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homo-eats-angst · 3 months

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i hold off reading this for months, i just didn't want it to end!!! now i'm going to locked myself, and play "Lover" by taylor swift on repeat

Delicate

Chapter 16: December 2022 Part 2 (THE END)

A/N: Here we go! The Ending! Enjoy.

I hope you enjoy 😬

Word Count: 6,732.

Previous chapters: Here

~~~~~

Jenna left for New York on Friday. She’d be back a few days before Christmas Eve. Like clockwork the man who was supposed to be teaching you how to deal with the public and the scrutiny showed up at the time she told he would. What you didn’t count on was the guy was a complete asshole who told you this was a waste of time. With no accent in sight, it still didn’t shock you at all that he was from Boston. He had that no bullshit attitude.

“So, Let’s say you’re walking down the street.” This was the third time he was making you do this and you were getting quite aggravated. He shoots you a look and waits for you to pretend to walk down the street.

“Am I by myself or with Miss Jenna?” You ask sweetly waiting on the other side of the room.

“...By yourself. Isn’t that what happened this week?”

“Yes, Yes it was and I handled that very well. Didn’t you see the video? I didn’t answer when they said I was Jenna’s girlfriend. I got into my car and waved.”

“You shouldn’t have even turned around. If someone yells your name and you’re far enough ahead to play off not hearing them, that’s what you do. In that video you stood there for a good 20 seconds. That’s enough time to get in your car, start it and turn - up - the - radio.” He says the last 4 words with a clap in between them.

“That - seems - fucking - rude.” You clap back at him between your 4 words and put your hands on your hips.

“I wasn’t hired to be polite, if you were polite and took the time to talk to everyone who comes up to you, you’ll be at a certain place for hours.” He sits down on the edge of your couch.

“I am not Jenna! I am not…anyone. So this is just… Dude, c’mon. Can’t you just write down on a piece of paper the do’s and don’ts and we don’t have to do all this?” This seemed like a colossal waste of time. “I know what Jenna told me. She said headphones, sunglasses and keep walking if you need to get to an appointment. If not, put the headphones down and talk to people. I don’t think anyone’s gonna come track me down and ask me a gazillion questions.”

“You don’t plan on being seen out with Jenna ever again?”

“Yes, Yes I do but-”

“That’s why I got hired. I am here to show you different ways to handle what will come at you. The different types of media and fans. You have the friendly fans where yes, you’ll be allowed to hang back or go ahead. I think Jenna said she’d like you to keep walking. You’ll have the media and paparazzi shouting questions and they will yell all sorts of questions to get a reaction out of you. I was told you can’t hide emotions and it’s all over your face what you’re thinking.”

You were rolling your eyes and huffing as he was speaking. When he said you couldn’t hide your emotions you were glaring at him with your arms crossed. You tried to relax your face and uncross your arms, standing up straight.The Jackass just gives you a pointed look.

“I would love to take my girlfriend out on dates again.” You mumble and look away, as if admitting it was showing some type of weakness.

“Great. So then stop acting like a petulant child and do these scenes with me so I can go home.”

15 minutes later you are still stuck on the walking down the street and someone calls your name scene.

“I can’t just IGNORE someone calling my name! What if it’s a friend or someone who actually knows me?”

“When was the last time that ACTUALLY happened?” Mr. MTG, Media training guy asked while rubbing his forehead as if you were giving him a headache, you probably were.

“Can we just do the next scene?”

“Fine. You’re out with Jenna and you are leaving a restaurant. There are paparazzi and flashes are going off, what do you do?”

“This is a trick question! Before we leave I’d go get our car and pull it up outside the restaurant, I’d stay IN the car and text her that I’m outside and she’ll come out and BADABING, she’s in the passenger seat and we go. Now, if she prefers me to come in and walk out with her I’d do that too, after getting the car as close as possible to the restaurant.” You felt quite proud of that answer but judging by Judgy-Mcpherson’s look it’s not the right one.

“No. It’s not entirely wrong but no.”

“I got it 50% right?” Your face lights up playfully and you flash him a huge grin.

“25%.”

“Oh my god, you can’t just ask me all these stupid scenes what I’d do because I DON’T KNOW. You’re supposed to tell me! So TEACH ME.” You were sick of it, sick of him and sick wasting another minute on this if all you were going to be was wrong.

“Sit down.” He snaps at you and you move to the couch, taking a seat. You grab the notebook you had brought in and the pen and open it up.

“Number 1: You can’t react. No matter what question is being thrown at you, you cannot react. Yes, 99% of the questions will be asked of Jenna but if they ask her something that would upset her you can’t let it show that you heard and become her knight in shining armor and defend her. You can’t do that. Keep it moving. Number 2: Gray Rock Method…”

“OH I KNOW THIS ONE! You become boring and dull. You give one worded answers but nothing they can really reply to and eventually they get bored and move on.”

“Number 2: Gray Rock Method,” He continues on as if he didn’t hear you, “Unresponsive to being hounded or shouted at.”

“Isn’t that the same as Number 1?”

Oh shit, you really gotta stop talking. You keep your eyes on your notebook.

“Number 3: The flashes from the camera. Sunglasses will help, but looking down at the pavement will get you out of there faster. Do you have epilepsy?”

“No.”

“Number 4…”

It went all the way to 25. He told you what to do in interviews if you get asked questions but you blocked him out and just wrote down whatever he said. There was no way you’d be interviewed but he said if you ever went to a premiere with Jenna and were in the background you might get called over. That…no. Oh no no. But yes, if Jenna asked you to then yes, but oh no no, not anytime soon. Plausible deniability was your game since Jenna was still working on being comfortable with people even knowing about you.

Mr. MTG left after being at your house for 3 and a half hours. He told you you were the hardest person he’s ever had to deal with. You joked with him not to tell on you but then changed your mind and told him to go ahead and tell on you. 20 minutes after he leaves and you’re relaxing in a bath drinking you get a call from an unhappy Jenna and have to correct her. You try to explain he was a massive jerk to you and the first thing he said to you was that he felt like this was a waste of time. No, of course you’re not gonna play nice after that! She grew quiet after you told her that and then said she loved you and hung up on you.

You sent her a picture of your sad face and she sent you back a picture of her outfit she was wearing for Jimmy Kimmel. Your jaw dropped. The hair, the collar, the tie, the sheer top, the metal corset…just all of it. You texted her back a couple puppy eye emojis and then set the phone down. Good she wasn’t mad, maybe that meant you didn’t need anymore training. You slide underneath the water in the bathtub praying you would never see that awful man again.

