#(and probably best written)

[inkskinned]

so while i was writing the book, i became violently suicidal.

this was mostly due to the fact that i had a very bad reaction to some meds and my brain stopped producing any serotonin. also i was in the last semester of grad school where it's actually illegal to feel anything but dread. so it wasn't going well.

somewhere in the fog of it i became aware i needed help. nobody was taking clients or my insurance. i didn't want to do inpatient care - it wasn't right for my needs. there's not really an "in between" stage between "inpatient" and "no care," but i was trying to do the right thing. i was trying to activate the chain of command that was my emergency plan. i knew i needed help now.

i used betterhelp.

i know, i know. i'm a straight-A student and so smart and so clever, how could i ever use something so blatantly bad. to be honest with you, i didn't feel particularly keen on it from the getgo - things that seem too good to be true usually are. also, if something online is free, the price is usually your privacy.

the thing is that there was kind of a global pandemic happening at the time and i worked 5 jobs alongside of being a fulltime student and also like writing a book on the side. it is a miracle that i even thought about getting help. i would love to tell you i had the mental wherewithal to like, process whether this was the right choice for me. mostly i was desperate. i was so suicidal that i was trying to find a reason to stay inside of fortune cookies. i was the kind of suicidal that looks like splatterpaint. i hadn't been that bad in an entire decade.

they took my data. i gave them it freely. somewhere out there, they have a dossier on me. on everything i survived. my story in little datapoints, scattergraphed beautifully.

the first woman told me that really i should be grateful, because (and this is a direct quote): "at least you're not anne frank." i said that i felt that statement was antisemitic, as anne frank's life and experience shouldn't be compared to like, a nonbinary lesbian in western massachusetts. the therapist said that i should try to use lucid dreaming to try to picture myself in an actually scary situation, like running from nazis.

i applied for another therapist. i was willing to accept the possibility that there was a bad apple in the bunch. the next therapist and i even laughed about how inappropriate that statement was. and then, in our next session: the new therapist said if i was struggling with body image issues, i should just work harder on my appearance. she spent 3 sessions in a row talking about how she was grieving, and made me memorize facts about her grandmother so "she can live on through my clients."

i am a three's-a-charm kind of person. okay, so what if the last person made me uncomfortable. i figured it was just a misunderstanding of priorities - she had felt she was sharing with me, i had felt like i had to take care of her. i applied for another therapist.

the last woman asked me to help her pray. she bowed her head. i stared at her, frozen, while she said: lord, i beg you: cure her. take the pain of being gay away from her.

i spent somewhere between 2.5 and 3 months on betterhelp. in that whole time, i was not getting the professional help i so desperately needed, even though i was fucking trying.

in the end, i survived this because i finally could get off the meds that were literally killing me. a request for a real therapist finally went through. i survived because my friends saved my life. because nick let me sob myself dry in his arms. because maddie took the razors out of my room when i asked them to. because grace slept over in my bed for like 3 weeks in a row since nobody trusted me not to hurt myself when i was alone. i survived because i got fucking lucky. because even when i was desperately suicidal, i was too old and too self-aware to take "you need to be prettier" as good advice.

the thing is that there's a 19 year old me who isn't like that. who would have heard "just think about how grateful you should be" and said - oh, i see. i would have assumed that is what it means to be in therapy: the same thing my abusers used to tell me. that i am just pretending and lazy. that i am ugly and unworthy.

betterhelp positioned itself to take advantage of an incredibly vulnerable community. it preys on desperation. it knows it is serving people who are not doing well mentally. it saw that there is a huge need for real, immediate, compassionate mental health care: and then it fucking takes your money and privacy.

i still get their ads on instagram. last night i watched as a woman in a pool pretends to talk to a different woman. they discuss her anxiety.

there's a 19 year old version of me, and she didn't survive this. she was too tired, and drowning. i almost fucking died. this thing almost fucking killed me.

in the ad, the woman playing the therapist takes a note on a clipboard and then nods once, sagely.

i have to admit it's a pretty scene. the steam and light coming off the pool water lands on the actresses. like this, it almost looks baptismal, holy.

