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aihoshiino · 2 months

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chapter 142 thoughts!

HEADS UP: In this review I discuss fictional depictions of sibling incest as well as a brief reference to both fictional and a real life suicide. As usual, feel free to skip if you're not in the right zone and I'll see you next time.

thank you for the kind words from everyone when i was still in the Slime Era of feeling sick lol. i'm like 80% back to full power now!

I'm gonna be totally up front and say I really think this is one of the worst chapters we've gotten in a while but here's the twist: it's not for the reasons you probably think!

We're following up basically right off the back of last chapter and immediately I am kind of mad at how shitty the series is continuing to do Miyako with regards to the movie arc. She was a total non-factor in the RBKN conflict and now that Aqua and Ruby are being pressured into doing something they have both verbalized that they don't want to do she's just like well gosh i feel complicated but what can i do :(. Having the setup almost 20 full chapters ago of Miyako expressing that she wants to step up and do more for Aqua and Ruby as their mother and then having her completely failing to intervene on their behalf here is just wild.

In general, the way everything is being set up to force this kiss feels so… well, forced. Even if Kaburagi (as the story says) insisted there be a kiss scene, there are a million ways to fake a kiss that doesn't involve actors actually kissing. Body doubles! Camera angles! Putting your thumbs in the way! Unless Kaburagi said "I want 20 full seconds of Kamiki sticking his tongue down Ai's throat center frame", there is absolutely no reason "a kiss scene" needs to mean "these two blood related twin sibling actors actually kiss". The whole thing is just so incredibly contrived.

And honestly? The fact that both Ruby and Aqua have expressed a 'no' and are being forced to do this anyway is the part of this chapter making me the most actively insane. It is absolutely mind boggling to have spent half of last chapter on a Miyako monologue about how immoral and unethical it is when people's ability to give informed and sincere consent is compromised by the entertainment industry and to then follow it with a whole chapter of basically every character we're supposed to like flaunting a total lack of respect for Aqua's comfort and consent in this regard, up to and including the completely insane scene of two adult women lecturing Aqua about how he isn't allowed to have boundaries. What the fuck is going on here!!!

This is especially frustrating because I actually really like a lot of things about the scene with Yoriko and Abiko… even if there's some stuff that really kind of broke me lol. Like uh, wasn't it a really huge plot point in Tokyo Blade that a mangaka couldn't be expected to turn out an entertaining theater script because those are two entirely different kinds of storytelling…??? But whatever.

Off the bat, I have really mixed-leaning-negative feelings about the reveal that the KamiAi romance scenes we'd gotten were entirely fictional. On the one hand, I actually feel pretty validated - I had guessed that the full-immersion-flashback presentation was a hint that we were being presented with a falsehood and it implicitly confirms something I've been saying from the start that 15 Year Lie's version of events has to be taken with a grain of salt, both because it contradicts known events and facts and because so many other people have interfered with it. Having that made textual and being able to confidently say it helps a lot in discussing what this means for the story.

But like… that means we wasted a whole bunch of time on shit that was made up and didn't matter! Like, thematically speaking, I think this is potentially interesting but I just keep getting stuck on the fact that we were given a super interesting scene finally fleshing out and giving us info about both a character and a relationship we've been absolutely starved for details about, only for the story to turn around not two chapters later and go "and my source? i made it the fuck up". It just totally dashes all the enthusiasm I was feeling and it also makes it way less rewarding to try and dig into what 15YL is doing when at any time, all of this potentially interesting character work could be revealed to be total piss in the wind.

Stepping back from that… in total isolation from everything else, I do think this talk with Abiko and Yoriko about what it means to write stories is interesting from a lot of angles. While I don't think these two are the 1-to-1 author avatars for Aka and Mengo fandom treats them as, they nevertheless clearly serve as reflections of the two's experiences and viewpoints about the manga industry and specific and the art of storytelling in general, allowing the story to play around in the quasi-metafictional space it does sometimes, where it uses in-universe fiction as a method of commenting on itself.

In that sense, I think Yoriko can be understood as speaking for Akasaka here and discussing some of his feelings as a storyteller of Oshi no Ko specifically. OnK has never made a secret of the fact that it's drawing on Akasaka's real experiences in the entertainment industry but perhaps less obvious to overseas fans is the inspiration it takes from real life issues in contemporary Japanese pop culture, too. Infamously, Akane's arc very transparent drew inspiration - if it wasn't reconstructed entirely - from the suicide of Hana Kimura, not even six full months after Kimura's death. When the anime aired, Kimura's surviving mother (imo, rightfully and deservedly) lambasted the series for using her daughter's death as the fodder for entertainment without consulting her surviving family. It wasn't even that she disagreed with what the series was saying - she just wanted someone to have some consideration.

This is what Yoriko means when she talks about the responsibility a writer has to their stories. When you write a piece of fiction as highly visible as Oshi no Ko currently is, it is your responsibility to consider the impact your words will have on the world. No, fiction does not directly impact the real world in a physical, tangible way but if we are careless with our stories, we can regurgitate and perpetuate dominant cultural narratives that very much do cause real, tangible harm to marginalized people. Hikaru Kamiki isn't a real person, but there are undoubtedly people in OnK's readerbase who see their experiences mirrored in him. Airi Himekawa isn't real, but people like her exist. Akane Kurokawa isn't real but Hana Kimura was.

This discussion also serves as an interesting warning to Aqua himself, though maybe not quite in the sense Yoriko intended. Aqua's revenge has always been something treated, in-universe, as a sort of fiction in of itself; Aqua calls it his 'revenge play' and his primary method of pursuing it is to become an actor. It's a retribution narrative about real people and Aqua is its author. But as Yoriko reminds him… stories can kill. Especially ones featuring real people. Aqua has been telling himself a comfortable lie for years that only he will be hurt by his own inevitable self destruction but Yoriko reminds him that he isn't the only person involved here and that he is inevitably going to cause great pain to the people he loves if her continues down this path.

That's why this chapter is so frustrating. This is all good, meaty character work with some great thematic overtones… and it's all in service of contriving this scenario where Aqua has no choice but to tongue his sister on camera and for some reason, nobody is pointing out the million and one alternatives to this deranged scenario.

But anyway. Enough beating around the bush: let's talk about That Scene. And despite what everything I've said this post might lead you to believe… I actually really like it.

I don't know exactly what activated to make her go sicko mode but Mengo has been really on fucking fire with her art on the series lately. It really jumped out to me in 137 but she's honestly been cooking since the very start of the movie arc. It stands out especially strongly in Aqua and Ruby's talk on the balcony in ways I really vibed with. The whole scene feels like Ruby's shoujo brainrot and the cold reality of what she's tiptoeing around suggesting to Aqua are battling out for dominance over the framing. Ruby's stubbornness is such a force to be reckoned with that it almost wins entirely but there are moments where the lens cracks and we see things as they are. Aqua's discomfort practically radiates off the page this entire conversation.

Not only that but… jesus christ, Ruby. Just look at how she's framed when she first enters the scene.

That oppressive silhouette, her shaded eyes and that sinister smile… I probably don't need to tell you that's NOT how you typically frame a romantic heroine. She honestly almost looks more like a villain.

But Ruby quickly reasserts control over the framing. Or rather, what she's suggesting is such a sugary shoujo fantasy, the framing has no other option but to comply. At last, Ruby steps out of the shallow channel of plausible deniability and puts into concrete words what she has been thinking and longing for these last twenty chapters: for her to retake her role as Sarina Tendoji and for Aqua, in turn, to play Gorou for her once again. More than that - she pushes him for a concrete response to her love at last, not as Ruby but as Sarina; not only does the paneling repeatedly cover the eye with her star but in the final panel where she unambiguously propositions Aqua, the star is completely gone. This is what Ruby is offering: to completely sever her connection to Ai and the new life she has built on that foundation and to return to being Sarina, if that is what the doctor she loves wants.

