irreverentdreams

[irreverentdreams]

The Moon - Karina Pavlova

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Sunset at Millennium Green in North Hykeham.

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W. Heath Robinson’s illustrations of A Midsummer Night’s Dream by William Shakespeare (1914).

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Japan green Series 3/3 (by Shadows Oliv)

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This is All But a Dream (Alexander Heir, 21st century).

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𝖸𝗏𝖺𝗇𝗇 𝖫𝖾𝗆𝖾𝗎𝗋

[irreverentdreams]

㋡🥀

[irreverentdreams]

My eyes can barely stay open

It’s late

I’m sleepy

I’m thinking about how I’m wasting my life and I really wish I could enjoy things again. I wish I could go on a vacation like a normal person. Or even just to the grocery store would be nice.

I hate who I’ve become and I feel trapped in this body , and I keep gaining weight and becoming more and more unrecognizable. It’s awful.

I wish there was a way out.

#personal #actually mentally ill #agoraphobic #actually agoraphobic #agoraphobia #panic disorder #severe anxiety #sad #depression

[irreverentdreams]

[irreverentdreams]

you were a different character in my story than I was in yours.

for me, there was always something about you.

a lingering curiosity and desire I did occasionally acknowledge, casually.

but nevertheless, I definitely acknowledged it. For years. A decade of a quiet curiosity.

i don’t know who I was to you. A confidant? Someone you called when you were sad. You showed up to everything I had ever invited you to, for years. I can think of so many memories with you-I wonder if you really even remember half of what I do.

I think I’m realizing you were more important to me than I was to you.

But why did you always show up?

When we kissed the first time, it was like everything I had been curious about all these years had violently awakened. I am ashamed and embarrassed for some reason of this. I can’t deny that’s what happened for me though. A fire lit, and I knew it was going to burn me alive.

I don’t think it’s crazy for me to have felt the way I felt. I do think you might have thought it was crazy though.

It does feel achingly like I’ve lost something special.

But maybe I ✨am✨ crazy for having that feeling.

It deeply impacts my soul to lose such an intense connection, and I am confused about how to heal and how to feel.

#personal #stoned #stoned thoughts. #loss #sad #sad girl #love #unrequited #deep thoughts #real thoughts #shame #stupid

[irreverentdreams]

https://www.instagram.com/p/CqeFrgIIAvZ

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Karen (@permillion44)

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Sunset at Millennium Green in North Hykeham.

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[irreverentdreams]

Dahlia