#writeblr #the book.... #coming soon #hey so if ur someone who has ever said “you need to write a book” #i wrote the book #it's ... probably the best thing ive ever written #this is maybe too honest lol #okay to reblog thank you for asking i love u i am in love with u our wedding will be in may

[crowley1990]

It’s December so everyone put in the tags what your favourite book(s) you read this year is (are)

#My surprise hits were the remains of the day by Kazuo Ishiguro #the uncommon reader by Alan Bennett #And homage to Catalonia by George Orwell #The best book I read this year was probably men who hate women by Laura Bates but it was not my favourite #Really good but upsetting and disturbing #But the first three are just really well written and really surprised me with how much I enjoyed them #Especially as I picked them all up at random

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 2 - Twilight Town

#kingdom hearts 2 #kh2 #twilight town #scenery #my gif #i didn't really know how to go about making this set because this world is big and has a lot of nice locations #but as i was putting them together i realized that the most recognizable areas would probably work best for a post like this #because other rooms like the usual place or the underground tunnels or the woods felt out of place somehow #maybe i'll make a part 2 and showcase some other areas... #anyways the devs sure do know how to make the original non-disney worlds stand out #just wandering around in this world puts me at ease but also gives me a feeling of sadness #that perfect feeling of nostalgia #or perhaps the prologue for this game is so strongly written that it'll always leave a lasting effect

[rosepompadour]

One day I shall be the princess, and spend my whole life dancing in fairyland.

Anna Pavlova, I Dreamed I Was A Ballerina (1922)

#anna pavlova #ballet #i love reading about people from history who make these ridiculously prescient claims of greatness #and everyone around them at the time is just like 'sure! whatever!' #but then they actually DO IT #😱 #i live for that shit #there's a letter from fitzgerald where he says 'i shall write a novel better than any novel ever written in america'...and he DID THAT #don't you just love it! #i feel like some of our greatest artists (pavlova and fitzgerald being prime examples) almost HAD to be these crazy dreamers #because there was literally no one else who was going to do it for them #look at anna! her mom takes her to see sleeping beauty and anna's like 'mom i'm going to be the best ballerina who ever lived!' #and her mom is like 'we are literally living below the poverty line and you've never so much as twirled but OKAY!' #she probably thought anna would forget about it in a week #arrested development narrator: 'anna did not forget about it in a week.' #🩰💗

[thetarttfuldickhead]

It would never have happened if not for Dr. Fieldstone. Now, Leslie’s delighted about her joining the Richmond team on a more permanent basis – she works wonders with the lads (and one head coach who shall remain unnamed, if only because he’s still a little sensitive about seeing a therapist) – but it does mean that Leslie’s once more out of an office. Just for the moment, of course, until he can find a suitable space without kicking anyone else out of their room. It’s really no hassle. He’s doing fine on the bench just behind the recyling bins outside of the copy room.

Or he was, until Roy Kent stops by just on the other side of said bins and, seemingly entirely unaware of Leslie’s presence, starts fiddling with his phone in what can only be described as an angry way.

It’s Roy, so that’s nothing out of the ordinary, and Leslie’s just about to offer a friendly greeting when he hears the hollow rings of an outgoing call and ah, it’d be terribly rude interrupt, wouldn’t it? 

For a long moment there’s nothing but beep after beep and Roy’s muttered pick the fuck up you fucking prick and then—

“What the fuck do you want?” 

Jamie’s not on speaker, but the sound’s loud enough for Higgins to not only recognize the voice but to hear every word, and the jagged, slightly petulant edge to them. 

“Where the fuck are you?” Roy growls. 

“How’s that any of your business? Training’s fucking over for the day, Coach.” Spat, more or less.

“Don’t be a fucking— “ Roy cuts himself off. “I need to see you.”

“Why?” 

“Fucking hell! I wanted to… I want to fucking apologize, all right!” Roy sounds very, very annoyed about it.

“You can do that over phone. Or in a text.” Jamie sounds slightly less annoyed, but not by much.

Leslie dares crane his neck just so to sneak a peek at Roy’s face. Roy has closed his eyes, looking pained as he grits out a simple, strained: “No. I can’t.” 

“Why the fuck not?” 

Roy looks to the ceiling. Looks like he’d rather be anywhere else. Still he plods on, and Leslie feels a small surge of pity, small surge of pride. 

“Because you’ll want to hug me afterwards,” Roy says, “and you can’t fucking do that over phone, can you?” 