~~~~~

Christmas! You were a Christmas expert starting usually at the end of August you’d make a note on your phone with different people you were buying gifts for. By the time the end of November comes around you are done with shopping. Last year was difficult being that you were still in Romania but you had presents delivered on behalf of you and Jenna to her family via amazon and their gift wrapping services.

This year was the exact same way with you and Amazon. You had to explain to Jenna when you were packing that there was a reason for your hall closet being filled up with Amazon packages that you DIDN’T have an addiction to shopping, that they were all Christmas presents and NO she couldn’t open them.

While Jenna was out of town you went to work wrapping the presents and labeling them. By the time you were done your hand was cramping from writing: From: Jenna & Y/N. How the hell Jenna did autographs you didn’t know. You stood up taking in your hard work looking at the 30+ gifts you had spent hours wrapping and stuffing under your 9 feet Christmas tree. Christmas music was playing in the background and you snapped a picture sending it to Jenna.

J-MO: I love you.Looks amazing. I’ll be home soon but if something comes before I get there don’t panic.

You: What do you mean don’t panic? Are you delivering a ton of mistletoes? You can kiss me whenever you want bby. Mwuah.

J-MO: Just don’t freak.

You narrow your eyes at your phone, taking a picture of that and sending it to her. Her response was a picture of her pouting with puppy eyes from the back of a car. You groan, severely disliking this game every time you play it. Jenna would have some bad news or something and tell you not to panic, which meant you’d panic until the time she’d tell you the thing not to panic over which instead makes you mad and irritated.

You: JUST TELL ME.

J-MO: It’s contracts for season 2 of Wednesday.

You: Why would that make me panic?

Right as you send that text the doorbell rings. You set your phone down and go to the door, opening it and seeing the Fedex guy. He has you sign your name and you give him a bag of Christmas cookies as a thanks and then hold out your hand for what he has. It was when he hands you two different Fedex envelopes and you see the names on both of them your eyes go wide. He tells you Merry Christmas! And walks away leaving you standing there like a statue as the first envelope says: Jenna Ortega and the second one says: Y/F/N.

