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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Republicans: We need guns, so we can rise up against the government if the attempt to oppress us.
Black People: The government is oppressing us, so we're rising up against them!
Republicans: HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Apparently Dean Koontz's, "How to Write Best Selling Fiction," is a great guide for writers. Sounds great, I need more books to study the craft and grow as a creator.
Amazon: That'll be $485 for a used copy.
Yeah, no thanks.
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Nexus Notes - Chapter Three
"Nexus!" Max said as he pounded on the door to her apartment. "Send Parker out here." 
At his call, Nexus appeared in the doorway with a yawn. It was already the middle of the day, but she was dressed in her pajamas and slippers, her red mane a frazzled mess. Even still, she felt the need to don her lab-coat. She sipped on her foamy brew and stared back at Max with a languid glare. "He's busy," she said tersely.
"Do you ever bother to get dressed?" he asked. Max's own professional appearance was as proper as can be at all times. He was only a few steps away from just wearing a formal suit around the house.
"Science cares not for fashion. But you go ahead and doll yourself up every day, I'm sure all those clients you don't have really appreciate it."
"That's exactly why I'm here, as it happens. Over the last couple days, if Parker's not in there or out with some woman or another, he's playing games and watching cartoons. Note that none of these involve working. That's about to change. I just secured us a contract and I need him out here, now."
"Can't," she replied with a shake of her head. "I need him here to carry heavy things and reach high shelves. I'm sure you understand."
Parker appeared behind Nexus, his arms loaded with a large bin of with mechanical junk and his face slick with sweat. "Hey Max!" he said excitedly. "We're almost done the repairs. Come to have a look?
Nexus took this opportunity to step out of the conversation and retreated inside, giving Max a sideways glare as she did.
"No Parker, I have no interest in your little experiments with your newest girlfriend."
Parker let out a nervous chuckle. "Nex and I are just friends. She has been exceedingly clear about that."
"We're not friends either!" she cried from the other room.
Max calmly adjusted his spectacles, a habit that Parker knew to mean he was getting annoyed. "We have actual work to do. Work that pays."
"C'mon Max, can't you just try and be a little excited? If this works, Nex says it's going to be a huge scientific breakthrough."
Max bowed his head in frustration and ran a hand through his hair. "Look, Parker, I received a call about a job. Whatever you do over here with the neighbour girl, I don't care."
Nexus's chair wheeled into view for a moment and she gave him a cross look. "Neighbour girl?" she said with derision. "I prefer Doctor Nexus, thank you," she said as she wheeled back out of view.
"You can pretend that you have an advanced degree all you want, that doesn't mean I acknowledge it." Max shook his head and sighed deeply before returning his attention to Parker. "I need you on this, brother."
"Yeah, sure. We're almost done in here. I'll be over soon."
"Soon?" he said with a raised brow. "Now would be preferable."
"Don't worry Max, I'll get it done."
"Be ready to head out in an hour, Parker."
"I will," he said defensively. "I'm a reliable guy. You know that. Remember all those times I was reliable?"
"I'm serious Parker.” Max retreated back toward his apartment, giving his brother one last disapproving glare before departing.
"I got it, I got it. I'll see you in an hour." Parker ducked back into Nex’s apartment and nearly stumbled over a crate of spare mechanical parts. The floor was otherwise littered with empty coffee mugs, food containers and Nex's laundry. It was a chore to even find the floor underneath it all.
When he returned, Nexus was busily tapping some commands into her hand-held, numerous schematics and notes projected onto its surface. "Almost ready to go. Just need to let these processes finish up and we'll be ready to try again." With a quick flick, the razor-thin screen segmented into four smaller squares and folded together with a magnetic clink, compressing down to the size of a wallet.
"Quick question," said Parker. "Why the lab-coat?"
She answered his query with a blank stare and a long silence. "... Because I'm a scientist," she said at last.
"Yeah but lab-coats are for when you're working, you know, in a lab. They have a purpose, they're not just there to look nice. But you wear yours all the time. In your apartment, outside, when you're eating. I've never even seen you without it on. Why?"
She shot him a dirty look, practically scowling at his question. "Because. I'm a scientist," she repeated, sounding more exasperated this time. "It's like talking to a child."
"Oh, I'm a child?" Parker replied. "You look like you just walked out of a middle-school."
"And you've been hitting on me since we met, what does that say about you?"
"Oh, well I guess that insult backfired on me, didn't it?" he shot back, never losing his combative tone.
Their conversation was cut short as a sharp beep cut through the air. It was Nexus's computer. Her attention shifted immediately to the screen and she swiftly entered the start-up sequence. "It's ready," she said.
"Alright, let's have a look," replied Parker with a broad grin.
While his face had grown markedly more excited, the enthusiasm had drained from Nexus's own.
"Before I turn this on, there's something you should know." She had suddenly grown somber as if a switch had been flipped somewhere in her mind.
Parker furrowed his brow and crossed his arms over his chest. He'd never seen her like this. Sure, she'd been angry before, upset and frustrated, but her emotions were always vibrant and energetic. Seeing her dispirited made him keenly aware that something was wrong.
"There's something in there," Nexus said quietly as she cast a sideways glance at the machine.
"That's not possible. Sub-space is empty. I mean, I'm not a scientist, but you told me that you were the first person to ever do this."
"Not exactly." She sighed deeply and stuffed her hands into the pockets of her coat. "It's complicated. I'll just have to show you."
Parker nodded, unsure of what else to do.
The pair stood before the gate as Nexus tapped the last key to activate it. Just as before, the machine lit-up and started to hum. Energy arced along the ring and coalesced in the centre in a small, luminescent bead, the size of a marble
Parker noted that he felt a strange tingling on his skin throughout the process and a pressure pushing against him.
And then it appeared. In this apartment, she had contained a window into a whole other reality. Parker had never believed that Nexus could do it. Not entirely. He let himself get excited and he stuck around to see what would happen out of curiosity, but not at any point did he really think it was possible. And even more impossibly, Nexus was right. It wasn't empty. He'd seen broken what he, a layman in terms of science, understood were two hard laws of physics. One, objects cannot persist in sub-space, only move through between wormholes, artificial or otherwise. And two, sub-space is completely empty. An absolute vacuum.
Human bodies floated in the empty space, gathered about a large metal cylinder, perhaps twice the size of an adult man. Though no less disturbed than the first time, Nexus was prepared and had not allowed herself to be overcome by shock. She noted carefully that there were nearly thirty bodies and all wore the same uniform. A dark jumpsuit with no visible identifiers. No logos, no symbols, not even a name-tag.
Both observers stared at the otherworldly spectacle and neither spoke a word. It was eerily still, Completely so, like a painting. Only for fifteen seconds did the view remain and then, with a thunderous din it peeled away. The gate rumbled and sparked before unceremoniously dying and fading into silence.
"No!" Nexus screamed as she reached for the device.
"Wh-what the hell did we just see?" Parker asked. His eyes were wide and unblinking.
Nexus already had her computer in her hand and feverishly tapped in the keys to restart the gate. There came no response."Dammit! No, no, no, no!" She hammered her fist against the hard metal surface of the machine repeatedly. After a few blows, she winced in pain and recoiled with gritted teeth. "Again! I failed again!" She kicked over the nearest box, spilling cables and wiring all over the floor before picking it up and hurling it at the wall.
"Nexus, those were dead bodies," Parker said.