This is SUCH an incredibly effective scene. It's excellently done and the art is fantastic. It finally draws out and makes explicit the underlying disconcerting subtext that has been swimming under the twins' relationship since 123. It works fantastically well… in isolation. But when taken into the context of the rest of the story it just feels so… unearned.

For the last 20 chapters, we have had absolutely no serious insight into Ruby's feelings re: the reveal of Gorou's new identity as Aqua. We didn't see her grapple with it or have to adjust to it at all. It was like a switch flipped in her brain and she was suddenly a 2010s fanservice imouto splooging about her oniichan. Her interiority in this regard is completely absent. Whenever the subject is addressed at all, it is made into a joke with Ruby as the punchline. There has been no serious build up to this moment or any meaningful time spent on Ruby's feelings about Aqua and as such, being asked to take it seriously now feels so incredibly jarring.

I've said this over and over in other places but I'll make this clear here: the handling of Ruby's feelings is not bad because Incest Is Morally Bad or whatever. At the end of the day, OnK is fiction and fiction is a space that allows us to explore ideas and scenarios that would be unpleasant, dangerous or even downright immoral to try and interrogate in real life with real people. Not only that, but AQRB's situation is so far removed from anything any real person could experience there's very little risk of it acting as a harmful reflection of a real person's life. But because OnK had the space to do just about anything with this idea, I'm so incredibly baffled that it chose to do all of nothing. This is a plot point that has been cooking since the literal first chapter of the entire series and now, just under four years and over 140 chapters past our starting point… and this is the best Akasaka can do? Dated brocon humor that reduces Ruby to a shallow gag character, denying her the opportunity to have deeper, more complex and ugly feelings and denying her the respect of examining those feelings with honesty?

It sucks. This whole thing really sucks. As someone who loves Ruby so, so much… this really just feels like an insulting way to have handled what should have been one of the most interesting and engaging parts of her series long arc.

I do think this chapter is the beginning of the end of AquRuby's time in the endgame couple race, if it was ever seriously in the running to begin with. Ruby embracing Aqua with a proposition in those final two panels echoes Akane doing the same in chapter 72 and the fact that this cliffhanger ends on the proposition and not a kiss implies to me, structurally speaking, that we are heading for a rejection. On top of that, we're pretty far away from the manga's ending still and Kana's romantic resolution with Aqua hasn't gotten its time to shine. All those factors together makes me feel pretty certain that this is the final nail in the coffin and we're just waiting to see how Aka sticks the landing.

After all - Ruby is asking for his response as Sarina. And if this is Sarina asking for his love one last time… we already know how Gorou's going to respond.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #chapter reviews

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rustys-lodge · 11 months

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I'll do it for you

Request by : anon : Can you write a sis fic where she's struggling with her mental health (ie: has depression and anxiety) and the brothers help her through it, motivating her, making sure she's eating and like a common thing with depression is people not brushing their hair so maybe sam/dean does it for them to make them feel better and just general nice comforting things? Thanks xoxo

Warnings : i guess none other than the ones in the request ? because as always i'm bad at this.

A/N : I wrote this in half an hour. I hope it's not too terrible. Please please let me know if you liked it, It helps me write ❤ Also thank you to that anon that asked me about this again lol

"Good morning, kiddo."

a soft breeze and a kiss on the cheek are enough for you to open your eyes. You shift a little in your bed to meet your brother's eyes, forcing a little smile on your lips and Dean takes that as an answer.

"How'd you sleep ?" In his usual neutral tone, Dean raises his voice a bit, acting as normal as possible to not overwhelm you. Or maybe to not overwhelm himself. Dean was known for his absolute denial of problems...That didn't make him any less of a good brother, though.

"Sammy and i have a case up in red cloud." Dean starts and you discreetly breathe a long sigh out, already knowing what he was going to say. "It's not too far. Wanna come ?"

You raise your head up, pretending to be thinking about it. "Umm" You wait a bit longer. "Noo, i think i'm going to stay here." You respond, finally. "Since it's not too far, i'll just do the researching here."

Dean's smile quickly melts into a disapproving pout. And your heart shatters. "it's okay." His tone suddenly disappears and he is almost inaudible, causing your heart to break even more.

You knew he didn't mean to make you feel guilty. But you did. You felt reeeally g-

"No-n-n-n-no." You look up, surprised when you realize your vision is blurry. You blink the tears away. Before you have the time to react, Dean jumps to your side, sitting close enough to you to wrap his hand around your upper body. "it's okay, you don't have to force yourself."

You breathe heavily in an attempt to force the lump in your throat down, only encouraging it to grow. So you bite down on your lower lip, dropping your gaze in the process to avoid the embarassement of Dean having to wipe the tears away and doing all that sweet stuff he usually has to do, whispering in your ear and kissing your forehead.

"It's okay." He repeats, emphasizing the okay, to make sure you heard him. But you did.

"Good morning, honey."

Sam snaps you out of your thoughts, appearing into view when he enters your room, two plates

Two plates ? Your heart skips a beat. And apparently it showed on your face because Sam's lips contorted backwards in annoyance.

"One's for me, one's for you" Sam responds and you feel relief flowing through your body.

"Is it okay if i don't eat right now ?" You ask and he responds with a head shake.

"I'm sorry, honey. But no."

You sigh. You couldn't argue, though. When both of them were aroud there was no room for arguing. Or compromises. because in reality you had already used all your cards, leaving you with no choice.

But you turn to Dean either way, whose gaze turns to Sam. "Wait- what about me ?"

"Dean, bring your own plate."

You chuckle, ready to start bargaining but he sternly spits out a No, causing a pout to take form. And you shift backward into your bed, stopping when you realized Sam was setting the food away. "Didn't you say i can't ea-"

"You wish." Sam walks towards you, taking Dean's place beside you. "Let's brush that hair of yours first. Then you go wash up. Then we eat. Now turn around, honey."

You turn around, your back facing Sam. "Let me know if i hurt you."

"Okay" You nod, like always. But Sam never hurt you. He always carefully assembles every strand of your hair before tightening his hold on half of it. And he brushes, very gently. You sometimes even wondered if the brush bristles reached the inner part of your hair. But it always does. Because after he's done going through every angle and every part, he runs his fingers through it to make sure he didn't miss any part.

After that he sets down the brush on the table and take hold of your face, forcing it around gently to plant a kiss on it.

You smile as your face is squished in between Sam's hand and lips. Lucky you, am i right ? Lucky you, indeed.

---

I hope yall enjoyed this . ❤❤❤🌹🌹🌹

#winchester sister #little winchester #dean winchester x sister!reader #sam winchester x sister!reader #dean winchester x sister #sam winchester x sister #sister!reader

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limeade-l3sbian · 27 days

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can I ask you this?? I kind of feel like I'm being selfish but also I don't really so idk idk I need someone to judge me.

I am a lesbian and my parents don't know that. I am 80 percent sure they won't accept me and the 20 percent is the problem. I am not scared that my family will not accept me or even hate me or kick me out of the house, I was thinking about this happening the same way i thought about graduating, at this point I am more than ready. I actually want that and I am scared of coming out because what if they accept me?? them being homophobic to me would be this solid reason to just leave and never talk to them again but if they are not? i wouldn't have this reason??

and if I left without it I would feel like I am an asshole who treats their parents like shit because I know that things we have between us can be fixed if I try and if we all try but I just don't want it to be fixed. because. I don't want to do all that. it's exhausting and I just want to leave and be my own person since then. without them. idk!!! maybe I am just an edgy teen. but like!!!!! I don't want to fix their shit!! I understand why my mom says and does shit but!!! I don't want to help her fix it!!!! why would I?? she's not even trying herself??? ugh I don't know

funny thing is that maybe half a year ago I came to your inbox to talk about how I always forgive my mother for being an asshole to me and here I am now...

