#(I think I'm happy with the choice I've made for it. When I finish everything I'll make a separate post with a guide for everything)

[rosetintedgunman]

OOC

Update on the updating-backstory fiasco before my laptop runs out of battery:

I FINALLY HAVE A TIMELINE FOR WILF'S CANON APPEARANCES. I never had this established despite having this blog over four and a half years???? I am as baffled as you are right now.

#(I think I'm happy with the choice I've made for it. When I finish everything I'll make a separate post with a guide for everything) #(you might be wondering why this is taking so long but you need to consider two very important things. #1. This blog has had a decent amount of genuine character development and that has not been considered #2. It's me. I like writing waaaay too much context. I can expect this to be SUPER long to the point where having Will and Wilf is a #Part One/Part Two scenario more than anything else) #(But the laptop is gonna be charged and then I'll be switching to doing replies and drafts!!)

[bookshelf-dust]

healing

billy hargrove x gn!reader

word count: 5,445

warnings: swearing, smoking, mentions of past trauma (starcourt), slight sexual innuendos??

a/n: hi! remember when i made you do a poll for my 1k celebration? and one bed with billy won? well this is that fic! i'm sorry it took so long to get here, but school was kicking the ever loving shit out of me. anyways, i really hope you like it. it's a little different than other fics i've written, but i think that's a good thing. just for context, this is post the end of season three, with billy and hopper being okay and jopper being in full swing. i think that's all i wanted to say. thanks again for 1k followers. that's still so wild to me. i love you. and billy loves you too <333

————

November 1985

“No.”

“What do you mean no? You just fought an interdimensional being, don’t you want a vacation?” 

Lucas wipes both hands down his face, flopping down on the arm of the couch beside where Max sits with El between her knees, tying off one of the two braids she’s trying to make. 

“Max, can you help me? Please?” Lucas has been arguing about this for fifteen minutes. 

She rolls her eyes, but looks up from her work nonetheless. “Billy.”

The man in question crosses his arms, locking eyes with the redhead. “Maxine.”

Max finishes Eleven’s braid and she hops up to join Will where he’s working on a puzzle. Joyce brought it home from work a few days ago, and it’s been spread out on a card table in the corner of the living room since then. Will couldn’t watch The Golden Girls with Joyce from the kitchen table. 

“Just come with us, Billy. We all know you hate it here. It’ll give you a chance to get away for a little while.”

Except that’s not totally the truth. He doesn’t hate it here. Not with you around. 

“There’s a pool.” Will looks up, a little shyly, from the puzzle, fingers flipping around a single piece. “At the place Robin found.” 

Billy nods, and it’s enough to make Will smile at the acknowledgment. 

It’d been Steve’s idea, after everything that happened in July. He thought everyone going on a trip together might be a good idea. Go a little ways out from home, calm down. 

You and Billy started going to school, though Billy is still working. He found a job at a record store across the street from Melvald’s that opened after the mall went to shit. It definitely wasn’t his first choice, but it works. And he’s slowly fixing up the Camaro. 

Steve had offered to pay for the repairs in full, considering he did most of the damage when he rammed the side of it, but Billy couldn’t handle that. So far Max has only convinced him to let Steve cover the really expensive parts. It hurts Billy more than he’d care to admit—having Steve Harrington give him money. 

But he can’t lie, going somewhere away from Hawkins, even just for a couple days, sounds really nice. It’s the group part that’s bothering him. He’s still not used to everyone wanting him to tag along, but apparently major trauma brings people together.

There’s the slamming of car doors, and footsteps running up the driveway before the door swings open, Robin bursting in with a stack of movies in her arms. She’s followed by Dustin and then Steve, bags and keys being tossed every which way. 

Billy doesn’t see you for a moment and starts to worry maybe you aren’t coming. He’s already supplying excuses for having to go home, but Steve left the door ajar, and after a moment, there you are. 

You look sleepy, footsteps the quietest of everyone else as you carefully push the Byers’ door shut behind you. He watches as you accept a hug from Eleven, overhears her ask, “how did your test go?” 

He’s happy to hear you tell her it went well. It’s only after you’ve looked at her and Will’s puzzle and snapped a few more corner pieces in that you make a beeline for the open spot on the couch beside Billy. 

When you’ve settled, your knee bumps against his. “Hey.”

He looks at you, a little grin playing at the corners of his mouth. His arms are still crossed, thumb playing with the pendant resting on his chest. A chest surprisingly covered by a sweater, though the sleeves are pushed up. 

“Hey. Glad your test is over?”

That sound of his voice makes you smile, and he’s never been so grateful for something, even if it’s just an expression. “Yeah.”

You glance down at the new tattoo on his arm, a dark colored snake wrapping around the skin covering his elbow. You run your thumb across the tail that flicks across his forearm, and Billy relaxes into your touch. 

“You have work today?”

Billy shakes his head. You’re glad he had the day off. And you’d tell him so if it weren’t for the sudden bombardment. 

Lucas is suddenly standing in front of you, having returned from the kitchen where you think he and Dustin may have been cleaning out Joyce’s fridge. 

“Holy shit, thank god you’re here. I need you to convince Billy to go on vacation.” 

You glance at Max, assuming she’s already tried. She looks rather annoyed. “Lucas, would you sit down?”

The boy looks at Max, and she glares at him. Clearly he knows better and sits down next to her. 

“Billy doesn’t have to do anything he doesn’t want to do,” you finally say. 

The man in question turns to face you. You have to lean your head back some because of how close he is. 

“Are you going?” he asks, voice quiet and thick with something you don’t know that you’re supposed to notice. 

“Y-yeah. I was gonna. Robin only went on about it to me for an hour over the phone last night. I just think it might be nice to get away for a little while.” Billy doesn’t break eye contact with you, and while it makes you a little nervous, it tells you he’s listening.

“And I can watch Max for you if you really don’t want to go. Just make sure she doesn’t kill Lucas or anything.” Max snorts at your response, though Lucas looks at her in panic, already calculating how best to prevent that sort of situation. 

Your gaze softens and you fight the urge to reach out and run your thumb across Billy’s cheek. 

Please come with us. I want you to go. I want you there, you think. But it’s not what you say. You don’t know how badly he needs to hear it. 

“You really don’t have to go, Billy. Not if you don’t want to.”

“But there is enough space, man.” Steve stands behind the couch, handing El a scrunchie he retrieved from her bag. His voice is calm, informative. “If you decide to go. There’s plenty of room, and we’d be happy if you did.”

Billy could make some smartass remark. But he won’t. He knows that Steve is being honest, and that he’s not trying to be a dick. It seems that witnessing the guy who beat the shit out of you almost die not even a year after he moved to town really brings you together. 

Billy gives an acknowledging nod. “I’d be very happy if you did,” Eleven says. She loves having Jonathan as an older brother, really she does, but Billy lets her play with his hair. And in her books, that really ups the scale. 

He smiles at her, and El considers that a win. 

You notice him shift next to you, and then he’s leaning forward to whisper in your ear. “Come with me?” He cocks his head in the direction of the door. 

He gets up, assuming you’ll follow him. You always do. 

When you’ve shut the door, you move to the porch swing. It’s your favorite spot out here, and Joyce says it makes her happy to see someone use it. She used to sit there with Will in the mornings after Jonathan left for school and read to him. She did the same with Jonathan, but he was a much more fidgety kid, wanting to find something else to do. 

Billy lights a cigarette, and you watch where he fidgets with the ring on his middle finger. 

He’s standing a little ways away from you so as to not breathe the smoke directly in your vicinity, but you wish so badly that he was closer. You like having him close. The weight of his body next to you, the warmth, how solid his arm feels when it’s pressed to yours or when he slides down on the couch some and it's more so pressed to your side. 

“Which part of it are you worried about?” you ask him. 

He shrugs. “You really think they want me there? You think Max wants me around?” “Billy, I know she does. And I know that voice in your head is telling you that it’s a pity invite, but it’s not. And, besides…” you trail off, but he’s not having that. He needs you to reassure him. 

“Besides what?” 

You look up at him. “I want you to go. And yeah, I’ll be sad if you don’t go, but that shouldn’t sway your decision either.” You push your feet against the concrete porch a little harder, and the swing responds to the movement. You move quicker, now feeling very pleased with yourself. 

Billy almost laughs at the child-like look on your face, but you look so at home on the swing that he holds it in. A grin escapes nonetheless. 

“Say that again.” He stubs out his cigarette in the ashtray either Hopper or Joyce have left outside. He’s watching you again. 

“What?” He’s not gonna let you go all shy on him now. He needed to hear that. He needs to hear it. 

“You know what.”

“I want you to go.”

“Then it’s settled. Need to get out of this shithole anyways.”

————

The place Steve found is about two hours from Hawkins, with three bedrooms, a shockingly luxurious pull-out couch, and bigger common areas than you’ve ever laid eyes on. Excluding the ones in Steve’s house. In short, the rental is like Hopper’s cabin, if Hopper’s cabin were updated and substantially larger. It feels like the kind of place rich people have to take weekend trips. You’d rather not find out how much Steve is paying for the lot of you to stay there. 

Robin takes you on a grand tour while everyone else explores the backyard. Dustin is already determined to climb a tree. One of the rooms has two sets of bunk beds, dedicated to the four boys. “To ensure no cootie-spreading,” Robin proclaims. 

She and Steve will share the couch, with Max and Eleven in the smaller bedroom. 

Robin stops at the end of the hallway. “Which leaves…” 

You and Billy. 

You and Billy Hargrove.

Sharing a room. 

Sharing a bed. 

Speaking of, the man in question brushes past you, setting his bag on the floor at the foot of the bed. Robin takes that as her queue to leave and gives you a thumbs up on the way out. You hope she can feel your death stare on the back of her head, and she knows it, being quick to run down the hall. 

“So we’re roomies, huh?” Billy says, gathering his hair at the base of his neck. You hadn’t even realized he had a tie on him, and it takes him finishing off a lazy bun to realize it’s a blue scrunchie. You have to bite your lip to keep from saying anything. 

“I can sleep with Max and El, if you want. Or–”

That crease between Billy’s brows forms. “Why would you do that?”

You’ve gone all warm. You’d have to sleep in bed with him. And you sit next to him all the time, but this is different. Isn’t it?

Maybe it’s not so weird. You’re just friends. It’s like a sleepover, right?

“I don’t know, you might not want to sleep together or something.”

He cocks a brow, but you catch the double meaning of your words just in time. “You know what I mean, Billy.”

He sits on the end of the bed, and reaches out for you. You move towards him slowly, but the moment you’re within his grasp, Billy spreads his legs and grabs your waist, slotting your body between them. 

“You can go if you really want to. If you think I’ve got cooties or somethin’ and you don’t wanna share a bed with me.”

You snort, and Billy drinks in the sound, knowing he’s the one that made you laugh. 

“I don’t think you’ve got cooties.”

You realize in that moment that his hands haven’t left their spot on your waist, never straying anywhere else. The weight of them on you is enough to keep you focused on him, and he seems to acknowledge that. 

“Then what is it?” he asks, in that low drawl you fear could get out any answer he wanted from you. 

You hesitate, but say it anyway. “You don’t think it’ll be weird? Sleeping in the same bed?”

Billy fights the urge to rest his forehead against your stomach. He wants to tell you he’s wished you were in his bed on more than one occasion. Sometimes he just wishes you were there so it wouldn’t feel so cold, so he’d have someone to pull him out of his thoughts before they eat him alive altogether. 

“No, I don’t think it’ll be weird.”

You nod your head, and try to move back from him. 

Billy whines. “Uh uh. Nope.”

You go to put your hands on your hips, and they graze Billy’s on the way. He grabs hold of them. “You don’t want to have a sleepover with me?”

Billy’s looking up at you with those watery blue eyes, and you know this is a battle you’ll never win. 

“Really?”

He lets out a breath of a laugh, and your eyes fall to his neck when he tosses his head back. 

“Yeah, baby.”

Baby. 

It feels like every cell in your body has been sent into overdrive, like you can’t compute a single coherent thought. All because Billy called you “baby”. 

And if he’s being honest with himself, he feels the same way. He hadn’t meant to say it. It’s just that he calls you “baby” in his head all the time, and it just…happened.

“I’d love to have a sleepover with you, Hargrove.”

“Mhm. Thought so.” 

This time he lets the laugh out, and it’s a beautiful sound. The kind of sound you’d commit unspeakable acts to hear again. And this time, he does let his forehead drop to rest on your stomach. It surprises you, but you’re not mad about it.

“Oh, fuck off,” you say, and you can feel his chuckle against your skin.

When he quits, you find yourself just standing there, find your hands moving around his back. He’s always so warm. You rub your hands up and down his back, the denim of his jacket rough on your fingertips. 

You feel him shift, feel his change in position, the hard press of his chin against you. Billy is looking up at you, and you know he’s hoping you’ll return his gaze. His eyes bore into yours, and you hate to think of what you must look like from this angle. Clearly he doesn’t mind. 

You push a curl behind his ear, a shockingly perfect ringlet that’s too short to be contained like the rest of them. 

Billy would be taken aback by the gesture if it weren’t for the fact that you always go this easy on him. Like you know he’s healing, in more ways than one. 

“We can’t stay here forever, you know. I wanna go look around.” 

“Yeah,” he laughs. “I’m sure it’s riveting.” He lets you go anyway, following you down the hall to the rest of the cabin.

————

Your back rests on the base of an oversized chair, one that’s surprisingly comfy, your body in between Robin’s legs. She’s sitting next to Steve, watching you moderate El, Lucas, and Will play Twister. Dustin’s already out. 

“Right hand blue.”

“You’re kidding right?”

“Sinclair, have you never played this game before?”

