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lgcsaem · 4 months

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✰ … ACHY BREAKY. don't worry, he's fine— he does this all time ( solo ).

evaluations hadn't ever been something to worry over.

he'd been tested all his life, exposed to the cutthroat world of dance, theater, and now, in recent years, preparation for the idol status misaki yearned to achieve. while something he'd decided to pursue on a whim, teenage boredom and the fear of missing out weighing heavily on his scatterbrained mind with a dire need for relief, misaki can't deny that this is where he belongs. while his path was ever winding, without fail, it would continue upwards, and no evaluation would derail that trajectory.

he's done then too many times now to properly count, so, while there's nothing for the young boy to be worried over, something bubbles in the pit of his stomach— excitement. this was something different, a test unlike all he'd been made to face in the past, one solely focused on personality, entertainment, and, to an extent, heart.

and, boy, did misaki have a lot of gremlin-like qualities heart.

he's was genuine to a fault, open and eager to be seen, uncaring towards what other people's thoughts about him were ( why should he care? they were bound to learn eventually, so why cry over it when he could simply move on to people who valued all he had to give ). the want to be inherently liked was present, yes, but being disliked wouldn't crush his spirits, so long as he could get a laugh or two to spill out.

so, misaki stands from his seat as his turn to present finally comes, a cheeky grin spread across rosy cheeks and slightly chapped lips. before him are a preappointed panel of coaches, all people who know him well. he'd couldn't disappoint them now.

misaki gives a half-correct salute. "snaggletoothed misaki, a.k.a saem, reporting for duty!"

he'd done well to pick his particular talent, a somewhat flashy show of stretchy limbs and popping joints ( he's overjoyed every day for the limberness with which he'd developed over the years and the double jointedness he'd been naturally born with ), having not only bent himself into a multitude of different shapes, something resembling a pretzel garnering a rather loud gasp from someone in the room, but also showcasing his ability to dislocate his shoulders and pop them back into place like it was nothing— when he claimed he was able to circle his arms around his whole body without unclasping them, he'd been serious!

all in all, misaki had thoroughly enjoyed himself, so he could only believe those around had enjoyed him in turn.

#✰ . . . ( 𝗟 𝗢 𝗔 𝗗 𝗜 𝗡 𝗚 : solo ) !#lgc:workshops #( ihave a HEADACHE <3

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lostjulys · 2 years

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WHGHHGHHH. okay donefor the night <3333

#ihave got a HEADACHE & a CAT sleepying next to me & i am COLD & SLEEPY!!!!#i think. iamgoing to finish making tea & maybe. watch something. i'mnot sure what. ooh theres a new vid w/ tolariancommunitycollege &#those yugioh guys.. maybe that. heehee. >:3 #dot text

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zorphie · 7 months

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Here I saw that you dropped this so I came into your inbox to return it to you 🖊️ (give me any precious OC you have in stock I wanna Know about them)

ty for the ask!! (eats 🖊 whole) everything is below :]

i shall talk about devin for 2day.. my token failboy. God

he's from earth Except it Sucks!! because he's ostracized a lot and has no friends💔 he will often come home and indulge himself in a bunch of his hobbies like drawing ,writing , making music, he's literally just the art kid. he was into a lot of fantasy and imagining himself in those kinds of worlds, doing lots of heroics , yeah you see where this is going . The irony

his only company is his mom which he doesn't mind too much, but it's led him to develop a very self centered attitude (he focused more on himself because he didn't have other people to empathize with if that makes sense?)mf never learned how to share

he ends up in the spiral because there was an urgent situation where mana was flooding into earth, quinn was sent to deal with it. he was worried that devin absorbed it because he could sense his magic and also wanted to save him because devin had some weird negative aura cast on him Somehow (effects include nausea and blurry vision, headaches to anyone nearby, fun all around) quinn was like What Is Going On, panicked, and took him along. worried about this decision later because what if the teachers flip . the plan was just to help devin and bring him back home (uhh very long groan. because this is wizard101 we all know the latter didn't happen)

coming into the spiral has changed devin a Lot for better and for worse. he felt guilty for leaving his mom behind, and she disappeared when he came back to visit. he was excited to learn magic but i think the realization settled in after he killed a man (malistaire)

as the arcs go on he has friends now! finally a circle of people who will accept him. he learns what empathy is because of that! hes still silly and loud but he becomes selfless, a bit more mature and level headed. but he feels like he's become "too selfless" to the point where he's going a little nuts ? always being self sacrificing just to save everyone if possible? the yw pipeline. he wishes he could settle down for A Minute to use his hands to create art again not destroy things . gwah.