Oh Yay.

You shake them both and sure enough it feels like enough paperwork to be another contract for Wednesday but why is there one addressed to you? You shut the front door and set the Fedex envelopes down like they’re bombs and walk as calmly as you can to your cell phone picking it up.

J-MO: Because one of them is for you.

You: No, Absolutely not.

J-MO: Yes!

You: NO! Hell no. No No N o spells no. Absolutely irrevocably NO.

You’re so heated from texting the word NO that you don’t hear Jenna come into the house. She doesn’t make her presence known until you actually growl at your phone making her let out a laugh that makes you jump. She’s standing in the doorway looking fabulous like usual with a big smile on her face. She was going to try and win you over by making you a complete fool for her. No.

“Are you insane!?”

Now this felt like complete deja vu, the same hand on the forehead and everything. The difference was this time compared to the first was that now you REALLY had the best excuses in the world not to go.

“Y/N, It’s going to be different this time.” She starts to open one of the Fedex envelopes.The sound makes you cringe, remembering the same sound was made when she pulled out the NDA months ago.

“No, and that better be yours because opening my mail is a federal offense. In fact, I’d like to not open it and just toss it in the fire.”

Jenna sighs as if realizing you were going to be extra stubborn over this which you weren’t being stubborn you being factual. You were not going to step on another set and work with Jenna, ever again. It was too much.

“Can we just look at mine together and then look at yours?” She asks innocently, pulling out the contract and looking at the front page. “This isn’t the official one, they’re just trying to get everyone to sign on for season 2 but I had wiggle room to ask for things and you’re one of them.”

“Listen, Jenna…” How could you make this as non-dramatic as possible without making her or you mad? You move to her and take her hand pulling her to the couch, taking a seat and patting the spot next to you. “I am beyond thrilled that you have wiggle room to ask for what you need but I should not be on that list.”

“It’s going to be different this time I promise.” Jenna sets the contract on her lap and then puts the Fedex envelope with your contract in your lap. You make a face at it and don’t touch it. “I’m going to be one of the Executive Producers so my input will be heard.”

“Wait.” You hold up your hands to stop her and set your unopened Fedex envelope to the side. “I love you. I love you so very much but nowhere in the last year did I say I wanted to be on another set with you. We shouldn’t work together. I want to work on a set that is near the same city you’re in or at least the same country so we can see each other. I don’t care if we’re married, given each other blood oaths and offered up my voice to Ursula - This is a bad and awful idea.”

You had taken down all your walls for her. Let her back in and place trust in her and yourself again. The stability you both had found in each other was enough to move in together but you really didn’t think you’d survive another spectacle like Romania. While Jenna had changed a bit and had gone to therapy and was working through her anxieties about not being enough for everyone, she still had days where she would shut down and just want to be alone. It was those days you’d make sure to get out of the house. Sometimes it was best to leave her alone. Other times you knew she wanted you nearby. In Romania everything was so conflicting and messed up. You didn’t know what was up and what was down or if you were a square or triangle. It was just a sick cycle carousel. Now that song by Lifehouse was stuck in your head!

“I don’t think it’s that bad.” You can tell Jenna’s losing patience and thinks you’re being over-dramatic.

“Ha! You said that last time, remember those texts? I can scroll back and find those texts if you’d like me to. It sounds suspiciously like what you said last August to me while I was flying in. My answer is NO.”

“Why?”

Did she really just ask that? Did she really expect you to answer that? Were you ever gonna get this ‘wtf’ look off of your face tonight? Maybe this girl needed more rest and sleep than you thought. She had been basically nonstop with interviews, magazine shoots, talk shows and booking movies. She wasn’t thinking clearly, that had to be it! The staring contest had begun and both of you were speaking with your eyes without saying a word out loud.

Her beautiful brown eyes said: Say yes.

Your color eyes said: You’re crazy.

Her sad brown eyes said: I’ll miss you too much, please. Then add in a slight pout of her bottom lip.

Your color eyes as you shake your head said: Absolutely not.

Her puppy dog brown eyes said: You won’t miss me? Give in to me.

Your color eyes widened at that damn look and you couldn’t look away which meant: No comment.

