notquitequelled

[notquitequelled]

nothing's wrong-- i'm just a STEM student...

[i rarely see stem rep-- so here’s PART TWO! (find part one here) the extended edition of ‘stoners in stem’ highlighting the parts of this life that i find myself loving ;p

Thinking of doing sectionals (Physics, Environmental Studies, Mechanics, Entomology, etc.), so if there are any suggestions you'd like to highlight, plz tag or comment !!]

TAG YOURSELF !! I LOVE SEEING WHAT YALL GET UP TO !!

slightly concerned glances being shared between even the worst of acquaintances when your mentor drops some crazy lore surrounding how they entered their field(s)

good god. the apple-cider vinegar and dish soap gnat traps. honey alternatives decidedly never cross anyone's mind (nor the threshold of the lab for that matter)

walking the fine line between the Ridiculous and the Logical during data analysis like the two aren't twin kings of ruin

noncommital shrugs when asked anything about your preferred diet or eating habits

writing exclusively with pen, or exclusively with pencil. feeling borderline disgusted having to use the other when you forget your own

'Why do you care?' 'Why don't you??'

Every documentary you watch absolutely changing your life and challenging your worldview

Either hanging onto your textbooks like a lifeline or forgetting about them as they gather dust under your bed. maybe you never bought them at all-- pirated PDFs littering your desktop

anything in jars being considered decor (snakes, regurgitated bones, praying mantis egg cases)

seeing the slant of fences, trees, and lamp posts-- thinking of all the wind and weather that's passed along the same path you have

TREEHUGGER !!! HA HA

the clean quiet that hangs over the linoleum early in the morning; the warmth is not so subtle now that you've rolled up your sleeves.

teaching everyone around you how to bypass PAY FOR ARTICLES because knowledge should always be F[ree]INED [inspect, gear, disable java]

having to just sit by n watch while someone pointedly ignores your input, and a totally avoidable incident (that could have totally been avoided) is not, in fact, avoided

dealing with the consequences of that incident for the rest of the experiment/project

blank stare, lips in a placatingly firm line as you nod along with the stern talking-to you're being given. their words going in one ear and out the other because you're already thinking through another way under admin's nose

whaaaaat ? how'd those locally indigenous species just pop up everywhere overnight, ha ha ? wow nature is crazyyy

digging through public records for one reason, only to uncover an entirely different can of worms about the institution you frequent

digging in the literal dirt and uncovering literal worms lol amirite guys

'Please remember that this is just a prototype and that i'm it's in a very fragile state right now.'

going crazy trying to figure out what a specific testing company uses in their chemical compounds, because good fucking god how are you supposed to cite the evidence if you can't even label what it is?

a disastrous experiment being abandoned like Chernobyl once determined beyond salvation-- everyone curious to see how it'll develop and fester when left on its own

'life imitates art,' you think, as you finally recognize one of your unnecessarily complicated formulas being represented in your daily life

often being so bad at the thing you love that you can't do anything about it but laugh

staring for so long at something during a lecture that white begins to leech into your vision. you should probably blink a few times so people don't begin to suspect you're a reptile (even more than they already do)

'Don't.. don't look at me like that...' [speaking to a(n) (INSERT NAME OF LITTLE CRITTER HERE) you had to gently move onto a little scale to collect data]

honing in on where your talents in your field lie; the disappointment in finding your limits that turns to indifference when you remember you're still phenomenal at a million other things you enjoy

'i want to study you like a bug.'

thinly concealed irritation masked by a patient smile and a small 'mhm' when someone tries to explain your life's purpose TO you (ten dollars says they're wrong about it, too)

'and you want me to run this... on a full moon?' 'don't start with that shit again.'

yer disgust is lookin' a lot like morbid curiosity these days...

a lot of your scientific conclusions being discerned by common sense ('Please just use your cognitive functions, you guys...')

a clean earth sciences lab floor.. my white whale...

the small (increasingly large) pile of recyclable material that's waiting to be torn apart or filled with soil and plants; it topples over when people walk past, but no one can bring themselves to throw any away

'all this only cost me like... $270. which is crazy given that these're the real fuckin' deal with solid steel reinforcements.' 'man...this shit is so gonna blow down.'

leaning into the obscure, instead of away from it out of habit; seeing its effect in your daily life and work

all the plastic utensils in the dining area being stolen for diagrams, leaving behind only the reusable metalware. this is unexpectedly admirable of the engineers, if only to those who care about the inadvertent environmentalism

taking things apart to see how they work-- having very little planned on how to put it back together

'I don't know what you want me to do about that, you created it.' 'Not on purpose!'

downloading photomath during testing season. your doubt being palpable over your (in)ability to solve simple equations

carrying hand lotion everywhere you go because of how often your work has you washing your hands; colleagues and peers holding their hands out like beggars in a Mel Brooks film ('lotion... dollop of lotion for the poor D:')

borrowing chemical-grade goggles from the lab before going out to protest; supervisors giving you dubious thumbs ups while they 'accidentally' leave the key to the goggle sanitation station right by the cabinet..

