#(i think. i havent read the series in months. i see it only when i edit it on a weekly basis)

[shurisneakers]

me watching reactions to part 4 calling Steve an asshole but it's been a while since ive actually read the series so i have no idea if ive accidentally made him too much of a dick or if it is justified

#plus the story really only starts around chapter 6 #not to give any spoilers #but the commandos have their hashtag first mention #(i think. i havent read the series in months. i see it only when i edit it on a weekly basis) #also people are mad at him for going back to the past for ms carter..... 👀 is he? #ari talks #bridges break fic #steve Rogers x reader #captain America x reader

[blublublujk]

bound 2 (falling in love)

oneshot

word count: 6.5k

genre: fwb to lovers

pairing: yoongi x reader

summary:

You and Yoongi were okay with being friends with benefits... until you weren't.

warnings: i tried to focus on fluff (did you catch it or did i fail), explicit sexual content; unprotected sex (they make love to each other), choking and breath play (hello it's yoongi), multiple orgasms, slight overstimulation, crying (is it really my ff if there's no crying involved), creampie, very cute aftercare and i think that’s all, this is more sweet than anything lol

a.n: believe it or not this wasn't apart of my drafts i wrote this all one night because i couldn't sleep so thank my insomnia for this, it was about time i write about yoongi :D

also i noticed a lot of you are reading it was destiny and love always wins and i wish you guys wouldn't only because i plan to rewrite some of it and continue them at a further time (chaptered ffs are so hard for me rn since i don't have all the time in the world to dedicate myself to them but i promise to be back with those two series) thank you for everyone who takes time to read what i write it really means so much and your comments have been so motivating. thank you so fucking much for 2k notes on good girl, gone bad i havent seen numbers like that ever im so so grateful, thank you from the bottom of my heart. i'll try to be back one or two more times this month and happy late birthday to me hehe <3

—> m.list

—> welcome me on ao3 & twt

—-

It happened again.

Another failed date to add to the sad list of people that simply will never workout for you.

The list was growing longer as months passed. When you started this list, it was barely the start of a very hot summer. Probably the hottest it’s been in years, one can only assume the winter will not be any easier. 

And you were right. Winter was only beginning and it was brutally cold. The streets were moist from the previous night of harsh rainfall. 

What better time to date and settle down than now. When the world gives you rain, settle for the warm arms of a lover.

Unfortunately, you made a grave mistake thinking this would come easy. Ten first dates later and you are still very single and loverless. 

It is not easy to go out during a time like now, suffering at the sight of happy couples and their stupid happy lives. Really, it should disgust you. It used to. The whole concept of devoting your entire life to someone. The need to constantly feel the tender touch of another person. The desire to fall in love and do it all over again, you get it now. At least, you think you do. 

“I don’t think this is gonna work.” The words fall from your mouth in a quiet rush. The man across you sits in silence before he smiles in his loss. 

“Don’t worry, I figured. It seems your mind was elsewhere. I know you don’t want to pursue anything romantically, and that’s fine with me, but is everything okay?” 

Is everything okay? Well currently, yeah you’re okay. As for your heart, it’s heavy and strangely, you feel there’s a hole in your chest and it needs to be filled. That would fix things, you think. You have been single for so long that you forgot what it was like to love and cherish someone. Not that you have ever truly loved or cherished anyone, but you’ve gotten close. If a silly relationship you had in your sophomore year of high school counts. Then yes, you’ve totally been in love. 

“I’m okay. Thanks for asking. I didn’t mean to lead you on, if it ever felt like I did.” The apology seems bitter in your mouth. Another failed fucking attempt. How difficult can dating be? Have you really been this disconnected with the world around you? 

“Don’t stress it! Things happen. I hope you can find what you’re looking for. See you… around?” The man’s understanding response makes you feel worse. Maybe you should consider deleting Tinder and finding love naturally, if that’s still a thing in the contemporary life. 

“Yeah, totally!” And like that you’re off to the next. Giving yourself plenty of time to bathe in your disappointment and miserably cry about your failed attempts at finding what you’ve been missing. Who knew dating could be so difficult?

The walk back home is just as cold as the outcome of today’s date. Your date insisted he could drive you home and if not that then pay for a cab, but you didn’t live too far from the restaurant you both met at. Though he insisted, you figured this walk could refresh you after yet another failure. You were starting to regret it as the cold wind started roughly hitting your skin. Preserving the chilly weather, you genuinely couldn’t wait to get home and wrap yourself in a bundle of warm blankets and comfortable clothes. 

Cold hands struggle to open your door, you blow on them with warm puffs of breaths, soon making your way in and getting comfortable in your humble apartment. 

yoon: you up?

And that, that is what made this harder. The fact that you knew there was someone completely capable of loving and caring for you the way you desired. You have seen it with your own eyes. Every time you ended up in his bed, in his arms, you felt it. Deep down you know something is there and that something beats everything else. Maybe you’re just delusional, but you look for him in everyone else and you hate it. Hate because you will never be anything more than his personal little whore that comes at the sound of his call. 

me: yeah

Normally, you aren’t dry over texts, especially not with him so he’ll see right through you. You’re hoping for once, he can ignore it. 

He won't. 

yoon: you ok?

me: been better

yoon: wanna talk about it?

me: no, i'm ok

yoon: ok, wanna come over? 

Yes, because during a time like this all you want is the comfort and warmth of someone else’s touch and Yoongi has never failed at giving that to you. But he is not yours.

And you are not his. 

me: not feeling well. sorry.

yoon: sick? 

A white lie never hurt anyone. 

me: yeah, throat hurts

yoon: im sorry 

me: it's not your fault maybe another time.

Though you really shouldn’t say that. There should be no next time. That way you don’t suffer any longer and drag him down with you, considering everything you’ve been feeling and dealing with lately. It’s not fair to Yoongi, but especially yourself.

He doesn’t reply anymore and you can’t even hide your disappointment. You aren’t disappointed at him, okay maybe a little bit at him, but mainly yourself and your recently found complicated feelings. 

You and Yoongi started this whole mess a year ago, before you even realized what you truly wanted. It started off with subtle flirting here and there. They say not to mess with coworkers, given that it can complicate things at work and one should never play with their main source of income, but you did it anyway. You are still young and he only made you feel younger, like a teenage girl crushing over her forbidden crush at church. It was silly, but Yoongi made it easy. 

The flirting turned to one thing, then another. 

“We shouldn’t, not here.” Yoongi had you pinned outside the club you both worked at, leaving trails of wet kisses down your throat.

“Five more minutes.” His words were muffled into your skin as his hands explored your body. Yoongi’s touch was always way too soft for his own good and you fell victim to his deadly warmth. 

“If Mr. Kim finds out, he’ll kill us and fire us both.” That was a bit dramatic on your part and you swore you felt the taller smiling against your neck.

Yoongi drops one last kiss on your cheek as his hot breath hits your ear. “Not if I kill him first.”

You gasped, pushing him off you with a quick smack to his chest. “D-Don’t even joke like that.” 

Yoongi just laughed. 

“Okay, okay baby.” The term of endearment fell from his lips too easily and you melted into the dark night. “See you after work?” 

You only nodded, not being able to deny his temporary warmth and sweet presence. Then he dropped a kiss on your lips, leaving you just as quick as when he first found you. You were fucked.

From there, it only got worse for your sake. Your heart could only take so much. 

Really, you should blame things on him. It was his fault you fell in love with him and his stupidly soft hands. It was all his fault! He left you no choice but to love the feel of his lips against your skin, to easily melt under his soft gaze, and find comfort in his unnecessarily warm bed. Yoongi was perfect. Everything you could ever want. 

That’s why it was so fucking hard. Dating was hard enough, but after feeling Yoongi’s intimate touch, you were a complete goner. Though he was far from it, Yoongi touched you like you were his and he would fuck you like a lover would. Kissing and making love to you as if you were the most beautiful woman on Earth. It was all too much. 

Fuck, you really needed to get a grip.

The knock on your door makes you jump from your couch. 

Ten minutes longer and you would have fallen asleep exactly where you were lying. In outside clothes and all. You didn’t even bother taking off the outfit you had carefully planned thinking that this lucky outfit would have finally taken you somewhere. It didn’t. 

“Coming!” There’s not a single person that should be outside your door, especially at this hour. Your feet make their way to the door regardless and the blood from your face drains when you see the person standing behind the door. 

Quickly, you unlock your front door, rushing the taller inside. “Hurry! It’s freezing! What are you doing out here?” 

Yoongi’s cheeks are surely frozen, a pink dust decorates his cheeks and the tip of his nose. It almost makes him look cute. You were far more gone than you imagined. 

He hustles inside, carrying a fairly large brown bag with him. He brought… groceries? 

“Took you long enough.” The taller one makes himself at home, laying his bag on your coffee table. 

“What are you even doing here?” You ask again. 

He ignores you. “Thought you said you were sick. You don’t look very sick?” 

Yoongi looks at you with a questioning look, his eyes wander your outfit and guilt starts eating your insides. 

You cross your arms, an attempt to hide yourself in shame, but what’s done is done. “I- I had plans.” 

“Yeah, I see that.” He simply says, standing awkwardly in your living area. 

If this doesn’t convince you to delete that forsaken app for the sake of your dignity and shameful behavior, you don’t know what will.

“Anyways, w-what brings you here?” 

“Brought you some stuff.” His hand waves over to the bag he carried inside. 

“Stuff?” You question, a bit dumbfounded, planted still in your place.

“Tea, cough drops, some soup I made earlier this week. Oh and flowers.” Yoongi doesn’t seem at all embarrassed or fazed about the situation. Not that he should be, but he speaks with a puff to his chest, as if he wanted to ensure you understood his every word and action. Like any concerned lover would be. As if he was yours and you were his.

Oh.

This was so so bad. For you and your weak heart. Fuck.

“I-“ 

He cuts you off before you even get to speak. “I don’t know if you’ll like it. It’s just some plain seaweed soup. Usually helps me when I’m sick. I’m not sure what flowers you like, or if you even like flowers. Do you? Their tulips. I did a bit of research before. My mom likes tulips. I figured you might like them too.” 

He did research? Double fuck! 

Yoongi was nervously rambling, now he was slightly embarrassed. Pink flushes his cheeks and it wasn’t the weather’s doing this time. 

“Yoongi…” You start breathlessly and in disbelief. 

“What?” He nearly stutters, his hand is shaking. He’s nervous. Who would have thought? 

“Why.” Is all you manage to ask. 

“You were sick.” Is all he replies. As if things were really that simple. What next? Would he come rushing to the hospital if you suddenly fell ill? God forbid, but it was a valid question. 

What was going on? For a second, you entertain the idea. Maybe he fell in love between the blurry lines of this complicated relationship. Were the shared intimate memories too special for him to forget too? You weren’t sure anymore, but what did this all mean? Maybe he loves you, as much as you love him.

Thoughts keep spinning and you wish there was an easier way to turn off your brain. Not now.

“I know, but why? Why all this? Why for me?” Your vulnerability is showing and it makes you feel weak. Maybe your hands are shaking too. 

“I don't understand?” Yoongi searches for the answer in your glossy eyes, he’s tempted to reach out and comfort you. Have you in his hands, but he’s too coward. He doesn’t want you to feel the shiver of his touch right now. His vulnerability peaks through as well. 

Why not you? It’s always going to be you. 

“I-I’m nothing to you.” There’s a shiver again and then you break. 

Yoongi doesn’t care anymore. He’ll consider the consequences later. Right now, none of it matters.

His hands hold your face, ready to wipe the tears that threaten to leak from your precious eyes. He hopes his hands aren't cold anymore from standing outside for so damn long, but he couldn’t stop himself, in his selfishness and all.

His hands shake slightly, trying to stay strong as he lays it all on the table. “Y/N, you’re everything to me.” He whispers, eyes never leaving yours.

You lay your own hands on his, you feel so delicate around him when you wrap warm hands around his cold wrists.

“I-I am?” You ask between sniffles. His hands are still pretty cold, but they’ll soon warm up against your soft skin. Nobody knows how desperately you need to be touched until you are and then it’s like little fireworks spark inside your body. It consumes you in the best way possible.

“Of course. I thought I made that obvious.” His eyes are soft, different to how he typically looks at you, but you’ve seen these same eyes before. They are no stranger. It’s similar to the look he gives you when you catch him staring at you while you are deep in work. He pretends to look away as if he wasn’t admiring you from afar and you pretend that you don’t notice his curious eyes. It’s the same look he has after you both end up in heated makeout sessions, behind the rusty club you both work at. And it’s definitely the same look he has while he settles on top of you, whispering sweet words of praise and promise.

Nothing should feel different but it just does, there’s something in the way he looks down at you that lets you know that everything you’ve been searching for has always been right here. Right where you’ve been all along.

The taller leans in and you freeze struggling to keep your eyes on his. Yoongi’s thumb brushes against your cheek with a soft touch. You were fragile between his hands and he’s willing to do anything to keep his precious flower safe. “Can I kiss you?” 

“Yes. Please.” You whisper back in a hurry, scared that this would be nothing but a dream. It wasn’t time for you to wake up yet.

His eyes zero-in on your lips and then he’s kissing you. It’s not much different from other times. After all, you guys have shared plenty of kisses, probably more than you should have considering you guys were friends with benefits, at most. But this time, the kiss isn’t just a careless lust-filled doing, no this time the kiss is a promise. The promise to never again allow you to question his feelings and intentions towards you. 

If Yoongi has to spend his whole life making this up to you, he simply would because that’s how much you meant to him. He can’t believe he even let this go on for this long. He should have been more clear and careful, but he doesn’t regret a damn thing. Not when he has all the time in the world to repair the time lost. And especially not when his reckless actions led him to this. To you.

Yoongi’s lips are soft and bend with yours with ease. He takes his time, never in a rush. Especially not when he has you in-hand. 

The taller doesn’t escalate the kiss. He keeps it sweet and gentle, like he always has been. “I’m so sorry baby.” 

Kiss.

“For?” 

Kiss.

Yoongi has the whole world in his hands right now as he looks down into the sparkles in your eyes and he’s never been so sure about anything in his life. “For being a fucking idiot.”

Kiss. 

“It’s okay.” A kiss is shared again. “I was an idiot too. I was just scared that you wouldn’t want that with me.” 

“Want what?” The taller questions, fingers trailing your face, admiring the imperfections and all. 

“A relationship, I mean. You seemed content with how our relationship already was. I was afraid of losing that. Of losing you.” You admit, eyes fluttering at his touch. 