She had already dropped into her chair and buried her face in her hands by the time Parker had spoken. "Go away!" she yelled in a muffled voice. "I wanna be alone!"
"But... Shouldn't we tell someone about that?" His voice was breathless as if he'd just run a marathon.
"I said go away!"
He stared at her, face hidden and hands shaking with a cocktail of emotions. Parker wasn't sure of how he should feel at that moment and was thus a far cry from understanding Nexus's feelings. "Yeah," he said at last after a long silence passed between them. He nodded slowly and moved toward the door. "I should be going. We'll talk later, okay?"
He paused a moment, waiting for affirmation that would never come. She sulked in silence, ignoring him entirely, and so he left. He hadn't known what to expect from Nex's experiments but it certainly wasn't this.
Alone in the hallway, he pressed his back against the wall and felt his heart thudding in his chest. He took several deep, calming breaths and wiped the building sweat from his brow. The computer in his pocket vibrated and with a quick glance, he saw it was a message from Max.
"Almost finished?"
With no other choice, Parker decided it was best to get on with the day. He didn't want to dwell on what he'd just saw, but wasn't sure if he could really avoid it either.
Returning to his apartment, he found Max behind his desk, just as expected. "Good, you got my message," said Max.
"Uhm, yeah," he said, avoiding eye contact. "What's the job?"
Max gave him a curious look as he rose from his chair and slipped his computer into his breast pocket. "Is something wrong?"
Parker shook his head. "No, just tired.”
Max shrugged and continued. "My sources alerted me to a fugitive hiding out here on Pantainos. A few districts over, so we'll need to take the vactrain. An Omicron banker, convicted of embezzlement. Fled to Pantainos with his illegal assets." Max flicked over to a new page on his computer, his eyes scanned the screen from behind his rectangular spectacles. "I've got a tip on some property he may have rented so we're going to go in for a stakeout."
Parker nodded, still avoiding eye contact. "Good. You're really good at this, Max." He tried to smile but it was blatantly forced.
Max shot Parker another long, appraising glance but didn’t pursue the issue any further. "And you need to be ready to do what you're good at," he replied as he reached into his desk and withdrew a thick shoulder harness, a pistol holstered on the left side.
"Really?" Parker replied, giving a skeptical glance. "He's an omicron pencil pusher. They're like four feet tall, you know?"
"Better to have it and not need it, than need it and not have it." Max then tossed the holster to Parker.
He caught it out of the air and sighed as he strapped it on. "You sound like Mom."
"I don't think mom was referring to firearms when she said that."
Later that day, nearing sundown, Parker and Max found themselves relaxing in a cheap rental car, parked across the road from a row of small townhouses. It was an upscale neighbourhood, all festooned to replicate that cozy, 21st century Earth style. It was certainly a far cry from the boxy, run down apartment complex they’d recently relocated too. 
The vehicle was quiet and uncomfortably still. Parker stared at the building and Max focused on his computer. They waited in silence for nearly two and a half hours before Max spoke up. "What happened with Nexus?"
"Hm?" he muttered. "N-nothing."
"Parker, you haven't said a word. You were quiet the whole ride over. I've been trying to make that happen for over ten years."
Parker fumbled through the numerous, conflicting thoughts in his head. "I just... I feel like I need to talk about something, but I don't know if I should."
Max finally took his attention away from his screen and turned a narrow gaze on Parker. "I'm not sure I understand. You're not keeping secrets from me, are you?"
"No... Well, sort of, I guess. You know I wouldn't hide anything from you. You're my brother. But I don't know if I should talk about it yet."
Folding up his computer, Max took off his glasses and looked Parker in the eyes. "Something to do with that Nexus woman."
Parker didn't answer, breaking eye contact.
"Well regardless, it's gotten you shaken up pretty badly. Whatever it is, I've got your back, Parker. Just as soon as you're ready to talk about it."
Parker took to leaning out the window and staring off into space. "...Thank you," he said at last. He ruminated on the situation for a few more minutes, his eyes focused on the target's home, but his thoughts were elsewhere. A ring-tone from Max's computer suddenly drew his attention.
"...Hello?" he said calmly. "... I see. Thank you. Please call me again if you hear anything." He began swiftly taking notes the moment the call ended. "It was the landlord," he said to Parker without looking at him. "The target hasn't been here in over three days. It's unlikely he'll return tonight."
"So we came out here for no reason?"
"Not exactly. I spoke with the landlord and I have one-hundred-percent confirmation that our target has both committed a crime and lives in that residence."
"Legally justified breaking and entering then?" Parker asked with an all too excited grin.
"Indeed. Go have fun. I'll have a chat with the neighbours. See what I can pick up from them."
Parker practically barreled out of the car, stretching out his stiff limbs and cracking his knuckles. "Alright. First good news I've gotten all day."
***
"I got dressed for this Parker, so you better have a damn good explanation for why we're here?" Nexus grumbled as she leaned back against the cushioned booth of the deserted ice cream parlour. The sun had already set and one could hear every last clink and clatter from the dishwasher in the back.
Parker took a seat across from her, two large cups of soft-serve and crunched-up cookies in his hands. "You seemed upset. I thought ice cream would help," he replied as he offered one to her.
"I'm not five, Parker. You can't just give me frozen dairy and expect it to resolve everything."
"Well, it helps me. I figured the woman who puts half a bag of sugar in her coffee would feel the same."
Nexus fixed him with an icy glare, wondering how she let him talk her into this.
"Come on, it's free food."
She begrudgingly snatched the proffered treat and promptly shoveled a few spoonfuls into her mouth. "Next time, get it with strawberries. I like them better."
"Noted." Parker took a few bites of his own before continuing. "So, can we talk about what we saw in there?"
"Whatsh there to talk about?" she replied with a mouthful of ice-cream.
"I don't know. But that's why you were so intent on making this work, huh? For all your callous bitchery, you couldn't turn a blind eye to those lost lives."
"...Whatever you say."
"So what was your plan? What were you going to do once you got this working?"
She was absent-mindedly swirling her ice-cream around with her spoon. "None of your business."
"Honest question, have you ever interacted with another human being, or am I the first?"
"Am I supposed to care what you think of me?"
"I'm serious," he said leaning a little closer. "Do you have any family or friends? You've never mentioned anything not related to science or conspiracy theories. You don't seem to know anyone. Were you just alone all the time before I came around?"
"What's your problem!?" she snapped. "Did I ever ask you to get involved in my personal life? You barged in on my experiments. Fine, you made yourself useful at the very least. Now I draw the line at this interrogation."
He didn't say anything for a good while, running a hand through his hair and staring at the ceiling. "How am I supposed to even talk to this woman?" he thought to himself. "Sorry. I'm just worried about you."
Neither said anything for a time after that. They ate their ice cream in an uncomfortable silence until Nexus was scraping out the bottom of her cup with a spoon. With no excuses to avoid talking any longer, Parker gave it another shot.
"So, the bodies. Are you going to tell anyone?"
"Who would I tell?"
"I don't know. Somebody who can get this information to the right authorities and find the people who did this? You're smart, you should be able to figure something out."
"The authorities ARE the people that did this, Parker. I tell anyone I can't trust, I disappear."
".... Does that mean you trust me?"
"Shut up."
Parker grinned clownishly. "Now that I've seen what I've seen, it looks like you're stuck with me."
"Yippee,” she said with the least possible amount of enthusiasm.
"But now what? What do we do about the gate?"