She continued with those damn puppy eyes and stuck out her bottom lip. Then she did the one thing that you considered cheating: She bit into her bottom lip giving you her doe eyes as she scooted closer to you.

“Please?” She whispers and you tear your eyes away from her face. You were not going to give in. No matter how many times she begged, pleaded, got on her knees, followed you around biting or chewing her bottom lip paired with her alluring brown eyes - you refused to step on the Wednesday Season 2 set.

Still.

No.

But.

No.

Look at that face!

“Ahhhh!!” You let out a sharp yelp and hop off of the couch, taking the Fedex envelope with you. “Stop it! Put all that…” You wave at her face and down her body. “Away! Stop it. That’s cheating.”

“Is that a yes?” Jenna asks the question so excitedly that you almost say YES just to make her jump up and down. There’s so much hope in those brown eyes it kinda wrecks you to say no and be so stubborn in it.

“It’s a let’s shelve this,” You place the fedex contract on an actual shelf and turn back around, “Until after the holiday’s? We have time right?” Maybe you’ll be lucky enough that she’ll forget about it.

Fat chance.

“I already told them I was just working out the fine details and the first rough draft but I wanted you to know you’re a part of my bargaining package. Probably the easiest thing they’ll give me. You as the on set Nurse. I also requested Damon back as well.”