“Of course, I want that. I want that and more. I-I’m not the best with relationships. I’m only saying this because I want to be open and honest with you. There’s not a second you aren’t on my mind. While at work, you are all I can see. In a crowd of a hundred, my eyes always find yours. I don’t know how to explain what you do to me. But I don’t mind. I think if I ever lost that, I would lose my mind. So I’m sorry if I ever made you feel the opposite. There’s so much more I want to say, but I just don’t know how. I want that. I want that so bad. A relationship and whatever more you give me. I might not be the best boyfriend but I’ll do whatever it takes. I- I love you.” Yoongi’s words are heartfelt and he’s so relieved. One because he’s been keeping this in for so long, any longer and he would have exploded, but second because he’s been dying to say those three words. He really does love you and Yoongi doesn’t love many people in life, but if he had to choose, it’s always gonna be you. 

The tears that were creeping on your eye-lids fall prettily down your face, but Yoongi comes to your rescue. He’s quick to wipe them off your pretty face, tempted to kiss them away, but he keeps that in for now. “Y-Yoongi… I love you too. So much. I think I always have. You are so easy to love. The way you look at me, care for me, and always show up for me. That says more about you than anything else. I tried dating to get over what I felt for you, as you can probably tell, but nothing worked. It was so easy, Yoongi. So easy to fall in love with you. You’re perfect and I don’t doubt that you’ll be the best even after all this. I love you.”

“I love you too, I love you. Fuck, I love you.” Yoongi kisses you again and this time he isn’t as gentle. His lips are still soft as ever as they curl around yours. His tongue comes out and you immediately allow access, letting him explore your mouth. The taste is much better now that there isn’t anything you both are holding back. Everything down on the line and you couldn’t be happier. The hole in your heart was never empty, it was just waiting for this exact moment to remind you that you’ve always had it all. 

“Yoongi.” In between breaths you call his name and Yoongi feels his knees lock. “Take me to bed.” 

Yoongi just nods in a trance with the way your tone drips of arousal. A long strand of hair falls on his face when he picks you up with ease off your feet. He takes you to the place he’s had the honor to visit a hundred times before, but it’s different this time, much different. 

In the process of it all, something falls and it causes you both to laugh until you run out of breath. 

“I can’t believe that just happened.” You laugh into his ear. “You owe me a new lamp. My mother bought me that, you know. House-warming gift.”

“Fuck, sorry.” Yoongi mumbles near a whisper as he grips you harder like he’s afraid he might drop you next and the idea makes you giggle because you know he would never purposely hurt you. “I’ll apologize to your mother directly. Buy you and her a new lamp, whatever it takes.”

“What makes you think you are meeting my mother?” You tease with a smile on your face, watching the blush rise on his cheeks. 

“Well, I figured we could, you know, if you would like–” Yoongi doesn’t often get shy about many things but he can’t keep calm around you and that kills him softly.

“I’m just teasing you.” You say and he bites his lip. “Of course you’ll meet my mother and my father and my nosy ass family. I hope you like annoying, persistent grandma’s that stuff you full. My grandma’s the worst of her kind, but she’ll love you.”

“I would love to.” Yoongi simply replies, still whispering as if you guys had to keep quiet or else you’d be in deep trouble. 

“Why are we still whispering?” You whisper back, roaming fingers through his long, gorgeous hair. He needs to remind you to thank his mother personally for insisting he keep his hair long because it made him look pretty and you could never disagree. Yoongi’s so pretty. 

“I-I don’t know.” 

You both smile at each other before sharing another kiss. It’s so sweet and if you weren’t already off your feet, you would be floating by now. He’s gentle when letting you drop into the sheets below, he finds space between your legs and you wrap them around his hips. Lips still in contact, never losing the plushy feel. 

Everything starts to feel hot. Your hips start to slowly grind against his begging for any sort of friction. But the kissing doesn’t stop. 

Not when you start whining against his lips. 

Not even when Yoongi starts trailing his fingers down your waist and around your curves. He teases his fingertips against your waistline, soft to the touch. 

It’s not until you mewl loudly into his mouth, skillful tongue playing with yours, as you feel him start unbuckling your pants, button-by-button. 

Yoongi’s eyes are heavy-lidded, his gaze burning fire. “Gonna take care of you now, is that okay?” 

You furiously nod, coming up to kiss him once more, both your lips are raw and sensitive, but it gives you more of a reason to fix it with even more kisses. 

He drops one quick kiss onto your mouth before he trails down your jaw. Yoongi breathes in the sweet scent on your skin, wishing he could feel you even closer. “Smell so damn good.”

His voice is raspy against your ear and it makes you blush, while you feel his hand finally touch you where you had been aching with need. “Wanna hear you.”

Breathing lightly, you whisper. “Make me.” 

And of course, Yoongi makes you regret how fast you said the words because he delves his fingers forward with little resistance. Two fingers stretch you at the same time, gasping at the sudden sensation. 

By now, you were molded to fit Yoongi’s fingers. On days where you were really in need, you would take four, all at once. Yoongi was best at reading every expression, every crease and scrunch to your face, especially emotions. He knew exactly how to curve his fingers, the way to build you up, and bring you back down. Yoongi knew it all and he was so lucky too. 

He never anticipated it would have gone this far. It was just sex to begin with. But who were you both kidding, it was always much, much more. 

Yoongi curves his fingers in the way he’s used to and watches your mouth drop, sweet noises soon leaving your lips. “Feels good?” 

There’s no need to ask because he can tell. Your expression tells him everything he needs to know. That and the fact that you are dripping around his fingers but it’s sexier hearing it from you. 

“Yeah… f-feels so good.” With his other hand he tugs your clothes off, leaving you bare on the bottom. Remembering the first few times is a bit embarrassing, but Yoongi always made sure to take his time and make you feel comfortable. It was special and memorable in its own way, and Yoongi felt it too. 

This is unlike any first time, but it was technically the first time you could officially make love to each other until you fall lovesick and that had to be impossible around someone like Yoongi. 

“Hold your legs open for me, flower.” You try to ignore the warm feeling that buzzes in your chest, but you are sure your face says it all. Without another word, you spread your legs open, tucking both hands behind your thighs.

“Flower?” You breathe out with a bit of a struggle as his two fingers continue to pump deep inside you, brushing repeatedly against your g-spot. 

“Do you not like it?” Yoongi smiles slightly, biting his bottom lip while he watches you start to tremble, making the prettiest sounds. 

“I do. Why the new name?” Voice a bit unsteady but it does the job. Yoongi thinks of all the times he thought you were as pretty as a flower, which really was all the time. Especially, in the way he has you right now. Pretty, pretty as a flower. 

“I’ve always wanted to call you that. You’re pretty, sweet, delicate. Just like a flower.” He justifies his reasoning and you melt into puddles. 

“Yoongi.” Voice sweet as honey. 

“Yes baby.” He replies with ease.

“Make love to me, Yoongi.” 

There was a time in his life where Yoongi believed he could live without love. How foolish of him to think so. When he met you, it was a complete three-sixty. Suddenly, Yoongi started to look forward to his shit job. He looked forward to that time between breaks where he could admire you from the back like a pinning loser. Yoongi even started to like the walks he had to take to get to work because he knew that the path would eventually lead to you. He started looking forward to tomorrow's and to the bright future that led ahead. His mom would often complain that he was wasting his life away waiting for it to start, but Yoongi thinks life truly started the day he met you. 

It was a bit awkward because you couldn’t even look him in the eyes, intimated by the staff and new environment. You had previously worked in different bars so you assumed it would be no different and it wasn’t, but the intimidation of a new job was there nonetheless. Yoongi was there every step of the way. He had a crush on the new employee and you needed help on fitting in. Either way, your friendship was very platonic until it wasn’t. 

Yoongi knows he should have said something along the lines “hey, maybe we shouldn't be doing this anymore. I’m in love with you and I have been since you started working here” but the stupid words never made it out. He felt it would be too much to hear and it would only make him look like a complete loser. 

And you felt the same. It was silly really, because everyone around you knew it and there was no reason to fear someone as easy going and non-judgemental as Yoongi, nonetheless it brought you both here. After many failed dating attempts, you were finally happy and in the arms of someone who you truly love and want to be loved by. 

There was a time in his life where Yoongi believed he could live without love, now Yoongi believes your precious, sweet love brought him back to life and he wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. 

Clothes now discarded on the floor, heavy breathing filling the room, and Yoongi could get wasted on the smell of your intoxicating perfume. “Breathe flower.”

Yoongi felt you shiver at the sound of his words, throwing your head back as he thrusts you full of cock. He pushes inside you with gentle movements, struggling to keep himself up while feeling the tug of your warm velvet-like walls. 

You gasp feeling him hit your cervix in a calm, slow pace. It was breathtaking regardless of the gentle rhythm. “You’re so deep...”

“I know flower, breathe baby, breathe.” He is struggling to keep from coming inside you, overwhelmed by his own emotions as your eyes roll back, feeling the pressure rise in your belly. Without a condom, everything feels so different from other times, feeling every ridge and crease fold inside your drenching heat. You take him so nicely, like you always have. Like you’ve always belonged to him. 

You don’t even notice you stopped breathing until you start feeling lightheaded and desperate for fresh air. Breathing just as much as necessary so you don’t faint, you shake your head against his hold, his eyes watch yours, observing with curiosity. 

“No?”

“Mm, n-no.” You shake your head again, whimpering when you feel him kiss your cervix with his swollen tip, over and over and over. “Can– can you…”

“Can I what, pretty flower?” Yoongi rolls his hips a bit faster, feeling his orgasm build too quickly. He wishes he could have days with you like this always. Days to love and worship you from head to toe.

“Choke me.” You manage to say. “Don— don’t wanna breathe.” 

Yoongi growls deep, increasing his speed even more, desperate to fill the deepest part of your glistening folds. He feels you tense underneath, the sounds coming from your mouth are loud enough for your neighbors to hear, but Yoongi stopped giving a fuck about everything around him. 

He places a hand on your throat and squeezes gently, not blocking off your airways completely, but leaving you just enough air to work with. It drives you insane. The more you breathe, his rough thrusts take the air out from your lungs and the process repeats. It feels so good.  

“M-more. Harder.” You barely hear your own words, but Yoongi seems to understand because his dick is moving rapidly inside you, nearly splitting you in two. You wrap both hands around his wrist, loving the heavy weight against your chest. It’ll end too soon and it disappoints you in a way, but you have all the time in the world to make this up. “G-Gonna come.” 

Yoongi nods, concentrating on the way your face scrunches with pleasure. With love. The way your eyes tell him a story. God, Yoongi’s madly in love. “Come, my precious flower.” 

With those final words, you come on his bare slick cock, blossoming in the blissful afterglow. Yoongi doesn’t stop thrusting inside you, but he takes his hand off your throat, kissing your face gently when he sees tears start leaking down your cheeks. 

“It’s okay, you’re okay baby. Breathe for me. Slowly.” Yoongi’s words bring you back down and you throw your arms around him, crying against his shoulder. You don’t even know what invoked this strong emotion to sob your eyes out, but Yoongi allows it, caressing the back of your head. Yoongi doesn’t judge, he only holds you until you settle down. “It’s okay baby, let it out. Breathe, pretty flower.” 

“C-Come inside muh-me, please.” Even after all that, you still beg for him and Yoongi wants to laugh but for your sake and the fact that it’s endearing to him, he delivers accordingly without further questions. 

Right as he’s going to paint your walls white, he pushes himself up with one hand, still holding you with the other. “You sure?”

You’re confused about the sudden question, the tears still decorate your face but then you understand. “Birth control. Just come in me Yoongi, fuck me, fu-fuck.”

Yoongi doesn’t hesitate to regain his brutal pace, fucking you with purpose. Not that he doesn’t want kids in the near future, but he sure as hell doesn’t want any right now. He’s glad you are on the same page but maybe one day the conversation would spark and he wouldn’t want the mother of his kids to be anyone else but you. You were perfect for him. 

“Gonna come.” That’s the only warning you get, then he’s emptying himself inside your tight walls. He doesn’t stop rolling his hips, his slit leaking puddles, until he’s pumped himself dry. With one last thrust, he groans and carefully pulls out. 

He brings you with him, head falling against his chest as he continues to play with your hair, leaving kisses into your bare shoulders. “You okay baby?”

“Perfect. Feel so good.” You mumble into his skin, feeling around his waist. “I’m leaking your come into the sheets though.”

“I’ll take care of it, pretty flower.” You nod sleepily into his chest with a quiet ‘thank you’, feeling completely sated and satisfied, aching with exhaustion. “Sleep baby, I got you.”

With that, you fall deep into the shackles of sleep. Yoongi rubs your back until you completely fall asleep in his arms. He struggles to unwrap himself from your hold, but when he finally succeeds, he tucks you in and kisses your cheek a few times before getting up to clean up after the mess you both created. 

He’s light on his feet, bringing a warm towel to your slick folds and wipes as best he can, being gentle so you could continue to enjoy your sleep. Even like this, you look so beautiful and Yoongi is an extremely lucky man. 

Yoongi makes sure to also pick up the lamp he dropped from earlier as well. He blows out a breath of relief when he notices that the damage is nothing big and nothing that can’t be fixed. He’ll make sure to fix that as soon as he can. 

While he’s out there, Yoongi places the tulips into a vase and fills it with water, placing it near a window where it could grow and blossom beautifully near the sunlight. He even cuts the tips into slants because he had heard somewhere online they last longer that way, making sure to get rid of any dead leaves and petals. Yoongi couldn’t be happier.

After he’s done with the light cleaning, he washes his hands and feels the exhaustion hit him tenfold. He’s careful when placing himself back in bed, lifting your arm and placing himself underneath you. The man smiles when he feels you curl yourself around him, sleeping soundlessly. 

“I love you.” He whispers and even though you don’t say it back Yoongi feels it with the way you melt into his arms. Yoongi falls asleep easily that night. 

…

“Baby.” Yoongi hears someone call him and he ignores it. Sleep calls his name louder and he doesn’t feel like waking up right now so he groans and cuddles deeper into the bedsheets below him, unaware of the life around him. 

“Baby wake up.” You keep calling sweetly and it’s tempting but he persists.

“No. Don’t wanna.” Yoongi grumbles like an old man and you can’t help but to laugh. “Just ten more minutes.”

When you woke up the next morning, you were so thankful Yoongi had kept his promise. Your apartment was flawless and you were as clean as you could be. The tulips looked prettier today as the sun shined on the delicate petals. You even had time to warm the seaweed soup he brought from home and you couldn’t wait to get a taste. The smell alone is delicious and it warmed your home up nicely, you truly couldn’t wrap your head around the fact that this was no longer a dream but your reality. You could definitely get used to this. 

You drop kisses onto his warm cheeks until his eyes flutter open, almost similar to a cat. “There you are.”

