mrs. harrington #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #suzie #stranger things #jim hopper #hopper #hop #hopper jr.

[ssaalexblake]

star wars spoilers

ros spoilers

move onnnn

like actual proper major spoilers and i’m making this intro long in case mobile decides to hate read mores today

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Anyway like, i am a Shallow sw viewer who isn’t actually likely to kick up a fuss abt what i didn’t like in any serious way even tho i got issues, But i wanna say what i really liked b/c?? there were moments in that movie with themes i Loved and i don’t wanna be negative nancy for this franchise because i am actually incapable of taking it seriously tbh no matter how wtf or wild it is and i just Gotta;

First of all. The entire franchise was worth Rey it for calling Leia Master. 

like, they added her in best as they could, which wasn’t fabulous but i can’t really say how they’d work their way around that tbh so i’m not gonna rag on abt the Leia plot But god they proper confirmed she was a Legit Jedi thank u V much.

Chewie!!! Got!!! his!!! medal!!!

they put porgs in the movie, it was my only request and i recieved. i am content. 

also the effects on old palps were Incredible and Creepy and!!! props to the vis effects teams

also s/o to the choreographer who planned out rey’s fighting style to look like gymnastic tumbles but with a murderous glow stick. love it.

idk what extended sw canon now says about force powers being able to heal But the old eu book shatterpoint is one of my faves and i loved the inclusion that Rey can just like. Heal. 

also lol i heard daisy ridley on the radio this morning and she was supposed to be requesting songs to air but didn’t know the names of them and i have Never related to anybody more than i did in that moment. 

look ok, that rey and kylie could literally fight each other when not in the same room was Really Cool ok

tho i would have Paid to have seen the pov of an outsider while they had lightsaber battles from miles away tbh b/c that would have been Wild

i had one Horrified moment where i thought the ‘rise of skywalker’ thing was a Pun about kylie dragging his ass up from that hole and u have No Idea how thankful i was @ the Rise sequence

also i, a massive mace windu fan, was Ecstatic his voice was present in the proceedings

which were A) tacky and B) Abdolutely my favourite thing ever. 

it’s a space opera ok i am allowed to Want to be here for the tacky heartwarming shit

‘is that the navy??!?!?!?!?@ ‘ no sir... it’s.. .People’ was one of the funniest yet heartwarming sequences in anything ever ngl

HORSE WARTHOGS

inexplicable lin manuel miranda cameo

rey’s temper explained due to the fact that she is related to... Vilanelle

and look ok, i Always hated the idea of Rey being related to the skywalkers and Any crap meta that she had to be family for it to Count properly. It was an insult to found family, any form of adoption etc etc and i am.. Actually very mollified by this familial turn of events lol. It has a certain symmetry. and sw is literally built on the idea that history repeats but... different. 

i was’t against rey being related to anybody, i just didn’t want her to be a skywalker because like... she was gonna Be a skywalker b/c legacy isn’t about blood, and uh... least i was right. i am naturally happy abt this. 

also when i watched tlj the first time i was CONVINCED at the end of the movie she’d raise luke’s x wing from the depths as yoda did for luke in esb, and was Super off put that i was wrong. I was not wrong just... my timing was off. luke rose the x wing for her. ur yoda now luke. deal with it. 

the other ex storm troopers who laid down their weapons!!! all of them!!! fin is not alone, they only have power by making you think you are alone!!! 

i Really loved that thematic thread btw

also richard e grant’s performance was actually kind of chilling

but i am glad that i can still happily say that every character in sw Is a total unmitigated idiot. All of them. Stupid. Idiot rights. Yes, this is a plus point. 

i also liked that it’s Kind of obvious hamill and ford picked up slack for what Would have been carrie’s scenes??? Like, it’s horrible she’s not there but they obviously care to do that in her stead. it’s sad but makes you smile. 

as much as i’m not a kyle fan and never will be, and as much as i am not a fan of the ship, i can’t say there there weren’t decent thematic threads around the rey and kylie plot. Her symbolically killing kylie in a fit of rage, actively actually rising to his bait, realising as luke did in the roj climax that she had let the dark side get the better of her But having the power to take that Back and heal him and Stop even after she’d done something. It’s like the originals but not. And so, kylo is dead and Solo walks again. Was this plot My thing? No. But i appreciate the symbolism of him being stabbed through the stomach like he did to Han, and i appreciate the contrast of her actions after doing that versus His after he did it. What a difference. 

i said this wasn’t a complaint post but u wanna know the worst part abt the movie??? how cheap the sith dagger looked. surely u can do better than that???

anyway, 3po’s red eyed when he translated the sith was hilarious tbh. 

also hilarious: sw’s response to hiring Another brown haired white lady was to Only show her eyes in a way that was Incredibly conspicuous and was therefore unintentionally hilarious. 

Finn is Explicitly force sensitive now and it’s over for y’all 

wedge!!!

like... the sith amphitheater???  with the ghosties of all sith past (i think??? my interpretation anyway) was Genuinely creepy??? 

this is a Bit of a side note, but Luke was Perfectly in tune with tlj luke??? Because tlj luke changed tune before the end of That movie when he gucci booted his astral ass to distract kylie, him Saying his fear was wrong was merely verbal confirmation of what was portrayed in tlj. really. That’s not them backing away from tlj, it’s afffirming it. 

i really loved that hux just got That death. I liked  that while he Was used for ridiculous comic relief, the narrative did not forget he was just straight up evil. 

L A N D O

that i all. that’s the point. just lando.

sheev palpatine’s late entry for Shittiest parent/paternal figure in the sw universe Was at the eleventh hour but by god did he give it his all to win the competition. 

things only relevant to cm fans: they killed kate callahan’s husband!!! :((((

critics are slamming them for like, hardly killing anybody but I for one am happy they didn’t go grimdark and just went. Fuck it, we’re gonna keep being bullheadedly optimistic and most everybody lives, deal with it.

s/o to that gay moment that lasted like 2 solid seconds but i’d have preferred it if she’d been like, making out w/ chewie tbh.

that hug!! the trio hug!! my ot3!!! that i am even more convinced would Properly work as an ot3, too btw. Poe spent the whole movie jealous finn is into Rey, while confused abt it b/c He’s also kinda into Rey in that han/leia Tension kinda way, but Finn is also into Poe but not in the Puppy way he is with Rey, in the ‘i am so in love w/ you i don’t realise it but i trust you with the world’ kinda thing and Rey also has the Tension thing w/ Poe and would do anything for Finn but she’s like... Busy. B/c like, unfortunate family reunions and the awkwardness of being a millennial Actually offered a decent job that your morals do not allow you to take and the crisis that leaves u with. 

anyway what i’m saying is the ot3 is Sailing in my head. look how it ended!!! Sailing. 

however, i would like it known that the lady at the end Should have heard the word skywalker and Run for the hills. missed a chance. 

But also Rey Did find that family of hers Maz told her she’d get ahead of her!!! i hate how many ppl say that was dropped or forgotten. like wtf??? what are finn and poe and chewie and bb8 and 3po and all the army of droids that love her and all the resistance that does too??? Luke and Leia??? y’all obsessed with blood when it comes to sw. She’s got her family. 

now i Could make a complaints post but i just... I’ll leave that to everybody else and their mothers for now bc they’d be better at it anyway. I liked This stuff. Except for that point about the dagger. that sucked. 

#and once again i gotta say fuck to keep this outta tags #believe it or not the is a positive post #i... did not start watching the space opera thinking i'd get stunning cinematic achievements #so i'm not like... actually disappointed bc i expect nothing *shrug emoji* #but as listed #there were many many things i liked to the point i enjoyed watching even tho a few things i Hated #and god i hated them a lot #but also the sw can be super dumb and some of y'all takes on inconsequential parts are.. . absurd #spoilers #sw spoilers #ros spoilers #rise of skywalker spoilers

[poemsfromthealley]

“Salt in the Wound” first impressions

(ALL THE SPOILERS FOR SHADOWHUNTERS 3.07)

I tried to find a snazzy opening line for this post but all that keeps coming out of my mouth is a slow stream of oh my god so let's go with that.

Because, Christ on a bicycle, last week's ep was patchy in places but this one may yet again have topped my list of all-series favourites. We have flow! We have pacing! We have knock-out performances from one actor after another! Things move at a clip but the underlying emotions breathe beautifully.

Let's break this down, pardon me if I occasionally devolve into keysmash:

Clary, Clary, did you just rush after Owl!Jace without backup?! I appreciate her going at him hard, though. They're building a distinct fighting style for her: the way she lays into his body with a series of punches is reminiscent of her fight against Valentine.

fuck that moment when he actually drops her. I had chills.

oh my god she called Simon. In that moment of despair. I'm sorry I AM HAVING AN EMOTION over this.

hiiiiii Maia, I MISSED YOU (even though you were there last week and were lovely), and shit, here we go with the scumbag ex storyline. Alisha Wainwright is stupendous, including but not limited to how she creates this softer, younger, less assured version of Maia. You can really tell the difference. I'm so glad Simon immediately musters to her side, too, even if space is what she needs right now. They have such fantastic mutual support going on.

