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I Am SO Very Thankful For Support

I was reminded yet again when I spent a few days with other bereaved parents several weeks ago how very, very, VERY helpful it has been to do just that. In the earliest days after Dominic ran ahead, a couple of local moms whose children were also in Heaven came to see me. How I hung on every word! How I longed for a glimmer of hope that I, too, could somehow survive this devastation! It was…

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#bereaved parent #bereaved parent conference #bereaved parent groups #child loss #Dominic #encouragement #grief #grief groups #grief journey #support

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Does Today Feel Like a "Holiday Hangover"?

Sometimes the day or the week after a holiday seems extra hard. Deflated. Exhausted. Weepy. Irritable. Discontented. All words that can describe a heart once the dishes are washed and the celebration ended. Some of y’all probably woke up thinking, “I did pretty good on Mother’s Day” only to be blindsided by the tears you managed to hide and the grief you managed to stuff. That’s OK. It…

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#authenticity #bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #coping strategies #Dominic #grief #grief journey #holiday hangover #holidays #mental health #Mother&039;s Day

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Mother's Day 2024: How Do You Make it Through?

When it first happened all I could think about was getting through a minute, then a day and then all the decisions and days leading up to a funeral or memorial service.   There’s no road map.   Even when others come alongside (and many, many did!) there’s just no easy way to navigate that part of the journey. And then I realized that in addition to all the “regular” days that absolutely,…

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#bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #compassion #Dominic #grief #grief journey #grief triggers #grief waves #Mother&039;s Day

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Mother's Day 2024: From the Child Not Here on Mother's Day

I post this around Mother’s Day every year since my daughter, Fiona, wrote it in the voice of her brother who is in Heaven. It helps my heart sort the mixed emotions that this day stirs up. I’m not ONLY a bereaved mother. I’m a mother and grandmother of earthbound children too. I’m grateful for all of them. So very, very grateful. ❤ Melanie My daughter, Fiona, wrote this several years ago,…

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#bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #children #compassion #Dominic #grief #heaven #love #mother #Mother&039;s Day

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Mother's Day 2024: A Letter to My Living Children*

I shared this for the first time seven years ago. Before my mother’s illness and death, before the frighteningly early arrival of our little Captain and the less-frightening and less early arrival of his brother, LT, before an overseas deployment, a destructive hurricane, Covid19, and too many other stressful events to list. I have watched my kids meet every challenge-sometimes with grace,…

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#authenticity #bereaved mother #bereaved parent #bereaved siblings #child loss #children #Dominic #grief #Mother&039;s Day #truth

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Mother's Day 2024: Holidays Can Be Hard...

This will be the eleventh Mother’s Day since Dominic ran ahead to Heaven. Every year has been different because families continue to grow and change and the world turns and life marches on. Every year presents unique challenges and particular paths that must be navigated anew. It’s always an emotional roller coaster. Read the rest here: Holidays Can Be Hard-What To Do About Mother’s Day

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#bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #coping skills #coping strategies #Dominic #grief #holidays #Mother&039;s Day

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Mother's Day 2024: A Peek into This Mama's Thoughts

I know how tender these days are for bereaved moms leading up to the corporate outpouring of love and admiration for mothers. It’s a blessing and a curse for those of us who have one or more children in Heaven. A precious opportunity to remember the joy and beauty of holding and loving a child of our heart but also a reminder that one is no longer within arm’s length. It’s OK (MORE than OK) if…

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#bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #Dominic #grief #grief journey #grief waves #international bereaved mothers day #memories #Mother&039;s Day

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Truth: Even the Worst Day of My Life Only Lasted 24 Hours

It’s been just over ten years since Dominic left us suddenly, unexpectedly, and without warning. Thankfully my heart has healed enough that every day is no longer filled with tears. But there are still hard days, still challenging seasons. And when they feel like they might last forever, I remind myself that even the worst day of my life was just twenty-four hours. Night fell, the earth…

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#bereaved parent #child loss #Dominic #God #grief #grief anniversaries #grief journey #hope #mercy #promises #strength #truth