Yoongi pulls you into his arms again with quiet noncoherent grumbles and closes his eyes once more. “Give me ten minutes.”

“It’s already been ten.” You whisper lightly laughing. 

“Oh. Ten more then.” You get comfortable on his chest and cuddle for a bit longer because you can’t say no to his cute sleepy self. 

Yoongi starts to sniff the air with curiosity. “Is that the seaweed soup I brought you?” 

“Mhm.” You hum. “Better get up soon before it burns.” 

That manages to be convincing enough and Yoongi forces himself up, with you in his embrace. 

“Wanna wake up like that forever.” He says, voice filled with sleep. 

“You can.” 

Yoongi snaps his heavy eyes towards you. “Are you–”

“Move in with me, Yoongi.” Yes, you skipped every step to this, but nothing was ever to code between you and Yoongi. One thing you were so sure of and that was spending the rest of your life with him. “Please.”

“I- yes, of course.” Yoongi wraps his arms around you for a tight hug, kissing your temple. “I love you. I love you and I’ll prove it to you every single day.” 

“I know, I love you too. I love you.” Those three words come out from your mouths so easily and it’s nice that you no longer have to ever hold back. The man of your dreams is in the palms of your humble home and he’s in love with you. This was better than any dream. 

“Let’s eat?” He says after some time of hugging and kisses being interchanged. 

You nod, letting him take you there. Your kitchen is filled with the cruel aroma of food and your tummy rumbles as you sit comfortably while you wait for him to serve you a bowl of the warm tasty soup. 

“I should be doing that. I’m a terrible host.” Yoongi shakes his head while smiling, the fluff of hair moving with him, then your phone dings. “Hold on, give me a second.” 

Your heart drops when you see it is a Tinder notification from a man you promised to get back to. You look over to find Yoongi serving your bowl, making his way to the table. He leans in puckering slightly and you immediately lean into the sweet sudden kiss while he places your meal in front of you. This Yoongi is new because it wasn’t often you could act domestically towards one another, however this was perfect and just what you needed. 

“Everything okay baby?” Yoongi asks while caressing your soft cheek and you immediately nod in his palm. 

“Yes, everything’s perfect.” You reply in awe. “Thank you Yoongi, for everything.”

For letting me love you and for loving me back. 

The older man just smiles and joins you for the meal. 

It turns out you didn’t need Tinder after all. 

You quickly delete the app off your phone and start to eat with the love of your life, conversation flows while you enjoy each other’s presence and fall deeper in love. 

Alike Yoongi, you couldn’t imagine it happening any other way. You were bound to fall in love, one way or another, but that man was meant to be yours as you were meant to be his.

#yoongi fanfic #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #bts fanfic #yoongi x reader #bts fluff #bts x y/n #yoongi x y/n #yoongi x you #bts smut

[aquaquadrant]

literally just zoomed through yalls htp au and i havent seen anyone talk about it but i find it SO interesting how Bravo, who is supposed to be the GOOD overworlder, is rather prideful and honestly just a dick while Tango, supposedly his EVIL counterpart, is just the sweetest guy. i cant imagine how Tango is derived from the worst parts of Bravo, if im understanding hels correctly. Tango is such a good person, while Bravo is rude to everyone with the worst attitude. it was just something i picked up so quickly. if the universe put him in hels in the first place, there must be a reason why the universe swapped his place with his overworld counterpart.

on another note! with the release of secret life, and what we've seen so far, how do you think htp!tango would fare in this new killing game? i cant help but imagine that with the entire gimmick being keeping secrets that he would be rather stressed, knowing he had hidden stuff from his friends already-- lying doesnt make him feel like a good person (but he isnt supposed to be that, some small part of him is whispering, knowing hes from hels, is all of the "bad" parts of bravo)

anyways! this is all i will be able to think of for the rest of the week /vpos and i hope you (and everyone who may be reading this at any given time) have a great rest of spooky month!

well THANK YOU this was a lovely message to receive, and i’m glad you’re enjoying the au ^^

i’ve talked a little bit about this here and there, but i’ll never pass up the chance to ramble more. there are a few key things about bravo and tango that make them different from the average overworld-hels pair.

ANALYSIS/RAMBLE BELOW

first off, most of what we’ve seen of tango has been set during double life, which is ten years after he escaped hels, so he’s had ten years of growth. we see very little of him before this, and in those scenes he’s got the benefit of being largely alone. the only player he interacts with is xisuma, who tango immediately realizes he needs to ‘trick.’ so his interaction with x in part one isn’t how tango would’ve interacted with virtually any other player in hels at that time.

we see from the flashback in part five that younger pre-hels tek tango was borderline feral- he chose to attack atlas on sight instead of trying to hide, or leave before he was seen, or even see why atlas was there. now, atlas wins him over fairly quickly because tango is young and naive and secretly craving positive interaction, but even in that brief interaction tango is a bit more prideful than his older self. that, of course, got beaten out of him at hels tek.

bravo, on the other hand, we follow closely during his ten years in hels. when he first arrives in part two, he’s a little snide and privately judgemental, sure, but he starts out perfectly decent towards timmy. he tries to maintain that civility and ‘niceness’ as he interacts with more and more hels players, but gradually loses his willpower as he gets beaten down and frustrated, even losing his temper. and after he fully snaps and gets his first kills, he all but abandons the notion of being ‘nice’, though privately he still thinks of himself as inherently better than hels players (atlas’s manipulation certainly doesn’t help matters, either).

but perhaps the biggest point is to look at what traits tango actually got from bravo, and that would be his rage. bravo is most similar to tango when he’s angry; his first little temper tantrum in part two is where it’s best illustrated, because all instances after that have been influenced by his time in hels. but you’ll notice that we have yet to see tango truly angry in the HTP series (he did revert back to an almost feral mindset when the ranch got attacked, but that was an instinctive defense mechanism. there was no conscious thought behind those decisions, and they were purely fueled by fear, not anger). that will be where his ‘hels’ really shines through.

there’s one other bravo trait amplified in tango that i haven’t revealed yet. it’s something that tango has figured out how to sort of ‘mask’ via other more acceptable coping mechanisms- if you can call it that- and actually forms a fairly significant part of his personality. stay tuned :3

as for secret life, it’d be a complicated situation for sure. on one hand, their goals are less outright malicious- just complete the tasks and try to survive (at least for now). in a way, it almost takes away accountability for their actions if they turn out to be harmful- “i had to, it was my secret task!” so that’s nice to fall back on. but still, tango would be very on edge. not only with the discomfort of having to lie to his friends, but never knowing if they’re lying to him, too. boi’s got them trust issues fr.

#hels to pay au #HTP ask #mmmmm I LOVE CHARACTER ANALYSIS #thank u for the opportunity to ramble

[steelycunt]

ten books 2 know me!

thank for you the tag @pancakehouse @fruity-individual @serethereal @rollercoasterwords !

-> skulduggery pleasant, derek landy.

starting with this one because this WAS my childhood i was. i never read percy jackson never read twilight read [redacted] and it wasnt even good but my dad thought id like these so he bought me the first skulduggery pleasant one day...oh man oh boy...these were. i was eight queuing up outside a whsmith with a schoolbag full of books for the author's booksigning...also he was so nice ta derek x

-> giovanni's room, james baldwin.

cannot get into this too much before i start wailing and biting and stuff but well. giovanni's room is my favourite book of all time i read most of it. last year in june laying on brighton beach while the sun was going down and i have never recovered from and will you bring me home again / yes. i'll bring you home again since and fear i never will. also! first james baldwin book i read who has come to be an author whose writing style i adore and carry in my mind whenever i try to write something myself.

-> young mungo, douglas stuart.

not the first book i ever cried at but. first book i ever experienced disgusting full body sobs while reading and fierce competitor also for. my favourite book. had to reread so much of those final pages because i couldnt concentrate with all the crying and after that i am so excited to never have to experience the physical chest-aching worry that i did for the duration of reading this. also i think the very quiet way love is written here through. very trivial small things is something i loved very much and that has stayed with me!

-> wuthering heights, emily bronte.

read this when i was about eleven, and then again a few weeks ago with my mum (whose favourite book it is) and it was still so. absolutely sickening i just think its excellent xx and without it we wouldn't have kate bush's 1978 single wuthering heights so xx think on that xx

-> the autobiography of malcom x, alex haley.

when i was a child my younger sister joined a sunday league football team and my dad used to give her a tenner every time she scored a goal. to even things out since i refused to get up at the arsecrack of dawn to contract hypothermia on a frozen football pitch, he started giving me books exclusively on malcolm x to read and would give me a tenner every time i finished one. this one was the first i read and was indeed the first book that ever made me cry at the end xx

-> my brilliant friend, elena ferrante.

so many of these are recent reads because it was only jan 2022 that i made a genuine effort to get back into reading for leisure and mbf is no different but well. the way friendship is written here is just unhinged and incredible and the series in general so far has been. there is nothing like it i fear

-> the raven boys, maggie steifvater.

gansey unfortunately.

-> macbeth, william shakespeare.

okay i know i know but. when you are studying it in englit class for your gcse it might as well be a book innit. anyway of all the texts i did for english both at gcse + a level macbeth is still my favourite and probably the most effort i ever put into an english essay. special shoutout to frankenstein which i can enjoy in hindsight but unfortunately it fucked me on the exam so out of bitterness it doesnt get a place here x

-> the secret history, donna tartt.

i did inhale this book but also it gets a place purely for being my first exposure to donna tartt's writing and style in general which is so very distinctive and has. undoubtedly had an effect on me for better or for worse we shall one day see but for now. who can say!

-> foster, claire keegan.

it is a little pamphlet of a book at eighty six pages but. i read it just over a month ago and havent properly stopped thinking about it since it was just everything quiet + mundane + understated that makes my brain start sparking and whirring and. im bringing it on holiday in the summer so i can read it again in the appropriate season xx

tagging. but no pressure. @gaewaren @dykefever @emerqldv @fastasyoucan1999 @forlorngarden @writteninverses @boyjoan !!

#also it doesnt quite earn a place but the enemy series by charlie higson? no one ever seemed to read those but that was my fucking last of #us. that was my mazerunner. that was my dystopian YA (bar the hunger games okay yeah i was a hunger games girl wasnt everyone) #considered putting the beatles in their generation on here but managed to avoid it thank god. also no future by matthew worley #which was a dense slog into british punk as a politics and youth subculture but also well i learned a lot about my favourite topic #tag game #reading tag #will b fun to see how i would do this a little while on from now. like what maintains its spot + what gets bumped n stuff

[trainingdummyrabbit]

Hey, I know you're a Projmoon fan, I guess I'm curious because I'm at an impasse on what to do rn, did you play through the entirety of Lobotomy Corporation, did you just skip it entirely for Ruina, or did you read a summary/watch a cutscene compilation or let's play/something else? And what would you recommend as an approach? I've tried playing through Lobcorp but it's just extremely tedious and I'm considering skipping it to get to something I think I'll like more (Ruina)

oh!! ok my answer is a little bit complicated tbh; bc i havent. played any of the series at all. WAHAHA

what i personally did was um. attempt to watch an incomplete lobcorp lp ==> couple months radio silence ==> watched one (1) day of gameplay from a friend (for one boss fight specifically) ==> got recc'd summaries i slowly watched thru ==> couple months radio silence. ==> watched someone else's (actually complete) lp ==> (rabbit hole'd) summaries again.

um. dont do that. JSNBGKHDBK

im not gonna act like i Know how t tackle a series like this (since it took me like 4 circles around to Actually Commit to it (and also im kind of. new. here)) BUT from my personal opinion of the series and how it carries itself, i CAN recc at least Some order of something.

TRY to play Lobcorp! which i can kinda see is already done on your end. its something i Super want to try but absolutely know i wont finish SKJFNKDJF;; the main draw of PLAYING lobcorp is the struggle. it Sucks! its Long and Tedious and the game HATES you... and that's the point! it's plot relevant. it's an experience i didnt get to feel, but can so painfully just Understand by merit of watching someone else do it, only skipping about occasionally. tl;dr: the game loop is Telling A Story, Dragging You In-- THAT is the draw in insisting folks play it. it genuinely makes the... everything... hit that much harder. Once youve given it your best, dont feel ashamed to look for someone who's Done It! (i hear a lot of folks havent completed lobcorp themselves, so ✌) DONT UM . SKIP IT COMPLETELY THOUGH ruina is literally a Direct Sequel to it. i think it does a good enough job at introducing the setting on its own, but i am GRABBING YOU this shit will hit fucking DIFFERENT if you Understand. also its a lovely game worth looking at and appreciating bc GOD what a fucking experience those last few days are. i do not cry that easily to stuff like this but OUGH. AUGH. H

Wonderlab??? its a webcomic thats heavily reccommended you read through, but due to um. circumstances . it doesnt seem t be feasible atm. however, there IS a synopsis up thats pretty darn good! wonderlab, iirc, isn't directly plot relevant, but DOES introduce certain important concepts for ruina. however, it's not Mandatory, as ruina Also explains these things. as far as i know, its just a fun lil kickass story in the universe taking place between series you can look at if you want :)

Play Ruina! or watch, i guess. again, i watched an lp and it kicked the shit out of me emotionally (affectionate) so honestly do what you will here, i suppose.

honestly though, these are both super fucking long-ass and ridiculously heavy games so you're probably gonna be here a while. it took me like two weeks of committed watch time t look into Properly, and that was even when i started skipping straight to cutscenes at the latter half. embrace that! i cant stop you, but id heavily reccommend at the very least watching through the gameplay loop for a good chunk of the time-- giving the story that space really hammers home the... Everything. heavily heavily recc letting it Have that space.

for ruina specifically though, definitely at least watch through the beginning and ending legs of every fight-- and at least a solid chunk of every boss fight. if you're intent on skipping round gameplay loops like i did, imean. watch the boss fights watch the boss fights these fuckers do NOT play around. i cannot applaud these games' soundtracks enough and i wont say anything but trust me trust me trust me.

ANYWAY. here's the stuff that was recc'd to me, personally! if you wanna give watching through the series a go! :]

Lobcorp LP: [x] (Commentated+Completed! I couldn't find any no-commentary ones that were finished, but honestly for its gameplay loop it Helps. Blind on his end, but he does genuinely really like the series so i give it a thumbs up ✌) Ruina LP: [x] (Same guy :] also completed!) Lobcorp SUMMARY: [x] (Brief, but a good opener+summary!) Wonderlab SUMMARY: [x] (It Sure Is Wonderlab!!) Ruina SUMMARY: [x] [x] (Actually incomplete, but goes pretty well in depth and is easy to watch+absorb.) Alt SUMMARY: [x] (Consists of both parts of the duology! I haven't actually watched it in a while so i don't exactly remember much t say about it, but it sure is on my list!)