1/3

I just don't want it to be fixed. because. I don't want to do all that. it's exhausting and I just want to leave and be my own person since then. without them. I understand why my mom says and does shit but!!! I don't want to help her fix it!!!! why would I?? she's not even trying herself???

I think you know that it can't be fixed. I remember you. Because anytime people talk about conflicting relationships with their mothers, it resonates with me lol. I don't presume to know your mother, but I know that a compromised foundation cannot be fixed alone.

I think there is a hope of change. The belief that perhaps you have not given the whole of your efforts (you have). To be exhausted implies great effort. It's not your job to fix your mom or your dad. It's not your job to undo generational ignorance. You're a teenager, starting your life and preparing to enter the world as a lesbian woman. Because that's who you are, and what a disrespect it would be to clip your own wings to stay behind.

Again, I don't presume to know your parents. I only know what you've told me. You're not selfish, anon. You are, hypothetically, asking to be allowed to be who you are and YOU feel like YOU are the selfish one here? Why is your own sense of peace and progress being held hostage?

You will be amazed by the freedom of leaving behind the comfort of disfunction. It will be scary, it will be overwhelming and you may want to run back because at least you know how to maneuver through that disfunction. But it gets easier, and it gets better, and you get happier, and you realize all the things that you deserved and desired were just outside your door.

You are NOT selfish, anon.

#ask

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mamamittens · 6 months

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Guestimating the overall length of the Moby Dick would be easier if the very anatomy of the ship didn't change every time we see it istg.

Bad math and more than the required assumptions to make an ass out of you, me, and everyone in the Blues combined.

See this very clear picture that implies we could possibly determine the size of this specific section my rough estimate based off of Whitebeard's height (divided down for his thighs assuming the seat is made to seat him comfortably sitting up, which means roughly the length of his thighs)? I'd be willing to assume it's about the length of the boxes along the side for ease of measurement. Also, side note, horrible stairs for everyone, they're not even for Whitebeard's feet and RIP everyone else's stride on these damn things.

A fucking safety hazard is what it is.

Anyway! Assuming quite a lot, we could theoretically measure out this one section as between the rigging for two masts, which is great! Fantastic! How many are there again?

4? Are we counting the one on the very back? No? Cool, let's just say 3. The ship is (roughly) divided into 4 parts. So, where's the even rigging section...

Not in this one? The railing isn't flat between two rigging sections on an even level. Okay, maybe another one?

Aha! It's here (apparently)! Odd... Big change for a ship... I'm a bit concerned ngl. Especially since that earlier scene is closer to the (unfortunate) destruction of the ship. There's no way they changed a whole ass mast/rigging/railing set up in a few months. They coated it between them and Marineford but I imagine restructuring the the vessel like that would take a lot longer and would be very ill advised all around.

Not to mention the whole ship is different, right down to the coloring. The first one is clearly newer...

Anyway! 6 green boxes (6 Whitebeard thighs, assuming that's 1/4 his height of 666 cm... 166.5 cm or 5 feet 5 inches... Sounds really short... Ah, his ass, right. Forgot to add his ass... Let's round it up to 6 feet to make it even!) So that's... 36 feet for 1/4 of the ship! Assuming our rough as hell math is correct that's 144 feet long of ship!

... 144 feet long? Only that much???

That... That can't be right.

That's like, a yacht?!

The Titanic was 882 feet and 9 inches. Six Moby Dicks is equivalent to one Titanic!

And that ship had a max capacity of 3,547 normal ass sized humans. Not over a thousand, incredibly varied but generally quite tall humans/fishmen/whatever else. With modern amenities taking up space but also making it more efficient, you'd think the Moby Dick would need to be at least a third of the size, maybe two thirds to accommodate Whitebeard alone traveling hither and yon on his own damn ship without compromising the ship's weight distribution or general stability.

This ship is meant to be massive but two and a half count fit across a football field, whale nose to whale ass!

I know I'm bad at math but Jesus that's bad lmao, adjusting the green boxes to 8 would just make the ship 192 feet long. Which isn't much better if I'm being honest.

What a fucking nightmare lol, here's to hoping someone better at maths and nautical knowledge one day finds a better answer than mine.

#mittens is losing it #critically bad math skills #a lot of assumptions being made here ngl #ships are complicated okay #and i just wanna KNOW HOW DAMN BIG THIS SHIP IS SUPPOSED TO BE

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twogyuu · 1 year

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Hello I need some Vernon fics 😭😭😭 any recommendations 🥹

Hello!

Don't worry! I gotchu! Idk what genre you're into so I will include multiple! Unfortunately, not many ppl write for him (at least really long fics/series which is what I like to read!) from my experience 😭 I do apologize in advance if you've read most of them already OP!

Angst:

Oh, Where Did the Party Go? by @dropsofletters - by far my favorite Vernon piece to ever exist! 😭💔 The plot, the development, the side characters - UGH SO GOOD 👌🏻 Left me in some serious pain and contemplation of life for three days after I read it lol. Please be prepared for some emotional compromise :')

Pinky Promise by @xddaengx - on the shorter side, hurt/comfort, not really romantic since Vernon is like OC's "guardian angel" in a sense. Again . . . a bittersweet ending . . . uhhh lol. You were warned :')

Edit!! Adding By Hook and Cross by @kabira - I haven't finished it yet, but I've heard good things about it!

Fluff:

On Love, Friendship, and Jane Austen by @suhnshinehaos - F2L, they pine a lot lol, but overall very sweet! It was a very satisfying fic hahaha

Every Page is Empty by @neonun-au - I really love mads writing in general!!! It's very heart fluttering and sometimes feels ethereal(?) when you dive into OC's thoughts/emotions if that makes any sense lol. This one is also on the shorter side but definitely worth it!

Sure by @yoongimingyu - Another F2L, series there's a little smut at the end, but their mutual pining is cute. Idk what to call it since it's not exactly fluff, but it's not exactly angst either? It didn't hurt as much as the one's listed under angst, but definitely heart fluttering and you just really, really want them to get together 😭

I'm still in the process of working through their masterlists lol, but I also do really enjoy work from @gamerwoo, @viastro, @hansolmates, @vernblr, @wooahaes, and @wonwoonlight!

I hope this helps and that you enjoy them as much as I did!! Cheers and happy reading 💙

#twogyuu:recs #m: svt chs

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rainbowtvz · 2 months

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Fire and balance for the self ship Wizard101 ask game!!!