Lucas scoffs, trying to reach the blue on the other side of the mat without toppling into Will. Max went with Billy to the store, but they should be back soon. You have a sick feeling they’re taking advantage of having been given Steve’s debit card. 

“Yes, I’ve played the game before. If you’re so good, why don’t you get down here and show us how it’s done, Harrington?”

“Yeah, Harrington, why don’t you show us how flexible you are?” Billy’s voice makes you look up from where you’ve been mindlessly twisting the spinner on the board around with the tip of your finger. 

He stands just inside the living room, holding the door open with his leg. He kicks it shut once Max has made it in. She heaves the paper bags she’d been holding up and onto the counter. Steve rises to help unpack them. You follow on instinct, handing the spinner to Robin instead, and Dustin is quick to take Steve’s spot before Mike can. 

Billy won’t let you take anything from him, but he will let you help figure out what the hell to do with all of it. “Do I even want to know how much you both spent?” you ask. 

He gives you that fucking smile, and you know you don’t. “Max said she wanted to have a spa night–whatever that means–with El, so we sort of split up. I’m sure Steve’ll live.” 

“For your information, Lucas,” Steve continues, clearly not ready to let the quips towards his limberness go, “I was the captain of the swim team.”

“What’s that got to do with being flexible, dingus?” Robin directs the two remaining players, the young boy in question having just busted his ass. 

“Swimming is an art form, Rob. You gotta learn to respect it.”

You choke on a laugh, and Billy is quick to rub your back while he chuckles into your shoulder. 

“Something funny over there?” Steve questions. 

You straighten, trying to wipe the smile from your face though it’s to no avail. “Nope, Steven. I’m sure you’re just incredibly stretchy. Like Mr. Fantastic.”

His brow furrows. “Mr. Fantastic?”

Dustin snorts, elbow deep in a bag of chips, and you quickly realize that you probably shouldn’t have given him an opening, but you don’t exactly regret it either. 

The lot of you spend the rest of the night in this fashion, playing games, eating way too much food, taking turns smacking the top of the television so your movie will keep playing. 

It feels like home. It feels safe. You wish it always felt this way. 

————

You’d just finished brushing your teeth when you hear the bedroom door click shut, hear footsteps you can tell are in search of you. 

You peek your head out of the bathroom and Billy grins at the sight of you in pajamas, a smear of moisturizer on your forehead you’ve yet to rub in. 

He squeezes in the small room, about the same size as his at home, to join you. There’s something about this moment, the domesticity of it, that makes your heart swell. It feels like something you could get used to, getting ready for bed with him. Neither of you have to say anything, you just do your own thing, but having him be there, having his presence–it’s more than enough for you. 

When you climb into bed, you try and read for a while, the sounds of Billy washing his face comforting you. You find it easy to read even when he does get in with you, the mattress sinking underneath his weight, the sheets rustling as he moves around experimentally, trying to get comfortable in a bed that isn’t his own. 

You feel odd though, reading when he’s right there, so it isn’t long before you close the book and slide further into the covers with him. Billy’s quick to turn on his side, wanting to see you like this. 

He watches you yank the blankets up to your chin, looking at him over a blur of fluffy white comforter. “It’s fuckin’ freezin’ in here,” you tell him.

“C’mere then.”

You burrow further into your pillow, fearing you know exactly what he’s going to suggest. “Huh?”

“You’re cold. You always whine about me being warm or somethin’ and I’m telling you to come here.”

“Billy.”

“Stop.” He lifts the covers up some, untucking you from them, and he wraps his arm around your back, tugging you into his side. 

Suddenly you’re pressed against him, having slid across the sheets easier than you’d have imagined. 

He’s let go of you, his arm hovering over your back. “You want me to hold you or no?” 

“Yeah.” 

Billy lets his arm drop against your side, his fingers splaying out over your back. He rubs his hand up and down your spine, hoping it’ll warm you up. “This okay?” 

“Yes.” 

He nods. You’re looking at him like he’s something special.

Billy realizes, in that moment, that that’s how you’ve always looked at him. Even before. 

He also realizes that your hands are tucked under your chin and your legs are curled up and into you like you’re afraid of making any contact with him. 

“You can loosen up, you know. It’s just me.” 

You let out a breath of a laugh, and he can feel it against the skin of his neck. 

“It’s okay, I promise. You can touch me.” Billy has this feeling that you’re afraid of hurting him. He’s sure you’ve noticed that he’s wearing a shirt to bed, something he never did before. And he thinks that you’re worried he’ll break. 

“You’re sure?”

“Wouldn’t have said so otherwise.”

He watches you unfold your hands and stretch your arm over him, hooking it around his hip. You want to rub up and down his side, but you’re nervous. 

It’s just me. 

“Do they hurt at all?”

Your thumb skates up a little further, and you don’t have to tell him what you mean. 

“Not all the time,” he says, voice low and thick with drowsiness. “At first, yeah, like hell. Now it’s just sometimes. They can feel a little tight, or just bug me. Depends, I guess.”

You nod, feeling brave enough now to slide your hand up a little further. Your touch is light, barely there. You close your eyes, trying not to think about when it happened. How he’d screamed. 

He can tell when you’ve calmed down some, because your arm relaxes and you hug him a little more firmly. You scoot in a little closer, close enough that your noses would touch if you tried to make them. 

“Goodnight, Billy.”

He makes the move, dragging the tip of his nose across your forehead. He kisses the top of your head, and you grin so wide you feel like a kid in a candy shop. 

“Goodnight, baby.”

————

When you wake up, you almost don’t want to disturb him, but you know you should get out of bed.

Billy is sprawled out on his stomach, having separated from you at some point during the night. His tank top is rucked up from the tossing and turning of sleep, and you look away when you catch a glimpse of pink skin. It doesn’t feel like your place to look. 

You wander out of the room, carefully shutting the door behind you. You make it down the hall, and find that Robin seems to be the only other one awake. You should’ve guessed. She told you once before that her body doesn’t seem to let her sleep in. 

Steve is still passed out on the pull-out couch, completely covered by the blankets. The only sign of him is a tuft of messy hair against the light colored pillow case his head rests on. 

Robin waves at you from her perch at the kitchen counter, a bowl of cereal in front of her. “Want some?” she whispers, pushing the box in your direction. 

You fill up your own bowl, having a feeling that Robin is about to ramble. 

“Sleep okay?” she asks. 

“Mhm. You?”

“Fine. Though, y’know, Steve is a horrific bed hog. Seriously, he was half on top of me the whole night. I might have to bunk with Max and El.” 

You laugh, and Robin takes that as her queue to ask what she’s been pondering since she woke up. 

“Was it okay? Sleeping with Billy? Well, not like that. Well, I’m assuming not like that, not that there’s anything wrong with that, but I just meant like actually sleeping? Please stop me.”

You grin at her. “Please breathe, Rob.” She does, over exaggerating her inhales. “And it was fine.”

“Okay, good. I was kind of worried you’d be frustrated with my matchmaking tendencies. I just really want you two to be happy. And he seems so calm when he’s with you, and I realize I’ve just told you that I’ve been pushing you two together and I–”

You wipe milk from your chin, having almost spit out your cereal. “Robin, sweetheart, it’s okay, I promise. I know about your matchmaking tendencies. But I think we’re just friends, right?”

“Just friends, my ass.” You hadn’t even seen Steve get up, but he’s reaching for the fridge and pulling out a carton of chocolate milk. He really can’t say anything about Dustin’s eating habits when he has the exact same diet. 

“Oh my god.”

“Listen, I’m just saying, there’s been something going on between you two since before the world went to shit. I don’t know why you two tiptoe around each other like it’s not obvious that you’re in love.”

“Steve!” you exclaim. “Seriously, what the hell? I’ve been up for like twenty minutes and you two are schooling me on my love life?”

“Or lack thereof,” Robin says. 

“Okay, damn. You know what, I’m going back to bed.” 

Steve pushes your bowl back towards you when you attempt to get up. “No, you’re not. I’m just saying, there’s no sense in avoiding this. You both clearly feel a lot for each other, and I don’t see any reason to avoid it when you could be together.” 

He’s being vulnerable with you, his big brown eyes boring into yours and trying to convey how serious he’s being. 

“Just think about it, okay? There’s no harm in talking about how you feel with him. And don’t say that you don’t feel anything, because that’s a goddamn lie.”

————

Billy’s had his swim trunks on all day, but he hasn’t done more than sit in the shade by the pool while everyone else makes a mess and plays ridiculous games in the water. 

It’s killing him to watch you in there from time to time, swimming around or sitting in the shallow end. You told him once that swimming calms you down. 

It’s not until after dinner, when everyone has moved inside for the most part, though there seems to be the plotting of a water balloon fight out front, that he’s brave enough to head for the pool. 

You follow him out there, see him contemplating the water. 

“Whatcha doin’?” 

Billy drops the cigarette he’d been smoking, snubbing it out. “Thought about going for a swim,” he tells you. 

“That sounds nice.”

“Mhm.”

“I can go back inside, if you want.”

Billy turns to face you. “No. No, I want you to stay.” He wants you to see. He can’t explain why, but he does. 

“Okay.” 

He takes a shaky breath, hoping you don’t catch it. You do. You always do. 

“I just…wasn’t ready for everyone to see.”

“I understand, Billy.” 

You know what he’s really saying. He wasn’t ready for everyone to see. But he’s ready for you to see. 

“I can get in first, if that helps. And I won’t look if you don’t want me to,” you say. 

“That helps, yeah. And you can look. It’s okay.”

He watches you wade in, watches the way your swimsuit changes color as you tread water. 

Billy takes another deep breath, and he’s pulling his shirt off. He’s quick though, diving straight into the deep end, knowing he needs to get it over with. 

When he comes up, his hair is sticking to his forehead, and he flips it out of the way, giving you a glimpse of the broad pink scar on his chest. 

He meets you halfway, and you think he’s in a serious mood until he’s splashing you like a child. 

“You motherfucker!” 

You get him back, and he’s laughing. 

Billy is laughing and he looks so pretty in the last of the day’s sunlight, beads of water sliding over his collarbones and down his arms, and you feel like you could die. Like seeing him this way is enough. You don’t need anything else.

You try to return a particularly aggressive splash, but he catches your waist, pulling you up and over his shoulder. 

“Billy!”

“What?” His voice is teasing. He tosses the rest of the way over, your laughter fading out into the water. 

You come up, a brilliant smile on his face. Billy’s sure if you stood close enough you’d be able to hear his heart beating. 

When you’ve both gone quiet, your eyes drop to the scars on his sides, the way they stretch across his skin, mean and twisting. Some spots are darker than others, and while it hurts you to look at them, you know it must hurt him even more. But he looks just as beautiful as before, if not increasingly so. 

“See something you like?” Billy says it on instinct. To hide the fact that he’s worried you don’t really like it. That maybe you think he’s gross looking. But he knows that’s all in his head. He fucking knows it. 

“You’re fucking gorgeous, Billy Hargrove.”

You say it with such surety, such admiration, that he can’t even begin to doubt that you mean it. 

He smiles at you. It’s boyish. You’d do anything to see a million more of them. 

He moves towards you, the sky having darkened enough that the outside lights have come on, the lights in the pool too. All that remains of the sun is a slash of deep orange, though the night quickly pushes it away.

Billy’s got you backed up against the wall of the pool now. His hands find your sides.

It’s overwhelming, having him this close. You can feel his breath on your face, see the rise and fall of his chest, the freckles on his cheeks. 

When he kisses you, you think your heart stops. His mouth is warm against yours, and he tastes a little like chlorine, but you don’t care. Your hands find his face, and you’re smiling so hard that he pulls away because he wants to see. You don’t let him for long though, pulling him back, wanting more. He laughs into your mouth, and your chest aches with this feeling.

Eventually you do let go, and when you hold his eye contact, he knows what you’re going to say. He needs to tell you first, though.

“I’m in love with you, you know.”

“I know,” you respond.

He tosses his head back in a laugh, and you press a sweet kiss to his throat. 

“I’m in love with you too, Billy.”

“Damn right you are.”

You snort against his chest, lowering slightly to kiss his scar. His breath catches. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve you. 

“About fucking time!” Steve’s shouting and Robin is yelling, and Max would be making barf sounds if she wasn’t so pleased with seeing her brother so happy. 

“So much for that,” Billy says.

But you wouldn’t have it any other way. 

————

“I’m regretting this, Billy.”

“Stop whining.”

Billy wraps his arms tighter around your back, pressing a kiss to your jaw in hopes that you’ll let him keep doing this. 

“Get off.”

“No.”

“Get off, please.”

“Make me.” 

There’s the sound of a slap, your hand having met his ass.

He raises his head from where he’d buried it in your chest, looking at you drowsily. “You just spanked me.”

And you’d do it again. 

“Didn’t work, did it?”

“No. Shut up and take it.”

By that he means continue letting him lay on top of you, his entire body pressed to yours. It doesn’t matter to him that there’s an entire bed, one that’s made for two people.

You settle for playing with his hair, something he seems to enjoy, and you’d mess with him about the fact that he’s essentially purring if it weren’t for him looking so content. 

He might be heavy, but having Billy Hargrove sleep on top of you isn’t exactly something you just give up. 

He’s never had this before.

Hell, you’ve never had this before. 

And he thinks it’s healing him. More than the salve he puts on his scars, or the physical therapy, or fixing up the Camaro. 

You’re healing him. You. 

————

please let me know if you liked this! feedback is always appreciated!! comments and reblogs mean more than you know. <33

#savannah’s fics #billy hargrove #billy hargrove x reader #billy hargrove x you #billy hargrove x y/n #billy hargrove x gn!reader #billy hargrove x gender neutral reader #billy hargrove fic #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove comfort #billy hargrove fluff #billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove fanfiction #max mayfield #steve harrington #robin buckley #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson #will byers #billy stranger things fic #billy stranger things #bookshelf-dust’s 1k celebration

[matrixbearer2024]

Okay okay, hear me out! Vox POV of the "Get Off My Screen" series with Velvette or Valentino finding out about collage reader.