#TAG ESSAY BUT ITS IMPORTANT ACTUALLY HI <33 #pikasks #long post #speaking only what i know and feel from th short amount i can speak for!!!!!! #VERY VERY good game series though when it hits it fucking HITS. #its just 'im in hell im in hell im in hell im in hell-- OH FUCK.' #transitioning to a slightly more jaded 'ah. hell. --OH FUCK.' #ANYWAY. for lobcorp; abnormality lore isnt PLOT IMPORTANT but it IS very very fun storytelling so if you like fun spooky stuff. nods. #again-- do what you will and what you think is most fun-- this is just what i think would have th most impact! #for me tho watching the summaries THEN the gameplay helped a lot bc i do Not retain info well at ALL #. i also get really stressed when characters are in danger and i dont know what will happen to them so that helped there too KSJNFKJD #again. heavy heavy series but if its your speed its SO worth it. #ALLSO THERES CONTENT WARNINGS HI YEAH theres an image available but tbh most of it isnt that bad. #EXCEPT ONE INSTANCE. if you dont wanna know when dont read ahead BUT #REALLY HEAVY BODY HORROR AND GORE WARNING for one specific part of ruina-- nothing good happens on trains. <3 #it builds up to it very well so you can see it coming p easy-- no jumpscares-- but YEA THAT BODY SURE CAN HORROR. #THATS ALL. OK. HAVE FUN <33

[demadogs]

Do you have any favorite international films or shows? Is there any scene or quote from anything show/film/novel ect. That has stuck with you?

my favorite show of all time is german! dark!! its a netflix original and its about time travel and its my favorite show on the planet and i’ll never get over it. theres SO many quotes from that show that have stuck with me. the entire meaning behind “a glitch in the matrix” was changed to me after i watched it. it just really changed the way i look at life i love that show with all my heart.

i watch so many foreign shows and movies actually. one of my other all time favorite shows is cable girls which is a spanish netflix original. its about these girls who work at a telephone company in late 1920s madrid. god i love that show. ive also watched elite (also spanish), young royals (swedish), and im currently SO EXCITED for the mini series adaptation of the book all the light we cannot see. that one will be a mix of german and french, its about a german boy training to be a nazi and a blind french girl. AND THE ACTOR FROM DARK IS PLAYING THE GERMAN MAIN CHARACTER!!!!!! GAH I CANT WAIT TO SEE IT!!!!!

as for movies i think my favorite foreign film ever is portrait of a lady on fire (french). thats probably my favorite lesbian story ive ever watched on screen. its set in the 1800s and theres literally like one man in the whole movie and his only line is bonjour its PERFECT. i need to watch it again.

another classic that i never get tired of is parasite (korean). its one of those international films that has become mainstream in america too AS IT SHOULD bc that movie is so fucking fantastic. its such a brilliant story i LOVE it. if any of you reading this still havent watched it please do. i think its the best oscar winning best picture ive ever seen.

for other quotes/scenes that have stuck with me, definitely the entirety of dark but also the book we all looked up. i read it when i was 16 and its still in my top 3 favorite books of all time. its about a meteor hitting earth in a month and how 5 high school kids who barely know each other all cope with the fact. theres this one scene the day before it hits where one of the main characters asks them to tell them a philosophy and give them a reason for why this is happening and he tells this whole story and i just love it so much. something i also fucking love about that book is that the very first sentence in the book is “its not the end of the world” but that line was just referring to a test that they failed. it was said before the meteor was even discovered. I LOVE SHIT LIKE THAT. i didnt even notice it until the second time i read it.

#me any time i think of any book ive ever read: i need to reread that #eden answers

[kithtaehyung]

i havent been able to check the last 3tan fall drabble yet, especially with the busan concert 😩 so ive been avoiding your blog so to not get spoilers

but i just saw your word count for 3tan9 (forfeit?) and i just wanna say how excited i am! i cant imagine how much of an effort it is demanding from you, since you never give us nothing short of perfect, and im so grateful! it comes as no surprise you would want a break after it lol 😅, but yeah idk, just felt like thanking you! thank you to put in so much thought, to share so much of your process with us (im so happy whenever you talk about how your writing has been going), to engage so much with us and play along with our theories and our craziness, to write such great pieces and fics and storylines and arcs and developments and dynamics and urghhhhh EVERYTHING 🥺🥺😭

im sure the chapter will be amazing and super 😫🥰🥵🤠🙈 in a good way!!

you're really good to us, and i hope you can really enjoy your rest while you watch us screaming in your inbox 😂 u got an army right behind u too

btw ik im sappy as hell, damn, always reaching out with long ass asks and shit, sorry, i think im still on the edge cause of the show but that excuse only goes so far

anyways, thanks 😊

LUA you're gonna make me melt more and more with every message you send. every sentence, really. i'm just teary eyes rn i'm lucky i took pics before seeing this bc it finished me!!

it's okay! the drabble will still be there whenever you're ready to read. no rush at all, just enjoy when you can :D

forfeit is gonna be humongous omfg. and to make sure all of it is worth the wait, i do admit that it's a bit stressful on top of being just fun and comforting to write<3 it's been 3 months since the last major drop, so i feel like this needs to be super good! the break is gonna be muuuch needed :'))

oh my gosh, it's never dealing with y'all! i love interacting. it's a joy not a chore. thank you for being here with me and sending all the theories and encouragement and whatever else, truly. it makes my day to see y'all caring about this series as much as i do. tbh i had a little moment today in my car, just overwhelmed with how grateful i am to have bangtan, and 3tan, and y'all in my life. this year has been absolutely incredible and i can't believe i'm just now stopping to reflect on it.

just like in fireworks, when reader says being nostalgic for the same moment you're living? that's how i feel now. because the moments we're living now are my favorites.

i can't even describe how your army comment made me feel. just.. thank you. reaching out to hug you so tight🫂 y'all mean the world to me, and i know i say that often but i really do mean it.

sappiness makes me melt!! thank you for sending this bc i needed it. you're amazing, you know that?

#gosh you are a gem ARGHHH #lua! #lovely people #calm tag #asks:3tan #*ryenfictalk #mailbox💌 #3tan9 #long post

[bbboar]

@boogerwookiesugarcookie asked me to answer ALL of the end of year asks so here we go! Thanks Naja!

Going to put it under a readmore bcs long

1.Song of the year? Dream Girl Evil by Florence and the Machine So nice of Miss Florence to make a song thats not only a bop but also specifically the theme song for my oc Hydrangea

2.Album of the year? I don't listen to many full albums but for me it would have to be a tie between Give me the Future by Bastille and Impera by Ghost 3.Favorite musical artist / group you started listening to this year? Ghost 4.Movie of the year? Everything Everywhere All At Once! Like i don't even need to think about it. Unlike anything ive ever seen, so interesting and heartwearming. Excellent performances and costuming 5.TV show of the year? Oh man this one is touh bcs i had 3 shows ive been obsessed with this year…. Our Flag Means Death, Severance or Interview with the Vampire 6.Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you? Not defined the year but the best ep of anything ive seen this year was the the season finale ep of Severance. It was so excellent at keeping up the tension for the entirety of the ep. I was pacing and yelling and restless for the full length of it. Just amazing storytelling of everything coming to a head and the editing...my god!!!

7.Favorite actor of the year? I don't care that much about actors to have a fave of the year 8.Game of the year? I was a teenage exocolonist. Just finished my 4rth playthrough and i think i may have 2 more in me bc i want to see different outcomes/choices 9.Best month for you this year? Idk they sorta all blend into one? But December is when i have 2 weeks off work and also the weather is beautiful and sunny so im going to say that and not think about it too much.

10.Something that made you cry this year? A friend was never available to see me despite my multiple attempts to meet up and even though i didnt mind for a lot of it, eventually it started hurting my feelings. 11.Something you want to do again next year? Go on a mini vacation. I took a week off work to visit friends in Tasmania and i think i would be nice to visit some other place next year as well. 12.Talk about a new friend you made this year? I think we'd chatted a little on twitter and also possibly met irl once? But anyway yeah i formally met and befiended the partner of a friend and we rly got along! 13.How was your birthday this year? I went to this super expensive viking themed restaurant ive wanted to go to since 2019! Food, drinks, service, all excellent. I was dressed to the nines in my sequin dress and after i went for a little night walk around the city. It was gr8! 14.Favorite book you read this year? A nobleman's guide to scandals and shipwrecks by Mackenzi Lee. The Montague siblings series is such easy reading for me so i had a fun time! 15.What’s a bad habit you picked up this year? Forgetting to take my acne medication but i also took steps to prevent that so were good now 16.Post a picture from the beginning of the year Actually the first pic i took in 2022

17.Post a picture from the end of the year

Food from yesterday (27/12/22)

18.A memorable meal this year? Oh i already mentioned my birthday dinner so instead ill mention the brunch i made for my friends when i visited them in Tasmania.I was going to make eggs, bacon, homemade flatbread and some other stuff but my time management was off and it took me sooo long to make everything.In the end it was more like a lunch than brunch^^; But everyone was so patient with me and in the end the food was yummy and everyone liked it and we played dnd and had a great time :) 19.What’re you excited about for next year? Going to be getting a new phone and also....idk i havent made any big plans but i look forward to the little moments of joy and indulgence that will come. 20.What’s something you learned this year? Im sure theres life stuff i learned but what im psyched about is learning how to make scones. Its so freakin easy!!! 21.What’s something new about your place of residence (room, home, or general location) now vs the start of the year? After living here for about a year,i decided to finally put shit up on the walls of my room.Paintings and fairy lights and i plan on having a little colection of magpie prints too.It rly lifted my mood and brightened up the space. 22.Favorite place you visited this year? Oh man i was just stoked to visit Tasmania and see friends! I need to travel more bcs i love seeing new places. 23.If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be? Do not catastrophise when someone upsets you. Just sleep on it and then act. People sometimes are stupid and thoughtless,not secretly malicious. 24.Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? I usually have a few and some years i end up completing them, other years i dont. This year my only resolution is to comment on people's art more. Thats fucken it. 25.Did you create any characters (in games, art, or writing) this year? Describe one. Many actually bcs aside from various ocs, i run some trp games where i make 10+ npcs for. I guess one would be Winnie an npc i made for a game who i put so little thought in. Like i needed a character to fullfill a certain role so i recycled an old oc design and gave her like 2 personalty traits. Then though as we played, we all ended up liking her way more than id planned so anyway now she's in the queue to be an upcoming pc for a dnd campaign (with a slight redesign)

#boblabla

[narwhalandchill]

Tag game: Current

got tagged by @begaydoalchemy !! thank u !!

- Current time: 9:45 (AM for you US peeps smh)

- Current activity: finished up prefarming blades traces to 6/8/8/8. double calyx drops events is a godsend. was listening to a video essay on the bg but the favorite song section made me go listen to stiny on repeat again bc i love inflicting emotional damage on myself so i guess thats what.

- Currently thinking about: so theres this person in the hsr leaks subreddit megathread doing daily renheng insanity ponderings since blades trailer dropped and ive been just losing my mind ever since reading them. anyway i wanted everyone here to get to see them too but didnt wanna repost em bc its just kinda ehhhh to do so. here u go!! suffer with me!!! click the links theres all 3!!! (spoilery warning tho. idr how many leaks refs there are in there exactly but expect some at least)

- Current favorite song: spotify most listened to top5 currently looking like NEON by raon, kissaki by reol, wildfire, cha cha cha (we will never forgive xx swedes watch out) and stiny from KALUSH & jerry heil.

but like let me be clear the only reason reol isnt number 1 is bc the full version of the song only came out like 2 weeks ago and the earlier released shorter anime ver of kissaki is literally 7th on the list.

- Currently reading: ...i mean mostly just renheng fanfic but uhhh. i did read where the crawdads sing from delia owens (just plucked it out from the bookshelf randomly bc i was bored) a month or so back. it was neat but no like particular strong feelings abt it. it was very well written and i liked the flow of the prose a lot. also waiting for crooked kingdom to get a finnish translation bc i got six of crows in finnish and i dont do book series as mixed language sets generally. (also the translation work itself was just like an absolute fucking banger with the imagery and metaphors used like chef kiss)

- Currently watching: no particular show (last thing was when i rewatched fmab a couple months ago) going on but like. random video essays or informative stuff on yt honestly and its mostly for bg noise.

- Current favorite character: gee i wonder. dan heng (past editions included), blade, (big gap here bc i tunnel vision on characters), bailu, luocha, jing yuan i think for specific ones from hsr for now. am looking out for jingliu and fu xuan too i need to study them. in genshin its like. yeah its mr childe ajax tartaglia all the way but i kinda just havent been feeling it for the game much so eh. tighnari, kazuha up there too n arlecchino obvi.

