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femme-malewife · 2 years

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hi i'm new to the heroines run the show fanbase! i see a lot of your posts and just wanted to ask why do you not like liphiyo? don't the guys like her? also am i allowed to follow you?

Hello! Welcome to the fandom, first off! Yes, following me is fine, if you're okay with the fact I don't ship the "main ot3" and ship aiyuu and nagihiyo instead (and consistently lovemail them)

As for why I don't like the ship and your other question...

Well, the short answer: I just don't vibe with it.

For the long answer...tagging this as "ship hate" even though it's not really hating? I'm just gonna explain why I don't like it, why I prefer aiyuu/nagihiyo, and ramble about spoilers for the movie/anime/novels.

If you really like the main ot3 and the other variations of them, consider yourself warned if you read ahead. These are my personal opinions and everyone is entitled to them.

Where do I start..?

Well, I guess first off, when I joined the fandom back in 2020, I was actually fine with the ship. Above neutral but below "I ship it". A lot of fans on twt and yt comments ruined it completely for me, though. A lot of rude people who scream at aiyuu fans when they're just in their own bubble. Some who scream "the novel has so much content for them, you look ridiculous!" and calling us fujoshis. (Granted, I know there are some aiyuu fans who are way too extreme and rude and harasss others and I want to clarify that this is NOT okay either!! However, I've seen much less of those than I have of people who ship Hiyori with any or both of the two LIPxLIP boys)

Another reason...is given the boys backstories, and how much they went through even before they met Hiyori, they had a strong bond. Their bonds only get stronger with new content that pops up.

Aizou doesn't want a girlfriend. He said so himself as well.

And given he has trauma with women thanks to his abusive and alcoholic mother, he's likely not going to change his mind just because a girl is sporty and not feminine. I can relate to that.

I have trauma with men. I'm 100% fine being friends with men, but I can never see myself dating a man.

As for Yujiro, he's a loner who has never had any friends until he met Aizou. I personally don't see him getting easily emotionally attached to anyone, especially in a romantic sense. I feel like he's kind of on the ace spectrum, somewhere? Demiromantic gay? Given that Yujiro is shown to be annoyed with girls but he's more comfortable being around guys. (And yeah, one can chalk that up to him being being an awkward teenage guy, but again, everyone's entitled to their own opinion)

With what they have gone through in the movie (which is finally english subbed. It's fan-subbed, so it's not on any official sites, but I personally use gogoanime since you don't have to really fight tooth and nail to make gross ads go away lol), as well as the Romeo novel, one can really see their bond and how they grow to care so much about each other.

Their stories are always about how they grow as a team. The hanipre events show us this as well. They're translated somewhere on tumblr. There's "If I go on a Trip with You", the Valentine's Event, the White Day Event, and the Halloween Event. And of course, the solo events. These events are all about Aizou and Yujiro and their bond, which only grows more and more.

What is LIPxLIP's story with Hiyori?

Getting used to having her around as their manager, and helping her dress up to become a heroine and, in the MV, confess to the "mystery boy" she likes. In the anime, it's to prove to her childhood friend that she can be pretty too, given Hiyori opened up about her insecurity with being feminine.

Now, the anime...

I'm not gonna lie here, you shouldn't really look to the anime for what's canon, and what's not canon. They took away a lot of what made these three characters stories charming. They also changed up a lot of the characters personalities and made everything so ridiculous and...it was just...straightbait. Even in episode 5, which I consider to be one of the better episodes (1 - 8 were good, 9 - 12 were not), the anime team made Yume Fanfare seem as though the song is made for Hiyori.

It wasn't. These two have a personal moment before their first concert with this song, and they dedicated the song to each other. (Also, Yamako's fanbox states that the song is for them, so...no idea what the team was thinking, tbh? Kinda lied to everyone, and if you're unfamiliar with the lore, then it can definitely be misleading).

I already made a post about my grievances with Herotaru here though, so if you want to read why you shouldn't accept that as canon, go read that. I'll just end up repeating myself too much and making this longer than it already is.

I got off track.

Anyway, so...to me, while forcing the boys- after everything they go through together and the suspiciously homoerotic things they do (like, canonically applying kiss marks to each other...)

...into a relationship with a girl, in which their story arc mostly revolves around helping her get a boyfriend...I just can't see it. It feels very comphet to me. (And, given I myself have trauma with being comphet for most of my life, I have very strong feelings about that)

(Also, twice, they have something about keeping a secret..? I dunno, feels a bit too sus for me. Here's to hoping it's not just queerbait lol. The second image is for Samishigariya which, you should 100% check out. It literally compares Aiyuu with Shibarisa. They're both singing of love to their most important person...which is another reason why I don't think that Aizou or Yujiro like Hiyori. If they did, why haven't they gotten an MV yet? Sure, Nonfantasy exists, but that MV was just a dream on Hiyori's part, and dreams don't really have to mean anything. She fell asleep watching the Nonfan MV, so of course she's gonna end up thinking about it. I have a whole rant about that from a psychologist perspective but that's not for here...anyway, the MV here proves that the two care more about each other than anyone else- otherwise, other people would have been shown as well)

Anyway, onto Hiyori...

Now, I love Hiyori. I really do- she's one of my favorite fem characters of honeyworks. She's adorable and relatable. That being said, I personally think she can do better than Aizou or Yujiro (who have a LOT of trauma with them anyway and I don't think she can handle all of their baggage, and the fact that she doesn't know their trauma, but they know the extent of each other's trauma...anyway, I digress).

She's always thinking about how cruel the two were, in the novels. She's dreaded being in their presence multiple times and they've made her genuinely cry. She has also thought "they make me feel so stupid" (which...idk about anyone else, but if someone makes me feel stupid, even if it's a super hot woman, I really don't think I'd want to be in a relationship with them...but eh, whatever you're into?)

Are they good friends? Yes! And I LOVE their friendship! I think their friendship is super important!

Do I think there's any romantic undertones? ...No.

A problem I have with Hiyori with the guys is...they just...don't work out that way, imho. I mean, when Hiyori went back to her usual self after her makeover, the guys were upset and confused.

To which, she replied that she shouldn't be wearing dresses when she runs. (She's finally accepted herself and knows she can be a heroine)

One can say that the two were just curious, but...no, they're actually pretty shallow with women. In the MV, they made her dress up because in their eyes, no one will accept her love if she's not conventionally attractive.

I dunno, that kind of thing never sat right with me. It only amplified in the anime seeing them mock her about being a heroine when she was finally happy with herself. Sure, they were only teasing her, or that they genuinely wanted to help her, but the way it went about it just felt off to me.

For Hiyori, being paired with a guy who would want her to dress up more and be more like the typical woman, vs someone who loves her no matter what, it doesn't feel like it's right for her either.

For the boys being paired with her, to me, it feels like comphet.

For Hiyori, being paired with them, it feels less validating that she's a heroine no matter what she looks like.

I also made a post about why I think nagihiyo works, which you can read here, if you want to read about why I personally think Nagisa is the best fit for Hiyori.

AGAIN, THIS IS ALL MY OWN PERSONAL OPINION. IF YOU HAVE OTHER TAKES OR DISAGREE, THAT IS FINE!!!

I prefer to just stay in my own little aiyuu community bubble and I don't touch the liphiyo, yuuhiyo, or aihiyo bubbles. They have their own communities they can vibe in.

I do think, however, we can all co-exist. Let's bond about the other ships.

Let's talk about sarauru. Let's talk about shibarisa or kotahina. (or, if you really want a good OT3, I recommend kazufuuyui. It's not really a popular ship, since pretty much all of their content is in Fuuma's novel, but I personally like those three, and all variations of the ship! So I'm happy with kazufuuma, fuuyui, and kazuyui...but this post isn't about that! I'll happily accept asks about why I love it though!)

So, yeah. Those are why I don't ship liphiyo, or the other few variations of the ship. Of course, there's another very personal reason, but I'm not comfortable disclosing that in public, and I don't trust just anyone with the information.

I love their friendship to pieces, but I just can't see them in a romantic light.

Especially when a lot of their interactions remind me of me and my older brother and his friends??? Like- a lot of the Yujiro and Hiyori interactions in the novel just reminded me of me and my brother, because we've done a lot of similar things. And in the anime, those actions were transferred to Aizou and Hiyori. So, seeing them as a couple makes me think of me and my brother which ...is very gross to think about lmaooo.

Anyway, sorry that this is so long. If you still ship them, good for you. Like I said earlier, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. This ^ is just mine. And we can still talk about other ships we do agree with. It's not hard to just avoid talking about the ships we disagree with.

I like looking at couples and their impact on each other. If something is canon and healthy, then I'll ship it. If it's not canon but healthier than the canon ships, then I'll ship it and not whatever is canon. I just prefer to analyze the relationship before making a decision.

...Being queer myself also gives big bonus points. I get stupid happy seeing healthy same sex couples.

Anyway, that's all, for reals.

#anoask #longpost #heroine tarumono/heroines run the show #lipxlip #honeyworks #confession executive committee #im a bit hesitant posting this bc i dont want people to come after me #but also #i DID put a ''keep reading'' button on #so if anyone who disagrees with me read it...#well. you read it on your own volition #not to sound harsh but.#i just am very uncomfortable with the ships #and im not going to apologize for how i feel

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rat-cigars · 2 years

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Damn Bitch You live like this?

masterlist

(a/n: hey y'all, just wanted to clarify that ed was not drugged. He's just a big lightweight. Gonna be some more into into mc and i hope you enjoy this chapter <3 as always be mindful of TWs and take care of yourself. 18+ pls ngl, probably my worst chapter so far)

(TW: drinking, partying, paparazzi baby ,)

Wc: 1308

Possible Spoilers in this chapter

Afab!Reader (she/her) pronouns

Chapter 11: A late visit

*As you made your way to the dancefloor you could feel Edwards eyes on you. You loved the way his green eyes trailed after your body. Swinging your hips, you entered the edge of the crowd and found a small group of some girls, who invited you to dance with them.

Feeling the eyes still burning into the back of your head you decided to oblige and started to move your body for him. It wasn't hard to get Edward excited, plus you loved the idea of him staring you down.

“Hey! Aren't you that host from the Redroom?” One of the women called, catching your attention. You looked at the woman and noticed her silky platinum long hair and the sash that was draped around her chest to show she was a bride to be. You hadn't even seen the other girls who wore matching pink pins. “Yeah! And congratulations!” you laughed feeling put in the spotlight.

“ That's my date over there, ain't he a peach.” you slurred with a smug laugh. The ladies turned their attention to the bar calling him a gentleman in a teasing tone. You guys couldn't help but giggle amongst yourselves.

That's when the attention turned back to the bride. The woman nodded and lifted her drink up a little.

“Last night of freedom!” she declared and the group busted out in laughter with you joining in once more. You all had regained a little composure and that's when the girl beside you leaned in,

“We were hoping to get to meet Bruce Wayne.” She said in a giggle and you nodded, feeling a little blind sided. “Tonight..?”