@pr0minenceburn

fire;

sal: music! and art. both listening to/looking at and making it. we've made plans to have a jam session together when we can. and I also found a nice violin that i'd love to get my hands on and i think he wants to gift it to me. and for art, he's not the best at drawing but he definitely loves watching me do so, and paint. it feels like i'm bearing my soul to him and he takes extra care of it for me when i do :3

absynthe: definitely art, food, and gardening, more so the latter two. absynthe and i are both artists so we take turns showing each other what we've drawn, but we definitely connect more over gardening and our love of food :3. she has a big green thumb and while i'm not an expert i'm pretty good at growing stuff myself. i'm always in awe at how simple and easy she makes it all look lol. and as for food, well we're both foodies and the way to someones heart is through their stomach, supposedly.

johnny: music as well as punk culture and sticking it to the man. the way we approach this has similarities as well as differences, since he's more selfish and in it for revenge, as well as just being anti-corpo in general. wheras i am more concerned about fighting for the underdog, serving justice, and the environment and the future of the planet. we get into arguments about it sometimes because of how strongly we feel about our stances.

eddie: eddie and i are practically twinsies in the things we're both passionate about, ranging from music, alt culture, nerd culture, to both being queer in the 80s. like we have so much in common that sometimes we finish each others jokes.

john: john and i are still getting to know each other and learning how to navigate our relationship but we are both extremely passionate in our own ways, just in very different directions. we both care so much about doing the right thing. the way it manifests in our words and actions couldn't be more night and day though. it makes it tough to compromise and meet each other half way but true love isn't overnight and it takes work.

balance ;

sal: sal is the introvert and down to earth go with the flow guy to me ambivert head in the clouds worrier self. where my weaknesses lie he steps in to provide strength and vice versa. of course i don't have to go it alone and neither does he because i am also dating absynthe. and while he's not, they're still good friends.

absynthe: she and i are definitely two peas in a pod! it's hard to find differences between us in a way that we balance each other out. i guess it's more her energy in general vs mine? or the way we approach and handle things. she's more shy and introverted than i am, but not exactly like sal is. sal is way more reserved and harder to open up to others. so i guess i'm sort of a bridge between them and that world since i'm an ambivert. i love being social when i am in my comfort zone, but i have to go home and recharge too. and i always know that she's my safe person. i can be around her even when i'm low on social battery.

johnny: johnny has energy for days. like he is just. so extremely extroverted. and he's an asshole. but he takes care of the social and people aspect when i can't and he barely complains about it because he knows that i need breaks from dealing with others. it's more of a snarky complaint anyway because he likes to tease me and get me riled up. it's fun for him. he fills in gaps that i have, knowingly or not, and i keep him grounded and level headed. i guess it's sort of a moirailegence (or however u spell that) in terms of what a pale relationship is from h.omestuck lol. but definitely not platonic. far from it. when he's out of line i bring him back down to earth and calm him and he does the same for me when i end up splitting. he knows he can't get this kind of care and compassion anywhere else and while things can be tumultuous between us, what we feel for each other is real and worth all the headaches, and the heart palpitations.

eddie: eddie is also extroverted! but in a fake it til you make it way. and he's so good at it. it has me in awe. he's my inspiration and muse and my safe person, my home away from home. and i'm his safe space, the keeper of all his secrets and worries, and his voice of reason. i'm also his idea guy and second opinion that he goes for when he wants to pen up a new song or bring something new to the dnd table. the relationship between us is very easy going and light hearted, which is something we both need what with everything going on in hawkins :3. no matter where he goes or what trouble he gets into he can always come back home to me, and that's only part of why he loves me.

john: john is the business man. whether it's clean or dirty. whether it's his profession, past, or how he engages in relationships. his love language is acts of devotion and domesticity. he takes care of the spiders, of the things i can't engage with without becoming squeamish or nauseated, he takes care of me when i am fatigued, in pain, and/or sick. he takes care of me when i break down and he does it without complaint, because his love is unconditional, and it is never transactional between us, at least on his end. i always feel guilty that he does so much for me without even having to ask him and try to give back as much as i can, and he tries to tell me it's not necessary but i do it anyway. my love language is acts of generosity and physical affection. so i get him gifts that make me think of him or remind me of him, whether it's bought, free, or handmade. i make sure he's taken care of as well when he needs it. whether it's learning how to patch him or massage him when he's sore and hurting, or forcing him to take a break and let me take care of him. i remind him that i'm there for him every time i kiss him or run a hand through his hair, when i hold him, when we listen to each other's heart beat. we're sort of a shaky team when it comes to matters not heart related, but we're still a team.

#i kinda dont want to answer balance bc i just woke up n i dont have the spoons BUT ILL TRY #I HAVENT DECIDED IF MY S/I IN CYBERPUNK IS A V OR NOT BUT IM LEANING TOWARDS THE FORMER #i fele like im answering it wrong also but shhh take it. take the lore #selfship #safeship #selfshipper #selfshipping #safeshipper #safeshipping #sal fisher x s/i #eddie munson x s/i #john wick x s/i #johnny silverhand x s/i #if u dont wanna see this then block one of the above tags

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softpine · 10 months

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is this the closest we’ve gotten to seeing brandi’s ideas for a post-apocalyptic story/au? my ass will happily wait for this treat and take these crumbs yes, please, and thank you 🍞🐜 (only if ur comfortable with sharing more!!)

aww no i'm sorry it's not the apocalypse au 😭 however that's always in the back of my mind and i have a document i keep adding ideas to whenever i think of things. i still plan on doing a mini story for that someday!! the thing i'm working on right now is just a silly one-off. but since you were so excited and nice i'll give you some spoilers hehe

edit: the fact i said "some" spoilers and then proceeded to basically share my whole outline for the first two chapters is such a brandi move. sorry i'm like this

i'm going the last of us route by not having typical back-from-the-dead zombies and instead they're infected humans, but in this case it's going to be something similar to mad cow disease in that it originates in livestock and can be transmitted to humans (i'm using allllllll of these words colloquially for brevity, just know this is a massive oversimplification), where it stays dormant until it's far too late to be treated because the brain has already been compromised. the first symptoms are confusion, then problems with emotional regulation, dementia, and finally violence & insatiable hunger. however, these people don't possess inhuman strength or speed, though it may seem that way because they're working with unlimited adrenaline, so they're not slowed down by pain or fear. but you have a fighting chance! and any way that you can kill a normal human, you can also kill an infected person. it just might take longer. essentially i want it to be grounded in reality, mimicking the way a real disease spreads and mutates rather than going fully into video game-y horror (i love that stuff too, but it's not the story i feel like telling in a post-covid world lol. i'm much more interested in seeing how humans can survive and rebuild in the face of unimaginable chaos and tragedy!). the other important thing to note is that the disease doesn't have a 100% transmission rate. it's the same as if you had the flu and coughed in 100 people's faces, only a fraction of them would actually get sick. so if you get bitten by someone with the disease, it's not 100% certain you will be infected. so there is no singular special immune person, it's just a matter of chance & your immune system.

in the early days, this mysterious illness is only happening in remote areas with low human populations. meat that's been properly cooked & pasteurized dairy can't transmit the disease, so people in cities are generally safe, but improper handling of food, poor working conditions, factory farm employees, traveling, etc. all contribute to the spread of disease. though the illness can't be treated, it's easy to contain in the beginning. patients are restrained/sedated when they become violent and eventually they die (once the brain is completely taken by infection, the body dies too). however as the number of infected people grows, it becomes harder to hold everyone in basic hospitals. sanatoriums start popping up to study the disease and keep it quarantined. this is around the time where the story actually starts.

mikaela was a pediatric nurse at the hospital, but she was moved to one of these sanatoriums a few months ago. however, she's 20 weeks pregnant (with sadie) and she's nervous about continuing to work in a high risk environment. she asks to be moved back, but the hospital denies her request. that's how she knows shit is really hitting the fan. she warns everyone she cares about that something big is happening, but that's not how the disease is being reported on by the media, so no one really takes her seriously. and then the big outbreak happens.

