rodanhoax

[rodanhoax]

Ruby: Was it good for you?~

Jaune: I can't feel below my waist.

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #ruby rose #lancaster

[rodanhoax]

Ruby: What? The two us alone for a long stretch of time, something's definitely gonna happen.

Jaune: Ruby, I assure you, I would never do something like that to you.

Ruby: Who said you'd be the one to initiate it?

Jaune: ...

Nora: ... You go girl.

Nora: If you went on an adventure with only Jaune, what would happen?

Ruby: I'd come back pregnant.

Jaune: You'd what!?

#rwby #rwby shitpost #nora valkyrie #ruby rose #jaune arc #lancaster

[rodanhoax]

Nora: *In detention for Nora-related shenanigans* ...

Jaune: *Also in detention for Nora-related shenanigans* ...

Nora: Last night, I dreamed I was a bottle of ketchup. And you were mustard.

Jaune: ?...

Nora: Which is weird because usually you're mayonnaise in my dreams. Why do you suppose that is?

Jaune: 🤨

#rwby #nora valkyrie #jaune arc #chowder

[rodanhoax]

Ozpin: *Hands newborn to Summer* Ms. Rose, is there someone you want to cut the cord?

Summer: H-Her daddy.

Qrow: But Tai's not back yet.

Summer: Qrow, Tai had a vasectomy after Yang. Come here.

Qrow: What are you saying woman?

Summer: This baby's yours.

Qrow: I still don't understand.

Summer: Qrow, we had sex and you knocked me up.

Qrow: Slow down, slow down!

Summer: This baby is your hatchling.

Qrow: Aww!

Qrow: ... Wait a minute. What do you mean?

Summer: You're a daddy!

Qrow: From when?

Summer: Sometimes, the one you slept with 9 months ago was right in front of you all along.

Qrow: Aw Short-Stack. Gimme that cord. *Pulls out scythe*

#rwby #summer rose #qrow branwen #ozpin #hummingbird #bobs burgers #bob's burgers

[rodanhoax]

Jaune: Hey Neo, mind if I get some of your popcorn?

Neo: *Smiles at him and holds up her scroll* Go right ahead. Get yourself a good handful~

Jaune: *Reaches into popcorn, but feels something odd* Oh ha ha. Real funny Neo. This a hotdog or som- *Grabs hold of it*

Neo:

Jaune: ...

#rwby #rwby shitpost #jaune arc #neo politan #silent knight

[rodanhoax]

Wolf Ruby: *Whispering* Do you hear that, Jaune?

Jaune: No, is it a grimm?

Ruby: No, it's just the sound of my undying love for you. *licks Jaune's face*

Jaune: ???

#rwby #rwby shitpost #lancaster #jaune arc #ruby rose #wolf!faunus ruby

[rodanhoax]

100 posts!

#100 posts #tumblr milestone

[rodanhoax]

Oscar: So there's no way to prevent us from merging?

Ozpin: I'm afraid so. After all my time between hosts, I've just about given up finding a way to separate my soul from another before the merge.

Oscar: *Sadly looks down* Oh...

Ozpin: Brighten up Oscar. Let's focus on the new friends you'll be traveling with.

Oscar: I guess... Who's that?

Ozpin: That's Mr. Jaune Arc. A young man of similar farmland origins as yourself I believe.

Oscar: *Blushes* Wow... That guy has some nice, strong arms.

Ozpin: ... On second thought.

#rwby #family guy #oscar pines #ozpin #professor ozpin #jaune arc #pine gold

[rodanhoax]

Ruby: Uncle Qrow, if you die, do you want to be buried or cremated? Like, if you were hit by a bus today, what do I do?

Qrow: Go after the bus driver and make him pay for what he did to me. Avenge me, Ruby. Avenge me!

#rwby #ruby rose #qrow branwen #ted lasso

[rodanhoax]

Jaune + Ruby: *Resting in the shade*

Nora: *Racing towards them* JAUNE! RUBY!

Jaune: Huh?

Ruby: So loud. It's way too hot for your craziness, Nora.

Nora: Ren's getting hit on!

JNR: *Running through the streets at top speed*

Jaune: Formation B!

NR: Roger!

Ren: *Talking to a girl*

NR: Renny!