They were so wasted, you could show them Ron and they'd probably believe it. But still, how did they know he had been there? Like she had read you mind the girl leaned back in again and spoke

“Put it under Mary Lewan.”

You felt a cold spike rise in your stomach, that was the name used for top paying clients at the lounge. “Of course, I can get it set up later.” You chuckled nervously. Talking over the smaller details with her, you hadn't noticed the figure walking towards you.

But while in the middle of confirming her number she suddenly gasped and brought her hand over her mouth. You moved your eyes to where hers were and your heart dropped. “B-Bruce?” You choked out, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights.

“y/n.” He offered back dryly. “What are..” You trailed off seeing the crowd had gone quieter in the wake of his arrival. He watched your brows furrow and you ran a hand down the side of your left arm. “Let's continue this elsewhere?” you mumbled out to him. You felt like you were sobering up with the embarrassment he had caused you.

He nodded and followed you towards the back exit, leaning in to be more quiet and hopefully draw less attention, you almost whispered, “Bruce, is this because I didn't text you back.”

You teased him . Bruce stared back at you, his deadpan face moved to a smile for a moment, snickering? It was weird to see him make the noise, breaking his serious facade. “Of course, can I not check in?” Bruised replied coolly. “You do this to every girl you walk home?” you sneered back. “ Show up while they're out on a date? Kinda stalkerish.” you joked, and then your eyes widened.

“Oh shit.” You muttered, before Bruce even had a chance to reply, you were scurrying back to the bar seeing Edward blinking his eyes awake, the side of his face a little crimson from laying on the countertop.

“Eddy?” You mused gently tapping him awake fully. “I-Im sorry..” he mumbled. “I don't usually drink this much..” he groaned, pinching his eyes shut and leaned into your arms.

You stared at his brown sandy locks laying messily across the top of his head. “You're back!” Edward squeaked into your shoulder, glasses falling at an angle when he gazed at you. “Did you have fun..” He mumbled with a goofy grin on his flushed face. “Of course I did.” You cooed, holding his arm gently as you stood.

“Are you ready to get out of here?” He questioned, holding you back as he struggled off the stool. “Yeah, let's blow this place.” you chuckled. Looking around for Bruce you saw he had left, probably after you'd ran over to see Edward again.

The two of you stumbled out and as you came out you were met with a few bright flashes, blind you for a moment. Instinctively raising your hands to cover your face from the flashes of white.

“Miss! What can you tell us about Bruce Wayne?!”

A distorted voice called, catching Edwards attention immediately. He stiffened up, seeming to sober up at the name.

You blinked slowly trying to compose yourself. You jerked your head when another voice called out, “Are you and Bruce Wayne in a relationship!?” The chaos that followed from the lounge to the hotel was a blurry memory. Edward had been silent after the first reporter's question, deep in thought his face twisted with a sour emotion.

You both ran back and then hid in the elevator shaft as Ron was there. He had seen the information on the News, your talk with Bruce must've been observed. There were photos of you and him, focusing especially on how you had leaned in to talk.

Tears swelled at your eyes, from embarrassment or guilt you didn't know. “Holy shit..” You cried softly seeing the headlines glaring off the screen. Ron had been the one to push you and Ed to the elevators before the cameras had a chance to spot you again.

Once in the shaft, the only sounds were the soft pattering of tears falling down. This couldn't be happening..

Thats when Edward set his hand over yours again and gently squeezed it. Your heart fluttered at the contact.

“I'm sorry Bruce showed up.” You groaned, the tears slowly stopped, just becoming frustrated now. “I don't even know how he knew I was there.” You sighed, lifting your hand to your face. “It's okay,” He muttered. “It's not your fault the guys a creep.” He cackled and then looked at your lips. “I can't say I blame him either..” He whispered and planted his lips on yours for a blissful moment.

Pulling away you looked up to him with a look of adoration in your eyes. “Edward..” you turned away, bashful from his comment. “Thank you,” You snickered with him, holding his hand as you walked towards his room.

He seemed a little nervous, letting out a shaky breath when he opened the door. You walked to the door frame and looked into the room. It had been worse than before he moved in.

The walls are now adorned with tapestries and random clippings from the newspaper. You couldn't make out any of the articles that littered the walls, your eyes refusing to focus. Shifting your gaze to look at the actual furniture you caught the destroyed computer, a number of broken phones, and the shabby chair he had brought with him. You couldn't help but laugh at the sight.

Deciding to tease him, breaking up the tension from the elevator. You smirked and sneered out a slurred, “Damn Bitch you live like this?”

#riddler 2022 #the riddler x reader #dbyllt #paul dano riddler #rat rites #paul dano #the riddler x y/n #riddler x you #dano!riddler #batman 2022 #she said the thing

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forgesahead · 8 months

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Independent, selective Warrior of Light from FFXIV, as portrayed by Tao. They/them, 21. Spoilers and triggering themes will be present.

Other blogs: @levinstrike, @dragonlancer, @yuunos (art blog)

I. This blog is a mostly canon-compliant blog portraying the Meteor Survivor (default hyur) as the Warrior of Light. Given that he is a blank slate as a character, I use the material the game provides as a basis, and headcanons/creative liberties to fill in the gaps. More can be read about how I portray him in my carrd (tba) and my headcanon tag (tba). That said, please do not lift anything from this blog. The icon border I use is made from a border template by @/nightsrph, but all other graphics and writing on this blog is mine.

II. Expect this blog to have semi-low to low activity. I'm a full time university student in the fourth year of undergraduate study, and I like to raid on the side, which doesn't leave me with as much time to write. I'll get to replies when I can, but please don't badger me to reply faster. Poking after a week is fine, but nothing excessive please.

III. By nature of the game itself, this blog is going to have a lot of potentially triggering topics present. I'll tag everything to the best of my ability, and I ask that you a) be respectful to me if I've forgotten to tag something, as it usually isn't intentional and b) return the favor and tag your own potentially triggering posts. You are also welcome to come to me and ask me to tag something specific, I won't mind. I aim to curate my dashboard based on my comfort, and I highly encourage you to do the same.

IV. I follow based on interest for writing or the passion people have for their muses. I'm fine with following and writing with duplicates of my muse, and I am also open to writing with characters outside of the FFXIV franchise. (I may even implement verses so that Meteor can exist in other games/media as well!) My only hard limit is that I will not follow self-insert blogs, as they make me deeply uncomfortable, but everything else is fair game. If you're interested in writing with me on this blog, don't be afraid to hit me up for some plotting.

V. Shipping isn't a priority on this blog, but I am very much open to them. The only thing I ask is that you communicate; I'm not a mind reader, and in fact I am a bit of a blockhead who appreciates having things clarified for me. If you don't approach me about ships OOC, then I'll probably just assume any chemistry or flirting is one-sided. I don't have any plans for ship exclusivity in mind for this blog yet, but I don't mind exercising it for a particular character if I'm asked to.

VI. Please don't heavily format replies to me, as I tend to have a difficult time reading them.

VII. Discord is available on request, and I much prefer chatting and plotting there to doing it in Tumblr IMs, though I'm fine with either. I also play FFXIV of course! Feel free to ask if you ever want to hang out.

#pinned.

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izzyizumi · 4 years

Text

* do not reblog ( personal ) [re: Kizuna film early screenings]

regarding the Kizuna early Japan screening on February 4th !

[ and the other earlier screening on Feb 2nd for those in Japan who were lucky ]

* I will likely be following spoilers up to a point at least until Feb 2nd

* a.k.a if Toei decides to grace us with ONE more trailer or such before the official release (as trailers would be official content) I will likely try to cover / attempt to analyze anything new happening in it regardless

* I may also be following spoilers from either of the Kizuna tie-in novels (as they are official sources) or the short story films (provided we even get spoilers)** ** this may be unlikely we’d even get them in time ** however it’s unlikely I’d reblog much of these here before the official movie release too regardless ** IF I DO they’ll be tagged ‘ Kizuna spoilers ’, ‘ Kizuna novels spoilers ’, ‘ Kizuna short stories spoilers ’ etc. or things along those lines

* starting around Feb 2nd - Feb 4th I WILL likely disengage with the wider fandom more

* i.e. if a ton of anti-Adventure sentiment starts happening again you will not see me participating in this

* DO NOT DRAG ME into the above either [ DO. NOT ] ( especially if you are getting any spoilery info from secondhand sources i.e. double-translated means [such as when spoilers are translated from Japanese -> Chinese -> English], spoilers dropped via certain forums ** etc. etc. ) - I don’t mind “spoilers without context” to an extent but PLEASE understand you may be losing canonical contexts with such spoilers via these means ** I probably shouldn’t even have to say which “”certain forum”” I’m referring to here but like, yeah

* Basically while I don’t mind spoilers to an extent

I WILL BE AVOIDING EXTENSIVE SPOILERS-RELATED DISCUSSIONS UNTIL THE OFFICIAL US RELEASE / OR WHENEVER WE CAN OFFICIALLY SEE THE FILM OURSELVES PLEASE RESPECT THIS

Thank you.

( note: commenting respectfully/positively is ok )

#izzyizumi blog psa #izzyizumi text #izzyizumi blog rules #izzyizumi blog commentary #izzyizumi blog notice #kizuna #(YEAH BASICALLY THIS.........)#(I will probably follow spoilers up to a point)#(EVERYTHING will be tagged but yeah)#(I AM NOT going to post or comment on extensive spoilers should they show up on a ''''certain forum'''' until I actually see the film)#(for MYSELF)#(THIS WAS A HUGE PROBLEM DURING TRI RELEASES)#(PEOPLE just ... flipping out over spoilers that were dropped COMPLETELY without contexts)#(me ' yeah no I'm not doing that ')#(so like please actually respect what's stated here when it comes to me yeah .....)#(TBH I DON'T LIKE MAKING PSA POSTS LIKE THIS IF I DON'T HAVE TO BUT)#(YEAH JUST FLASHBACKS TO WHEN TRI SPOILERS DROPPED and then lies down with head in hands)#(basically Toei WHY THIS TOEI I'VE BEEN SUPPORTING YOU but yes . US release isn't until March 25th . sobs)#(*THAT SAID to clarify I don't mind if others DO follow the spoilers of course but like)#(yes please just understand you may not have all the contexts etc etc....)#(please understand if you see spoilers from that ''''certain forum'''' that they may be biased especially in)#(biased in overly negative ways etc.)#(this happened during Tri too and it was just . yeah)

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lovelycleon · 3 years

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So I decided to make an analysis about the last scene of Infinite Darkness

But before I start with the fun part, I just want to tell you that my history with “angst ships”

I had a bad experience with another ship, soul mates full of angst tropes and true love, beautiful... and a really bad ending because the showrunner fought with the actors (I wasted years watching and I regret it).

Anyway, after suffering that kind of pain, no other ships and angst scenes can hit me hard enough. I'm numb or just got used to it. You choose.

So maybe the scene of Leon and Claire's argument wasn't that impactful for me because of that. But for all the fans who felt hurt, I understand and it's okay to feel that way, because the scene was meant to hurt. The scene exists because of that. And your feelings are valid.

