rotten-dog-teeth

[rotten-dog-teeth]

OH OH OH FUN FACT TIME!!

So, the reason you get this inexplicable urge to squeeze something/someone you find particularly cute or one you love very much is because the human brain is very simple and will always try to take the easiest way out of a situation (which is also why you have a little metaphorical voice in the back of your head telling you to jump when on a high place, because your brain sees it as the easiest way out of that situation). And when you feel emotions that strong, the brain sees it as unnatural, and therefore decides that the thing/person causing it must be dangerous, and so its natural response is to tell you to squeeze it as hard as you can to kill it. Squeeze the life our of it. So yeah, humans are wack /lh /gen

God I fucking hate Olaf the snowman so fucking much holy shit. Holy shit, every frame he's in, every scene, every gif, every jpeg, he's got this painfully vacant, stupid as shit, fuckass look on his stupid lumpy face. Absolutely no part of his ugly as sin piece of shit character design is endearing. His stupid fucking legs? Who the hell makes a snowman with legs. His dumb flaily fucking twig arms? His shitty, lumpy bastard head? The three thousand percent unnecessary dumbass shitass fucking SNOW BUCK TOOTH that no snowman has EVER FUCKING HAD IN tHE HISTORY OF GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH? God, I hate him. I hate him so much. So FUCKING much. Every time I see a stuffed toy Olaf or an Olaf gif or a shitty goddamn commercial, it ignites my primal rage response and I'm overcome by the need to punt this shitty little homunculus into the fucking sun. "Bhurr blur, I'm Olaf the fuckshit snow fucker, I like warm hugs". Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. You look like Tow Mater summoned a patronus. Your dumb fucking twig hair makes your whole shitty head look like a hairy skin tag. I hate your dumb fucking lumpy carrot nose and your stupid, empty googly eyes and your over-the-top goofy ass upbeat asshole personality. Any scene he's sad it invokes all the wrath and fury of a spoiled child having a meltdown over a chocolate bar in a w*lmart checkout line. And I know its irrational. That's the worst part. I know he's just a shitty fucking side character in a stupid fucking children's movie, I know it doesn't matter, I know I shouldn't care. But that's part of the problem. The part where no matter the might and fury of my hatred, the locus of my homicidal intent is alltogether inconsequential. I find myself laying awake in the dark in the early hours of the morning consumed by the spirit of Wrath itself, all the force and might of a flaming hurricane directed at a bottle of piss in a ditch by the highway. The absurdity of it all burns me to my core. What better things could this energy be directed towards? And yet my disdain for this stupid, useless, insubstantial failure of endearing character design utterly eclipses the intrigue of all other pursuits. I hate him. I hate him on a level of my mind reserved for the worst of the world's array of sinners, and I can't even begin to justify it. Shitstick the snow dick is, for all intents and purposes, the animated corpse of all of humanity's saccharine pretenses- every condescending, passive-aggressive statement of meaningless upper middle class suburban drama distilled into a single, hateable form. The fucking. Fuck. I have no words. There is no cuss or epithet in any language that can encapsulate the height of the emotions I am experiencing. God, I hate him so much. I hate him so, so fucking much. I want to light his ugly little dumpster body on fire. I want to graphically beat him to death with his own stupid fucking nose. I want to punch him to death. You know that weird feeling you get, when you see a picture of something so cute you find yourself overcome with the bizarre, inexplicable urge to squeeze it? It's EXACTLY like that, except instead of cuteness it's disgust. The wordless knowledge that his existence as a fictional work is evidence of all the failures of mankind. I find myself possessed by the will of a Holy Angel gone rogue with the belief that God has made a mistake, and I alone must correct it. This is the trial by which Samael himself fell from grace. This wild, meaningless rage. A thousand blades of shining steel cast with inhuman force in the direction of a plastic grocery bag floating on a breeze. What horrors must I have committed in a past life to be plagued by this torment now? I must Unmake this fictional snowman

#hellsite hall of fame #fun facts #olaf #frozen #olaf frozen #olaf the snowman #cw: implied murder #cw: violence #cw: caps #cw: implied suicide

[rotten-dog-teeth]

Valentino's ready for Halloween with her tissue ghost costume! She made it himself :).