just wait until he hears about azteca🙄

he learns his dad is the giant tree and his mom straight up stole him when he was like 3 or something and took him away . Crazy. he's conflicted by the fact that he's being shaped into a weapon by no matter who it is? his mom or the spiral? (his mom is a completely different can of worms I will not be getting to rnLOL but yeah she was just plotting to use him for selfish reasonz) he doesn't like knowing he was born for the sake of (all the horrors he's had to deal with. Erm?) and wants to have an identity seperate from that. his friends remind him that he's still just a human being too. he's doing his best

he delved more into astral magic around arc 3 which was not by choice. at all. (crazy woman told him to . idk why but ihave a lot of evil wizarfd women) and he should not have learned that much but he did! uhmwhoops. it's hazardous. it does not just enhance spells -he could accidentally fuck up time and space. he's learning how to control it with eden and lalin because he needs to eventually. does not actually go to the arcanum scholar about it because he's terrified of seeming like a threat to them

hypothetically he could time travel but that's for his super secret alternate version who's stuck in a time loop we don't worry about that guy

devin's other path would've been a villain if quinn never dragged him into the spiral,, he was missing and people were looking for him but it was near impossible to find him because of the aura he had going on. ambrose's spell wouldn't have worked. (his mom was taking a lot of precautions) it was just known that the scion was out there and he needs to get his ass in the spiral asap or we're all fucked (quinn standing there like 🧍‍♂️as if he isn't ambrose's errand boy)

devin's alternate self is aware of him and is supposed to show/answer "which life would've been better for him". since he's obviously not having a care free time in both

dasein kinda reached him around empyrea because of the astral magic stuff sorta fucking with reality but it was very limited

oh and his eyes turn from full purple to a tint of blue he's got stardust hands now. it's "contagious" and he can flick his hands onto anything and get glitter all over it, he does it a lot on his friends . his blood is also glitter. somebody help him. pros: glitter. Cons: black holes. is it worth it

he's trying to start a silly band.. only amari and erin will join nd they will never stop annoying the others about it

devin is good at the storm spells, but the machines related stuff that his teacher assigns? not at all.so he cheats and asks for eden to do it

his pet is a zappy glowbug who's always scared of everything and frequently flies into glass. it acts as his nightlight. it's also probably radioactive . it can charge your devices but they have a chance of exploding. has also probably electrocuted people

#txt #oc #oc: devin #ask #THIS WAS SO LONG HELP?#OOPS!

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smoosnoom · 1 year

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hi moon! u could drop ur grocery list instead of new fic and i’d still read it and praise u 🤍

and 3, 6, 23 for the ask game

3. what’s your favorite candle scent? - i don't actually ever use candles or many perfumes bc artificial scents give me a headache BUT i loveee citrusy scents !!!! very refreshing My hands smell like a tangerine rn

6. say three nice things about yourself (three physical and three non-physical). - alya 😐 why do u hate Me . um . um . i know how to peel oranges Very fast, i am OK at remembering things, and some people like my writing 🫡 done Now we move on and never talk abt this again

23. favorite piece of clothing? - ihave this Huge leather jacket that probably looks ridiculous on me but it is my absolute favorite thing rn !!!!

#thank u alya my skrugle #/ask #daily alya

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oldbaltimorebelle · 2 years

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Heya bee...I have this MASSIVE headache and I am. Tired. Broken. (One may say...toast?) And I just wanted to check up on you see how you were.

Hope things are good!

NOOO HEADACHE

okay. step 1) drink water

step 2) take advil

step 3) GET OFF UR PHONE

step 4) sleep or something idk

and ihave still not written a single sentence of thia fic im dying. need a solid storyline so here’s the idea

basil is taking an afternoon nap, rowan shakes him awake and asks him if they can paint each others nails. basil says yes. they finish that while making conversation about like. idk existentialism

then they flip through a family photo album (mostly them two and their grandma), and laugh about embarrassing photos

then rowan takes him out to a mexican place for food

cause sibling bonding time yk??????

they mostly are :D except i need to just Put Down Words

#omori #spelling bee writes #anon asks #writer anon

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patheticfrogarchive · 3 years

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anyway tw for me talking abt my asshole