"Try again," she replied with a shrug. "I'll get it right eventually."
Parker had a thought. A dangerous thought. Something he dare not mention out loud but felt he had little choice but to do so. Life was nothing without risk and so he decided he should chance it. "Have you ever considered the fact that maybe you can't..." he trailed off nervously, fingers tapping against the surface of the table before continuing. "Maybe you can't do this alone?"
Nexus had started in on Parker’s half finished cup but stopped in mid-bite, leaving her spoon to hang limply from her mouth. The look Nexus gave him, he may as well have just suggested she use puppy-blood as a fuel source.
"Oh, you think I can't do this?"
He threw his hands up defensively and shook his head. "No, no, no. I would never say that. I just think that maybe if you had another perspective, perhaps from someone with a specialization in engineering, you might make some more progress."
"I don't need anyone else. Science is my bitch and one way or another, I'm gonna make it bend over for me!"
Parker furrowed his brow, looking utterly baffled. "What? That's just... What?"
"You heard me."
He shook his head but continued nonetheless. "What is your field of study anyway?"
"What kind of amateur do you take me for?"
"Oh good, more crazy. Let's at least get outside before you throw it at me."
The pair took their leave and stepped into the cool night, the restrictive heat of Pantainos relenting once the sun went down. They walked side by side toward the apartment. Nex pulled her lab coat snugly around herself. Physically speaking, she was feeling stronger than usual, so she decided to leave her cane at home today, as she avoided bringing it whenever possible.
"So. What exactly is your grudge against the scientific hierarchy?"
"I'm an inventor and a brilliant one at that. I can't limit myself to ridiculous constructs such as fields of study. I have a working knowledge of all aspects of science."
Parker bobbed his head, miming as if he understood what she was talking about. "Alright. Let me try this from a different angle. You used to attend Pantainos Academy of Science, right?”
Nexus nodded.
"Well, what did you study there?"
Arms crossed over her chest, she bowed her head as if admitting defeat. "I was pursuing double PhDs in computer science and physics, with a specialization in sub-space theory. My primary goal during my studies was to develop an advanced artificial intelligence. So yeah, I'm kind of figuring it out as I go with this whole engineering thing."
"And you managed to make an almost functioning sub-space pocket gate? That thing that literally nobody has ever done?"
"I was determined," she replied.
"But you've tried twice. And you can't possibly have the funds to keep doing this indefinitely, You need help."
"No. I don't. And even if I did want to bring someone else into this shit-storm, who would it be? It's not like I know anyone."
"Are you telling me you attended that university for two years, and you didn't meet a single scientist you respect?"
"I don't respect anyone."
Parker stopped in mid-step, standing in place for a moment while he let that sink in. "Yeah, that tracks."
The rest of the walk was made in relative silence. Parker made a few attempts at small talk, but Nexus brushed him off each and every time. They reached the apartment soon and when they came to the hallway, Parker spied something amiss.
Nex's door was left ajar. He stopped in mid-stride to shoot her a curious glance. Before he could get a word out, a stranger stepped out of her apartment.
It was a young woman, of a sort. An arietian, one of the nine sentient races in the galaxy. Odd enough that she was exiting Nexus's apartment, she appeared to have an armful of her clothes. The moment she spotted Parker, she looked spooked. Her huge black eyes expanded and her lipless mouth parted slightly. She took a brief step back, slinking carefully on the tips of her feet.
Her moist skin was of a pale blue hue and she bore the characteristically round and smooth features of her race. They appeared noseless and with thick, fleshy tendrils growing from their heads. Hers were shorter than most, arching down to her chin at the front and swept toward the base of her skull at the back. The arietians were an amphibious race, and thus they possessed webbed hands and feet.
"Who is that?" he asked, a finger pointed at her. Nexus on the other hand appeared startlingly calm about the situation.
And that was all it took to make the fish girl disappear. The first words that left his mouth sent her into a panic and she fled down the hall, Nexus's garments still in hand.
"Hey! Get back here! You can't just go into people's homes and... What are you doing!?" Parker yelled.
"Relax," said Nexus, slapping him on the shoulder. "She's cool. She just goes into my apartment sometimes and tidies up. Does my laundry."
"What? That does NOT happen!"
Nexus shrugged. "I didn't think so either, but she just sorta showed up one day a few months back."
Parker slowly narrowed his eyes at her, increasingly skeptical of her story. "Well, who is she?"
"I don't know, it's not like we talk or anything."
"You don't even know her name!?"
"Alright Mr. Yelly-pants, shut up. It's the middle of the night. All the idiots have gone to bed after wallowing in another day of mediocrity. Don't kick the damn beehive."
Parker was thoroughly disappointed in himself. He had somehow allowed himself into a position where Nexus had become the voice of reason between them. "You're right."
"As always," Nexus said, cutting in before he could finish.
"I should get to bed soon. I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
Nexus nodded and stepped toward her apartment, the door still open after the arietian girl's sudden departure. She peeked inside, ensuring nothing had gone missing (laundry aside) and then turned back to look at Parker for one last moment. "I'll think about what you said... And thanks for the ice cream I guess."
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Well Coronavirus, you've done the impossible.
I am officially bored of video games, books, Netflix and jacking off. What more can you take from me?
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Aulin, the Red Sage. My favourite DnD character, once a humble schoolteacher, now an arch wizard and hero of the realm. He is known as an exceedingly clever and pacifistic man but also an arrogant one, who seeks to control anything he deems dangerous. Also featured is his life companion, the fairy Peck.
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Friends Online: How big of a redneck are you?
Me: BEHOLD!
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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The Time My 9th Level Wizard Defeated a Beholder With One Spell
So some context for this one. My Half-Elf wizard is a lawful good pacifist named Aulin. Aulin avoids killing whenever possible, refuses to use any damage dealing spells and spends most of his non-adventuring time running a small school for poor children. He’s a naive, scholarly man who always tries to find a better way and avoid violence at any cost. At least, he was at the time this story takes place. He’s gone through some arcs since then and is nearly 20th level, but that’s a story for another day. My party is battling a group of dark elves on top of a castle they’ve invaded. This is the big culmination of the entire story arc of the campaign up to this point. They’re planning this big ritual that will eradicate all life in this nation because they received a vision from a beholder sealed within the walls of this castle. The prophecy states that the scion of evil, inheritor of the Abyss, will be born in this country, on this day. They don’t know who it is and so to ensure the continuation of the world (and themselves by extension), they want to wipe the nation of life.  My hero, the naive schoolteacher is giving his big Picard speech, “There is another way. We cannot make this kind of sacrifice based on the mad ravings of an insane monster!” The battle is nearly over, my companions and I are mopping up the last of the drow forces when their arch-priestess takes an orb, the focus for their ritual and throws it down a chute. A chute that leads directly to the magical prison of Va’al, the Beholder. My allies are too injured, I’m the only one that can do anything to stop this. 
I decide that to save so many lives, Aulin is willing to sacrifice himself. I fly down the chute, into the dark chamber and smash the orb to pieces at the last moment. The world is saved. Then a massive, glowing eye appears in the shadows, followed by a cackling laugh. I am face to face with a beholder. A monster that my entire party would likely be destroyed by, even at full strength. And there I stood, in its magic eradicating gaze with nothing but a sword, less than half of my hit points and my very meagre martial combat skills to defend me. Staring down a Beholder, a powerful wizard is basically just a regular guy. The DM tells me, “You have one turn to do SOMETHING before he kills you.”