- Current WIPS: what kind of productive person do you take me for??? ig i like. opened word this week to type out some random passage drafts for a ficlet type thing relating to the post i made a while back abt belobogs temperatures wrt dan hengs potential terrible, horrible, no good, very bad scalie time with it but do Not expect any results from that or anything i s2g. ive finished one fic in my life and that was half poetry half madness full one sitting and be done with it type deal

im sorry i have no idea who to tag so like. anyone who wants to do it feel free, mutuals or followers!!! :]

#rambles #this was my first tag game thing ever would u believe. it was fun :]

[salvatoreren]

guess who's back about to destroy her life once again for the sake of letting a few loose thoughts hereee

ANYWAYS SO MANY HAS HAPPENED IN THESE LAST FEW MONTHS AND HONESTLY IDK IF IT SHAPED ME OR ONLY TRAUMATIZED ME KJDFHGJ

apparently i like taylor swift now and me coming back for speak now tv to rant is proof of tha, I JS WANNA SAY IM SO SORRY FOR THAT I HATE TAYLOR SWIFT PHASE, she's literally my top artist now, im so sorry taylor, never again, i dont deserve you

oh and apparently i like game of thrones too, along with hot d which is actually good because my writing actually got better watching them do these deep ass dialogue, it was fun, im either team green or team black bcus imo they both suck, im team strong boys

OH AND I LIKE JJK NOW MOST SURPRISING THING IN 2023, LIKE IT WAS NEVER FOR ME YK? BUT IG IT'S BECAUSE I FORCED IT ON MYSELF WATCHING IT, anyways a megumi edit got me through it, which is rlly cool because he was the only reason i ever watched the series omg so yeah and even when the yk what happened in the manga happened I WAS SO SHOCKED, tbh it was only a matter of time OH AND I READ THE MANGA AND IM IN PAIN OKAY

JJK S2 IS OUT TOO! I APPARENTLY WATCHED THE LEAKED VERSION IDGHJKLJF, THE SUBS WERE WELL SOO UNHINGED MY GOD BUT OMG THE OP AND THE ENDING WAS SOO COOL, THE ENDING PARTICULARLY SOSO CHILL, also i used to think gojo was overrated which is imo true but seeing his thought processes in the manga in his past arc and so on made me change my perspective, what im saying is i actually love his CHARACTER

like hellooo no one is allowed to take youth's youth??? WHAT HAPPENED TO U BB WHO HURT U, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN HIS TIME IN HIS CLAN OR SMTH

i still love eren ofc that never changed, still in tokrev ig im working myself tirelessly on this fic and yeah totally not wanting to kms bcus of it, the ending was a double-edged sword and i liked it tbh but i do acknowledge it has its flaws and doesnt have the best ending, tokrev has so many loose ends, i wish wakui had an assistant to keep him on track like yo i think u forgot to mention this or resolved it and i wish he had more time to work on it but im very grateful for this series bcus it quite literally saved my life.

and yeah i havent gotten into much either i keep visiting my old fandoms bcus im safe with them and then i get burnt out bcus im bitching how it's not the same kjdhbsgj but i am watching shadow and bone it doesnt appeal to me much but hoping i will anways

YEAH IM BACK, cant exactly say ive changed lots either ig, i still dont see it, my character development is nonexistent, i do think my old self here needed to chil kjdshgkjhg, she hated everything and yeah that sucks but ik i lowk i have a changed perspective after actually seeing my friends after the quarrantine and all that, able to feel what human interaction is and it was fun and i touched grass and stared at the sun lots so yeah,

but im actually going to distance myself lotsss in tumblr now, like not interacting much with ppl so i dont get burn out and go batshit crazy, not that i did in the beginning but i always looked for smth to hate so it's all on me, im the problem, but yeah doing it so i dont get burn out and leave again and totally going to have lots of breaks with it

#hey guys #im back #shane stuff

[deathberi]

Hello hello dear Eri!!! Coming late here, my week was crazy and busy as hell! How was your week? Hopefully a peaceful one 🥰 weekend work duties sounds terrible, i hope you can get some rest as often as you want despite that! Yesss you're right, it's more pleasant to go out during your days offs when it's during the week instead of weekends! There really is less people in the streets, and i'm living in a big city, it's really more enjoyable! But i can't see my family as often as i want because we have different schedules and weekends! that's the most annoying thing...

Ohh yes it's always sad to notice little things that we dislike in series we really really like! I'm more the kind of person who likes so so much a serie and will act blind about things I dislike :') honestly I think i should rewatch/reread bleach before watching the last season, it's really been a while since I read the end

I do not have any patience too, recently I'm I thinking about reading blue lock so bad, but I love watching the anime, and I know if i'm starting to read i will lose interest for the anime ; that's also why I havent started to read Kaguya yet because i really enjoy the anime, also I already have watched 3 seasons so I guess I can wait more and no read 🤷‍♀️

Gosh I saw all the hate about the end of tokrev, and even before, when the last arc has started to be published. It's astounding. People absolutely didn't get it, and they were spreading hate on twitter and elsewhere, before and now! I was almost 100% sure it was gonna end well for mikey, at least ; i desired to see everyone be saved but I wouldn't have imagined how it would have became possible and I'm very glad how the end has turned unexpected but good! And yes I feel the same, those who spread hate about tokrev are those who haven't read the manga, properly, they were just here because it was popular or something. Because if you properly read it you can easily guess that it will end happily? It was the goal of Takemichi!!! Ngl the rushed part it's something sad to me, but I wonder if that didn't happen because of the editors? Same for bleach i think, it was very popular so the editor asked for more and then it has lost in popularity and wanted Tite Kubo to end his manga? No sure about it tho

Dhjsjs i totally get what you mean!! And it's working in the other way too, I can like a serie more than characters from it themselves, idk if it makes sens bdbsjs

Oh i guessed right about ichiruki, i mean fortunately ; i dont know much about dragon ball/ and digimon but as I can see, seems like you adore these ships a lot!! 👀👀 I totally get it!!! Deuteragonist, the best type fr, i like main characters but if they're at their best it's essentially thanks to the second mains isn't it? 💁‍♀️

Actually i haven't, i've only checked your fav but not your watching/reading list shsjs oh so I'll definitely recommend you to give a try to sakamoto day, I'm pretty sure you'll like or at least i hope so!! Ousama ranking is definitely a cute one ; I've watched it during a sad period of my life during this year and idk, it has cheered me up somehow

Okay okay okay I totally get it for one piece ; tbh I've started it something like 10 years ago and I paused it nearby chapter 600 (like you) FOR YEARS, before I caught up a year ago after rewatching everything! If by chance, even the tiniest, you desire to follow one piece again then, then I'd love to talk about it with you djsks 👀💖

Have a good weekend Eri, next time I'll try to come earlier here🧡

hi santa!! omg dw about it i understand life can get crazy busy on the most random moment. i’ve had pretty chill weeks lately and yep totally get you with enjoying big cities during less peak days and hours but also sacrificing the usual common sched with the fam and friends. i actually live away from most of my fam and now i’m answering late cuz they called me for a month long vacation (not that i’ll be really entirely free, i’m working remotely so i can go anywhere if i wanted to without taking much leaves, but this time theres lotsa travel involved plus it’s too long to leave my pc so i had bring stuff and set up here and there) and it started with a long beach trip!

ah i wish i could do that but no, i’ll be hating every single thing i dislike about it…while still consuming every single piece of media lmfao. i would suggest you at least reread some stuff if you plan to watch this latest one. i get annoyed when i see people over glorifying this latest season without even remembering shit from manga and everything that happened before this arc 😂

the top of my mind says anything comedic and not too plot heavy, i can stay anime only/first! i can see how that works well with kaguya. blue lock stuff is everywhere but still i havent started watching it 🫣

yeah they were just on tokrev for its popularity. tokrev twt is too loud you just know majority never looked at the source content and just out there for the clout lol. and each time wakui kills one i just go “ok youve done it again but if they dont end up happy im burning your house” 🤣 cuz how can it not end that way that’ll be like basically throwing away everything takemichi did. ahhh, editor issues. idk if there was any of that in tokrev as i stayed away from tokrev twt aside from a few fanartists, but yeah so much with bleach things were a mess

thats totally possible true! i can like this one for the overall stuff that it is. hehe if someone calls this a ship blog i wouldn’t deny it 🤣 my solid shipping shenanigans happen when theres a resident grumpy boy i can perfectly pair with the best girl (and picking girly favs does not happen as often as simply picking best boy deuteragonists). thats true!! in my kid and teen years i’ve auto focused on the second mains without batting an eyelash but now my appreciation for sunshine protags have gone up but that also means i’ve paid much attention to them now to enforce they couldnt be whatever they are without the grumpy babes 😂

they do sound great! thanks for the recs im definitely taking them. for op i feel like i just need the right push to pick it up fully again as we all know it would take some effort and commitment? 😂 (ack maybe cuz i have no ship in it and no one’s grumpy enough for my tastes 🤣)

thank you santa! you too have a great week ahead! til next time~ ^^

#asks #animangasecretsanta 2022

[anarchistbitch]

hiiiiiiiiii, god this is a over a month late and im SO FUCKING sorry, seriously im sorry, idk why this took me so long, i kept thinking about replying and then i just didnt, again, im really sorry :(

honestly last semester ended up being a disaster, but not a major one, this one is shaping up to be better tho today i had an exam and i feel like i answered some questions somewhat confidently but others were a guessing game 🤡🥴 and i really have no one to blame but myself for it (then again initially she told us they were going to be essay questions and i THRIVE in those, but then they were content specific questions which i was not prepared for) but oh well it cant be helped now and we're allowed to retake our lowest grade at the end of the semester, now im watching sailor moon and eating a strawberry cheesecake ice cream sandwich to get rid of the ambiguity of my feelings over it sigh sigh sigh

fdjhsdfh my hands are always cold too, so it's hard to tell how i'd feel yours but the warm hug is lovely, lovely

i have not started cutie pie but it's been in my to watch list since the first episode came out cause i kept seeing tiktoks about it and it seemed really fun but agh, i havent gotten around to it, i swear i need divine inspiration to do even the things i want to do

in a better timeline benedict did join them and they lived their happy gay lives watching everyone else's drama from the comfort of their stable relationship

lmao relatable, i also left a bunch of shows abandoned bc of the aforementioned need for divine inspiration, i tried watching some middle episodes for a couple shows to like get myself hyped up to understand what was going on and all that but eh, didnt really work, and there's been a danmei draught so im laying on the floor facedown emotionally

about fire island kdjhdfh i handt heard of the place up until the movie, cant be helped, we're not form the us - i have not watched the lizzie bennet series but im adding it to my to-watch, since it's on youtube i might get around to it soon but i wont make any promises just yet sdfjhdjhf and GOD yes, the layers on the movie, i adored it really, you can see that the writers really do care about queer people and that it was written with love - Noah is FANTASTIC he's so real lmao djfjsdhfjdsh and same, when he said that i went 'oh, i see 👀' - i hope both our futures are filled with a loving community of queer people

[completely random: im watching yu-gi-oh rn bc that's what came on after sailor moon and bruh, yugi is short as fuck and i didnt remember that at all, it's also hilarious how they refer to kaiba as rich kid kaiba, it's really fucking hilarious but when i was little it kinda scared me and i can see why too]

i've been ignoring goodreads lmao and im not about to stop cause i really doubt i'll finish a single book this year, im severely blocked, i havent been reading any of the ones i've started, all i did was partially reread the raven boys bc i finally bought the physical book

homegirl does need a break but the only break to be had is my break from reading it :/ and yeah, high literature is fake, joy is the only true and trusted measuring tool

me and my friends have not gotten all together as of yet, it's hard when they have trimesters and i have semesters, our coinciding free times are only for the holidays and i go home for those but we're planning a sleepover soon to celebrate the beginning of their vacations and to cheer myself up after exam week, and one of them is coming over tomorrow so that we can try soju 😌✨

jdfhdfjshfks i'm too picky to align my foods with my favorite characters' tbh

my favorite soup is red bean soup, i must confess that i dont like many soups but i could eat this one every single day, it's so fucking good, also ik you said you'd want to make me egg drop soup, i havent tried it but the texture might be a problem for me, sorry :( but spinach and scream sounds hella good

ok so rn i cant think of bts without thinking of the fact that on the day of the heavy flood in korea namjoon posted a story about a song and with a caption somewhere along the lines of "perfect for the weather" and it was quite literally a parasite moment 🤡 but anyways, bad desicions was so damn good, and yeah, they've worked so damn hard to get to where they are that it's nice to see them have time to enjoy it

i cant fucking believe jin decided to spend his time working tho, what's going on that man's head 😭😭

i also hope other versions of us are closer to each other, i hope this reality's version of me can become better at managing her time and so can talk to you more often 😫💖

matching tattoos huh 👀💖

JDHSHDKJHSK i understand, fever is a hella good song, that's the exact emotion it invokes

mate i had no idea about holland's song 😭 i SUCK at keeping up with things, for most things i have friends in the fandom that come screaminng about news or at the very least post about it

idk if you already started the god of highschool or not but all i can say is that tho i bawled, when i watched it with a friend she didnt shed even a single tear lmao, it really depends on you

JDSGDJSGFJ it cant be helped now, you'll just have to treat yourself whenever you listen to it

anya is so important 😭😭😭😭😭😭 she is so amazing and she deserves to live as normal a life as possible but mainly it has to be a happy one

hmmm i wouldnt say that it's major plot important tbh, but it does have certain relevance for that moment so you'll see skjdhjs

i am also a sucker for cool art, i've read so many things just bc i liked the art style, and if i dont like the art style i have a harder time reading the work, which makes me get annoyed at myself tbh, it feel idk judgy ??? idk, it feels weird

i heard the live at jet studio version of every pore and holy shit, it's so damn beautiful and it felt like his voice was going directly through my chest

i really get that part about being in a weird headspace, life is so complicated at individual scale and currently there's so much going on in the world, it's like that post about how dealing with anxiety rn is so damn weird bc yes, all those fears are entirely too plausible but somehow we have to continue to push through, and burnout sucks, pretty sure ive been burntout since like early 2021 and only just now getting better bc well, to summarize, my parents expect me to graduate soon, which is absolutely not happening, which idk how to tell them and agh it's a cycle really

this is all just to say that i get how you feel, i hope you're feeling better now and if you'd like i can def come off anon so that we can talk more often [tho im not sure you DONT know who i am sgkshadkjsdg i havent really been hiding it lmao, just not being upfront about it bc im socially awkward as fuck]

sending you tons and tons and tons and toooooooons of love, hope you've had good soups and lots of rest, i hope you're hydrating yourself and interacting with lots of cats, i love you

-M<3

between us both, im pretty sure i answer asks much later than u😔 but as u said no matter if its a week or 9 months later , i'll wait for ya<3

ohh yea semester one is just wrapping up for us too and so far it has been less of a disaster than expected, and hope the exam came better than it went in!!![said this to a classmate before going for our term 1's and she gave me the saddest face ever😭😭] essay questions which are content specific are the bane of my life cause lemme tell you my examiner wrote like 10 lines with the reddest pen ever telling me what i needed to improve on while i was still reeling that i passed on that exam phew cause that many lines really make u think twice if u passed(<- wishing this on my worst enemies only).

sailor moon and ice cream sound absolutely delightful and the perfect way to heal after taking an exam [our principal literally goes through the exam hall for some reason and its. have u ever had ur heart beat like a horse?yea.]

me @ u always

[btw the number of gifs of hugs that ive saved in case u send an ask,,.ginormous]

yeeeee i stopped watching cutie pie in the middle cause my school life is a dragon that will bite if u slack off<3 capitalist ass dragon. but fr tho cutie pie is great!! the soundtracks are great too!! and oooh yea i think every ep after ep 6 are heavy on the steamy side

in a better timeline bridgerton would have not have a queer side plot that got quickly swept up under the rug and instead couldve had a storyline about bisexual benedict {im assuming cause 1) hes gives me bi vibes 2)nothing much else than that i think it'd be real neat 3)b is for bisexual and also the start of his first name and surname [:}

divine inspiration is better to not fall on me cause imma use it for evil reallll quick. watching the middle episode is a much better strategy than what i do: watch the finale and become the incarnation of the surprised pikachu meme. also insta reels made me think that "romanticizing" watching stuff would help and it kinda did before i realized that i have adhd symptoms<3 make space for me on the floor cause im laying next to u too🤗

side note: idk if u've ever done this but during summer vacations when i was younger all the women in the house after finishing up lunch would take straw mats and pillows and go to the most airiest room in the house and sleep , and its the best sleep ever. sleeping on the bare ground during summer quickest way to a 😴😴

no cause i recently reread rwarb and suddenly im seeing fire island being mentioned everywhere?? im not gonna blame anyone not studying about america/'s history not knowing american references[god bless genius annotators souls for their little notes cause half my us culture knowledge comes from fob lyrics akfhkdhfsk ]

YEs fire island was really great about how they took care of their characters, the exact scene's dialouge is fuzzy to me but the scene where noah and howie talk before howie leaves, about how theyre similar but are different and that does affect how others see them was one of the best scenes cause the actors portray it in a such an intimate way.