'Now that you've poured your blood, sweat, tears, and other secretions into this project-- decide if you want to take it home to maintain, or have it eradicated.'

utilizing the public library, but having to double-check the internet before citing anything from the books you pour over because your city is more concerned with the way the building looks than the content it supplies

'The Martian,' both the book and the movie ... Mark Watney you will always be famous,,

'Why are you taking so many difficult classes at once?' 'My entire degree is difficult classes.'

carrying a small journal everywhere in an attempt to organize your thoughts, tasks, and reminders (you've never looked back on a single you've written, but you like to think it at least helps in the moment)

being torn between the scientific evidence that supports getting eight hours of sleep and your own hubris. you can stay up it's fine. it'll be fine.

you're not fine but at least the lab counters feel so nice against the side of your face

WHAT THE FUCK IS EVEN A KILOGRAM 🦅🦅🦅‼??!!!!!

having no idea where your degree will take you, giving everyone who asks a different vague answer

hands being littered with cuts and burns; not being able to stop yourself from touching even at the worst of times

geeking out over carbon sensors and ammonia regulators your supervisor managed to convince the department to splurge on (nothing provided by them will enter your lab for another three semesters)

being one of the most prepared people ever when it comes to disaster prep; this includes zombies

'this was not.. our intended result... someone get the shovel.'

pettiness infiltrating your daily life in the form of utilizing your talents; coding programs and drawing up diagrams and running tests just to prove someone wrong (or just to fuck with them)

studying with your liberal arts friends; both of you staring at your respective incomprehensible lines of symbols and words that neither of you have the brainpower to comprehend. most of the lights are off and the library closes in ten minutes, but you know the night staff and they've learned to keep their distance until absolutely necessary.

#i hit the word limit because otherwise i would keep going #academia #dark academia #stoners in stem #STEM #stemblr #stem academia #stem student #chemistry #science #environmental science #engineering #earth sciences #science aesthetic #biology #physics #geology #student life #study motivation #studyblr #study aesthetic #please god i just want to get my degree #college #academics #college aesthetic #science experiments #environmentalism #environmental activism #ecology #scienceblr

[notquitequelled]

- Tennesse Williams

[notquitequelled]

Anna Haifisch

[notquitequelled]

Josef Scharl, 1933, "Burning Stars"

Fletcher Sibthorp, 1967, "The Devotion"

#painting #art #oil painting #historical academia #artwork #whimsigoth #planets #astronomy #stars #as long as i know the shape of my soul

[notquitequelled]

hey man no offence but your notions seem kind of a little.... 🤔... preconcieved ....

[notquitequelled]

🎶 ♫ i like his shoes, I love his pants...

 i’d want him better if he wanted to dance-

uh-huh... 🎶 ♫

#violent femmes #moodboard #pinterest #pinterest board <3 #chaotic academia #msw -.o #city aesthetic #i finally figured out how to organize a moodboard thank god #dark academia #shifting

[notquitequelled]

nothing’s wrong- i’m just a STEM student…

[i rarely see stem rep- so here’s the extended edition of ‘stoners in stem’ that highlights the parts of this life that i find myself loving ;p]

- swerving around countertops and oblivious peers- doing your best to keep the various beakers balanced on top of the books you’re holding 

- all eyes being drawn to you when something arises that stumps the rest of your friends

- falling into the habit of a heavy step- never wanting to sneak up on someone in the lab (still getting ‘oh! you startled me!’ comments, nonetheless)

- avoiding small-talk like the plague

- the constant gathering of three or more students (and the occasional staff) out behind the building- trading cigarettes and spectating on arguments that couldn’t wait five minutes for someone to finish their smoke

- ‘do you have a lighter?’ ‘no...? just- light yours on mine.’

- unfortunate clashes between the scientific mind and the scientific heart

- calculated actions, then second-guessing your results; maybe just one more test...

- the static in the air as everyone watches an experiment expectantly, pencils and graph paper ready for if it succeeds- a fire extinguisher and open doors for if it fails miserably 

- dark and smudged eye makeup to compliment the ever-omnipresent dark circles you wear like a badge of honor

- harboring a distaste for bottles and containers made with material that has no translucence whatsoever (how are we supposed to see how much is in there if holding it to the light does nothing?) 

- panicked glances at your peers when you hear the jingle of keys coming down the hall (you should get rid of the evidence)

- narrowed eyes at the calculations in front of you, feeling like the visual representation of ‘?!?!’ 

- ‘what were you trying to accomplish?’ ‘i don’t know- not this!’

- watching in disgust and amusement as someone lights a joint with a bunsen burner and gestures for you to follow- making a dash towards the staircase that leads to the back exit; you and a few others aren’t far behind

- the type of laugh that echos through the building- loud and sudden as it’s ripped from your chest

- bouts of blank stares as you work through something in your mind- only coming-to when the person in front of you shifts uncomfortably under your empty gaze

- the heavy silence that rests in the darkness when you know you aren’t falling asleep anytime soon

- the first part of your notebook being neat and color-coded

- the rest being vaguely sectioned and underlined instead of highlighted (all your highlighters and pens have been lost or lended out- you had to borrow this one)

- playlists that range from loud and angry, to gentle and repetitive- both help you focus

- ‘did you see that?’  ‘no, i... blinked...? on accident.’  ‘... fine- let’s start over.’