I frantically start checking my sheet. I love playing this character. I made the decision to dive in knowing I was probably going to die but dammit, I’m gonna go down fighting. I don’t even bother looking at my spells, I know they won’t be any help so long as he’s looking at me. But Aulin is a notorious hoarder, holding on to various items and trinkets for long stretches of time. Something on my list had to be able to help me. Something catches my eye. A magic jar of dirt. It was a simple magical item that contained about a cubic foot of dirt that I could telekinetically manipulate into various shapes. At this moment, it was a regular ass jar of dirt. But against a Beholder, it might an alternative us. 
“I throw the jar of dirt in his eye.” D20 comes up with a 9. Not great and as I said before, my martial skills weren’t anything special. I burn inspiration, reroll, Nat20! The DM rules that Va’al is blinded by the dirt and shuts his anti-magic eye. DM says I have bought myself one round. I can cast one spell to get myself out of this. My first thought, Dimension Door. Teleport out of here and leave this monster to his prison. But no, he’s too dangerous. He incited this war with the dark elves through his visions and there’s no reason to believe he couldn’t do something like this again and destroy thousands more lives. I needed to rid the world of this creature, here and now. 
I don’t have many spells left and even at full strength, there was nothing I could do to kill a Beholder in one round. But I did have a nice scroll. Modify Memory. This triggers a bit of lore knowledge in the back of my mind. “I cast Modify Memory to make Va’al believe that I sliced him in half when I came in.”
The DM is curious. He’s good, always tries to say yes to his players and keep things fun but he’s not sure what I’m angling at. “Beholders are psychic creatures. Their thoughts can warp reality if they’re intense enough. I use Modify Memory to make Va’al believe that he has been sliced in half.“
DM puts away his screen and rolls his die in front of everyone. He wants us to know that no matter what, he’s not fudging this one. I’ve put my life in the hands in the dice. D20 comes up a 3. In spite of the Beholder’s great Wis Save, he fails. The DM rules that just because I have altered his memory, doesn’t mean the belief is strong enough to alter reality. Va’al’s will is going to fight this. He gets a second will save to resist his own eradication. It’s a brutal call, but I think it was fair considering I’m trying to OHKO a boss monster, totally out of my league. D20 comes up 5 and the DM reports that in a burst of psychic energy, the Beholder is ripped in half.
That wasn’t the last we’d see of Va’al. Beholders have ways of ensuring their own survival and the furious monster, embarrassed by his defeat at the hands of a lowly school teacher, has been resurrected and vowed vengeance against me. This remains my favourite DnD moment ever and a great example of why I love playing wizards.
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Nexus Notes - Chapter Two
In a small, barely furnished room with just a twin bed in the corner and a small pile of unpacked boxes in the centre of the floor, Parker stood over a shelf, meticulously arranging a series of small toy figures. They were all cartoon animal creatures of a sort that he had carefully placed.
“There we go,” he said in a voice brimming with satisfaction. He pulled one last toy from the box at his feet and spent several minutes deliberating on its exact position. “Glad to see you’re all fine after the crazy lady kicked you over.” Amid his musings, he finally situated the purple, squirrel-like thing in his hand, placing it between a big red rock creature and an icy skeleton
“Parker,” called an all too serious and impatient voice from another room.
It was Maximilian, his best friend, roommate and as of today, business partner. Recognizing the tone in his friend’s voice, Parker left the bedroom and stepped into what had become a highly professional looking office-space since last night. Already, Max sat behind his desk, tapping away at his computer. His dark, chin-length hair was neatly tucked behind his ears and his attire was as clean-cut and straightforward as always.
“Are you quite finished playing with your toys in there?” Max's eyes never left the screen when he spoke. His dedication to multitasking was both inspiring and infuriating to Parker.
“Ah, so I see you decided to go through with that surgical funectomy you mentioned. Not the choice I would’ve made, but I respect your decision.”
“How very mature, brother. You are aware that this is our job now and we have to take it seriously? At least a little bit?”
The bigger man groaned, leaned back against the wall and stuffed his hands into his pockets. “I know, I know. But it’s just so borrrring! I’m bored Max, I need constant stimulation. You knew this when your mom took me in, there’s no going back now.”
“You were 11, Parker. Believe it or not, I presumed you would grow out of it in the proceeding eight years,” said Max in a dry voice.
“And that was your first mistake.”
“No, my first mistake was sharing my toys with you in 1st grade. You broke one of them, you monster.” Even when joking with his best friend, Max remained defiantly deadpan.
“So, did you need me for something?” Parker asked with a raised brow.
“Just wanted you to look over the contact list I put together. We need to start getting the word out there and take on a few jobs before the end of the month. The rent on this place is dirt-cheap but smiles and kind words won’t be enough.”
Just as Max was turning the screen toward Parker, there was a sudden, dying hum as all lights in the room went out and the computer flashed brightly and powered off. Max stared curiously before sighing and leaning back in his chair. “Hmm... It appears that fate is as adverse to you working as you are.”
“Bundle that with these cheekbones and I am truly blessed." He flashed a cheap grin and stroked a thumb across his cheek.
Max steepled his fingers and lifted his gaze to the ceiling. “Must’ve been a surge. I wonder if it’s just us, or the whole building.”
“What about the backup generators?”
“In a dump like this? I don’t think so.”
“I’ll go and have a look. See who I need to talk to about this.”
When Parker stepped into the hall, he found he wasn’t alone and noticed that the lights in the corridors had gone out too. It seemed odd to him, that all his neighbours were heading straight for the apartment directly across from his. By the time he’d stepped into the hall, there were a dozen grumpy looking individuals pounding on the door.
Not knowing what else to do, Parker to up a stance near the rear of the group, which was growing increasingly louder as they received no response.
When the door came open at last, Parker’s look of curiosity shifted to one of concern. The woman he saw now looked markedly different from the one he’d bickered with just last night. Black bags had appeared under her eyes and her complexion was drained of colour. She leaned against the threshold of her apartment for support and looked upon the crowd with groggy, weak eyes.
She couldn’t get a word in before the entire crowd erupted with angry cries. A multitude of declarations ranging from, “This again?” to “You’ll be tossed out on the street, this time,” and an array of expletives and insults hurled her way.
Nexus grit her teeth and made a motion to shoo them away. “Go to Hell! I’m doing important work here and I don’t have time for this.”
Of course, her response only incensed the crowd further. She didn’t appear to be in any mood to deal with the uproar and stormed back into her apartment, slamming the door behind her.
The crowd only got louder, thumping on the door and cursing angrily. It was then that Parker stepped in. He waded into the mob, hands raised as he pushed his way past them. “Alright people, calm down. What makes you think any of this was her fault?”
A lanky middle-aged man scoffed. “You’re new here, aren’t you? She’s been knocking out our power every couple weeks for the last two years.”
“Well alright, so it is her fault,” Parker replied, still trying to calm the situation. “Fair enough, but really what are you going to do here? Kick down the door and burn her at the stake?”
The crowd’s grumbles quieted a small amount as they exchanged angry glances with one another and then refocused them on Parker.
"Everyone just take a look and calm down." He reached into his back pocket and pulled out a small leather wallet. Flipping it open, he revealed a silver emblem. It was an oval-shaped, UEF badge with the words, ‘Collector Agent,’ and a downward-facing sword imprinted on the surface. “I’m a licensed collector, alright? I’ll go in and have a chat with her. Go back to your homes and wait for the power to come back on, okay?”