I HOPE QUEER PEOPLE SURROUND US AND THEY ARE LOVING AND WE'LL NEVER HAVE TO THINK TWICE ABOUT OUR SAFETY IN THE FUTURE[all caps cause we deserve it!! and its needs to be shouted from the rooftops!!]

nauurr is kaiba the emo kid from the reverse card meme😭😭😭

ive been looking sideways at goodreads dhksfhk and ive just been saving tons of insta posts about upcoming books so i can read them after my school year is over✌🏾 ive heard quite a lot about the raven boys but apparently theyre not actual ravens? L for the corvid enthusiasts👎🏾👎🏾/lh

sleepovers are fun but unfortunately id be the first to fall asleep😴

im days late but drink tons of water afterwards!!! ive heard that soju is high on alcohol content , and so eat something absorbing for the hangover like rice[ALSO! you know how in kdramas the characters are always eating congee? well i googled it to see the ingredients and its. kanji. its what i eat every weekend bro😭😭 but i do eat it cold during summer with curd and its really good for digestion too]

when i hear red beans i always think of rajma [kidney bean curry and good with naan/rice/roti],[ and ig now im gonna think of u whenever i hear red beans💜💗]

its fine if u dont like egg drop soup!! altho when i was a kid it was the soup™ i used to eat whenever we went out cause i was a picky eater lmao, spinach and cream is a good soup but my personal fav is so basic😭 i fucking love sweet corn soup man

yea no cause i genuinely forget that bts is made up of very rich ppl like 🧍‍♂️ i liked bad decisions a lot too!!

looking back at the past few years of bts' career and seeing the growth and rise in popularity of the general population , and then learning they were doing all this while also in COLLEGE and graduating with honours is. how do u say. humbling to the highest degree.like i cant imagine going to grammys and having a set career and then like having to go back to school.

kim seokjin the man that u are,,

uuughhh thinking about going on walks in parks and just TALKING WITH U

dont worry about taking ur time!!! hell can freeze over but ill still be on this app<3

matching tattoos<3 [also fr i have been thinking👁👁 of getting a tattoo of intertwined tattoos on my sternum but am very unsure of getting tattoos at all😓]

speaking of fever,dont know if ur big on insta edits but i have a ton saved just to listen to the audios on repeat

i . also forgot about it[holland's song]. need that divine intervention to make me focused .

OKAY SO I STARTED THE GOD OF HIGHSCHOOL AND I LOVE IT didnt thing i'd be crying at all but i shed a tear[locals will allege it was full on sobbing but who can say] im only halfway through so i didnt expect to be crying lol😄 anyway the fight scenes were so cool and the main character are such a great trio [also i did search it up on tumblr and im heard about a kim ilpyo👀👀]

[re: getting hungry by listening to gooey]getting pavlov'ed by a song. i have reached new lows /j

random side note#2: i think there should be an emoji for a man on his knees, not the prayer one, just in dejection like this image

anya deserves a normal , happy life with her parents like imma cry if she gets even one scratch idk[but she does love adventure so im just hoping she takes up trekking as a hobby]

cant wait to see the plot relevance of sticking your fingers down a persons throat!![hope this doesnt come off as sarcastic cause i mean it genuinely, from the bottom of my heart]

if u like cool art you should see jibaku shounen hanako kun, a friend introduced me to it and ive been lowkey obsessed with it. it has a very distinct and beautiful art style that u might enjoy!!

cant describe the effect that is listening to tamino has had on me. truly invigorating.[also his eyelashes when he was singing. just .yea]

okay SO like. if i had to take a guess on who you were, i'd have one or two that id be entirely certain of. but i never took a guess cause i wanted to respect ur privacy . but like if ur entirely okay with it, i would not mind if you came off of anon[im putting it lightly Id LOVE if u came off anon so i can add u on discord and annoy u so much💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💗💗💗💗💗💗💗]

sending you truck loads of love and reminders to be safe!!! eat lots of delicious things and hope you get time to spend a lot of time with ur friends !!!

#m for mwah! and mwah! and mwah

[somuch-4-stardust]

hi guys i just dusted my bookshelf now i think we should talk about my favorite books

heres a really bad picture ummm we should get the non books out of the way thats spider man (IN MY FAV SUIT I LOVE THE IRONSPIDER SUTI SO MUCH) and u cant see it but hes holding the iron gauntlet and hes sooo cool and epic and hes from my favorite non spiderman marvel movie (infinity war!!! its my fav bc it has spider man and dr strange and iron man all interacting and they are my favorites!!) and then theres a jar of frogs. ummm in there theres a few random frogs but most of them are my collection of poison dart frog figurines and also TWO frog bouncy balls one (the one u can see its got this kinda weird purple bottom) has a bumblebee frog in it (not a real one obv) also u cant really see but the jar is organized vaguely by color. also it used to be painted (thats the blue on the top and the random white spots) but i took most of the paint off (and then got lazy and didnt take off the rest of the paint) and yes its ontop of three pairs of gloves (two pairs of winter gloves and gardening gloves) that i wear sometimes when i dont want to touchanything. also i forgot to mention that spider man is number 77 which is great bc 7 is my favorite ever number which brings us into the books <3 counting by sevens (second on the top shelf, red spine) was my favorite book in like second grade . which totally has nothing to do w my obsession for the number seven hahahahahahahahahah <- lying. okay first on the top shelf i havent actually read that book it actually is probably pretty okay but i havent read anything for a long time lmao it was gifted to me by a friend tho thats why its on my Special shelf. then its counting by sevens (thats the one w the autistic girl who i was obsessed w for years. like i read the book at age like 7 and then JUST bought it last year so i could finally have it forever) and then the secret life of bees which was another gift from a friend i dont remember if i ever finished (we have the problem that i was reading it when smth traumatic happened so i dont remember shit abt it) AND THEN!! the laura ingalls wilder series which i was obsessed with in like..... third grade???? anyways i really wish i had the first few books (those are my favs!! tho i like town on the prairie too) but i didnt actually buy them my uncle gave them too me (he works in a publishing company) and he didnt even know that i liked them. then is howls moving castle which im pretty sure ive read but it was like when i was 8 so again i dont remember the book (i watched the movie recently w a friend tho it was great) then is a dictionary which i annotated (we added. our fav characters at the time to it. yeah.) and also i carried it around w me for like a month. then is anne of green gables which i also really like at some point when i was younger (yes i have seen the netflix series yes i did like it for the most part) ONTO THE SECOND SHELF !!! tuesdays at the castle was a book my friend and i read together in third grade and it was what finally got her into reading. then is the first four years which is also another laura ingalls wilder! and then its the school for good and evil (i enjoyed the first book but it got SO BAD LATER that is not the first book that i have it was one of the bad ones but again i got it from my uncle who works in The Book Industry) AND THEN!! the carry on/fangirl series!! which i was obsessed w like two years ago. then theres my book of fairy tales !!!!!!!!!! which is pretty old i think. i have older books tho i have a 1977 a 1972 and a 1959 anddd the fairy tales are only from 1997. so none of my books are SUPER old but theyre old enough u have to be careful. anyways NOT PICTURED BUT STILL IMPORTANT TO ME (they were too tall for these shelves): the chronicles of narnia, a complete collection of edgar allan poes short stories and poems (WOOOOOOO POE!!), the little house cook book (another laura ingalls wilder thing!!), the princess tales (love them when we were like five!!) sea view secret ( mystery i remember none of but our dad read it to us when we were little) THATS IT tumblr is cutting me off word count wise

#HAHA i know that no one will read this bc its so long that I dont even want to go back and reread to look for grammar/spelling errors #AND ALOS. TUMBLR SAYS 'whore ur talking to much' THIS IS SO SAD. TUMBLR JUST TOLD ME TO SHUT THE FUCK UP #guys im not. im not autistic okay dont even worry about it okay #so anyways thanks for coming to my ted talk i think tumblr will count this as a long post #if there are errors just dont even worry about it

[quirklessidiot]

Title: pretty eyes [short story] Pairing: Gojo Satoru x gn!reader [soulmate au; takes place eight years before the yuuji and sukuna fusion] Genre: josei, romance, fluff, comedy, and your normal tragic angst!

Summary: in which the right eye is mine and the left eye is yours and when we meet for the first time, you see your own eyes staring back at you. Warnings: language, blood, minor manga spoilers, mild ooc gojo and death

Notes:  can we all just sit down admire satoru? Like the eyes man, the attitude omg... Ah im so sorry in advance  if hes ooc here sksksk it is my first time to write about any jjk characters and I havent fully grasped them yet despite reading the manga anyways i wont be online next week and tomorrow so i decided to publish this ahead of time. ily all and again thank you for the love and support, it does mean a lot *bows down* see you all again when i’ve got time? jskskss i fucking hate college and online classes, satoru save me please soulmate au’s [not read in any particular order nor are they connected, they just share the same trope]  Pretty eyes [gojo vers.] ||  lasting blues [toji vers]

tragic soulmate au series || taglist 

“Pretty.” were the very first words you uttered in complete awe as you saw yourself in the mirror and no, this wasn’t directed to your physical appearance. It was directed to your left eye, the eye of your soulmate.

Contrasting to your normal boring color on the right, your soulmate’s eyes were ethereal and unreal. How could someone have such pretty eyes? It was completely surreal at that point that you refused to believe that someone with these eyes were actually human.

You placed one hand and gently caressed the left side of your face where the pretty eye rested, “You must be an angel.” you muttered, “Only angels have pretty eyes.”

Thus      like every child     you gave your soulmate a nickname, ‘pretty angel’  and every night before you slept, you’d wonder out loud how your pretty angel was doing, if they were nearby, or anything like that. You wonder what type of food they like, do they like to leave the window open for a cool wind or do they like their chocolate hot or iced.

Yet as you grew older, the pretty angel faded out into your thoughts. The pretty idea of soulmates and love disappeared like the story books you read as a child. The pretty blue eyes on your left is forgotten as life takes a toll on you.

They say death was inevitable, when your mother died in middle school, you watch as your father’s left eye turn to your mother’s color. You watched as he clenched her hand, like it was some last resort of plea. You watched him cry as he passed by the mirrors and you wondered, would it hurt like that too?

It baffles you how beautiful and cruel the soulmate system was.

How every time your father would stare at his own reflection, his left eye would be nothing but a reminder of your dead mother.

You let out a second meek cough in the quiet bookstore that night, the sounds of the car passing by were nothing but quiet noise to you as you immerse yourself in the literature book you were reading, your students would surely love this one.You let out another cough as you turn around to find a small space to read since standing for too long made you tired too quickly. 

You’re too enchanted by the words of the author that you don’t even notice the rather tall man in front of you.

You look up, ready to give a quiet apology but stop short when you notice how ethereal the stranger looked. Albeit he wore a pair of weird Lennon shades at this time of night, he reminded you very much of an angel with his snow white hair.

You don’t even notice how your left eye is returning back to it’s normal color, the stranger does though and it surely was odd to see his eyes on a stranger.

“Well,” the stranger has a shit-eating grin decorating his handsome features, he definitely looked like trouble for sure, “This is unexpected.”

He lowers his shades and your eyes immediately widen as you suddenly cup the left side of your face, you’d recognize those unique eyes anywhere, after all, you had those on your left eye since you were born, “Y-You.” you muttered, the shock momentarily eating you up.

“Yeah, me.” He grins, loving the sudden attention, “Wow, I was expecting something like fireworks or flowers to appear.” He suddenly teased, bending down to your level.

Now that you notice it, he was very, very tall.

“I…” You blink, trying to gain your composure, “Wow…”

“Did I pass your expectations?” it’s been a few minutes since you started talking and all he has been doing is teasing you. 

“You do look like an angel.” You complimented and his eyes widened at the rather out-of-place compliment, “Your eyes are very pretty, thanks for letting me borrow them for twenty-two years.”

Gojo Satoru thought he had the upper-hand, after all, you looked quite meek but when you said those compliments, he was sure that you were going to be the teasing one in this whole-soulmate thing.

So he tries to one up you.

“I’m Satoru Gojo but you can call me tonight.” He grinned, trying to tease you once again, the corny pick up line sounds suave but your blank expression says otherwise.

“I’m Y/N L/N and  think I should call you in the morning, it is quite late right now and I still have classes at eight am.” You mumbled, looking down at your watch, “How about you just walk me home, then?”

“Okay.” Satoru immediately raises his hands, signaling that he was giving up, “First off, you should be more hyper aware that I may be a serial killer.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

“Are you a serial killer?” you repeat, “That would be awfully disappointing if my soulmate was one since I’d immediately give you up on the police. I’m not interested in being in a Bonnie and Clyde type of thing and I think it’s too early for me to die.”

“You’re very upfront about these sorts of things.”

“Well, you’re very teasing for someone who just met their soulmate a few minutes ago.” you shrug, “So, are you going to walk me home or not?”

“Ah, bossy too. I love the attitude already.”

“We’re spending our whole lives together. You might as well get used to it.”

You’d think the idea of soulmates would scare you after the firsthand experience with your parents but curiosity always got the best of you and the white-haired man proved that maybe it would be different this time.

Throughout the few months you’ve spent with him, You’ve noticed that Gojo Satoru and you may be alike in some ways but in most ways, he was different. 

First, he was enigmatic. You’ve known the man for a couple of months now and you’ve been going out on dates but you don’t know much about him except that like you, he’s a teacher at a good school and he tends to be conceited when he talks about his personal skills as a teacher.

“...What are you doing?” Satoru asked, peeking from behind your shoulder as you type in the grades of your student for your class.

“I’m grading my students.” You muttered, it was after dinner at your place and he was lazing around your place, the sound of faint jazz music could be heard throughout your small space and the wafting smell of freshly baked brownies filled the room, “Aren’t you supposed to be doing something since you're a teacher?”

Satoru quirks a brow as if you had said something odd then it seemed like realization had dawn upon him at that moment.

“Ah, I’m not doing much since my students are on break.”

“Didn’t you say that last time?”