Ruby: *Latches onto him* Who is that woman?! Have you forgotten the night you toasted to my eyes?! That night!?

Nora: *Also latches onto him* Was it all a lie when you said your time with me was the most enjoyable of all?!

Ren: ... What?

Jaune: Could you not touch him so casually, please... YOU HOMEWRECKERS?!

Ren: ?

Jaune: Renny has guitar practice with me now. Let's go home, Renny. Today, I'll have you "Master Twinkle Twinkle Little Star~." *Wink*

Ren: *Turns to the girl* Please, don't mind them. Keep going straight ahead and you'll reach the station.

Random Girl: Thank you so much. *Bows before leaving*

JNR: Huh?

Ren: Alright, seriously, what was that? Could you guys not, please? You're embarrassing me.

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #nora valkyrie #lie ren #renora #red lotus #lotus petals #martial arcs #jujutsu kaisen

[rodanhoax]

Blake: So... Who tops?

Ruby/Weiss: Me.

Blake: ?

R/W: ... Weiss/Ruby

Blake: ??

R/W: ... Jaune

Blake: ???

#rwby #ruby rose #weiss schnee #blake belladonna #jaune arc #white rose #lancaster #white knight #war of the roses

[rodanhoax]

Yang: Did you have sex in our dorm?

Blake: ...

Weiss: Ugh, seriously? Where?

Blake: ...

Weiss: Where?

Blake: ...

Weiss: ... W-Where Blake?

Blake: ... Seems like you already know where.

Weiss: *Covers her mouth in disbelief*

#rwby #weiss schnee #blake bellodona #yang xiao long #the office

[rodanhoax]

2 dudes high fiving one another while taking a dump in public

"Last one."

#rorschach

[rodanhoax]

Hm... What about a double lancaster? Jaune x (female)Ruby and (male)Ruby

(wanted to try an outlandish one and came up with this)

Are these twins Rubes? Is one Ruby from a parallel world?

Might as well do the inverse, right?

A whole mess of'em

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #lancaster #rwby lancaster

[rodanhoax]

Ruby: *Hand smacks nothing but air*

Ruby: Wha? B-But how? *Feels an intense presence behind her*

Jaune: Oh, sweet, naïve Ruby...

Jaune: *Raises an aura enhanced hand* Dat ass compels me with power beyond your comprehension.

Ruby: *Walking down a path* Ooh, look at those pretty flowers. *bends over to pick them*

Jaune: ...

Ruby: *Wearing a skirt that's a bit too small, giving Jaune a great view of the Rubooty.*

Jaune: *thinking* Must not slap Ruby's butt.

Ruby: *sways a bit from side to side, giving her butt a nice little jiggle*

Jaune: Please forgive me Ruby. *Raises hand* Becaus I know Yang won't.

SMACK!!!

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #lancaster #rwby shitpost

[rodanhoax]

Jaune: Ruby, it's alright. Your... assets simply lie elsewhere.

Ruby: Oh yeah? Where?! *Hits table in frustration, causing a plate of cookies to fall over*

Ruby: Ah nuts! *Quickly turns and bends over to pick them up*

Jaune: 😳

*Thump!*

Yang: Hm? Did you just bump the table with your leg?

Jaune: You could say that, yes.

The Bigger Win

Yang: Ha! I win~!

Ruby: Grrrr! So what I have small boobs! Jaune doesn’t like me because I have a big boobs; He likes me for my adorable personality~!

Yang: True, but I can get him hard in a minute without touching him with these girls. Can you do that?

Ruby: …

Ruby: Jaune, that’s not true is it?!

Jaune: Let’s just say I’m sitting down, behind this table for a reason. Okay?

Yang: Ha, that’s one for me~!

Ruby: Ahh nuts…

#rwby #jaune arc #ruby rose #yang xiao long #lancaster #dragonslayer #rwby lancaster #rwby dragonslayer

[rodanhoax]

Arc Sister's: Now, which of us will be the object of your attraction?

Whitley: Hmm... Wow, what great options. This is going to be so hard. 🙄

Jaune: *Walks in* Oh sisters, I'm back from war.

Whitley: Hello sailor!~ 😍

#rwby #arc sisters #whitely schnee #jaune arc #corporate fraud #snl