- screeching when a concoction begins to overflow- everyone gathering like a flock of birds to lend a hand or screeches of their own 

- going out for a smoke one day and noticing a stolen handheld torch on the fire extinguisher- ‘communal lighter’ is scrawled on a piece of graph paper taped to the brick above it. thank god for the engineers

- wishing you had payed attention in second grade when learning your times tables

- slippery cobblestone that shocks you awake when you lose your footing in the mornings 

- constantly looking around- startling your friends when you stop mid-sentence to glance alarmingly over your shoulder (‘what...?’  ‘...’   ‘seriously- what?!’   ‘mmm... it’s nothing- never mind,’) 

- staring blankly at people as they tell you their deepest darkest secrets (a reoccurring phenomena)

- the cold in the morning, the heat in the afternoon, and the chill returning in the evening- all telling you that fall has arrived; sweaters beginning to show up under lab coats

- someone sprinting intensively across campus- papers flying from their grasp and out of the stacks of books, binders, and folders clutched in their arms; another person following close behind- picking everything up and quickly chasing after them

- the inked mustaches and tattoos drawn onto the plastic model skeleton that’s older than you are 

- the burning feeling in your chest when someone mentions a theory or standpoint that you despise; sending them a glare and a shake of your head- but not having the energy to debate them on it (if they want to be wrong, that’s their problem)

- tapping your fingers on things to count instead of outright holding your hand in front of you 

- being described as ‘intimidating’ despite often feeling uneasy around people yourself (they think that you know something they don’t) (and they’re right) 

- vocal changes in tone being the height of comedy- there aren’t many other ways to safely express humor when dealing with dangerous substances

- ‘check this out-’ -sets off fire alarm-

- the suffocating pause after hearing ‘did someone leave the gas on?’

- the mixed reactions when a spider appears- everyone moves to crowd around it or to the other side of the room; one person is grabbing a torch while others scream at them to leave the poor thing alone- eventually someone just scoops it up and leaves the room. they’re gone for the rest of class

- the feeling of utter despair as you realize that the page you need has been ripped out of your textbook 

- developing the immediate response of dropping to the floor when something explodes near you 

- the unanimous hope that at least one person near you understands the topic just a little more than you do

- growing to find comfort in the constant aura of secrecy that surrounds everything around you (but hoping you never get used to the rush of being let in on those secrets)

- the buzz of the first few minutes of class- when everyone is stashing away their jewelry and comparing notes from the previous session; someone is laughing out in the hall, and the countertops feel like snowmelt under your arms

[i could go on and on... but i’m not gonna <3]

#stem #stoners in stem #chemistry #chem #science #earth sciences #physics #geology #astronomy #psychology #mathematics #technology #coding #engineering #engineer #physicist #chemist #mathematician #women in stem #robotics #computer science #chemistry aesthetic #stem aesthetic #dark academia #academia #academic #studyblr #tag yourself #historical academia #txt

[notquitequelled]

“Your heart is made only to watch, and it shows.” —♡—

#whoever writes these is out for blood #capricorn venus #capricorn #love #poetry #literature #co star #costar app #astrology #horoscope #zodiac signs #zodiacs #alienated

[notquitequelled]

i drink from my mothers water bottle full of ice water.

she brings it everywhere she goes, because her kids will end up asking at some point. we’re all pretty grown up- able to get our own, but she still carries it around with her just in case. she must fill it from the fountain of youth.

#mothers #literature #poetry #academia #explore #would it be cruel to tag #mitski #my bad

[notquitequelled]

watching gilmore girls for the first time in my life and i feel like im in the truman show i finished an entire 3 week course in a day ? and deep cleaned my room. ..

[notquitequelled]

getting that august feeling (things that have ended endlessly are ending again)

[notquitequelled]

[ID: 3 green leaves with text stamped on them. They say "It's so hot and the sky's so blue", "I want people to know me", "but it's so hard to tell them". ]

[notquitequelled]

I blog for the girls who cry on their birthdays and lose a little bit of themselves during the summer months

[notquitequelled]

𝙹𝚞𝚕𝚢 𝟹𝟷, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

[ID: July 31. But I will write in spite of everything, absolutely; it is my struggle for self-preservation. END ID]

[notquitequelled]

i love you excessive information i love you unnecessary details i love you footnote tangents i love you long winded explanations i love you communication with people who just want you to know things.

#people ! #i love you #poetry #literature #academia #explore

[notquitequelled]

*through gritted teeth* every day i choose to be kind *barely restraining myself from violence* i choose to have compassion *tamping down the vicious bloodlust inside me* i choose to care and to be kind and to love

[notquitequelled]