Silence filled the room and Satoru breaks it off with his very famous ‘heh’ that made you inwardly roll your eyes and chunk the pillow that you’ve been hugging towards his direction, “Stop slacking off, you’re a teacher.” You scold him mildly, followed by a small cough.

“Ah, Y/N-chan. You’re so mean to me,” He frowned, handing you the mug filled with water, “...No fair.”

“You're a teacher and you’re slacking off.” You deadpanned, ignoring his sly ways of trying to get you in his arms, “How is that even fair?”

“My students can handle themselves so well that I don’t need to babysit them.” He hmphed,  arms crossed and head held up high in a rather arrogant manner. You could only only scoff back a reply at his rather haughty attitude but you’ve gotten used to it to the point where you just roll your eyes.

“You’re a very bad teacher, Satoru.” 

“Hey, I am considered one of the best and it’s an honor-”

You clicked your tongue and just pinched his cheek in reply to get him to stop drawling on about his achievements. You wondered if you dated a man child or something.

Second, despite his teasing nature and good looks, he’s a rather shy bean and has some insecurities about it too, maybe it was because there were moments where you couldn’t really understand your soulmate and his puzzling life. He didn’t tell and you didn’t want to pry because you technically both had your whole life to get around that subject.

Luckily, you seem to have found a remedy for moments like that.

“Satoru…” You called out to your soulmate who was staring at the nutrition content of the wafers on his hand, “Satoru!” 

“Oh, sorry. What were you talking about?” he finally snapped out of his daze and turned to you who was standing there, hand on your hip. The crispy wafers on his hand are long forgotten. 

Your soulmate is good looking, alright. If anyone were to pass by him they wouldn’t see the minor zilch of worry in his eyes.

“Are you alright?” You ask, walking closer to him, completely serious.

“...You aren’t going to leave me, right?” 

You raise a brow at the sudden question, wasn’t he too young to have some mid-life crisis? Was this because of the soulmate movie you watched late last night about the soulmate leaving their other half to rebel against the system and because of his partner’s family?

“Why would I leave you?”

He blinks once, then twice, the only sound that could be heard was the familiar music playing throughout the grocery store, it was as if no one was there during the mid-day. Satoru proceeds to look away, “I don’t know. What if you realize that you don’t like me as your soulmate and you followed what the dude did in the movie?” he started to mumble, mouth pressed on a straight line.

“Ah, the whole rich in-laws.” you blinked, “Don’t tell me you’re a son of some huge clan in japan that’s loaded and I’m going to be a disgrace to your family name or something?”

It came out as a joke at first, it really did and you were going to laugh but when you notice the straight face he has on, you realize it was anything but a joke.

“Oh.” 

“Yeah, Oh.” 

“Aren’t I supposed to be the one asking that question then?”

“What?” He almost half-yelled, eyes wide behind his usual shades that he seemed to wear a lot, “That doesn’t make sense!”

“Neither does your question, Satoru.” You frowned, massaging your temples, “I should be the one asking you that, are you going to leave me?”

“Of course not.” He sputters out.

“Then there goes my answer too.” You replied, huffing out as you grab the sweet wafers on his hand to put into the cart, “You’re very weird.”

“You’re weird.”

“No, you are.”

“You seriously asked me if I’d leave you because of your rich family in the middle of the day.” You deadpanned, inching closer to him to the point where your lips are brushing against his.

“This is unfair.” He huffed, suddenly turning red, “You’re attacking me in broad daylight.”

“Oh dear.” Your beguiling eyes, enjoying his rather embarrassed state, “This isn’t attacking, Satoru.”

Then you closed the distance between you two, his eyes seemed to widen behind his shades at your forward approach, clearly you guys never did PDA. You took this as an opportunity to lick his lower lip so you could slip your tongue in and as he starts getting into it and placing his hand to cup your ass, you pull away with a big smile on your lips, “That’s attacking.” you grinned.

Satoru seemed to have regained his senses quickly after that rather heated public make-out session, he placed his hand on top of his mouth and feigned embarrassment, “My, My, I didn’t think you’d enjoy those types of things in public.” he was back to his normal teasing self.

Well, that seemed to have worked very well.

“Mhm,” 

Yet unknown to you those thoughts still lingered in his head, it wasn’t just his family that he was worried about, it was also regarding his job as a jujutsu sorcerer       something he has yet to mention, he’s not even sure if you’d believe him       it’s a normal occurrence for people like him to die in this occupation and he’s scared that one day, you’ll see your left eye turning back to his eye color with no valid explanation.

Not only that but the amount of people who’d go after you to get to him, he clenched on the shopping cart tightly

“I’m tired.” You cut his thoughts short and Satoru turns to you, unlike him, you weren’t physically active so you tire easily, even joking around that you were a granny in a child’s body, “Can we sit down after this and get some gyudon?”

“Sure Y/N.” he grins, giving you a one-arm hug and kissing your temple.

Third, he’s terrible with kids, period, no questions asked. 

Your eyes narrowed to slits as he brought in one of his students named Megumi, the boy is quiet and compared to your giant and teasing soulmate, he’s serious. In fact he was more serious than the tiny pinky of the white-haired man.

“...Are you kidnapping a third grader?”

“He’s one of my students.”

“You don’t even know the first thing of looking after kids.” You pointed out, “And didn’t you mention that you teach high school students?”

“Well,” he drawled on, “It’s kind of a long story but he’s technically a genius.”

You let out a stifling sigh, “You’re impossible.” you mutter, bending down to the small boy’s level, “Would you like something to eat in compensation for him annoying you?”

The boy nods mutely.

“I wasn’t annoying him!” He corrects.

“He looks very annoyed standing next to you.”

“That’s literally what he looks like!”

You roll your eyes in reply and turn to the young boy, handing him a pastry that you had brought earlier. You  watched Megumi eat his pastry in front of the television that played some child-friendly show as you let out a soft cough and pour yourself some water

“Are you alright?” Satoru asks, resting his head on your shoulders.

“Yeah,” You replied, “Why’d you ask?”

“You’re looking quite pale these days.”

“Maybe it’s the allergy season, already.”  you nonchalantly replied, taking another gulp of water, “You’re terrible with kids, by the way.”

“That’s why I’m a high school teacher, Y/N.”

This connects you to your fourth observation, he’s nonchalant and easy going but he harbors a rather deep worry for you to the point where you wonder if he was really your soulmate or your mother incarnate. Three years into the whole soulmate thing with him, you still couldn’t help but think that he’s doting nature was quite adorable.

You feel like you’re coming down with a cold these days, your head has been throbbing and your cough is worsening. Satoru’s eyes are filled with nothing but worry as he handed you some medication. Your soulmate was now a mother hen and if it were different circumstances, you’d laugh it off.

“We should go to the doctor.” He nagged you once again.

“I’m literally going to sleep it off.” You hoarsely replied, “I’ll be fine, Satoru.”

“You literally sound like you smoked a pack with your voice, are you sure?”

“I am.” You glared, “Don’t sleep-”

Before you could even finish what you were saying, he flops right next to you in the bed, “-I literally told you to not sleep next to me.” you scolded him.

“A mere cold won’t phase me.”

“I swear to god, Gojo Satoru. I’ll kick you out.” He ignores your ministrations and snuggles his head on your neck, his warm breath tickling it, “You’re impossible.”

“You love me.”

“Sadly.”

“Hey.”

“I’m kidding.” you let out a quiet chuckle, looking down at your soulmate and running your hands through his white hair, “I love you very much, you idiot.”

“Hard same.”

“Never mind, I take it back.” you giggle.

And after a rather short playful banter between you two, you find yourself sleeping and snuggling on his long limbs. You think all is well, you really do. That was until you wake up later at three am in the morning with a loud coughing fit. Satoru immediately sits upright and opens your nightlight but what he sees next, scares him more than the curses he has ever encountered.

Your sheets are now stained in blood from the coughing fit that had just happened and you're completely taken aback too, completely breathless.

“Y-Y/N…” He gulps down, quickly taking the sheets away from you, “Let’s go to the hospital now, please?”

“...L/N-san, have you been getting coughing fits before this?” the doctor asks, looking up from your chart. Satoru watches you shake your head as you clench the paws of his jacket, the doctor takes off his glasses, “How about coughs that don’t seem to go away? Getting tired too easily?”

Satoru doesn’t like where this was going, he doesn’t like where this was going at all.

“Um, just some dry coughs and I’ve always been an inactive person.” You quietly replied, contrasting to your usual bright and teasing demeanor, you looked too tired this morning and Satoru just hopes it’s because he dragged you out of bed at four am to get yourself checked asap.

“Y/N-san, has any of your family members been diagnosed with lung cancer?”

The whole room is silent and you could almost hear a pin drop, Satoru feels his knuckles suddenly turn white, “I recalled my okaasan died because of that.” You replied silently and the doctor nods feverishly.

“...Y/N-san...It pains me to say this but the reason you’ve been experiencing this is because of the tumors located in your lungs.” Satoru feels his heart drop when he hears those words, “We have to do further tests to confirm-”

“Do it.” Satoru cuts the old doctor off, his hands are visibly shaking already, he hopes that this was just a misdiagnosis, that this doctor was just a bad one or better yet whatever excuse his mind could make up at that moment, “Do all the tests needed for Y/N, please.”

Fifth, he’s very supportive towards you and your impulsive decisions. If he could join you in it, he would but you usually decide against it.

It’s another quiet night for you as you sit across from your soulmate at the dinner table. You’ve grown awfully thin and your hair was starting to fall off due to the chemoradiation, this day marked the third month since you found out that you have lung cancer just like your mother. Surgery was apparently too risky so the safest option right now was this treatment. 

You don’t deny the anxiety eating you up every day, specifically the fear of death, you’re even more worried for Satoru since not only had he been paying for your treatment but he had opt to take care of you, saying that his job would be fine without him since you were going to get better soon anyways.

“Would you still love me if I shaved my hair?” You asked, your voice still quite hoarse.

“You kidding me? I’d still love you even if you turned into a roach.”

You immediately crinkle your nose in disgust, “That’s disgusting.”

“Honest reply.”

Truthfully, the man had been your rock these past three months. You knew how hard it was for him to be happy around you, how he had put on a brave front and remained positive saying that this was just going to be a rough couple of months and you’d be back in no time despite the bleak outlook.

It kept you sane amongst the tragedy.

“I wanna shave my hair.”

“Like right now?”

You nod, “Can we use your electric razor?”

“You want me.” he points to himself, “To cut your hair?”

“I wouldn’t want anyone else to do it.” You grinned.

And that’s how you ended up in your bathroom after dinner, Satoru’s shades on the side and his concentration directly on your scalp. You had literally told him that he just needed to do it the same way as he shaved his beard but he was still scared. Apparently, he had never shaved anyone’s hair before.

“...Okay, Y/N. Here goes…” He proclaimed, switching the razor on. As bits and pieces of your hair fall to the ground, you feel your cheeks getting wet and your shoulders tense, Satoru is quick to notice the switch of emotion and immediately turns the razor off before bending down in front of you, “Woah, woah… Y/N….”

“I-I…” Your lips are quivering as the tears fall faster when you see his pretty eyes staring back at yours, you try to let out a laugh but instead it comes out as a choke sob, “Sorry, this is stupid. I’m literally crying over fucking hair.”

“No, of course not…” He replies, enveloping you in a hug, “Of course not.”

Satoru feels you start to shake in his arms and he knows he should keep his emotions in check, he’s a sorcerer for crying out loud but seeing you break down for the first time in three months had him shaking too, you didn’t deserve all this, fuck, you didn’t deserve any of this at all!

“Would you like me to shave my hair so you’d feel a bit better?” he asks. After recovering from your breakdown, you had asked him to continue shaving your hair because you might as well be done with it.

“Please don’t.” You reply, wiping your tears away, “We’d look like eggs.”

“Cute eggs, you mean.” He corrects, teasing you and trying to cheer you up, this was all he could do and he hates it. 

He really hates it.

What good was the title of being the strongest when he couldn’t save you from all of this?

Lastly, if you hadn’t highlighted it enough. He has pretty eyes, contrasting to your dull and boring ones, you always loved how different his eyes are. Sometimes you wondered why he dared to hide them behind his crappy and overused Lennon shades.

“Can I see them?” 

Your room is dimly lit as Satoru sleeps next to you on the hospital bed, you were growing weaker and frailer by the day and you could see the toll it took on your soulmate. You were heavily reminded of your father who was sitting right next to your mother on her deathbed.

“See what?” He yawned.

“Your eyes.”

“You’re awfully in love with them, huh?” 

“I’ve always been in love with them from the moment I saw it in the mirror.”

Silence envelopes the room with your statement and as requested, he takes the shades off and now you’re greeted by the most beautiful blue eyes that you love to look at in the reflection since you were a child, “Pretty.” You muttered, raising your frail hands slowly to cup his face, “Pretty eyes.”

Satoru takes in a deep breath as he places his hand on top of yours, the silence is heavy. You both know what’s about to come in the next few days, you’re lucky if you even last a night. Yet he doesn’t want to talk about it, he shuts the topic off quickly when you try to even raise it.

“Yeah.” he mumbles, staring at you, “Pretty.”

You let out a quiet laugh, “I doubt it, I’m anything but pretty now.” your voice hoarse, making him lightly squeeze your hands, “Will you be bringing Megumi tomorrow?”

“Yeah, the brat said he saved enough money to get you your favorite pastry.”

“That’s good.” you blinked, “I’m tired.”

Satoru feels his shoulder tense at your words, they were so plain yet at the same time so heavy, “Should I call the doctor?” he asks. You shake your head and just snuggle on his chest.

“No,” You mumbled, inhaling his scent and basking on his presence, “I want your warmth next to me.”

“Y/N?”

“Hm?”

“You know, you’ve always had prettier eyes.”

Yet you don’t reply and he feels your grip on his sweater lessen, he doesn’t even need to see his reflection to know that his left eye has returned back to your (e/c) ones.

taglist [if crossed out, it means you aren’t available for tags!]