So let's get to the fun part.

spoiler alert, it's not that fun, it actually hurts 😅

The scene starts with Leon going to meet Claire at the gates of the White House.

I don't think anyone denies the fact that, whatever Leon is doing, he just wants to protect Claire. And he doesn't want her involved because of it.

But this dialogue makes this even more evident if we analyze how it begins.

Nothing in a show or movie is by accident. Everything is handpicked for one reason or another. The meaning is not always that deep, but there is still a meaning behind it all.

So when – of all the ways a conversation can be started – they decide to make Claire joke that she sneaked out of the hospital, Leon takes it seriously and she has to clarify that it's a joke, there's a reason:

Show that Leon is taking what happened to her too serious, and Claire not that much.

When Claire makes a comment about when he's going to stop treating her like a kid and he says probably never. There's a reason:

Show that Leon wants to protect her (or being overprotective) and Claire doesn't like it.

Of course, some might argue that this specific line is capcom trying to show that their feelings aren't romantic and sink the ship completely. And, ok, people are free to think that.

But if they really wanted to sink cleon forever, they shouldn't have done the scene of Leon saving Claire the way they did. They did it because they knew it would tease a certain part of the fans... They knew exactly what they were doing...

And there's simply no reason to tease a ship you want to sink.

So no, I don't think that's it...

For me the scene means the classic and simple: "stop being worried about me🙄" "noooo🗣️"

Another way to intensify Leon being overprotective is Claire's broken arm. A reminder that she was injured following his plan. Just as she was hurt the last time they saw each other in Harvardville.

And yes, I know Degeneration made Claire hurt to take her out of the action. It is undeniable. But somehow I don't think the same situation and reason applies to Infinite darkness.

Because Claire was already out of combat, following Leon's plan and showing no intention of doing anything different. It's not like she's going to attack the monster that is several platforms higher than where she is. She couldn't fly around and there were no guns where she was anyway.

So why hurt her to get her out of combat if the story itself has already done that?

Again, you are free to think differently. Capcom made Claire dirty, she was underestimated and they wasted her potential. I won't argue with that, I'm also on the team Claire deserves better.

I just don't think it fits this specific situation.

The injured arm is there and a awkward conversation about Leon being overprotective starts because of it. I think it makes sense.

So moving on.

Claire mentions the chip and Leon looks disappointed for a moment and says he thought they were going to dinner.

This is to indicate that he didn't come to see her with the intention of breaking their friendship. Leon just wanted to spend a good time with her and nothing more. Some place a little more normal, maybe?👀

But Claire wants the chip and tells Leon her plan. The same plan that Shen May was killed trying to convince her partner to follow. Is there a parallel here?

The only difference is that Jason broke her neck while Leon decided to break Claire's heart.

Okay now I could show more parallels between them, but I won't because this is already too long and I know maybe I'm reading too much into this. Resident Evil isn't that deep most of the time 😂

Anyway, Claire asked for the chip and Leon said no.

And that's the point, right.

The climax of the conversation and the turning point in their relationship.

Note that Leon took a few seconds to say he couldn't. That was the moment when he made his decision...

He went to meet her for dinner, remember? He didn't expect to have this conversation or make a decision like that. But he had to.

Now, I'm not from the US and I don't trust politicians in general, fiction or not. But I admit this sounds realistic.

Just imagine if the president makes a speech about peace and prosperity and whatever and the next day the media reveals that members of the government are involved in BOW and planning an attack on another country.

At the very least, it won't look good.

In the worst case, it will be a catastrophe 😂

So... I don't agree with Leon, but I understand why he chose this.

It's an important decision, however. And how long it takes him to say something and how he's quiet after saying it shows he knows what's on the line. Not just the security of the country and “peace”, but also his relationship with Claire.

And despite everything... He didn't lie to her.

It would be much easier for Leon to simply say "the chip was destroyed in the fight" when she asked. Claire would never know about it and probably never doubt him. And they would still be fine with each other and having dinner.

But he didn't lie. Why?

Because their relationship is not based on lies. And it's not based on betrayals.

And while it may be hard to believe right now and it hurts to think about it, this relationship is still based on truth and trust in each other. And now their relationship is being tested.

It's easy to trust someone you're on good terms. How hard it must be to trust someone who has let you down.

There is a lot of room for development here.

Obviously Claire felt hurt in this moment. Maybe even betrayed. Heartbroken. I think we all feel that same way.

But Leon played fair there. He said he had the chip, showed it to her, and then said he wouldn't give it to her.

He was honest with her. And this act also shows respect.

They are two people with different points of view and that truth hurts.

There is silence as they look at each other. She never asked his reasons and he obviously never told them. The exchange of glances is enough for them to understand what was happening.

When Claire says “you do things your way and I do mine” it's almost like “do you know what that means? ”

Then Leon nods and another moment of silence. The time they need to accept that the relationship is broken.

Now that's angst

Interesting choice of camera angle. Showing her broken arm as a visual reminder of why he was pushing her away like that.

Claire leaves, but looks back and says again that his outfit doesn't suit him.

What's interesting here is that the director has done a few interviews over the past few weeks and he always said that the suit is a representation of Leon's position in government.

Claire commenting that it doesn't suit him is basically the writers/producers/directors admitting that this position doesn't look good.

And while all the characters praising Leon for his success, Claire is the one who sees this reality and who he truly is out of the suit (position)

And that's good angst.

Claire walks away and Leon with a sad look watching her leave and he has to say to himself "I will stop this".

Could it be just one of his one-lines? Yes.

Could it be a way for him to remind himself why he's doing this, even if it means sacrificing his relationship with Claire?

It's already done, now he has to make it worth it.

Whatever happens after that is a mystery.

I don't think Claire believes that Leon is going to cover up the government's involvement in things (their discussion would be much more intense if that were the case), she probably thinks he's going to resolve it internally without taking anything public, which is precisely what she wants to do.

I also don't think Leon believes Claire is going to give up on the investigation, he probably thinks it's going to take some time to her to get real evidence and he has time to carry out his plans.

But this is capcom... They are masters of forgetting plot points. So who knows.

Angst is only good if it has a good closure. I hope they keep that in mind.

In any other tv show that used this kind of angst trope and drama I would be completely fine...

I would expect a sequel to this plot. The characters find each other unexpectedly, having to work together and acting awkwardly because they don't know how to stick around each other after the argument. Then the story would develop and they would gradually mend their relationship.

That's the trope.

So that's all I can hope for.

#cleon #this just got too long and l didn't write half of my thought 😅#I only watch the show once but I've seen this scene a thousand times #I'll probably have more to say after rewatching everything again #leon kennedy #claire redfield #resident evil infinite darkness #leon x claire #claire x leon

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riewritten · 2 years

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03 UNAVOIDABLE

DUSK IN THE BRIGHTEST | chapter directory

erwin smith/fem!reader, erwin smith/you | slow burn, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff & smut, mutual pining, pining erwin smith, canon AU, college/univ AU, professor erwin smith, commander erwin smith, non-linear narrative, manga spoilers

Trigger warning: canon-typical violence, graphic description, explicit sexual content, suicidal thoughts, mental health issues, trauma, implied/referenced sexual harassment, implied/referenced abuse, attempted murder, overdosing

Plot: It was always the nightmares, really. Entrapped with walls, human-eating giants, fighting through metal strings and swords – utterly violent, dreary, recurrent. But behind the blurry faces was a man with menacing blue eyes and vivid features; eventually appearing before you as your new reputable professor, Erwin Smith. Since then, the disaster had slipped beyond your subconscious. AO3

Historia, 4:30 pm.

I'm reluctant to tell you about this but the professor you claimed as the man in your dreams is named Erwin and he asked me a favor about you. He knew what happened to you that day so he would like you to come to his office once you feel better to go to school. Can you do it? Or do you need someone to go with you? I put the syllabus of his course in your bag. His contact details are there.

Me, 4:50pm.

are you serious? erwin? is his surname smith?

Historia, 4:51pm.

Yeah? Anyway, I can go with you if you want

Me, 4:51 pm.

he will make me kill myself

No way. There's no way you're seeing a man who looks the same and has the same name. Without any hesitation, you browsed your student portal and clicked the drop subject button. You followed it with an email that says you're dropping his course for personal reasons and you're waiting for him to approve it so you could process the dropping fee. It wasn't long until your phone rang and almost made you jump on your seat.

"Why," You said flatly upon answering.

"Are you serious? You scared me shitless! You think I'm a joke to you?" Historia rasped in sheer panic.

"I'm sorry."

"You're not."

"I am."

"Well then, kneel when you see me." She huffed. "But are you serious about dropping it?"

"Historia, I'm not joking when I say he'd make me kill myself." The other line paused for a while and so you realized you might've said something bad. "I mean, sorry, I just can't see him." Still no answer. You muttered an apology again.

"I'm just worried about what'll happen to you, that's all." She said defeatedly. That's when guilt crept through your spine. She's the only person who sensed something was wrong that day despite being meters apart. If she hadn't grabbed you outside that door you wouldn't be able to even shed a tear. You'd instantly faint on the spot.

However, as if she's been reading your mind, she clarified. "It's not your fault, okay."

You released a small laugh. "You won't even let me say it."

"I know you already feel bad about this and I'm not the one to put unnecessary pressure but you know we're not even supposed to be batchmates. You've been behind for years now." She remarked worriedly. "I know graduating high school with us back then hurt you a lot because that meant how far behind you were with people your age. I just don't want to see you cry like that again." Looking back on that memory, however, it wasn't the graduation that made you cry that hard. It was rather a lucid nightmare of your parents murdering someone in some basement, which was partly mentioned in your latest dream.

"Yeah, I'm sorry for making you worry a lot." You lamented.

"No, that's not what I'm trying to say. This is about you dropping that subject. You know we're in the same class, right? If it's heavy for you I could just help."

"Oh, that. I've had my most graphic nightmare so far and got really horrified with the thought of seeing that man again so I immediately sent him an email before you called."

"Oh god." She exhaled. "Have you apologized yet?"

"Why? We haven't even met formally—"

"Do you have any idea how much help he offered to me when you dropped unconscious that day?"

"What the fuck?"

"Yeah, what the fuck."

"How the fuck is it my fault? I can't even remember anything!"

"I ran back to the class out of panic because I can't carry you all the way to the clinic." She groaned out of embarrassment. "Well, it's not like I screamed to everyone that you died, I just called his attention and whispered that you're unconscious. He excused himself out of class and carried you all the way. I'm–” She didn't even get to finish because both of you started groaning at the same time.

You screamed on your pillow and dropped the call. You can't even fathom getting near him and the fact that he actually carried you himself appalled you. Thinking about him as a real moving figure that could actively interact with you isn't something you could take just yet. When the coast was clear and you confirmed your mother finally went out, you grabbed some water to calm yourself down. You almost jumped again when your phone dinged.

Erwin Smith, 5:20 pm.

Good afternoon. I hope you're doing well right now. Regarding the course dropping you have filed, I'm afraid we have to talk about this first personally. Come to my office once you're better.