ANYWAY update on my anxious breakdown re: my colon and asshole. my ass is bleeding like its BLEEDING for about a month now every 2-7 days ill go to either pee or poop, wipe, and then wipe again, and theres a tiny lil spot of blood. and i kNOW its not from my uterus bc 1) im not on my period every day of my life 2) i specifically like. pat my hole to see. like it was a TINY amount to begin with i mean i wouldnt even have noticed it if i wasnt specifically looking for it and it was always just one dot and thats it. never mixed in w my pee or poop that i could see, never randomly throughout the day, always jsut one lil dot

BUT OF COURSE im paranoid so i fucking ordered an at home lab test colon cancer screen so i shat in a box and mailed it in and SURPRISE they found no blood in my shit nothing wrong with me and youd THINK that combined w my 100% normal bloodwork would finally calm me down but NO im still worried

i dont actually know the human body anatomically but i remembver reading something that was like “ur colon is on ur left” so magically a few weeks ago i started feeling like. a vague ache/twinge/whatever in my left side like up near my chest and like of course i go “fuck its my colon im dying” even tho my dad was like “you stupid thats not where ur colon is”. amazing that i only started feeling something after expecting to feel soemthing

anyway my parents are convinced its a hemorrhoid and my mom has a LOT of experience with those so like, she would know. anyway yesterday my asshole like, felt itchy and bad and uncomf and i felt like there was something like... slipping out of it??? anyway my mom says thats a hemorrhoid and sure whatever but im still freaked out. anyway today at work i went to drop a turd and my ass bled that little dot and i was like ‘ok thats a little more than usual’ and i patted AGAIN and there was more blood. and more. and like, ok it wasn’t actually a lot like its not like i was bleeding out and it wasnt gushing or anything but compared to the previous times it was more, but also im finishing up my period so ??? but also i specifically only patted my butthole. and it happened every single time i went to the bathroom at work, even if i just pissed. and my asshole felt like, scraped raw and it was itchy and uncomf and i hated it.

so during my lunch break i called my doctor and made an appointment to get examined in like 2 weeks which. im obviuously GONNA do it bc while this is prob just a combo of shitty retail rough toilet paper, me rubbing too hard, and me giving myself a hemorrhoid by straining too hard a month ago, id rather be safe than sorry. but also i am NOT looking forward to having a FUCKING FINGER up my ASSHOLE i barely managed to get thru my first vaginal exam a few months ago idk how im gonna get thru a fucking finger up my goddamn ass

and also when i got home i was like ‘ok im gonna check my asshole in the mirror and its gonna bleed i bet but at least ill see it’ fufcking nothing. no bleeding, magically not itchy and raw anymore, i even got some toilet paper and rubbed at it but??? nothing??? and like idk what an asshole is supposed to feel like but everything seems completely normal lmfao. tho sometimes it feels like. not liek my ass is gonna fall out but like. like theres a tiny thing in my ass thats ABOUT to come out but when i go to try and poop it out nothing will come and i dont actually feel like i need to do a whole poop. its like somethings stuck in my hole but there isnt anything??? anyway that feeling comes and goes like i had it a month ago and then it went away afte rlike 3 days but its back now and ugh

anyway my current hypothesis is that its just shitty target sandpaper toilet paper ripping my asshole to shreds and also a hemorrhoid that i gave myself. but also i cant help but worry bc im fucking bleeding from my asshole and im terrified im gonna die at the ripe age of 23 of colon and/or asshole cancer.

i also have had like. not a headache not dizzyness but SLIGHT ever so slight like. lightheadedness? idk i feel off headwise so of course im like “oh my god im anemic bc im bleeding internally” even tho my bloodtests from like a month ago showed that if anything ihave MORE red blood cells compared to last time i got tested and im not in fact anemic. but also idk anything medical and so of course im like “BUT WHAT IF THINGS HAVE CHANGED” anyway in an ideal world i would probably be getting a blood test every week bc im fucking paranoid.

i have also been sleeping horribly due to anxiety lately so im prob just tired but bASICALLY IM STRESSED LMFAO

if anyone read all this. sorry.

#personal #alternatively if anyone read all this and can relate and is ok PLEASE let me know im stressed lmfao

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donerz0u9r-blog · 4 years

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fraudulence-paradox · 3 years

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01/31/2021

So this is sort of weird but, I found this box of old letters from my exes. Only from M---- and K----y. I’m not sure why I kept M----’s, but then, I was going to throw them out, but I just couldn’t. Maybe after this I’ll be able to. It’s so fucking stupid that I cant. It makes me mad. I’m just too nostalgic for the past. For the past me, not even for the past them. I just liked who I was better 4 years ago than I do now. But anyway. To maybe help me get rid of them, I wanted to document what they said here so they wouldn’t be totally lost no matter what happened.