How would that go? Would Vox even tell us that they know? What would those two think of Vox hiding this from them? "You mean to tell me, you accidentally found a way to commune with the world of the living MONTHS AGO, AND DIDN'T TELL US?!" - Val or Vel (not shipping reader with those two tho, just Val and Vel finding out about Vox's crush on a human (Valentino being pissy about it))

Oops, Guess I Spilled The Tea

Vox x CollegeStudent!Reader

A/N: Wowowowow I have so many filler episodes now ahdosndkaks the direct continuation is actually finished and I'll probably post it right after I finish the interludes. Even if I'm working on the finale, if you guys come up with any ideas or suggestions still feel free to drop them in and I'll write out the scenario! Whether it's before Reader's death or after, go on and drop the idea in my inbox! After all, what's a good story without the fun content? As always, happy reading and I hope you all enjoy this installment!

A/N: While I initially wanted this to be more comedic and lighthearted, I don't think Vox would be taking it that way by the time this confrontation happens. He and dear Reader have been chatting together for a little over a year and a half by now, so while he has loyalties to the Vees- he's probably a protective mess all the more since he'd been slowly catching feelings too.

Waking up that day, Vox grunted when he realized it was his phone buzzing to life that roused him.

Ughh... wasn't his daily alarm for a few more minutes?

Sitting up and stretching, he sleepily grabbed his phone to check who'd want to bother him so early in the day.

Only to end up with a dopey smile on his face when he realized it was just you.

Somehow, you'd actually risen earlier than him this time.

"Wakey wakey eggs and bakey you workaholic picturebox!"

That was rare, he knew you were the type to have a million alarms because the first one wouldn't be enough to get your butt out of bed.

Well, he probably wouldn't want to get up either if it was waking up to you.

Wait-

What?

What the fuck.

Vox shook his head, woah... okay- maybe he wasn't quite awake yet.

"Well aren't you just a ray of sunshine, what's got you so cheery this hellish morning?"

He replied back with a waving emoji of himself, taking his phone with him as he left his bedroom to go and make a cup of coffee.

Unlike you, who for whatever reason he couldn't understand-

Preferred tea.

He chuckled remembering how that conversation went.

"Ehhh??? You like drinking your coffee black? Remind me never to share a morning drink with you."

"Oh really, what's your drink of choice then? Can't be much better."

"I like drinking tea thank you very much, it's healthier too from what I've heard."

"Ewww, leaf water."

"Ewww, bean juice."

A fond smile unconsciously wormed onto his screen as he turned on the coffee machine.

"Bean juice... that's so fucking stupid."

Though as quickly as his smile appeared, Vox replaced it with a poker face when his acquaintances came into the room.

Velvette was expectedly on her phone and Valentino was just dragging himself to the breakfast table.

His good mood would've just shattered had his phone not buzzed again and taken his attention.

You sent him a selfie of you on the way to university, the morning sun lighting up your face and your surroundings.

Not to mention the genuinely cheerful expression you wore.

Vox didn't really remember much about the mornings from when he was alive.

After all, it was a long time ago.

But this... seeing your picture-

That made the overlord think he'd crutially missed something when he was alive.

His fans whirred louder as he stared at your picture-

Were you always that pretty?

Though he was quick to click off it when the coffee machine beeped loudly, reminding him it was done.

"It's amazing outside! Seriously dude, if you weren't all dead and everything you'd probably enjoy the weather today."

He slowly sipped his coffee while typing back a reply with his free hand.

"Maybe? I'm not really a morning person, you know I get up just because I have to."

"Well who knows, it's not like we can find out now anyway. Anyhowww, I hope your day goes well! I know it rarely does with Valentino's tantrums and Alastor screwing up your stuff but still!"

"Forever the optimist huh?"

"Nah, I just think today would go great for both of us. Call it a hunch."

Vox just rolled his eyes before putting the phone down.

He was thankful he'd been drinking coffee, otherwise there was no way he could conceal the grin that threatened to break out on his face.

Though, what he hadn't expected were the other two Vees to be staring at him like he'd grown three heads.

He glanced between them and suspiciously raised an eyebrow.

What was going on in their minds?

"Vox, who the hell were you on the phone with?"

Velvette spoke first, crossing her arms and staring at the overlord in question with narrowed eyes.

Did she wake up on the wrong side of the bed this morning?

Vox didn't bother answering her question, just continuing to drink his coffee.

"Oh come on Voxy~ you haven't been spending much time with me either~"

Next came Valentino's whining, stretching along of his hands to sensually stroke his colleague's arm.

To which Vox just pulled away from the moth's grasp and made an odd expression.

The other two Vees knew what that was.

Disgust and annoyance.

It's never happened before to Vox's knowledge-

It's never happened that Valentino's hands on him just felt so... wrong.

Especially when the pimp overlord used to warm his bed or even take him for a rough night to forget the day's stresses and problems.

Nights that Vox had completely forgotten over the course of time he'd been chatting with you.

Nights that became less and less of an occurrence when your friendship blossomed.

All to the point they'd stopped entirely.

It was a subconscious decision, a bad habit he didn't notice that changed until today.

Of course- his reaction didn't sit well with the moth.

"You fucking asshole! Who the hell is it Vox?! Have you been fucking another whore behind my back?!"

Vox felt his blood boil, he didn't know even know why-

Why he felt so... angry for you.

Angry that Valentino thought you were just another fling.

Angry that you'd been disrespected and called a "whore".

He let out a frustrated sigh and put his coffee mug down.

So much for having a pleasant morning like you'd hoped for him.

"I don't owe either of you an explanation. I don't need to justify why I've been doing the things I have nor do I need to always tell you guys what I'm doing."

Vox glared at both his colleagues, the words ended up spilling from his mouth before he could stop them.

He didn't know why he suddenly felt protective of you, even when he knew neither Valentino or Velvette could capitalize on your peculiar situation without his help anyway.

Not that they'd want to.

You weren't anything special to them.

Not a person of power, influence or even wealth.

You were just you.

A person who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Or well, by conventional standards.

You always told Vox you didn't think so, sometimes even going as far to call his company a blessing in disguise.

Ha, as if.

"It's nothing big anyways, you're just making a fuss."

Valentino slammed his fist on the table when Vox brushed him off.

Did he fucking think he was better than them or something?!

Tensions rose high in the room, until the familiar sound of a phone buzzing caught the attention of all three.

It wasn't Velvette.

It wasn't Valentino either.

Which only left Vox.

The technology overlord sprung up from his chair to grab the device which was just nonchalantly resting on the table.

But he wasn't quite fast enough.

Velvette swiped the device before he could grab it and unlocked the device.

Of course she'd know all the passwords, who do you think managed all the Vees social media accounts?

Though, what she saw nearly made her drop the phone.

"You've been talking to a LIVING person this entire time and you hadn't told us?! How long has this been going on for Vox?!"

Velvette screeched, causing the overlord in question to cringe from her tone.

Blegh... she was like a haughty child.

Valentino's reaction wasn't any better, ripping the phone out of Vel's hands and just continuing to yell at Vox.

At this point, he'd just turned his hearing sensitivity all the way down.

At any rate, his day was pretty much ruined already thanks to them sticking their noses in his business.

"'Professor's being a bitch again, how's your day been going?' Vox who the fuck is this?!"

"Just someone who got caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, nothing special."

"Uh huh, you wouldn't be so protective if they weren't special to you."

Valentino was about to type out an angry reply to you before the phone in his hand erupted into sparks and frayed wires.

Vox didn't want to resort to it, but he could always just get a replacement phone.

Better than you possibly getting the wrong idea.

Even if he had to explain later on that his colleagues were not really happy that he'd hid this situation from them.

"We will continue this conversation later, I have a broadcast in ten minutes and I cannot be fucking late."

With that, he'd left both Velvette and Valentino irritated and angry with him beyond belief.

Stepping back into his bedroom, Vox leaned back against the closed door with a sigh.

Just a year ago and he would have thought nothing of your situation.

He wouldn't have cared if his colleagues found out-

Hell, he would've probably encouraged them to bother and annoy you.

If they even took advantage, he wouldn't have batted an eye.

But now...

Vox rubbed a clawed hand over his screen.

What in Lucifer's name was fucking wrong with him?

A/N: 👀 Voxy is just confused and stressed, the story can't all be sunshine and rainbows but this isn't exactly angst? All this drama while our dear (Y/N) is just going about her day HAHAHAHAHA- So here have some tension on a plate while I go back to making more lighthearted stuff :)

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin vox #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #vox #hazbin vox x reader #vox x you #Get Off My Screen Series

[forensicheart]

One Way Trip

Max Verstappen x Reader

Summary: Max gets his debut in f1 and he wants his best friend to be there like they always have.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

You groaned as their phone buzzed, the screen flashing on and off as texts spammed through. When the texts didn't stop you lifted their head of the pillow to glance at the clock on their bedside. 4:02am it read. Usually you would wonder who was bothering you so intensely this time of morning but you knew exactly who it was. Before you could even reach for the phone to check the texts still coming through your phone began to rang.

"What in the world could be that important that you couldn't wait a few more hours to tell me Max?" You grumbled down the phone with tiredness.

"I'm in. I'm racing in f1!" This seemed to shake the tiredness right out of you as they sat up with shock.

"Tell me you're not messing with me Max" Max let out a short laugh, one full of shock and excitement more than anything.

"I'm serious Y/n, I'm making my debut!" A smile overtakes your face.

"Holy shit! Max, that's amazing!" The line stays silent for a moment as the two friends take in the exciting news, wide smiles on both of your faces. Suddenly the silence is broken.

"Come with me"

"What?" You responds confused by Max's sudden request.

"Come with me Y/n. You have been by my side since the beginning and I want you to keep being by my side" The silent resumes as you take in Max's words.

"But Max, I-" Max seems to be prepared for whatever you has to say though as he doesn't give you the time to finish.

"I know you would be leaving your family behind, your other friends, school, everything but please, I need you with me. You can visit your family and friends whenever you wish, we'll find a school for you or a way for you to do it online, I'll make sure you still get to do the course you've always wanted. We can make it work Y/n, I just want you with me"

"You're asking me to just drop everything and fly around the world with you Max, drop a secure and stable plan and life that I have here and go along with the craziness that we both know will come with this debut. I don't know if I can do that" Max lets out a sigh as you sit, stunned by how much Max wants you coming with him.

"Just, take some time to think it over, please?" You knows that Max will respect your decision but won't drop it till you make one.

"Ok, I'll think it over"

"Thank you" And with that the dial tone is heard and you let your arm fall to their side, phone still in hand as you glance at the clock once more, seeing it now reads, 4:28am. Might as well get a few more hours of sleep in before making the big decision.

A few hours later you wake up to the feeling of a weight making the bed dip slightly. You open your eyes to see your mum looking at you with a smile.

"Morning sweetie"

"Morning mum" You yawn.

"There's someone here to see you, do you mind if I let them in" You nod knowing there wasn't much use saying no and your mums gets up and leaves the room only to have Max enter a few seconds after taking the spot your mum had just been.

"Hey"

"Hey Max" You sit up to be face to face with Max as you rub your eyes free of sleep as Max fiddles with his hands anxiously.

"I'm sorry to barge in like this, I know I said that you could think it over but plans have changed and I've been asked to fly out in an hour"

"An hour? Max that's not enough time to make a decision that might change my life just because you want me with you" And you were right, you'd only been asked a few hours ago to go with Max and now you we're expected to have an answer in this moment.

You had just made it into your dream course at a high level university, you'd made friends you imagined would be life long and you were happy and settled here. But. Max was your best friend, partner in crime, your everything. How are you meant to make that choice so suddenly. As if you needed more reason to be so unsure you're suddenly pulled from your thoughts as lips met yours. Kissing you with passion that you'd never felt before, making your decision come clear with just the one action. But it still left you with one question.

"Why do you want me to come with you Max?"

"I already told you, you-"

"No Max. You told me why before you kissed me, now I'm asking again. Why do you want me to come with you Max?" Max took a deep breath, looking away from you but holding your hands tightly in his.

"Because I love you. Because I've loved you since the first day we met back in kindergarten, since you stood up for me as other kids picked on me for my outfit. And yes, it's cliche, it's so cliche to be confessing my love to you, my childhood best friend but I'm doing it because it's the truth. I want you with me Y/n, through everything and anything that comes at me, at us. I want you to be there for me and I want to be there for you too, I want you to have the life you've always wanted but selfishly I want you to come with me on this crazy journey for my dream life too and my dream life includes you" Max speaks fast but without stumbling and his little speech has you stunned once more.

"It's a one way trip Max, once I make this decision there isn't much room to turn back" You sigh as your hand comes up to gently grab Max's chin, making him look at you. "But I'm willing to go on this one way trip with you Max, because I know you'll make it my dream life just as much as yours and I love you for that, as my best friend and... as something more" Max gives your hands a squeeze, letting you pull him down slightly to kiss him and he pulls away grinning brightly at you.

"I believe we have a plane to catch" You chuckle as you look into Max's eyes.

"I believe we do"

#characters #writing #love #imagines #requests are open #f1 imagine #max verstappen #f1 max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen imagine

[embrosegraves]

𝔻𝕖𝕔𝕖𝕟𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕊𝕞𝕦𝕘

(request) Carlos Sainz Jr x Reader "Are you decent?" "Probably not morally, but I've got clothes on, if that's what you're asking"

Dating a Formula One driver meant that life would never be smooth sailing. For a lot of people, this was terrifying and if you were honest with yourself, it did scare you a bit at first. However now that you were a few years into it, it wasn’t as bad as you once thought. Sure there were moments that you wished you could live even a tiny bit more privately, but such is life unfortunately. One thing you were grateful for about this chaotic spin on life (besides your boyfriend of course), was that your career was thriving. There was no way your career wouldn’t thrive. You were a lifestyle vlogger with access to the unadvertised side of a world famous athlete. 