You bit your lower lip hard until you tasted copper. Nails pierced the skin of your knuckles as you hurriedly came up with excuses he could buy.

Me, 5:23 pm.

I don't think I'll get well anytime soon. I am also concerned about the inconvenience this would cause you. Is it fine to just discuss it here?

Erwin Smith, 5:25 pm.

We can just settle this once you're okay and can come back to school. And to be honest, I am leaning towards making necessary considerations that would suit your situation rather than dropping you out of class. Hope you can think about it further before we talk about it.

The best consideration you could ever give to me is getting out of my sight. You muttered in fright. At this point, you feel like you don't have to force yourself to school anymore. Heck, you'd be willing to drop out altogether. Garnering another agenda, you prepared for your things and called Furlan to inform him you'd drop by. Before he could even ask how you are after the previous commotion, you hung up the call.

You swung the sliding door open and the cafe was empty, much to your confusion since it's almost evening already and this place is well known enough to be bombarded with people during rush hour. You walked to the counter and greeted Furlan.

"Levi said to close early because he's had tons of drinks with his friend lately and doesn't feel like working at all." Furlan explained as he cleaned the table counter. Levi's sleeping on the bar table with a fluffy blanket around him and so you nodded in relief. Until you discover why you're seeing him with contempt, you decided to just ignore him for your peace of mind.

"Quite unusual to see him like that." You dropped your coat and bag on the chair beside Furlan's and then got yourself some water.

"Yeah, the person he drank with is someone we haven't seen for quite a long time so he ended up having too much."

"Must be someone close. Family?"

"Not someone related but is close to everyone inside the house just like you. Actually he started working at our school recently. Have you heard the new professor at yo–" The glass you've been holding was shattered into pieces then. No way, no way, no way, no way, no way. Furlan stopped on his tracks wide-eyed, and Levi abruptly got up on his seat and dropped his futon, suddenly wide alert.

"What the fuck?" Annoyed Levi exclaimed.

"Are you okay?" Furlan quickly rushed to you as you crouched down to clean the mess.

With wide eyes, ragged breath, and surrounding slowed down, you picked the shards up and they clutched on you quick and tight— harder and deeper yet the pain wasn't coming. How could I even cut ties with him when the closest people I have outside my family know him? The question rang repeatedly. You snapped to reality again when Levi stood in front and called you out sternly. He quickly dropped the broom and dustpan he's been holding and examined you with curled-up eyebrows.

"Stand up." He deadpanned, which you followed immediately due to his annoyance.

"Your hand." You complied. Furlan rushed with bandages and disinfectants. Levi quickly did its wonders cleaning your wound.

"Sorry, I was just trying to pick it up."

"A wound this deep won't make me believe you really just thought of picking it up."

You also pondered why. "I wasn't able to feel it. Maybe because I’m not feeling well the past few days."

"Just tell me what Furlan said that made you so shocked."

It’s not like you could blatantly say his friend’s been pushing your buttons imaginatively. "It's no big deal. Just had a hard time earlier." Luckily for you, he only hummed in acknowledgment and didn't press further.

"So, about your friend, I have a new professor at the college right now and I'm wondering if–"

"Erwin Smith," You shot your eyes open and flinched. "Why? Rang a bell?" You shook your head no but your frown can't go unnoticed by him. "Done. Sit."

Furlan then gave you a hot tea. "How are you? Things must've been stressing you a lot. Is it really a good idea you came here?"

"Thank you. And yeah, it's okay. I just have to fix something at school."

"And that is?" He glanced at your wrapped-up wound.

"I'm going to Mr. Smith’s office to tell him I'm dropping his subject." You sighed then gripped harder on the cup. "Or I'm thinking of just going straight to the college secretary to file a leave of absence again? I honestly don't know."

"Why?" Levi chipped in, done with cleaning the mess. "That man did you bad or something?" You sunk at the question. Time and time again, you're dropping major things in your life because of something that can't be deemed real.

"Well… there's nothing in particular. I just thought I can't do school in general. Maybe I'm meant to join Isabel after all." You faked a laugh.

But then again, maybe your action makes more sense this time. Someone in that dream appeared before you after all. However, how sure are you that you're seeing the same person? What if you're just hallucinating and this Erwin Smith doesn't really look like him?

"So you went here because?" Levi asked and it took you time to answer.

If your eyes are indeed fooling you and this Erwin Smith isn't the one in your dreams, then why do they have the same name? Countless possibilities are taking over your mind again. Insane. Trapped. Cornered. The bones cracking and blood gushing are real. You made your brother die.

"I am extremely afraid to face him," You shakily blurted out. Only when you turned to the two did you realize how weird it sounded.

"Off we go then. Bring the keys with you, Furlan." He then turned to you. "And fix your face, we'll go with you."

"Pardon?" You shot them with a confused look. How did the conversation turn into this?

"Did I stutter?"

"No, it’s just very unnecessary."

"We don't have anything to do for today either way." Furlan said.

"Yeah, and don't mind us," Levi slightly raised his hand holding a medium-sized paper bag. "I also need to bring this since that old bastard forgot to claim his orders."

"Yeah, no, but really– you don't have to bother yourselves with my matters." You stuttered.

"You can't convince us otherwise with that state." Levi pressed. "And wipe your face now. There's no point in crying."

"I'm not?" But when you tapped your cheeks to confirm, it was indeed moist.

Levi shot you a glance before walking away. "Oh? I must be blind then."

And there you go, with Furlan just beside the door while you and Levi stood in front of him; sitting in his glory with thin-layered silver eyeglasses which you're quite thankful for. It created a slight distinction from the man in your nightmares.

"We just saw each other earlier. Never thought you'd be that clingy." He mused at Levi. Yeah, and I never thought you'd be this approachable. You thought to yourself.

"Well, this," Levi threw a paper bag with his products at the man, luckily Erwin caught it quickly. "And this," Then pointed at you. "Just wondering what made her so frightened of you. Figured I'd humor myself."

"No! I'm not!"

"Yeah, we just came with her since she's dropping your class or leaving college altogether, something like that. We got nothing to do after all since you made my boss drunk. We also figured it'd be nice for Isabel to have someone we know as she goes beyond her life endeavors." Furlan chipped in, already inside the office and walking at the bookshelf.

"I thought she doesn't feel well, though.” Erwin muttered and so you looked sidewards. You completely forgot about the email. He also glanced at your hand wrapped in a bandage. “Are you really okay now?"

You hid it behind your back. "Since you asked me to talk about this personally, I figured I'd do it now."

"Okay." He then called your name. Such a trivial gesture and yet it sent horrible chills down your spine. It's presumably his first time uttering your name but somehow it feels like he's been doing it since since forever. "What are you planning to do now? Are you really dropping this semester?"

"I'm considering it yet."

"If that's the case and you’re filing another medical leave then you need your legal guardian or someone close to that. You're not all unfamiliar with it, are you?" Ah, right. Of course, Hannes will tell him everything he knows about the situation. This man’s first impression of you was literally knocked unconscious on the floor, after all.

"That's why we're here," Levi answered on your behalf then walked onto the office couch to sit. "Her only dependable guardian is away from here and the other who's supposed to act as one is a shitty woman who is being taken care of by my mother as of the moment. If there's someone who must accompany her on this matter, it's us. If a certification will be needed then we'll go for it." You turned to him wide-eyed. How much does he know exactly? Also, he’s not the one to intervene on your stuff. It’s not like you’re annoyed. It’s just that it’s been so long since you heard him speak of your matters that way, with sheer concern.

You wonder how many years were wasted because of your avoidance.

"Hm," Erwin sounded reluctant. "I have another proposition to offer if that's okay." Then looked at you for approval.

You want to get out of this room. "I don't mind."

"As I said, I was informed about your situation by the faculty so I decided to give any consideration needed just so you could finish this subject." The disappointed sigh you intended to keep to yourself was let out loud instead. It was needless to say Erwin looked surprised and amused by it. "And I would like to reiterate that this is the second time you'd be taking this subject among others. You previously filed a leave of absence mid-semester after all. Dropping this would certainly not look good on your records, don't you think?" Congratulations on your discovery, Commander smart-ass. Considering my age, it’s needless to say I’ve had bad records since I started school.

"I just don't have any idea how to push through when I go to a point of fainting at school, even before classes start." Not to mention his presence is what made you like that.

"Ah yes, I completely understand and I considered that as well. If I remember correctly, most of your professors for this semester are also aware of it and so far there are no other sentiments from them other than making necessary adjustments."

"How do you know that?" You curled your eyebrows at him.

"Mr. Hannes told me. And honestly, please don't pressure yourself regarding matters like this." I'm not pressured. I'm annoyed. "I'm quite new here but I can already see how kind our department is. They're very understanding of their students' welfare." No way. You're just stalling me here.

"That's true. Students in my department complain about the unnecessary pressure there, and hope they just went here instead." Furlan chipped in. "They just have no idea how to write."

"So, I propose to have extra time outside class hours for students who would need extra supervision for the course like you. I have plenty of time to offer. And also, I believe writing class should be as flexible as writing itself." Is this a drama plot somewhere? You almost scoffed out loud. Not because of misplaced annoyance but rather the dread. If this were Hannes you'd be really thankful, but a part of your mind screams please just don’t get near me instead, while the other screams guilt because he isn't doing anything wrong to warrant your disfavor.

"It’s not convenient for you, though. I don't think the faculty should waste their time and effort on people who are bound to quit."

Erwin sneered. "And I think you're overestimating our faculty. Academe is here to equip students so they'd be able to go on with their lives properly. It's their responsibility to nurture people so they won't be bound to quit."

"I'm a student who has academic lapses more than once. I think the consideration here is getting out of hand."

"Well, it's not like you wished to be in this position, is it?" You were shut into silence with that. "To clarify, I don't think the faculty is holding you down for no reason. From what I've been told, you were able to write projects that went big in the theater field despite being a student, let alone with what you call academic lapses." He mused in slight amusement at the term you came up with. "You were able to represent the university theater with your craft despite being here for a short time. I'm not quite sure with the details but the faculty didn't regret facilitating a talent test separate from the entrance exams, because they were able to get talents like you."

But then, what he said were things you completely deem irrelevant. Competence isn't what follows through when you see crushed bodies and pools of blood on a daily basis. You've got a distorted sense of reality for god knows how long already, and so your self-perception slipping away is the least of your concerns.

"So, what do you think about it? Extra classes are flexible time-wise. I also opted for output-based attendance so students don't have to rely on their presence alone to pass in my class." He then removed his eyeglasses and as if that's the much-needed trigger, you started trembling in your place. You want to run now, the only thing stopping your limbs is the self-consciousness of appearing like a stupid little girl.

"I'll consider it."

"Well, I'm afraid to break this to you but I do not plan to approve your filing of drop. Not at all. So I'd appreciate it if you could confirm your compliance with this right here. Or speak your contentions so we could go for other options."

"Huh?" You huffed. "But deciding to drop is my basic freedom as a student."

"Freedom does not acquit you from reason and so far you haven't presented me any valid basis as to why it's better to drop you than adjust on course requirements." And you won't believe me if I say you're a cold-blooded military man and seeing you makes me confused about what's real and not.