THE WHOLE TEAM around the war table at the Institute, YES please.

on the note of top-notch performances, Kat McNamara is in wonderful form. She's a bit too good with grief and hurt (in a way that reminds me of Nana Visitor in DS9, weirdly enough) but it punches to the gut when Clary spills the beans. When it comes down to it, she's not dodging responsibility. I'm not too happy the show dragged the reveal out this long but the scene itself is A+.

and ALEC. The way he says "I knew it", of course he did, of course, he's not stupid. The way his face moves through all those stages of "oh shit"---his parabatai died and lied about it and got possessed by Lilith, and here's Clary now, and what does Alec do? Fucking hugs her and admits he'd have done the same. Alec loves Jace. He knows Clary loves Jace. He had and maybe still has his issues with Clary, but he gets it, and his compassion for her is greater than the utter dismay at their current predicament.

then he goes on to run after Magnus and hugs him and I am all to pieces because this conversation solves nothing of the core issue but even so, they love each other, they're going to pull together in this crisis, how are they so GOOD. It's an imperfect resolution but it grounds them both again. This is what I was hoping for, knowing that the main plot was about to hit before the mid-season break: the acknowledgment that despite their differences, they're better together, stronger together.

and they have that entire reconciliation conversation while still hugging, oh, it’s not like I needed my heart or anything.

I am weak for team feels and mutual support and this episode just kept feeding me: Simon rushing to Clary's side, her telling him to go support Maia, Alec and Clary, then Magnus and Catarina and their incredible friendship. Luke being all, Ollie is my partner, I gotta bring her home (and I hope to god he can do that).

I hurt for Magnus every time he shoulders the blame for the elixir and Jace's condition.

Luke and Simon are a brief comedic delight but Luke, damn it, are you not a detective? Haven't you ever played D&D? Never split the party in the dungeon creepy candlelit church!

did Lilith's disciples turn to salt when Simon's mark of destruction hit them? That's... oddly specific since so far people just got serious injuries. Or is it because they were possessed by Lilith at the time?

I knew Kyle was shady, and I was partly spoiled for his and Maia's past, but goddamn I love Maia confronting him. "You're not abandoning Simon." It gets at the core of her pain and vulnerability in a way that is very her: she won't face away from her problems and neither does anyone else get to.

my hat is off to Dom Sherwood, too: he's doing his utmost with a sometimes ham-handed plotline, and god, it got brutal in this episode. How much is there going to be left of Jace when they get him back? Imogen Herondale was a hard, hard woman but it hurt to watch her end.

“Some assembly required” and “I’ll tell him you perished in a tragic jewelry-making accident” were such necessary funny beats in a relentless episode.

the Alec, Izzy & Clary teamup in Alicante is gold and the scene where they deceive Consul Penhallow is a thing of beauty.

I have a thousand feelings about Clary in this episode and they all culminate in her stand in the cemetery: that is such a classic hero moment, of course, staying behind so her friends can escape. She thinks quickly and concludes that if the Clave is focused on her, they won't come for her friends immediately. She can buy them the time they need to free Jace. Sure it is a kind of self-sacrifice, but I love how measured it feels, and how consistent it is with her ruthless pursuit of whatever she deems her most important goal (in this case, getting Jace back).

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go yell at walls until next Wednesday.

#shadowhunters #maia roberts #clary fairchild #malec #stuff by j #episode shoutings #all the team feels #shadowhunters spoilers #sh season 3 spoilers

[truemedian]

Even a lesser John Mulaney-hosted Saturday Night Live is pretty funny

John MulaneyScreenshot: Saturday Night Live TV ReviewsAll of our TV reviews in one convenient place. “I mean a lot to a small group of people.” If your third SNL hosting gig is your weakest yet and is still consistently funny, well, you’re probably John Mulaney. The former SNL writer turned award-winning stand-up and almost apologetic actor is just funny. That’s perhaps not an enlightening way to describe the guy, but there’s a certain kind of comedian who just is. That’s Mulaney, taking the mic for his third opening monologue since he left the writers room and slaying with habitual, deceptively effortless ease. Joking about his eccentric career path to date, Mulaney explained that he is the host who’d done the least between his second and third hosting stints, his self-effacing shtick both cheeky and spot-on. (A set-ender about a Make-A-Wish girl confessing that her second choice Mulaney introducing her to that week’s guest Lin Manuel Miranda actually made her wish come true struck exactly the Mulaney sweet spot of potentially edgy and hilariously apt.) Mulaney’s always going to be Mulaney (even as a cartoon pig) his specific, knowingly oversized delivery marking him out as the funniest voice in any room. That doesn’t necessarily make for the most versatile Saturday Night Live host, but, with Mulaney’s intimacy with the show to guide things, tonight’s episode made typically fine use of one of its funniest, if most unlikely, superstar alums. But back to funny. With a sketch veteran like Mulaney in house, jokes just work better. He knows the rhythm of a sketch inside out, and slots himself into a role with the confidence of a guy who simply knows how the machine operates. (A little cue card hesitancy notwithstanding.) Which is a good thing, as the sketches tonight weren’t themselves stellar. The big news any time John Mulaney hosts these days is just whichever aspect of New York culinary-mercantile sketchiness will be the subject of a lavishly produced musical number, and, while tonight’s Broadway ode to LaGuardia Airport sushi is third in line behind (in order of undeniable delightfulness) “Diner Lobster” and “Bodega Bathroom,” it follows the overall theme of the night that third-best Mulaney on SNL is still thoroughly enjoyable SNL. Look, nothing’s ever going to capture the surprise victory of that first sketch—just like any recurring bit, there’s an element of giving the audience what they’re there to expect that saps some of the initial live-wire weirdness from the enterprise. But, apart from the central players in the set-up (Chris Redd and Mulaney as the New Yorkers horrified at Pete Davidson’s unwise choice of NYC convenience amenity), there’s a no-doubt inexhaustible well of petty New York gripes and vomit-worthy eccentricities for Mulaney and his fellow Big Apple veterans to plumb for extravagantly silly numbers whose disproportionate response is part of the gag. Here, we get Kenan as a plane-downing goose Phantom, Cecily Strong as an operatically remorseful, long-ago sushi chef (that spicy tuna is from 2018), Kate McKinnon as pretzel-hawking Auntie Orphan Annie blaming everything on de Blasio, Beck Bennett as the somehow unaccompanied baby on your flight, and—capping things off with a double dose of Mulaney’s Sack Lunch Bunch shenanigans—musical guest David Byrne as a “Road To Nowhere”-singing “baggage handler who throws your luggage into Long Island Sound,” and Jake Gyllenhaal, rigged up to fly as the traveler in pajamas who’s creepily enthusiastic about the TSA pat-down. (“You don’t have to use the backs of your hands!”) Taking the whole show into the audience to end the sketch amidst a shower of loose-wire sparks with Byrne singing the way, the whole thing was delightfully, goofily unnecessary.