There’s a long pause. Leslie finds himself holding his breath, and not only because he’s halfway terrified he’ll start nervously gagging if this goes on for much longer. 

“Fine,” Jamie says eventually. “You can meet me back at my place in twenty.”

“Yeah, okay. Cheers.” 

A snort, somewhere between derisive and exasperated. “You better fucking hug me back.”

With that, Jamie hangs up. Roy takes a few deep breaths before stomping off and leaving Leslie to carefully consider what he’s overheard. Obviously something must have happened at training and if their head coach and star player have a proper falling out and Ted’s not there to talk some sense in them—

Eh. They’ll sort it out. Leslie returns to his e-mails.

#currently and probably forever obsessed with roy understanding and adapting to jamie’s cuddly needs #special shout out to all the sweet people helping me land on the word ‘gag’ as the best way to describe higgins’ weird noise #you are all absolute darlings #if this ficlet seems particularly random or odd #it’s possibly bc this technically is one part of a 5+1 ficlet #about other people obeserving roy and jamie being casually but deeply weird about and with each other #but i’m not sure i’ll ever do the other 4 and 1 #so i’ll just put the out one by one as and if ~inspiration~ strikes me #and potentially put them together if i get enough in the end #i realize some people write things and don't inflict them on others just bc they've written them #rip to you but i'm different #jamie tartt #roy kent #leslie higgins #roy & jamie #roy x jamie #post-canon #ficlet #my stuff

[xamaxenta]

Once again i am here to support fanfic writers i am an extremely vocal advocate for fanfiction writers in fandom space yall are so important and you provide fics that are beyond exceptional FOR FREE????

Fucking hell

#you guys r so rad #you guys r the best #to anyone who has ever written ace ever for their fics MUAH THANK YOu!!!!! #if you have written for the portgas d ace tag on ao3 i have probably read it amen thank you for the food

[neverevan]

Fuck It Friday 🧇

I was tagged by the ever so lovely @daffi-990 (go check out her new fic!) @giddyupbuck and @fortheloveofbuddie

I've been posting nothing but Christmas stuff lately (because that's all I've been writing lmao) so I thought I'd go for something different this time, if nothing else to motivate myself to get back to it after the holidays.

“So, are you just gonna wait for them to break up?” Josh asked over the brim of his cocktail glass.

“Yeah, I think so.” Eddie sighed in defeat.

Josh looked at him for a moment, clearly trying to gauge just how carefully he should phrase the question they were both thinking about.

“And what if they won’t?”

“Then,” Eddie tried and failed to swallow down his discomfort, “I missed my shot.”

“Eddie…”

“He’d still be happy, right? That’s good enough for me.”

“Is it?”

“Yes.” He found that the answer hurt more than a bullet through his shoulder, but he meant it, he really did.

If Buck was happy with Jason, well then… Eddie will feel shit about it and it will hurt a thousand times more every time he has to see them together but Buck would be happy and that’s gotta be worth something — everything. Buck deserved to have a good relationship for once, even if Eddie couldn’t be the one to give it to him.

“And hey, if it doesn’t work out, I hear the underboss at Metro Dispatch is single.” He wiggled his eyebrows as he took another swig of his beer.

This time Josh was the one who kicked him under the table.

“We both know you couldn’t handle me, Diaz.” He played along easily and they both snickered around the rims of their drinks.

Eddie never thought he would be this grateful for Josh Russo, but here they were.

✨no pressure tagging: @malewifediaz @spagheddiediaz @jeeyuns @ladydorian05 @disasterbuckdiaz @steadfastsaturnsrings @eowon @heartshapedvows @nmcggg @rainbow-nerdss @jamespearce9-1-1 @watchyourbuck @eddiebabygirldiaz @theotherbuckley @thewolvesof1998 @jesuisici33

#this scene is in a future part of the fic that isn't written yet #so it'll probably be revised later #but josh and eddie best friendism is so dear to my heart #buddie #911 #wip #the jealous eddie fic

[luxflora]

#yes i submitted this to destieldailynews yes im also posting it myself #cant believe this isnt trending #obligatory: cancer sucks yo please remember the discourse when charlie announced his #kate middleton #princess kate #as i said on my last post. im mostly curious to see if she also announces intent to treat hers with herbs #edit: apparently she said shes doing chemo on medical advice #i think some of her comments were probably like................ not in the best of taste #but it did sound like it was written by a publicist so duh

[bookworm-center]

Hey! Idk if you’re still accepting requests for one shots but here it goes

Y/N was one of the crows for some time now and to everyone she always seemed happy or unfazed by the bad things.