"But this isn't about me being a good student, this is about the inability to comply with the bare minimum of an enrolled student in this university."

"Which is again, something that can be talked upon for adjustments." Erwin interposed. He heard the small tsk you let out so he continued. "Okay. Three sessions. Attend three sessions of my class then decide again whether to quit or not. I won't be interfering with your choice by then." Would you be able to hold down for that long when right after seeing him you already got the worst nightmare of your life? Even as he speaks you can hear things.

"Just go with it. We'll help you." Furlan offered. You glanced at Levi for another opinion and little hope that he could say flashy things like earlier, but he's already slouched on the office couch with his coat covering his head. Honestly, it's getting tiring for you to come up with lackluster reasons.

"Fine, I'll go for it. But when that time comes I hope there'll be no more contentions from you."

"You have my word." You turned your back in quite a rush because the trembles are getting harder. However, he called your name. You faced him again only to see the most gentle look you've ever seen; utterly contrary to the ruthless persona you've witnessed on the same face. "Things might go harder from here on. So please don't hesitate to ask people for help. I'm sure they're all here for you." Your blood ran cold at the possibility that he might be pertaining to your nightmares. Even Levi and Furlan don't know the exact premise of it. And it really did become harder than ever since he came. You stormed out of the office immediately with hardest attempt to not cry.

And that concludes one of the most excruciating conversations you’ve had for a while. Historia demanded you spend the night at her place and since your mother doesn't seem to go home tonight, you grabbed her offer. She never failed to reiterate how imperative it is to not let any details slip, and so you told her everything that happened in your dream, your mom crying to Kuchel as well as Erwin's suggestion.

"How do you feel about your brother?" She asked.

"Just the same. Like, how-could-I-even-say-something-so-evil-at-age-two thoughts."

"And I'm reminding you every single time that it's not your fault. Being bothered with it for a while is understandable, but making it a basis for neglecting her daughter for more than a decade is another topic." And while you completely understood, it is different when you hear your mother crying about it every time she has someone in the house. You perceive it as her trying her best to overcome her demons. Echoing Erwin's statement, It's not like she chose to be in that position. You've been waiting for her for so long so you wouldn't mind doing it longer.

"Maybe the whole dream was me projecting that guilt." You curled up into a ball.

"I understand but I don't think it's that simple."

"What do you mean?"

"I always sound silly saying this and I try to shrug these thoughts countless times but, I really think there's something deeper with the nightmares. I mean!" She paused and you instantly got an idea of what she was about to say. "What if it's actually real all this time? Like, some sort of another world? Don't you think it sounds thrilling?"

"You're delusional."

"I agree! I may sound stupid about this!" She huffed. "But look at it now. You've been with me all your life. Almost everyone you knew I knew as well. I am certain you've never met that person before, but now that this happened I'm not sure anymore. Why did you dream of his face before we even met him? Why is his name in your dream the same as here?"

You huffed a small laugh, "Okay. You can stop now."

"Okay. I just wanted to prove a point."

"Taken, but see, whenever I face him I hear bones cracking and blood spilling. Even the giant footsteps are ringing in my ear. That's what I was feeling before I fainted."

"Oh no. It's that bad?" Her mood was instantly replaced with guilt. You're well aware of how she's just trying to make it lighter considering how bad this had affected you all these years. She's always been horrified with it as well but figured that both of you need to move forward and work around not making it disturb your life forever.

"I think it helped me a lot when Levi and Furlan went with me. At least I was reminded that there were people beside me who are real and uninvolved with the nightmares. But I still have no idea how to face him on my own, especially with the extra session crap he proposed. What if I just file an LOA again?"

"If that's the case then I'll be your constant reminder. We're in the same class after all.” Her tone became cheerful again. “I’d be even willing to accompany you with the sessions if needed! I'm so bored after all!" You sighed in defeat. What followed suit was a series of boring conversations people would have every sleepover, and you realized you're lucky enough to have this kid exhaust your thought process to the point of sleeping.

With a sharp breath, you felt your arms and leg sting. Your bones are cracked. Opening your eyes you saw the familiar moist wooden ceiling. It doesn't take you long to realize you're in the Scout Regiment's infirmary and aside from the bandages is a dry rough cloth you've been gripping on for dear life. Memories from the expedition flashed before you and upon realizing that this ragged cloth is the only thing you've brought back of your brother, tears welled up in your eyes again.

Is that really the outside world your brother was thrilled to explore? Life inside the walls is as miserable as it is but what good is there in your life if the outside land is more atrocious?

A scout member who entered the infirmary came to check you, and fortunately, he let you finish your cries first before approaching to check on your wounds. "How are you feeling?"

"How many days have passed?" You inquired plainly.

"It's been a week. Your progress is commendable so far. Such deep wounds may require a long time to heal if not permanent. But it's best to lie down until your wounds close, which may take a month or so."

"W-where," You stuttered as you felt an abrupt headache ringing all over you. "...are the others?" Your head's in a kaleidoscope. Different stuff and voices pile up in your mind continually. Maybe you hit yout head hard.

"We only managed to save a few people who were brought back. Some of them were dead on arrival, while others were able to survive but with blunt trauma. It's needless to say they're unfit for combat for the rest of their lives." He explained. "You are one of the few Scouts who managed to survive with the guarantee of full healing, so please avoid forcing your body to do things otherwise."

Observing him in one arm, it seems like he's no different from them. With a sigh, you asked him if it would be possible for you to eat. When he nodded and went out of the room, it came to you that all infirmary beds were occupied. It took only a minute until came back with what seemed to be a large wooden bowl of soup and a cup that smells like tea.

Before you could lament on how plain it is after being unconscious for a whole week, he clarified. "You just underwent surgery, and a large serving of meals would do you more harm than good. I also don't think you're capable of chewing your food yet." And he’s right. You actually don’t have the appetite. Furthermore, your squadmates flashed through your mind and panic rose again.

"Squad Leader Erwin, where is he? And the Scouts under his command? I would like to see them." You figured they must be the first people you ought to see, especially Erwin.

"Oh, so you were part of the surviving team from Squad Erwin?" His tone changed then. You looked at him in confusion. "That explains how fast you heal from your wounds compared to others. You must be strong enough for that man." He released a wry laugh upon realization. "I remember you now. Claps for your team, though. Almost all the squads present at the expedition were wiped out or incapacitated, but Squad Leader Erwin only managed to reduce you guys in half. So much for being his pawns."

"I dare you to say that again." You scowled. You're not taking anyone who'd trample on your brother's death and call him a mere pawn.

"Please don't be angry with me. I'm on your side. You're the sister of that man who's a sucker for Erwin, right?"

Utterly deprived of your rationality to stay composed and watch your mouth, you repled. "I wonder what made a permanently injured soldier who can't do anything but stay in this wicked place so drawn and contemptuous of my squad?"

His smug smile turned into a snarl. "Don't mix me in with the likes of you, all delusional for a new world when we can't even walk past the walls without hundreds of comrades turning into pulp."

"I may not be blinded with the idea of a whole new world like my brother, but I won't tarnish the name of our fallen comrades as if they risked their lives on something so futile. I don't get why people like you go to a place like this when you hold Survey Corps with such disdain."

"Don't get me wrong, missy. I used to be like you as well. Heck, I think I'm more like your brother than you. But before anything else, I would like to confirm something first. Your brother was eaten on Erwin's behalf, am I correct?" Your anger was quickly replaced by sheer numbness. You even felt your breath hitch after the inquiry.

"Seeing your reaction, I suppose I'm correct." You held on to the empty wooden bowl firmly, ready to make his head bleed if your patience runs dry. He continued to press nonetheless. "A comrade—no, a dear friend of mine died the same way."

"And?"

"I know hearing this would be hard for you. But please listen to me, not as a comrade but someone who went here years before you two." He started as he closed his eyes for a moment to sigh, and then continued. "Erwin and I went from the same division in Cadet Corps, so we knew each other for a long time. We graduated together and chose the Scouting Regiment together. We went along just well, to say the least. We even ended up together in the same squad. I was too foolish to think it's fortunate that we did. Trust me, I completely understand where you're coming from." With this, you're no longer on alert. Still, he noticed how your anxiousness persisted so he asked for your approval first before continuing. You nodded warily.

"Hope finally diminished in me when I got my hand eaten and I witnessed my friend die. Erwin and I had the most horrified looks on our faces. It was the first time someone really close died in front of us. It hit us harder than everything else. Honestly, I'm not insane enough to blame it on Erwin at first, even though our friend died protecting him." After this, his tone changed into anger and he gritted his teeth. "But that bastard, after everything that we've gone through, I was expecting him to lament over it. I was expecting him to at least show how remorseful he was about what happened. But he!" He banged his fist on the infirmary counter. "I can't believe I didn't notice how ruthless and insane he actually was. When I went to him after recovering from my lost hand and asked how he is after the traumatic encounter, he remained grimly indifferent. I pressed on him, slowly, but one day he just scornfully remarked that I should stop lamenting repeatedly over something that's over, or I'll be the next one crushed to death. Then I screamed at him, told him it was our friend who died, and he died to protect him! And you know what the fucker said? It was inevitable, which I agree of course, but then he remarked that my friend in the last minute of his life chose to die. So Erwin will choose not to be guilty about it because guilt is what would kill him. Erwin said not feeling bad about it is for the better to honor the death of our comrade. It put me off when he said that, honestly. In what way did he honor my friend's death exactly? So I picked a fight with him until he asked me with an annoyingly unbothered face, 'What good would it do to you if a death of a single person holds you back that much? If you can't suck it up and continue, just withdraw from being a Scout. Living in the comfort of the walls would suit a mentally weak person like you the best,' and that's how our friendship broke."

You held on to your blanket tight. Even though you can imagine him saying something like that, you cannot see him as someone so ruthless to disregard a comrade's life. Your brother, and even you who held him with slight contempt, never saw him like that.

"Since then he had became the eloquent man that he is now. He started talking trash about how important our comrades' lives were, and that we're here to continue the legacy of those who died so we should just fight until we achieve the answer beyond the walls. He talked and talked, and let other people die believing his bullshit. A manipulative bastard who secretly valued his own life and hid it with his eloquence."

You looked at your body all wrapped in bandages with a question ringing in your head— For whom did I offer these wounds? For whom did my brother offer his body? Although you know better than acting emotionally based on just one narrative, you can't help but be greatly affected by this. "What happened after?"

"You won't believe it! That man apologized after a month, saying he was very wrong to call me mentally weak. What the fuck was that? A last attempt to save face. And you know what, that Shadis doesn't make it even better. Our commander who does nothing but arrogance despite his soldiers dying on him is the one at fault for the death of your brother!" He's saying it with terrifying wide eyes and a maniacal laugh. It's one of the most deranged expressions you've seen for a while.

"To be honest, if not for the trust I put with my brother for his choices, I'd be seething in anger as well right now, but I'll see this for myself."