Best/Worst Sketch Of The Night

So, apart from that one, I thought Mulaney’s stand-up persona found its truest home in the Sound Of Music sketch, a musical dissection of just how creepy that whole “I am 16, going on 17" romance subplot is. With Cecily’s Liesl (in ridiculously fine voice as ever) beginning to question her beloved sort-of Nazi suitor Kurt’s blond, Aryan suitability, Mulaney keeps slipping in the sort of wise-ass asides his comedy is built around, as Kurt keeps confessing to being more like “17, going on 47" as the song goes on. (Oh, and he’s planning to move them into an apartment with a lot of suspiciously Aryan roommates, including one named Goebbels.) With Mulaney’s Kurt alternating between snarking about his beloved’s growing number of reservations (“Wow, she’s got a list.”), and smoothly crooning away her reservations about the whole Nazi thing (“Focus on the age stuff.”), the piece was a perfect use of Mulaney. Him assuring Liesl, “This is Austria, nineteen-thirty-bad: In a few weeks this will be the least of your worries,” was the ideal synthesis of host, delivery, and premise. Any sketch matching Kate and Aidy at its center is an automatic contender, and the return of their melodramatically feuding 1950s sisters in the classic Say, These Two Don’t Seem To Like Each Other gave the ever-delightful duo a chance to outdo each other with bitchy period skullduggery in advance of their shared suitor’s arrival. The joke is, once again, that their Davis-Crawford (pretty much literal) back-stabbing proves helpless against the unwitting charms of a much more conventionally attractive family member (here, Mulaney’s returning sailor and “pass-around party bottom”). Having the joke that Beck Bennett’s Admiral (somehow being promoted from Corporal last time) is in a closeted frenzy at Mulaney’s oblivious nautical sexiness (shades of Kimmy Schmidt’s “Daddy’s Boy” and Hail, Caesar!’s “No Dames”) is hacky but funny, with Beck, Kate, and Aidy all doing absurdly over-the-top mugging (including a straight-up “Ha-ga-goo-ga-goo-ga-gaaa!”) while maintaining their 1950s film noir demeanor, and I laughed at pretty much all of it. Mulaney’s gift for straight-manning (as opposed to party-bottoming) was used to fine effect again in the meme sketch, where his suburban uncle angrily whips up a slide show of college-age nephew Pete Davidson’s reddit jokes at his expense. Mulaney makes the uncle’s outrage at being the internet’s #whitecollarvirgin simultaneously righteous and comically out-of-touch, as the memes keep coming. (His awkwardly grinning Facebook profile picture overlaid with “When ya’ll kissing and she say, ‘That’ll be $200'” is introduced with Mulaney’s hilariously perplexed, “This next one was tweeted by rapper Ice-T!”) There’s not much more to the sketch but watching Mulaney flesh out a portrait of out-of-touch suburban dudgeon, but’s just so great at it. Like more than a few sketches tonight, there were some pacing/timing issues, here mainly at the expense of an ending. Beck Bennett and Kyle Mooney got to do their behind-the-scenes thing with a filmed sketch about Mooney—tired of all the “geek” roles coming his way—deciding to turn their shared office into a gym in order to get cast in Mulaney’s proposed male stripper sketch. The pair’s signature self-parody here clanks alongside the admirable monstrousness of Mooney’s post-transformation prosthetics, as he immediately becomes a smugly buff, absurdly pumped-up dudebro (thanks to, among other things, the absurdist delight that is guest trainer Justin Theroux as himself), scooping a muscles-smitten Chloe Fineman into an offhand sex-date and allowing a bashful Lorne Michaels to pet his newfound bulges. Good Neighbor pals Mooney and Bennett’s humor traffics in such light cringe comedy, as clueless strivers inevitably find their lowest level, as, here, the horrifying, gravel-voiced, ’roid-gremlin version of Kyle, having made himself “less interesting” for glory, is summarily fired from the show by an unimpressed Mulaney. Lurking at the heart of most of these sketches is a mingled affection/contempt for the bottom-dwellers of the entertainment industry, pitiable losers whose lifelong consumption of TV and movies has left them convinced that they are just one big break (or Tupperware full of lean, broiled chicken breasts and a 5 p.m. bedtime) away from the stardom they just know is their birthright, and Mooney, especially, is most comfortable playing around there. (Also, filming schedules being what they are, it’s unlikely this sketch is in response to Pete Davidson’s off-weeks’ interview about being typecast on the show, but there’s a harsh but essential truth about living or dying on SNL that’s resonant throughout the bit.)

Weekend Update update

Che continues to successfully play around with his role on Update, here breaking from a joke about the growing coronavirus threat to muse about his fears that they’ll play an Update clip of him mocking the typically lame and self-serving Trump administration response to the crisis at his funeral. In what former SNL-er Al Franken would call “kidding on the square,” Che confessed to “sitting here pretending to care about politics,” before whipping off his clip-on tie, whipping out a tumbler of something brown (“Why am I hiding my drinking problem?”), and, finally, donning a crooked baseball cap as he essayed the role of a Michael Che who’s finally been broken by all the world’s unrelenting horseshit. It’s a blessedly funny move, carried out through the rest of Update (“You know, I just found out I might have a kid?,” he’s heard mumbling after the camera cuts back to the straight-faced Colin Jost), and it adds a frisson of reckless abandon to his side of the proceedings that’s sloppily energizing. “I feel free,” he exclaims at one point, and his story about his beloved grandma telling him, “We are living in our last days,” lands satisfyingly, before Che rambles on to rebut granny’s “no white girls” rule. (“I work in show business, that’s unrealistic.”) Joining in on the cold open’s queasy mockery of the prospect of noted fundamentalist and science skeptic Mike Pence leading the uninspiring cadre of sycophants, yes-men, and non-doctors Trump put in charge of fighting a potentially deadly outbreak of disease, Che did resort to yet another SNL “Mike Pence is secretly gay” joke. And I could have done without the “Chinese people eating dogs” joke when supposedly defending the virus hotspot, too, although, for Che, loosening up seems to come yoked to being sort of an asshole. Otherwise, Update’s cracks at the news of the day went as usual. Jost let Trump hang himself with his own slurred nonsense (Thank god we have “different elements of medical” on the coronavirus front), and—echoing Trump’s rhetorical gambit of using supposedly overheard chatter to disseminate patently absurd nonsense to the world—deftly managed to get the hashtag #TrumpSlump trending during the show when talking about what he’s definitely heard people calling the precipitous stock market losses since Trump started babbling incoherently about the “hoax” outbreak of a rapidly accelerating infectious disease outbreak. Hey, if that’s the world of public discourse we live in at this point, then fighting hashtag with hashtag is fair game, so good on you, Jost. Chris Redd, taking the well-known SNL path of making yourself a showcase on Update when you’re being underused elsewhere, put together a solid few minutes as himself, commenting on the just-concluding Black History Month. As with most such pieces, the jokes sprayed all over the place, although nominally anchored to the central premise that, as Redd put it, black people “took too many Ls” for Black History Month this year. Straying into politics while keeping his eyes on the joke, he ably described SC primary winner Joe Biden as Joe “I have a black friend” Biden, and noted how watching the garrulously long-winded Biden give a speech is like “watching an old man parallel park his thoughts for 20 minutes.” On Trump’s hastily disseminated photo of himself surrounded by the handful of black Trump supporters he could get to pray over him, Redd, in his best turn of phrase, described the gathered worshipful as “White House negroes,” and ran down some of the more egregiously misguided corporate appropriations of Black History Month, including that credit card that makes it look like Harriet Tubman is either saluting Wakanda or “she got recaptured.” Weekend Update has long been a place for cast members to present their own, individualized versions of the newsreader gig, and, should Jost follow through on his suggested post-election departure, this is about as good a tryout as Redd could give.

“What do you call that act?” “The Californians!”—Recurring sketch report

The John Mulaney “I hate New York” Musical Showcase; the Kate-and-Aidy 1940s Femmes Fatale Extravaganza.

“It was my understanding there would be no math”—Political comedy report

Hey, everyone’s going to get super-sick! So that’s funny. Or it could be, I suppose, if the cold open didn’t shy away from the aforementioned flop-sweat generator that is Mike (“condoms don’t work, pray away AIDS, smoking doesn’t kill, climate change is a myth, intelligent design”) Pence is in charge of mustering the nation’s medical defenses to wheeze into another underwhelming Democratic slate sketch. Again, the joke that noted frothing gay-basher Pence is in the closet is (whatever the truth may be) beyond played out at this point, although at least Beck Bennett’s strident Pence nodding toward his willful disregard of scientific truth by calling the coronavirus a test of his faith “like dinosaur bones, or Timothée Chalamet” was half-smart. And Kenan Thompson coming out as Ben Carson (“the brain surgeon that they put in charge of house development”) was the usual hoot, with Kenan’s approximation of Carson’s singsong cadence making his dire predictions about the toll of the virus extra alarming, especially to Pence, who hurriedly shoves Carson aside for straying from the administration’s sweaty “All is well!” public stance on the topic. That things veered suddenly into a another stealth Dem candidate sketch could have served to hammer on the theme, I suppose (although simply following through on the premise might have been an idea, too.) But things quickly turned into the same unsatisfying quick-hit impressions and internecine sniping among the candidates, an exercise that’s seeming more and more like a slightly unimpressive audition process for who’s going to be the eventual nominee. (Sort of like the much of the actual remaining Democratic field, but I digress.) Honestly, only the (increasingly unlikely looking) prospect of a four-year Elizabeth Warren-Kate McKinnon reign holds any interest for me at this point, McKinnon’s spot-on impression the only one to go much beyond the surface into something more substantive. (You know, like the actual Warren, but I digress.) As for the rest, we have ringers like Larry David’s Bernie Sanders and Fred Armisen’s Mike Bloomberg. And while who doesn’t like David’s gabbling, kvetchy Sanders, there are some issues. Namely that SNL can’t think of much to do besides grumpy old candidate jokes with the surging potential nominee (although a passing reference to Bernie’s “Castro wasn’t all bad” remarks this week at least nodded toward actual engagement). Also, as much fun as Larry seems to be having coming back to 30 Rock every other week, it’s unclear if he’s on board for a theoretical Alec Baldwin-style regular gig should Sanders win. As for Bloomberg—meh. He’s not going anywhere politically, and, as primly humorous as is Armisen’s shrugging rich guy approach to this whole “let the poor people decide” thing is, it’s yet another role whose farming out to a higher profile outsider continues to signal the show’s lack of confidence in its in-house talent. Same goes for Rachel Dratch’s Amy Klobuchar, whose best hope at this point is a Vice Presidential gig (on both fronts). There’s nothing wrong with any of these funny people or what they’re doing per se. It’s more that there’s no reason for them to be there, and that these sketches remain irritatingly shallow. On the in-house side, that seeming lack of confidence appears not so much borne out in these openers as untested. Sure, Colin Jost barely tries to conceal how unsuited he is to play college chum Pete Buttigieg, and the absence of other ringer (and other Dem impersonation I could stand to see more of) Jason Sudeikis saw the Joe Biden spot going to Mulaney (who would likely be the first to admit that celebrity impressions aren’t in his wheelhouse). But, what with SNL’s proven disregard for gender-appropriate political casting of late, the fact that able mimics Melissa Villaseñor and Chloe Fineman and nimble actresses Heidi Gardner and Ego Nwodim remain on the bench is increasingly vexing. As for the actual sketch, it was the same too-glib drive-by, with only Warren’s gloating over her debate trouncing of Bloomberg registering, in McKinnon’s lived-in performance, with any juice. Meh.