The crowd dispersed gradually and grumpily. It wasn’t long before Parker was alone in the hallway again and proceeded to knock on the door. “They’re gone."
He heard some shuffling and movement inside of the apartment, followed by a grumble as the door came open.
“So what, did you expect me to thank you?” she asked, leaning on her cane.
“Call me an optimist." He shrugged and did his best to turn on the charm. Then, he suddenly felt a strange, sour odour hit his nose. Coughing at the surprise assault upon his senses, he swiftly covered his face. “Ugh! What is that?”
“Vomit," she said, averting her eyes.
“... Are you alright? You don’t look alright.”
“Do you want something?"
Parker found himself considering it for a long moment, drumming his fingers against the threshold of the door. “I want to know what you’re doing in here?" He leaned over, trying to peer past her to the numerous technological oddities that filled her apartment.
“Living,” she said, putting herself into Parker’s line of sight and obstructing his view. “This is my apartment, I live here and nothing else.”
“What are you, some kind of mad scientist?”
“What are you, some kind of glorified bloodhound for the government?”
“Ouch." He recoiled as if stung. “I’m a collector, that makes me a free agent. We just do a lot of contracts with the UEF.”
“Still too close with the powers that be for my comfort.”
“Wow, you really don’t like the Federation, huh?”
“Should I?”
Parker wasn’t sure how to respond to that and so he merely stuffed his hands into his pockets and remained quiet.
“I’m not big on military dictatorships. Historically, they don’t work out too well.”
“Oh good, crazy conspiracy talk. It is not a dictatorship.”
“Oh?" Nexus leaned in close and stared into Parker's eyes. "Do you remember voting for Marshall Yao? I know I didn’t."
 “No, but it doesn’t work like that. I was born on Earth, I know what the situation is. The sovereign nations of the planet still have their leaders, who are voted in democratically and extend their resources and administration the UEF. It’s a joint, conglomeration of Earth’s elected officials.”
Nexus laughed aloud and mocked wiping away a tear. “You’re from the military academy, aren’t you?”
Parker retreated a step. “Y-yeah... How’d you figure that out?”
“You recited that like the most stiff-backed military boy I’ve ever met.” Nexus crossed her arms and smiled, the first time Parker had ever seen it. “How much influence do Earth’s elected officials have out here? In the colonies? You know, where over 90% of the human population lives? The UEF is run by soldiers with limitless power and resources. To answer your question, yeah, I really don’t like the Federation. You and I are, we’re not going to be friends. So go home.”
“If we’re being fair, you’re only half right. I’m an ex-cadet. My friend and I dropped out last month.”
“What are you still doing here?”
“You have a funny way of showing gratitude. You looked like you needed my help, so I thought I’d do you a favour.”
Nexus rolled her eyes. “Well, I didn’t need your help. Never have, never will. Now shoo." She waved him off and turned to head back into her apartment.
“Stop doing that with your eyes. It’s like it’s your favourite facial expression.”
“Yes, actually. Nothing else summarizes my disdain and exasperation with the rest of sentient life quite so effectively and succinctly as a swift roll of the old eyeballs.”
“Look, I just want to see what shorted out the power. My partner told me to figure out what happened, so that’s what I’m gonna do.”
“Oh, a likely excuse.”
“Excuse for what? Seeing your filthy apartment? Yeah, I’m just dying to get a chance at that.”
“Hey!” She whirled on him and jabbed his broad chest with her finger. “My lab is great. You wish you could see my lab.”
“So you are a scientist then?”
Nexus sighed and shook her head.
Just then, there came a loud whir and the lights in the hallway came flickering back on. Nexus of course said a silent prayer of thanks to Joey the maintenance guy. 
“Fine,” she said with a sigh. “But only so you can validate my genius.”
Gesturing for Parker to follow, Nexus slipped her hands into the pockets of her lab coat and lead the way into her apartment.
Immediately he found himself staring at the huge, ring-shaped gate, with the previously detected puddle of vomit pooled on the platform. He took a moment to briefly investigate the numerous clusters of mechanical gadgets all around the room and stuffed into numerous crates, but inevitably his attention returned to the central machine.
“Pretty impressive, right?” said Nexus, smirking with pride.
“Amazing. It’s definitely a big metal ring that you puked on for some reason,” Parker concluded.
“No, jackass, it’s a sub-space portal generator.”
“That you puked on. And did not clean up. Gross”
“This was a waste of time. Get out.”
“Alright, alright, alright, hold on. Maybe if you turned it on, I’d be a little more impressed. Go on, start it up, I swear I will marvel at your brilliance.”
“Just sit tight, you sub-human moron.” She grabbed hold of the control panel and tapped in the start-up sequence. The machine gave a loud warble and then went silent. Nothing happened. “Wh-what?” she stammered. She hammered the sequence in once more and again, nothing happened. She growled and punched the terminal with her tiny fist, accomplishing nothing save for hurting her knuckles.
With a groan, Nexus dropped backward into her chair and buried her face in her hands. “Urrrgh... It’s broken.”
“Oh, wow. This must be embarrassing.”
“Shut up!"
“Don’t worry, I shall comfort you.”
Her eye twitched ever so slightly in frustration. “Just minutes ago, it was a technical marvel. A masterpiece of engineering and a breakthrough in sub-space physics." Her voice rose to a whine and she kicked her feet at the ground.
“But then it shorted out the local power grid and fried itself. Right?”
“Yes, exactly." Nexus threw her hands up and leaning backed, her chair wheeling away several feet.
“I believe you.”
“You do?” Nexus asked, crossing her legs and giving him a sideways glance.
“Yes. Perhaps we can discuss your research over dinner and drinks.”
“Oh please no, not this again.”
“Again with that,” Parker replied, taken aback. “Are you broken, lady? Have you seen me?” Parker lifted his shirt up over his face to reveal sculpted abdominal muscles and rock-solid pectorals. “Are you looking? I can’t tell if you’re looking.”
“Astounding."
“Right?” 
“I have mastered time-travel.”
“Wait, what?” he said, peeking over his shirt.
“I have transported an ancient neanderthal into my lab. Now if only I could repeat the process, I’ll be the greatest scientist to have ever lived.” Her tone had gradually drifted into biting and sarcastic. “Now put your shirt down, idiot.”
“No, I think I’ll just keep it up here until you appreciate my hard work. Do you know how many sit-ups I had to do to get these?”
Nexus, without saying a word, wheeled her chair over to her desk and grabbed a big, hand-held device which, to Parker, looked an awful lot like a misshapen handgun. With a cold glare, she pointed it straight at his chest and wrapped her finger around the trigger.
“That wouldn’t happen to be an ion pistol, would it?”
“I dunno. Do I seem like the type to build a death-ray and keep it just lying on my desk?”
Parker responded by calmly lowering his shirt and tucking it in. “So... Are you a student here? From one of the science academies?” 
“Nope,” she said curtly as she pushed herself out of her chair and slotted a pod into her espresso machine. “Left that intellectual black-hole years ago.”
“Oh good. Please explain why the most respected scientific institutions in the galaxy are beneath you.”
“Gladly." Nexus retrieved a steaming mug from the machine and took a long drink from it before continuing. “The academies are owned by the Federation. Guess what use the Federation sees for science?”
Parker shrugged again. He found he was doing that a great deal lately.