M----’s letters were pretty sparse. The first is from when she first moved to FL when we were dating for the winter season to go do her horse stuff. The second is from that same stint in FL (we only dated for like 1.5 years) and basically says “I miss you, sorry the letter isn’t longer, but I’m busy”. So, yeah. Probably gonna toss those now.

The ones from K----y feel different. Different because we were so young and dumb and stupid and thought we were in love. And they just get sadder and sadder as they go on. I’ll put them all here, in chronological order, with dates if applicable, or my best guess:

Letter 1:

5/9/12 (that’s all it says)

[I wrote this so I wouldn’t forget our anniversary. It doesn’t really count, but I thought I’d include it.]

Letter 2:

circa September 2012

I know I’ve already told you this a hundred times, but a hundred times more you’ll have to hear it. You are the luckiest and greatest thing to ever happen to me. You’re just so perfect and amazing and smart and gorgeous that it’s still so hard to believe that you’re even mine. I love you. I love you and I’ll never stop. I will love you forever no matter what. For real though, every time I look at you it’s like I just completely want to be burst with how much love I have for you. And because of how cute and insanely gorgeous you are, but mostly from love. You really are extremely attractive though, and I don’t know if you believe me or see it or whatever but you really are. I still haven’t been able to pinpoint exactly what it is about you that makes you look that way, but I think it’s either your eyes or your smiles. You’ve got an absolutely flawless smile. That alone can just make me happier than anything. Same with your laugh. Like when you are laughing, really honestly laughing, its just, god, the most crazy awesomest thing I’ve ever heard. I actually can’t even begin to describe how happy it makes me. I love you. I never want to go back to what everything was like before I met you. Oh and apart from all this stuff, you’re like the first person I have met so far that actually looks beyond the surface. That is the one quality in a person that I had above all the others. (wow I’m starting to get ranty and repetitive). Well anyway, my point is you are completely irreplaceable to me. I’ll never stop being completely in love with you. You are my whole existence and I know that whatever happens, I’ll be fine as long as I have you.

With love, forever and always

-K----y

Letter 3:

circa January 2013?

So I just want to talk and talk and talk and never shut up because I’m just so stressed our right now you would never believe it. I’m not trying to worry you or anything. I just need to get something out before I burst.

I just actually can’t focus on anything right now I’m just like gah! And I have a headache and want to get up and wander around or something. I want to just get the fuck out like a seriously can’t handle this right now. It’s not even boredome it’s more of just, “oh my god I cant” like oppressive emptiness. No, not emptiness, more like nothingness? I don’t know how to explain it other than I just don’t want to sit around and listen to people talk. I think I want to be alone, but Ihave no idea and got theres nothing I can do but sit here and think about it. I want to go home but I don’t and seriously it’s just freakin me the fuck out. Oh my fuck I actually cant go home that wont help but I really don’t know what to do! Maybe I actually want to talk to people but no but yes. Too much energy. Can I just cry and break something? This is just way too much stress to be having on a Friday. I’m worrying so much about god knows what and holy hell I want to stop but I cant. I need to stop. Just stop. Stop stop stop stop stop stop. That’s a funny word like top but with an s. What am I even doing serioiusly. This is just totally freaking me out ugh. Sorry, I’m really not trying to get you worried. Seriously. I just need to throw everything up out of my head.

I think I should do something when I get home like I don’t know, something other than watch TV or homework or draw or read because that will stress me out more. I don’t know what even seriously maybe you could tell me a story? Why am I even asking that… but seriously, I kinda want that. And I could watch the history channel or something but I just want to watch a history documentary. That’s actually what I want to do. And eat something like pasta or maybe a taco. I can paint my toenails maybe.. and clean my shoes. No just kidding I don’t want to do that. Tell me more about, I don’t know, everything. Please? Okay actually I’m feeling a little bit better now, but I need to keep writing until this class is over to make sure…

So I just went up to the teacher for her to check some stuff. No idea why you’d care about that but I had to say it. Einsam apparently means lonely. But it’s an annoying word because it looks like an indefinite article when it’s actually an adjective, I think? Not that I got that wrong on my work, because I did know that before, I was just saying. This is too easy but I still hate adjective endings. Whatever, it has to be done. I’d rather do this than go to government. Okay, I’m actually a lot more relaxed now. Ignore the front side of this paper; I couldn’t find any other. It’s relative clauses if you’re wondering.

Now I’m kinda hungry for a burger. Like really hungry for one… I should be finishing my work though… but no, I can do it for homework. I like having German homework. It makes me feel like I’m actually learning something. It’s the only thing in school so far that I’ll actually use later in life, and is fun. There's five minutes left. I don’t use apostrophes… is that a bad thing? [transcriber’s note: oops, I’ve been adding them back in] I think maybe it is. I don’t know if I’ll do anything about it though.

Yeah okay I feel so much better now. I don’t know if you should worry anymore. Maybe a little but I’m sorta good.

Okay, I love you! Gotta go!

Letter 4:

Circa January 2013?

I swear I could never tell you enough just exactly how much I love you, how much you mean to me. It just makes me want to hold you tight and completely melt into you so I’d never have to leave your warmth and never ending kindness and love. You’ve just made me happy and feel so much better. It’s like just seeing you can make my worries go away and I know that I can face anything the day throws at me. You have no idea how much that means to me. And god, you’ve seriously made me feel just so much better about myself. The way you seem to see my flaws as perfection (even though you argue that I have no flaws) is just… I seriously can’t tell you how that’s helped me. I love you so much. You’re like heaven rent or something, really. I don’t even get how you can see any imperfections in yourself, because honestly, you’re like exactly how a person should be. You have all the good qualities a human could ever possess. If everyone were like you, this world would be such a better place. But everyone is not like you so that makes you the rarest treasure of all. And you’re mine. You’re my treasure. Because of that, I will always keep you close and value everything about you and everything we share. Forever, until the day I die, and much longer.

With all my love,

K----y

Letter 5:

Circa October 2013

I’m sorry. For everything. Do you want me to step out of your life forever? Because if that’s what you need, I’ll do it for you. Sorry I couldn’t say this out loud. I’ll just end up crying if I do. And I don’t want you to feel guilty about this. I’m terribly sorry that I’m not perfect for you. I did my best, but I fucked up (even if you won’t say it). You deserve a less clingy and a smarter girl to be with. It’s so hard to say this because whether you like it or not, I’m still very much in love with you. I’ll still do anything for you. This is just so hard though… harder for me than for you, I know. But no matter what you want, I’m not going to be happy for a long time. I can’t get over you that fast. You still mean the world to me. I’m not going to be looking for anyone else for a couple years. At least until college or whatever. But regardless, nobody will be able to replace you, and I don’t mean getting married and stuff. Just little things. But it’s okay. It really is. Sorry to be bothering you more. I know that you just want to move on. I just wanted to say that I love you one last time.

Letter 6:

Circa November 2013

[Written on the outside of the folded note]

Please at least read this before you throw this out.

[Content of the note]

Hey I know that you’re pissed off at me for some reason and you want me to cut off all communication with you, but honestly I just want the awkwardness to go away. It truly doesn’t have to be this awkward. I’m just trying to be polite with you. Yeah, I know, I’m not one hundred percent over you, but I’m doing the best I can. I’m not trying to get with you, or break you and C---- up. I know that there’s absolutely nothing I can do about the situation, so I’m just trying to wait the pain out. I’m not waiting for you. The only reason why I hang out with your friends is because I like them. I’m really not trying to seduce you. If it hurts you too much to see me (which I seriously doubt since you’ve made it very clear how you feel about me and you’re so over it) then you need to man up and just tell me. Talking to me won’t be leading me on. I have no idea what I did to you to make you hate me so much. I’ve apologized and apologized and I seriously meant it. Yeah, I slipped up about the texting thing, but that won’t happen again. I don’t know your motives and they’re none of my business anymore, but please just be polite to me. If you’re truly upset with me, just tell me why. I’m not angry with you, I just seriously have no clue why you’re acting like I ruined your entire life. So please don’t be mad at me for giving you this. I don’t even need an answer.

I just don’t give much of a shit anymore. I know you’re never coming back and I know you’re much happier with C---- than you ever were with me. And that makes me happy. So I don’t care that you never want to see me again. Just please know that you don’t need to keep dragging this out. I just want to be friendly with you. So yeah.

I’m not trying to make you mad or annoy you, I swear it. I just felt like you needed to know. For my own sanity, as selfish as that is.

-from you know who

#journal #love letters #breakup #break up #a sad story #told in letters #epistles #downward spiral #ex girlfriend #not over it #at least #wasnt for a while #exes #letters #shouldn't share

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