She usually goes to the roof right in front of Kaz’s door and just sings her heart out and this time she sang her own song (The pretender by Lewis Capaldi) what she didn’t know was Kaz was listening from his desk

And maybe some fluff after she sees him? Idk

Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader

Fake A Smile

In which one of the Crows is not as happy and carefree as she seems.

Author's Note: Oh I am so down to do this! I am still accepting requests, I just might be a little slower than I was before. I did kinda change your request, I hope it still works. I made the lyric lines smaller since I put a lot of them. Yeah, it's sorta long cause I got carried away... So sorry this took forever!

I will be your shoulder to cry on

I will make you laugh if you need

I will play the part if you say so

Yeah, I'll be anybody but me

There's a smile plastered on Y/n's face. It's so obviously fake to anyone really paying attention, but no one notices. Not the pigeons, going about their day, not the Dregs, scamming those poor pigeons, not even the Crows, her closest friends. Kaz Brekker doesn't even notice, despite taking pride in his attention to detail. She laughs along to Jesper's jokes, however bad they are, lends a shoulder to those in pain. She plays the role of a happy, carefree Crow so perfectly that even her friends don't see through her act.

To tell you the truth, I'm a mess, I'm a fool

You don't know that

And you never will

In my mind, it's instilled not to show that

It's funny that Y/n can be so happy and kind in Ketterdam, the home of the cruel. It's funny that inside she's crumbling apart and can't risk anyone knowing. Ketterdam has engraved its cruelty into her mind, and she refused to let anyone see. Brokenness in the Barrel means weakness and Y/n wouldn't allow herself to be seen as weak.

I spend almost all of my time

Feeling like I'm falling even further behind

And I know I'm so good at seeming

Like I'm not on the edge of a knife

I'm the pretender, what can I tell ya?

Designed to deceive

So tell me who you want me to be

Thoughts circle around Y/n's head as she climbs up to the roof of the Slat. She's not Inej-sneaky, though it doesn't really matter since she's not the Wraith for a reason. Y/n's a Crow, no doubt about that, but she wasn't skilled like them. She wasn't a Grisha, wasn't a sharpshooter, wasn't druskelle. She wasn't the Wraith, wasn't a demo expert and definitely wasn't Dirtyhands. She was just... Y/n L/n. She was the ordinary in a group of extraordinary, the touch of reality to their magical fantasy.

I can wear a million faces

'Cause I don't like the one underneath

Always found it easy to fake it

Yeah, I'll be anybody but me

It takes her a little while but Y/n finally reaches the roof, and then and only then does she tear away her facade. Tears stream down her cheeks, her sobs coming loud and unbidden and all she can do is sit there and cry. Then, once the tears aren't so bad anymore, she starts singing. The words she sings are shaky and her voice cracks between every few words, but right now it doesn't matter because right now she doesn't have to be perfect. Right now, she just needs to get her emotions out in the form of the song that's been cultivating in her mind for that last few months.

To tell you the truth, I'm the fraud in the room

And I know that

But you never will

In my mind, it's instilled not to show that

Kaz hears something from the roof. As per usual, it's Y/n singing. Kaz redirects his attention back to his work but then notices the difference in Y/n's voice. It's not the usual cheery song or Kerch working tune or even an old Ravkan song Nina had taught her. This song is filled with so much heartfelt emotion and sadness and pain that Kaz can't help but listen closer. After all, he may be the Bastard of the Barrel, but he's just a man, just a human whose heart aches for the person he loves.

I spend almost all of my time

Feeling like I'm falling even further behind

And I know I'm so good at seeming

Like I'm not on the edge of a knife

I feel like everything I do is a lie

And all the words just further pull the wool over eyes

I know I'm no good at being who I am away from the light

I'm the pretender, what can I tell ya?

Designed to deceive

So tell me who you want me to be

The door to the roof slams open. Y/n quickly cuts herself off, brushes away her tears and stands. She can already tell who it is by the rap of their cane but she needs a couple of seconds to collect herself. Kaz stops beside her, looking out at the horizon rather than at her.