You had been filming snippets of your life long before you had crossed paths with Carlos. Having been in the vlogging business for 8 years now, you had been dating Carlos for 3. Carlos was well aware of your career choice and while it had taken him a while to get used to you filming every other week, he eventually came to terms with it. He even managed to start having a bit of fun with it. Your fans always loved when Carlos made a cameo in your videos.

Currently, Carlos was getting dressed in your shared ensuite, having just finished showering after his training session, while you were filming in the kitchen. Today had been a filming day for you. You had taken the camera with you as you went grocery shopping, explaining that you were planning a home date for Carlos and yourself. You filmed as you went shopping for a small gift to give Carlos and you filmed as you prepped the food you planned to cook with Carlos later. 

Originally, you were content with waiting for Carlos to be done before you even went near the bedroom but you had forgotten something that you had left on your vanity. Camera in hand, you thought why not record the retrieval as a sort of spy-esque montage. It would be fun for the fans and yourself, and who could say no to pretending to be a spy? Opening your bedroom door, you moved the camera in a way that made it look like you rolly-pollied your way across your room. Making sure the camera was facing you, you began to ‘sneakily’ rummage through everything on your vanity in search for the “hidden jewel that had been stolen by pirates”. However it was nowhere to be seen. 

“Alright guys, I think we’ll have to give up on being spies. I’m pretty sure I left it in the ensuite because it’s not on my vanity.” You explained to the camera. “There’s just one problem. Carlos is currently in said ensuite and I have no idea if he’s naked or not. Which isn’t normally a problem but I’m selfish so I’m gonna gatekeep that from you all.”  

You quickly made your way to the ensuite door and knocked loud enough for Carlos to hear over his music. You could hear him turn off his music. 

“Yeah?” He called from inside. 

“I’m filming.” You said. “Are you decent?” 

“I mean probably not morally, but I’ve got clothes on if that’s what you meant.” You heard him laugh to himself as you opened the door. You poked your head through first, just to be safe. Seeing that he was indeed dressed, you moved the camera to face him. 

“I’m keeping that in, I hope you know that.” 

“I would hope so, that was hilarious. The people need to know that I’m funny.” He walked up to you and gave you a kiss. “Did you need something?” 

“Mmm.” You hummed as his hands came to rest on your hips. “I honestly don’t even remember what it was.” 

Carlos chuckled before he grabbed something from the bathroom counter. He held it in front of you with a smirk on his face. 

“It wouldn’t happen to be the mini ring light that you always forget to put back on your vanity, would it?” 

Your sheepish smile told him everything he needed to know.

overall, I'm pretty happy with how this turned out. With twitter in shambles over what happened, I thought I'd post the Carlos request I had in my drafts, as a treat/distraction.

I hope you all enjoyed!

Likes, replies and reblogs are always appreciated!

#formula 1 x you #f1 x reader #f1 fluff #formula one #formula 1 #carlos sainz x you #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz jr x reader #carlos sainz #cs55 #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz jr fluff #carlos sainz jr imagine #carlos sainz jr fanfic

[taylorsv3rsion13]

we never go out of style || c.f.

CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

words: 3.0k

synopsis : things were always rocky for conrad and you. after the whole break up, will everything be the same the year later? or will it all turn to shit.

"Good morning, Y/N" Susannah said as she entered my room.

I got up almost instantly, "Oh god, am I late?" I asked.

She laughed a little, "No, you're fine, don't worry."

Susannah hopped onto my bed, looking at me with a cute smile, "Are you ready for your big day."

I shook my head no, "Nope."

"Oh yes you are." She said to me.

"But what if I trip? Or I step on Jeremiah's foot?" I asked.

"You won't, just hold onto Jeremiah." She said, laughing a little, "He won't let you fall."

I laughed a little as well, "That's true."

"You know..." Susannah began, "I still don't know how you got him to be your escort. He swore up and down that he'd never go to any of these things."

I laughed a little.

"Well, he'd do anything for you." She tucked a piece of hair behind my ear. "They both would."

My smile faltered a little, as I looked around my room, avoiding eye contact with Susannah.

"Everything okay?" Susannah asked.

I nodded quickly, "Yeah."

"Did I push you into this?" Susannah asked, "You can tell me the truth."

"Um... maybe a little at first, but. I really don't mind, I just want to make you happy."

Susannah sighed a little, "Look, honestly, we don't even need to go tonight if you don't want to, okay?"

"No, no, I want to go." I said, smiling up at her. "And I'm kind of excited for people to see me."

Susannah smiled as she placed out foreheads together.

"I love you so much beautiful girl." She said as she held back tears. "Okay um. When they take your photograph, remember to say prune! It'll make your cheekbones look divine." Susanna said.

"Prune?" I asked, trying to see if it would work.

"It's an old trick I learned from Madonna... or was it the Olsen twins?" Susannah said, trying to figure out where she had learned this from.

She hopped off my bed, "Okay, meet me downstairs. There's a surprise for you." She smiled.

I sighed looking at the dress hanging up on my door. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but if Susannah wanted me to wear it, I was more than happy to.

I walked downstairs, not really knowing what to expect. In the living room, stood Susannah, Laurel, and Belly, showing off a beautiful dress. No, they were showing off the dress.

"You got me the dress I wanted?" I said, almost speechless as a large smile grew on my face.

I looked at all of three of them, my mind blown.

"Thank you!" I laughed as I walked up to them.

I gave all three of them the biggest hugs I have ever given anyone in my life.

I finished getting a somewhat more normal outfit on as I made my way into the kitchen where Belly was.

"Hey, Good morning. Um, I picked up some of the muffins that you liked." Conrad said immediately as I walked in, placing them on the counter.

"I-um, I'm not really hungry actually. Thank you, though."

"Oh, girls, you should get going." Susannah announced. "Oh and everyone, stay out of the family room. I've done all of the paintings and tonight we'll have the big unveiling."

Susannah gave the boys a number of things to carry to the Laurel's car.

"Laurel, aren't you coming?" I asked as I put my shoes on.

"I'm going with Susannah, I was thinking Belly could drive you guys?"

Belly and I turned to each other and screamed loudly as she took the keys from her mom.

Belly ran out first as her mom gave me orders to have Belly follow. I raced out of the kitchen.

"Hey." Conrad called out to me.

I stopped in my tracks, "Yeah?"

"Break a leg."

I gasped, "That'd be horrible. I'm supposed to be dancing all night."

Conrad stammered, "I just.. I meant, um, I just mean good luck. It's like, a thing, people, um, say." He rambled.

I laughed a little as he tried to fix his sentence.

"For what it's worth, Jere was the right choice." Conrad said.

"Yeah, uhm, I know." I said awkwardly, before leaving.

Jere leaned against Laurel's car as Belly had already started the engine.

"Don't be nervous, we'll be the best waltzers out there." He joked.

"I'm not nervous. But also, I'm sorry about the volleyball game, I just was really competitive."

"No, It's fine, I understand." He laughed.

"Thank you, Jere." I gave him a big hug before walking into Bell's car.

Belly and I walked into the room together, and it was hectic.

Girls running around trying to get their hair and makeup done. Some not as shaved as they would like and others giving up and resting in their bra's.

"You guys are here!" Shayla exclaimed, her hairs in large rollers.

We hung up our dresses as we said hi to Shayla.

"Come, I've saved you guys spots."

My chair was besides Nicole's who didn't bother to say anything to me.

"You guys should really talk." Shayla said as she looked between us.

"Nicole, I'm really really sorry." I said.

"For what? Conrad? I'm over it, I'm here with someone else." She said. Though, her voice did sound a little passive agressive.

"Nicole, I never meant for that to happen and I know it's dumb and it means absolutely nothing, but I've liked him since I was a little girl. And I thought I got over him last year, but I guess I didn't fully and I distanced myself from him as much as I could. I'm really really sorry." I explained.

"We can't help that Conrad's a fuck boy." She said as she was slumped in her chair.

"Look I'm over him." I said, giving her a soft smile.

"No one get's over their first love, really." Nicole said before returning back to her makeup.

Belly and I were one of the last ones to finish getting ready. We had helped each other with our hair and dresses and then makeup was brutal.

"I don't know how much longer I can stare at myself." I sighed, getting a headache from just being in the small room.

"You look gorgeous, if I was you I'd stare at myself all day." Belly said from beside me, making me laugh.

"You look amazing Bells, I don't think I'd be able to do this on my own."

I had curled my hair, adding braids to the sides for a more crown affect or so, while Belly's was in a low bun with a beautiful pearl headband.

"I think it's time, Bells." I said getting up as she followed.

Neither of us picked up the red rose bouquet, just staring at it.

I sighed looking up at her and grabbing her arms. "We're growing up, I love you."

At the same time, the two of us grabbed our bouquets, walking out of the dressing room.

I stood behind Belly as we waited for our names to be called.

"Prune. Prune." Belly whispered to herself.

"Oh god, did Susannah teach you that as well?" I asked.

She nodded as we both laughed silently.

"Isabel Conklin, daughter of John Conklin and Laurel Park." They said as Belly and Cam began walking the stage.

They met in the middle and I watched as Belly's face began to contort in multiple ways, attempting to say prune which I laughed at a little.

I looked straight ahead though, remembering the next person called would be me.

Jeremiah smiled at me from the other side of the wings.

Before I knew it, it was my turn.

"Y/N L/N, daughter of Amanda L/N and James L/N."

I walked and met Jeremiah in the middle.

I looked into the crowd, immediately making eye contact with Conrad. God his stupid smile. It just made me smile even more.

I could feel his eyes on me as I walked down from the stage and onto the dance floor.

"You look beautiful." Laurel mouthed to me.

I went to Susannah, hugging her from the back and giving her my bouquet.

She got up as well and gave me a full hug.

I gave a small curtsy as I made my way back to Jeremiah.

"How was the curtsy?" I asked.

"The queen would be proud," He joked.

It hit me now, that when I was with Jeremiah, it felt like there was no one else. All I had to do was look at him.

I watched Laurel get up from her seat quickly. My eyes met Belly's and she mouthed 'what happened'. I shrugged in response, not understanding what had happened either.

"Where is she going?" I asked Jeremiah.

"I don't know."

The escorts began their dance shortly after as the debs walked off the dance floor and sitting at their assigned tables.

The dance began and Belly and I wooed over the applause as we laughed as well. They looked hilarious, but the guys also looked like they were having the time of their lives.

We all stood up as their dance ended, applauding them and screaming, but I could see Jeremiah's face dropping with every second.

Paige clanked a knife to her glass, announcing to us that it was time for the big dance.

"Where'd Jeremiah go?" I asked Belly as I looked around. He never came back to the table.

Cam and Belly looked at each other, and now we knew our night was fucked.

"He'll be here in a minute, I'm sure." Susannah reassured me. "But go! Get ready."

"Okay," I said laughing nervously.

I looked around awkwardly, trying to find Jeremiah, but he wasn't anywhere. Most of the girls were paired up with their partners by now.

"Have you guys seen Jeremiah?" I asked as I approached Gigi and her group of friends.

"I think I saw him go outside." Gigi said to me.

I hated this feeling. Everyone standing and staring at me. Judging me almost.

I looked over to my right and Conrad was standing there, looking straight at me and I was staring straight at him.

I could feel the stares from everyone else as they stared at the two of us as well.

I smiled a little as he walked over to me.

It was like the pieces clicked when I was with Conrad. Like we were always meant to fucking be.

"I think I remember most of the steps." Conrad said quietly.

And at that moment, I knew this was happening all over again. Me. Conrad. Us.

The two of us got into our different lines, our eyes never leaving each others.

The music began and the two of us turned as I turned into his arm. It wasn't what I had expected, but deep down I knew this was the moment I had waited for all of my life.

I was Conrad's sun. And I helped the night disappear. I helped the world disappear from everything around him.

The whole time Conrad and I were on the dance floor, we never looked away. No matter how hard we tried, we just couldn't.

When it came time for the dip in the dance, it lasted longer than it was supposed to as our eyes glanced up and down from our eyes to each others mouths.

"Oh, um. Thank you." I said as the dance ended and the crowd applauded.

"I think I messed up some of the steps." Conrad said nervously.

"No, no, you were fine. You were great." I said.

"I'm glad... I'm glad that it was me." He said seriously.

I smiled up at him as he fidgeted with my fingers. I was glad that it was him as well. When I was with Conrad it was like all of my worries were gone.

"Hey." Jeremiah said as he came up to Conrad.

"Hey, Jeremiah." I smiled, "Where ha-"

"Conrad. We need to talk, all right?" Jeremiah said. His eyes were wet. "It's important. It's about mom. I found something out."

Conrad just stared at Jeremiah. "Um.. yeah, we'll talk about this later, okay?"

"No it's important." Jeremiah urged.

"It's okay." Conrad said as he placed his hand on Jeremiah's chest. Something the boys had done whenever the other was on edge.

"You already know... Don't you." Jeremiah's eyes were bloodshot by now.

"Conrad knows what?" I asked, curious.

"You've known this whole fucking time and you didn't even tell me?" Jeremiah asked, his voice raising.

"Jere." Conrad said to try to calm his brother down.

That didn't seem to work as I watched Jeremiah punch Conrad in the face with all the strength he had in him.

Jeremiah rammed into Conrad as he tried to beat his brother up. Though, I watched as Conrad tried his best to not hurt his brother.