@airybnb​ ;  @hcn421​ ;  @shinhiromi​

#jujutsu kaisen imagines #jjk angst #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen headcanons #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen scenario #jujutsu kaisen fanfiction #jujutsu kaisen gojo #gojo saturo x reader #saturo x y/n #jjk gojo #soulmate aus #pretty eyes

[snickerdoodlles]

You have an upcoming old guard au and howl's moving castle au for patpran? 👀

i do!! :D the old guard AU was inspired by this edit by @/patprans because i went feral the second i thought of patpran being in love for 2000 years. its premise is 'what if pat and pran were immortal in bbs canon?' and runs from there. of the two AUs, it's also the one closer to being finished (nearly 8k long too! who am i even!!). i rly need to completely scrap the last 1.5k of the fic or so and rewrite it completely, i just havent been able to bring myself to do that yet lol. id love for it to go up before the month is out but...we'll see how well i stick to that plan 😂 💦

the howl's moving castle AU...well, if im in a fandom, assume i have a HMC AU. howl's moving castle is my favorite series ever (and Diana Wynne Jones my favorite author ever) and it really influenced a lot of my writing style in general, so i fall back into that universe quite often lol. the PatPran HMC AU will be called listen with your heart (dont have much in that tag yet, but. soon. i talked a little bit about the opening premise in the tags of this post though)

it's high school era!PatPran (specifically their senior year) and it starts with Pran accidentally attaching his revolving door to Pat's bedroom door instead of his own (always double check your maths kids!!) but he won’t be able to move the door to his proper bedroom one for Reason. so as you can see, Pran is Howl, Pat is Sophie, and Calcifer will be an OC named Fig, and i think ive made @jemmo cry over this AU no less than 10 times already. i dont know when i'll finish this fic because its getting um. Long. but its a big love letter to Pran's kindness, Pat's care, and knitwear, so I'm really pumped to share it when i can 🥰

and since it's going to be a lil while til its done, here's a little outtake (~1k) from the first time Pat meets Fig the fire ghost under the read more :D ~

):) (:(

No sooner does Pat reenter his room when he hears the tell-tale whistle-click of his door changing. All thoughts of changing out of his school uniform fly from his head as he dumps his schoolbag in his entryway immediately and turns on his heel to bother Pran. He grabs hold of his doorknob with an eager wiggle and after a quick mental count to three, throws open the door and lunges in.

Pat fully expects to fall onto Pran and get shoved back into his room with a shout and a scolding. But instead of Pran, all he meets is empty space. He stumbles into the home beyond his door with a gasp and--barely--manages to get his feet under him before he falls flat on his face. 

Pat gapes at the newfound territory in awe. He’s stolen glimpses of this room before, of course, but this is the first time he’s seen it. It’s a strange place; Pat had thought Pran now lives in a dorm at his new school, but this looks more like a full cottage to him. The living space has been converted into one large workspace, tables littered with half-finished projects, shelves crammed with textbooks and supplies, a cheerful fire crackling in a large fire pot beneath an open window. A small open kitchen is tucked into the corner and just past it, Pat can see a small hallway of doors open to bedrooms, a bathroom, and extra storage space. Everything smells overwhelmingly of spice and smoke that make Pat's nose itch like he needs to sneeze.

“It is a wizard’s space,” he murmurs to himself as he admires the strange room and begins to poke around. He’s never been in a magic workshop before--all the laboratories in school are firmly locked to only allow magiks in--but after he gets used to the overwhelming newness, he starts picking out little bits of Pran in the smiley faces decorating the spice jars and the animated faces on the strings of globe lights. Pat admires one of the faces making an exaggerated scowl at him with little inked huffs and giggles to himself. He resists the urge to explore more when Pran isn’t here, instead turning to the fire in the corner with a raised eyebrow. “Does Pran know you let me in?”

A grinning shadow of a face appears in the fire. It’s hard to make out completely, like Pat’s looking at something through the heated ripples of a mirage, but silvery flames emerge through the pink-gold flames of the fire’s body to form two mischievously slanted eyes and a jagged gash of silvery grin. It looks positively wicked, and Pat can’t help but grin back at it.

“Not many people see me, much less so quickly,” the fire ghost says. Its voice sounds like the hiss-spit of a burning wet log, but Pat gets the impression its pleased all the same.

“Did Pran say you could let me in?” Pat repeats stubbornly. He’s curious, but not that curious. Besides, it’s no fun breaking rules if Pran’s not there to scold him.

The fire ghost’s grin doesn’t falter. "You were always here,” it says in a pleased whine. A log in its pot cracks in a giggling spit of sparks. “I just opened the door.”

Pat purses his lips suspiciously. So that’s probably a no. He’s not sure a fire ghost will just let him leave if he goes about it directly though--and it must sense Pat’s plans, because the sharp whistle-click of the door changing sounds behind him, leaving Pat trapped until Pran gets back. Pat’s not annoyed by this, per se. He doubts Pran would let a fire ghost that would harm him or his guests into any home of his. It’s just embarrassing to be stuck here until Pran can come bail him out, and Pat had left his cellphone in the bag he dropped in his room like an idiot. He’s not sure what else he can do but wait though, not when the fire ghost offers him a seat on the stool nearby its pot and admires Pat with open curiosity.

"I’m Fig.”

“Pat,” he offers with a friendly nod hello.

“I know,” Fig says. It crackles with a little flare of warmth. “You’re the one Pran likes to visit.”

Despite his best intentions not to snoop, Pat can’t help but perk up with a pleased grin. “He said that?”

Fig lets out a series of spitting sparks and cracks that Pat thinks is supposed to be merry laughter. “Pran shares everything with me,” it says conspiratorially.

Pat raises his eyebrows dubiously. “Why would Pran tell anything to a fire ghost?”

Fig flickers sulkily. “I’m his fire ghost. Of course he shares everything with me.”

Pat laughs and leans closer, not hearing the door latch release. “Pran bound himself to a fire ghost? My Pran?”

Fig flares brighter right as a voice echoes coldly from the doorway. “Snooping, Pat?”

Pat whirls around with a sunny smile, and Fig echoes his greeting with a bright flare up that washes the whole room in warmth. “No! Fig brought me in, he said I was supposed to be here,” he rats out shamelessly, eyes glued to Pran.

Pran ignores him in favor of glaring at the fire ghost flickering big and bright just behind Pat. “Did he now?”

Pat lets out a small sigh from his nose. He’d known that must’ve been the case, but he had hoped...

“And I didn’t snoop,” Pat adds on mulishly. “I was waiting for you to come back.” Pat brightens with a gasp. “But you’re here now!” he says cheerfully, and dives for the nearest shelf full of books and jars to poke through.

“Ai, Pat!”

):) (:(

#im trying not to go full out emo over these two AUs but o man #i have SO many feelings i could cry #thank u for asking me about them ajdshj i tried to hold back but im always rly excited whenever ppl are interested in my silly WIPs ❤❤❤ #AUs always take me longer to write than canon-verse stuff because i never do one-to-one AUs #worldbuilding my beloved but also i spent almost a week just coming up with figs name #so u can imagine how that affects the writing time LOL #i so desperately wanna share the first bits of the old guard AU right this second but i am VALIANTLY holding back #my fingers are itching but!!!! no!!!!! gotta channel this into ACTUALLY FINISHING the fic!!!!!! #then i can just share the thing in whole and hopefully make some more people cry 😂😂 #but HMC AU will be a little while so sharing timeeeeee #hope u enjoyed the silly lil outtake !! :D #also i apologize for the weird delay in answering this tumblr is doing ODD things with my replies rn orz #au: listen with your heart

[scarecrowmilkfog]

♡My Prison Pen Pal♡

Helmut Zemo x reader

Word count: 1,802

Warnings: swearing, mentions of prison and crimes and slight angst to do with his family

A/N: its finally here! I havent writen a fic in a long time so hopefully you guys like this! I tried to avoid using idioms and things like that but message me if you need anything explained or reworded as I know most people aren't native English speakers

@sorcerersofnyc

♡♡♡

His first letter came during the series finale of your favourite show. A rather inconvenient moment, you thought, so it stayed on the welcome mat until you passed through the hall on your way to bed. Picking it up, you figured you'd skim the first few lines then finish it and write a reply before work. Instead, you found yourself writing and rewriting a reply through the night. Somehow this man had managed to enthrall you with only a letter. Maybe it was the way he wrote as if he was some elegant poet whose sonnets would one day be hailed as classics. How he managed to be open and expressive, exuding a welcoming aura, and yet still seeming mysterious. Or perhaps it was simply fated by the stars that Helmut Zemo would capture your heart.

You waited anxiously for his second letter to arrive. After sending the first, you hadn't cared whether you got a response, the whole thing seemed like a bad idea to you. But your mother was insistent that you needed to meet new people and this way you wouldn't need to worry about awkward face to face conversations. Sending the first letter felt like any other chore you do in the day, done with much effort and resignment but forgotten within minutes. But the second? It felt like the most important thing you'd done in a long time. You'd even bought a first class stamp (not that it makes a difference).

You wanted to know more about this intriguing man. No, supervillain. Charged with international terrorism. Jesus christ what the fuck was wrong with you? Were you really falling in love with a supervillain after one letter? But he didn't seem evil to you. He wrote eloquently, somehow his simple and brief description of his day (he'd started reading a new psychology book, you'd have to send him some recommendations) sounded fascinating in his words.

Over time, you started to notice small things about Helmut. The way he crossed his t's, how he signed his name, but mainly that there was a romanticism to his writing. From the way he described his home, his wife, his son to his recipes for Sokovian dishes with small notes and doodles (your favourite was his shepherd's pie recipe where he helpfully noted his mother's assertion that you should always add more than you think you need). It was becoming clear to you that he wasn't the stoic and vengeful baron you expected but rather a soft, lonely and endearingly weird man who you couldn't imagine plotting to destroy the Avengers. Whilst it was his mystery that first captivated you, it was his sweet and sometimes awkward personality that convinced you to keep writing.

It took a while for Helmut to tell you about his family. You had heard on the news back when he first arrested about his motive, so you were interested to hear his perspective on his crimes. But that wasn't what you got. Instead, he told you about when he and his father used to play football when he was young and how they would play a match every time he visited, with Helmut playing against his father and son, who always wanted to play with grandfather. He told you of the songs his wife used to sing, how her voice was always loud and shaky and after years of singing somewhere over the rainbow she would still forget the lyrics and invent her own. He told you how his son was the best pianist he had ever heard. How he could play the greatest rendition of amazing grace and that he had just learnt the theme from swan lake. That he had been excited to practice it on his grandfathers grand piano the day Ultron attacked.

There was something so human about this man. His love for his family, his loss and grief, his plan to avenge his family, it was all so tragic and yet here he was sending you drawings of the flowers from his garden growing up. You wanted to hug him and yet sometimes you felt he wouldn't need it, wouldn't want it. You were wrong.

Helmut Zemo missed his family. He told you so in one of his most recent letters. He missed holding his son, brushing his wife's hair, going for long drives, waking up at 2am to comfort his son, early morning trips to the shops, cleaning up after dinner, helping with homework. Everything he listed seemed so trivial, so meaningless in the grand scheme of life and yet the memories meant so much to him.

You realised then you had never pitied him before. Not that he wasn't deserving of it, just that he didn't seem to need it. But overtime you realised that what Helmut had really needed wasn't revenge or to make a world free from superhumans, it was someone to talk to. Someone to trust. Someone who would understand his pain and not judge it. Perhaps, you thought to yourself, you could be that person.

Fuck.

You couldn't think of how to cope with this. No one you knew had ever mentioned falling in love with a criminal through letters. And as hard as you tried you hadn't been able to find a single romcom with this plot line. You couldn't tell him. You imagined with his seemingly fragile state of mind receiving from basically a stranger professing their love would at best cause him to ghost you. Especially after he confided in you, shared his thoughts and memories.

So instead you continued as normal. You sent him pressed flowers and pictures of your favourite places. Eventually, he asked what looked like, and you spent an hour trying to decide whether you should send a picture of yourself or to just vaguely describe your features. After deciding to send a picture of yourself on holiday a few months before the blip, you found yourself wondering what he'd do with it. Would he throw it away as soon as he got the letter or would he keep it, tuck it away in some book to look at whilst thinking of you?

You also found yourself wondering what he looked like in the real world. You had found pictures of him online, but they didn't feel real. He was never rarely happy. The pictures pre Ultron were clearly taken by paparazzi, so you weren't surprised he rarely looked anything other than annoyed. There were a few though, ones with his wife and son, where he clearly hadn't noticed, and some from when he was much younger and seemed to enjoy the attention. Then were those taken after his arrest.

And so you continued to wonder he looked like. How he looked in the morning, with flowers in his hair or in summer with the sun lighting his face. You wondered what his hair looked like wet, if he ever scrunched his nose in disgust. You wondered what his smile was like.

Over time, you told him more about yourself. The stress of returning home after the blip to no job, no house and your friends 5 years older. Your ex was married with kids and your sister had moved abroad. It was as if you blinked and your whole life had changed. You mentioned how it was your mum who had suggested getting a pen pal, so you could talk to someone new, who was living a different life to you, although she had meant someone in a different country not jail. Since coming back you'd been isolated and stressed with starting a new job, recovering lost information and personal belongings and moving house, so you had thought it might be good to speak to someone who didn't know you, who couldn't judge you. You told Helmut how it had been good, how writing to him had helped you, how he had helped you more than he could ever know.

No, that sounded creepy. How you appreciated his letters.

Too formal. How you hadn't expected to become his friend, but you were glad to be able to say you were.

Helmut was comforting. You knew in your head that your meeting on Friday was nothing to worry about but seeing him say it felt so reassuring. Each one of his letters made you feel relaxed, feel safe. You wanted to make him feel the same. So, as a way to repay his kindness you had told him that no matter what happened, he could always trust you. And it was true. You couldn't imagine a world where you wouldn't do anything for Helmut and although you knew he would never need it, you still wanted him to know you would always care about him, even if no one else did.

Writing to him had become as easy as talking to someone you'd known all your life. You had fallen into an easy routine, you knew when to expect his letters and you knew when you'd send a reply. The routine felt so natural that you even knew what the envelope would look like, always the same off-white with a square edged flap. The address was always the same too. Except on his last letter. Which was strange.

At first, you thought Helmut had been moved to a different prison but after frantically typing the address into Google Maps you realised it was not a prison. Fuck you had no idea what it was, but it wasn't a prison. It also wasn't in Germany.

You sat still, staring at the unopened letter for a few minutes.

You looked up at the door. You thought you heard someone knock. The post had already come and you weren't expecting people. Hell, there wasn't anyone other than your parents who would visit anyway and they would have called first. Now you were sat still, staring at the front door.

"I know you're in there, the lights are on."

It was as if you were a marionette, being moved by some strange force that was slowly pulling you out of your seat and towards the door. You didn't even register that you moved until you felt the door handle on your fingertips. The cold metal caused you to stop, as if broken out of a trance. There was a sudden realisation that if you opened the door your life would never be the same. It was sickening, a mixture of dread and excitement; it reminded you of the moment before a roller coaster drops. You repeated that thought in your head. "Your life would never be the same". Your life hadn't been the same in almost a year. What would be the harm in one more big change. So you did it. You opened the door.

His smile was beautiful.

#zemo x reader #helmut x reader #helmut zemo x reader #baron zemo x reader #zemo #baron zemo #helmut zemo #tfatws