#🌱 valentino #tortoise #horsefield tortoise #halloween #ghost #sheet ghost #cryptidcore #gremlincore

[rotten-dog-teeth]

reverse monsterfucker in the sense that i dont want to fuck monsters but rather i have to cling to the hope that someday a kind woman will see something worth loving in me and show me affection even though i'm an unlovable monstrous creature living at the fringes of society yfm

#cryptidcore #love

[rotten-dog-teeth]

I need to be eviscerated by the one(s) I love most under the stars where the trees and fungi can eat my remains and flourish from my bones.

#🌱 speaks #love #viscera #evisceration #cw: gore #cw: death #cw: violence #cw: body horror

[rotten-dog-teeth]

You ever look at those really old, derelict buildings that have been falling apart for a long time, and have holes everywhere in the roof, with plants growing in the walls and the windows smashed in and just think "That's home." ? Yeah

#🌱 speaks #home #cryptidcore #gremlincore

[rotten-dog-teeth]

Do you ever see so much beauty and love that it makes you feel violently emotional inside?

#🌱 speaks #beauty #love

[rotten-dog-teeth]

Thinking about Laika/Кудрявка </3

#🌱 speaks #laika #laika the space dog #Кудрявка #Кудрявка собака #лайка #лайка собака

[rotten-dog-teeth]

Love is looking through someone's cook book and finding the page that's half-creased, ripped at the edges, covered in food splatters and dented by cup rings, because that's the recipe they always make for the person they hold dear.

Love is finding someone's book that is faded, dog-eared, battered and falling apart from being carted around everywhere and constantly worn by fingers flowing through the pages, because they saw that book and saw the person they hold dear hidden amongst the words within it, and so they have taken it everywhere with them since to have that person with them and to show them every time they meet just how they love them.

Love is holding someone's blanket that is full of holes, fraying at the seams, a bit singed here and there, thinned with years of being gripped and tugged, because that's the blanket that they once used to hold the one they held dear in, and now they were the one being held.

Love is seeing someone's picture frame hung by the stairs - the paper old and yellowed, waterstains at the top from when the cieling leaked over it, the wooden edges of the frame sparsely glued together, dust lining the edges and the pressed flowers inside cradling gentle shades of brown within their petals, because that's the picture that the person they hold dear to them made for them years ago, and it has been a part of their home every year that they've had it.

Love is searching through someone's box full of crinkled, creased and folded bits of paper, each adorned with doodles, little messages, conversations and notes from the person they hold dear that they've accumulated and held on to over the years.

Love is the things that are worn and falling apart with years of care and affection <3.

#🌱 writes #🌱 speaks #love #care #affection #family #friends #qpr

[rotten-dog-teeth]

The last 1.5 - 2 years

Everyone gets a lump of clay when they're born, and that is everything that makes them a person: their name, gender, style, taste in music, hobbies, likes, dislikes, motivations, aspirations, opinions, etc

As they grow, they shape and mould that piece of clay

Then around late 2020/early 2021, I began to spiral into my paranoia, anxiety, depression, and so many other mental health issues, and essentially had what I can only describe as a mental breakdown

It was like my clay went dry and unmouldable

I thought of what I would do with my clay once I was able to dampen it again

But that took a long time

Eventually, I had my depressive episode, probably after my brain killing itself from exhaustion from the mental breakdown and everything that came with it. It was exhausting after all.

When that happened, it was like my piece of clay began to fall apart

Now, it was completely normal for pieces of people's clay to fall off, such as during an identity crisis, or a big change in their life, etc, and they would just work to re-attach it

But my pieces wouldn't go back on

And I started to lose track of my pieces

Until eventually, after maybe... 5 months?

I had nothing left

My clay was gone, as if faded away, or taken away from me piece by piece

I had lost everything. I didn't feel like a person anymore - I wasn't a person anymore.

I had lost everything that made me a person. No name, no identity, no motivation, no reason for anything

Even my ability to function on a basic human level, like brushing my teeth, showering, eating, drinking, sleeping, getting dressed, etc

Gone

I felt like nothing. I felt nothing. Just empty. I was empty and felt empty.

