devilwizard

[devilwizard]

Damn. I TOLD the four bros that they would miss work if they were too hungover, but they just kept saying “Pour another shot, Horn Boy!,” and Death and Famine even gave some to their horses.

Now look what happened.

which is definitely not an omen

#devilposting #four horsemen of the apocalypse #death #pestilence #famine #war

[devilwizard]

Interesting that all answers have people behind them already and it’s only been an hour.

If you, too, would like changes minor or drastic to your human body, come on down to the Devil Wizard tower! We are happy to help you get the body you want, and it doesn’t even cost anything! Well, any money.

#wizardposting #devilposting #towerposting #experiments #polls

[devilwizard]

Instructions misleading. Got yelled at for melting a mountain when I went Godzilla on a honeysuckle plant

Oh and if literal grass-touching IS viable, I also advocate for touching invasive grass. Many parks in the US have invasive plant removal volunteer work days. You get some air and some exercise and you can talk to other volunteers if you want or you can just march off into the trees on your own and start wreaking havoc with various hand tools. If you want to do something that is both useful AND destructive, I have found nothing better

#devilposting #no actually tho this is good advice #nuclear breath notwithstanding

[devilwizard]

Back at it, Moses?

#frogs #religion #plagues #moses

[devilwizard]

People are always surprised that the Devil Wizard likes flowers, but that’s just stereotyping! Every good mage knows how to use a flower.

Also flowers pretty.

MAGIC FLOWER SHOP

get your flowers, come get your flowers! flowers for only $0.00, come get your flowers! use em’ for potions, use em’ for curses!

-🥀wilting rose, break the curse before that last petal drops!*

-🌹fresh rose, pretty smell; pretty taste! great in fixation potions!

-🌺pink hibiscus, bring the tropics to you! watch out for sirens, weary traveler!

-🌷blooming tulip, look out: spring ahead! magic april showers come with may flowers!

-🌸silky sakura, this double-edged blade can brew bottles of life of death!**

-🪷lily pad lotus, have you ever wanted to breathe underwater? you can now!***

-🌼lil’ daisy, this flower means innocence but can prove you guilty! best in truth potions!****

-🌻shining sunflower, this bright flower brings great success and felicity in a small bottle!

-🪻blooming hyacinth, in all colors, it means anything from jealousy to sincerity. manipulation in a bottle!*****

*warning: perishable, use quickly

**may be deadly, license required

***possible side effects: gaining adorable frog features (not permanent), turning into an adorable frog (not permanent)

****occasionally admissible in court

*****used for psychological warfare, license required

*warning: perishable, use quickly

**may be deadly, license required

***possible side effects: gaining adorable frog features (not permanent), turning into an adorable frog (not permanent)

****occasionally admissible in court

*****used for psychological warfare, license required

#polls #wizardposting #devilposting

[devilwizard]

We need one for Durge!

Chosen.

#bg3 #baldurs gate 3

[devilwizard]

This is why she’s so cute. She would hate me at first but we would end up dating after discovering our mutual magical genius and lack of strong morals.

At least that’s what my dreams tell me

WE GOT IT

#dungeon meshi #delicious in dungeon #marcille #wizardposting #devilposting

[devilwizard]

WIFEY

#bg3 #minthara #baldur's gate 3 #that’s my WIFE

[devilwizard]

In the Dish (Gladiatorial) Pit

[devilwizard]

BABY I HAVE MISSED YOU!!

Was it fun? Did you burn some villages? Did you kidnap a princess and eat her loyal knight? I have some corrupt nobles on the grill, do you want a snack?

we're fucked

#wizardposting #devilposting #dragons

[devilwizard]

my blog is a safe space for me. the rest of you are in danger i think

[devilwizard]

AWWWW YEEEAAAHH. There are places in my tower that look like this, in homage to that one town in Hell where I had the best blood whiskey of my life and woke up in a suburb of San Francisco.

Khorne Temple

by David Auden Nash

#chaos #khorne #warhammer #devilposting #towerposting

[devilwizard]

This is incredible. I love this, the art is just delightful.

My favorite thing about Raphael is that you get to call him a two pump chump with a tiny devil dick. To his face. And it’s true so he gets so fucking mad it is hilarious. Genuinely one of the best moments in the game

The Devil

#bg3 #raphael bg3 #baldur's gate 3

[devilwizard]

Is it so strange to have a forked tongue? I feel self conscious.

how do you drink from a glass/cup/etc?

- tongue inside the cup

- tongue under the cup

- tongue completely in your mouth

- multiple of the above (forked tongue?)

- none of the above (no tongue?)

- other (explain in tags)

- see results

#devilposting

[devilwizard]

That’s right folks. It’s Bugs Bunny, the one we should all aspire to. Some people think good ol’ JC is the messiah, but I have it on good authority that Bugs Bunny is the Megassiah.

He's genderfluid, he's a transman, he's transfem, he's actually cis and gnc, he's a transwoman but look the exact same as in canon, he's transmasc and wears feminine clothes, he's nonbinary

#bugs bunny #gender memes #messiah #religion #prophecy

[devilwizard]

Actually god made the first of each phenotype in the animal kingdom. I made the rest in a lab cause it drives the guy insane and I can’t stop fucking with him

If creationists don't believe different species are related by ancestry then do they just think God was that redundant? Like the inordinate fondness for beetles joke for real? For a while he just could not stop making slight variations on ants? What was the last ant he came up with then? Did he feel he finally nailed it or did he just finally get sick of it and move on to making eels over and over?

#wizardposting #devilposting #experiments #religion #god #creationism

[devilwizard]

The last time I enchanted a planet to split into bloody yet satisfyingly even meat chunks, I got kicked out of that solar system and booted from the HOA.

Fuck them anyway! Who wants to be on an HOA

卵

#wizardposting #devilposting