Susannah rushed over, "Stop it. Both of you, stop it." Her voice was raised, which was a rare occurance.

Both of the boys let go of each other as they rolled on the floor.

"What is going on?" Susannah asked sternly.

The boys stood in front of her. And all I could do was wonder.

"Mom..." Jeremiah croaked.

"We know, Mom." Conrad said. "We both know."

Belly and I turned at each other, quietly mouthing what was going on.

"Know what?" Belly and I asked in sync as Susannah's face dropped.

And here I was, crying on the floor in my room. I didn't have anyone to go to. Susannah was with the boys, Laurel was with Belly and Steven.

All I had was the fact that Susannah had cancer yet again.

I don't think I've ever cried that much in my life. Not over a broken bone, or a heartbreak. Not over Conrad.

But here I was, in my shiny white dress, a mess on the floor as I sobbed uncontrollably.

I felt dumb, stupid even. Susannah had been going through this all summer, and I never noticed, to worked up over boys and friends.

I could hear the mixed cries from Belly's room. Some were hers and some were Laurels. With each one my heart broke even more. Now I understood why Susannah kept making comments about this summer.

She was right, this might be the last summer we're all in Cousins together.

I walked down the hall slowly out of my room. Steven was outside of Belly's room, looking as if he was to scared to knock.

Our eyes met and I sobbed even more as he held out his arms for me.

"It's gonna be okay, Y/N/N" He mumbled.

Susannah, Conrad, and Jeremiah all sat on the couch in the living room. None of them were crying. They saw me emerge from the doorway though.

Susannah motioned for me to sit next to her, in between Conrad and her, which I did.

"I'm so sorry, this was not how I wanted you guys to find out." Susannah said sadly.

"Susannah, you're gonna do the trial, right?" I asked through muffled sobs.

She hesitated as she looked at me, "Uh... No, love, I'm not."

My heart broke at her words as I stared at her for a moment longer. What did she mean? Was she insane? She needed to fight. For me. For the boys. For Laurel. For all of us.

Conrad seemed to break down slowly as well from besides me.

"Chances are very slight. Well, nonexistent really. And I can't just go through that again."

"But you have to try." I said, a tear escaping from my eye.

Susannah sighed, "I want to be me when I go." She stared at me with a soft smile, "Does that make sense?"

"No, no. None of this makes any sense." Jeremiah said.

"I know, I know, I'm not good at this." Susannah said through tears as she pushed aside some of Jeremiah's hair.

There was a bit of silence as we all were still processing what was happening. I didn't want to accept the fact that Susannah had cancer again. I just couldn't.

"If there's any chance that you can live you have to take it." Jeremiah pleaded. "Come on, Conrad. Tell her. Y/N?"

I just looked at Jeremiah and Conrad. I wanted to say something. I wanted to say everything.

"Why aren't you guys saying anything?" Jeremiah asked, his eyes red. "You have to try. You can't give up on us."

"Mom." Conrad's voice was hoarse and as he lifted his head up, the tears poured from his eyes. "Can't you just try? For us, Mom. I need you."

Susannah grabbed the boys as she hugged them tight. I didn't want Susannah to go

Our crying had subsided and Laurel began making food for us. Which meant this situation was horrible. Her cooking wasn't the best, especially for dinner. She had certain dishes she would make that tasted good though.

So here we all sat at the dinner table. Belly and I in more comfortable clothes because Susannah didn't want us to spill on our dresses, eating Chinese takeout, pizza, spaghetti noodles, and ice cream. It wasn't the ideal dinner, but it tasted good. We all bonded, as if nothing had ever been said.

Life has endless amounts of possibilities, but with whatever comes next, I know I can always return back to this place.

The waves rushed up against the shore, and it was a bright and colorful early morning. Conrad sat beside me, he was happy.

"I can't believe she said yes." He said happily.

"You did it. You changed her mind."

"It wasn't just me. It was Jere who did it as well." Conrad said.

I looked out at the waves as I felt his gaze still on me. I didn't want to turn around whatsoever.

"Y/N, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for being so shitty all summer."

I turned to him, "No, I know it's weird, and you had been going through all of this. I just wished you know, that would you communicate half of these things with me."

"Believe me, I wanted to talk." He said.

There was tension between us as our gazes traveled.

"We should go in." I said, looking around at the sand beside us

"There's so many things I want to say to you."

I sighed getting up, "Don't do it."

"Why?" He asked as he got up as well.

"'Cause you need someone right now, Conrad. I don't know what I am going to do to help when you do need help. We haven't even talked about the other relationship. Conrad, it's just messy."

"I don't just need somebody." He stared down at me, "I need you. Y/N, when I was with you I was the happiest I could of possibly been. Everyone knows that."

"You shouldn't have to need me. That's what you did last time. You needed me to just fix you out of your hell hole. I want you to want me, Conrad. You have to want me like I want you or it doesn't fucking work."

"I do want you. I've only wanted you."

There was silence between us as we just stared at one another.

His arm moved slowly up to the side of my cheek before he pulled me in, kissing. It felt alive, not needed, not desperate. It felt natural.

We kissed again, with much more passion this time. Everything was falling into places. Everything was just how it had to be.

Everything happens for a reason. Whether it's failing a test, or it's a stupid break up. The butterfly effect makes it come back around. Anything can happen, anything and everything. Just if you let it.

Not everyone goes out of style.

A/N : hi! after i know like a month of not being active, here is the last chapter of the series! i made sure to finish it before s2. thank you so much for the support recently.

i'm also so sorry if this isn't as good as the other chapters 😭

Also!!! if you have any prompts or ideas, feel free to message me and i'll write as soon as i can! thanks!

#conrad fisher x reader #jeremiah fisher #conrad x y/n #the summer i turned pretty #tsitp #belly conklin #conrad fisher #steven conklin #tsitp season 1 #summer

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog 36 | 11.26.23 ๋࣭⭑

:rises from the dead: I'm.... BAAAAACK!!!!!!

Long time, no talk (kinda) everyone! I hope you've been happy, healthy, and well since we last saw each other and that the wind-down for the year is being kind to you all <3

We have a lot to catch up on, so let's do just that ^^ This is.... so long. I'm really sorry in advance tbh---I thought I hadn't done much because break, but there's quite a bit to show.

It's been a while since a formal update on the routes, so I'll start by telling you all where they officially stand. Before I do, it might be helpful to tell you all how I define percentage completion in my head. Basically, when I finish the draft of a route, I consider it 70% complete. This means I could ship it as is. I wouldn't be happy with the product, but it's playable and makes enough sense---just not the best quality.

When Wudgey finishes their edits, a route is 80%-85% complete, meaning I could ship it as is. I think it'd be pretty good actually and players would be happy. Beyond this point, I am just making fine tuning edits to incorporate more player interaction, polishing the flow of things, etc.

After that, there's basically only Elm and Vi's edits left. When Elm finishes, a route is 95% complete. Again, I think at this point, it's good. Like edits from this point onwards are purely for polishing purpose. After Vi, it's 98% complete. Then the last review comes back to Elm and I for it to be 100% complete. Right now, this is where the routes stand:

Kayn: 98% Complete

Fenir: 95% Complete

Druk: 80% Complete

Etza: 60% Complete (Still working on their draft!)

Do Not ask me about Kuna'a or Aisa LFMASOEIDJ

So most of the routes are actually looking pretty good! They're just getting bounced around to different editors at this point, but the changes made for most of them are basically small. Fenir and Kayn especially could be shipped as is in my eyes if I really wanted to.

Art recently has mostly been focused on commissions. Vui actually is almost done with ALL of the BGs for Alaris!! Isn't that crazy?? In about a year, he was able to create almost 25 BGs with daytime variations!!! He's a phenomenal artist, and I couldn't be happier to be working with him. It's also a bit bittersweet (and alarming??) to know that part of development is already close to ending! q.q

The most exciting art update I have is that we got the GUI assets finished and I've started coding them into the game!! AAAA!! These were the final updated assets I needed, and seeing the fully revamped demo come to life has been so.... Emotional HAHA! It's crazy to see how far Alaris has come from when I was first making it with my little fingies and throwing things together like paper mache. I'm incredibly in love with how all the assets look together, and I couldn't be more grateful for the artists who helped me update the assets!

Updated History Log. Please say you like the dividers between entries---I'm most proud of those

I'm still making my way through coding everything, but here's a couple screen previews so you all can see how things now look in the game!!

First off, is the Dialogue/Choice Screen. You can see that we have a brand new dialogue box (She's Stunning) and Choice Screen! I'm hoping to add some sfx for the choices when you hover over them, and sfx for the new UI in general so there's more user feedback when you click and hover on things. But for now, enjoy this preview of the new dialogue box, choice screen, and the new personality indicators!

Updated Dialogue/Choice Screen: You can't see it as well in GIF format, but the BG also has particles floating around, so there's a tiny bit of animation going on in some of the BGs as well!!

Next, we have the Free Time Screen. I actually posted this on Twitter recently but I don't think I posted it on Tumblr! ISN'T SHE STUNNING... ESPECIALLY WITH THE NEW BGS.... I'm especially happy with the text animations that show up at the bottom when you hover over the different choices! I was inspired by a couple other devs (specifically GUI god, @siyo-koy, and renpy animation master @just-a-carrot) to start incorporating animation style elements into my GUI. And I really like how it adds a little ~something~ to the feel of everything ^^

Updated Free Time Screen: begging someone to say they like the text animation so I feel validated for finangling with it

Finally, for our last preview, we have the Save Screen! While it looks new obviously with the new assets, I also did a lot of backend coding revamping for how it actually functions since my coding experience is a bit better now compared to when I was first fighting for my life figuring out save/load screens. The biggest change for you all is that there are now chapter markers so save slots will tell you what chapter that save file is from! And instead of screenshots, it's now a custom icon inside that shows the chapter card. I think it'll make the save screen look more cohesive now and hopefully more intuitive as well!!

Updated Save Screen: With a sprinkle of updated Chapter Card screen preview

That was long. Are any of us surprised, considering I had two months' worth of devlogs piled inside of me, begging to burst from the seams?

Anyways. Only two miscellaneous updates. One is that all soundtracks have been completed for Alaris! Peter finished the last of them recently, and they're all beautiful!!! For ppl who love piano soundtracks... :holds hand in piano lover solidarity:

Other update is that I finally fixed that godforsaken sprite bug that was associated with the energy vision feature from the demo!!! FINALLY!!! AFTER.... SO LONG. Extremely huge thanks to @robobarbie for taking time out of their day to do that; everyone please say thank you!!!!! OGs know how long that bug was bothering me!!!! Robo also gave me a pretty new rain code, so I'm showing you how both look in the new demo so you can appreciate them with me!!

Last miscellaneous update is more on a.... logistical development level?? Basically, now that I have new GUI assets to code, that means I can get a beta build of the routes currently written out. I was feeling really overwhelmed by that idea because most of this year has been focused on writing and making assets, not really coding. Knowing that I can Code and get Playable Builds out to people was stressful because I have to divvy up my time a bit more.

After an extremely insightful talk with beloved and admired Esh of @steamberrystudio I decided I'm probably going to be shifting how development goes from here on out. Instead of focusing head low on getting as many words written for the remaining routes everyday, I'm going to be making smaller but consistent progress and spend the rest of my time coding so that I can have more of a continuous cycle of production going on (e.g., writing a bit, making playable builds, gathering playtester feedback, etc. instead of doing each stage in blocked, sequential order).

I'm mainly telling you all this because it means writing updates will probably seem slower from this point on, but I think production overall will be more efficient because of it! This is also exciting news for playtesters and/or early access backers/patrons because it means you'll have playable content in the near future for content outside of just the demo :')

have u all heard of wudgeous of herotome. of course u have. they r all i talk about at this point

No market research because I've actually been addicted to BG3 LFMAOLSDJF. Actually, I'm taking some inspiration from it for the personality mechanic but eh.

On a more important note, @herotome demo is coming out December 2nd!!!! PLAY IT WITH ME. Wudgey is my editor, so you might think I'm biased but I'M NOT!!! I WAS A FAN OF HEROTOME BEFORE WUDGEY EVEN WORKED W ME!!! They have an exception eye for detail and player experience, and they are actually one of the devs that inspired me to even get into game development.

I just know the demo is going to blow everyone's socks off. OG Herotome prologue build fans know exactly what I'm talking about. Please mark December 2nd on your calendar---you will not regret it.

This was so unbelievably long, but I hope it's appreciated since there was no real devlog update for a hot minute. As always, Thank you all for your patience and continued support. With the year ending soon, I'm getting wrapped up in my feels in usual Crescence fashion. I am a Cancer so no one is surprised.