"I'm not asking you to buy my story. I just want you to understand why soldiers, and even citizens, hate Scouting Regiment to guts. Ever heard of the Dissolution Faction?" You bent your head sidewards in confusion so he continued. "Due to the people's unwavering plight, noblemen started to hear us. An anti-expedition faction intended for the fall of the Scouting Regiment was formed for a while now. From what I know, it was led by the concerned noblemen who think the Survey Corps are wasting people's funds, and expeditions must be postponed permanently."

"Don't you think your friend's life would really turn into vain if Survey Corps will not be successful in finding the answer beyond the walls?" You know these noblemen, you've worked with plenty of them. They might have different faces and different levels of fortune, but they all know better than being genuine to the masses. Behind that flamboyant facade of heroism is a sinister interest of their own— to have more of anything they put their eyes on. This nobleman, whoever they are, is no doubt using this faction to have the funds for themselves.

"My friend's life was already wasted the moment he died for that bastard." He rebuffed. "Good luck on seeing things for yourself though. I hope it won't hurt you the way it did for me. I was able to warn you after all."

"Whether or not it would hurt me is not your business,"

"Three spies from the Dissolution Faction will be entering the Survey Corps soon. The moment I'm waiting for will finally take place. I am thrilled to see that Erwin Smith and Shadis turn into ashes."

"Why are you saying this to me? Don't you think I can just easily turn you into the higher-ups?"

"It's not like you can do anything. What do you think will happen when you try to say it to them, huh? You think they'd believe you?" He provoked. "You have enough reason to hold our leaders with disdain. Your brother died because of their negligence after all!"

"Stop bringing me and my brother into this." You scowled.

"Believe me, if you died in your brother's stead, he'd come with that faction too." I doubt that but go on I guess. "You're smart enough to be in the Military Police so I trust your intuition to figure out how dirty things really are here. Come at me if you changed your mind. I have connections with them. My name's Vander." Military Police is way dirtier though, you thought to yourself. It's not like you're choosing the lesser evil, it's just that the mission here is way more sensical than that regiment.

As he went to fix some stuff, a knock was heard from the door. "This is Squad Leader Erwin Smith." The visitor remarked before entering.

"Speaking of the devil." Vander released a wry snark. He abruptly opened the door with your utensils at hand. He then turned around again, calling out your name. "Think about what I said, okay?" Then winked. You looked at him in disbelief. As he went out of the room, he intentionally bumped hard into Erwin's shoulder. Erwin remained stoic nonetheless.

"What a way to wake me up." You whispered with eyebrows curled and then started to massage your numbing legs.

"How are you feeling?" Erwin called your name.

Despite appearing unaffected, seeing him right after the talk about your brother's death and the possibility of Erwin using him, or you, as a pawn bothered you to no end. Pretending to examine your injuries, you answered. "That infirmary creep told me I'd get better in a month or so if I follow my treatment. So many injuries for my first expedition, I wonder how long I'd last at this point."

"I give my sincerest condolences and apologies for the death of your brother." Erwin lamented and you gripped hard on your legs upon hearing it.

"Why are you apologizing? Is there something you did wrong that caused my brother's demise?"

"Admittedly so," He answered without hesitation. "I am your squad leader, if there's something that caused your brother's death, it's my dereliction of duty. He also died while protecting me. If someone has to take accountability for his death, it should be me." It was hard to maintain a straight face as tears welled up your eyes again. You just turned your face to the side opposite from him so he wouldn't see you falter. What he said was very contrary to what Vander talked about, at least for now.

"And how'd you account for that?"

"Your brother left his will for you to me. I promised him to show it to you once he passed on."

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makeste · 3 years

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Open for movie speculation? :) The new key visual was released today and if you don't want miniscule spoilers then I'll gladly spend the time asking how you're doing in these times and how you light up my saturday with your posts that never cease to make me laugh haha. I do hope you're doing well :) So here's the wee spoiler (or should I call it a spoiler?) the antagonist(?) is called "Flect Turn", hope you have a nice week :)

so as usual, I'm late in responding to this, but I just wanted to clarify that my "no spoilers, please" policy pretty much only applies to the new BnHA manga chapters, and that's specifically because of the weekly reaction posts. I know part of the appeal of a liveblog is watching someone else's reactions to all of the surprises and twists and wtf moments, and so I try to preserve those each week. if I wasn't liveblogging the series I would probably be reading the leaks along with everybody else to tell the truth lol.

so that said, feel free to send me spoilers about the upcoming movie! out of respect for those who do want to avoid being spoiled, I'll tag those posts (and this one) with "bnha world heroes' mission spoilers" and "bnha movie 3 spoilers" so people can blacklist those tags if desired. but I personally have no objection to them; back when Heroes Rising came out I already knew all of the plot points and had read detailed spoiler summaries well before I finally got the chance to watch it myself. it definitely did not take away from the experience at all, and in fact I'm kind of glad I knew about the end twist ahead of time because I was able to devote more mental energy to analyzing and appreciating it rather than still being all "!!!!" from the shock lol.

so yeah, I've been trying to stay up to date with the news about WHM as well. here's everything I think we know so far:

the movie will take place during the Endeavor Agency internship, as expected.

the bad guys are a terrorist organization called "Humanize", who believe in the Quirk Singularity Doomsday Theory we first learned about during the Remedial arc. as a refresher, basically the idea is that as quirks continue to evolve with each new generation, they'll eventually grow too powerful for humans to control and will destroy the world or something lol.

anyway so Humanize hears about this, and they're either like, "man that sucks, we should just kill everyone with a quirk so it doesn't happen", OR they're like "man that sounds awesome, we should totally expedite that." like, I'm really not clear on this part lol. but either way, they apparently come up with a plan to cleanse the world of quirk users by planting magical plot bombs called Ideo Trigger Bombs, which make people lose control of their quirks.

as mentioned, the bad guys' leader is named Flect Turn for god knows what reason lmao. I'm guessing it's some kind of weird play on the word "reflect" (especially given his character design), and based on that, as well as the Ideo Triggers, I suspect this guy has the ability to somehow turn people's own quirks against them. you can see him at the bottom of the key visual anon mentioned, here.

anyway so the heroes are all "hmm, pretty sure the end of world = bad" and so they all decide to band together under this "W.H.A." umbrella (which I'm still assuming stands for either World Hero Agency or World Hero Association or something like that) to deal with the bombs.

as shown on the key visual, in addition to the Endeavor Agency trio, the movie will also feature the kids from Ryuukyuu, Fat Gum, Gang Orca (who has Jirou and Shouji interning under him for anyone who lost track), and Hawks's agencies.

the movie will also feature a new character named Rody Soul, who's this weird steampunk Dickensian urchin-looking guy with a ponytail lol. he apparently teams up with the trio following one of the bomb incidents.

most of the movie will apparently take place in a fictional country called Oceon (this is why nobody could quite place where that bridge in the trailer was from lol).

at some point Deku gets framed for murder idk. just Deku things.

and last but not least, as usual there will be a special manga tie-in release, in this case titled "Volume W(orld Heroes)". looks like the initial release will be exclusive to theater-goers in Japan, but I'm sure someone will get their hands on it and post it online, and Viz will eventually release it in English as well (they did the same with the previous two tie-ins). it'll include behind-the-scenes sketches, a new Horikoshi interview (probably the part I'm most looking forward to), and of course, the new movie tie-in chapter. as with the previous tie-ins (Volume Origin and Volume Rising), this will be written and drawn by Horikoshi himself. I'm hoping that it will feature the trio, but the other movie tie-ins featured All Might and Nine, respectively, so it's probably more realistic to assume this one will focus on Rody. ah well.

I think that's it. I haven't really done much speculating about the plot either tbh, though what we've learned seems pretty straightforward. Deku probably either gets framed for one of the bombs, or gets caught up in one of the blasts and loses control of OFA. or maybe they'll save that part for his fight with Flect at the end. god, if we get a scene where he goes on a Blackwhip rampage with a big screen budget I will lose my whole damn mind. especially if Kacchan and Shouto have to work together to stop him. can you imagine omg. but I should really rein myself in before I start getting way too hyped up over a bunch of wild hypotheticals. this is why I try not to speculate lol.

#bnha #bnha world heroes' mission #bnha movie 3 #bnha world heroes' mission spoilers #bnha movie 3 spoilers #boku no hero academia #bnha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #also thank you very much anon; I'm doing well and I hope you are too!

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lifeisdabubbles-undersalmondean · 3 years

Text

La Pomme ~ Chapter 12

Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)

Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?

Word Count: 5,500

Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.

A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.

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George was lounging in the warm bath water, trying to use breathing exercises to clear her mind and calm herself. It had been a long day, capping off a long almost-month inside the Supernatural Universe. There were so many questions she couldn't answer and she wished she could turn her brain off; focus on anything else.

"George?" She heard Dean's muffled call from the other side of the bathroom door. "You OK in there?"

"Yea," She answered quietly. "Just humiliated," She added with an eye roll.

"Don't sweat it," Came his unusually sympathetic reply. "We've all been there, or somewhere similar… or somewhere worse," He added off handedly, taking another bite of pie. It occurred to him suddenly that the two of them were alone and Dean had a thought. After a moment's hesitation, he swallowed his bite of pie and called timidly, "George?"

"Yea?" She responded curiously, her voice raised slightly to compensate for the sound barrier. There was such a long pause with no answer that she wondered if it had just been her imagination. As she was about to call out again, she heard him finally.

"Can I ask you something?" Came an inquiry so quiet she almost didn't hear it. He sounded uncharacteristically troubled and… nervous?

"Yea, sure," She answered gently.

"What do you know about Michael?"

"Michael who?" Came her quick, confused reply.

"The archangel? Asshole that's been wearing me as a suit the last few weeks?" She was suddenly reminded of the fact that she was living inside of a TV show and it stunned her into silence. "That Michael? Has he not been on the show or...?" The nervous huff in his reply shook her out of her stupor. She realized this must be a hard topic for him. Unfortunately, though, she didn't have any insight to give.

"Oh fuck, right, Michael," She swallowed and gathered her thoughts before replying with a sigh, "I'm sorry, Dean, I don't really know much. I hadn't started this season yet," She finished apologetically.

"Thanks," Came a sarcastic reply.

She frowned and defended, "Look, I have a life, dude! I get behind, I can't always tune in every Thursday! Trust me, no one is more sorry about that than me right now. Maybe if I had, I could have done something to prevent this insane situation." A heavy sigh dotted the end of her sentence pointedly. Then she had a strange, disconcerting thought:

Would you really have prevented this from happening if you had a choice?

The thought startled her and she guiltily refused to answer herself.

A welcome distraction for her was noticing the silence that followed her answer to Dean; George could tell he was still concerned. Reaching over and grabbing the door handle, she cracked it just enough to spy Dean sitting on the edge of the mattress, holding a take out box. He glanced at her almost imperceptibly and she could tell her eyes weren't exactly welcome, so she turned her head away but left the door open.