there's a whole backstory to that but i'll skip it for now fjskjds the relevant part is that mikaela escapes unharmed and returns home to gather her family up. danny, casper (home from college for thanksgiving break), and asa (spent the weekend with his dad) are already there. mikaela is scared to stay there because it's a farm; they have cows, chickens, pigs, etc. and they still don't know exactly how the disease is transmitted. so she loads everyone into casper's truck (there's less space, but it's better for off-roading). on the way out, asa opens all the gates so the animals can have a chance at living even though he knows it's probably not a good idea. they desperately try to get a hold of caroline and beth, but the phone lines are dead, so they leave a note saying they've gone to their shared vacation cabin up north.

ummm and this is extremely long already but we haven't even gotten to the interesting part yet so.... they make it half way to the cabin before night falls. they don't want to run out of gas at night (and it's late fall, so pretty cold). so they stop in an area that's completely free of people. asa says he knows how to make a fire so they won't waste gas running the car for heat. casper goes with him for protection (he's buff college casper, not scrawny teenage casper fjksjd) to find wood. danny doesn't think they have anything to worry about because asa spends his days in the wilderness already, and he assumes mikaela is just being overly cautious because she's pregnant. so he lets them go.

okay so casper and asa stumble upon a small, seemingly unoccupied hunting cabin. they think this will be perfect to stay in for the night. but when they open the door, they see a horrifying sight: a man sitting in complete darkness, chewing on a freshly dead deer. the man lunges at them, managing to grab asa and bite his thumb clean off along with a chunk of his palm, before casper tackles him to the ground. he manages to immobilize him, but he's badly bitten on the neck in the process. it takes all his strength to just hold the man down, let alone fight back, so asa knows he has to do something. he finds a rifle in a bag that the man must've been carrying earlier, before the sickness set in, and he tries to shoot him in the head with it, but since he's never even held a gun before, he misses and it grazes casper's arm. he has to shoot two more times before he hits his target and the man stops moving. buuuut the sound of all the gunshots has attracted many others; they can hear them approaching in the distance. casper is in no state to move, already starting to bleed out from the wound on his neck (the accidental gunshot certainly didn't help), so asa does the only thing he can do; he leaves the gun with casper and starts yelling to attract the hoard's attention while he runs away from the cabin. he hopes danny and mikaela have heard the gunshots too and will find casper. he leads the infected further into the woods. on instinct, he tries to climb a tree to escape, but his right hand is effectively useless and he's in way too much pain to attempt it. he thinks he'll most likely die here, until he hears a distinctly human, non-infected voice shouting at him to follow his voice .... and that's where i'll leave it :D

#anonymous #asks #nonsims #brandi answers

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stripesafterdeath · 3 months

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stream of consciousness thoughts wrt gender identity and my adulthood struggles (yap warning)

i don't really think enough about how my gender identity has affected my approach to work or college, but it's hard to really want to be myself in professional settings and i feel like i have to compromise either my mental health or my odds of being hired/accepted whenever i deal with such settings. i feel as though this is the baseline struggle that trans/nonbinary people deal with in any professional setting and i just think that sucks a lot

i just hate it because it also discourages me from the get-go when it comes to stuff like this. i'm avoidant of applying for jobs for a number of reasons; anxiety being a big one, obviously, but also just. having to make that choice of, oh, do i be honest about who i am, or do i just pretend to be someone i'm not? and usually i choose the latter, and it hurts. it sucks. and it makes me not want to keep trying, especially when i just get rejected anyway lol

and also, like. idealizing within a harsh reality sucks but. god i wish i could just exist as myself and not have it be questioned or shamed. by my family, by strangers. why is that so hard? why does it have to affect every aspect of my life? social, financial, work, education, hobbies. everything

i know i'm not saying anything particularly groundbreaking here. i just don't understand all the hate in the world in general, honestly. it makes me nauseous, and i feel very small sometimes. even as someone who lives in a more "accepting" state. hell, that's not even particularly comforting when i think about people in more conservative states. i'm very empathetic and it's hard to just count my blessings when i know so many people can hardly count any

it doesn't help that i have my mom's hyper-conservative boyfriend living with us at all times, watching far right pundits on his out-loud phone speaker and misgendering me (and my sister) constantly. he's also very loud and never admits when he's wrong or has messed up. it's like my mom saw that we lived in a good state for LGBT people and said "i should bring a loud, obnoxious, pigheaded, right-wing jackass into my house with two trans kids so that they don't get too comfortable." like. ok. thanks. i can't even begin to think about the impact this guy has to have had on my mental health over the many years he's been here

all of this compounds with the fact that he's the only one with a job, though. my mom can't work because of a hand injury, and me and my sister struggle to even find our place in this society, let alone find a consistent job. for me this is further compounded by my slew of mental illnesses. and it all gets so overwhelming whenever i think of any sort of adulthood stuff. i don't really know how to contend with all of this, and then i think about how many people have it so, so much worse than me. and it's so easy to spiral into despair from there

i guess you really do just have to count your blessings sometimes. sometimes those blessings are just friends you met through mutual interests online or something. i know i can be really bad at reaching out to y'all sometimes but i promise i care about you guys. i wish i could show it better. everything's just so stressful. thanks for reading my incessant yapping i suppose

#stripesafterthoughts #gender #nonbinary #trans #venting

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butts-bouncing-on-the-beltway · 6 months

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hey, feel completely free to discard this question if you just don't have the space to answer it--i am aware shit is Busy For You right now lol. i just wanted to ask you specifically because you're the only person on tumblr i follow who has expressed, like... similar restrictions to what i have? similar awareness of what's going on in the world and feelings about it? but no pressure to respond.

that said, you've spoken a lot about being very restricted and limited in your community engagement due to COVID, and like... i'm struggling with that right now. i haven't been able to Leave The House And Engage In Community in actual years at this point, because even with reaching out beforehand and requesting things change, no community-building groups in my area are like... actually willing to even baseline require masking at all, and i'm... very unsafe in those situations due to medical problems, you know how it is. i'm struggling with being able to find community at all, much less figure out how i can actually materially help and build community. i've tried to organize my own structures for building friendships and community support networks in spaces where i run filters, require universal masking, etc, and what has happened is that... nobody shows up, no matter how intensely i try to do outreach about it. it seems like the generally accepted notion, especially in anarchist social circles around here, is that people/structures that require COVID precautions are... overreacting, limiting other people's freedoms, and generally untrustworthy as community.

i just wanted to ask, as someone who's faced similar limitations, do you have like... any advice for how to navigate this and actually contribute to building strong communities and support networks without putting myself and my loved ones in danger? i'm exhausted, i'm burnt out all the time, and i'm pretty much entirely isolated from anyone other than a small handful of similarly-isolated people. i want to Have Support Networks and i also want to do my part to make the world a better place. but i've been struggling for years now and i keep failing in ways i never did pre-COVID. whenever i see posts talking about how the only way to truly make a difference and have support networks yourself is to get offline and engage in your local community, i *agree*, but i feel infinite frustration with the fact that i *keep trying* and it feels like i'm just expected to expose myself + my loved ones to the risk of early death and further disability as the tradeoff for that.

i hope this wasn't too much for your inbox, and again, please don't feel like you have to answer this if you don't have time/energy/space, i hope your move is going well and that you're able to take some time for relaxation and rest!

Hey Anon,

I feel your pain, I really do. And I'm not going to try and pretend that the answer I'm about to give you is a fair or just one at all.

I have made peace with the reality that I cannot control what others do, I can only control my own decisions and actions. What this tends to end up looking like for me is making really careful, considered decisions about my own personal level of risk and protection, trying to utilize pritective mechanisms that I have control over like respirators and santization procedures, home and vehicle air filtration, etc.