Next month will probably be more of an end-of-year devlog rather than the usual format. I know the devlogs of late have been all over the place, but once we get into the new year, it will be back to business as usual! Hope you all have a wonderful end to your year; I'll talk to you soon! <3

#alaris #devlog #bitches don't stop talking #aka me i'm bitches #also why did i shout out so many devs in this devlog #usually its like only one #that one being seyl of ravenstar games who i share a codependent relationship with #SODIFJ

[halfmoth-halfman]

may i interest you in some more fic recs????😉

the second half of my may fic rec list!! if you wanna see more more of my fic recs and favs, i have em all on my recs blog, here!! please note the navi page is still under construction!!

and of course, if you have any fic recs of your own, feel free to send em my way here or on my sideblog - i love finding new fics and writers!! 💜

may fic recs pt. 1

John Price

missed you - @thanksbutno98

✧ everything i wanted and more omg this is the treatment price deserves tbh. man deserves to relax and be pampered like a princess. such a cute fic that filled my need for fluff perfectly!!

bloodstained honesty || part two - @a-world-with0ut-dr34ms

✧ had me on the edge of my damn seat good lord. saw this line “Price?” and had to stop reading to do a lap around my living room, this fic had me stressing tf out but in the best way possible.

puppy love || five | six | seven | eight - @writeforfandoms

✧ price. puppies. perfection. am i sad to see this series come to an end? yes. but it was fantastic from start to finish and i know i will absolutely being coming back to read this again and again.

languish - @moriflos

✧ you ever read something once and then decide that once isn't enough and just spend an hour reading it over and over and over? that was me with this fic. idk how to describe the way you write, i was so drawn in, craving more. "But for now, he can only watch as his heart returns to him in ashes-" just uuuggghhh i love it.

rise and fall of tides - @queenquazar

✧ moon/moonlight is such a cute callsign, i was already hooked before i started reading. and when i got to the actual fic?? stunned. the entire dancing scene had me smiling and blushing, i love the way you write price and moon and their relationship

ode to a conversation stuck in your throat - @yeyinde

✧ i don't think there will ever come a day where i'm not left in absolute awe by one of lev's fics. everything is literal poetry and this is fic is no exception. i can't describe the way it makes me feel, like i've been given the christmas present i've been waiting all year for

sad girl - @guyfieriii

✧ new price fic from the writer who inspired me to start my mob!au???? say less. the way you write price is so just aslkdakljs the way you write in general is just alsdkjal. i literally do not have words for how much i love this

karma - @stormiwaves

✧ honeypot mission!!! we love to see it!!!! "The dress was karma, filthy karma that Price deserved." yes girl, get it!! jealous!price isn't something i see often, but i loved the way your wrote it here and that ending?? 👀🔥

untitled - @ghostaholics

✧ i👏🏼love👏🏼soulmate👏🏼au's👏🏼 and this has me going absolutely feral. the phantom pain for his injuries, the journal, the angst, the panic, that ending??? if there is ever a full version, please know that i will lose my mind, it will be an immediate fave just like this is.

choices and consequences - @ghostandsoap

✧ this one hurt real good. the talks about guilt, the choices you have to make, the job, all of it was done so well. this was so wonderful and heart-clenching, i loved every bit of it.

our remains - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i just- i mean- what else is there to say but

handsome stranger || part 8 - @alittleposhtoad

✧ not only did this fic make me hungry for soup, it made me kick my feet and twirl my hair. so much fluff and right up my ally, i binged this series and loved every single bit of it.

fair game - @guyfieriii

✧ got me blushing and sweating like a sinner in church and staring at my phone like

turn me to ashes - @guyfieriii

✧ when you said angsty little piece, i was not expecting to have my heart ripped out be left with a gaping void in my chest. i know i love a good angst fic but god damn if that didn't reach into the pits of my soul and destroy any feeling of happiness i had when i started reading. 10/10

price headcanons - @soapskneebrace

✧ the perfect piece of softness to make me feel better after the absolute heartbreak of the previous fic. the characterization is 100% on point here, one of the best i've read and so so so sweet.

price holding his first-born child - @daisies-daydreams

✧ big tough military men holding and being weak over little babies is my jam. it's the fluff, the sweetness, the soft domesticity of it all. the way he reads the book to her, i'm so weak for this fic.

a drink from her cup - @lunarvicar

✧ that post that inspired this has lived rent free in my mind for so long, and i was ecstatic to see you write something for it. i'm so down bad for this man and for your writing and the way you write him.

gem amra kheli - @guyfieriii

✧ i don't think i've ever talked about how much i adore the way you write banter, the little back and forths and comments between price and reader. everything just feels so real, so grounded and i'm completely obsessed

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

cult of vagabonds || ch. 3 - banshee bluethroat | ch. 4 - finch's frenzy - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i'm screaming. vomiting. scromiting profusely.

"I hate you."

"I know."

how dare you do this to me.

reveries of a lost lamb - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ what's it like to be able to be one of the best writers on earth? i seriously cannot comprehend the sheer amount of talent and ability you have at writing the most captivating and emotion evoking fics i've ever read.

A golden sunrise, tangled fingers; gentle lips.

“I think I love you.” 

i'm deceased.

aiaigasa (相合傘) - @captainpriceslover

✧ i read "Your part of London smelled like wet pennies that evening." and was instantly sold. the rest of the fic was so fantastic, the perfect dose of sweetness i needed, i love gaz and the way you write him so much!!

white flag - @writeforfandoms

✧ you cannot stress me out like this!! but also please continue to stress me out like this!! also the little nicknames for price and gaz had me laughing so hard, esp price.

it's over - @itsohh

✧ i really loved this, i don't think i've seen a lot of fics with gaz that really talk about what he's gone through and how missions affect him and this one does it incredibly well. serious, yet heartwarming, i adore it.

Multiple

dead disco || chapter 4 | chapter 5 | combat baby - @peachesofteal

✧ never before have a i read a series that has captured my attention so much that willingly skipped out on lunch to read it. i couldn't stop, i am in love with this fic, the writing, the characterization, everything about it. there isn't a single flaw to be found here.

how they wake you up in the mornings - @nia-writes

✧ this was so cute, and the addition of the different scenarios for how the characters would wake you made it all the more better. i was blushing, laughing, anxious, constantly giggling about FOAP. such a fun read!!

soulmate au - @itsohh

✧ i've said it once and i will say it again, i love soulmate!aus!! and god the angst in these just raked me over the coals. angst is something i love seeing in soulmate fics and this was so expertly done, my heart still hurts when i think about it

touching their cheek for the first time - @runicarbiter02

✧ absolute cuteness all around, like a cuteness overload. each one fit so well, but i'm gonna take a second to really talk about the love of my life, Roach, being included in this and how this has become an automatic fav just for that.

physical touch - @siilvan

✧ tbh i came to this for the gaz hcs but it was so good that i immediately read the rest and damn near screamed when i saw roach on there. so cute, and adorable, and absolutely perfect i loved every bit of this!!

kiss headcanons - @mangowafflesss

✧ such a cute idea that you did amazing on!! i love kisses and kiss fics and i think you absolutely nailed it here. honestly me and reader are the same because i too would just like to smooch the 141 boys all over.

getting into an accident and being hospitalised while the team is deployed - @daisies-daydreams

✧ slipping while getting out of the shower and needing to have your jaw hinged shut?? reader's just like me fr. this was very sweet, a lovely little dose of fluff with a sprinkle of angst

Simon "Ghost" Riley

silk series || silk ties - @uselsshuman

✧ i screamed. shrieked. went through a rollercoaster of emotions when this series updated. it was everything i wanted, more than everything i wanted, just so unbelievably beyond expectations!! and this:

“Stay with me for now then.”

stay with me forever wtf

no more || chapter 6 - hypnosis - @lethalchiralium

✧ we love a man who wants to apologize but man we gotta get ghost into therapy or st 😂seriously though, this was fun and the little back and forth about having a dad had me giggling

a bath - @blackssuunn

✧ i can't- i literally can't- this is too fluffy, too sweet, too perfect. i'm in awe of your writing "His eyes burn a little. Not a single drop of soap entered them." i'm speechless.

pomp - @bits-and-babs

✧ we stan anti-monarchy simon LOL so great and thos poor guards stuck at the doors. i went from blushing to cackling in like two seconds

tones - @blackssuunn

✧ soft lovely dovey simon is my favorite and you write him so incredibly well. the way this man is absolutely whipped for his partner, i adore it and i adore you for writing this

between dreams and sugar - @halcyone-of-the-sea

✧ i think i'm addicted to your angst, i keep happily going into these angst fics like i don't know i'm about to have my heart shredded into a million pieces. was there a happy ending here? yes. but it still hurt and i still loved it!!

feverish simon confesses to you - @angelltheninth

✧ this is such a cute trope that i don't read that much of, but i loved every bit of this! so much cuteness and let's be real, ghost is def the type of guy who would try and wait out an illness even if it was life-threatening 😂

footprints in the snow - @bittersw33t-lotus

✧ hello??? this was one of the sweetest things i've ever read??? i'm such a sucker for soft!simon esp when he's still a little shit and you've written that so perfectly

happiness series || you belong with me - @lethalchiralium

✧ i swear i'm totally normal about this series i'm not i totally don't immediately go feral every time it updates i do and i totally and definitely don't drop and ignore everything to reread the entire series with every new chapter i won't apologize

untitled - @lunarvicar

✧ the way you write simon and the way he shows love and how he cares has me so weak and how he teases is so aldkasjdkljk he's an asshole and i love him and i can never get enough of the way you write him

simon & rain little headcanons - @mvtthewmurdvck

✧ aaaahhhh simon and rain!!! i've missed these two and when i tell you i sprinted to read this!! i love the way your write their dynamic/relationship and just how real and fun it feels!! you're literally so good at writing ghost, i can't even deal with

sassy series || ch. 3 excerpt - @peachesofteal

✧ i have never wanted to read a full chapter so bad in my entire life. this excerpt is like a the most delicious little appetizers and i'm vibrating with excitement for the full meal!!

Valeria Garza

oh to be consumed by you - @sleepiexx

✧ i want to be consumed by valeria omg. i didn't even know vampire!val was something that i wanted-no, something that i needed-and this fic just came out of nowhere and hit me over the head in the best way possible.

#moth fic recs #fave fics #monthly fic recs

[hush-house-yard-sale]

The Hush House Card Catalogue

@baja-blasted @terephin (please ignore the crabs)

//So the software I'm using to keep track of my books, lore bits, etc. is called Seatable! It wasn't my first choice for this project, I'm more familiar with Airtable (I've used it professionally), but Airtable's free plan doesn't let you color-code :c

//Seatable is a website that looks a lot like google sheets, but instead of building a spreadsheet, you're building a database. I knew I wanted a database rather than a spreadsheet for my card catalogue because it became pretty apparent early on that a spreadsheet would mean a lot of duplicate entries and be a lot more work to maintain, as well as monumentally more work if I wanted to use it for reference.

//My database isn't finished, and so I'm not really comfortable making it public, but I'm happy to walk through some of the things that I like most about it, that made me choose to make a database rather than a spreadsheet.

//The main things that were really important to me was being able to have (and filter by) multiple items in the same column, having lots of cross-linking between the different sheets in the base, and having different views depending on what I was looking to reference.

//These are my different tables right now, and the way they work is that each table has the most detailed information on each item, e.g. Books has the most detail on books, and Skills has the most detail on skills. But I have columns in each table that allow me to crosslink between them.

//So for each book, I have listed the skill and memory they give, but instead of writing each out individually it links to the corresponding entry in skills/memories

//And then over in the memories tab it has all the detail on the aspects, which wisdoms it can be committed to...

//...and every book this skill can be found in and every item it can be used to craft. And those boxes can be expanded so they're easier to read as well!

//I can also group and sort things in different views. My default view for books, for example, splits them into two categories—whether I've read the book or not—and then sorts the books in each category alphabetically. But I also have one that groups them all by mystery and then sorts them from low to high, and I have another that groups them by topic. Each of these views also omits columns that aren't relevant to that particular view, for example, if I'm searching for books by mystery to give to a visitor, it's important to know the author because it's fun to give people books they themselves have written, but I don't really care about what memories that book gives, or when I'm trying to connect lore dots, it doesn't matter whether or not the book is cursed and I don't need to include books I haven't read yet (and thus don't have topic tags for). The rows on the topic one are also bigger so I can better read the blurbs.

//Well, the topic one actually groups by location, because when I group it by topic, it splits it into every combination of my topic tags, rather that giving me "here are all your books about the mansus" "here are all your books about Longs and Names" so I've stored them all in different places in the house depending on what books I think are relevant to one another.

//It's still in progress, I don't have everything written down yet, and I want more data for workbenches, and I want to try and see if there's a way for it to, say, auto-match skills/souls to workbenches for committing to the tree or crafting certain recipes. Also my color-coding is in shambles bc I'm waiting for a friend to recover from covid so that they can make me a greasemonkey script to make it a little less... corporate...

//But yeah! I like it a lot, and it works really well for my purposes. I highly recommend trying it out, and I'm happy to answer questions!

#Weather Factory #Book of Hours #Book of Hours Game #Cultist Simulator #Databases #ooc

[palacholic]

Storytime

So...it's time to introduce you to the wicked ways of my weirdness, to show you what it's like to be me, starting from the beginning...

Right now I'm in my first semester at Charles university, Prague. I've been living in the Czech republic for a few months now, I chose to move there right after finishing high school in my home country. I spent years preparing for my life abroad, studying the Czech language, taking care of all the formalities that are necessary to move to a new country, most of it by myself, getting to know the country that I consider my home and I wish to live in for the rest of my life.

Why all this? What made me take such an unexpected choice, leaving behind everything I knew, saying goodbye to my friends and family and to the life I could have had in my home country?

As you could probably guess from my username and the content on my blog, the answer is simple:

Jan Palach

Yes. That Jan Palach. The student who on 16th January 1969 set himself on fire in protest of the apathy and resignation of the Czechoslovak people following the soviet occupation of Czechoslovakia. A guy who's been dead for over half a century.

I first heard about him during a time when I was struggling a lot with my mental health. His story gave me strength and hope, what he did reminded me that there are things worth fighting for, things worth living for. I know this sounds kinda paradoxical given that he died because of what he did but that's the point - he was willing to sacrifice his life because he wanted others to live in a better world. He didn't kill himself because he hated life, on the contrary he loved it.

I found something that gave me joy, something I liked doing - reading and watching everything I could find about him. I spent a lot of time researching him and loved every new detail I found out. I started researching him out of admiration for his act and became more and more intrigued by his personality, his interests, the things he believed in...I look up to him a lot. It's incredible how much this helped me getting better mentally and eventually healing from the worst of my mental issues. I started looking forward to the future again, especially after visiting the Czech Republic for the first time.