I am hip to the musics of today

Goddamn, that was great, as David Byrne (late of the aforementioned Sack Lunch Bunch), joined Mulaney and delivered a pair of electric live performances. He did “One In A Lifetime” first, and it’s striking just how Byrne keeps that well-trod Talking Heads song from receding into classic hits predictability in performance. That song is as weird and satirically biting as ever, as much as its ubiquity threatens to turn it into just another toothless oldie, and, with his identically grey-suited backup musicians all channeling that old Stop Making Sense spirit with their non-stop individualized choreography and musicianship, the song—with the 67-year-old Byrne holding center stage, as deceptively limber as ever—was a showstopper. So, too, the rousing second number, the Byrne-penned “Toe Jam,” where Byrne ceded even more time for each member of his expansive musical team to shake their stuff in the individual spotlight. Easily one of the most enjoyable musical guests in years, Byrne remains a one-man show unafraid to let others steal the show. Just bottomless fun.

Most/Least Valuable Not Ready For Prime Time Player

Not building sketches around the proven talents of performers like Nwodim, Fineman, Villaseñor, and Gardner just seems perverse at this point. SNL’s second line looks thin in the talent department because nobody’s making use of them. The LaGuardia extravaganza gave Cecily, Kenan, Kate, and Beck plenty to sink their teeth into, but Cecily’s second singing showcase of the night puts her on top.

“What the hell is that thing?”—The Ten-To-Oneland Report

Well, at least we got Chris Redd’s welcome and funny comic tribute to Black History Month on Update, so the muddled mush of the Jackie Robinson sketch can stay the ten-to-one oddity it is. Kenan is delightful, don’t get me wrong. As the lone black man to boo color-line-busting legend Robinson, his Dodgers fan Terrence “The Enlarged Heart” Washington was a funny construction, his petty jealousies trumping any sense of racial pride or loyalty. As the 1940s white fans around him look on puzzled at Washington’s animosity toward the first black MLB player, Kenan makes his frustrated non-ballplayer’s grudge almost but never quite hilarious, although the way his bewildering heckling keeps igniting pockets of revealing racism beneath the white fans’ sporting loyalties is fairly pointed. Beck Bennett’s loudmouth fan immediately starts an “Oh, so it’s all right to boo white guys?!” side-argument that ultimately and inevitably sees him getting carried away by telling Robinson to go back to the Negro Leagues where he belongs. Still, the funniest joke is when Kenan, berated by bleacher-mate Mulaney for talking that way in front of his kid, notices the young black child sitting next to him and exclaims, “I don’t know this kid!” Stray observations Kate, as The Sound Of Music’s Maria, sings her own reassurance concerning her relationship with the Captain, “I’m old enough, but it’s still kind of dicey.” Jost, on Joe Biden’s resurgent Democratic primary win in South Carolina: “But, in keeping with South Carolina tradition, the losers will get the statues.” (In front of photo of a Confederate monument.) Mulaney’s monologue has me scanning the internet to see if he’s scored another Netflix special yet. (Not yet, apparently.) From going as close to the edge as he gets with jokes about Jesus forgetting to do magic on the one occasion he could really have used it, to that Make-A-Wish anecdote, to a great run about how crappy the Founding Fathers really were, to a straight-up joke about Trump being stabbed to death Caesar-style by some senators, it was tight and focused and very, very funny. On that assassination joke, Mulaney reassured everyone, “I asked my lawyer if I could make that joke, and he said, ‘Let me call another lawyer,’ and that lawyer said yes.” Mulaney’s Kurt, to Liesl: “Oh, age is just a number that the government keeps track of.” Redd kids on the square that the withdrawal of all black candidates for president has meant less airtime for him. After Che—still in booze-swilling carefree mode—jokes that Ash Wednesday is the one day a year when Catholics can indulge in “a little bit of blackface,” Jost signs off, laughing, “For Weekend Update, I’m Catholic . . .” All welcome Che’s proposed new Houston Astros mascot, Cheatie the Camera. Before Davidson’s customer makes his ill-gated sushi purchase, he and Redd buy “a Chobani yogurt with no spoon to eat it with” and “a $15 dollar Dasani, extra plastic.” Once more the show ended awfully abruptly, so here are the full goodnights again. Good night! Daniel Craig and The Weeknd next week! Read More Read the full article

[ladybanshee19]

South Park AUs

So I feel like making several South Park AUs, each one based in a different tabletop RPGs. The first one is based in Dungeons and Dragons, 5th Edition in the Forgotten Realms campaign setting. The second one is based in Pathfinder, in the official campaign setting. The third one is based in the Chronicles of Darkness aka the New World of Darkness 2nd Edition. And the fourth and final one is based on Princess the Hopeful, a fanmade mod for Chronicles of Darkness. All four of them will include a story, designs and character sheets (and I’m putting them at the maximum level 20 simply because I can). This post will just give you an idea of what to expect from each AU. I’ll make individual posts going into more detail on each one. Also worth noting is that all four of these AUs will feature both Creek (Craig and Tweek) and Style (Stan and Kyle) my two South Park OTPs.

An Ancient Rivalry DnD 5e Forgotten Realms AU The human city-state of Kupa Keep is in a crisis. Its ruler, Grand Wizard Eric Cartman, is more interested in setting a petty grudge with the wood elf tribe of Larnion than he is in actually doing his job. The people are suffering, leaving a party consisting of: the barbarian warrior Tweek Tweak, his rogue boyfriend Craig Tucker and their friends, Token Black, a cleric of Lathander and Clyde Donovan, who recently obtained power as a warlock from a demon out of desperation, to save the city from its tyrannical, sociopathic ruler, with the help of Butters the Merciful, a paladin of Ilmater and the mysterious Princess Kenny. Meanwhile, the leader of the Larnion tribe, Sylvan Lord Kyle Broflovski and his human vassal, the ranger Stan Marshwalker, must contend with protecting their home and people from the Grand Wizard, as several secrets from the past begin to surface once again.

Note: This particular AU is inspired by the boys’ Fighters of Zaron LARP game from SOT but takes its own direction to better fit into the setting of the Forgotten realms

Come Hell or High Water Pathfinder AU Trouble always seems to find you, wherever you are in the world of Golarion. In the elvan kingdom of Kyonin, elf druid Kyle’s hope for a normal life is shattered when a human oracle named Tweek from Andoran tells him he’s destined to stop a great evil. In the nation of Cheliax, a country infamous for its mandatory devil worship among other things, a wizard noble Eric Cartman has dreams of glory, a desire to rule over all of Golarion with Cheliax as its capital. To do this, he seeks out the darkest and most dangerous of Golarion’s secrets. Tweek tells Kyle that this is the evil he must stop. Fortunately, he’s not alone. In addition to Tweek, Kyle also finds help in other residents of Andoran: the ranger, Stan, the magus Kenny, the sorcerer Craig, the barbarian Clyde, the bard Jimmy, the paladin Butters and Token, a cleric of the goddess Sarenrae. With these companions at his side, Kyle must venture forth to stop the Chelish wizard from unleashing Golarion’s greatest evils again, while not letting his growing sense of self-righteousness consume his heart at the expense of everything else.

Note: This AU is also slightly inspired by the LARP game from SOT as well, but with a few more changes as well as some influence from Phone Destroyer, specifically Craig and Clyde’s classes. Tweek’s class was also inspired by a post I saw floating around about how Tweek could be a seer with how often his paranoia turns out to be justified (can’t remember where I found it, sorry).

