positivelyadhd

[positivelyadhd]

we were meant to live slowly!!!! we were meant to savor moments and feel unabashedly lazy and frolic and smell the flowers and laugh with our entire hearts and love with our entire souls!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for resting!!!!!! don’t ever feel guilty for slowing down!!!!!! enjoying life shouldn’t be something you’re ashamed of

[positivelyadhd]

As someone recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, one thing that’s been helping me grapple with the intense shame I have over all my “wasted potential” is accepting that potential doesn’t exist and never did.

This sounds so harsh, but please bare with me.

I procrastinated a lot growing up. I still procrastinate today, but less so. And yet, I got good grades. I could write an A+ paper that “knocked [my professor]’s socks off” in the hour before class and print it with sweat running down my face.

I was so used to hearing from teachers and family that if I just didn’t procrastinate and worked all the time, I could do anything! I had all this potential I wasn’t living up to!

And that’s true, as far as it goes, but that’s like saying if Usain Bolt just kept going he could be the fastest marathon runner in the world. Why does he stop at the end of the race??

If ANYONE could make their top speed/most productive setting the one they used all the time, anyone could do anything. But you can’t. Your top speed is not a speed you’re able to sustain.

Now, I’ve found that I do need to work on not procrastinating. Not because the product is better, even, but because it’s better for my mental health and physical health to not have a full, sweating, panicked breakdown over every task even if the task itself turns out excellently. It’s a shitty way to live! You feel bad ALL the time! And I don’t deserve to live like that anymore.

So all of this to say, I’m not wasting a ton of potential. I don’t have an ocean of productivity and accomplishments inside of me that I could easily, effortlessly access if I just sat down 8 hours a day and worked. There’s no fucking way. That’s not real. It’s an illusion. It’s fine not to live up to an illusion.

And if you have ADHD, I mean this from the bottom of my heart: you do not have limitless potential confounded by your laziness. You have the good potential of a good person, and you can access it with practice and work, but do not accept the story that you are choosing not to be all that you are or can be. You are just a human person.

#reminder #productivity #long post

[positivelyadhd]

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

#the time will pass anyway!!! #executive dysfunction

[positivelyadhd]

please don't blame yourself not knowing you were neurodivergent sooner.

please don't blame yourself if you did know you were neurodivergent but your support needs weren't met for whatever reason.

everyone deserves to have access to disability aids and support if they need it.

you are not an inconvenience for wanting to be understood or supported. you are not broken.

it is not your fault that the systems you needed weren't there when you needed them.

no matter what anyone says, you deserve to live in a world where you can be happy and do the things that you want to do and exist how you want to.

I am so sorry that it's so difficult to get that sometimes, but it is not your fault. and you still deserve support now even if you *got by" without.

#re: my last post! #i wish there was an answer to this other than change the systems (which is happening slowly but it is happening!) #but i know that its so easy to blame yourself for systems not working and thinking you should've known better but you couldn't have #you did your best with the tools you had at the time ect #recovery #reminder #adhd #disability

[positivelyadhd]

i am sending so much love to people that are waiting for or struggling to get access to mental health services.

I promise that even through it can feel like it sometimes, there's people that can support you and that it's not you fault this journey can been so difficult.

there is nothing wrong with needing help. everyone needs help. and I am so sorry if you have ever found it difficult to get it.

it's not your fault that you can't get access to the support that you need when you need it and you deserve so much better.

#only realised recently that there's a lot of support I've been trying to get that I've just never thought existed? #but i spoke to a chairty today and realised that uh yeah ive been failed by pretty much every system that was supposed to support me #and its a lot to take in. i have so many feelings about it and i know that so many other people go through this too #i promise you there is places you can support. it *does* exist. im sorry it can feel so difficult sometimes

[positivelyadhd]

I feel like a big part of enjoying life is being able to get excited over the truly small things, like having a fruit you like, wearing your fave socks, the smell of rain or the way light comes through your window.

When my anxiety got very severe last year, the thing that made life worth it was those tiny little things, which became tremendously important when I wasn’t well enough to really do anything or go anywhere for a year. A brown egg, some cute stickers, a wildflower my neighbour brought me on the way home from a party, seeing the weather change every day, watching the birds from my window… It’s happiness in miniature, and deserves some attention.