“Weapons. Of the mass destruction variety. And I have too much respect for science to see it used to kill people.”
“They’re not that bad. The UEF has done a lot to establish humanity in the wider galaxy, in a very short amount of time. We went from one planet to over thirty colonies in just fifty years after its formation. Hey, do you mind if I get a cup of that?” Parker asked, pointing toward her coffee machine.
“Yes,” she shot back. “I’ll never say they aren’t ambitious. But they’re also a bunch of pussies.”
“Uhm, excuse me?”
“You heard me. As soon as humanity found itself in a bigger universe, surrounded by bigger aliens, capable of vast psionic feats or with technologically superior hardware, we got scared, like the whimpering bitches we are. Now the UEF spends all its resources and time overcompensating and pretty soon it’s going to lead to trouble.”
“You’ve really thought your insane conspiracy theories out, haven’t you?”
“Remind me again, why I let a stupid prick like you into my apartment?” she asked, casually sipping her espresso.
“Your verbal abuse is starting to sting just a bit,” Parker replied, holding his fingertips a scant centimetre apart.
Nex returned her attention to her work. She kneeled down beside her sub-space gate and opened a panel on the side of the base. “It’s almost as if I didn’t want you here or something.”
“I’m just curious about all this science stuff you’re doing in here. It’s kind of... cool.”
“Oh yeah, I’m absolutely convinced that’s the only reason you’re here. All the passes you made at me were born of scientific curiosity.”
“Well I didn’t say it was the only reason,” he added just loud enough for Nexus to hear. “So what are you gonna do about this mess?”
“Not much I can do,” Nex said as she pulled some fried electrical components out of the machine. “I have the spare parts around here to repair what was damaged, but if I don’t get my hands on an industrial strength, energy core regulator, it’ll just happen again.”
Parker stepped up behind her, looking over her shoulder at her work. “Alright, well you just happen to live in Pantainos City, the centre of science and education in Federation space. You can’t find one of those?”
She tossed a handful of frayed, blackened wires into a nearby bin before peering back at the persistent intruder. “Oh no, I know exactly where to find one. Problem is, the merchant with his hands on it is a taurus.”
Parker nodded, immediately understanding. “Not the easiest to do business with. And where might I find this taurus merchant?”
“Excuse me?” Nexus asked with a raised brow.
“Just tell me where to find the part you need and I’ll go pick it up for you. Provided you cover the cost when I get back.”
Nexus rose to her feet and crossed her arms over her chest. “You’re serious?”
Parker replied with naught but a smirk.
“Alright then. If you think your dumb-ass can get a hold of it when I couldn’t, you’re on. You bring me a Model-E05 energy core regulator by the end of the day and I’ll consider letting you hang around. But if you can’t, you never bother me again. Deal?”
“Shake on it?” Parker extended his hand.
“I believe we already discussed my policy on touching?”
“Right, no touching. Got it,” he said as he swiftly retracted his hand and stuck it in his pocket.
“It’s a stall in the East Market, run by a taurus named Zakka. Not hard to find, he’s one of the only non-human merchants in the area.”
“Give me two hours.”
She scoffed at the thought, but Parker left with a confident smile.
Finally alone to her own devices, Nexus set about cleaning up the mess that had been made of her machine. She spent close to an hour rewiring and repairing her gate (along with mopping up some vomit) before passing out in her chair again. She wasn’t sure how long she was asleep for but judging by the fact that she was still exhausted by the time she awoke, she guessed it wasn’t long.
She was startled awake, bolting upright with wide eyes and fumbling hands as the door swung open and slammed against the wall. She just narrowly avoided falling out of her chair.
Parker stormed into the room with his prize held high above his head, the very device that Nexus had been pursuing.“Behold! A Model E-whatever, energy something-somethinger!”
“Wha-whuh-whuh!?” she mumbled, still waking up as her heart rate returned to a controllable pace. “How did you-? Why did you-? What the hell are you doing, barging into my apartment!”
“Don’t want people barging in, you should’ve locked the door.”
“That is not how it works! Now hand that over,” she said, reaching greedily for the regulator in Parker’s hands.
“Awww, you’re adorable when you beg. Alright cutie, here’s your trinket.”
“Shut your stupid whore-mouth!” She yanked it from his hands and examined it. It only took a cursory glance for her to recognize the model. It was the exact one. “Good,” she thought, as she had been fairly sure that even if Parker had been able to acquire the device, he’d have screwed it up and gotten the wrong one. “How?” She looked to him with a curiosity and a tone that almost edged upon gratitude.
“I stole it,” he replied bluntly.
“You did what!? Oh... Oh no. Oh no no no no no no no! We’re going to have a huge angry taurus beating down my door any minute now.” She then started to ramble incoherently and protectively hugged her new toy.
“Kidding,” he blurted out, hands thrown up defensively. “I was kidding.”
A huge wave of relief washed over Nexus and she let out a long, happy sigh.
“All I really did was act like I didn’t want it.”
“It was not that easy.”
“Yeah, it was. Taurus are like children, not fond of sharing their toys and sometimes, they want something just because they know you want it. To them, that makes it more valuable. So I acted like I wanted something else, some old ship engines. I mentioned a passing interest in the regulator and he offered to toss it in for a fair deal. At the last minute, it turned out I was short on credits, I put together a lie about bank fees and late payments for my work. All I could afford was the regulator. Zakka was either going to sell it to me, in hopes that I come back for the bigger, pricier parts later, or I’d leave and probably head to another shop next time. Unfortunately for Zakka, I won’t be coming back.”
“Wow. That’s actually kind of smart,” said Nexus. “How’d you manage that without a brain?”
“Hilarious. I told you, I’m not totally useless. Now for my reward, I’ll accept payment in the form of dinner dates. Nothing fancy, I’m not high maintenance.”
Nexus groaned and pressed her palm to her forehead. “I immediately regret this decision.”
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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This is some art of one of my favourite DnD characters. Orserrakha (Serra, as her friends call her) the sweet-natured orc gladiator and bouncer at The Falcon’s Roost Tavern. She spends her days looking after her trouble making companions and suplexing her foes in the arena. Her ultimate goal is to become arena grand champion by toppling the reigning champ, the man that bested her father for the title a decade ago. The outfit is designed to be reminiscent of professional wrestling as well as Roman gladiator attire and the art-style is inspired by SNES era RPG sprites. I have more for the other members of her party and I’ll probably upload those later.
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Nexus Notes - Chapter One
"I already told you, you big dumb bastard, that energy core regulator isn't worth 3,000 Credits. It's not even close!" The young woman slammed her hands down on the clerk's table. Her eyes set in a narrow glare, she scowled between loose strands of bright red hair that fell in front of her face.
Behind the ramshackle stand of partially gnawed scrap metal stood the enormous shopkeeper.  The device she so coveted was tightly gripped in his huge, clawed hand. Dangling cables swayed to and fro and the polished chrome casing reflected the blinding glare of the sun. 
The taurus were the inhabitants of the planet Kakataka in the Aldebaran star system and the largest, most cantankerous of all sentient species in the galaxy. They were also notorious hoarders.
It erupted in a flurry of guttural growls, its ruddy brown scales rapidly scraping and clattering against one another to create a series of accompanying clicks. The chattering noises he emitted elicited a whir of life from a machine strapped to his broad, tapered chest. The gadget lit up and started to translate in a low, robotic voice.