And I have been spending the last 1.5 - 2 years trying to build myself back up

But I've only been getting tiny pieces at a time

Everyone's clay is roughly 10cm in diameter

Mine is currently 6cm at the very best, but that's probably pushing it a little

And I can't get myself to mould it in a way that feels right

I don't know what to do

I've never had to start from the beginning before

And I mean, I know what my lump of clay used to look like before it fell apart, but even before it fell apart, it was cracked and chipped, having been dry and hard for over a year

And it feels wrong to just... continue

I'm not great with change, sure, but that's not why it feels so wrong I don't think

I think it feels wrong because your clay changes shape as you grow, so to have just skipped a large portion of time in which it would have developed just feels wrong

I feel like I have this pathological need to mould my clay to be exactly as it was before it cracked and began to fall apart, so that I can do all the stuff and change it as I planned to when I couldn't do anything with it

And then... I can change, and grow, and continue on in my life

But I don't have enough clay yet

And I'm not that person anymore

Or at least not entirely, or not in the same way

So I can't recreate what my clay once looked like, and even if I could, it wouldn't feel like it was exactly as it was...

Because it wasn't what I felt like I wanted it to look like anymore

But I couldn't change it because I hadn't developed it yet

And people have said things about how odd it is, and how I've probably just misplaced my clay, and how I should mould my clay, as if they know me better than I know myself, and they feel like it's their job to mould my clay for me

But this just stresses me out and upsets me further

Because not only can I not mould my clay, but other people are trying to take it away from me again so that they can make it their own

But it's my clay

And it hurts so bad for people to try to take it away or mould it for me

In a way that is so viscerally distressing and upsetting that it just makes me want to break down and cry all over again

I'm trying to mould my clay to look how I want it to, but honestly, I don't really know what that looks like right now

And usually when that happens, I just leave my clay be for a little bit while I think about it and figure it out

But I don't have anything to leave be, so I have nothing to go off of.

I think it's going to be a long time until my clay looks right. It'll take years to mould it back up and be happy with it, and even then, there'll always be this little bit of it that I just can never get right, because I know that it's not what it was meant to be

But I don't know what to do or how

#🌱 speaks #🌱 writes #viscera #for therapy

[rotten-dog-teeth]

There is no shame or embarrassment in being reliant on your parents/caretakers/caregivers. I am heavily reliant on my mum, and will confidently say that I would not be able to function, let alone live a fulfilling life, without her help. I am not embarrassed about that. There is no shame in needing help, assistance, support, etc, and certainly not from parents/caretakers/caregivers.

I love you people who need a little bit of help, I love you people who need occasional help, I love you people who need regular help, I love you people who need a lot of help, I love you people who need help sometimes, I love you people who need help all the time, I love you and you deserve to be loved. <3

#🌱 speaks #neurodivergent #neurodivergence #mental illness #mentally ill #disability #disabled #chronic illness #chronically ill #<- I'm not disabled or chronically ill #but they are included in this #this applies to pretty much everyone

[rotten-dog-teeth]

Fuck toxic masculinity, I hope all men who are bottoms have a very good evening.

#🌱 speaks #cw: swearing #cw: suggestive

[rotten-dog-teeth]

I'm absolutely brainrotting over how horrific humans are

• We are not bipedal. We are quadrupedal. We forced our bodies out of shape just for the sake of going against god. Our legs are bent out of shape, our hip joints have been forced outwards at unusual angles, our spines - necks and backs - have been contorted into flimsey spring-like structures to support our poorly distributed amalgamation of flesh and bone, pur extremities have been elongated, compressed and re-framed to fit our new whims.