You plug your ears and scrunch up your face so you don’t hear anymore, “Lalalalala! IT’S BEEN SHELVED, PAAAAUSE!”

~~~~~

The week between Christmas and New Year’s was one of your favorites. It felt like the entire world stopped just for that week. It was time to tie up loose ends and look back on the year and what you had been through and survived. It was a time to remember anyone or anything you’ve lost. A time where it was a bit quieter when you went into work because nothing was filming. LA studios were like ghost towns.

Jenna went with you one day for half of your shift just so she could see the areas you worked. Turns out that was a mistake because everyone and their brother that was around stopped by just to see her and asked how you guys knew each other. You changed the subject before either one of you could answer. While you were positive Jenna’s friends knew and some of your co-workers, you didn’t feel comfortable releasing that information to someone who could just run off to the tabloids and had no loyalty to either one of you. She left after people started coming in that weren’t scheduled.

You hadn’t talked about the contract for Wednesday Season 2 or opened up the fedex envelope. You were content to let that thing collect dust. In fact, it was the one thing you didn’t dust whenever you went through the living room cleaning. Jenna had decided this was a game. A silent game. A long term game and she was determined to win it because while neither one of you spoke anything outloud to each other you could tell Miss. Thang was dropping hints. At first they were subtle hints.

“I heard Britain’s great in the fall. I think that’s where I’ll be next year for about half a year.”

“Oh wow! Did you know that Hailee Steinfeld was Executive Producer on Dickinson and she was still able to go on like, 3 day vacations while filming every month and they listened to her comments and concerns? She seems less stressed!”

“Did you know Notting Hill is a real place and that bench at the end is in a private park? I think we could get in when we’re both out there.”

Then it became not so subtle when she started writing you little notes and putting them…EVERYWHERE. All you did was go to sleep one night and then when you woke up there was a note on your pillow, a note on your phone, a note in all your shoes, a note in your wallet, a note in your visor in the car–everywhere. She had to have hired someone to help her because there was no way she did all of these notes on her own. They each had different reasons as to why you should say yes to coming back to Wednesday Season 2. It was really aggravating when you found a note in your locker at work.

You finally got her to call a truce by telling her you’d open the Fedex envelope next year. Which was the following day since that day was New Year’s Eve. No more notes, no more subtle hints but she told you she couldn’t stop staring at you and imagining months and months without you by her side. That didn’t push you any closer to saying yes, instead it just made the unsettled feeling in your stomach grow stronger.

After agreeing to your truce you left the house to go get the last minute items for your New Year’s Eve party. Jenna had told you she had invited at least 30 people so you needed to be prepared. She had handled the food and the drinks and she just wanted you to go grab a couple more bottles of Moscato. You thought it was weird that whoever she hired to be the bartender couldn’t just get it on the way but you still left without arguing with her.

When you came back 30 minutes later you were a bit in a rush to get ready since Jenna had told you the party started at 10. She shooed you off to the bedroom to get ready without you noticing that the house wasn’t even set up for a party. Quickly you do your hair and make up, sliding on the outfit for the night but paired it with baby yoda slippers just to hopefully make Jenna laugh. You grab your phone and head out of the bedroom thinking you’d hear the sound of chit chatting, laughter, music or something but what you hear is complete silence. All the lights were out except for the Christmas ones that lined the hallway leading into the living room.

“Uhhh. Jenna?”

You call out but there’s no response. Where was everyone? You check your phone again. It was 10:15, there’s no way there’d not be anyone on time. What if someone broke in and was holding her hostage downstairs in the pantry! You open your phone to text her but she’s already texted you.

J-MO: I’m in the backyard.

Phew!

You bound fully out of the bedroom before you slip and fall right on your ass. You are able to catch yourself with your hands and they land in some sort of golden confetti.

“What is this?!”

It was a mess that was going to take forever to clean up, that's what it was. You look up ahead and see that it’s creating a path through the living room into the dining room to the back door. Along the way it looks like pictures were tossed randomly on the ground. You squeak a little standing up and take off your baby yoda slippers and start to follow the path. The first thing you come across is a note. Opening it you’re relieved to see Jenna’s handwriting and the words: This is not a proposal. That was exactly where your mind went when you saw the trail of confetti. Thank God that wasn’t the case.

Continuing on you pick up each picture and it’s more candid shots of both of you taken over the course of your entire relationship. Some of the pictures made you laugh: Dancing in Mia’s new apartment, You carrying her at the beach and in the kitchen Jenna distracting you from trying to cook. Some of the pictures make your heart soar: Jenna in your arms as you read a book out loud, at the park she’s blurred out but you can see you have a huge smile on your face as she bends down to you and dances in the sunset.

You hadn’t seen half these pictures or remembered them being taken. There were so many pictures and by the time you reach the back yard you’re not sure if you should laugh or if you should cry because it was just so damn sentimental.

You step outside and there’s still more confetti but with the path of confetti there are now white lights leading straight up to Jenna who is holding 4 more pictures. She looks incredible. She wasn’t wearing anything fancy, no heels or a dress and was barely wearing makeup. Instead she was wearing jean shorts and one of your t-shirts.

“Still not a proposal right?” Of course you had to open your mouth and insert your foot and say the worst thing ever! You groan and hide your face in your hands as Jenna starts laughing at you.

“No! It’s not a proposal! I’ve decided–Nevermind. Come here!”

She holds her hand out and summons you closer. This was one of the many times she said jump and you jumped. You skip over to her and take her hand, unable to get the stupid grin off of your face. Since this wasn’t a proposal any and all tension had left your body. Still you were curious what the point of this was.

“Hi.”

You both say the greeting at the same time and you stick your tongue out at her.

“What is all this? Not that I don’t like it, I love it.” You really hoped she wasn’t doing this to get you to say yes to Wednesday Season 2 because you’d say yes to the next 20 seasons if she asked you right now.

“Well, I wanted a New Year’s Eve, just you and I but actually celebrating it. Last year…” Jenna trails off and you know she’s remembering how she barely made it to you on time. “The year before that while I made it, I didn’t stay very long.”

“It’s okay. Can’t change the past and point is you DID make it. I wish you’d stop seeing the ways you think you’ve failed at something and start seeing the ways you’ve succeeded.” You were going to speak more to convince her but the look on her face stopped you.She was staring at you like she was lost in a daze with her jaw dropping just a little.

“What?!” You give her a panicked look and start to mess with your hair. “Is there something on my face?”

“How do you do that? I head into a tunnel and think of all the ways I’ve messed up this year and you won’t let me do it. You just say something or quote a poem or song lyric or do something that pulls me out of a dark place. Do you not realize how powerful that is? Do you not see that who you are is why I fell in love with you? I know you say you don’t question us but…”

She sounded a bit angry at first, like she couldn't believe that you said what you had said and that makes you start to tense until you take in her words. You start to blush and scrunch up your shoulders making a face at her acting like her words were hits and they hit their mark.

