goldenvtears

[goldenvtears]

I am leery of your brown eyes,

seeking for the soul that was yet to be found.

I am leery of the clouds of your pride,

masking the fire caught in a blink of my empty eyes / burning the image I crafted of your laughter/

clouds that choke the name I was born with,

the name I was yet to become, the name I scream when I look towards the sun.

I am leery of how you seek for my body,

the body I was looking for years,

told my baby that I'd be back to get it

before your white hands, said "like real soon",

but I didn't come back because you held my hand tight.

I am leery of your presence under my skin,

swimming in the waters of the bitterness

I pour out as tears, how do I let you go?

I am leery of the love you had for me,

of its utter complexion, unbroken shade of power.

I am leery of my life and of its essence,

the hatred I have for you - glory.

#aesthetic #art #poetry #love #lgbtq #pain #sadness

[goldenvtears]

Do you remember the day we knew we had it all?

That day we played pretend.

You were a shadow,

I was someone you used to know.

We played whilst I wispered my last prayer,

I was afraid that, in the attempt to chase you

following the traces of sunlight, I would run

miles just to jump off the cliff.

But my voice was dimming at my gaze,

so I ran weeping in silence, I needed to stay alive.

I could hear a sharp sound

when a sudden coldness grazed my skin.

It might have been the laughter of my angels,

I really don't know.

But I remember, I could hear you calling upon the Lord, one last time. I will never know what happened next, but when I woke up/

Was I a joke to you?

What game are you playing, do you think I'm a fool?

I know how you hated shouting, and I was scared too.

I think that day I needed to feel protected,

Cause I knew my angels fell.

And for those who reached this day/this end,

this was the day I went, and she came back.

#aesthetic #art #poetry #depressing shit #sadness #tw suicice

[goldenvtears]

The awaking of the soul/

The bleeding of the memories/

Let I dry my tears/ but I can't read properly.

Those words are everywhere,

landing on my skin like snowflakes in winter/

everlasting winter.

Dear mama, I do fear for my life.

I can see them sharping their stares with a knife.

Look at those pure white hands following me

with no grace and no shame

I didn't know that the colour white

would stain my pride,

wasn't i the dirty one?

Dear mama, please hold me tight.

Let's say a little prayer before i take my daily white bread.

I think it is a sin to nourish my body

to let my skin die, but my church never told me that.

So please pray for your child,

a child who sleeps on the interrupted history of her story.

I made my people proud by laying my eyes on cold pages,

I made my grades by erasing my pigment.

God, let I breath the freedom of my ancestors,

who lay peacefully in the sea with chains on their feet.

But the air i breathe reminds me of who i really am,

so i'll just sleep on the school bus and dream about the quiet you.

it has been always you/

no sound at all, unholy silence.

#aesthetic #art #poetry #sadness #black lives matter

[goldenvtears]

My name is everlasting tree,

everlasting like my fear/

The fear is to staying alive whilst dying,

letting your words sew my mouth shut.

The more I walk the steps of the ground

nourished by the blood of my ancestors,

the more their tears get colder and sharper

against my skin. You know, the rainy weather.

And my soul smiled when she last cried

upon my mothers, grating her the serenity

of a life she will never live/

gifting her the vengeance of

the rage we will lay upon your pale eyes.

They will know our names.

You shall survive, my child,

for we are aware of the iniquities

of these white marble masks.

We shall survive, my beloved,

for we own this to our mothers,

who art in Heaven.

#poetry #aesthetic #depressing shit #sadness #love

[goldenvtears]

the art of collecting white feathers

I've mastered with time, due to lack of love.

These feathers have no value, but they are heavy

and soft at the same time.

So when you stole my soul from me,

I used the feathers you left me to replace that void.

All amassed together, they collected my tears,

hid them somewhere I would never find them.

So at some point I wanted to go;

she went, but I came back that day in October.

#poetry #aestheitcs #poemsbyme #short poem #tw suicice #depressing shit #sadness #love #anxiety #art #hope #healing