The South Park Chronicle The World of Darkness is full of many things, and nothing is as it seems. I, your humble Storyteller, will guide you though the many chapters of this chronicle. Here, you will meet Stan Marsh, recently Embraced as one of the Kindred, a vampire who must not only work to maintain the delicate balance between his fading humanity and the Beast within him that drives him to kill and feed, but also to maintain the Masquerade, to keep the secrets of vampires hidden from mortals. You will meet Tweek Tweak, who recently discovered that he is one of the Forsaken, a werewolf who must work to protect the mortal realm from both vengeful spirits and the Pure, werewolves who wish to return humanity to the Stone Age in order to reunite the spirit world and the mortal world. You will meet Craig Tucker, who awakened as a Mage which grants him the power to protect the Sleepers from the Seers of the Throne and other magical threats, so long as he can keep his pride in check. You will meet Butters Stotch, a Promethean created from a corpse and Azoth the Divine Fire who must now embark on a journey to become human, which sadly is easier said than done when existence itself hates you. You will meet Kyle Broflovski, who was whisked away by the True Fae to their home realm of Arcadia and remade to serve one of them but managed to return to the real world to discover that the world didn’t miss him in his absence and that some of the True Fae’s changes were permanent. You will meet Kenny McCormick who died protecting his beloved sister Karen only for a Geist who calls itself Mysterion to offer him a chance to cheat death and return as a Sin-Eater, where he discovers he must use his newfound abilities to protect mortals and help ghosts who are unable to pass on, even though he’d rather look for his sister who went missing after he died and came back. Finally, you will meet Eric Cartman, who discovered in a dream that he was a monster at heart in more ways than one, a Beast who must sow nightmares among mortals to sate his soul’s unique hunger, a duty he’s all to willing to embrace. You will also see their paths cross, bonds form and watch as they struggle to make it in the World of Darkness.

Note: This one won’t be out for a long time. I’m still trying to get my hands on a few other source books, some of which aren’t even out yet at the time of this post (sidelong glance at Changeling the Lost and Geist the Sin-Eaters).

Nobles Unite Princess the Hopeful AU Darkness is everywhere and only the Nobility can stop it. The Nobility in this case, meaning Princes and Princesses, men and women armed with the power of the Light and the magic in their very beings. Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Craig Tucker, Clyde Donovan, Tweek Tweak, Token Black, Jimmy Valmer, Butters Stotch, Wendy Testaburger, Bebe Stevens, Heidi Turner, Nicole Daniels and Annie Knitts all discover that they possess this power and pledge their allegiance to the Radiant Queens, the Queens of Clubs, Diamonds, Hearts, Spades and Swords so that they may help them in their mission to fight the Darkness and its minions. However, another Blossoms and discovers this power as well, Eric Cartman who instead pledges his allegiance to the Queen of Mirrors, one of the three Twilight Queens, who tells him that he’s the True Heir, destined to restore the Kingdom to its former glory, a “mission” that brings him into conflict with other Nobles and other devotees of Mirrors who were told the exact same thing.

Note: Given that Princess has a rather idealistic setting, especially by World of Darkness standards and compared to the canon South Park universe, I figured this would be an interesting challenge.

That’s all for now. Stay tuned for more coming soon. Character sheets and pictures will be posted here. The stories will be posted on Archive of our Own.

#south park #dungeons and dragons #forgotten realms #pathfinder #chronicles of darkness #new world of darkness #dnd 5e #nwod #princess the hopeful #pth

[gadgetsrevv]

Man City aren’t in crisis despite Norwich shock. PLUS: Bayern’s Bundesliga dominance is under threat

There’s lots to talk about in this week’s Monday Musings following a wild weekend. Gab Marcotti is here to recap the big stories around soccer.

Jump to: No crisis yet for Man City | End of Bayern’s dominance? | Fati masks Barca’s issues | Juventus get lucky | Neymar gets rude welcome | Arsenal woe continues | | Neville harsh on Man United? | Chelsea’s youth movement | Dortmund ready for Barca | Odegaard dazzling for Sociedad | Why Firmino’s so special | Conte, Inter keep winning | The sad story of #BlueGirl

Sky isn’t falling for Man City despite Norwich shock

One of the more odd decisions this past summer was Manchester City not replacing Vincent Kompany. “Replace” is perhaps too strong a word. You can’t “replace” him but you can bring in another live body to give you an alternative at centre-back and provide some competition for John Stones and Nicolas Otamendi.

– Ogden: Man City might regret inspiring Liverpool – Miller: Have Norwich shown the league how to beat City? – ESPN’s Ultimate XI: This team would win everything

Many of us pointed this out but hey, it’s Pep Guardiola, so you naturally offer the benefit of the doubt. He must know something we don’t. Maybe Fernandinho (at 34) can fill in too. Maybe Eric Garcia is ready. Maybe Kyle Walker can slide across. Maybe Aymeric Laporte is Iron Man and will never get injured. (Oops: we already know that’s not the case.)

Pep Guardiola’s side looked vulnerable in Saturday’s shock defeat at Norwich but there’s still a lot of time left for them to get their balance back.

It’s not that Otamendi and Stones are bad defenders, it’s that the way City play can leave them vulnerable, which is pretty much what happened against Norwich in their 3-2 defeat. There’s a price you pay for choosing to play a certain way and evidently, for City it’s one worth paying. The problem is this is a low-scoring sport. Scoring goals is difficult and ideally, you want to make conceding them as difficult as possible for the opposition. With those two back there and this setup, it’s that much easier for them.

Updated Luck Index: Man City continue to be unfortunate

No, the sky isn’t falling. Even in this game, Man City could have grabbed the three points with a bit more luck. Nor will they always face someone as motivated and as intense as Daniel Farke’s crew who, severely depleted by injuries, went all out with nothing to lose. But the reality is that the gap separating them from Liverpool is already at five points, and the last time that happened was back in January.

Is time running out on Bayern’s Bundesliga dynasty?

Is this the year someone in the Bundesliga topples Galactus (read: Bayern)?

Leipzig had their audition on Saturday, holding the champions to a 1-1 draw. The result keeps Julian Nagelsmann’s crew top of the league with Bayern fourth, two points back. But other than the usual drive and running you’d expect from Leipzig — and, after the break, the character that wasn’t always there last season — I’m not sure we quite saw enough to predict they’ll prevail over the marathon that is a whole season.

Thomas Muller, right, and Bayern were forced to settle for a point vs. RB Leipzig thanks to some familiar flaws that manager Niko Kovac has yet to fix.

In fact, a lot of it had to do with Bayern’s deficiencies. Having gone ahead early thanks to the age-old Thomas Mueller-Robert Lewandowski connection, they failed to capitalise on their lead despite having the upper hand for much of the first half. Joshua Kimmich in central midfield alongside Thiago Alcantara gave them a bit more control against the press, but they were sterile in the final third. Leipzig deserved their equalizer after a bad error from Lucas Hernandez (the sort that prompts you to say “He cost how much?”) and while late chances meant it could have gone either way, there wasn’t too much separating these two.

The difference? Well, you try to imagine how they can get better and you can see far bigger margins for growth at the Bayern end. Nagelsmann can conjure up some more tactical voodoo, Emil Forsberg might last 90 minutes, Kevin Kampl might be fit again and maybe they’ll get something out of Patrik Schick. But it’s slim pickings.

As for Bayern, Nico Kovac lost David Alaba to injury in the warm-up. But he still has Philippe Coutinho, who only came on with two minutes to go, and Ivan Perisic, who stayed rooted to the bench: presumably both were signed for a reason. The question, really, is how much faith you have in Kovac.

Fabulous Fati obscures Barca’s issues

Ansu Fati, already the third-youngest goal scorer in the history of La Liga, got his first start for Barcelona on Saturday against Valencia and set the Camp Nou alight inside 10 minutes. He scored with a confident, accurate finish, set up a goal for Frenkie de Jong and came close to scoring two more times. Oh yeah, in case you didn’t know, the kid doesn’t turn 17 until Halloween.

His emergence, and that of Carles Perez, means that Lionel Messi (who was in the stands) and Luis Suarez (who came on and scored twice) can come back into the team in their own time. But equally, despite the gaudy scoreline (5-2) and the excitement over Fati, there is still plenty for Ernesto Valverde to work on.

Valencia are a mess right now (thanks, Peter Lim!), having sacked Marcelino and replaced him with Albert Celades. And they still stayed in the game thanks to Kevin Gameiro, falling apart only after Jasper Cillessen‘s mistake for the third Barca goal. Suarez, looking sharp and hungry (no, not in that way), later added two to put the game out of reach.

Defensively, Barca looked far from solid, not just at the back but also in midfield; the fact that it was the first choice trio of De Jong, Arthur and Sergio Busquets doesn’t bode well.