"Kaz! Wasn't expecting to see you here!" Y/n turns her head away, just to make sure Kaz can't see any lingering tears. "Is there a new job you need me for?" The question hangs in the air. Kaz doesn't answer, doesn't even look her way. "Kaz?"

"That song. It's a new one isn't it?" He noticed her singing. It wasn't like she'd been singing quietly, but she hadn't thought he would notice. A new one? He must have been listening every time she'd come up here and she didn't even know. Maybe he had been paying closer attention than she gave him credit for... "Y/n. What's going on?"

It takes everything Kaz has for him to even ask the question and this time Y/n is the one who doesn't answer. How can she, when this is Kaz Brekker she's talking to? Kaz Brekker, the heartless Bastard of the Barrel, the infamous Dirtyhands? He wouldn't understand.

"Y/n. Answer me."

"Why?" Y/n can't help her outburst. She's been bottling this up for far too long. "Why does it matter?"

Kaz may be good with negotiations, but he's terrible at anything emotional. "I protect my investments."

Y/n scoffs. It's so unlike the Y/n Kaz is used to, but he honestly doesn't care because at least now she isn't hiding behind a mask. "Is that all I am to you? An investment?" She almost starts to walk off when Kaz's cane blocks her path.

"You're an investment." Before Y/n can interrupt in a fit of fury, he continues talking. "To the stock market, an investment is more valuable than a treasure. To the stock market, an investment is something that keeps rising in value. To the stock market, an investment is something that means the world to them. Without an investment, the stock market would crash and burn." With every word Kaz says, every word that is practically a confession of love from his mouth, Y/n steps closer until she's in front of him.

She doesn't move too close, she knows that he isn't good with touch, but she's close enough that she can see the little golden flecks in his coffee brown eyes, close enough that she can see his lips curl into a just-barely smile. "I get the feeling we aren't talking about the actual stock market." Y/n whispers.

"No. We aren't." And to both of them, that's as close of a confession as they are going to get.

And no, this doesn't heal the hurt in either of their hearts, it doesn't make Jordie any less dead or Ketterdam any kinder, but at least now they have a little place of safety. At least now they have a place where they don't have to pretend, where they don't have to fake strength or fake a smile.

#grishaverse #bookworm center #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #i tried my best #i got kind of carried away lol #this song hits hard #hope you like <3 #six of crows #my writing #im actually really proud of this #its probably my favorite grishaverse oneshot ive written so far

[brother-emperors]

foundations of rot

arthur with the corpse of dinadan because dindan's my favorite, but also it could be lamorak. the eyes are obscured and the corpse cannot speak except to represent the (gestures at the decay of law and desecration of bodies) happening, so you know. either one. maybe both! all the blood from these bodies are saturating the ground and eventually the whole setting collapse inwards/cannibalize itself etc etc

The Failure of Justice, the Failure of Arthur, L.K. Bedwell

society6 | ko-fi | redbubble | twitter | deviantart

#alright some knights to break up all the homoerotic art of catholic cardinal's that i have sitting around #this is. hm. probably my least comprehensible artist comment ive written but im tired™ and this is the best i can do #arthuriana #knights knights knights! #drawing tag #long post #arthur is the only definitive character here lmao #the three blocked out figures can be whomever is most relevant to u out of the usual list of suspects who commit unjust killings

[obey-me-headquarters]

So, I haven't gotten too far into Nightbringer to write any specific smut for it. (Literally only just started lesson 6). But I do have some ideas!!

A lot of my ideas revolve around being the demon's "first" in something. Like, you know your demons inside and out at this point. You know all their kinks, fantasies, and where to touch them to make them squirm. So you can introduce them to all sorts of things that make them scream in the future but they have no experience with now.

For example, showing Lucifer how much of a masochist he is. I don't think Lucifer is a complete virgin in Nightbringer as I think he fooled around as an angel at least a few times. I mean, he's still a few thousand years old, he was bound to get curious and try getting frisky with a few angels. But him trying out BDSM? I seriously doubt it.