Rather than trying to start new spaces from scratch, I have spent time slowly and gently pushing for stronger protective measures within the spaces that already exist and which I engage with. The more I get to know the people I'm collaborating with on projects, the more likely they are to be responsive when I point out that my safety is compromised by lack of COVID protective measures. By building off my relationships with people to make those asks, it feels more doable for people to accept them from me. People don't like making changes for strangers, but they'll often make much larger accommodations for people they know and have grown comfortable with.

I recognize that all of this puts the weight of accommodation on you, as the disabled person. And that isn't fair or right. I'm not answering this question based on what I think SHOULD be true, but rather based on what has been effective for me in the past. It sounds like you're someone who already puts a lot of energy into your efforts to engage with your community, so maybe having that energy be used in different ways will yield results that feel less exhausting to you.

I want to validate up front that this does sometimes mean missing out on events, campaigns, and projects I would otherwise have loved to be a part of because I can't always justify the exposure risks. It also means sometimes having difficult conversations with people I know who have different value judgements about COVID precautions. It can be important to be honest with yourself about your level of risk, your realistic amount of control over that risk, and how much you want to let those factors influence and restrict your life.

We're all human, and we need community as much as anything else in our life. It can be exhausting and alienating to constantly feel as though the world is an unsafe place for you to exist. Unfortunately, sometimes the only remedy to that is to stubbornly insist on existing with love and fire and persistence.

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exeggcute · 4 months

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hey I have messaged you before because we both have boneitus but I wanted to ask - how severe has the immune compromise from humera and biologics been for you? My joint pain is just on the inside of manageable and I'm concerned that, going to uni and generally being outdoorsy, I'm putting my health more at risk by starting it then by seeking other methods of management? right now inflammation and pain are the only concerns, not more severe health risks.

[2nd message: obviously you can't give medical advice etc I'm just hoping to hear your perspective and experience. my mother is less severely impacted and also doesn't seem to be too compromised but I think she's a bit casual about health risks sometimes]

tbh I haven't felt like the immune compromise has been too bad even though I started taking biologics during the height of covid... now that I'm thinking about it I remember I was supposed to start my first humira shot before the covid vaccine was widely available, literally had the shot sitting on the counter to thaw, but then the pharmacy rang me up to say they got a batch of vaccines in and I postponed my humira shot a few days so I could go get a different shot first lol. other than getting Actual Covid about a year ago (which sucked ass but obviously didn't kill me, I think my partner who's normally in great health got hit harder by it than I did) I actually think I've gotten sick way less often in the past few years than I ever did pre-biologics/pre-covid. knock on fucking wood obviously. and I was aaaallllwaaaays getting sick with random shit pre-2020. not sure whether that's a testament to how well proper masking works or a testament to how treating my fucked-up immune system actually made me less susceptible to random viral infections but either way there's some anecdata for you.

but full disclosure that I'm a homebody in general, and then the combo of covid and my Problems means I haven't been traveled out of state more than once or twice, I still mask up in public 95% of the time, my only roommate is my partner who also masks up in public 95% of the time, we live in a private residence with our own bathroom/laundry facilities, etc. granted I do still Go Out and have potential avenues of exposure to whatever random shit is brewing, particularly in restaurants, but I don't wanna generalize my experience too too much if you're a student and might be living in a dorm, travelling a lot, etc.

although with that said I think (and don't quote me on this?) the main concerns with biologics are less about your average cold/flu/covid situation than with more serious stuff like TB or hospital acquired infections or whatever. I definitely had to get a TB test before I could start humira. and I have admittedly had some chronic but very mild skin infections thanks to being immunocompromised, but they've all been treatable, and it's hard to say whether they were caused by the biologics themselves or the combo of biologics + intermittent steroid use + preexisting eczema + recently adding methotrexate into the mix. and generally having the constitution of a sickly orphan boy lol. which is all to say that unless you're being exposed to really freaky shit on the regular I don't think going on biologics will be the difference between you staying healthy and you getting struck down by Icky Space Virus, especially since biologics are a targeted immunosuppressant in a way that (e.g.) prednisone isn't. a good N95 or KN95 mask goes a long way, too.

it's ultimately up to you and your comfort level, especially if you said you're managing the joint pain okay right now—but I've also been there and I know that "managing" pain still is not a fun place to be at all. I also don't know if you have a flavor of boneitis that turns into degrative damage over time, so that's another consideration; I was honestly pretty scared about the (depending on who you ask, minor) cancer risk of taking TNF inhibitors, but I kind of rationalized it as like, okay, if I go on these drugs and get cancer, there's a solid chance of surviving cancer, but if I don't go on these drugs and my spine fuses permanently then my spine will be fused forever and ever and I can never fix it. there's also the fact that untreated inflammation is a major cancer trigger in itself, so on the crohn's side of things I have a way higher chance of getting cancer from untreated crohn's than I do of getting cancer from crohn's treatment.

don't take it as medical advice but here's my two cents: if your doctor thinks it's safe, and if you would benefit significantly from treatment, I think it's worth trying. soooooo many people take these drugs and the majority don't have life-altering side effects. with the immune suppression specifically, or even other minor side effects, I see it as a question of whether those risks/side effects are outweighed by the symptoms you're dealing with on a daily basis. I tend to approach that with a rough formula of severity x probability on both sides, which means unless the side effects are really bad AND really likely to happen, or unless the symptoms are relatively minor, I usually gravitate towards taking the drug. "symptom I already have that fucking sucks" usually comes out on top as the greater evil. but that's just me!

tangentially related point you might find interesting: I mentioned the other day about getting a consultation from a cosmetic surgeon who I later found out was related to the lead singer of imagine dragons, but the way I found that out was because I asked the surgeon if it was okay to get operated on while taking humira, and he said that not only was it fine, but also that he takes humira for the same arthritis + IBD combo that I have. and then later I heard an imagine dragons song on the radio, which reminded me how the lead singer is my nemesis because he's the most famous person alive with spondylitis but makes shitty music, and then I thought about how he's from vegas, and then how he's mormon, and then how the surgeon I saw is also mormon (BYU diploma spotted in his office lol. despite his main specialty being top surgery. #respect), and then how the surgeon told me he has like eight brothers and they all have IBD too, and then I was like "there can't be that many mormon families in las vegas with the same genetic autoimmune issues, right...?" and looked up the lead singer's last name and it was the same as the surgeon's...

so anyway just know that active practicing surgeons take biologics and seem to be doing alright! and also that someone out there has a family with a million sons who all have Shitting Constantly disease. the toilet paper bill when those kids were growing up must have been totally insane

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tigerbears · 5 months

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Searching for Beta readers for my Undertale/Deltarune fics?

So far I've just been asking my friends for beta reading but deciding to search for more wider beta readers in the fandom.

(Decided to do so after reading this guide)

I've currently got 2-3 2-4 beta readers working on the fic, though most of them are just basically people who read it earlier. The one who's been the best at beta-reading I think wont be able to keep up with my one chapter every two weeks schedule, (and I'm actually considering making that just the "minimum goal" and just having a more loose schedule) so sending this off to find more betareaders.

Here's some relevant info if your interested.

The current fic I'm working on is a Snowgrave fic, so expect it to be dark and full of some angst. I've so far got 5-6 9-10 chapters written, at various stages of drafts/betareading. Also some CW/TW so far for this fic: Anxiety, trauma, guilt, grief, gaslighting, panic attacks, emotional/psychological manipulation and abuse, physical abuse (Thorn Ring), mind control, and suicidal ideation (Crossed out the last one as it was only in older drafts. May return later though.) While reading let me know if I need to add more. Expect the rating to be in the "Teen And Up Audiences" range on AO3, or at least that's what I'm aiming for.