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Grief Journey: Flashbacks

I originally shared this years ago-when grief was newer and nearly every day meant tears. I’m stronger now and better able to carry this load called “child loss”. But if I’m honest, the missing is greater, the longing keener than it was in the early days when memories were still fresh and easily retrieved. Still, there are places and things that draw my heart right back to the fresh faced…

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#authenticity #bereaved parent #child loss #Dominic #grief #grief education #grief journey #love #memories #truth

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International Bereaved Mother's Day 2024: An Open Letter to My Fellow Sisters in Loss

Dear Mama, I know that you never-in your wildest imagination-thought you would need a day set aside for your broken heart and your empty arms.   Who thinks when they learn a new life is growing inside that this same life might be cut short?  What heart is brave enough to consider the possibility?  Yet here you are.   I’m so, so sorry.   But there are a few things I want you to know.  Read…

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#bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #compassion #Dominic #encouragement #grief #International bereaved mother&039;s day #Mother&039;s Day #support

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Ten Years: Still Learning to Fly

These years since Dominic ran ahead to heaven feel like instrument flying. I’m in the clouds. The landmarks I’ve used for navigation all my life are obscured and sometimes I can’t even tell if I’m upside down or right side up. I don’t know if I’m going fast enough to stay in the air or if I’m about to stall.  I’m tempted to use my feelings to determine true north and to decide on a course of…

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#authenticity #bereaved parent #child loss #Dominic #grief #grief education #grief journey #learning #lessons #navigation

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Oh, Sweet Mama! Your Child Matters.

I know many who read this blog belong to closed online bereavement groups. That’s a beautiful thing- a place where we can share our pain with others who understand it in a judgement-free zone. We often post photos and our child(ren)’s story in the closed groups. But today I want to take a moment to provide a public forum for anyone who wishes to take advantage of it. Read the rest here: Your…

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#bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #children #Dominic #grief #holidays #International bereaved mother&039;s day #love #Mother&039;s Day

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International Bereaved Mother's Day 2024

International Bereaved Mother’s Day is observed the Sunday before Mother’s Day in the United States.  This year it’s next Sunday, May 5, 2024. I didn’t even know such a day existed until I was a mom that needed it. For those of us who have children in heaven, setting aside a day to acknowledge that unique mother/child relationship is helpful. Read the rest here: International Bereaved…

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#bereaved mother #bereaved parent #child loss #Dominic #grief #grief ambush #grief education #grief journey #grief triggers #holidays #International bereaved mother&039;s day #Mother&039;s Day

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Ten Years: My Season of Sorrow: How a Heart Marks the Days

It’s different for every heart. But each of us who know child loss have a season of grief. It’s so much more than “just” the day our child left for Heaven. For me, it starts in November and runs through the end of May-fully half of every. single. year.   Read the rest here: Season of Grief: How a Heart Marks the Days

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#bereaved parent #child loss #Dominic #grief #grief anniversaries #grief education #grief journey #season of grief

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Ten Years: Not Anti-Social. Just Selectively Social.

While I’ve always been an introvert, I was not nearly the homebody I’ve become since my son ran ahead to heaven. Now staying in, carefully planning social events and obligations, leaving a few days between high-energy gatherings and just generally pacing myself is the norm. I’m truly not anti-social. I love my people. I love seeing them and talking to them. But since there’s only so much…

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#authenticity #bereaved parent #changes #child loss #compassion #Dominic #grief education #grief journey #social anxiety #truth

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Ten Years: For You a Moment, For Me a Lifetime

I used to look at tombstones in cemeteries and do the math between the dates.  I was most focused on how long this person or that person walked the earth.  I still do that sometimes.  But now I do something else as well.  I look to the left and the right to see if the person who ran ahead left parents behind.  My eye is drawn to the solitary stones with the same last name next to a double…

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#authenticity #bereaved parent #child loss #Dominic #grief #grief anniversaries #grief education #grief journey

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Ten Years: Trying To Be a Better Listener

I admit it:  I’m a fixer. It’s probably genetic (won’t mention any names!) but it has been reinforced by training and life experience. When faced with a difficult or messy situation, my mind instantly rolls through an inventory of available resources and possible solutions. And I tended to cut people off mid-sentence with my brilliant (?) plan to save the day. But there are things you just…

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#bereaved parent #child loss #companionship #compassion #Dominic #friends #grief #listening #love