So once you and him finally fall into bed together, you show him all the ways he didn't know he loved to be touched. Having such an inexperienced Lucifer is a bit of a novelty and a bit of an annoyance. Present day Lucifer knew what he wanted and he wasn't ashamed of asking for it. The Lucifer you're currently bedding? Doesn't know what he wants.

It's actually really cute how shy Lucifer is. How he tries so hard to stifle his moans when you heard much louder, much needier ones from your present Lucifer.

And you don't want to push him. It's entirely possible that past Lucifer has no interest in BDSM. That his particular taste for masochism and being owned evolved after many centuries.

But you still want to try, to possibly open his eyes to a new world of domination and submission.

So one evening, one careful evening you've been planning for. One evening in which you make sure that his brothers haven't wreaked havoc, one evening where Diavolo doesn't up to distract Lucifer cause him stress. One perfect, relaxing evening, you spring the question onto him.

"Lucifer, have you heard about BDSM?" You ask in your most light, most casual tone to not raise any alarm bells and spook the demon.

Lucifer pauses his undressing, his hands suspended in the air as his tie hangs loosely around his neck. He turns to you in slow motion, looking so bewildered and confused that it makes you want to laugh. Surely your demon couldn't be that pure right? You know he's only been a demon for a little more than a year now, but, come on.

"I'm sorry, have I heard about what?"

"BDSM! Like, Bondage, Domination, Submissive, Masochism. Have you heard of people doing that sort of thing in bed?"

Lucifer's face turns a bright scarlet and he turns away from you. Like, actually physically turning his full back to you, turning away from you. You can see his ears still burning though, and elect not to tease him about it in worry that if you do, Lucifer might become so embarrassed he'll stop being the Avatar of Pride.

"It's fine if you haven't. If you would rather I never bring it up again say the word and I wouldn't." You tell him, concern starting to creep in.

"No. No, it's fine. I just. Why did you choose to bring that topic up?" He asks stiffly, hands clenching and unclenching at his sides. A classical Lucifer "I'm nervous about this topic because it inflicts Feelings in me" move.

"I was just wondering. I have been in dom/sub relationships in the, um, past, and was wondering if that was something you'll be into," you say gently, so extremely gently. "It's fine if that's not something you're into." You add.

"You have?" He asks in surprise, and because you know him so well, with a hint of excitement. "What... what role did you fall into?"

Relief crashes into you like a tidal wave. He's into it. He's really into it from what you can tell. He hasn't had any experience with subbing, you know because your Lucifer didn't when you meet him, but he was so desperate to finally try he practically threw himself at your feet.

Not this Lucifer though. This Lucifer most likely knows of the idea, maybe he picked up some porn featuring a dom/sub relationship and knows on some level that he's interested in subbing, but hasn't had the time to stew in that knowledge like your Lucifer did.

"Dominate." You say with confidence, a grin painting your face. "I like control in the bedroom."

And judging by the shiver that shoots up Lucifer's spine at your words, so does he.

Grinning, you stand and begin stalking towards your prey.

"I like taking control of my partner. Make them beg for relief. And if they misbehave, I like to punish them."

"Do. Do you?" Lucifer asks breathlessly.

You're standing behind him and you know he knows you're there. His demon sense picking up on it, and by the way he almost leans backward as if to meet your touch, you know he wants you.

"I do." You state confidently, mere inches away from Lucifer.

"But," your hand grasps Lucifer's shoulder and he flinches. "If my partner didn't want that...." You give him a light pull and he complies, turning to face you.

And oh, what a sight that is.

You missed your subby little Luci. You missed his cute moans, his tears as you edged him, and his screams when you overstimulated him. And you missed his flushed face when you lowered him into subspace.

And this? This perfectly mimics that face.

"Oh, baby." You breathe out, fighting the urge to pepper his face in kisses and pull him into your chest.

"And what if I do? Would you do those things to me?" Lucifer asks, and you're so, so proud of him for asking.

"Darling, I would do all that and more." You say as you kiss him.

Like your Lucifer did in the past, like he will do in the future, he lets you take control.