#this! #i say it constantly but its the stars for me #like it doesn't matter how bad i feel something about being able to see the stars always makes me feel better

[positivelyadhd]

i know the mortifying ordeal of being known ect ect but what about how much of a gift that can truly be?

people are reminded of you when they see something you love the same way you are reminded of them, the baristas at the coffee place remembering your order, getting to be the kind stranger that made someone feel a little better on a bad day.

each time you go out, whatever you touch, whatever you do, can have an impact on someone. while that can sometimes feel like the scariest thing in the world it's a huge part of the gift of being alive

#just thinking about the joy of human connection i guess 🥰 #like the way i used to spiral and panic over the thought of being perceived (i still do) but trying to remember that it's a gift as well #recovery #social anxiety #suggestions

[positivelyadhd]

On of the less intuitive things about love, I've found, of any kind, is the importance of needing things.

I didn't realize it until recently, but I've always seen love as something requiring sacrifice, selflessness, patience, and generosity- to ask for nothing is to be the best person I can be, small and quiet and never in the way, always happy and helpful, self-sufficient and present when desired.

It's only as an adult, now, that I'm beginning to see the selfishness of wanting nothing.

I cut my friend's hair in my kitchen the other day. They wanted a trim and I had the skills, so I offered, and was genuinely excited when they stopped hesitating over "bothering me" and took me up on it. It was a peaceful afternoon, and we had tea and chatted for an hour or more.

My brother and I shared popcorn at the movies a while ago. When I came time to pay, I pulled my card out like a wild western sheriff and slapped it on the machine before he could fight me for it first. The satisfaction was delightful.

Someone called me crying on the phone the other day. Kept apologizing for disturbing me at work, talking about how they were bothering me on my lunch break. I was telling the truth when I told them that really, I was flattered and honored and relieved, knowing that if they were hurting I would know, that I didn't have to worry in silence. It felt good to hear them slowly come down, and to know that they knew it would be better soon, and to hear them laugh wetly on the other end. We're getting together for a visit next week.

It's hard to need things, if you've trained yourself not to. It's hard to want things, when you don't know how to want anymore. Trusting people is difficult, and so is relying on them, but I don't know where I'd be without the people who rely on me.

I've heard a lot of people say, "Nobody will love you unless you love yourself". I've had a lot of thoughts about it. It's not right, but it's not wrong, either, I think.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... I've always taken that to mean, "You will not be lovable until you develop a positive view of yourself as a person".

Now, I think it's sort of inside-out.

"Nobody will love you unless you love yourself"... because nobody can show their love to you in a way that you can accept until you treat yourself kindly, and learn what you need, and what you want, and how to ask for it, and then give that vulnerability away.

Love, for me, is someone I ask for a ride to the airport. Whether they end up doing this or not is irrelevant.

It's not needy, or selfish, or taking up energy. It's giving the gift of being wanted, and needed, and thought of. It's giving someone the security of being part of someone's life.

#recovery #relationships #queue are loved ♡

[positivelyadhd]

#reminder

[positivelyadhd]

if there's one thing that humans are gonna do it's tell stories and make art and try and find meaning in the meaningless despite it all and really really think that that is reason i choose to keep going most days

#SB sorry but i feel like this fits here as well?? #im just so in love with humanity and its ability to create and tell stories and survive despite It All #recovery

[positivelyadhd]

A brief moment of rationality from the bird place.

#reminder

[positivelyadhd]

I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought "why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff," so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It's alright if you can't because apparently I fuckin couldn't either

#this with antidepressants #also my adhd meds??

[positivelyadhd]

Hey. Hey you. The person aimlessly scrolling, stuck in an immobilized standoff with your brain

It's not your fault. You won't be stuck forever. I know you're trying. I know you hate it. It's ok.

And tell the Mean Voice in your head that it's not helping. It knows as well as you do that you would get up and Just Start the task if you could. You're not doing this on purpose.

Take a deep breath. Relax your jaw. I see you trying so hard to break out of it, but you can't force it. You'll get Unstuck eventually. All you can do in the interim is be kind to yourself.

#check up

[positivelyadhd]

cannot express enough how important it is to just,, go out and be around people occasionally (for fun! not work!!)

#always feel like everything is awful and then i go see a concert or a friend and suddenly everything feels okay again <3 #recovery #self care

[positivelyadhd]

Hey idk what writer/artist/creative needs to hear this but: You can create the most garbage self-indulgent poorly made full-of-cliches awkward ugly piece of art on the entire planet and you're still allowed to be proud of it and share it with the world. In fact, I outright encourage you to be proud. You deserve it. I love you. Keep making things.

#creativity

[positivelyadhd]

me, wrapping my arms around myself: i know it’s scary. i know. just keep being brave for a little while longer. i’m here with you.

#recovery

[positivelyadhd]

listen to me. listen. your actual job in life, and it sucks that your 5th grader teacher didnt explain this adequately enough, is to ask for help when you need it and to accept charity when it would take a weight from your shoulders. Otherwise you end up like Sisyphus- or even worse, Walter White

#reminder