• We manipulated everything. Will said in that episode about the woman abducting yhe kids to try to make a family that as a survival instict, we have to bond with our captors otherwise we're breakfast. That's what we did to literally fucking everything. Animals are naturally scared of us. We think that animals are scared because they are ignorant, but they are scared because they are smarter than us because they see us for what we really are: abominations and monsters. They either get docile and cozy with us to become our companions so we dont kill them or they try to avoid us or hell even fight us but if they havent been domesticated then they're fucking dead meat. And cozying up to us is not a sure fire way of survival. We pick and choose who we domesticate. Dogs and cats, yeah. Rats and pigeons, we kill them or at the very least banish them. And even being domesticated is not a sure fire way of survival. We forcibly change their biology to be dependent on us and then routinely abuse or neglect them, or pit them against eachother, or ignore them, or "accidentally" let them loose to take another domestic's life. We are manipulators. We don't train animals, we manipulate them. We trick them into thinking we're safe, and don't let them realise until it's too late. Humans aren't the top of the foodchain. We're not the apex predator. We're humans. We're fucking horrors. And nothing we could ever come up with in any book, film, show, etc could ever come close to the horrific god-killing creation that is a human "being".

• We have such a comprehensive specrum and magnitude scale of emotion that our brains try to self-destruct to quell it. We feel too much love or care? Our instict is to crush/squeeze it to death. We feel too sad? Our instict is to tear ourselves apart piece by piece or just outright blunt force ourselves into peace.

• We are so fucked up that our brains actively come up with ways to supress, control or just outright kill us. On a high place? Our instict is to jump. See something sharp or hot? Our instict is to grab/touch it. Our brains fabricate fake threats to scare us into submission - phobias, anxiety, etc.

• Our bodies are so viscerally unnatural that we are alienated from every other living thing that we know of. Not one creature has a remotely similar body to us. Our joints are bent in freakish ways, we move unlike any other thing to exist, we communicate in a million different ways in a noise that nothing else can make. We are fucking disgusting.

• Our bodies try to self-destruct to prevent us from continuing to exist. We cannot successfully give birth most of the time without lots of medical help or even being fully split open and physically separated from the foetus by other humans due to our hip to head size ratio. We are the only creature capable of choking because of the development of speech.

#🌱 speaks #horrifying humans #humans are space orcs #cryptidcore #chaoscore #cw: implied suicide #cw: implied self harm #cw: swearing #cw: death mention #cw: anxiety mention #cw: birth mention #cw: abuse mention #cw: manipulation mention #cw: neglect mention #cw: murder mention #I have never had so many content warnings #on a post before

[rotten-dog-teeth]

Yeah, uh, due to listener feedback, I'm going to have to rend the flesh off your bones

#🌱 jests #idk what this is #i just had a random thought and figured hey #why not add it to the list of atrocities that is my tumblr blog #cw: implied violence #cw: gore

[rotten-dog-teeth]

I’m looking through my liked posts from yesterday, because there was a fic that I saw and can’t remember the title of, and I genuinely don’t remember half of the posts on there. I was literally half asleep and only remember seeing half of what was on there lmao. /gen

#🌱 speaks #late night tumblr

[rotten-dog-teeth]

Fuck capitalism, fuck forcing people into psychological competitions, fuck society for ingraining in us that we have to be perfect, we have to be exceptional, we have to be better than others, or else we're useless and worthless and boring and not worthy of love or affection.

I just had to talk to my grandma about this, and she found it so fucking absurd, and she's right, it is. So, everyone listen to my grandma when she says:

"What you do should be because you want to and be for you. Not for others. It doesn't matter if it takes you six (6) months, two (2) years, three (3)... What matters is that you're happy."

#🌱 speaks #cw: swearing #rant #vent

[rotten-dog-teeth]

In trying to find something I saw ages ago, I have realised just how much time I have spent on Tumblr. Wow. /g

#🌱 speaks

[rotten-dog-teeth]

And as the carrion corvidae continue to pick at my stubborn, stagnant carcass,

I will continue to welcome the hot stabs of their cold-toothed knicks,

Just as the sailor welcomes the cold embrace of the ocean's sunless depths,

And the grave-digger welcomes the eventual craddling of the cakey dirt,

In the ground upon which they once planted their feet, they will soon sprout plants once more.

And as they sing their songs of death's angels, harking the passing of another,

I shall harmonise with them in the gentle release of my final breaths.

#🌱 writes #cw: death #poem #poetry #cw: minor religious themes #(?)