"You don't know what you're talking about, Nexus. This a rare treasure. There is nothing else like it on Pantainos."
"Zakka, you are so full of shit," she said, as she reached into her lab-coat and withdrew a small pair of oval-shaped glasses. Slipping them over her nose, she peered past the imposing, alien shopkeeper to the staggering pile of discarded mechanical trinkets and components behind his kiosk. “I can see two more in the back from here!” Frantically, she removed her glasses and stuffed them back into her coat.
"3,000 credits or no regulator." 
The young woman stood up as tall as she could and crossed her arms over her chest in her best attempt to look authoritative. She was short and scrawny by human standards, not to mention leaning on a cane and absolutely minuscule compared to the seven-foot monster before her. "Listen here, you idiot, you have no idea what that's worth to me and you're just going to eat it anyway! So hand it over for a fair price and stop impeding scientific progress."
Without warning, the shopkeeper opened his jaws for the first time, the lower portion of his face splitting into two and spreading out in a slavering, triangular maw. Then, he chomped into the device in his hand. His shredding teeth crunched and tore the metal apart with ease as he ripped off a chunk and swallowed it before hurling the remnants straight at Nexus's head.
With only a moment of shock, she narrowly ducked under the incoming projectile. The move sent her stumbling and she barely managed to catch herself with her cane to avoid an untimely fall, face-first onto the cold steel ground. If the yelling earlier hadn't drawn the attention of the other merchants and customers that populated the market, this certainly would. Within moments, Zakka had dunked one of his whopping lizard paws into a pile of scrap parts and used it as a shovel to hurl yet more junk at the girl.
"Whoa! Is this how you treat all your regulars?" Head held low, she scurried away from the bellowing Taurus. Gears and batteries skittered across the ground and peppered her lab coat. One unfortunate stray something or other even bounced harmlessly, but no less annoying, off of her forehead. "Zakka, you Lunatic," she yelled as she departed the market square.
She looked back over her shoulder more than once on her way back to her apartment, just to make sure there wasn't an angry alien reptile behind her. It wasn't until she was nearly three blocks away that she stopped to catch her breath, leaning against the wall of a building and wiping her brow with the sleeve of her coat. Just from that short run, her muscles ached and her chest burned with exertion. "I left my apartment for that damn regulator and the dumbass took a bite right out of it," she said between gasps. “Still, I hope nobody calls the police on him. He may be a seven-foot, spiky asshole, but he’s still got the best stuff in the entire city. And perhaps more importantly, he doesn’t ask ridiculous questions like, ‘what are you gonna do with this?’ or ‘do you have a license for this highly unstable radioactive material?’”
She spent nearly a minute bent over and panting before rising back up and fanning out her coat to relieve some of the intense heat. “What I would do for a breeze right now. Just a little one.”
Pantainos City, built in the most habitable, lush part of the colony planet for which it was named, was in Nexus's own words, "Too damn hot in the Summer to be conducive to intellectual pursuits." So then why, she often wondered to herself, had the United Earth Federation decided to build its premier academies here? Pantainos was one of the UEF's earliest and most prosperous colonies and had become a grand centre for training and education in the past several decades. Academies and accompanying campuses for humanity's most prestigious schools in the fields of science and military had developed here and dominated much of the city. The best and brightest across all of UEF space were sent here to learn.
But far from the glamorous universities and labs at the city's centre, Nexus walked along the ill-tended streets at the fringes of the sprawling metropolis as she made her way home with a scowl on her face. Not that her neighbours could tell the difference between her usual scowl and today’s, extra perturbed scowl. 
The moment she stepped into the lobby of her apartment and felt the cool, temperature-controlled air hit her face, she let out a long sigh. The familiar sights of the dusty floor, the seemingly permanent ‘out of order’ sign on the secondary elevator and the ever-expanding patch of mould on the far wall were just about the only means through which she could differentiate this and every other apartment building on the black. Nexus whispered a silent thanks to the closest thing she knew to a religious figure, Joey the maintenance guy, that one of the two lifts remained operational. If given the choice between the stairs and sleeping on the crumbling bench in the lobby, Nexus would have to spend some time seriously weighing her options.
With only a brief stutter of resistance, the elevator ascended to the second floor and deposited her in the hallway to find yet another annoyance. "Great. If the heat and the taurus weren't bad enough, some ass-clown piled a bunch of boxes in front of my door!" she thought. For some reason or another, cardboard shipping boxes of varying sizes, piled six high, stood right up against the entrance to her apartment.
Without another thought, she stomped forward and delivered a swift, hard kick with a flip-flop clad foot to the side of the box mountain. Much to her chagrin, the pile barely moved. So, she took a step back and shoulder checked it with the entire, fairly insubstantial, weight of her body and this time she sent it tumbling to the floor with an appeasing clatter. She grinned down at her handiwork, hoping there was something both fragile and valuable within.
The commotion brought someone running almost immediately as a man stepped out of the open door across the hall, looking concerned. His expression promptly shifted to surprise and confusion as he spied Nexus standing over the upended pile of his belongings.
If he put on a uniform, he'd look like he walked right out of a military recruitment ad for the Federation. She thought immediately of a very large and very stupid dog. He was like a man-shaped golden retriever and just as blonde.
"Did you knock over my boxes?"
"Oops," she replied with a shrug as she reached for the keycard in her pocket.
"The hell, lady? I keep important stuff in those."
"Well then maybe you shouldn't keep 'em in front of my door." By this point, she was already daydreaming about punching him in his stupidly handsome face. Though she was pretty sure she’d break her hand on that square jaw. 
He furrowed his brow and attempted to speak up but upon noticing the cane in her hand, he suddenly became very stiff and cast his eyes toward the floor. "Uhm... Sorry," he said as he kneeled and started to gather up his things, shuffling them out of the way for her. "So that's your apartment then?"
"Yep, 37B," she said with the absolute most disinterest she could muster while jabbing a thumb toward the numbers posted behind her.
With an armful of boxes, he stood back and extended his free hand toward her. "I'm just moving in next door. I'm Parker Walsh."
Her eyes drifted back and forth between his hand and his face for several seconds. "Are you suggesting I make physical contact with you?"
"Generally speaking, an offer to shake hands with someone would imply that, yes." Yet more confusion was starting to creep into his voice.
"Ew.” Rolling her eyes, she turned, swiped her card over the electronic lock and stepped into her apartment.
"Ouch," he shot back. "Can I at least have your name?"
"Nexus," she said as she slammed the door behind her.
"There is no way that is your real name," he yelled with his lips scant inches from the door but to no response.
"Parker?" said another man, sticking his head out of the open apartment. He was thinner and less chiselled than his friend but with a sly, fox-like countenance. "What are you doing out here?"
Parker shrugged. "Neighbour girl kicked over our boxes."
"And so you quit unpacking to come out here and flirt with her?"
"Not at first."
"But you did flirt with her?"
"She didn't even give me a chance. It’s just not fair."
"My heart aches for you, brother. Now get back to work. We need everything set up by tomorrow."
"On it." With boxes in hand, he started back toward his apartment, taking one glance at the door behind him as he went. "Well then. See you around, Nex."
The moment she stepped inside her apartment and flicked on the lights, she felt her legs start to shake. She grumbled softly, finally allowing herself to wince at the constant pain she felt in her muscles and eased her body into the wheelchair lying in wait by the door.
