quotes that are totally 100% canon. submissions are open! I won't post quotes for the following ships: ferbnessa, perryshmirtz, and anything incest (and YES stepsiblings count you weirdos) but everything besides that is fair game! terfs/gender critical, bigots, and alt-right freaks can fuck off.
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Buford: I have a complicated relationship with zombies.
Buford: They're dangerous, but I love their swagger.
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Candace: You guys cause a distraction!
Phineas: *throwing raisins around* Raisins! Raisins! They used to be grapes!
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Doofenshmirtz: We caused very few accidental explosions yesterday.
Norm: If you round down, none.
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Isabella: (in Spanish) My whole life I have been searching for love. When I saw you on the rollercoaster, I knew you were the one. If you feel the same way, kiss me now and we will be together forever.
Phineas: I'm sorry, my Spanish is rudimentary. What did you say?
Isabella: (walks away)
Phineas: What did you say? Isabella! I don't actually speak Spanish! What did you say?
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Norm: "Can I brush my teeth too? I don't want to get cavities."
Doof: "Uh, sure. Don't forget to get the ones in the back!"
Norm: "You're not my dentist."
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Norm: "Where's this smoke coming from? It's making it hard to breathe."
Doof: "I don't think you can breath."
Norm: "You never take my phsycosimadic condition seriously."
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please boost to help a struggling autistic 18 year old transmasc person
please i really need help, i havent had anything substantial to eat in days now and i’m having brain fog. i need just a couple dollars and i can eat. i haven’t been able to get my medication or HRT for months now and i feel miserable. i got my car totaled in a head on collision by a speeding driver in February of this year that left me in debt and permanently with chronic pain + being a really, really traumatic experience. i live alone and i’m very, very behind on rent and i have nowhere to go since my parents kicked me out when they found out i was trans. i’m honestly really, really scared and i don’t know how stuff is going to work out for me here.
my paypal is @skyve please if you cant give a couple dollars just boost.
if you can’t donate and want to help besides reblogging if you message me and try to talk to me that would make me really happy i’m just feeling really scared and alone right now. if you need proof you can also dm
heres the link https://www.paypal.me/skyve
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Ferb: I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate
Phineas: What’s that make us?
Ferb: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to come!
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Doofenshmirtz: Can you give me x²+4y+ of tomatoes & 2(x²+8xy^3) of potatoes please
Monogram: I don't understand
Doofenshmirtz: Well I don't give a fuck I didn't study math in vain
Carl: Those are polynomials. You asked for a neverending curve of tomatoes
Doofenshmirtz: Oops
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Isabella: I want a bf...
Phineas: Do you mean best friend, boyfriend, or bread feast because you’re being really vague here.
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Monogram, knocking on the door: Doofenshmirtz, open up!
Doofenshmirtz: Well, it all started when I was a kid...
Monty: No, he meant-
Vanessa: Let him finish.
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Buford: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Phineas: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Isabella: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Ferb: I joined you in the dumb stuff.
Baljeet: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!
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Vanessa: ASK ME IF I GIVE A FUCK!
Doofenshmirtz: ...Do you give a fuck?
Vanessa: [tearing up] Yes.
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Doofenshmirtz-2: Normalize being an awful person who kills people and likes it. Normalize being an abhorrent piece of shit who lies, cheats, and steals.
Doofenshmirtz-1: But only to people who genuinely deserve it.
Doofenshmirtz-2: No, I want to hurt everyone I possibly can. Hope you understand.
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Baljeet: I can't be swimming around with a bunch of five year olds! They can be so cruel when they sense weakness.
Buford: That's why on the first day, you have to beat up the biggest one in the yard.
Isabella: Buford, that's prison.
Buford: Only if you let it be.
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Doofenshmirtz: Vanessa, what the hell is going on in there?
Vanessa: We're worshiping Satan, Dad. We'll be right out.
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Phineas: Did you and Buford have a fight?
Baljeet: Buford had a fight; I was being perfect reasonable.
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Monogram: Croquet is a gentleman's game.
Doofenshmirtz: That's hard to believe. I've played before and I can tell you the temptation to misuse these things is awful.
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Doofenshmirtz: All right, all right. Here's the checkbook.
Vanessa: Thank you, Dad. I will tuck this away in the gaping void that was once my soul.
Doofenshmirtz: Don't lose the pen this time.
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Buford: Man, you go through life, you try to be nice to people, you struggle to resist the urge to punch em in the face, and for what?
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