I came to Prague to pay my respects to Jan Palach, to visit the places where he lived, to say thank you...and fell in love with the city and Czech culture overall more than I expected. I met amazing people and had some of the best experiences of my life, and soon after I realised that moving to Czechia was the right thing to do. That I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't go through with it, that if I stayed in my home country I would never be as happy as I am now.

Two years later I finally packed my things and went on my way...as soon as I left the airport on my arrival I felt that I'd made the right choice and everything that happened since then only confirmed that feeling. Even the bad things. It's not always easy but it feels right, in a way that's hard to convey by words. I sometimes think about how crazy this all is but I'm so glad it happened. I'm thankful for everything I have now, my friends, my hobbies, my new home. I love it every day more. And I don't care how weird it is that all this started because of a guy who died more than half a century ago. Was it only a coincidence that I watched the news that day when they talked about him? Is there more to it? Who knows? Is it relevant? I don't think so.

I hope he'd be happy to know that he saved me and how much he means to me. If I could, I'd thank him for everything.

I started this blog to share my feelings and my journey as an expat in Czechia. You'll find memes, stories of a foreigner's life in Prague and of course a lot of history-related things. I'm happy to answer all your questions and tell you more. I hope to make new friends and find people with whom I can talk about my interests. I'm glad to be here and I love you all, I'm proud of y'all for being here too <3

this post took me waaayyyy too long to write and maybe I'll edit it again sometime in the future, if you read all of this I'm genuinely impressed, please tell me your thoughts in the comments or send an ask if you want to :)

#storytime #my story #introduction post #pinned post #pinned intro #new tumblr #new to tumblr #expat in czechia #expatlife #special interest #jan palach #czechia #czech republic #česko #česká republika #czech #česky #učím se česky #český jazyk #czech language #czech history #čeština #hezky česky #personal #čumblr

[im-the-queen-of-stardust]

I'm about ten years too late but going absolutly feral about the fact that The Day of the Doctor happens between The Waters of Mars and The End of Time for Ten. Literally right after his whole Time Lord Victorious thing. He's in the middle of his mental breakdown.

And I knew that. Of course I did. But I've never watched The Day of the Doctor right after finishing the RTD era. I've just seen him at his worst. And this takes place right there?? Of course they can't really get into this in the episode. This is the 50th anniversary special and he's there for fan service and to be fun. Not the time and place to get back into some character development for Ten that was finished four years ago.

But just to have that in the back of my head! He's at an all time low in his life and then a future version shows up that seems to have moved on and be happy about forgetting all about the Time War. And the very man he was when he pressed the trigger, when he made the choice to loose it all, is standing right next to him. When he has just lost everything again although be it in a very different way!

And then! And then he decides to stand next to that past him! He puts his hand above his on the nice big red button. It's the same decision he's regretted all that time and now he is doing it again! How awful must that have felt?!

I know the whole point of the special is then that he saves Gallifrey and that is amazing and fantastic and he's forgetting about all of this anyway (except marrying Queen Elizabeth, that's still there). But part of me can't help but think maybe something of that whole experience stuck. Maybe some unconscious part of him remembered that future self. And he wasn't ready yet to move on like him. And maybe that's one of the reasons why he fought so hard against regenerating. Maybe that's why it was so hard for him to let go.

#yeah i know having thoughts ten years too late #we're all here dying to see what tenagain will be up to next month and im posting about this? #but I've litwrallt never connected the dots like this before #crazy what differences it makes if you watch that special when you've just seen thise last few episodes of ten #im sure im nkt thw first one to make this observation #gods i hope these are not common thoughts and i just pointed out the obvious #doctor who #the day of the doctor #ten #tenth doctor

[wisteria-blooms]

Hey! I just finished long hair and tattoos and it's be a lie if i say it wasn't one of the best fics I've ever read! I'm in love with the fic, the slow burn, the sibling banter with Draco (for first time ever Malfoy family was tolerable) the chemistry with twins and everything else!! Also I'm so bummed because I was expecting some steamy smut (not too late to add an smutty chapter don't you think?) But as I said I love it soooooo much and thank you for this amazing fic!! ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much!! I'm glad you enjoyed the family dynamics/banter. I love the idea of an uppity family having to deal with their daughter's upsetting choice of.... boyfriend. And having the twins as your supportive but devious best friends is the dream.

So, speaking of smut... I wrote the series before I got around to reading more and realized all/most romance books have an obligatory smut scene. I recently wrote strawberry wonderland (ii) from Bill's perspective. I think it was a horny outlet for me. But I think I can wedge something else in... so stay tuned.

I have two possible Bill Weasley smut fics in the works. I'm happy to share some excerpts but it's all unfinished, unedited drafts... so be warned. MINORS DNI.

The first one is called empty bars:

“Our department’s budget is going up.” You changed the topic, not wanting to know what anyone was saying about you. “You remember that Perce and I work together, right? As soon as we got wind of the good news, we went out for a glass of wine.”

Bill raised his eyebrows. “You got Percy out for wine?”

You did a little shimmy of victory. For once, there was a genuine smile on your face. “I know what makes him tick, I guess.”

When the bartender came back, noticing your drained glasses, Bill called for another round.“You’re quick,” he remarked. “I didn’t know someone like you could handle so much liquor.”

“You’ll have to try me,” you said with a smile. “I’m in the mood nowadays, I guess.”

Bill leaned back and took another sip. You watched his lips tight around the glass, and you wistfully wished they were around something else. Something more receptive.

“How ironic that Percy is the only one with any taste?” he laughed blithely, his tone suddenly sharp and biting. “Besides me, that is."

“What do you mean?” you asked, but you knew what he was talking about. The light overhead did no good in concealing the blush that was spreading over your cheeks.

You were intimidated by his gaze, so you focussed on the spare hand on the whiskey glass. The sheer size of his hand made the glass look like a child’s plaything. He could make the circumference of your bare waist amount to nothing if he wanted. You know what you wanted to.

“You know very well what I mean,” he stated, his right eye creasing into a half-wink as he stared over you. Then he set his whiskey glass down and leaned over to you and whispered, his lip just inches from the skin of your cheek, his voice butter, “Don’t play coy, (Y/N).”

“I am not,” you retorted weakly. His words drew some goosebumps. Was Bill Weasley flirting with you or were you so touch-deprived that you were wrongly assuming so? You turned around to face him, trying to stand by your words but you were unravelling quick. His eyes were so gorgeous. He was so close you could identify hazel specks near the rim of blue.

A delicious smirk unraveled on the eldest Weasley’s face. It looked so good that you wanted to fucking kiss it off him. “Are you the type of woman that likes things spelled out for you?”

“No,” you countered quietly. You were so nervous that you were chugging your liquor instead of cherishing it, but if it meant breaking free of any social constraints, you were happy to almost be done your second.

“Let me verbalize it, then. Look at yourself.” You couldn’t follow his demand. You were too busy looking at Bill still, indulging in his strong nose bridge down to his slightly chapped lips. You were burning, dying, to kiss them. “You’re young, accomplished, hard-working, successful, smart, and beautiful.”

You wondered if he’d performed Legilimens on you, because you’d said the same thing to yourself moments earlier. Now you were more than concerned if he could read your mind because his hand had travelled up the slit of your dress, gently caressing your bare thigh, and your mind was a mess of nervous neurons.

“I could say the same for you,” you complimented. ‘Weak,’ you chided yourself. You were going to lose Bill’s attention with your attempt at flirting and go home alone tonight.

“Unlike some of my brothers, I turned out pretty alright, didn’t I?”

“One is a genetic train-wreck,” you said too quickly. You were immediately remorseful for the comment. Fred was still Bill’s brother—family. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it that way.” You gestured to your bartender, seeking a third round.

“I know what you mean,” Bill assured, his words unapologetic. “The greatest thing he’d ever had this entire life fell right onto his lap and he fucked up because of his own immaturity.” He didn’t even mention Fred by name but there was a shared knowledge that it was him you were talking about.

 His gaze was intense, ocean blue eyes darkening like the storm outside. “Do you know why that is, (Y/N)?”

Your breathing became laboured. “No.”

“It’s the sad state of being a boy,” he explained. You shouldn’t have, but you inched closer, letting Bill’s hand, thinly veiled from public view by a few degrees, travel dangerously higher up your thigh. “Let me show you what it’s like to with a man.”

The second one is called 'paradise potions'. IT'S THE SEX POLLEN TROPE, DON'T JUDGE ME.

He was still ever so handsome, with his soft ginger locks that framed his sharp cheekbones. His blue eyes glinted in the morning sun. You peeked at his chiseled jaw and his--dare you say--kissable lips. His t-shirt barely hid the muscles in his arms. He might’ve been tall and predisposed to being lankier compared to Charlie, but you knew he worked out plenty. 

You were so busy being entranced by Bill that you’d lost track of time and space. It was the best daydream, sitting in front of him, surrounded by faint windchimes and the chirping birds outside to the window. You were imagining a domesticated life with him here when suddenly--

A large explosion jolted you and Percy. You yelped and ducked. The others were unfazed.

“What was that?” you asked, trying to settle your heart. 

“Fred! George!” Molly cried, walking over to the stairs with her spatula still in hand. “What have I told you about your experiments?"

“Sorry, mum,” George said, running down the stairs, a smidge of ash on his face. “That’s it for today, I promise.”

“I don’t want to hear this again, ever!” Molly shrieked. Then, she calmed down when she realized she was in front of guests. “Well, if that’s it, then help out a little bit, won’t you? We have to get going in less than an hour.”

“Sure thing,” George said with a smile. He ran over to the table and to the coffee pot. He gave it a jiggle, letting the remaining liquid slosh around. “Anyone need a top up of their coffee?”

“Mum made that pot, you can trust it,” Percy advised.

“Thank you,” you whispered back, and then looked up at George, “I wouldn’t mind a cup.”

George sauntered over and poured you a cup. “Coffee, Bill?” he asked. 

“That sounds good,” Bill responded.

“You’ll have to wait another ten minutes then,” George said with a frown. He tapped the empty glass container. “I’ve just run out. If only (Y/N) didn’t drink for two.”

“Quit it,” Percy warned with a low tone. 

“I’m sorry,” you said. You were about to offer Bill your cup when Percy held out a hand to stop you. 

“Keep it,” Percy countered as she shoved the white mug back to your side. “I wouldn’t trust anything they put out. I’m glad it’s you that took the last of what mum made.”

While Percy could be harsh on his siblings, you were grateful for his looking out for you. To be fair, you were also skittish around Fred and George. They weren’t as easy to read as other people. A friendly smile could mean something sinister. 

Then...

Bill raised his hips up to help you bring the last bit of his undergarments down. You closed your eyes when you felt something whip out in front of your face. 

Well, Bill was clearly very well-endowed. You had nothing but anatomical pictures and the circumference of your wrist to compare him to, but even you knew he was bigger than average. Not only was his cock hefty and veiny, but his balls were very present. 

“I reckon I was cursed or hexed by someone,” he concluded. “It’s not like me to be so….”

He gestured to his raging erection. “Can you… do you mind?” He attempted to lift his hands, but they gravitated down to the bed. “I’ve tried but it’s made it worse, and now I can’t even manage to move my arm.”

“I’ve never, erm,” you started. A rush of heat kissed your cheeks. You didn’t want to admit to Bill that Fred was right and you were a virgin. You reckoned he would’ve found it uncool. “I’ve never done this with anyone.”

He chuckled suavely. “I figured.”

You wanted to shrivel up and die. 

“But it’s fine,” he said quickly, knowing he’d offended you slightly. “You don’t need to have done it to know how to do it. I’ll guide you."

“Grip your hand firmly down here.” You obliged, holding him at the base. For an usually flaccid body part, Bill was very, very hard and warm. All the blood in his body must’ve concentrated into one area. You were grateful when your thumb overlapped your other fingers, because, well, he was quite big and you weren’t sure he was going to fit in your hand. 

“Move up and down,” he said. When you started shifting your hand from the base to the tip, he let out a low groan. “Yeah, just like that.” Precum touched the skin of your hand as you moved faster and covered more ground. 

You kissed the red and leaking tip. Bill let out an audible gasp that was swallowed by a moan. He was not expecting you to be so brazen. 

“How does that feel?” you asked, batting your eyelashes at him.

“Good.”

You licked the precum--salty, you noted--off his slit. You enveloped your mouth around his tip and focused there. 

“Fuck, (Y/N)!”

His hands were fully entangled in your hair as he guided you up and down. Tears welled up in your eyes when his cock hit the back of your mouth. Your cries were muffled. You shouldn’t be enjoying being used so much, but you loved it, especially when Bill held you in place and began thrusting into your mouth.

Yeah, these are all drafts. I hope to get them up soon!!

#bill weasley x reader #bill weasley imagine #bill weasley smut #bill weasley x you #harry potter smut

[xpao-bearx]

Alrighty, my fellow Astarion fangbangers!! I've got a 🔥SPAHCY🔥 oneshot idea~

This is an idea that's been a parasite in my teeny brain for a while now and at first, I didn't wanna share it cuz I wanted it to be a surprise for when I actually write and post it. But to those who follow me, y'all know I just LOVE to ramble so I couldn't keep it a secret anymore 😂

And sooo here it is: A smutty oneshot of Spawn Astarion x Fem!Reader x Ascended Astarion!

Now you might be thinking... How the HELLS would a threesome with Spawn Astarion and Ascended Astarion ever work??? O_o

Well, lemme ramble some more! 😆

AHEM

Throughout your adventure, Astarion ascended and made his lover (you, dear reader ❤️) into his dark consort. After saving Baldur's Gate, you go to live with Astarion in his palace and start anew with your life of immortality.

At first, everything was going well. Astarion relished in the power he's craved so much and you stood by his side as his most prized treasure. And yet... There was a suffocating emptiness in your heart.