"Here's what I've heard/seen on accident," She started, pausing to think and then saying carefully, "He comes back somehow," She heard him bristle but kept going, "And you do something to trap him. Some kind of box… or maybe a walk-in freezer?" She was trying to organize the spoilers she'd seen and identify what was related to Michael and what wasn't. "I know that doesn't make a lot of sense and I'm sorry, but that's all I've got."

Dean sighed and shrugged, "It's alright, George. I'm just… feeling lost. Was hoping for some clues, but it's not on you to save my bacon." George gave a wry smile to the bath water and sat quietly for a moment.

Finally she turned her head to look at him and asked, "You want to know what I do know, Dean?"

Slowly, he turned to look at her with an intrigued eyebrow, "I don't know, do I?"

With an amused eye roll she spoke, "I know this--right now--this story line with alternate Michael? It's two seasons behind where you and your brother end up in my reality. And--at least as far as I remember--this alternate Michael isn't a starring role for very long."

Dean furrowed his eyebrows at her in consideration, "Meaning?"

She shrugged and offered, "Meaning, you figure this out. Like you always do. You will figure this out and you will beat Michael and be onto the next big bad, whomever that is. Which, don't even ask because I really have no idea. Haven't watched those seasons at all yet… I think there's one episode where you meet Scooby Doo?"

Dean smirked and rolled his eyes, telling her matter-of-factly, "We already did that."

"No shit?! That already happened?" When he nodded in confirmation George 'ughed' loudly, rolling her eyes, "Damnit, that must have been one of the ones I just watched. What was it like?! Was Shaggy really high? Was Daphne really hot? Was Scooby just adorable?!"

Dean chuckled and answered, "Uh, yes, hell yes, and duh! It's Scooby Doo! Of course he's adorable!"

"Was it weird to be animated?"

He shrugged a little, "Eh, kin-"

She cut him off with a gasp, "Wait! Was all of you animated, like.. did you have all your-"

He shook his head and proclaimed, "That's none of your business!"

"Sorry!" George apologized defensively, then begged, "Tell me you and Daphne-"

"George!" Dean admonished with feigned offense, "I don't kiss and tell."

She scoffed and guessed, "Struck out, huh?"

Dean frowned and simply said, "Her and Fred are an item. I didn't want to break that up," to which George laughed in disbelief.

"Yea, I got it. I think things are starting to come back to me now," George teased him and he shrugged in defeat, unable to deny the fact that he definitely struck out with Daphne. When her laughter died away, she looked at him again and said, "I'm sorry I can't be more of a help. I know, I know, it's not my job to save you but that doesn't mean I enjoy not being able to." They were quiet again for a minute and she sighed, "If I could just call Ryan."

"Who's he?"

"She is my Winchester Wiki," She explained very matter of factly and Dean stared at her with an annoyed expression. With a smile she continued, "She's my friend and she's also a fan of the show; Got me back into it later in life and, well lets just say, she pays closer attention than I do. She'd be able to help you with this whole Michael problem without breaking a sweat. Oh and she's gorgeous," George tossed on and Dean raised a curious eyebrow. She caught his curious expression and asked, "You don't happen to have a phone with trans-universal long distance coverage by chance?"

Dean snorted and shook his head in bemused defeat, "Not on me." He was frustrated that she didn't have more insight on Michael, though somewhat comforted by the fact that-at least in her reality-he wasn't dead yet. That was something, he guessed.

"So," George smirked at him, glee in her eyes, "American's Next Top Model, hmm?"

"What, are you surprised? A house full of attractive models?" Dean gave her an obvious expression.

She shark-mouthed understandably and nodded, "Fair point. Allison cycle 12? Ooof. Hello!"

Dean considered her assessment for a moment, then nodded agreeably but offered, "Mercedes, cycle 2."

George had to remember who that was for a minute but then nodded emphatically, "Yes! Gorgeous and she was good. She ended up top three, right?"

They compared notes for a few minutes, until he finished the last bite of pie in the container he was holding. Then he whipped out his phone and muttered in her direction, "Finish your bath. I'm gonna text Sam for more towels."

When Sam got the text he snagged a pile from a housekeeping cart on their way back to George's room. They had also stopped by the car and brought up a few bags, per his request. Dean carefully handed George the towels through the bathroom door, so as to not accidentally see any bits, and then turned to Sam for a room update.

"Bad news: no adjoining rooms. The best I could do was five doors down. Even more bad news: only one queen bed." Sam held up the room key with a feigned wince. "But listen, I don't think we should leave George alone, so I'll just crash on the floor in here and you can take the room."

"Wow, what a sacrifice," Dean chuckled knowingly at his brother and snatched the key from him. "Shouldn't we have Cas handle it, though?"

"No, why?" Sam protested a little too fast.

"Because he doesn't need sleep. He can keep an eye on the little deserter. Make sure she doesn't do it again?"

Sam frowned, "She's not going to. And if she does, I think I can handle it. How is she supposed to get any sleep with Cas staring at her all night?"

"I don't stare at people when they sleep," Cas interrupted. With a huff he clarified, "I stare at the wall."

Dean looked at the offended angel and shrugged, "It's not that bad. He's quiet. Honestly, it's kind of comforting when you think about it." There was an awkward pause and Dean added, "Sometimes he'll sing for you if you ask nice-"

"Dean," Castiel admonished him for sharing something so intimate. Cas only did that for him.

Sam looked between the two of their sheepish faces and then assured sarcastically, "Yea, a singing angel staring at the wall in the dark. Totally not creepy."

George came out of the bathroom wrapped in the clean towels from Dean. She was now looking a little sheepish as well, "Hey, sorry about earlier. All of it. I jus-"

"Ah, ah, ah!" Dean held up a hand to her. "Save it for the morning. You can spill your guts over breakfast. We couldn't get adjoining rooms, so Cas and I will be just down the hall; Sam will stay with you tonight. On the floor," He said pointedly with a 'behave' look toward Sam, who rolled his eyes in irritation. George nodded, barely listening, and let out a tired sigh.

Then she had a startling thought and groaned, "Shit. I'm going to have to put those crusty clothes back on."

Dean grinned proudly, "You're not the only one with surprise gifts." He took the bags that Sam and Cas had retrieved from the car and set them down on the wooden table.

"What's this?" She asked, grabbing one of the handles and peeking into the bag where she spotted the Friends logo hoodie she'd picked out at Target. "My clothes? My deodorant?! Oh Dean! Thank you so much! I would kiss you but you have pie like… all over your face, but thank you!" As she dug into the bags to search for the PJs, Dean looked questioningly at Sam and Cas who nodded in confirmation.

"Why didn't you say anything?" Dean grumbled, moving over to the sink to wipe his face. Sam shrugged in feigned innocence, laughing internally at his idiot brother.

"How did you get all the clothes I picked?" She asked, impressed.

"We got lucky; Sam happened to hear one of the employees complaining about a nutty woman who'd run from the store like a bat outta hell and abandoned all her stuff," Dean gave her a pointed stare.

She looked first at Sam, and then Cas and Dean, with immense gratitude, "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" Her spirits had been lifted a little. The fresh underwear alone was going to make her feel a thousand times better.

"They mentioned they'd already put back one or two items when we asked about it, so hopefully we got the right replacements." Sam warned her.

"I don't care! I can apply deodorant and brush my teeth; I'm sure I can put together at least one clean outfit with what's here! So I'm hap-" She suddenly stopped and froze, having discovered a strange item in one of the bags. "Wha?" In one swift motion she pulled out a pale pink lace bodysuit and held it up for them to see. With an annoyed, yet curious expression she looked at Dean and asked, "Someone care to explain this?"

Dean held his hands up in innocence and Sam inspected the garment in confusion.

"It looked nice on the mannequin and the Target associate who helped me pick it out said it was bold, yet feminine. Perfect for the new woman in my life," Castiel happily explained, sounding as though he was reciting someone else's words.

George blushed a bit, looking at Sam and Dean like 'is he for real?', unsure how to respond. Both men shrugged unhelpfully, avoiding eye contact with the item she was still holding, and remained quiet. Cas seemed so proud, she didn't want to ruin it.

Finally, she stuttered out, "Wow. OK, well… thanks. Very thoughtful of you, Castiel…"

"If you wanted to provide me with your exact measurements, the sales associate offered to help me pick out a 'matching bra and panty se'-"

"OK, why don't we quit while we're ahead, eh Buddy?" Dean grabbed up four of the remaining takeout boxes and motioned for Cas to do the same. He then reached for the pink, lacey material in George's hand, jokingly trying to take it from her.

She swatted him with it and held it out of his reach, "Hey! You're the old woman in his life."

He couldn't help but laugh in response, though he shook his head in annoyance, and then headed out the door with the angel in tow, "See you crazy kids in the morning!"

When they left George looked at Sam curiously, "Is it wrong that I kind of want to give Cas 'my measurements' and then watch him try to pick out lingerie?"

Sam smirked in amusement but nodded, "Yes."

"Oh, you're no fun," George chuckled and tossed the teddy back into the bag.

"Perhaps the wrong audience?" He suggested with a chuckle.

"Yea, that's fair," She agreed. While she rifled through the bags and grabbed out some black PJ pants, a light blue, short sleeved t-shirt, and a pair of underwear, Sam watched her quietly. To say he was relieved to find her safe and unharmed was an understatement. He'd also been thrilled by her admission that she liked it here, but, like Cas, he was curious what it meant. And what it could mean for him.

Does she like it enough to stay maybe? He cursed at himself for even thinking it.

"Uh, George?" He finally pushed through the nerves and forced himself to speak.

"Hmm?" She responded curiously, not looking up from her bags just yet.

He tried to adopt a nonchalant, yet comforting tone and asked, "When you were saying earlier that you felt… comfortable here? Like you belong? What did you mean?"

Pausing her rummaging, she glanced over at him, caught off guard by the question. Truthfully, she didn't know if she could answer it. She was quiet for a long time, trying to decide how deep she wanted to get into this.

Finally, she turned to him and said, "Back home I… I've always had this strange, out of place feeling. Major dysphoria my whole life and kinda irritatingly painful too, like... full body restless leg syndrome. I've always imagined it similar to how a trans individual might experience feeling like they were born in the wrong body, ya know?" Sam made a noise of confirmation and she continued, "Except, my body is fine--well, it's not the cause of this problem anyway," they chuckled together.

"It's more… my whole being was wrong somehow, like I didn't belong. Anywhere. I had trouble connecting with people and making friends; even my own family seemed so different from me. I felt like I was on a different wavelength than other people, and not in a snooty, I'm-better-than-anybody way but like a sad, I-have-hardly-any-friends-because-I-can't-relate way, so it sucked. Hard. My family wasn't much help; though they tried to help by testing me for every 'disorder' you could think of. Nada. I was just… inexplicably different and no one could explain why. I could barely explain what I was feeling. They--my parents--were surprisingly relieved when I came out after college. For them, my 'struggle with the fact that I liked boys and girls throughout my childhood' explained everything away so perfectly, that they wrote it off right then and there. But it never had to do with that; my sexuality was nothing I ever struggled with, I just didn't feel like I needed to tell them. And since I'm still queer in this reality..." She trailed off her point, allowing him to fill in the blanks, with a chuckle.