This snowgrave fic is going to be Suselle centric, at least for the first section. (What? Need some stuff to lighten the mood so it ain't 90% angst darkness. Maybe 55-60% angst/Darkness, and 40-45% hurt/comfort, and some gay Suselle things)

I have plans for less angstey/more fluffy fics in the future, so dont worry if you want you can just get in contact for when I have less... dark fics... For these fics, two examples I have are 1: "A kind of ambitious post-pacifist Undertale fic I've always wanted to write that I'm waiting until I get some experience for" 2: "A few Deltarune prequel fics set before Dess's disappearance, the main one being about Noelle realizing she's trans because I love the headcanon and wanted to do my own take." (EDIT: Think if I'm ever writing this, I think I'm going to make this fic broader/not just Noelle centric. Probably going to start with Kris coming out as enby to Azzy.) Generally for my fics I'm aiming around the "General Audiances/Teen And Up Audiances" rating on AO3.

I just want some general beta reading for the fics I write. (just generally on everything). However, one thing I'm going to be looking for in later fics is anyone under the non-binary umbrella willing to do sensitivity reading. I plan for the Post pacifist UT & DR prequel fics to go into Kris, Frisk, and Chara's enby gender identities. (Examples: Asriel helping Chara realize their enby in my UT fics, and Kris coming out as non-binary at the start of my "Noelle realizes she's trans pre-canon Deltarune fic which would have at least one subplot about Noelle realizing she's trans" fic.) While I am trans, I'm not non-binary, so I'd want some sensitivity readers go over that and point out if I've messed up anything when it comes to Enby rep.

Feel free to include your first reactions while reading the fic! (from the friends who've beta read in the past, seeing their reactions were honestly the best part lol)

Let me know if you would/would not want to be credited!

Current scheduled: currently I'm just writing a back catalog of chapters for the snowgrave fic. Don't really have a schedule but I at the fastest I plan to release chapters at a pace of one chapter every two weeks. Once I've gotten the first three to five chapters beta-read by all my readers I'll likely start sending off chapters at that pace at least. I don't want to compromise my writing quality with deadlines. My only real goal is to finish/at least release the first few chapters before Deltarune Chapters 3-4 gets released.

If you want to have a snippet of my past writing, I've so far posted one fic on AO3 about Noelle coming out as trans to Berdly. (Though I honestly think I've done a lot more unpublished fic writing so I do think I've improved quite a bit since this fic)

Anyway, if your interested feel free to send an ask/message me on tumblr! (from there we can talk more about specifics/communication/ect)

EDIT: It's been a week and I've yet to get a response. Crossed out messages bc I've since closed them. If your still interested in betareading use the asks.

#deltarune #deltarune fanfic #fanfic #undertale #undertale fanfic #fanfiction #beta reader #beta readers #looking for beta readers #posts from tigerbear's tumblr #beta read

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northwest-cryptid · 9 months

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1. Yes it is! My partner and I made it from a mannequin I bought from a store that was going out of business.

2. Short answer, you get used to it. That's my daughter lol. She used to be in the bedroom with Miku, they were literally right next to the bed which was honestly a little awkward because they're both life sized.

Long answer, I live here:

I honestly get jumpscared more by Miku since I sometimes catch a reflection of a humanoid shape behind me while I'm walking down the hall at night. (She is also my daughter though so it's okay)

And thanks to my partner for making an old mirror into a silent hill save point we have this hanging above our fireplace:

We made the witch hats for Halloween a few years ago and they've adorned our fireplace ever since we moved in. However between the Silent Hill save point and the idols (effigies?) of Santa Muerte my family sends each year it feels pretty safe lol. (We don't live in Oregon I just grew up there)

But to properly answer your question I have never really been one for horror in general, I enjoy neon lights, upbeat raves, and good vibes. However when I met my partner she was always a big fan of horror and gothic aesthetics. I played through Silent Hill 2 for her and actually really enjoyed it, I watched a bunch of horror movies with her and found them to be enjoyable, and when we moved in together she decorated our house with skulls, skeletons, witch hats, and gothic horror aesthetics.

At first those things gave me existential dread, seeing a skeleton everyday is a weird reminder of death and when I was already existential to begin with you can imagine that didn't help lol. However as time went on we began to work on craft projects together and I found all those horror decorations oddly comforting because I associate them with her.

Now our house has a mix of my love for neon lights and dumb anime figures with her love of gothic horror, and these things have more or less become shared interests for us. Whether we're running out to check all the craft stores for Halloween decorations in July so she can get them early or we are hitting up the newest anime figure and book store to open so I can gush at her about all my favorite vtubers, when you decorate a space with someone you love those decorations are no longer frightening no matter how grotesque because they have so many wholesome loving memories attached to them.

Oh and she stays up all year by the way, we make compromises because I love Christmas, despite not being religious or capitalist it's my favorite holiday for the cozy vibes and my partner loves Halloween so our house is very festive during that time,

Santa hats for everyone and everything,

This house is full of creepy, funny little guys. We love craft projects and we love monsters. We've also been getting into 3D printing as of this last year so there is no limit to our madness now lol.

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triviareads · 8 months

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I was not a a big Secret of a Summer Night fan but can you recommend me other Lisa Kleypas books?

I've definitely heard that from other people who've read Secrets of a Summer Night— I personally have mixed feelings about it; it's something of a comfort read when I want to feel 0 stress; but also, very little seems to happen in terms of plot. It's mostly set during a house party, and even with Annabelle's mom almost killing an ex, and Hunt's locomotive accident injuries, it feels very staid. I do like Hunt (one of Lisa's earlier self-made industrialist heroes, though not as much as McKenna and Rhys Winterborne), and I like Annabelle as well, despite having read multiple reviews calling her shallow and materialistic. But there are better Kleypas books out there for sure:

Again the Magic: The Kleypas book that probably makes me feel the most; I'm a sucker for a second-chance romance, especially when McKenna AGGRESSIVELY propositions Aline the second he returns. Like, that combination of immense self-loathing (on both their parts, although for Aline, more self-loathing than spite) and spite.... is very attractive to me. Also, the secondary romance between Shaw and Olivia is lovely— sweet but also has a lot of depth and realism re his alcoholism.

Dreaming of You: A classic, though for different reasons from the following two books (and closer in reasoning to Suddenly You now that I think about it). It's rare to read about a independent heroine with a career in HR, and I love Sara for that. I think it's that unconventionality, as well as her sense and nonjudgement, that makes her a perfect fit for Derek, who is a little damaged and hovers somewhere between unrefined and genteel. But reading them slowly come to that conclusion is a delight, as is the setting of Craven's gambling hell in general.

It Happened One Autumn: I've talked about this one enough on here lol, but it's just a genuinely fun book? Similar to Secrets of a Summer Night there's a lot of house party shenanigans and it doesn't super pick up until the very end, but Lillian and Westcliff's, to use Lisa's word, "vitality" mostly makes up for this. They're two such strong-willed individuals even when they're loudly and proudly wrong at various points and hilarious to read.

Devil in Winter: Unlike IHOA, a lot goes down in this book, and honestly, I feel like Evie and St. Vincent needed that in order to grow to love one another, starting with their elopement and his taking over her father's gambling hell, and ending with St. Vincent's celibacy streak... and how the streak is broken. Also, reading the redemption of St. Vincent and Evie coming into her own are big draws for me, especially if you read IHOA first.

Marrying Winterborne: I've said this before but I'm a big fan of an immediate proposition, and Rhys Winterborne and his "I must compromise you to make sure you stay engaged to me" scheme did the trick. Also, I like the idea of them being engaged to each other for most of the book (and the perks that come with that... both materially and otherwise) even as they try and figure out how to have a functional partnership.