You were happy. Or...you should be. You were going to spend a wonderful eternity with your lover and you only gave Astarion what he's always wanted...right?

But as time passes, Astarion changes more and more. You still loved him, you will never stop loving him, but you couldn't deny that his dominance and possessive nature over you...unsettled you a bit.

Anyhoe, long story short, while you are just wandering around the palace one night and rethinking all your life choices that led you to this very moment, some ✨️magic✨️ happens and Astarion appeared.

Only...this was Astarion from the past. Before he ascended.

This story is still a work in progress so forgive me that this is all a mess, but basically this other Astarion is spawn Astarion! Spawn Astarion comes from another dimension where he never ascended. In that dimension, Baldur's Gate has also been saved but at the cost of spawn Astarion's lover's life--your life.

Astarion couldn't handle the tragic loss of his one true love so he became obsessed in finding something--anything--to be with you again, even at the cost of his soul. I'm still working out the details, but Astarion ended up finding something which made him transport to where you are now!

You are obviously baffled by spawn Astarion and can't quite believe it, but he's just so fucking happy to see you--to be with you--again. And maybe...just maybe...

You wanted to be with him, too.

But of course... There's ascended Astarion.

Beautiful, foolish treasure... Did you really think you could ever forsake your master?

Expect quiiite a bit of angst with this oneshot but, OF COURSE, some real nasty smut too! 😉 I plan to hopefully write and post this story after I finish the game and have experienced both spawn and ascended routes!

Also, I REALLY hope this doesn't cause any discourse! I, personally, prefer spawn Astarion but I also ADORE ascended Astarion (✨️nothing✨️ will stop me from simping for this vamp dork)! I know everyone has their own thoughts and opinions for both and which one is "better", but for me I just live and let live! Let everyone be happy with their own preferences, please 🥰

And I hope no one steals this idea of mine! Please correct me if I'm wrong, but I haven't seen anyone else have an Astarion fic like this so I would assume I would be the first to have this specific idea. If you were inspired by the premise and wanna write something similar, PLEASE credit me for the inspo but also tell me if you post it cuz I would absolutely read the SHIT out of it!! \(^o^)/ But yeah, just please don't copy the WHOLE thing cuz, like I said, I do plan on eventually writing this fic myself!

And hey, if ya wanna be tagged for when I post this fic, please don't hesitate to tell me! 💕

#Baldur's Gate 3 #BG3 #Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfiction #BG3 Fanfiction #Baldur's Gate 3 Fanfic #BG3 Fanfic #Baldur's Gate 3 Fic #BG3 Fic #Astarion #Astarion x Reader #Reader x Astarion

[0theghost0]

Update

Hi hi, everyone. I know it's been a long time. I was actually typing up a message to @prince-infidel because of an ask they sent me, but I realized I should probably just make it a post. So I guess this is an update. Okay, short version: The end of 2022 and the entirety of 2023 was horrible for me. A lot happened, and 97% of it was not good. Now to get into a bit more specifics. While all of this crazy stuff was going on, a friend of mine really needed help with their company. They were just going through a ton, and I jumped on to help them while they were trying to figure that stuff out. Turns out that I was a good fit. So I've completely changed careers currently. Also, with all of this crazy shit going on, I stopped drawing entirely. That's a first for me. No matter what was going on, I always had my drawing as an outlet. It was very new for it to be gone. I actually only recently started drawing again, and when I say recently, I mean last week. I haven't even finished anything and my progress comes in very small doses. Baby steps I guess. Now the stuff you're actually probably interested in. Even though I haven't been drawing, I have been making art. - I've been putting crazy amounts of effort into making costumes. It's really fun and I've level grinded a lot with sewing and fabrics. I made an entire Victorian costume on my own. It was cool. - I weirdly started working on dolls? I have no idea why I started doing that. I hate dolls. - I started making weird... sculptures? I don't know how to describe them. It's basically recycling and turning materials into monstrosities for my own entertainment and to scare random people. - And I've delved more into my hobby of SFX makeup.

I have been being creative, it's just a bunch of stuff that no one cares about. It makes me happy and that's all there is to it really. Which brings me to the long version, because I have no idea how to continue this without going into details. I can only assume all of this answers anyone questions who might be curious. Time to get a bit more specific.

I don't know how to start this, so I guess I'll just say that my interests have completely moved. I think everything above should make that clear, but when I'm referring to interests, I mostly mean the things that inspire me. This is actually typical for me. I love fiction and am a fan of many, many things. I get really involved in a fandom for a while, get bored, then move on to one that is piquing my interest more. Eventually I come back and the cycle starts over. I always keep up with all of my interests simultaneously, it's just that one usually dominates the others. The thing is, comic books have completely lost my interest currently.

There's a lot of factors. I'm not going to repeat stuff that you've probably heard a thousand times from other people about the current state of the comic industry, comic writing, the movies, the video games blah blah blah whine whine whine. I think one of the big things though is that this last year has really changed me. I'm just a really different person now. I'm not that happy-go-lucky nerd I was before. I think my major concern is that I honestly think it would be fucked up if I continued to post here.

People started following me here because of my art and my posts. It would be fucked up to switch that around on them and just show back up as this different person with different art, different interests etc. I've thought about making an update on here a bunch of different times, but I never did because of stuff like that. However, in a way, it's been really nice. It's been nice to just do whatever stupid art project comes into my head, and to do it just for the sake of making something. I think dropping drawing all together (not by choice, mind you) turned out to be good for me. I think I got in tune with a creative side of myself that I'd lost a long time ago. It's been pretty neat.

I've thought about just leaving this tumblr to history. I honestly think that I should. It can be a weird time capsule of this specific fandom in this specific time period. I've thought about just making different social media accounts so that people who want to see any of my new, awful creations could if they wanted to. I don't know though. I'm just all up in the air all the time now lol

I get this isn't an "all questions answered" kinda post. Not that most people needed them, but I know that there are people who just liked my art in general and I knew they must be curious. So I hope I at least answered some stuff and gave some clarity.

#updates #text post #I've read through this a few times and I think it makes sense #I'm currently very sick #I hope this isn't just flat out nonsense #I also hope it isn't needlessly dramatic sounding #whenever I try to type this stuff out it always comes across so intense lol #I'm also going to be a dick and post this in the middle of the night #if I leave it until morning I'll forget it exists

[unlimitedgolden]

leorina trans headcanon

OK SO. When I was replaying Klonoa 2 I took notice of when the High Priestess was talking about Leorina (The cutscene after finishing Noxious La-Lakoosha). Now maybe I'm reaching a little but the way they talk about Leorina to me mirrored a bit of a trans experience.

First, when the High Priestess says "she calls herself Leorina" and how they knew her by "Leo" (Which is a traditionally masculine name), then Lolo following with "Priest... ess?" not "Priestess" as if she was also pondering the name. It made me think that maybe Leorina is trans.

Then afterwards I know this is how Leorina is impatient with the temple and religion and the Gods, but I also feel it still mirrors a trans experience. How long must she wait before she is recognised? How often has she been told she can't hurry these things? Sure this is literally about religion, but being trans myself I've heard similar reasonings with my transition. Because you can't always transition fast, hell I've been waiting since 2018 to begin any sort of medical transition and I know other trans people who are experiencing the same agonising wait to be recognised.

I don't blame Leorina for dipping and going "I'll do it myself". And maybe it's a silly coincidence that there's some kind of trans allegory here, but I've held onto it for a long time. I don't think I've ever spoken about it either? Until now!! BUT IT DOESN'T STOP THERE.

I mean think here of when you actually beat her??? Like she's beating herself up so bad. And then I thought: "man. she really caved into the sorrow she felt about not being able to become a priestess", like how a lot of trans people cave into the sorrow that dysphoria brings. She turned to sorrow, let it consume her, till it eventually hurt her. It just mirrors the experience further with the depression that dysphoria can bring. It's why I'm glad at the end she realises how much she's really cared for despite everything, that she has made some bad choices but she's still Leorina. She gets the happy ending she deserves.

But yeah, I think Leorina is trans. Transgender sky pirate.

#goldenposting #ask box #Klonoa #Leorina #I've had this bottled up in my brain with red strings connecting everything #me when metaphors and allegories are in my favourite media #(even if it's probably not intentional) #i could probably say more but my dinner is nearly ready

[dudeyuri]

I'm having thoughts and feelings about bad buddy must be a day that ends in y. But like, last episode tomorrow, kind of verklempt, need to word vomit

My first watch of Bad Buddy kind of smacked me upside the head. I know this is not a unique experience. I was left reeling for a bit. Watching Bad Buddy was the first thing I did in 2023 and I watched all 12 episodes in one sitting like a glutton and I stayed up til 1am even though I had to get up at 4am the next day (I haven't done stupid shit like that since college). Then I started my rewatch the next day. Then I put it aside for months because it was actually a physical ache in my chest when I thought about it. I just...never?? encountered such a fulfilling narrative that followed through on all its promises. Even with its deliberate deceptions and twists and uncertainties - I put my trust in Bad Buddy's narrative and was rewarded for doing so like never before.

It got me from the first episode - the first episode did what I think almost every first episode should do: tell you exactly what the story is going to be, without telling you exactly what the story is going to be. Fantastic writing, deliberate pacing, satisfying character development, pitch-perfect acting, all top-notch. It kept the energy up all throughout even as it got heavier, and stuck the landing in such a profound and bittersweet way. This was the first Thai BL I've ever watched, and probably the third BL I've ever watched period. One of my first impressions after finishing it even for the first time was that it was, maybe above all else, self aware.

My initial impression was also not a unique one: so far this is funny, charming, an exciting premise. And by episode 4 I was starting to get hit with it: this story is all those things and a knife in your gut, a lump in your throat. And it's queer, and it's tragic. Like, from the jump we see the two households both alike in dignity, we know what this is: it's Romeo and Juliet (or Kwan and Riam). We know how it ends. Pran knows how it ends. They teased us the whole show with Pran's decor, his doorknob hanger, like this show's version of a comedy and tragedy mask - what's it going to be? How's it going to end? Everyone watching knows how romcoms typically end. But everyone also knows how Romeo and Juliet ends.

In a move that can really only be described as revolutionary, Bad Buddy decided that queering the Romeo and Juliet narrative meant a happy ending. With caveats, but happy and alive and together. It was as simple as two characters finding their agency in a world trying to deprive them of it, seeing every path around them that led to tragedy, and instead trailblazing a new one that led to happiness. (everything that could be said about this has already been said; I look to this essay by @chickenstrangers often!! helped me make sense of pat gets shot lol. MK I hope you're not sick of people linking this left and right). It's a narrative choice that resounds.

I was personally struck by that specific pain Pat and Pran experience, the pain of having to lie to your parents and keep love a secret from them - is there a queer person out there who doesn't relate to that in a bone-achingly deep way? Regardless of your relationship with your family. Having to partition yourself like this is part of the queer experience. And it's exhausting because you just have to live like this. It's exhausting because the people who are supposed to love you have made a liar of you instead. You can be surviving and thriving and happy, but your parents will still ask your siblings about their love lives and ask you about the weather (too real??? oops). There's a hint at a possible thawing in the final episode that gives hope, but Bad Buddy does not magically make the parents realize they were wrong and accept their sons' love - I mean, that just doesn't happen. It would have made for a disingenuous ending, it would have been a disservice to the narrative and to the viewers and to the metaphor. If you're lucky enough to have parents who would, you're lucky. It's a sad truth. "We can't change the world...but the world can't change us either."

At first glance, Bad Buddy plays in the "BL bubble". Upon a slightly closer examination Bad Buddy says there can never really be a bubble--stories aren't crafted in a vacuum, the dominant ideology that is homophobia traumatizes and endangers and oppresses all who do not align with it, still there are happy endings for us here. We find each other and carve them out ourselves. To say all this, and to not veer into heavy-handed "yeah okay we get it" territory is a feat honestly! Seldom accomplished in such a riveting and sexy way! How refreshing! Bad Buddy reminded me of reading a good poem - upon first read, a good poem is about "a thing," and it's evocative as is and you don't even have to read it again to enjoy it. But you can also consider it carefully and unearth "the other thing," a deeper meaning, the answer to "why was this written?". Bad Buddy trusts its viewers to get there. I mean I know it's really not much of a hidden message, but again, they are subtle with it, iykyk etc. BB doesn't hold our hand, but it takes our trust and respects it and doesn't break it (though it shakes the jar, like quite a bit, lol. All good stories should tbh).

I think a lot about the form, too. In a less capable storyteller's hands 12 one-hour-long episodes can drag (I'm thinking of some recent gmmtv BLs lol), or even not be enough (I feel like I personally see that in a lot of western shows whose fanbases are out here begging for second seasons to tie up loose ends). P'Aof (and co.) knew exactly what to do with 12 episodes. Has anyone in the entire history of TeleVision ever known what to do with 12 one-hour-long episodes as undeniably as P'Aof and co in making Bad Buddy??

I know I'm being a little dramatic, excessively lauding good writing like this. Like yeah stories should be good and thoughtful and make sense, of fucking course. But I just have to appreciate it in a genre, in a capitalist reality, where a story does not have to be profound or clever or full of love to be marketable. They truly did not have to go this hard. (Though the writer in me who now considers Aof a personal idol also thinks: yes of course they absolutely did have to go this hard in fact It Is The Only Way). I'm so so grateful for it for so many reasons!! And I didn't even breach the topic of how fun and sexy I think Pat and Pran are together. Didn't even mention the fingersucking, the scent kink, the kissies - all genuinely just as important to me as everything else. It's all in the making of a good story! I am taking notes through my tears and I am so thankful

#bad buddy #when you adapt the most adapted tragic love story ever and ‘knocked it out of the park’ is an understatement