Juventus get lucky vs. Fiorentina

There’s a ton of ancient bad blood between Fiorentina and Juventus. Throw in the enthusiasm that new owner Rocco Commisso has engendered within the Viola organization, the fact that it was Maurizio Sarri’s official post-pneumonia debut and especially the fact that the visitors lost Douglas Costa, Miralem Pjanic and Danilo through injury during the match (and the first two are especially key to the way they play) and perhaps Juve should be happy with a point.

Why? They were poor for much of the game against an opponent who treats the match as if it was the Champions League final and “Avengers: Endgame” rolled into one. Sarri later blamed the heat of a mid-afternoon kickoff, which is a bit hard to stomach since presumably Fiorentina felt just as hot. It might have been better to just take it on the chin, be grateful for the point and move on.

PSG fans will take time to welcome Neymar back

Neymar made his first appearance of the season for Paris Saint-Germain at the weekend and was greeted, predictably, with boos and insults. It’s what you expect when, after pledging your loyalty to the club, you go out of your way to force a move back to Barcelona. So what did he do? Easy, he scored a “worldie” deep in injury time to secure the three points against Strasbourg.

– Laurens: The definitive story of the Neymar saga

“I expected it, but in the end I forced them to applaud,” he said afterwards, adding that every game will now feel like an away match.

He made his bed, he can lie in it now and won’t get much sympathy. But at the very least, he deserves recognition for the professionalism he showed Saturday. Whether he’ll ever get love from the Ultras given what happened is unclear but that doesn’t mean they can’t reach some mutually beneficial relationship.

What’s obvious is that if you’re Thomas Tuchel, you’re glad he’s back.

Arsenal’s issues are self-inflicted

The statistics say Arsenal conceded 23 shots on goal in the second half against Watford on Sunday. That’s one every two minutes and it’s frankly hard to do. It’s especially tough when you go in at half-time with a two-goal lead, one which, based on what we saw in the first half, was likely more than generous. And yes, they ended up settling for a 2-2 draw.

You can focus on individuals — Matteo Guendouzi, Sokratis Papastathopoulos, David Luiz — all you like and there’s another statistic floating around that says that since the start of last season no team has made more errors leading directly to opposition goals than Arsenal. But this is a team issue.

If you have error-prone players, you design tactical systems that protect them and don’t expose them. That’s just basic. And that’s on Unai Emery.

Real nearly throw it away before PSG trip

It’s a sign of Real Madrid’s current state that even after playing well, creating plenty of chances and racing to a 3-0 lead at home to Levante, they still required a last-ditch save from Thibaut Courtois to retain their three points. In the cold light of day, you’d look at this performance, note Madrid’s domination, the fact that the goals conceded were against the run of play and chalk up the 3-2 scoreline to the randomness of football. And you might even celebrate Eden Hazard‘s debut and look forward to what is next.

Instead, it’s all fraught nerves ahead of the trip to the Parc des Princes to face Paris Saint-Germain in midweek. Context matters, possibly because we’re in mid-September and we have no real idea what Zinedine Zidane has in mind.

Neville a bit harsh on Man United?

Manchester United squeezed out a victory over Leicester City, but I was struck by Gary Neville’s comments suggesting Ole Gunnar Solskjaer should get at least three more transfer windows “to clean up the trash in the dressing room, because there is trash in there.”

I have a lot of time for Neville, but I was wondering to whom he’s referring given a summer of significant departures. Of the guys who are most frequently targeted as “trash” (or “weeds,” to use another of his terms), Eric Bailly, Phil Jones and Marcos Rojo haven’t played this year. Fred has been on the pitch for 24 minutes, Nemanja Matic has started one game. Who does he mean? Paul Pogba? Anthony Martial? Juan Mata?

I’m also not sure about the comparisons with Jurgen Klopp’s Liverpool and how it took him time to produce. He reached a Europa League final after taking over in October and finished fourth the following year. Plus, he had a rather more credible résumé than Solskjaer did. By all means, give him time, but set credible targets and deadlines too.

Why Chelsea’s youth movement feels different

Chelsea’s 5-2 away win to Wolves brings their seasonal goals total to 11 and all of them scored by Academy graduates. Fikayo Tomori, Andreas Christensen, Tammy Abraham and Mason Mount all started at Molyneux and all look poised to play a big part in Chelsea’s season. With more homegrown players — Ruben Loftus-Cheek and Callum Hudson-Odoi, possibly Reece James too — set to return from injury, there could be as many as seven of them in Frank Lampard‘s XI at some point.

What sets this group apart, though, is the fact that apart from Christensen, who joined at 16, the others have all been affiliated with the club since before they were 10 years old. We often play fast and loose with the homegrown label since so many clubs (including Chelsea, of course) cherry-pick top talent from elsewhere at 16, stick them in the Academy for a year or two and then count them as “club-trained.” Technically, that’s true but with these guys, it’s different.

Dortmund look ready for Barcelona

“Bouncebackability” isn’t a real word, but it applies here. Borussia Dortmund had a whole international break to stew over the humiliating 3-1 defeat to newly promoted Union Berlin and with Kai Havertz and Bayer Leverkusen rolling into town, the potential for aftereffects was still high. Instead, we got one of the most dominating Dortmund performances in recent memory. At the attacking end, Marco Reus got his mojo back, Jadon Sancho popped up with his usual two assists and Paco Alcacer scored in his eighth consecutive game, including internationals.

Roll on, Barcelona, this Tuesday.

Odegaard continues to dazzle

Martin Odegaard made his international debut for Norway at 15 years of age and moved to Real Madrid six months later. Too much, too soon? It felt that way to many, given he failed to establish himself at youth level and later spent two years on loan. But players develop at different speeds, and having rocketed to the international stage, he was due a breather.

This year, he’s on loan at Real Sociedad, where he’s already scored twice and, on Saturday night against Atletico Madrid, was arguably man of the match. He doesn’t even turn 21 until December, but it feels as if this could be the year it all comes together for him. Watch this space.

Meanwhile, for Atletico, the 2-0 defeat reinforces what we already know: losing four or five starters in a summer is tricky to metabolize and there will be days like this when Diego Simeone’s tinkering leads nowhere.

Why Roberto Firmino is so unique

My former colleague Matthew Syed, writing in The Times, made the point that Roberto Firmino appears to have 360-degree vision, a bit like those owls, whose heads seem to swivel all the way around. It’s not hard to see why, given his performance in Liverpool’s 3-1 win over Newcastle.

Some see him as a prototype of a modern center-forward, the “false nine” who is more creator than finisher. That certainly fits with Firmino’s strengths though another, equally formidable strength is the intensity and intelligence of his pressing game. But I’m not sure he’s a prototype of anything.

Most of Europe’s top teams — from Barcelona to Manchester City, from Tottenham to Real Madrid, from Bayern to Juventus — still have a genuine centerforward rather than a “false nine” (to use another hipsterish term). In other words, Firmino is not a trend as much as he has a nearly unique, extremely rare skill set, which comes as a result of his past as an attacking midfielder.

Conte keeping expectations down at Inter

Antonio Conte is playing that age-old game straight out of Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War” — “when you are weak, appear strong and when you are strong, appear weak.” Following Inter’s third win on the bounce (one-nil against Udinese) he said, “We know the game. They build us up now to knock us down later. For us to win the title, other clubs would have to have disastrous seasons.”

– Schoenfeld: Romelu Lukaku talks about his Inter mission

It’s pretty transparent what he’s doing. And yes, Inter aren’t title favorites but he has the strike force he says he wanted (Romelu Lukaku, Lautaro Martinez, Alexis Sanchez), he has two of the best young midfielders in the league (Stefano Sensi and Nicolo Barella) and arguably the best center-back corps. There’s no reason to hide. Own the responsibility.

What needs to happen beyond #BlueGirl

The harrowing tale of Sahar Khodayari, the 29-year-old Iranian woman who set herself on fire (and later died from severe burns) after being sentenced to six months in prison for disguising herself as a man to attend a football match between her team, Esteghlal, and the UAE’s Al-Ain last March, shocked the world.

Like many such stories, it’s more complicated than it appears. There is no written law barring women from entering Iranian stadiums, so she was sentenced for not fully adhering to Islamic hijab laws and covering her head. But equally, since the Islamic revolution 40 years ago, women have been unofficially banned from watching men’s games with very few exceptions, like last November’s Asian Champions League final.

It shouldn’t take the tragic death of a vulnerable person for the world to take notice. The hashtag #BlueGirl is great to raise awareness but it can’t end there, particularly since there has been so much outrage and support for change, even in Iran.