Chasing Cassandra: More of a comfort read; I think Cassandra and Tom are very cute and if you want something relatively lighthearted and very insta-love cute, then this is your book.

Prince of Dreams: Okay so maybe the plot in this one isn't the tightest, but I'd recommend it if only for the singular delight of a Russian hero who has very few scruples in a way I personally enjoy (I also just generally enjoy a good Russian hero). Oh, and the rare vegetarian heroine who's a part of ye olde PETA.

EDIT:

Married By Morning: I forgot about this one but only because I can't remember any plot specifics BUT Leo and Marks are great characters and their dynamic is really cute and also, very unexpectedly very hot. Marks is a governess with a secret past, and Leo is her charge's older brother who took like 3 books to slowly transition from pathetic -> not which I do appreciate.

#book recs #lisa kleypas #historical romance

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qprstories · 1 year

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So I just wanted to give a little overview of my situation to show what a QPR and the process of figuring out how to define a relationship can be like. I'm a nonbinary aroace, and my partner is an allo bi woman. We've known each other since we were children and have strongly overlapping social circles in general, which consist of pretty much all of the queer people in our age range in the small town we both lived at that point lol.

The history: We considered ourselves best friends for a long time, until we were teenagers and she came out as bi and admitted having a crush on me one day sat on my bed. At this point I believed I was a girl, thought my attachment to her must also be a crush, and that I must therefore be either bi or a lesbian myself. Not long after this, I learned the words to express being asexual, and for a while considered myself an asexual lesbian. Then whoops, not a girl. Started calling myself asexual trixic to combat dysphoria I personally had with the word lesbian at that point. Slowly realised I wasn't alloromantic either, and struggled with a specific label for that for a while. All throughout this, we called our relationship many different things, went through a little bit of a pseudo-breakup at one point when she didn't understand what I was trying to express about the way I experience attraction.

I've only settled on 'fully aroace' pretty recently, which prompted me to re-evaluate things all over again.

As of right now we call each other our partners and I think QPR is the best descriptive term for our relationship, but that may change again in future, and in general we don't like to label our relationship.

My partner is also polyamorous, and has intermittently been with two other partners (who are also partnered with each other) during the time she's been with me, so I guess I'm loosely part of a polycule too?

A little bit about the peculiarities of our relationship: We don't spend much time physically together due to distance after we both moved out of the town where we met, and I'm not good at speaking over the phone due to neurodiverging reasons, so our primary interaction is texting. We send each other memes, cool videos to watch, things related to the other's interests- a lot of the sort of stuff you'd find in a typical online friendship, really. When we are together, we cuddle, hold hands when walking around, lay on the couch together, and we have kissed a few times. We wouldn't do anything more intimate than that. She has no issue with being casually naked in front of me (which she absolutely wouldn't do with a friend, for example) and I've seen her that way many, many times, but I wouldn't be comfortable letting her see me even partially undressed (which she understands). She's told me she would like to sleep in the same bed as me (in a literal sense lol), but even though that idea does appeal to me in theory, for sensory reasons I wouldn't be able to enjoy it. I've spent around a year living in her house over the last few years, in two stints of about six months each. Both times I only went to visit, and whoops, guess I live here again. There's currently an open offer for me to move back in whenever I want, but sadly I can't for the forseeable future. She has a child with one of the aforementioned partners, and the child calls me by my name and knows me as her friend. Nobody considers me to be a parental figure to that child in the slightest.

In summary: I, an aroace person, am in a QPR with an allo person who has little to no exposure to anything aspec outside of me. It's taken a lot of explanations, conversations, and sometimes compromise on both parts, and here we still are!

<3 thank u for the first story anon!!!

#qprstories #thank you for the first anon!#queerplatonic #qpr #queerplatonic relationship

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merge-conflict · 1 year

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10 & 14 for Val/Abernathy & 20 & 16 for Val/Goro? :3c

:3 (Questions here)

10. What was their last big fight? What did they learn from it? (Valentine/Abernathy)

I'll preface this by saying that their style of fighting is all outwardly civil, because showing real distress or anger would be losing. So you've got one of those situations where all the air goes out of the room and they end up saying very vicious things in calm reasonable voices. Their last argument wasn't anything monumental on its own, but it was one of those ones where a lot of bullshit had been simmering for a while. When Abernathy gave Valentine some condescending feedback on a project she was working on, it just devolved into both of them trying to hurt the other as much as possible. Their fights usually go along the lines of 'You're never going to be good enough (Abernathy to Valentine)' and 'Your obsessive need to control people is why you don't have any friends besides me (Valentine to Abernathy)'.

They made up, but a few weeks after this Abernathy broke up with her in a public place and shortly after that after she got her promotion to SpecOps director and got Valentine kicked down the ladder with Jenkins. So Abernathy learned to be excessively paranoid about becoming a target for revenge, and Valentine learned not to ever get too comfortable. ¯_(ツ)_/¯ 14. What little things remind them of each other? (Valentine/Abernathy)

I guess this one is angsty because obviously they did not have a good breakup.

For Abernathy, it's every time she sees an exec working hand in hand with a trusted lieutenant, and whenever she's at a fancy party and doesn't have Valentine to text snarky commentary to. Valentine was really into all her fancy coffee blends and so on occasion she still hears her ranting intensely on the comparison of one roast over another when she's having her morning cups.

For Valentine, inevitably anything to do with the fucked up internal politics and power struggle within Arasaka will always have that sort of tinge of memory. She also still remembers all of Abernathy's favorite snacks and places to eat and socialize, which she now avoids entirely. 16. How do they react when the other is upset? How do they try to help? (Valentine/Goro)

Heh, well throughout the game events Valentine oscillates violently between "Everything's fine lol :)" and "If I can't stab someone or something in the next five minutes I'm going to lose it :)" so Goro gets a lot of practice. His strategy is generally to be a quiet voice of reason and stick close by for when she is ready to cool off and lean on him. He's also found distracting her with innocuous and unrelated conversation to be helpful.

On the other hand when they're together Valentine usually is expending some amount of brain power anticipating his reactions to things (she gets pretty good at it, so it's instinctual) and pre-empting as many conflicts as she can. Otherwise, Goro is a much more emotionally stable person than she is, but also much more (successfully) repressed, so often her work is to openly acknowledge she can tell he is upset. Most of the time the things that upset him are outside of her control (survivor bias lol), so she just listens to him get it off his chest.

20. If they disagree, who's usually the one to compromise? (Valentine/Goro)

Valentine 100% lmao. Either she won't mention that she disagrees or she'll tell him, but agree to do it his way anyway. There are times when she thinks she's right but that she can convince him, but she'll do it in the most convoluted non-confrontational way possible, and she's lucky one of his career skills is being able to understand what someone wants without saying it. (There was that one time she punched him in the jaw instead, but that was an Outlier.)

Which isn't to say Goro intentionally steamrolls her, but he's used to being obeyed as much as he is being Saburo's shadow. Still, he doesn't really want her to just go along with whatever he does so he does make the effort to compromise occasionally even if he thinks he's right. Luckily they don't disagree on most of the important things, and for most of the other stuff they're confident enough just to tease each other about those differences of opinion. (e.g. can the snacks sold in gas stations be considered Food?)

#ask meme #valentine #reading this like oh I guess Valentine has some Issues huh #johnny chewing drywall listening to her explain that all conversations are like disarming a bomb #and every meeting is a tactical battle that must be Won to be successful #*slaps valentine* you can fit so many neuroses in this #ok I finally did it #every time I think about abernathy and valentine the whole thing becomes so much worse #cyberpunk 2077

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