Inside her apartment, where one might normally find furniture, decorations or just about anything, Nexus had cables, power generators and several large processors stacked against the wall. In the corner sat a desk with a pair of computers, razor-thin glass panes mounted on swivelling stands. Nexus produced a third, smaller device from inside her coat. With a few swipes on the surface, her chair wheeled itself over to the desk. Once situated, she began sliding her fingers across the dual screens and they came alive with images and information. Her eyes darting back and forth between them. Within arm's reach of her chair sat the single greatest scientific achievement of mankind, an espresso machine. The divine tool was accompanied by a mountain of discarded flavour pods, generally counting among the excessively sweet variety. Though that didn’t stop Nexus from addition several more teaspoons of those godly white granules once the machine had finished its business.
All this technology (save the espresso machine) was connected to a strange, ceiling-high object in the middle of the room. The device occupied the vast majority of the available floor-space. It appeared to be a huge mechanical ring of some kind; that stood eight feet high and across. At the moment, it was deactivated.
She looked upon the centrepiece of her chamber briefly, shook her head, and returned to her work. "Damn Zakka, always a pain in my ass."
It wasn't long before she noticed she had an update on her post on the local University forums. She wasn't exactly a student, but where else was she going to share her hypotheses?
"Oh fantastic, this idiot," she said with mock excitement when she saw who posted. "Hello, Student 681966, a man so boring he uses his student ID as his screen name." Nex skimmed over his latest dull refutation of her work and rolled her eyes. 
"Your ridiculous idea of a potential intersystem artificial intelligence program has no bearing in modern computer science. Even the most simple-minded of your species is aware that software is limited by hardware.
You persist in the idea that your entirely theoretical sub-space processor would alleviate this issue and allow a program to move freely between systems, but this has in itself a litany of issues. There is no evidence to support the idea that information can travel freely between sub-space and normal space. How do you propose such a device would maintain a fixed location within sub-space? In addition, the power requirements would be astronomical.
Fixed sub-space pockets have never been found to be a remote possibility and tests have resulted in failure, every single time. The only possible use for sub-space is point A to B travel through fixed gates."
With a guttural groan of frustration, Nexus swept a hand back through her sweat-matted hair. "This guy has no imagination."
Reclining in her chair steepling her fingers, Nex pondered the list of possible rebuttals. Everything from explaining the potential power of a flywheel energy storage system in the absolute vacuum of sub-space or reference to the sub-space tests performed by Earth scientists decades earlier that implied the possibility of direct access to sub-space beyond simple two-way passages. However, when she received a sudden response from a rather important contact, she decided to let her opposition stew for a little while.
Anxiously, she opened the message with a tap of her finger and pulled the contents up on-screen.
"I have acquired the information you requested."
That alone was all she needed to send her mind alight with fireworks. There was some more afterward about releasing the hold on the promised payments and how to contact him again. She absent-mindedly tapped out an affirmative response and delved into the attached files with all haste possible.
A few weeks ago she'd contacted someone who claimed to have worked on some classified Federation experiments performed on Pantainos. She'd been making a few inquiries about them and they had become a subject of great interest to her, even though they never got off the ground. What they were attempting to develop and why it failed is still unknown to this day, but Nexus's digging had told her that it had something to do with personal-sized sub-space gates, as opposed to the massive rings that transported ships across the galaxy.
"I was right," she muttered to herself after nearly twenty minutes of poring over the contents. "Schematics, test results, dates and locations."
She gleaned from the notes that they had managed to design a miniaturized sub-space gate, though from what she could find, it wasn't able to sustain itself before collapsing after only a few seconds. Several pages appeared to be missing, including details of who was involved and the purpose of the experiments, but all the technical data she needed was right here in these files.
Again she gazed upon the massive mechanism in the centre of her apartment, this time with new excitement and rattling nerves. She bit her lip and considered her options before giving a small nod of affirmation. "To hell with the regulator, I've got work to do."
She wheeled over to the huge ring and pushed herself out of her chair. For hours she consulted the new specifications and adjusted her machine. Multiple trips were made back and forth between the device and her computer and she went through around a dozen cups of coffee and sixty teaspoons of sugar. She scoured every crate of spare parts she had lying around (which was no small number) and the clamour of her tools filled the apartment until the early morning.
She awoke with a start around noon the next day. She had passed out in her wheelchair with a collection of her tools sprawled across her lap and around her wheels. She yawned, grumbled and rubbed the sleep from eyes shadowed by black bags.
Blinking rapidly, Nexus looked at her device, consulted the schematics and then back to the device. It was a match. Better than a match even. She felt she'd improved on the old schematics. "I did it?" She brushed back a tangle of red hair and chuckled to herself. "Of course I did it."
Still coming to, she mumbled out a few commands. "Computer, begin recording a new log now. " A small robot, not unlike an ambulatory tripod, came alive. There was a lens built into the machine’s head, which promptly veered in Nex’s direction.
She pushed herself to her feet and stumbled toward the terminal mounted at the edge of her ring-like device. "Sub-space portal NG Model-1, test 27, sans energy core regulator. Upgraded system to further compensate for the Verdricci effect. Added new subsystems to target a specific location within sub-space, based on new research documents. No more firing off randomly. Begin activation now."
Triumphantly, she punched in the key sequence to start up the machine and listened with glee as it whirred. Lights flickered on around the ring and sparks coursed across the empty space in the middle.
Staring into her would-be sub-space gate, Nexus's hands shook excitedly. "Alright UEF, let's see what you were up to."
The machine's laboured noises intensified and she could feel a charged tingle on her skin. Then, all at once, a disc of torn space appeared inside the ring, contained and stable. Her smile vanished, only to be replaced by a slack jaw and wide eyes. The sight beyond the portal sent shivers through her body and made her stomach churn. Floating in the vast emptiness of sub-space, was a cylindrical device surrounded by lifeless human corpses.
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grumpyalpacaman · 4 years
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Hey there Tumblr, I believe it’s time we became acquainted with one another. I’m a fat hillbilly, rapidly approaching thirty and I write books for fun and hopefully money in some hypothetical dream future. That’s where you come in. I’m looking to refine my craft as a writer and feedback is really important to that goal. With that in mind, I’m going to be primarily posting chapters of my books here along with art and any other creative endeavours I may pursue in the future. Maybe a few DnD stories and other anecdotes I feel like sharing.
The book I’ll be posting for the for now is Nexus Notes. It’s a sci-fi/humour/adventure story about a scientific prodigy with a terminal illness, crippling depression and no friends. I know what you’re thinking, that DOES sound like a hilarious and exciting situation, rife with potential. Well, stick with me, it’s really not as dour as it sounds. We got lasers, we got a sardonic heroine, we got telepathic alien fish people. We got fun stuff, I swear. If any of that sounds like something you’d be into, stick around and give it a read. I’d really appreciate that.
A little background. This story started life as essentially a sci-fi Dungeons&Dragons game. Our own little Mass Effect/Star Wars/Star Trek/etc… campaign setting. Five teenagers sitting around in a basement, rolling dice. Riveting stuff. But as we played, the universe we built started to take shape and some of the characters really started to grow on me. This is NOT that story. As anyone who plays tabletop RPGs can attest, the stories that arise from them are usually too scattered and unfocused to make a great book. Doubly so when all the players are teenagers. But it formed the inspiration for this universe and its characters. Nexus Notes started as a fun side project for my friends. But the end result is the most proud I’ve ever been of my writing.
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