FIFA President Gianni Infantino has pushed Iran on this matter before and the stock answer has been that the “infrastructure” was not yet in place to allow women in on a regular basis. (What infrastructure? Women’s toilets? Surely they have port-a-potties in Iran…) That argument is nonsense as evidenced by the fact that women have been allowed in before. FIFA’s statutes are very clear when it comes to equality and access. They have the power to withhold development money and suspend the Iranian FA.

It’s time to take action and, given the support such action would have within Iran — from much of the population and virtually the entire football world — it feels like a no-brainer.

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#Uncategorized #blog - marcotti Man City aren’t in crisis despite Norwich shock. PLUS: Bayern’s Bunde

[lightoverturesystem]

19th Alter

(Featuring a photo of him first fronting in 2015 and now)

Name: Lancelot Morgue

Type: Protector / Emotional Part (?) / Opposite Gender Alter

“Protector: Protector alters are common, there are three main types: ‘fight’ parts, persecutors and caretakers. The 'fight’ parts and persecutors are types of EP which have defensive intentions, despite their often self-destructive behaviors such as self-injury or eating disorder behaviors. Fight Protector Alter Identities in Dissociative Identity Disorder defend from threats & try to manage rage and anger, and avoid feelings of hurt, fear or shame. They focus on perceived threats, and find dependence, emotional needs and close relationships (attachment) threatening. Protectors may view themselves as a very tough child or teenager, a powerful animal, or a physically strong, adult male.” x 

“Opposite Gender Alters: Some alters may have a different gender to that of that body, for example a male alter in a physically female body. Opposite sex alters are usually more like a young girl’s idea of how a boy would be an actual boy, or a young boy’s idea of how a girl would be. Normally they have personality traits which associated with the gender of the opposite sex. A female alter in a male body may be very fearful or frightened, and a male alter in a female body may be very angry, feel physically strong, or be very brave. An alter may be have an opposite gender because of sexual abuse, for example a male alter does not have vagina, so will not fear being vaginally raped as the female body was. A female alter may be created in a male because that alter was forced to take on a female role in having sex with men.”

x 

“Emotional part: (EP) This is a dissociated part of the personality that holds essentially traumatic memories and dedicates itself to the survival of threat, and to the survival of the individual, as opposed to the ANP. Enduring child EP’s are usually fixated at the time of traumatization.“ An EP is a dissociated part of self which owns a memory that is emotional because it has not been processed to the ultimate form all memories eventually reach.” x

(To learn more about different types of alters and what each one means/does: http://traumadissociation.com/alters)

Front: Started fronting February 2015. Recognized July 2015. 


Age: 20’s


Timeline: He doesn’t have much of his own timeline, but insists he was raised by the She Wolf, which is a more recent detail, as of 10/23/17


Connection to the body: But also doesn’t quite feel this body is his. Kind of somewhere in between, just… there. 


Blended: Was blended with Morgue before he started fronting by himself, (hence why Lance’s last name is Morgue) and I believe Kyle, too. It is unknown if Erebus is a sub part of Lance, his own alter, used to blend with Erebus, or had traits of him and Erebus split off him

Relationships to others in the system: Had a fondness for Claire. Unknown relationship with Erebus. Acknowledges others in the system.

Subsystem: Unknown if he shares a subsystem with Erebus

About: “Woof woof, motherfucker.”

Lance was the first alter that came forward for a long time, long after I had dismissed having the possibility of DID because I didn’t know about cofronting as a possibility or that you didn’t know you had to lose time to have alters in general. (Later I would discover I do in fact occasionally lose time)

His presence was discovered through BDSM, a night when I was making love with an ex; she wanted me to be her dominant, and part of me seemed to naturally take the role despite before with both sexes being extremely submissive. I found myself as a top to not be comfortable with my body, with my name, with the level of femininity I was.

I experienced dysphoria for the first time.

I asked if she could call me Master Lance instead of my birth name. I had always said if I ever ended up having sons, the first would be named Lancelot.

I proposed getting a strap on for us. When we did, I found I was far more excited to have a penis than I was for a sexual encounter with her; I didn’t want to take it off. It gave me a level of comfortable, happy, right, that I didn’t know I lacked. I found myself using boxers, putting my hair up to hide it, doing anything I could to feel more masculine.

I had cofronted, or even fully fronted with Lance that night, and probably had long before then with her, as by then I had been her dom for awhile before that, just not officially.

Awhile after that woman and I went our separate ways, we met a man who we will call Q. While getting close to him, one day while walking around in the early morning hours of the day and discussing my feelings about this other side of me, I abruptly heard a masculine voice in my head that said, “You know I’m not going anywhere, right? You can’t get rid of me.”

I had alters before, I had heard their voices before. I reasoned that back then they were just imaginary friends. Because I enjoyed their company, I never tried to get rid of them to even realize I couldn’t. Somewhere, subconsciously, with all my other psychiatric issues going on besides this, I accepted I was “crazy.” I made peace with it.

For the next 7 years, I lied to myself, repressed them. We still don’t know what happened to the three that used to be, Vladimir, Jigsaw and Kevin.

This new voice terrified me, I had no explanation for it. I felt I was losing my mind; I had impulses to run in front of trucks on the highway, and I panicked. I just started running, with no place in mind. I ran blindly until I couldn’t anymore, overcome with adrenaline and derealization. Q helped me down from that panic, and shared with me he also experienced something similar with what he described fitting the profile of an alter.

Q was was the first person to grow intimate with Lance emotionally. Lance struggled with this intimacy, even if not sexual at first, and even with repressed homophobia that took 2 years or so to undo as much as we could.

Even though in the end, he ended up doing some terrible things to us, Q gave us as a system a place to be ourselves and change pronouns and names as necessary. We were allowed to switch freely in front of him, even if we didn’t still know this was an alter. We both thought that I was just feeling like a different version of myself, and not putting two and two together that this is exactly what DID is in our ignorance.

Eventually as he developed, Morgue started blending with him, making him a lot more violent than need be. Morgue first interacted with Q as well in a very intimate writing exercise, though Q never knew it, and I wouldn’t know until far later. Sometime into Lance’s development, we started experiencing gender dysphoria again on a new level of uncomfortable, and the need to find out what was going on with us arose. I googled things like ”feels like both girl and boy,” and “Feels like two people at the same time.” I came across the term Bigender, and since it is often described as feeling like two genders at once, I figured “Oh, that must be what I am experiencing,” I didn’t take into account the voice, the difference in not only gender, but full personality than my own.

It is to be noted that I may have been another host at the time named Claire. We aren’t sure who Claire really was, whether she is I now matured and changed under a different name, whether she was an ANP at one point, or whether we were constantly blended at one point and she integrated.

There is a lot going on…

Eventually, Lance fronted more and more than Claire, or myself, we aren’t sure who was who… And as this happened, the Bigender identity didn’t feel right anymore. We looked up “girls who feel like boys on the inside” and found what it meant to be a female-to-male (FTM) transgender person.

This felt more right.

Once I found this term and had a identity crisis and then decided transitioning would be right for me, I started going by Lance’s name, as it was a masculine name that felt right to a lot of me already. Once we came out, Lance seemed to all but disappear. He both no longer felt completely separate from me, and not present. We assumed he integrated. I have no idea what happened there, or who I was for a long time, once I found out I had alters.

From another tumblr, I found some great advice. This question asks, “if alters go dormant / reintegrate can they ever come back as active / unintegrated?”

The answer,

“Yes. It’s very common for alters to go dormant for a period of time that can range from days to years only to resurface later. Alters can also sometimes return if a previous integration that they were part of falls apart. That said, the latter is more likely to occur if the integration was very short lived and unstable. Longer, more successful integrations are more likely to hold, and if they do eventually fail, it will likely be because one or more entirely new alters became necessary. If it was thought that an alter integrated but there are few or no changes to support this and the alter later return as if nothing happened, it may be more likely that they simply went dormant.”

Given my feelings of feeling one with Lance before and those changes, given new alters became necessary in my life, it’s likely he integrated and that part fell apart.

A lot of my morals, ideas, and who I am now reject a lot of who Lance used to be. Lance never quite healed old wounds, he is a trauma holder apparently carrying something I need to address, and integrated too early.

When he first surfaced, he also was blended or used to be one with Erebus, the Black Wolf and an aggressive protector, who is now his own alter, it seems, split off him. Lance always felt akin to photo of wolves with a lot of arrows in their back. Wounded and lying there bleeding out to death. He carried great feelings of pain, and betrayal I could not discern.

I’m guessing this is what never got addressed.

He would send images of protecting Claire as an older brother type figure, as a wolf lying by her side and keeping her warm, even with all the arrows in his back. Perhaps this is Erebus’s pain, or they still share it, I do not know.

Since all this in 2015, Lance had disappeared but has recently, as of 10/24/17 - fronted again. He is a little less stable in who he is now and holding his front, especially in the daytime, is difficult. (He used to mainly front at night when he first surfaced)

He loves the band Murderdolls, swearing, wolves, Halloween, walking under a full moon, graveyards, and vampires. Lance is snarky and blunt in the way I am afraid to be. He will tell you what’s what without much hesitation, unless he is being polite for my sake.

He has a fear of caged and being restrained. He is secretly a sexual switch, and likes puppy play (but “with more dignity” aka being a wolf. 🙄)

It is really hard to gain Lance’s trust. He finds it amusing people still call me Lance because of using his name as a placeholder so long. He has a trademark smirk. He has no patience for psychological games people have often tried to pull on us.

Even though Lance has caused me a bit of trouble, and once nearly got us arrested…… I have a soft spot for him.

He doesn’t do his job the greatest, but he does it with a lot of love.

But he will never tell you that.

Pinterest Board [Here you can learn more about this alter!]

Faceplate source: Damien from Dream Daddy

Meet the rest of us!

#meet us #lance #tw suicide

[victorparker1-blog]

Investing Lessons Learned

There is an investing adage: “You either learn a lesson or make a profit; never both”. I have found this to be true for a better part of my investing years, but as I gain more experience, I am trying to reflect and learn lessons from all my trades – from both winners and losers.

This bull market in stocks has been ongoing for a decade and most investors have forgotten what it is like to lose money and come to witness heart-stopping moments when you suddenly see your envisioned future disappear. I first started  investing in individual stocks in 2008, just before the Global Financial Crisis and that was a great teacher. I try to remember the lessons I learned back then and continue to learn new ones everyday. Over the last couple of years, I decided to move a big portion of my portfolio into the precious metals and mining sector as I saw more value and the sector was hated by many. My reasoning is fairly simple: when the markets crash (and they will), most investors will seek safe havens, and there is no better safe haven than gold. There are a few other reasons, but that is the big one.

Over the last few quarters, I have been finding so many interesting prospects for investing in the sector, that I have overshot my initial target. The sector now makes 1/2 of my overall investing portfolio. Even with a few sales over the last few months, I have been hovering close to the 50% mark due to good returns. And the bull market in gold/silver mining stocks is just getting started!

While I look over the overall portfolio composition, I am being reminded of a lot of investing lessons from each trade. So, I decided that I will share some of these thoughts (including some random observations) here. Hopefully you will find the thoughts valuable & interesting.

“Buy what’s hated”

This is a different take on one of the most cliched saying “Buy when there is blood on the streets…”. Everyone says it. No one follows through. If a potential investment does not make your stomach churn and make you want to run for the hills, then it hasn’t hit rock-bottom yet. I started buying gold equities in late-2016. Even though I was about 6-9 months late to the party of catching the bottom, I am still ok with this. It is almost impossible to time the market perfectly. But as my friend Jay from FI Fighter likes to say: “You will never capture the bottom 10% or the top 10%….focus on riding the 80%”. Even today, there are plenty of investors who hate gold/silver and laugh at people who like to own “pet rocks”…which just tells me that I can continue to position appropriately before the next crisis.

“Rising tide lifts all boats”

When you get to participate in the early stages of a bull market, there is some leeway in picking the right stocks. Of course, you want to pick the best companies and hold them for a long time to grow your investment. But if you are early in a bull market, you can make a few mistakes. You can pick a few subpar companies and still come out on top. Lesson to learn here is to not mistake the bull market & liquidity flow to hubris in good stock picking abilities; or as Rick Rule puts it: “Don’t confuse bull market with brains”.

Speaking of liquidity flows…

“Earnings don’t move the overall market… focus on the central banks and focus on the movement of liquidity… most people in the market are looking for earnings and conventional measures. It’s liquidity that moves markets.” – Stanley Druckenmiller

I have found this to be extremely true. Liquidity flow is what determines the returns in stock markets. You can own the best company in the world, but if there’s not enough followers and funds aren’t pouring in, you will end up with a Value Trap. I have experienced this play out both in my favor and against me.

This worked in my favor when it comes to Kirkland Lake Gold (KL), my largest position today. The company has been firing on all cylinders with excellent management team (chaired by none other than Eric Sprott), world-class resources, low cost productions, fantastic financials, and the list goes on. In addition, the company is cross-listed strategically — first on TSX, then cross-listed on NYSE & ASX. You will be hard pressed to find a better company in the sector today, and I believe that the company is still undervalued. Every month, analysts continue to re-evaluate and re-estimate the resources and continue to raise the price target. About a week ago, it was deemed just the Fosterville project in Australia is worth $4B, while the whole company now trades at a $4B market cap. It also helps that KL holds one of the top spots in gold-focused ETFs — a crucial aspect of liquidity flows.

I haven’t been so lucky with some of my other speculative plays such as Cordoba Minerals (CDB.V) and Sarama Resources (SWA.V) — those positions have lost most of my invested capital and are deep in the red. Thankfully, I sized those positions appropriately (more on position sizing below) and the losses were manageable and covered by the gains in my winners.

Holding & letting your winners run: Sometimes, my emotions still try to get the best of me. When you have had a good run up and sitting on massive paper gains, it is tempting to sell and book those profits. Eric Sprott had a great thought on this. To paraphrase, what he recommends is not to look backwards and look at what a stock has achieved so far and sell too early instead of letting your winners run and grow; but rather to stay forward focused; i.e., can the said company do even better and grow going forward? Kyle Bass has a good quote on this: “The past doesn’t necessarily tell you how the future will play out”.

Momentum trades: A quick note on momentum. When there is massive liquidity flow into an asset class or stock, combined with my previous point of “Rising tide lifts all boats”, it is hard to evaluate and make a quick decision on some trades. Sometimes, you just need to “fire and then aim”. Due to momentum, the price gets away from you and you then suffer from Anchoring Bias (you stop and hope that the stock price will come back to that number you first started thinking of investing at, but it never does). This has been a reality for me over the last year especially in the crypto market and the marijuana market, although the momentum has died down recently. But again, this all comes down to liquidity flow — which is where most of the money can be made.

“Bear markets are the author of Bull markets and Bull Markets are the author of Bear Markets” – Rick Rule

This one seems pretty obvious, but most of us tend to forget this. Our biases get a better hold of us and think that the good times cannot end (and likewise, bad times will not end). The deeper and worse bear markets are, the better the following bull markets tend to be and vice versa. This is not only true in the resource and commodity sector, but applies as a general investing principle.

Position Sizing

“Even the best managers in the world have difficulty with sizing positions. Positioning is very correlated to conviction level. Look at risk management in totality. Position level and portfolio level. Have position level stops or targets. Portfolio wide have risk levels of down 2%, down 5% and down 10%. Down 10% is almost mandatory risk reduction across the board to live again another day. Think about enormity of correlations when positions are large.” – Kyle Bass

Position sizing is probably the most important aspect of investing. If your portfolio is not diversified appropriately and/or you do not size your positions to fit your risk tolerance, there will be lots of pain to endure. Position sizing may not be such a problem on missed opportunities or betting too small — for e.g., if you decided to take a gamble on something and in a matter of days, you end up with a multi-bagger on a small/tiny position. You are then only left wishing that you had a bigger investment and hope to size your position appropriately next time. But the flip side is extremely dangerous. If you analyze incorrectly and take too big a position, that can lead to portfolio annihilation. I got a first-hand lesson in this last year when I initiated a position in Novo Resources Inc (NVO.V). It was a promising play on gold exploration in Western Australia, but I didn’t position appropriately. I went with too big too soon instead of buying in smaller tranches just as the stock price peaked and then dropped by almost 50% over the next few weeks/months. The good news is that the stock has recovered quite a bit and I remain invested hoping to come out on top by staying patient.

For the record, following is my ‘Metals & Miners’ portfolio — which makes approx 50% of my total investable portfolio.

  Investing vs Speculation

This is something that I find most people will disagree with me. I have gotten into heated arguments on this topic in the past few months. What is investing and what is speculation? For most investors, it seems that buying stocks in large companies that have been around for a long time is “investing”. If you invest in small companies or new technologies (e.g., junior resource companies or cryptos) thats “speculation”. I vehemently disagree with this notion. There is no black-and-white when it comes to this and what is one person’s “speculation” can be another person’s “investing”. I think there is far more speculation involved in the broad markets these days than say something in junior resource sector.

Journal/Log all trades

I find that journaling/logging (blogging in my case) all trades about what I was thinking at a certain point in time is extremely valuable. The key to learning is to look back and reflect on the trades and how the thinking has evolved. Writing down the ideas and re-evaluating is a critical aspect during an investor’s journey.

These are some of the things I’ve been thinking about lately, and this is just barely scratching the surface. What are your thoughts on these investing lessons? Be sure to leave a comment below.

Full Disclosure: My full list of holdings is available here.

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from victorparker https://www.modestmoney.com/investing-lessons-learned/41107/