#obey me #obey me nb #obey me nightbringer #obey me lucifer #obey me nb Lucifer #my post #obey me dom!reader #ok so i know i said i was busy #and i AM #i should have NOT written this. this just got away from me #as yall can probably tell because this did NOT contain you showing Luci that hes a masochist lol #aw. oh well. i have a pretty clean idea of what i want that to look like #ill write that later #i SWEAR i will finish that one day... one day... #i noticed that i got quite a bit of notes from my Nb posts. and uh. #yeah sorry folks who are not in the know. im a smut writter. #a dom!reader smit writer in fact. sorry. #best to leave now if you're not into that

[tworedplants]

This guy, just for funsies :)

#megaman #mega man #bass #my art #maybe i should name this au at some point #bass isnt officially part of it but ive had this design in mind for a little bit #also saying 'officially part of' probably isnt the best phrasing because there are only scattered ideas in my head #anything is subject to change at anytime so who knows #hopefully i can get this stuff written down someday #mmstorybook au

[mattodore]

found out while putting together matthias's oc page that his name has the exact same etymology and meaning as theo's name...

i’m sure this is information matthias is very normal about…

#theo is in fact a gift from god so jot that down ! #river dipping #i've been throwing myself into oc stuff bc i'm not doing hot mentally which is... tbh when i do my best writing 😭 #none of this is new tho i wrote the bios and 'at a glance' intros months and months ago when i first made an oc page #which is why i do plan on rewriting them but for now i'm leaving them like this... so i guess the echthroi page is done? #obviously echthroi has more characters than this but i haven't taken new screenshots of everyone yet... #i put the gray cas bg back in my game a few days ago only to completely forget i wanted to take new headshots for the oc page 😭 #like these are just placeholders... i want the backgrounds to match the oc page. oh... or maybe i could just do transparent pics? #i think i remember vyx made a post abt how to do that... will look into that when i open the game again. rn i'm at my keyboard 🧑‍💻 #like i am writing new things! started a google doc for theo yesterday and have been writing on it here and there since then #i've already cried in there... lmaooo. i like oc pages for sure but i think a huge google doc is what i really need to keep track of things #i drop so much lore in tags on here and it's like! river write that down somewhere else or you'll lose it 😭 #like i fr have never actually written down any of the info i've shared on here. i've just had all this oc knowledge stored in my brain. #so i went through and copied over a tonnn of tags and posts i've made into google docs but i just know i'm missing things i've probably #said in the tags of their core tagged posts... 🧍 if my blog didn't have so many posts i'd have an easier time going through it but 🤷 #and on top of that i've been making a bunch of posts about theo and matthias on my main acc. which is like 🧍 well great now there's more #i'm gonna lose track of...... i fr have gottt to get into the habit of actually putting things down in theo's google doc!!! #i'm just trying to figure out the best way to format it all but i've downloaded a few templates that i've been messing with. #...anyway. if it isn't obvious i'm trying to get back to posting on here. i'm opening my inbox now with the intent to just. #sit here in my inbox until i can get myself to reply. lads... avpd is actually so torturous i'm not kidding. #i feel like i'm dying trying to get myself to interact with people sometimes even despite how badly i want!!!! to interact!!! #theo and me and our avoidant trauma responses holding hands and skipping around together

[enchantedchocolatebars]

The Bloodied Dagger

Original story

Ao3 version

A small crowd was gathered in the center of town and was in awe as they witnessed THE Matthew Hopkins tying up an odious "witch".

The wicked wench pleaded for the great general to let her go, proclaiming her false innocence to him.

However, the woman was rightfully disregarded.

Witches were quite notorious for spinning lies and telling tall tales, and Hopkins was well-informed of that fact.

He was a man of God, after all.

"Look at those arms," a young woman in the crowd comments about the witchfinder to her friend, who nods in agreement.

Both women simultaneously exhale a sigh of infatuation as they begin to view Hopkins through a "crush filter", their pupils now taking on the shape of red hearts.

"He has the eyes of righteousness," a burly man would state out of admiration.

"Oh, that Matthew Hopkins is steamier than a stew in July~," another woman who was crushing on the general said with a giggle, fanning herself with her hand.

"I could kiss him!" a thrilled man shouts, to which the other townspeople fully support his excited statement.

To them and the other residents living in Gravesfield, a formal and friendly kiss between two gentleman was not a problem.

Standing among the chatty crowd was Philip, the teen's smile growing immensely as he watched his idol bring the "witch" to justice.

He aspired to be a great witch hunter just like him.

Once she was fully tied around her midsection, Hopkins wastes no time shoving the woman to the ground.