Sam nodded with a sympathetic smile, clearly reading on her face how painful her experience had been. Gently he asked, "And now, being here, i-in this reality, you feel...?"

Her head tilted to the side and, looking at him wide-eyed, she sighed deeply, "Now? God, now, I feel… normal? Or, at least what I can only assume normal people feel like." Suddenly her voice was heavy with deep emotional relief, "I don't know how to explain it… and I don't know why, maybe I don't even care why, but I feel so good for the first time in forever. Emotionally, spiritually, physically... The constant restless buzzing is mercifully just gone. Sometimes I think I feel it again--that terrible, agonizing discomfort--and my heart skips a beat. But then my brain registers that it really is gone and I still feel good! And that feeling is almost better than the best sex I've ever had."

Sam shark-mouthed in surprised appreciation and teased kindly, "So, I guess you did know how to explain it?"

George let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding with a chuckle and nodded, "Yea, I guess so. Honestly, I'm a little scared to go back," A few tears that had welled up as she was proselytizing spilled down her cheeks uncontrollably and she reached up to wipe them away, blushing lightly.

As George contemplated her admission in the silence, the guilt she felt over leaving them earlier was back. Why the hell did she leave if she'd felt so damn good here? She also felt like a stupid, impulsive child running away from the only people who seemed to care about her, at least insofar as they didn't want her to die. She felt especially guilty that Sam had stuck his neck out for her with Dean and she'd basically stomped on it.

Sam stood awkwardly, watching her with an empathetic grimace. He nearly leapt over to comfort her but… Christ, was this situation complicated. Maybe if things were different, maybe if she wasn't safer in her old reality, maybe if they hadn't handcuffed her to a chair and interrogated her, maybe if she hadn't spent the last few hours crying through an existential crisis, maybe if he wasn't terrified she would push him away in disgust? Maybe if she wasn't practically naked right now... maybe then he wouldn't feel so torn about walking over and wrapping her up into a bear hug.

After a moment of nervously wringing her fingers, George met his eyes and took a deep breath, apologizing, "I'm sorry I ran, Sam. I don't even really know why I-"

"Hey, you don't have to explain anything to me," Sam shook his head definitively, taking a few small steps toward her, now within arms reach. "I understand what you're going through-sort of, and you know, in reverse but still-I get it. Don't worry about it," He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it, "I'm just happy I found you."

At his touch, her heart skipped a beat and she felt her whole body flush, goosebumps forming on her skin. The sincerity in his voice and the look in his eyes nearly made her physically swoon. Was that an admission of something or just a subtextless statement of forgiveness? Staring into his eyes made her feel like she was on the downswing of the world's tallest roller coaster. She had to force herself to break eye contact before she could breathe again. He squeezed her hand once more before slowly letting go and as he did she had a realization.

"Thank you." Mustering up a smile through her butterflies, she clumsily grabbed the clothing she needed. "Anyway, I'm suddenly very, very aware of the fact that I'm naked-oh and have been since the three of you got here," She realized, blushing again. Jesus, I took a bath with Dean Winchester in the next room. Her legs felt like jelly as she tried to remain cool, calm, collect, walking toward the bathroom, "Uh, so, I should probably go put some clothes on, now."

Sam nodded understandingly and said with an earnest expression, "Hopefully not on my account." When George froze mid step and jerked her head towards him, burning red from head to toe, he faltered, "Er-uh-I just meant, you don't need to feel uncomfortable naaak-err-without-I mean you aren't making me uncomfortable while-without… clothes." George was relaxed by his shy, adorable stuttering, although at this point 'shy' surprised her. He'd been just as bold back at the bunker, more than once. He sighed and gave her a meek smile, "Uh, somehow this sounded less creepy in my head."

With a chuckle she put him out of his misery, "Relax, Ravenclaw, I understand. It's not on your account, it's on mine," She assured him, to which he nodded thankfully, a relieved expression on his face. She turned back to the door of the bathroom, pushing it open and stepping in.

When she exited the bathroom again, now fully clothed, the only light in the room was now the small, soft light above the bed. At first, the room seemed empty and George wondered if she'd scared Sam away with all her emotions. She was about to call out for him when she finally noticed a pair of big old feet sticking out from along the side of the bed near the window.

"Sam? What are you doing?" She walked over and found him lying on the ground on top of one solitary blanket.

"Just relaxing." He shrugged boyishly.

"On the floor?"

He clarified, "On my bed."

"Sorry, this tissue paper is supposed to be your bed?" She asked for clarification.

"Standard issue motel comforter. And, yea, it's perfect," He reached down on his side and pulled the right side of the blanket over himself. "See, you just fold the top over and it becomes a mattress and a blanket in one!" He seemed genuinely pleased about his makeshift accommodations, as though he was sharing a trade secret with her.

"Wow," she tried to sound impressed, "clever." She hopped onto the bed above him complimenting a bit sarcastically, "Quite the boy scout, aren't you?"

His head jerked up to look at her. There it was again. Another line direct from his dream falling familiarly from her lips. Hearing the pet name conjured images in his mind of the dream woman saying it. It felt identical.

But, how? That dream wasn't real. It was just Gabriel. George is a different woman, it's just a coin-

"Hey, can I ask you something?" George cut into his internal panicking with a soft voice suddenly.

"Yep?" He tried to seem nonchalant.

"Well… OK, I'm just going to say this because fuck it, I have nothing to lose at this point," She wasn't looking at him but sensed his nervous curiosity right away. Ignoring her own butterflies, she said, "Seems to me that the Sam I met at the bunker would have committed to that earlier 'unintended' innuendo." She raised a sideways brow at him, checking out of the corner of her eye to make sure he understood what she was referencing. When she could tell he did, she finally turned her head to meet his eyes and with a shy smile asked, "So, what gives?"

Sam considered her question for a minute; he wasn't sure where to start. Finally he folded his hands in his lap and shrugged sadly, "Actually, uh-about that, I feel like I owe you an apology."

Oooh, that doesn't sound good, George tried to hide her grimace. Her stomach started twisting in painful knots. What's that you were saying about nothing to lose?

"Por que?" She was trying to stave off a cold sweat.

"For… Well, I guess, how about handcuffing you to a chair and interrogating you for starters? For allowing you to be sexually assaulted by a demon? For letting you risk your life to come with us on this hunt? For hitting on you when you were obviously going through a difficult time? Take your pick."

She let out a breath of surprised relief and smiled curiously, "Oh… well in that case, let me just say: one, your brother was the one who handcuffed me to the chair--and it was understandable. Two, it's not your responsibility to protect me from the likes of Tim. He wasn't the first creep and he won't be the last." He seemed thoroughly unsatisfied by that response, so she tried to lighten it up by continuing, "And three, you didn't let me come on the hunt. Clearly I strong armed you." A tiny snort of amusement emitted from him and she smirked, then added curiously, "And, lastly, just to be clear… you were hitting on me?"

He huffed in humiliation, running his hand over his face, unable to look at her, "God, I feel like a real jackass." A blackhole was growing in the pit of his stomach. "Your world was literally turned upside down and you needed help not--not some weird, bunker dwelling asshole making advances."

"Uh, Sam," At first George laughed; the absurdity of the hottest man on television apologizing for hitting on her struck her funny bone. However, when it registered just how sober the tone of his voice was, the reality of the situation hit her again like a ton of bricks. She realized that part of her was still anticipating Jared to break at some point and reveal all of this had been an elaborate set up. It hadn't occurred to her yet that, for Sam, this was all real. His sincerity touched her.

She swallowed down the rest of her laughter, along with her typical smartass response, and smiled kindly, "Thank you for the apology and I appreciate the thought, I really do, but it's not necessary. You had no idea, considering I lied to you--which I'm also sorry about if I haven't already said that." That last part came out quickly upon realizing she might not have apologized yet. He gave her a kind smile and waved her off gently, so she continued, "So, please don't feel guilty. And I'll let you know if your advances are ever unwanted. Promise."

The deja vu hit him again so hard it knocked the wind out of him. His eyes snapped up to meet hers from his spot on the floor. A blush creeped across her cheeks as he stared curiously. She was back on the roller coaster, butterflies tumbling in her gut, but forced herself to keep eye contact, allowing him to conduct his search. She wasn't sure what he was so determinedly looking for but she hoped he was finding it.

A mix of emotions wrestled within him at the moment. Though he knew logically it made no sense, he was having a harder and harder time denying that he knew this woman, intimately--in every sense of the word. But, how?! And, holy shit, was she saying what he hoped she was saying? He could feel his hopes skyrocketing while he struggled to hold them down in self-preservation.

A huge yawn broke out on her face, ruining the moment and snapping Sam out of his stupor.

"Whoa, Jesus," She laughed a bit, surprised by the force of the yawn.

"Time for bed?" Sam tried to mask his disappointment at the disruption. She nodded agreeably.

"Listen, could you at least take a pillow, please? One pillow? For me?" Pulling the sheets back, so she could climb in, she yanked a pillow out and tossed it over the edge of the bed. She heard it land with an audible POOMPF right on his face. "Oops," she said with a snicker, reaching over to turn off the lamp on the table while he adjusted the pillow behind his head.

Sliding up under the covers, she settled down on her back. The deafening silence in the room allowed her mind to wander freely while she stared up at the ceiling. After a moment she rolled onto her side and peeked over the edge of the bed, surprised to find Sam's beautiful hazel eyes staring intensely back at her in the dark.

She whispered, "Sam?"

"Yeah?" Came a soft, low rumble, as he continued to stare back.

"How did you find me?" She wondered.

"Uh…" He turned away from her quickly and shifted nervously. He felt compelled to be honest with her; luckily the shroud of darkness made him bolder than he would have been in the harsh light of day. "We tracked you through the cab company mostly. Lost your trail at the diner and then… I'm not really sure. We were driving around and when I saw the sign for the motel I… uh, just had a strong feeling that you were here?"

"...uh huh." His answer surprised her. So much so, that she had to break eye contact and lay back down. She stared at the ceiling in shock.

What did that mean?

Though even as she asked herself the question, she had a feeling that she already knew. It was a feeling that didn't exactly put her at ease; raising more questions than it answered. She mulled it over for a few moments, before deciding she was too tired to pull at that thread.

She finally shrugged a little and said, "Good instincts?"

"Yeah… that must be it," He trailed off, having a nearly identical conversation with himself, and they fell silent again.

"Sam?" She said, choking back a nervous laughter. When she heard him respond with a curious grunt she hesitated. Finally, she blurted in a quiet, definitive whisper, "Samgirl. No question." When she could hear the smile behind another, practically silent--as though he was trying to hide it--grunt of confirmation she smiled wide, adding quickly, "And just so you know, that is the first and last time you will ever hear me utter that silly term of my own volition."

"Understood," He murmured in a teasingly serious tone, making her laugh quietly.

With another big yawn, she forced herself to stop engaging. Before rolling over, she tossed over her shoulder, "And don't tell Dean. He'll be devastated and we have a job to do." The sound of his joyful chuckling was the last thing she heard before sleep overtook her.

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