“I am not perfect.” It was your defense to all of what she said.

“I am not perfect either, that’s why we work. I am stressed the fuck out 90% of the year and 75% of that is me pretending to be someone else, whatever character for whatever movie. Then I take a break and the cycle starts up again but when I see you or am around you you don’t expect me to be anything but whatever I want to be. If I want quietness, you read to me softly. If I want to party and have fun - you are right there next to me dancing around in silly pajamas or dancing like dorks in the clubs. If I want to get drunk, you just ask what time and you do it. You’re a chameleon. You adapt to your surroundings and I just…Here.”

She holds out a picture of you both hugging each other as the rain pours around you.

“Spring. At least once every single Spring I want to dance with you in the rain and hold you just like this. I remember you told me you wanted me to act like every raindrop that hit us was a time in the past when both of us cried alone but I didn’t have to cry alone anymore. The spring this picture was taken was when I thought in my mind: I love you.”

She then holds out the next picture. The sun was bright and was shining down on both of you as you kissed, your arm wrapped around her shoulder.

“Summer. I feel like we have more fun in the summer together. Bikini time!” She smirks up at you and then coughs to go back to serious. “This day we were with Mia and we were playing chicken on who could kiss who first without anyone seeing. You won and I think there was someone walking on the trail but I can honestly say this was the first time I didn’t care who saw us. I want to do this again at the same place every summer but from now on - I don’t care if there’s a football game, softball game, any sport game or a marathon, I want you to kiss me like this and know I will never be embarrassed by it again. Also, since you’re a T. Swift fan I will say this: I’ve loved you 3 summers now honey, but I want ‘em all. Also, that summer is when I thought I knew I was in love with you.”

The next picture she holds out is from this past October. It was taken when you were in Paris with her. You had convinced her to break the rules and climb over the railing so you could get a picture in front of the Eiffel Tower lit up in the dark. Enrique had taken this one, You remember him scolding you both that Jenna’s mom would hunt you both down if you got hurt.

“Fall. I know your favorite season is Fall. The sweaters, the hoodies, the leaves changing colors, leaving the windows open on a cool night making it just cold enough I have to cling to you for body heat. Yeah I know your game.” She sticks her tongue out at you. “You know where this is from. Do you remember how you convinced me to do this but then when it came time to actually do it I made it over without pausing and you were shaking the whole time? I don’t think we should do this every fall.” She lets out a laugh letting you take the picture from her. “But we can do the whole thing, making it so cold we snuggle under two comforters and turn on a heated mattress pad.”

The last picture she holds out is a picture of you both at night in the snow, dancing under the street lights.

“Winter. I know we both get so excited for Christmas and decorating cookies with my family. This may shock you but I still look at you when we’re with my family and a little jolt hits my heart at how well you fit, because you do. It’s like you’ve always just…been there. It’s hard to explain, Anyways, I had mentioned in passing that I hadn’t seen thick amounts of snow, or any type of snow that you could build a snowman with. The next day you put me in the car and surprised me with these winter outfits and boots. We drove and drove until the first sight of snow and parked the car. You asked this stranger to take this picture and you spun me around. This moment right here Y/N-is when I know I knew I was in love with you but I just couldn’t say it.”

Stunned. You were stunned. How had she said earlier that you had a way with words when she just said all of that? You were a fish out of water as she smiles at you and pulls you closer to her by your waist. She rubs her nose against yours, leaning up to rest her forehead to yours and stares directly into your eyes.

“Tonight is the 2 year anniversary of the moment where I knew I was in love with you and couldn’t keep the words to myself. I love you. I know we say it in passing all the time but I feel like this is the one night out of the entire year we both slow down and recognize just what it means for both of us. I hope you’re not disappointed there isn’t a party but after the year we’ve had I just wanted it to be us. Next year I’ll be 21 and we can go do all the drunk things.”

Was she trying to make you cry? If you weren’t so damn stunned you would be. If this was a proposal good god in heaven you’d say yes. In fact if she pulled out the contract or paperwork for Wednesday season 2 out of thin air you’d sign that with your blood. It wasn’t that. Neither one of you were ready to be married being as young as you were and even thinking about marrying someone makes you break out in hives. You knew Jenna wouldn't bring up Wednesday season 2 after pulling all this off.

“You do know I’m going to expect a version of this every year?” You tease her and then press your lips against hers in a chaste kiss. “Next year, maybe something bigger than confetti because I am very sure we’re going to be finding little pieces in the house all next year.”

Jenna lets out a loud laugh, pulling back to wrap her arms around your neck shaking her head no. You move your arms around her waist and start to slowly dance with her nodding your head yes with a smirk. Your lips meet in the middle for a kiss, her shaking her head and you nodding but both of you stopping once you kiss.

It had been a REALLY hard year. Both of you had terrible starts to this year and it just went downhill from there. A year ago if someone had told you you’d end this upcoming year still with Jenna, dancing under the Christmas lights in the backyard of the house you both lived in- You wouldn’t believe it. A year ago you couldn’t.

Your self worth was so low. You didn’t know how you could be you without setting aside your own wants and making Jenna happy if she wouldn’t even let you in. It was during that time, all the way up until you broke up for you to realize it wasn’t going to work if you continued to ignore what you wanted or needed. It wasn’t bad to be a little selfish.

This Summer you learned how to be selfish. Maybe not in a very healthy way but it worked! You found your self esteem with each ‘Yes’ you were given, each challenge you defeated and every dangerous stunt you lived through. You had fun and came home - ready to live again.

Yet you still didn’t feel worthy of the love you gave out. Jenna chased you and you ran. She’d catch you and you’d escape. She made plans for the future and you nodded and smiled but never officially said anything. She knew it. She knew you. She waited and didn’t leave. She didn’t waver while you were wobbling. After what seemed to be such a short time, you gave in.

Thank God you did.

Saying yes to her and saying yes to moving in you were now able to see how she had changed. Even if Wednesday had triggered all this craziness there was a sense of calm in Jenna that you didn’t see a year ago. It was because of who she surrounded herself with that she was tethered to the earth and you were so thrilled you were around to take the phone out of her hand if it got to be too much.

“What are you thinking about?” Jenna lifts her head from your shoulder and looks up at you. You pretend to think more before spinning her and dipping her then bringing her back up.

“I am thinking about how I want to get into pajamas and ring in 2023 in the most boring way possible because I have a feeling next year is going to be insane.” You pull back and take her hand, picking up all the pictures and turning to her. “Pajamas and in bed with the tv doing the countdown?”

She nods and then moves past you, pulling you quickly towards the sliding door to go inside. You both slip on the confetti a few times laughing when you catch each other.

That’s how you end 2022. In bed with Capri suns and cookies. When the countdown started she was right next to you, ready to ring in the New Year with a kiss. You hoped she’d never forget your belief of kissing at midnight meant you’d have good luck and that you’d end the following year together too.

“You ready?!”

“What?”

“We gotta count down!”

“When?”

“Cheese and rice Jenna right now!”

“Cheese and rice or cheesy rice?”

“5…4…3…2…1!”