He then places a triumphant foot on her.

The crowd celebrates this heroic action with a loud cheer as Philip quickly rushes over to Hopkins.

"Mr. Hopkins, that was AMAZING!" he said, his blue eyes sparkling with inspiration.

A cocky chuckle is released by Hopkins at the compliment.

'Ah, the youth and their praise,' he thought to himself.

His ego loved it.

"Well, what can I say?" he began. "I do what must be done."

He grabs the end of his rope.

"Now, I must be off. This she-devil needs to be condemned for her heinous crimes."

As he starts heading towards the outskirts of town, a crooked dagger slips out of Hopkins's holder.

Upon seeing this, Philip immediately goes to pick the weapon up.

"Mr. Hopkins, you dropped this!"

"Hm?"

After halting, Hopkins turns around and spots his dagger in the boy's hand.

"Keep it," he said with false humility, causing Philip to gasp as he continued.

"A generous gift from me to you." He had plenty other daggers that looked exactly the same at home.

"Protect yourself against any wild witches you might come in contact with," he told Philip.

Philip gave a second gasp.

He couldn't believe it.

Matthew Hopkins, the greatest witch hunter of all time, was giving him his knife... as a gift?!

Philip could faint.

He wasn't going to, but he could have.

Philip nods. "I will! Oh, Mr. Hopkins, I am truly honored to have this!"

Hopkins chuckled.

This kid was something else.

"You should be!" he shouts back with a smug expression.

And with that, the general continues his way through town.

As he gazes at his new dagger, Philip squeals with pure delight.

He planned to keep it forever and couldn't wait to show it off to Caleb, but first, he had to clean off the blood that stained the metal.

He was certain it belonged to a witch.

#(what do i do with a boy with a boy like you?) #(also) #('oh that matthew hopkins is steamier than a stew in july~' is the funniest line EVER XD) #(and probably best written) #the owl house #owl house #toh #emperor belos #belos #philip wittebane #teen philip #belosfanstakeover #matthew hopkins #ao3 #a03 #ao3 link #a03 link #ao3 writer #a03 writer #fanfic #fanfics #fanfiction #fanfictions #writing #my writing

[hottestthingalive]

months late to this party but i’m obsessed with how nerdy prudes must die reinforces the series’ point that the cycles are vicious the nightmare never stops. in hatchetfield they go through the nightmares again and again and again and the universal constant is that there is no happy ending and nerdy prudes is really the one that almost tricked us—sure, tgwdlm and black friday came close (with their respective ‘emma getting away’ and ‘omg did they defeat him finally?’ scenes) but I think npmd really perfectly captured the bait and switch of it all. we go from disney dance scene to the chastity must rise reveal and the reversal of the hunted are now the hunters (another pretty consistent hatchetfield theme) and what we learn is that there is no universe where things go right. Grace’s song mirrors Max’s, but the undertone is that Max mirrors the members of the cult years before (and also the adults around him in the present including the mayor but y’all aren’t ready for that talk yet). it doesn’t matter if someone figures it out or not: even if someone defeated Grace, someone else would take over. the cycle never ends; the worst part of the nightmare is when you think you’ve gotten away, only to feel claws at your back. they will never get to stop running

#npmd #Been a starkid fan for ages & I LOVE the themes the writing it goes so hard #I think nerdy prudes is probably their best show to date in general but also its so funny that it was written first because #it ending it also leaves the series open in such an effective way #that really embodies the meaning of the show and the series itself #hatchetfield my beloved #one of these days i’ll watch nightmare time finally and go fucking batshit mark my words

[turtlemurmurs]

forgot to post this whoops Happy Halloween!!!! I had fun painting some eyeballs on a pumpkin this year! :]

#listen this isn't technically related to the magnus archives but let's be real #spooky green eyeballs??? this has tma written all over it akdflhdjfd #anyway it was fun I had fun #this guy is already rotting so these are the best + only pictures I've got adkfjlhdfdfd #art #pumpkin #pumpkin painting #halloween #eyeball #eyes #scopophobia #..... #the magnus archives #i'm allowed to tag this as that probably #eldritch #eldritch caramel apple.... aka a pumpkin dipped in viscous black goo that has many eyeballs in it #2023 #turtlemurmurs #tw scopophobia