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kisslettrs · 3 years

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haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

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fluffi · 3 years

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AN INTERVIEW WITH EXES :: HEESEUNG

heeseung x gn!reader. angst, exes-to-friends!au. 1021 words. toxic relationship warning. credit to @by-moonflower.

the first installment of this untimed and unplanned series. be sure to check out @/by-moonflower’s skz and svt versions!

[how did you meet?]

heeseung: well, it was fate, i guess.

you: not really, now that this fever dream is over.

heeseung: if you could just put your petty feelings aside for a moment then we could do this freaking interview.

you: i didnt know i was going to have to do this with you. i wouldnt have shown up if i knew it was going to be between us.

heeseung:

[cut]

you: you were running out of your training building...

heeseung: and you were walking with your iced coffee. you know what happens next.

you: you didnt look at where you were going and bumped into me and my untouched ice coffee! i hadnt even taken a sip.

heeseung: it spilled all over my shirt. i was about to apologize but you and your courteous self decided to help me clean up and one impromptu date led to another one. before i knew it, you would wait for me outside the building every friday evening to hang out.

you: i wasted time out of my only free day to go shopping for new clothes with you, and then i wasted that same free day every evening to spend time with you, only for it to result in...nothing.

heeseung: you didnt waste your time back then.

you: maybe i didn’t last time, but now i have. i wasted months of time and money that i put into this failed relationship.

heeseung: im sorry

you: why are you only saying it now?

[why did you break up?]

you: i dont want to talk about it.

heeseung: i..was stupid back then.

you: i think its good that youre admitting that now. a few years later.

heeseung:

[cut]

heeseung: i was having a long day. i returned home to see you there, and i was happy, but-

you: theres always a but.

heeseung:

heeseung: i got scolded horribly that day, nothing was just going the way i wanted it to. and then i came back to see you so cheerful. you were excited and kept on clinging onto me. i dont know...i- i lashed out.

you: lashed out is an understatement. maybe i shouldnt have been excited to see you return that day. if i were sad, would we still be together right now?

heeseung: no. i hate to say it...we were, perhaps, never fated to work out.

you:

you: i need a moment.

[cut]

you: he lashed out at me and told me that i was annoying, unbearable, and so clingy. he described me as a leech. then, he-

heeseung: dont say it. please, dont.

you: ...he told me that we should’ve never been together. apparently i was the only thing keeping him from success back then.

you: i hope you’ve succeeded now. i hope youre happy without me. thats what you were looking for. happiness. i couldnt provide that for you.

heeseung: i dont know what was wrong with me. i ended up calling you, texting you, knocked on your door every night, expecting a response, even though i knew that i wasnt deserving of one.

you: ...and you didnt get it. i moved out on my own, made new friends. i lived my life the way i truly wanted to live it. i wasnt just your “leech” anymore, i was my own new person.

heeseung: im happy that youre free now. i truly am. i was toxic back then, wasnt i?

you: i didnt see it back then, but as time went on, i figured that we were both toxic, each in our own different way.

heeseung: i thought it was just me? i seriously dont think you did anything wrong.

you: maybe you were blinded by your major mistake that led to our downfall. perhaps, i really was too clingy.

heeseung:

heeseung: oh.

[when were you happiest together?]

heeseung: this is easy. the start of the relationship. puppy love does weird things to your heart.

you: honestly, i think everything flowed better when we werent seeing each other as much. i couldnt cling onto you, and you couldnt yell at me for clinging onto you.

heeseung: thats also true. everytime we stayed together for more than twenty-four hours, we ended up fighting. then it led to ignoring each other, then you wailing at three in the morning, then me consoling you and apologizing, and repeat.

you: you really didnt have to expose me like that.

heeseung: your wailing was kind of cute, not going to lie.

you:

[cut]

you: we really did better when we were busy doing our own things.

heeseung: the weekly meetups were enough for us. perhaps...more than enough. it felt like our dates were my hiatus from the real world.

you: yeah, to sum it up, our relationship was a fever dream, an escape from our real lives.

heeseung:

heeseung: yeah, you were my source of joy, until i felt like you overstepped your boundaries.

you: and you were my source of freedom, until you blocked me out from your life.

you:

you: are we finally agreeing on something?

[what was unique about your relationship?]

heeseung: so many things!

you: mmhm. our route of communication was nothing like what our friends had.

heeseung: everyone around us were always texting their significant others, telling them that they missed them, kisses through facetime, cheesy things that we never felt comfortable doing.

you: we were different. the only times we’d meet seemed to either be utopia or dystopia. there was no in between.

heeseung: i think we just didn’t match. maybe we weren’t like our friends because...we couldn’t be, maybe we didnt see each other in the same tunnel of affection.

[would you try again?]

you: from what we’ve said earlier...

heeseung: no.

you: oh, good! i thought you were going to say something else.

heeseung: i think it is obvious that we were never meant to be together. even our first encounter was a disaster.

you: wow, you really have to put it that way, dont you?

heeseung: i was just stating the truth! besides, we could always try again...platonically?

you:

you: i’d like that. i really would.

2021 © fluffi

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tickle-me-stoked · 6 years

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Sanders Sides - Happy Birthday, Roman

A/N: WHOOT what better way to start out on tumblr than with a bad fan fiction that’s probably my best, sad as it is. This is about Romans birthday, which was today, my sweet baby boi. Anyways, please enjoy if you can, I tried.

Word count: 2497

Summary: Roman feels alone on his big day; ‘cognitive distorntions’, or no. (wow I’m awful at summaries I’m so sorry)

Warnings: self-deprication, cognitive distortions, sadness, bad English and writing skillz.

If ive forgotten ANYTHING please lemme know!

I’ll definitely add a taglist if anyone wants to be in it! I love everyone, all of you are beautiful.

AAAHHHHH IM TERRIFIED PLS DONT KILL ME

——

Roman wiped his eye. Yes, he was crying. He could admit to that. But wouldn't you? He'd gone all day, sitting on the edge of his seat, waiting for whatever he had hoped the other sides had in store for him. He waited all day for anything, whether it be a celebration, a present, or something as simple as a hug.

He didn't. Nothing happened today. From the moment the clock struck midnight last night, to now, where midnight was right around the corner, he waited. He was silent about it. He hadn't wanted to speak up or ask in fear of ruining something. Maybe it was surprise, so if he asked about it, surely Patton would break or something else would give it away. He didn't want to take that risk. But now, he sees that maybe...

Maybe he had nothing to loose.

It was his birthday. And here he was; sitting alone, crying, lost in his thoughts of whether or not he was truly loved, whether he actually meant something.

He wiped his eyes again. Teeth clenched, he went and pulled on his hair. He couldn't sob. Crying... crying was fine... right? But a sob would disturb the others. He wouldn't mind if someone, preferably Patton, came down and found him. If it was out of pity... he'd take it. At least with pity, they still cared enough to acknowledge him. Whereas silence just said that they didn't care. At all.

A happy birthday. He'd gotten words, a simple 'happy birthday' from the other three sides. But after that, it was as if nothing was different. Was a birthday not a celebration? Was a birthday not important? Had this day not happened, Roman wouldn't be here. Everything would be different.

But instead, everything is exactly the same. Nothing changed. The only difference is the love he feels. The love that is slipping away, as if it was never there to begin with. He loved his friends, loved them, but they obviously didn't feel the same. Clearly, he didn't mean as much to them as they did to him.

But that was okay.... Or it should be. It is, but it hurts too much to feel right. He'll still take care of his friends, he'll always be there for him. But they won't be there for him. Is that fair? Is that right?

Roman ran his hands over his face. His hands came back drenched in tears. He stared at the water as it ran down his palms.

What now? Does he just act as if this never happened? Should he say something about all this? He wouldn't want to be a disturbance... but...

Who was he kidding? That's the exact reason they don't like him, isn't it? He can't just go ahead and make things worse. Then he'd truly be outcasted.

Whatever. If they don't care that-that's fine. He'll get over it. He has to.

Roman sniffed once, then rose to his feet. He hesitated, wondering if he had the strength to walk the stairs, then pushed forward anyways, knowing his bed was up there.

Before he could make it passed the coffee table, he heard his name.

“Roman!” He looked up and found Patton barreling down the stairs. He slammed into him, wrapping him up in a hug which, surprisingly, took Roman off the ground. “Oh, sweetheart!” Patton placed him down and backed up to look him in the eyes. “Oh, were you crying? What’s the matter, Ro? What’s wrong?” Roman quickly threw his arm up to wipe away the tears. Now that the moment struck, he was twice as sure he shouldn’t lay his problems out. But having Patton here, staring at him with those big, worry-filled eyes, it practically pulled the words out of him.

“I-I’m sorry, Patton. I didn’t want to be a burden, um-“

“No!” Patton yelled. Roman stared in shock. He’d barely gotten to say anything, now Patton was what, mad? Roman figures he’d have every right to be upset, but he hadn’t even said anything yet. “I will not have you insult yourself like that.” Hold on. What? Patton was mad because... Roman thought of himself as a burden. That was very Patton-like, but that was the reaction he often gave to Virgil. He never seemed so upset when he’d said it before. Now, he was practically fuming. The rage in his eyes — what was going on? “This is your day, dedicated completely and entirely to you! On this day is the day where you, Roman, our faithful prince and trustworthy hero, are the world. You’re the center if the universe today, Roman. Everyday actually, but especially today! You have no right to say that about yourself.” Roman couldn’t believe it.

He was crying again. Why was he crying? Because Patton hated him? No. Because Patton was mad at him? Yes. But the reason behind Patton’s anger was that he loved him. Patton was upset that Roman had thought so little of himself. Why should he feel that way? All of the amazing people in his life, people who hardly had the potential to hate to begin with. They loved him. Patton proved it.

Or at least... Patton loved him. The others, Logan and Virgil, did they? Or were they gonna yell at him later. Were they going to yell at him for crying about his birthday? Were they going to yell at him because he’d upset Patton.

Oh no, he upset Patton. What had he done? This was exactly why they shouldn’t care. He hurt their beloved Patton. Nothing can make up for that.

Except for this. A hug. Patton pulled him into another hug. He held him tight, but comfortably so. Slowly, Roman let himself fall into the security of Patton’s embrace. He rested his head on his shoulder and held on tight right back.

“Everything and anything you feel is valid. Never assume we won’t want to help you in any way we can. It’s the least we can do for everything you’ve done for us.” Romans eyes shot open, his muscles tensing. He threw himself back from Patton’s and stared into his eyes, searching for any signs of lies or miscommunication.

“What could I have possibly done?” He wonders in awe. Patton smiled softly. He slowly reinitiates the hug, holding gently to Romans frame.

“For one, you’re a great hugger.” He mumbled. Roman couldn’t help the scoff that escaped his lips as he returned the gesture contently. “But you always had this spark.” A spark? “Whenever you’re passion shines through, which is a lot more than you would think,” he said with a laugh. “It makes us smile. We can see how happy you truly are, the genuine emotion in your eyes as you speak. It makes us so happy!” Roman moves his eyes downward and smiled. Did they all think that? Did they actually think that his passion was endearing? “You always make sure we’ve got a smile in our face. Whenever one of us feels down, you work your absolute hardest to turn that frown upside down. And it always works!” Thinking about it, he doesn’t recall a moment where it had failed. Everyone has their bad days, but he was always able to get a smile from them, even at their worst. “You’re silly, rambunctious, energetic, and pure sunshine.” Roman, although his smile didn’t dissipate, sighed sadly.

“You’re talking about yourself, Pat...” Patton softly shook his head, his body swaying along.

“I don’t think I am. Ro, you wear the brightest of smiles, you have the strongest of hearts, (have I mentioned great hugs?) and the most love to give. Without you, Roman...” Roman could feel the smile drop from Patton’s lips, causing his own to fall. “I don’t know where we’d be...” Roman backed up. He looked calmly at Patton. He took note of every detail on his face. Physical, and the meaning behind them. How his small smile lit up his hoping eyes. How his cheeks had little dimples and a flooring of freckles beneath the pink tint of his precious face.

“Patton...” What can he say? Everything that Patton said hit him hard. He hadn’t believed any of that in what felt like years. Patton’s choice of words couldn’t have been more perfect. No set of words coming from any other mouth could’ve made him feel more alive than his beautiful Patton’s. Birthday forgotten, Roman spoke what the only words he was able to think of. “Thank you.” Patton’s little giggle warmed his heart.

“You don't need to thank me, Roman. Everyone knows the kind of star you are. And you are the brightest one in the sky.” Roman raised an eyebrow. Brightest in the sky?

“Are you sure you’re not talking about the moon?” Patton laughed wholeheartedly, earning his own from Roman. He returned into the hug, for yet another short moment.

“If that makes you feel better, then yes.”

“Anything from you is perfect, my dearest Patton.” Patton giggled again.

“There’s another one. All the cleverly thought out nicknames you give us.”

“Oh, come on, that one could’ve been better. It’d help if I wasn’t so tongue-tied thanks to you.”

“Are you complaining?”

“In a way, I suppose.“ Patton poked his pouted lip and the two shared a laugh again.

“Anyway, we should get to bed, huh?” Roman frowned slightly. After all this, finally beginning to feel better, they had to part.

“I uh,” However, he knew what Patton had said. And of course, he trusted him completely, but a small part of his mind warned him to not overstep his boundaries, in case he did become too much. “I guess. Yeah.” Patton could sense the unease in his voice. The little smile said it all. He took Romans hand and lead him calmly up the stairs.

Although, Roman raised an eyebrow as Patton reached for his door. Why was he going into his room? Why not his own? Does he want to tuck him in or something fatherly like that?

The moment Patton walked into the door, Roman right behind him, the lights flicked on.

Inside the room was the most miraculous sight his eyes had ever seen.

Balloons littered the floor and the ceiling. There were streamers perfectly parted at the ceiling light and attaching back by the walls. The light itself was tinted. Not a specific colour, but with glitter, making the room seem to sparkle. A large cake sat with candles — many candles — on top. The cake itself was huge. It was like a wedding cake, but for a birthday. Around it was an array of different beverages and candies. Of course, there was a palate of veggies too, seeing as how no one could resist those. Then there were the two large speakers on either side of his bed, tall enough to match the height of his bed posts. But the best part was Logan and Virgil.

The two of them had party hats on their heads. They stood in the center of the room, underneath a banner that was hand-painted to say ‘Happy Birthday, Roman’. He could tell by the print who wrote what and who drew what. Logan and Virgil both had genuine smiles on their faces after they had shouted ‘surprise’.

There was a surprise party. He hadn’t ruined anything? All this time, he thought he’d messed everything up, destroyed everything he thought he had. And why? Because he hadn’t gotten a party? These foolish, stupid ideas had invaded his mind so much that he couldn’t see the love in his friends eyes.

But these boys, these three beautiful men, had done the most wonderful thing and thrown him an entire surprise party. He could see the piling up if presents behind the left brained sides.

He hadn’t noticed his tears until he felt his legs give way. Patton had barely managed to catch him, but did as they settled softly on the ground. He blinked the tears down his cheeks and saw the other two racing over.

“Roman!” They cried. All of them had their hands on him, for reassurance and support and comfort. He wanted to hug them all, but his arms weren’t long enough. He settled on stealing himself and went to wipe his eyes, soaking his hands once again.

“Sorry! Sorry!” He spilled out with a small laugh. He sniffled, and smiled at the others.

“Ro, are you okay?” Virgil asked in a semi-panic. Roman nodded his head calmly and wiped some more tears.

“I’m great, Virge. It’s all thanks to you.” Virgil took a double take. Logan as well.

“So these were... ‘tears of joy’?” He wondered. He seemed almost afraid of assuming incorrectly. But Roman simply nodded again.

“Yes, I’m sorry for being such a mess, especially so consistently around you, Patton.” This time, Patton let him speak. Earlier he had stopped the bout of self-deprication and filled the blanks with compliments. He must’ve known that now it would lead into the source of the problems. “I guess I just got lost in the idea that... that it was selfish to want a birthday and that that was a reason toward why you’d hate me.” At the silence of the others, he conintued. “I know, it was stupid, but it all just made me realize how lucky I truly am. What was selfish was thinking so illy of you three... and I’m sorry for that.”

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Patton assured.

“It is completely understandable that lack of attention on such a special and momentous occasion would draw unpleasant thought processes to oneself. For that, we owe you an apology.”

“Yeah, we’re really sorry,” Virgil agreed. He and Logan had their heads ducked, looking guilty and depressed. “It was kind of our fault, to be honest. Lo and I just wanted things to be.. a little too perfect and... took longer than necessary.”

“Don’t bring yourselves down because of me.” Roman backfired. Honestly, with all the blaming, Roman found himself with an urge to laugh. “Because it was a surprise, I can see the kind of stress that would promote. That can be a lot resting on your shoulders. If anything, you two would be the most suitable for perfection.” This time he did laugh, mainly in hopes that they wouldn’t take offense, seeing as that was not his goal. They shared a glance at one another, and both shrugged, feeling awkward, yet knowing it was the truth. “But this... this is perfect. Thank you.” He pulled Patton into his left and Logan into his right, then dropped his head to rest against Virgil’s, whose hands held the formers mentioned.

“Don’t get tears on my pants, Princey.” The four laughed. Roman could barely recall any of the invasive thoughts he’d been having before. Just being in the mere presence of the ones he loves so much takes the pain away.

#roman sanders #patton sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #birthday #sanders sides #fanfic #fanfiction #angst #happy ending

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