~~~~~

A/N: Thank you thank you thank you for reading!

For those who’ve been reading since day 1 ( January 15th :O ) thank you for your patience!

For those of you who started reading in the middle of the story and then I disappeared- Thank you for staying around and reading!

For all of you who took time out of your lives to get lost in this one - Thank you!!! I know this fanfic takes FOREVER to read.

I wanted to write a story that hopefully and randomly one day in the future you’ll remember and be like: Oh yeah, I wanna read that again!

My goal was that ^ and also to write a story that didn’t seem weird or cringey. 0.0 I do hope I accomplished that.

There probably is so much more I could say but then it’d start sounding like goodbye and I am NOT saying goodbye. I love these two characters too much. Jenna and YOU as the reader. I am sure I will be writing again in this same “universe” we’ve created.

For now I am taking a break and am going to be reading the 19+ wenclair fanfics I have saved on my phones browser PLUS the fanfics on here I purposely avoided so it wouldn’t mesh too much with my head.

Thanks again for reading and all of your likes, comments and reblogs!

See y’all later!

~Evie Kensington

Edited to add: Anyone can take any of these pics! I found a majority of them on Twitter/X so they are not mine to claim AT all.

Also, Sorry that the pics have reader with blonde hair. I pictured Reader as Maggie Grace and she had blonde hair. So So Sorry!

The stages of Saying I love you are from How I met your mother:

The Moment when you think it.

The Moment when you think you know it.

The Moment when you know you know it but you just can't say it.

The Moment when you know you know it but you can't keep it in any longer.

BONUS: Sometime in the future Jenna uploads this to her Instagram: