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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

First Reformed, 2017 (dir. Paul Schrader)

Nominated for: Best Original Screenplay

ok well uuhhh. so u know how my plan was to watch as many oscar-nominated films this past week as possible before the awards show tonight. well. that uuhhhh didnt happen my dudes. and not for lack of trying either!! i searched high and low for theaters still showing The Favorite and all the show times I could find were while i was still at work, and its not available for rent on amazon video yet. in fact i ran into this problem with a lot of the movies i wanted to see; theaters just werent showing them really. which kinda doesnt make any sense cause u’d think movie theaters would jump at the opportunity to make extra money by showing oscar-nominated movies before the awards show for people who wanna check out the nominees.

one movie i WAS able to find to rent on amazon video was First Reformed, one of a few movies on the noms list who only got one or two noms total. paul schrader, the writer and director of this flick, previously directed timeless classics such as Raging Bull and Taxi Driver. schrader became famous because of these two films for creating fantastic character studies, and i gotta say he lives up to his reputation with First Reformed. its a dark, sometimes surreal, and layered look at the life of a priest who’s been through some tough shit, who now works for a large religious conglomerate preaching at a tiny “tourist trap” church that is known by the other preachers in Abundant Life as the “souvenir shop”. his encounter with the husband of a woman who attends First Reformed sends him spiraling into self-doubt and questioning his own religion, and it all culminates in one final tragic scene that plays out like an emotional punch to the stomach

ill get back to that later but i’ll touch first on the things i really like about this film. acting overall is very solid, but ethan hawke really delivers something fantastic with the character of reverend toller. im kinda surprised he didnt get a best actor nom?? cause i thought he was really great. ethan hawke is one of those actors thats been in a lot of stuff, but i can never remember WHAT i’ve seen him in, i just know hes a good actor who usually delivers solid performances. amanda seyfried is in this too and she did pretty good, her performances for me always kinda range inbetween really good and not so great and here shes more towards the “really good” side.

now another area where this movie got snubbed FOR SURE was the cinematography category cause this movie just looks divine. a lot of use of natural lighting, lots of playing around with shadows and high-contrast lighting, dynamic framing of scenes. and the movie is shot in an interesting aspect ratio of 1.37:1 (almost a perfect square) that i thought was a cool touch, it almost kinda closed things in so ur focus remains on the characters and their actions instead of the setting so much if that makes any sense. idk it was unique and tried some different things which i feel makes it deserving of a cinematography nom but i guess the academy didnt feel the same way??

ok so the nom that it actually DID get, best original screenplay, is without a doubt this movie’s strongest asset. the story is just.... so fucking smart, and so well-paced, dialogue feels natural but still leaves an impact, and the way this movie progresses into pure suspense by the end doesnt really hit u out of nowhere but still is jolting enough to really make u pay attention and sweat a little. like.... holy shit. this movies ending is so intense. its not quite a horror movie but it kinda has some horror movie-ish moments in that it evokes such a visceral response from the viewer. i know it was pretty disturbing for me at least, and it takes a lot to get me truly disturbed.

shit i mean this movie was really good!! after watching it im surprised its only got one nomination. i suppose i could see there being some mixed feelings about how this movie ends, because its pretty surreal and its unclear if what is going on is actually whats happening or if its metaphorical/an illusion/etc. but really thats the only issue i had with it. guh idk man im like kinda expecting tonights awards ceremony to be a bit of a shit show but we’ll see what happens.

well i guess thats it for this years wiener awards review series!! i might do some post-wieners reviews for movies i never got the chance to see, and then ill write a lil blog post about the awards show itself to give y’all my Thots. until next time!!!! drive safe!!!!! text me when u get back!!!!!!!!!

#curly q reviews #road to the oscar mayer weiner awards 2k19 #first reformed #ethan hawke #amanda seyfried #oscars #oscars 2019 #academy awards #drama #suspense #religion #climate change #global warming #movies #paul schrader

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Cold War (original title Zimna wojna), 2018 (dir. Pawel Pawlikowski)

Nominated for: Best Foreign Language Film, Best Director, Best Cinematography

TW SUICIDE MENTION

SPOILER WARNING IM GONNA GIVE AWAY THE ENDING IN THIS REVIEW DONT READ THIS SHIT IF U WANNA WATCH THIS MOVIE OK BYE LOVE U

well shit the oscars is only a week away!!! and ive only seen like half of the movies i wanted to see!!! how does this keep happening to me!!!!!!!!!!!

ok well no use crying over spilled milk im just gonna have to go on a massive movie-watching spree this week and try and consume as many films as possible, and in the meantime lets talk about the movie i saw last night. this is probably the first year ive seen more than one movie in the foreign language film oscar category, mainly just because the foreign language films are typically harder to find unless a local movie theater happens to be playing them as part of an oscars season special event or something. but now that two of our nominees this year have american distributors it makes watching them a lot easier.

going into Cold War i had absolutely no idea what it was about except that its set in Poland during the, well, Cold War. the trailers for this movie didnt really reveal much about the plot or characters, which honestly i kinda prefer with trailers. sometimes they just give away waaaayyy too much and then whats the point of going to see the movie?? i did know beforehand that its a romance so i at least had that expectation.

and well yeah its a romance all right!! its a very romeo and juliet star-crossed lovers kinda situation where a student who gets accepted into a state-run polish music academy becomes close with one of the instructors and they fall in love, however life circumstances keep pulling them away from each other over and over again. the movie spans over a timeline of about a decade and a half, and in this time the two of them find other lovers, get married, travel from country to country, but always end up managing to find each other before theyre separated again by circumstances that usually involve the polish communist state. so basically communism is a total cock block.

acting in this movie is overall very solid with not really a weak link in the bunch, except for maybe tomasz kot who played wiktor cause he just felt a lil stiff to me. however joanna kulig steals the fuckin show for me as zula, shes utterly captivating on screen and really takes advantage of all of the close-up shots of her face throughout this film. it also helps that shes given a fantastic character to play in zula, shes a spitfire and strong-willed and will not take any mans bullshit but near the end of the film you do get to see her struggle as well. the shit she has to put up with gets very harrowing at times and u do feel for her

and wiktor goes through his fair share of shitty situations as well, i mean damn he ends up in jail when he goes back to poland for zula and they mangle his hands so badly he’ll never be able to play piano again which was his livelihood. its pretty tragic how these two people are just like little puppets for the communist state to toss around and play with to their hearts content until theyre both almost destroyed. and really the whole underlying backdrop of communist poland is really what elevates this story from being just another romeo and juliet clone to something a little more profound.

ill come back to the story in a bit cause there are a few things i took issue with but i wanna take a moment to praise the music in this film cause holy SHIT its so good. im honestly really surprised it didnt get any music-related noms cause the music was probably my favorite part of Cold War. the beginning is full of polish folk music with a full womens choir that sounds just delightful, and then we transition into classic jazz when our lovers end up in paris together in the early 1950′s, and then some american classic rock n’ roll music is thrown into the mix in a few scenes, and then at the end we have a performace thats like a weird polish version of mariachi music?? such a wide and complex musical palette that ebbs and flows with the story, and we also get to see performers doing their thing which is just the icing on the cake.

so the movie sounds fantastic, and i mean i gotta say it looks fantastic too! like Roma, Cold War is shot in black and white, which definitely fits the time period its set in and fits especially well with the jazz scenes. we get a lot of close-up shots of peoples faces, but theyre balanced out well with wide shots that tend to put the focal points in the bottom third of the screen which i thought was an interesting touch. gave it a very art house feel. from what i could tell there were mostly still shots except for a few dance scenes, which kept the movie very grounded and kinda added a sense of realism.

so i think thats all the good shit i have to say and i wanna touch on the ending for the last part of this review, cause to be frank, this movie ended so abruptly it gave me whiplash. i was going into this film expecting it to be like 2 hours long but the run time clocks in at just under an hour and thirty minutes. usually this isnt a bad thing at all especially for quieter movies like this that take their time, but in this case it couldve used AT LEAST another ten to twenty minutes. so wiktor is let out of prison early because his commie friend pulled some strings (probably due to zulas insistence) and we find out that zula has married this commie state official and had a kid with him. and she now works as a performer (probably working for the state like she did when she was with the music academy) singing weird polish mariachi music. shes clearly drunk off her ass when she sees that wiktor is out, runs to the bathroom to puke, and then he finds her in there and they decide to run away together again. but its implied that this time its more of an uuhhh permanent escape. like, PERMANENT permanent. like no-longer-living permanent. and this is the point of the movie where im like “oh god really theyre gonna keep THIS part of the romeo and juliet story they really think thats a good idea”

and then the next scene we see them going to an abandoned run-down church that was shown in the beginning of the movie, and they both have what looks like a shit ton of pills out in front of them. they say wedding vows, then each take half of the giant pile of pills, and then go to watch the sunset. and then thats where the movie ends. it just like cuts to credits and thats it.

idk man it just doesnt have the amount of emotional gravitas that i feel like a scene like that should have. and it escalates so quickly too, like one minute theyre in a bathroom and the next theyre on a bus and the next theyre at the church with the pills in front of them. its hard to explain how abrupt it all felt watching it, u have to see it for urself to get what i mean. the pacing was just really off in the last third of this film, and with the severity of the act theyre committing u’d think the director would wanna spend more time on it.

so other than that i’d say if u like foreign films and good period pieces this is one to check out, i’d give it like a 7/10. if anything go see it just to listen to the music cause good god its so gorgeous im gettin my hands on this soundtrack.

OK Y’ALL i got lots of reviewing to do in the next few days so u’ll be seeing a log of long-ass posts from me soon! i think The Favorite is on amazon video now so ill watch that for sure sometime this week, and then god knows what else i’ll watch i’ll just have to play it by ear. have a relaxing fun and fresh sunday y’all try not to let the idea of having to go to school/work tomorrow fill u with too much existential dread ;)

#curly q reviews #oscars #oscars 2019 #academy awards #road to the oscar mayer weiner awards 2k19 #cold war #foreign films #polish films #romance #communism #cold war 2018 #romeo and juliet #tomasz kot #joanna kulig #pawel pawlikowski

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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VALENTINES DAY SPECIAL

Below Her Mouth, 2016 (dir. April Mullen)

WARNING SPOILERS AND LOTS OF SEX TALK AHEAD TREAD WITH CAUTION

HEY Y’ALL we interrupt the regular programming for a special feature!! i always like to do a lil valentines day special viewing for the sake of being festive and for once ive actually gotten some dating action in my life so i was in the mood to watch some sweet romance and then review it for ur reading pleasure (emphasis on the PLEASURE ehugeguehgehgeugeghe) (assassinate me now i deserve it)

to preface this, i am VERY gay. well uuhhh bi but a very GAY bi u know?? basically i curse my attraction to men every waking moment of my life. ive known about this since my last few years of college and am out to basically everyone whos important, and a lot of my friends are lgbtq+ so u know its official and everything. i dont really claim to be a Gay Expert cause i actually am still lacking a lot of uuhhh physical experience if u catch my drift HOWEVER like a true scholar i have done my fair share of research. which mainly includes watching really shitty lesbian movies and mocking them (and every so often watching a rare Good Lesbian Movie and crying A LOT).

if u are of sapphic inclination as well then u probably already know the kind of reputation lesbian romance movies have overall, the prime examples of which would be movies like Room in Rome and Loving Annabelle. these movies all seem to have one thing in common, and its that the directors and writers have no goddamn clue about how to write a convincing and authentic lesbian romance. u also always get the sense that the male gaze is the one being prioritized cause theres always PLENTY of gratuitous sex and the romance part itself is uuhhhh never really developed well or thoroughly enough at all. these movies are usually about a straight girl who discovers her affinity for the feminine when she meets a total stranger and suddenly cant stop thinking about how much she wants to bang her. and then in-between all the banging they somehow find the time to fall madly in love with each other but the straight girl just CANT cause shes STRAIGHT or she has a FIANCE or her PARENTS wouldnt approve or whatever the fuck the conflict of the day is and either it ends with them never seeing each other again or with the straight girl coming to terms with her not-straightness and ***follow her heart*** or whatever

really the only lesbian movies i can recall actually enjoying would be Pariah (PLEASE check this movie out its so heart-wrenching and beautiful and its like a majority-black cast!!!) and Blue Is the Warmest Color (this one i loved at first but the more i reflect on it the more problems i find with it, ESPECIALLY with how much sex is in it). and then The L Word is a stellar tv series up until like the last few seasons which are trash but otherwise it was a great watch for me, especially while i was still figuring things out. i feel like there are more that ive seen that were pretty good but i cant think of them at the moment WHOOPS LOL

so with Below Her Mouth i was apprehensive but hopeful going in, although i had heard rumors that it was Real Bad. and u know i shouldve listened to those rumors and not bothered with this movie cause WOW its bad!!! script is TRASH, acting is TRASH WITH FEBREEZE SPRAYED ON IT, and it looks like an artsy pretentious film student shot it. natalie krill had maybe one good acting moment in the whole 90-minute run time and erika linder is really really hot and those are the only two good things i can think to say about this

fuck ok uuhhh i guess ill talk about the main characters cause OH WOW theyre basically two walking talking cliches. jasmine (yes her name is jasmine that totally doesnt sound like the name of a character in a porn at all) is our Token Straight Girl who has a fiance and is a fashion editor. she first sees our other romantic lead while working on the roof of a house next door to hers. shes ur typical Lesbian Romance Movie Butch, too cool for school and unable to commit to anyone ever and is kind of an asshole but somehow this is supposed to endear u to her. oh and guess what her name is. just guess. ill give u a few minutes.

DALLAS ITS FUCKING DALLAS HOOWEE WHAT A SHOCKER

the first thing we see of dallas, and this is also the first fuckin shot of the movie, is her uuhhh scissoring her girlfriend??? humping her????? i really dont know what shes trying to accomplish but shes clearly not having any fun while doing it and her girlfriends like “i love u” and shes like “im moving out bye” and thats it

real compelling i know

so jasmine and her bff manage to stumble upon the lesbian bar in town (which dallas calls a girl party??? why??????) where dallas meets her and proceeds to be completely and utterly creepy in ways ive only ever seen men be which is the first indicator that the person who made this movie, april mullen, is maybe not gay at all (or maybe she is and just has horrible taste?? idk man). but somehow the creepiness is a real turn on for ol’ jazzy and they start making out IMMEDIATELY but then jasmines like “i have a fiance gotta go!!!!” and yeets herself out of the situation

but of course this is a lesbian romance so u know they meet up again and proceed to have like half an hours worth of steamy gratuitous porn-style sex. there was a lot of strap-on action involved and a lot of bizarre scissoring that i dont even think i can call scissoring cause it was more like they were just weirdly bumping their vagoos against each other and somehow that was getting them both off. like sometimes the sex scenes in this movie bordered on tommy wiseau levels of weird.

oh and of course the fiance finds out about this secret love affair but WOW do they really do this in the most dramatic and unintentionally hilarious way possible. he literally comes home early from his business trip and walks in on dallas going to town on jasmine with a strap on in the bath tub, like theyre ferociously going at it. i swear to god i felt like i was watching a comedy at times with this movie

piggybacking off of that, jesus christ this script is bad. ooooohhhh its so bad. dallas is given the cringiest tough guy lines, like shes drinking beers with a friend and the friend is like “oh man i gotta catch up to u” and, hilariously, dallas is like “you cant catch up cause nO oNe WiLl EvEr CaTcH mE” and i almost choked on my own saliva. oh god wait heres another zinger, so when she first meets jasmine shes like “do u come to girl parties often (again why the everloving FUCK is she calling it a girl party????)” and jasmines like “i don’t come at all” and the next thing to come out of dallas’s suave sexy mouth is “TeRriBLe NeWs CaN i ChAnGe ThAt FoR yOu” OH my GOD

and good god shes so creepy. like some of the shit she pulls is borderline sexual assault. her and jasmine are just at a bar chillin and dallas reaches down and im like “oh ok shes gonna like put her hand on her knee classic move” but NOPE OH NO she just makes a beeline STRAIGHT for jasmines crotch IN THE MIDDLE OF A BAR!!! THERE ARE PEOPLE AROUND!!!!!! OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

at one point after another round of passionate lovemaking dallas brings jasmine back to her house and theyre in dallas’s truck and they just?? slap each other??? for no reason????? except for True Love i guess????????????

jesus. just. this was an experience. i would say dont bother watching it but i did at least have fun making fun of it so if thats ur sort of thing knock ur socks off, its on netflix. but wow this basically fits the stereotype of a lesbian romance movie PERFECTLY, and when u really break it down its just a fancy porn. i wouldnt even say its a porn geared towards actual wlw cause theres so many elements about the sex scenes that reminded me of the kind of lesbian porn thats made for straight men to jack off to. 0/10 BAD BYE

well shit ok i hope u all had a great valentines day!! im gonna go start a roofing business in the hopes that i end up working on a roof of a house thats right next to a really hot straight girl with a fiance so i can try to finger-bang her in the middle of an occupied bar wish me luck!!!!!

#curly q reviews #valentines day special #valentines day #lgbtq #lesbian #romance #films #below her mouth #netflix

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Roma, 2018 (dir. Alfonso Cuarón)

Nominated for: Best Foreign Language Film, Best Director, Best Cinematography, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Lead Actress (Yalitza Aparicio), Best Supporting Actress (Marina de Tavira), Best Original Screenplay, Best Production Design, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing

ok lets do the damn thing!! ya girls got a serious case of the stomach flu and has not eaten anything of substance in 24 hours but u know what im gonna push on through!!! my bowels may be conspiring against me but at least my brain isnt!!!!!

so i actually had no clue that this movie was also a netflix release like ok come thru with the stellar movie content netflix!!! director Alfonso Cuarón has a decent filmography behind him, including three other oscar-nominated films (Gravity, Children of Men, and Y Tu Mamá También), but never before has a movie of his gotten so many oscar noms. like holy shit man this movie has ten noms!!! fuck yeah!!!!! also he directed Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban which is arguably my fave movie in the franchise so its no surprise this directors got a lot of talent.

quick lil plot summary: so this movie is set in Mexico in the 1970′s, and we follow the life of an indigenous maid named Cleo who works for a college professor and his family. it actually turns out that the story is heavily based on Cuaron’s own life and the life of his childhood maid Liboria Rodriguez. and u can definitely get the sense that this story is based off of true events because it just feels so authentic and grounded. the movie is essentially just a glimpse into the life of cleo and the family she works for, with the backdrop of student protests in Mexico that led to the Corpus Christi Massacre in 1971. its such a compelling look into a piece of mexicos history that i didnt know a lot about before watching this movie, and u also get to see the divides that existed between the upper class and the indigenous working class in the country at the time. i also really enjoyed seeing a more nuanced take on the “servant/master” dynamic between Cleo and the family she works for, how it differs with the kids and with the parents, and the effects it has on cleos life.

y’all. when i say this movie blew me away it is not an exaggeration. i was kinda worried at first that it would be a little boring and meandering but wow was i proven wrong. its not all that action packed or super dramatic but it really ebbs and flows, one minute you’re laughing at a surprisingly funny moment and the next you’re crying and the next you’re scared out of your mind. this is also the first movie ive seen in a while where i was 100% invested in all of the characters the whole time i was watching, ESPECIALLY our main character Cleo played by newcomer Yalitza Aparicio. can i just say how fucking refreshing it is to have a lead woman in a film that isnt super conventionally attractive or adhering to european beauty standards at all??? this is yalitzas acting debut and man oh man what a debut it is, shes simply captivating to watch and her nonverbal communication really shines. the amount of emotion she is able to convey through her eyes alone is just *italian kissing fingers* MWAH

what a fantastic choice to film this movie in black and white as well!! i think i wouldve still loved this film if it was color but idk man the black and white just gives the movie this really classic feel. the camera work is wonderful as well, a lot of wide shots that really take in the scenery and some very interesting angles here and there. it just makes the movie feel so expansive and pulls u in to what ur seeing.

and like. the screenplay. y’all this movie made me cry like a small child, and its so rare for movies to make me cry but its just simply heartbreaking what cleo has to go through, and the movie does such a good job at endearing you to her that she almost feels like a good friend by the time the bad shit starts happening to her. the beach scene thats featured on the movie poster broke my heart into tiny little pieces and almost gave me a heart attack and it was so fucking beAUTIFUL AAAAAAAAAAAAA GOD THIS MOVIE IS SO GOOD

so basically what im saying with all this is that every single one of the noms Roma got is more than well deserved, and although its a long shot i would be elated if this won best picture (tho i might change my mind on that once i see The Favorite). but even if it doesnt this movie has a really good chance of getting best foreign language film, and i’d also say best cinematography. i mean shit even best director and best screenplay are a safe bet. idk man i just really love this movie and i cant think of anything else to say other than pLEASE WATCH IT IF U HAVE NETFLIX

this has to be cuaron’s best movie to date and it makes me feel so excited to see what he comes out with next, id love for him to do more period pieces set in mexico cause it was just such an interesting setting to explore. and uuhhhh now im just rambling so im gonna end it here thanks for reading y’all!! please keep my ailing stomach in ur thots and prayers im really hoping for a speedy recovery cause this movie-goin’ gal has lots more films to watch! GOOD NIGHT SLEEP TIGHT DONT LET THE BED BUGS BITE

#curly q reviews #road to the oscar mayer weiner awards 2k19 #oscars #oscars 2019 #academy awards #roma #alfonso cuaron #yalitza aparicio #children of men #gravity #y tu mama tambien #mexico #marina de tavira #harry potter and the prisoner of azkaban #corpus christi massacre #movies #films #foreign films #netflix

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, 2018 (dir. Joel Coen, Ethan Coen)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Costume Design, Best Adapted Screenplay

SPOILER ALERT THAR BE SPOILERS AHEAD ME HEARTIES BE YE WARNED

wowee what a cool film!! i went into this not knowing much about it except it was directed by the Coen brothers (directors of Fargo and The Big Lebowski) which set real high expectations for me. these guys are real masters of storytelling and what immediately come to mind when i think of movies that know how to effectively use dark humor. i also love the kinds of stories they tell in general, how they take subjects and settings that seem kinda mundane and just give them this little extra spark.

so is this newest film just as good as their other work??? well id say yeah for sure!!! it reminds me a lot of a film they did shortly after The Big Lebowski called O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because theyre both period pieces AND because they both feature a myriad of eclectic and interesting characters. the one thing that makes The Ballad of Buster Scruggs really stand out from their other films however is the fact that this is actually an anthology made up of six different stories, all set during the same time period in The Wild West. its also worth mentioning that this movie was made to premiere on Netflix, which is something ive started to see more and more as the streaming platform becomes the new go-to source of media content. its very exciting to see such prolific directors go the Netflix route and have great success with it, because it means that the platform really is capable of creating high-quality movies and TV shows and working with big-name talent. im sure the big hollywood production companies are all quaking in their lil booties cause this means big BIG changes are on the horizon

ok so ive reviewed anthology series before, notably Black Mirror, and with those reviews i ranked the short stories in order of least to most favorite. so i guess in this case ill do the same, although its hard to really rank these cause i truly enjoyed all of them in different ways. there was one however that didnt really tickle my fancy much, which was “Near Algodones”. this one stars james franco as a bank robber who seems to have met his match in a fiery (probably crazy) bank teller. he gets caught and hung from a tree by the town’s sheriff, but nearly manages to escape death when a Native American tribe swoops in and kills the sheriff and his crew. james franco is saved by a cattle driver, only to be caught again by the next town’s sheriff for allegedly trying to hawk the cattle (which was not the case at all). right before they kick the chair out from under him at the hanging, he sees a beautiful woman in blue, who at first smiles at him but then looks unnerved as he stares back at her.

i think with this one the ending really didnt do much for me, i kinda didnt get it. i did understand the whole irony behind surviving punishment for a crime he DID commit but getting hanged for a crime he never committed, and the bank teller was pretty hilarious, but everything else about the segment was just ok. james franco didnt really blow me away (he never really does but thats besides the point), the rest of the performances were fine, and the story just kinda zipped on through. maybe ill give this one another watch to see if the ending makes any more sense to me, or if theres any sense to be made from it at all

next up for me would be “The Gal Who Got Rattled”, and this segment i have mixed feelings over. its about this brother and sister who set out on the Oregon trail so that the brother can get his sister to marry his business partner in Oregon. the sister seems like a kind of wishy-washy, subdued character who just kinda goes along with whatever her brother says without giving much of her own opinion. i gotta give credit to zoe kazan (who starred in The Big Sick) cause she does a great job with this character, totally spot-on performance. ok so turns out the brother is a fucken HORRIBLE businessman who screws up all his business deals all the time, and he tragically dies like two days into being on the oregon trail. he has this annoying-ass dog that barks all the time and everyone else on the caravan is sick of it, so when the brother dies the sister just lets one of the trail leaders put it down. turns out the sister like did not like her brother at all but was always too afraid to say anything. now getting back to the bad businessman thing, apparently he had promised the helper boy that is helping move their covered wagon a large sum of money, half of it halfway through the journey and the rest when they get to oregon. problem is, the sister doesnt have the money, so it was either left in the brothers pocket when he was buried or there wasnt actually any money at all and he lied, y’know, like a bad businessman does. the trail leader who put the annoying dog down offers to help her, and the two start to get close. so now its like a pseudo love story thing. except it ends pretty tragically (the sister dies its a long story and pretty ironic just watch it if u wanna know)

so uuuhhhhh this one was long as shit, like a lot longer than the other segments when it didnt really need to be??? like it just kept going and going, and again the ending didnt really make up for how long it was. i really liked zoe kazan in this, but otherwise nothing to write home about.

number four on my list would have to go to “All Gold Canyon”, which basically just follows the story of a gold miner in the mountains trying to get that money honey. this segment is the simplest one out of the bunch, but i gotta say its absolutely gorgeous. what beautiful scenery and cinematography. it provides a nice contrast to our disheveled, run-down gold miner who is just tearing up the beautiful grassy fields trying to get to this gold. there seems to be a theme in this one of man’s relationship to nature, and how the gold miner does put in effort to respect it but still takes advantage of it for his own benefit. and i guess theres a broader theme of greed, or the ruthless and endless pursuit of wealth which can drive people to do crazy and desperate things. i definitely really enjoyed this one, especially the gold miner character played by tom waits. but otherwise it didnt stand out as much to me as the other segments im gonna talk about

SPEAKING OF WHICH heres number three!! “The Mortal Remains” is right up my alley, and has some more mythical elements to it than the other segments ive talked about so far. so we have a wagon full of passengers all going to this hotel for various reasons, and its a really diverse cast of characters: we have the older wife of a prolific religious lecturer, a rich Frenchman, a trapper, a foppish Englishman, and a cheery laid-back Irishman, the last two seeming to be companions of some sort. they all get on the topic of the true nature of mankind, and the three characters opposite of the strange pair all have something different to say. the trapper believes that all people are inherently the same, with the same basic needs. the older woman disagrees and insists that there are two kinds of people, upright and sinning. and then the Frenchman says that both of them are wrong, that human existence is much more complicated and nuanced than that; no one persons life is exactly the same as another’s. and then we have the Englishman and the Irishman, who turn out to be bounty hunters of some sort (is heavily alluded that they are grim reaper-type figures). they explain their method of completing their kills, and talk about how they enjoy watching their victims “try to make sense of it all” in their death throes. these two clearly have a much more cold and sinister idea of the nature of mankind, and the rest become very unsettled all the way to the hotel. no one else even dares to step out of the carriage while the bounty hunters drag their latest victim through the front entrance and up the stairs.

oh man this segment was great! i think the reason its third on my list is cause i really wish there was more to it, like if the Coen brothers spent more time on this one instead of “The Gal Who Got Rattled” it would be perfect. Jonjo O’Neill and Brendan Gleeson as the bounty hunters were so enthralling, and i loved watching them play off of each other. hell, i couldve had a whole movie featuring those two. and the screenwriting really shines in this segment too. this segment almost feels like a fable or something, which is really fitting for the time period. makes me wonder if they had based it off of an actual fable. but anyway yeah this ones awesome!

i had a hard time choosing between “The Mortal Remains” and this next segment for second place cause i liked them both equally, but in the end “Meal Ticket” gets #2 purely because of the utterly fantastic performance by Harry Melling, who plays a quadriplegic actor in a traveling show run by liam neesons character, an irish traveling entertainer. the story itself is really simple, we just see this disabled actor be carted from one town to the next, doing the same stage show which is basically just him reciting famous prose throughout the ages. meanwhile liam neeson is trying to get as much money as he can out of the audience members. he doesnt interact much with harry melling outside of feeding him and helping him piss and get dressed. u get the sense that he doesnt really see his disabled actor as an actual person, but more of an entertaining object or a pet. and this becomes even more apparent when the irishman gets some competition from another traveling entertainer who has a chicken that can do math. he sees this chicken getting more money than him, so he buys it off of the other guy and takes it with him. and finally, the poor limbless actor is literally and figuratively tossed aside for the next best thing.

man oh man what a great segment! harry melling blew me away with his performance, the fact that he was able to get such a nuanced range of emotion out of the few lines he was given (basically he had to recite the same shit over and over again) was so impressive to me. and his non-verbal communication was really solid too. liam neeson did really well in his role too. and again the story itself is really great, simple but effective and really gets the point across without having to beat the audience over the head with its message. OH YEAH ITS REAL GOOD LOVE IT

and finally we have my #1 pick, which i think the directors knew this was the best one out of the bunch too cause its the first segment as well as the title of the whole movie. “The Ballad of Buster Scruggs” has that signature Coen brothers wit and dark humor that i love, it plays off of typical Western movie tropes and is very tongue-in-cheek and i ate that shit up. tim blake nelson as the titular buster is just so fucken perfect for this role, he really shines in this and its kind of a shame that its one of the shorter segments cause it really is the best one and he knocks it out of the park. we got some great music in this segment too, which is where that Best Original Song nom comes in. this one also has some strong fable-y vibes to it, like this story could be amongst the likes of American folklore like Paul Bunyan and Johnny Appleseed. i wont get much into the plot of this one but i highly recommend watching it, even if you dont wanna see the rest of the segments.

the segments fit together pretty well overall, although the tone of each of them differs slightly the fact that the setting and time period are the same is enough to firmly knit all these stories together. its a really unique idea for a movie, and is so far the best attempt at an anthology movie that ive ever seen purely because the stories really all make sense together and play off of each other well. in other anthology movies ive seen like The ABC’s of Death the segments usually dont have much at all to do with each other, except that they all fall in the same genre. so overall id say give this a watch, especially if ur a Coen brothers fan, cause theres some real good stuff in here.

well thats all i got for now cowboys!! i watched Roma the other day and CRIED REAL HARD so get ready for me to kiss that movies ass in a review that should be done in the next few days. until then go uuhhhhhh lasso a cow or something. chew some tobaccy. fondle a barmaids titties. die of dysentery. y’know just old west things~

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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IMO the boundary between critique, purity culture, and censorship is this:

it is responsible, and the mark of a good audience, to critique problematic elements in the media we consume. For example, I love gothic lit - but a lot of it is incredibly sexist and racist. I can acknowledge that these elements are a problem and objectionable while still enjoying the piece for a multitude of other reasons. I can also say to myself “if I ever want to write my own gothic lit, here are some elements I should avoid.” Or, if I do want to tackle the issues of racism and sexism in my future gothic lit, then I can say “I will avoid writing in a way which implicitly or explicitly condones racism or sexism, while still emulating the praiseworthy elements of gothic lit.”

In essence, the fundamentals of intersectional media critique is this: “these elements of [x media] are problematic and we should rethink them in future media, both as audiences and as creators.” By rethinking these elements, I don’t mean utterly doing away with them, but rethinking how we approach them and how we read them.

We enter purity culture when our statement moves from “these elements of [x media] are problematic and we should rethink them in future media, both as audiences and as creators,” and becomes “these elements of [x media] are problematic and therefore anyone who consumes or creates [x media] is condoning everything about [x media].” The implication here is that, if one wants to be a good person, one should avoid [x media], because to do otherwise is to either implicitly or explicitly condone everything in [x media]. This type of attitude towards media is very common in conservative religious circles.

It moves fully into censorship when the statement moves from “these elements of [x media] are problematic and therefore anyone who consumes or creates [x media] is condoning everything about [x media]” and becomes “these elements of [x media] are problematic and therefore nobody can consume or create [x media] for any reason.” Those who break this rule are seen as evil and shunned. This type of attitude toward media is very common in fundamentalist circles.

A culture of censorship is the natural outcome of purity culture, because purity culture by its very nature seeks purity until even the whisper of objectionable content, in any context, is suppressed.

I would wager a guess that many people who are against anti culture are familiar with either these toxic conservative or fundamentalist attitudes towards media, and we are alarmed by their striking similarity with antis’ attitudes towards media. It is most certainly why I am against anti culture.

#curly reblogs #curly q reviews

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

A Star is Born, 2018 (dir. Bradley Cooper)

Nominated for: Best Original Song, Best Sound Mixing, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Lead Actor (Bradley Cooper), Best Lead Actress (Lady Gaga), Best Supporting Actor (Sam Elliott), Best Adapted Screenplay, Best Cinematography

(TW SUICIDE, ALCOHOLISM, DRUG ABUSE)

(ALSO THIS IS A SPOILER-HEAVY REVIEW DONT READ IF U HAVENT WATCHED THE MOVIE YET AND WANT TO OK HERE WE GO)

WOWEE TWO REVIEWS IN A ROW IM ON A ROLL BABBIIIEEEE

ok so remember how i said in my intro that i didnt think this movie was deserving of best picture well uuhhhhhh i lied

or rather as ive been thinking about writing this review and the points im gonna bring up i kinda realized that this is actually a very VERY good movie and the reason i was biased against it is that 1. its the latest of four count ‘em FOUR iterations of the same film and im just so fucken done with remakes, and 2. it got a lot of commercial success mainly because of lady gaga who is like not a fantastic actress but she did do a pretty good job in this???? im gonna get into that later but for now lemme slap y’all in the faces with a healthy dose of ~Movie History~

as i mentioned earlier, this movie is a remake of a remake of a remake of a classic 1937 film starring hollywood starlet Janet Gaynor called- U GUESSED IT- A Star Is Born. the original film is not a musical at all and really has no music apart from the movie score, and is not about a musician but an up-and-coming actress’s rise to fame in hollywood. i really recommend seeing the original film (u can find it for free on youtube) because it gives a lil glimpse into what hollywood was like for young women trying to make it big from the late ‘30′s all the way into the ‘50′s. theres this whole scene going over how janet gaynors character esther blodgett has to go through a complete transformation, not just physically but character-wise. back in those days in hollywood u would have a whole team give u essentially a completely new identity, giving u a new name, changing your hair and eyebrow shape, creating a whole new backstory for you, and pinning down what “type” of actress you’d be (are you more of a pure innocent waifish type? or the hard-working mother? or the sexy yet airheaded provocateur a la marilyn monroe?). its really interesting! and also shows that hollywood has always wanted to control women so nothings really changed!!! great!!!!!!!

so the reason the sequel made in 1954 went for a more musical route is because they managed to get Wizard of Oz darling Judy Garland to play esther blodgett/vicki lester this time around. so now instead of a hollywood actress shes a stage performer trying to get her musical career started, and the musical element of the film is presented as her various stage performance gigs instead of it being like a “the music is the script” type scenario. this movie has arguably one of garland’s best performances on film, so im surprised that i only just found out about it when i was watching some videos about the history of A Star Is Born, but also i didnt know much about her filmography besides The Wizard of Oz anyways.

the third sequel, filmed in 1976, is the one that no one really remembers or talks about despite it starring the legendary Barbara Streisand (it doesnt even show up on the list of options on IMDb when u type in “A Star Is Born” which is kinda sad). esther/vicki is still a musician in this one, but this time shes a Rock Musician cause its the ‘70′s and rock n’ roll is god. her character is also vastly different than the previous two, who dont have a lot of agency in their own lives due to them being women and it being the ‘40′s/’50′s. this esther is a go-getter, independent and an activist, who plays around with gender norms and hyphenates her last name with her husband’s instead of taking his on fully. i havent seen this one yet but ive heard its not really the best of the bunch despite having streisand at the helm, but it did still win an oscar for best original song.

ok so now we have the newest addition to the family! Bradley Cooper’s take on this classic story is kind of a mish-mosh of different elements from each of its predecessors, taking the rock musician storyline from barbara’s and the subplot about changing the lead’s identity from the first two. one thing that is pretty much the same amongst all four of these however is the real meat of the story: the romance. esther/vicki/ally’s love interest and eventual husband (a movie star by the name of norman maine in the first two, a rock star named norman howard in the third, and a country rock star named Jackson Maine in this one) stays about the same character-wise in all iterations, with a few tweaks here and there. he discovers esther/ally performing, is infatuated with her, and helps her in some way to advance her career and propel her to stardom, all while the two fall in love and get married. norman/jackson has one really big vice in his life however: alcoholism (and in the 1976/2018 versions drug abuse is tacked on). this provides the tragedy for this love story, as norman/jackson cant seem to get a handle on his addictions, plus he has a hard time seeing his wife skyrocket into fame when his own career is swiftly going down the shitter. theres a big scene in which he sabotages her acceptance speech at an award show (whether it be an oscar or a grammy), she considers putting her career on hold to take care of him, and due to the overwhelming amount of guilt he feels over all this he commits suicide. and then the final scene is some iteration of esther/vicki/ally doing a tribute to her late husband, either in a speech with the original vicki or a singing performance with the three others.

i had planned on watching all of the other three A Star Is Born’s in preparation to write this review but i never got the chance to watch Garland and Streisand’s takes, so all i can really compare this new one to is the original. but man i gotta say when i watched A Star Is Born 2018 in theaters i cried like a wee baby, that shit was an emotional gut-punch, and the original was really good but didnt give me that same visceral reaction. im a real sucker for character-driven stories and this movie fits the bill. this is the most complex and nuanced norman/jackson’s character has ever been, whereas in the other versions hes just kind of a stuck-up jerk who is jealous of his wife and doesn’t know how to handle it. in this one he has a soul, u can understand how he got to be the way he is, which makes his ultimate demise all the more heartbreaking.

as far as esther/ally’s character goes, i feel like i’d like judy garland’s take more than lady gagas even though i havent even seen the 1954 version yet. but from the clips i have seen of it judy really knocks it out of the park, we really get to see how torn up she is over her husbands struggles and she gets real damn vulnerable. ally’s a great character dont get me wrong, shes independent and self-sufficient like streisand’s esther but with the moments of vulnerability that garland’s esther had, all sprinkled with a dash of realness. with this ally, we get to see more of her life like where she grew up and what her family’s like, which helps contextualize the kind of person she is. however im afraid that this new script almost gave jackson a little TOO much character to where hes suddenly the star of the show and ally almost feels like a supporting character when this is literally her story. so idk man it kinda feels like bradley cooper like hijacked the script so that he’d have a bigger role in the movie

ANYWAYS fuck where do i go from here ive already written so much uuhhhhh ok

ok ok ok ok ok ok

do i like this movie??? yeah its really good!! i’d say it deserves the screenplay and cinematography noms cause this movie does look fantastic and despite some shortcomings the script is also solid. as far as the acting noms go, bradley cooper for sure deserves his, he acted the shit outta this role and really brought jackson to life. lady gaga’s nom im a little iffy on even though i was pleasantly surprised by her turn at this classic character. i think the script also really played to her strengths and allowed her to shine, cause she was kind of essentially playing herself. BUT bradley cooper was able to coax out of her the best acting performance ive seen from her so far, so im excited to see where her acting career goes from here and see how she grows in this new facet of her life.

so lets get back to the whole best picture debate again. i think the main reason why im so reluctant to say that this really deserves that nom is that im kinda tired of hollywood rehashing the same movies over and over again, no matter how good the remakes end up being. i want a new and fresh story to get a chance, something that’ll really shake up the industry and get its blood pumping again. which is why im excited that a movie by yorgos lanthimos has a shot at best picture this year, cause heres a director whos trying something different. A Star Is Born getting a best picture nom just feels to me like hollywood and the academy going with what they know works, whats safe and tried and true.

however from a purely objective standpoint, i mean i cant deny this film is really REALLY good. even the music is fantastic, its been a few months since i saw the movie in theaters and “Shallow” still gets stuck in my head every so often. so u know, i wouldnt be too too mad if it does end up winning.

wow ive been writing for a long ass time my poor lil phalanges are about to fall off, im gonna end this rant here! lemme know what y’all think, whats the scoop, whats the dealio, all that jazz

hopefully one of these days ill have time to sit down and watch The Ballad of Buster Scruggs so that’ll probably be my next review, and then i gotta carve out some time to get my lil butt into a theater to see uuhhh everything else!! stay tuned y’all this movie train aint stoppin anytime soon we’re going ALL THE WAY BABBIIIEEEE YEEHAAAWWWWW

#road to the oscar mayer weiner awards 2k19 #curly q reviews #oscars #oscars 2019 #academy awards #a star is born #judy garland #barbara streisand #lady gaga #bradley cooper #janet gaynor #hollywood #romance #film #movies #the wizard of oz

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WIENER AWARDS 2K19

Black Panther, 2018 (dir. Ryan Coogler)

Nominated for: Best Original Score, Best Original Song, Best Motion Picture of the Year, Best Costume Design, Best Production Design, Best Sound Editing, Best Sound Mixing

ok y’all lets get this party started with a movie i didnt get to catch in theaters (i think i ended up renting it) but people were absolutely raving about it all of last year, and for good reason i gotta say! it was one of the better marvel films that came out last year (though in my humble opinion Infinity War takes the gold)

speaking of marvel lets talk about it for a spell! lets have a lil sit-down chit-chat shall we!! cause its kind of insane how much of an american media phenomenon marvel has become, they are arguably single-handedly responsible for reviving the superhero movie subgenre and now these types of movies bring hollywood more dineros than they probably know what to do with (besides make more superhero movies). what used to be a niche market where only your most hardcore of nerdy types dared to dwell has been embraced into the mainstream wholeheartedly, and now its hard to imagine the american film industry without them.

from a film critique standpoint, marvel movies seem to be a hit-or-miss as far as quality, however i cant really think of a particular marvel movie that i thought was a total piece of hot garbage (the first two Thor movies come close but they were more boring than anything else). however last year was a real success for the studio, they just kept pumping out quality movies left and right and once disney managed to get its grubby lil mouse paws on Spider-man it was a done deal baby. DC and other companies have tried again and again to recreate the success that Marvel has managed and so far they’ve failed to various degrees. Marvel’s just got that special something with their cinematic universe, some magical combo of great actors and creative directors and an ever-expanding budget that keeps them staying at the top every time.

so whats my stance on superhero movies??? well theyre not my usual cup of tea but i gotta say they’re real damn entertaining. i kinda view them like a high-speed ride at an amusement park, super fun and thrilling and exhilarating and just a real good time! but thats about as far as it goes for me, and im sure thats the same for a lot of people. to be honest its kinda refreshing to have movies that quality-wise are up to my standards that i dont have to think too hard about. so for me the movies i typically go for are like museums, whereas superhero movies (and action movies in general) are like a carnival. both entertaining and fun, but the latter is just all about letting loose and not wondering about the why’s and how’s. when i think about it, this kinda mindset is for sure a factor in how these movies got so popular, because with the shitshow that is our current government and the potential imminent death of our planet people are once again looking for movies as a form of escapism, rather than a way to get deep and philosophical and ask the tough questions and see something profound.

with that being said, despite some exceptions that have proven me wrong to my utter joy and delight (im looking at u Logan), i expect movies that are nominated for wiener awards to be more like museums than like carnivals y’know what i mean? u catchin my drift??? u takin what im dishin out???? the academy awards have a long history of prestige, of nominating the best of the best of any given year. quite a few movies that won oscars are now considered to be timeless classics. which is why superhero movies, at least the typical marvel types that are chocked to the brim with CGI and epic massive fight scenes and explosions, dont really strike me as anything that could eventually become a timeless classic. the amount of computer-generated effects alone will make these movies feel really dated as soon as like five years from now with how fast technology is progressing. i just dont see it happening.

and that brings us to the first wiener award nominee ill be talking about, Black Panther. this isnt director Ryan Coogler’s first time at the rodeo; his first feature film Fruitvale Station received critical acclaim in 2013, and the spiritual Rocky sequel Creed actually got nominated for some oscars a few years ago. so we’ve got a promising and talented director at the helm which is a great start! we’ve also got a stellar cast with the likes of michael b. jordan (who has been in all of Coogler’s films so far), lupita nyong’o, angela bassett, and forest whitaker in the bunch. it also has the astronomical financial backing of Supreme Overlord Disney so u know this is gonna be some high-quality shit.

so i’m gonna tell y’all why i think this movie got nominated for so many oscars, because in a way i do think this movie is deserving of noms from the academy. theres no denying that it is very groundbreaking for a movie of this scale and magnitude to have a black director and a nearly all-black cast. in fact, i think a lot of the crew members (including set and costume design) were black as well. thats fuckin huge my guy. and this movie was by no means a flop either; it ended up being one of the highest-grossing films of 2018 and stayed in theaters for a loooong-ass time. and not only were the people on this project mostly black, the movie itself is a story praising and showing off the beauty of african culture without exotifying or demeaning it in any way. like i can say 100% without a doubt that this movie deserves its best costume design nom cause holy shit the outfits in this movie are stunning, just the perfect blend of ancient/current tribal african aesthetics and a more futuristic sleek style that any fashion enthusiast can drool over.

i cant say much about best musical score or best sound mixing or anything like that cause it all seemed like typical marvel stuff to me and wasnt all that memorable. however i can say that the production design on this movie, while it didnt impress me as much as costuming, did still impress me. the one thing i gotta knock it on is all the fucken CGI, like whole entire towns and landscapes were digitally rendered. i wouldve been a lot more impressed and would agree more to the production design nom if they used more practical effects and real sets/locations.

so. best picture. this is where i feel the most conflicted. cause this is where i now have to look past all the pretty fancy visuals and music and look at the actual meat of this movie, its story and characters. usually best picture noms also get noms for things like best actress, best script, and best director, cause those are all really important elements of a good film. ur movie can look and sound as pretty as it wants but if the storys shit and the characters are shit and the actings shit then u dont have much going for u.

and by no means am i saying that Black Panther was shitty in these aspects, it was just well. passable. it was ok. but nothing to write home about

we got some good performances from newcomers letitia wright and chadwick boseman, lupita kills it as always, but then everyone else was like. okay. michael b. jordan didnt really do his best in this and idk if its the script’s fault or something but it was weird. and speaking of the script it was uuuuhhhhh well. not great. every time i think about that “what are those” reference i die a little inside. and the story overall wasnt really anything new when u break it down, just another “son of king struggles to take his place” narrative. and that aspect of the story couldve actually been more developed into something interesting, i found myself really intrigued with the political scenes. but there just wasnt enough of that cause they needed to make more room for the PEW PEW POW EXPLOSIONS

granted, movies with lots of shimmer but little substance have been nominated for best picture before (just look at James Cameron’s Avatar which is apparently getting a sequel now????????). and its not even that this movie is completely devoid of substance cause theres some interesting things going on plot-wise, and some stand-out characters too (shuri is the boss and no one can tell me otherwise). its just, u know, a good superhero movie. nothing really profound about the story itself except for the cultural, historical, and social context behind it.

so lemme get back to why i think this movie got a best picture nom. i think the academy wants to keep up their appearance of being #woke now by continuing to nominate more than one poc-heavy project each year, but they seem to be caring less and less about the actual overall quality of these movies. and theres even some movies on the noms list that i think actually have what it takes to be a strong oscars contender, like If Beale Street Could Talk and BlacKkKlansmen. but i think in Black Panther’s case, they were under a lot of pressure to give it top noms (or any noms at all) because of the intensely positive response this movie got, as well as the accusations of racism to people who didnt think it was as great as fans were saying.

also i have no doubt that Supreme Overlord Disney like threw piles and piles of money at the academy like they tend to do (cause i’d bet good money thats the only fucken way Incredibles 2 got nominated for anything)

well anyway ive gone on long enough about this, lemme know what y’all think. really the only nom im iffy about when it comes to this movie is Best Picture, but the others i think are well enough deserved, especially costume design. so i guess the one thing i struggle with is this: does a movie becoming a pop culture phenomenon and being groundbreaking in its cast and crew count as enough for it to be nominated for the top prize of the wiener awards, despite any fallbacks in script, direction, and acting? idk man im just hoping it doesnt get the award by default or something but then again maybe after watching all the other nominees it may turn out that the rest of them were worse than Black Panther i guess i’ll have to find out

stay tuned for my A Star Is Born review y’all stay fresh and funky eat ur vegetables stay in school u dont need drugs when ur high on life

#road to the oscar mayer weiner awards 2k19 #curly q reviews #black panther #oscars #academy awards #oscars 2019 #chadwick boseman #letitia wright #lupita nyong'o #forest whitaker #angela bassett #marvel #superhero movies #best picture #fruitvale station #creed #ryan coogler #thor #avengers infinity war

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ROAD TO THE OSCAR MAYER WEINER AWARDS 2K19

Introduction by Curly

*SCREAMS FROM THE ROOFTOPS* ITS TIIIIIIMMMEEEE

thats right u precious little gifts from heaven it is finally time to look at the previous year’s movies, trudge through the piles of shit, and pick out the very best shiniest golden nuggets cause ITS WIENER SEASON BABBIIIEEEE

............... ok so i gotta level with y’all for a second this enthusiasm is very very forced this year. i was taking a look at the list of nominees the other day and was like, almost shocked??? does it seem shorter than usual this year to y’all or is it just me???? where are all the cool movies???????? how in gods name did that movie where christian bale wears a dick cheney suit for two hours get nominated for so much shit???????????????

this list is extremely underwhelming, especially considering some great movies came out this year. i know that horror movies being nominated for oscars is a long shot but like goddamn y’all are really gonna snub my girl toni collette??? did u not SEE her performance in hereditary??????? the suspiria remake was fucking phenomenal too and i thought for sure dakota johnson might get something especially since she more than redeemed herself after the 50 Shades shitshow but nope nothing for her either! i guess cause get out got noms last year the academy has deemed it inappropriate to nominate more than one Spooky Scary movie in a decade

so out of the eight best picture noms ive only seen 2 of them, A Star is Born and Black Panther, so i dont really know how much i can say about this list right now until i start watching and reviewing them individually. so i guess ill just touch on the two ive seen by saying that i dont really think either of them is deserving of a best picture nom (which is probably a controversial statement but WHOOPS). theyre both good movies for sure (and ill go more in depth on my Feelings on both of them in their reviews), but theyre both very commercial, very run-of-the-mill films that cater to a mass audience but dont really do much else. and thats not to say that films with mass appeal cant be good enough to get nominated for oscars, i just dont think that these two movies Did That.

in fact now that i mention it there are quite a few commercially successful films on the noms list this year that didnt really stand out to me enough to warrant them getting noms at all. Avengers: Infinity War entertained the shit outta me and its gotta be the best modern superhero movie ive seen in the past few years but its by no means groundbreaking. who the fuck knows why Christopher Robin got nominated at all cause the visual effects are nothing to write home about, and like is it just protocol now to throw oscars noms at Star Wars movies???? i heard solo: a star wars story was boring and lifeless but yeah sure just throw em a visual effects nom just for the hell of it

im betting money that Supreme Overlord Disney has a lot to do with this, cause their scope over the film and television industry has skyrocketed over the past few years. theyre buying companies left and right so at this point its actually not much of a surprise to me that quite a few of their films have made it onto the oscars noms list. which is uuuhhhhh a little terrifying when u think about it for too long but EEHHH FUCK IT DISNEY WORLD AND MICKEY MOUSE AMIRITE FELLOW LADS

i will say that i am very excited to check out a decent amount of the movies on the list. barry jenkins came out with If Beale Street Could Talk right on time for awards season and ive heard nothing but great things so im really pumped and Ready To Cry. and The Favorite, by the same director who did The Lobster and The Killing of a Sacred Deer, has been on my to-watch list since it was released in theaters. yorgos lanthimos has such an interesting and unique vision with his films, and it will be really cool to see his style applied to something like a classic period piece. its also really awesome to see a foreign language film also be nominated for best picture, so ill have to try and check out Roma which so far has had stellar reviews. First Reformed seems like the kind of steadily-paced drama/thriller that i just cant get enough of so that’s going on my watchlist for sure, and despite my mixed feelings on spike lee BlacKkKlansman was overall positively received so ill give it a watch. the only two animated films i have any interest in seeing are Mirai and Into the Spiderverse (which im honestly hoping wins cause it just looks so goddamn cool), and maaaaaybe ill see Isle of Dogs. maybe. oh and i almost forgot about The Ballad of Buster Scruggs!! its neat seeing a made-for-Netflix movie on the oscars list and ill never say no to a Coen Brothers movie so thats one to watch.

well i think thats about it for now!! normally i have a lot more to say about the oscars before i even start doing the movie reviews but idk man there hasnt been much hype about this years awards ceremony. i dont even wanna get into the whole kevin hart situation cause thats just a complete clusterfuck and a lil cringey (*cough* U DO NOT SPEAK FOR ALL OF THE GAYS ELLEN SIT UR ASS DOWN *cough*) but thats besides the point. i have soooooo much shit to say about black panther and a star is born so get ur reading eyes ready cause those posts are gonna be REAL LONG! and otherwise it should be a good and fun and fresh time!! if there are any movies on the noms list that i didnt mention here that u want me to see lemme know, especially if u have recommendations for the documentary nominations cause i havent heard of any of them except for RGB.

hope y’all are ready for oscars classic uncured wieners cause i know i sure am ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) (please help me)

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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ITS OSCARS SEASON Y’ALL GET HYPED

so ive been doing this review series called Road to the Oscar Mayer Weiner Awards every year during Oscars season for the past few years. basically my goal is to watch as many oscar-nominated films as possible and review them, pretty simple!! although so far every year i only end up getting to watch like a third of the list but who knows maybe this year will be different (i say knowing it will definitely not be different at all not one bit)

ANYWAY heres the list!! lemme know what u guys want me to review!!!!! STAY FRESH Y’ALL

Feature-Length Film Nominees: Black Panther, BlacKkKlansman, Bohemian Rhapsody, The Favorite, Green Book, A Star is Born, Vice, If Beale Street Could Talk, Can You Ever Forgive Me?, Mary Poppins Returns, The Ballad of Buster Scruggs, First Reformed, At Eternity’s Gate, The Wife, First Man, Mary Queen of Scots, A Quiet Place, Avengers: Infinity War, Christopher Robin, Ready Player One, Solo: A Star Wars Story, Border

Animated Feature Film Nominees: Incredibles 2, Isle of Dogs, Mirai, Ralph Breaks the Internet, Spider-man: Into the Spiderverse

Documentary Feature Film Nominees: Free Solo; Hale County This Morning, This Evening; Minding the Gap; Of Fathers and Sons; RBG

Foreign Language Feature Film Nominees: Capernaum, Cold War, Never Look Away, Roma, Shoplifters

#road to the oscar mayer weiner awards 2k19 #oscars #academy awards #oscars 2019 #black panther #the favorite #bohemian rhapsody #a star is born #if beale street could talk #the balad of buster scruggs #mary queen of scots #first reformed #a quiet place #avengers infinity war #blakkklansman

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curly-q-reviews · 5 years

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FLIX FROM THE NET

Bird Box, 2018 (dir. Susanne Bier)

SPOILER WARNING THERE WILL BE SPOILERS DONT READ IF U HAVENT SEEN IT YET AND WANT TO

[TW: SUICIDE, MURDER, VIOLENCE, BLOOD, GORE]

well fuck its been a while!! happy new year y’all hope u had a Fun and Safe time!!! i for one was at a party where we started playing Shrek at exactly 10:39 PM to see if Smash Mouth’s hit song I’m a Believer started playing right at midnight and to my utter disbelief and elation it did!!! move over times square ball drop a new arbitrary way of celebrating the start of a new calendar year is here and it involves a large green monster with a scottish accent who really loves his onions (#me am i right ladies)

WELL ANYWAY heres a fun new series ive been thinking of starting cause ya girl watches a lot of netflix movies and has many opinions about them. i think i’ll do a separate post about the whole Netflix Original Film trend in general and how its changed the film industry at a later date but since i just watched the above movie not too long ago i wanted to get all my thoughts out there right fuckin now!!

netflix is without a doubt the OG king of streaming services, they were really the first to get the ball rolling and then dozens of other companies scrambled to latch onto this money train while it was rolling on the tracks full steam (or should i say.... stream EL;KGHS;EKFSH; please end me) ahead. it started out as a rental subscription service where u could pick out three movies at a time to rent and then they were sent to u in the mail (like blockbuster but now you never have to leave your house ever again to get that sweet sweet rental content). and then the decision was made to actually start online streaming, no physical DVD’s required! ISNT TECHNOLOGY GREAT

well whoooo boy this shit swept the nation, people couldnt get enough of such a convenient and relatively affordable service and netflix started really raking in the dough. and at some point they got rich enough to say “hey fuck it!!! lets make our own movies baby!!!!” and here we are now with Netflix Original Movies and TV Shows, which means a new player has entered the movie game in a very novel and innovative way. why pay money for a movie ticket and leave your house to go to a theater when cool new movies are being released on a subscription service u already own to watch movies you already know and enjoy? and then u can sit butt-ass naked in ur bedroom alone stuffing ur face with cheese puffs like an insatiable cheddar beast and see something new and fun and interesting

ok so. Bird Box. here we have a movie based off of a book (so i guess this also counts as a Book Movies review but I DIGRESS) starring hollywood powerhouse sandra bullock, featuring Supreme Lesbian Overlord Sarah Paulson and Resident Crazy Old Man John Malkovich, directed by a relatively unknown but competent female filmmaker Susanne Bier (who also directed Things We Lost in the Fire in 2007, a moving drama starring Halle Berry). this one definitely has a lot of proimse compared to what netflix has offered so far in terms of their original movies (im gonna get into Dumplin’ at a later date cause jesus christ what a mess) and i went in with pretty high expectations

did it deliver??? well uuhhhh yeah sort of i guess!! we got some pretty strong performances from our leading lady bullock who really does deliver it every time, a few strong supporting roles like newcomer Trevante Rhodes of Moonlight fame (his energy on screen is just so compelling and soothing), not overly obnoxious child actors which is really all u can ask for, and overall a solid story.

now heres where i gotta say that i couldnt help comparing this film to another movie of its kind, directed by the notorious M. Night Shyamalan. y’all remember The Happening? cause i remember The Happening. i remember that it was total shit and that the twist was that it was the fucking plants making everyone kill themselves. the PLANTS. and i also remember mark wahlbergs dumb-ass confused face that he used in every single shot no matter the context, im AMAZED i remember zoe deschanel in this movie cause she may as well have been one of the killer plants with how little she emoted, and i remember mark wahlberg yelling at a fake office ficus and apparently i was supposed to be scared while watching this clusterfuck.

the way that this movie was described to me by friends who had seen it before me was basically that Bird Box is a slightly better The Happening, and no truer words have ever been spoken. we basically have the same premise going on here: unknown force is causing people to off themselves, our lead(s) have to try and find a way to escape this unknown force without even knowing what it really is, and theres some sort of “sanctuary” they gotta try and get to (which is a common plot point in really all apocalyptic and post-apocalyptic films). now whereas The Happening’s rules for this scenario make entirely no fucking sense (how in the fuck are u supposed to be able to out-run WIND???), Bird Box has some rules for dealing with this Unknown Thing that make slightly more sense. when u open ur eyes while outside, the chance of the Thing making u kill urself in some horrific way is extremely high, so wear a blindfold when ur outside and keep all windows covered when ur inside. makes sense! thats something i can believe and get behind which makes me more immersed in the story!

unfortunately like The Happening there are still some little things that kinda dont make much sense and take u out of it. apparently some people when they see this unknown entity dont wanna die, but instead find it absolutely beautiful, which makes them want to make everyone else look at it to see how beautiful it is. and its insinuated that these people are mentally ill or have some sort of psychiatric issue. i get that this adds more stakes to the situation and ups the ante, but it doesnt really sit well with me that once again, mentally ill people are the villains in a horror-type story. and i also dont really understand why theyd then wanna go around and make other people see the thing?? unless the thing has them in a mind-control state or something and is making them do its bidding but that seems kind of a weird thing for an all-powerful evil formless entity to do.

and that leads me to the next issue i have with Bird Box. if ur gonna have an apocalyptic scenario where people do something as serious as kill themselves due to an unknown cause, it almost seems a little cliche and cheesy to have it be some sort of mythical celestial god-like or demon-like entity thats doing the damage. i actually really liked where The Happening was going with its source of all the chaos being something naturally made, like the Earth deploying some sort of self-preservation mechanism or something. the idea of that to me is actually loads more frightening than some invisible boogeyman that u cant look at. and then Shamalamadingdong had to go and make it stupid by saying that it was fucking plants trying to kill people by releasing pheromones or some shit. like why cant we have the best of both of these?? something naturally-occuring that maybe has even happened before in the planets history (maybe it wasnt a meteor that killed off the dinosaurs after all??), that isnt FUCKING PLANTS, and that doesnt do cheesy shit like make ur eyes turn grey and bloodshot and like whisper to u telling u to take ur blindfold off (i swear that happens multiple times it was pretty silly)

thats another thing, this movie’s tone is all over the place. there are some moments where a more light-hearted tone is needed to break up the tension, for sure, but it almost as if the writing and dialogue werent really taking this serious of a story as seriously as they should have. weirdly placed jokes are all over the place, there were some moments where the dialogue made me cringe cause it was so awkward. bullock’s character gets to have some good breakdown moments which help bring the tone to the level of somberness and despair it should be at, but all the other supporting characters dont really get the same space to process whats happening to them, so it kinda comes off like they arent really affected by, say, their wife throwing herself into a burning car right in front of their very eyes.

overall i’d still say this is a worthwhile watch, especially considering its a netflix movie. if you’ve ever wanted to see a not-as-horrible version of The Happening that has some deeper metaphorical stuff going on about motherhood and family and shit than this is for you. the production value is overall pretty solid (though when it comes to cinematography i actually prefer The Happening from an artistic standpoint) and sandra bullock knocks it out of the park. go check it out if this seems like something thats up ur alley!!

ok bye for now hopefully it doesnt take me six months to write another review but we’ll see!! my brain is a mystery and time is an illusion HAPPY 20-BI-TEEN Y’ALL

#curly q reviews #bird box #netflix #book movies #flix from the net #the happening #m night shyamalan #sandra bullock #sarah paulson #john malkovich #trevante rhodes #horror #thriller #movies #films #netflix original movies

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curly-q-reviews · 6 years

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CURLY SCREAMS INTO THE VOID

What Happens When Your Favorite Movie Was Directed by a Pedophile?

[pictured above: director Roman Polanski, circa 1977]

(TW PEDOPHILIA, UNDERAGE SEXUAL ASSAULT)

so as u all know by now theres been a lot of buzz in hollywood surrounding the #MeToo movement, mainly spurred on by the flurry of accusations hurled at Resident Scumbag Harvey Weinstein (who produced such well-beloved movies as The Lord of the Rings, Kill Bill, and even my favorite gay movie starring Cate Blanchett, Carol). since then other hollywood scumbags of his ilk are being put on blast, although its debatable whether or not anything is actually being done about them. it kinda just seems at this point like the scumbags are being pointed out, and everyone chastises them for like two seconds, and then it’s all brushed under the rug as if nothing happened. and this is just for the guys who are being ACCUSED of shit. so u would think that if one of these hollywood scumbags is taken to court, found guilty by a jury of peers, and sentenced to a hefty amount of jail time, then justice would be served and said scumbag would be cast out from the cinema garden of eden as it were.

HA HA HA GUESS WHAT!!! THATS NOT THE CASE BUDDY!!!! MEN CAN BE ACTUAL MONSTERS AND HOLLYWOOD WILL STILL WELCOME THEM WITH OPEN ARMS LIKE SOME FUCKED UP PRODIGAL SON!!!!!!!!!!!!

such was the case with director Roman Polanski, who about 40 years ago was found guilty of sexually assaulting a 13-year-old girl in Jack Nicholson’s home (i used this article for most of the following info but if u have any corrections/anything else to add lemme know). somehow (and this still confuses the shit outta me) he escaped his final sentencing after 42 days in jail and has been living on the lam for the past 40 years, hiding away in his little scummy hidey hole in France. since the initial sentencing, he has written autobiographies going into detail about his attraction to young girls, and about how shocked he was that having sex with a 13 year old was considered assault. he literally has no regard or concern for the mental or emotional health of young girls, he thinks what hes doing is normal and perfectly fine.

did his colleagues shun him?? did the actors who previously worked with him denounce him???? HA HA NOPE THEY CONTINUED TO PRAISE HIM LIKE HES SOME FUCKIN GOD OF CINEMA

however it does seem like a good chunk of the general populace agreed that he was a fucking scumbag (thank GOD or i would have lost faith in humanity). i sure as shit do, now that i know about all of this. and im AMAZED that he was just able to flee the country and his sentencing so easily, and has made appearances at the Oscars and stuff since then. hes even been nominated for quite a few oscars since the 70′s when the incident occurred. actors continue to work with him, and the academy continues to award him, and it really does seem like he will never pay for his actions.

so its clear i think this guy is a real greaseball. but heres my problem: he directed one of my favorite movies of all time.

Rosemary’s Baby is lauded as a masterpiece of horror and suspense, and rightfully so. u wont find any of ur typical gore and spooky spectres that we tend to expect from most horror movies; instead this film takes its time to build up suspense, creating an eerie atmosphere and utilizing characters that just seem a little... off. and then finally once the mystery is revealed, it all culminates into one final moment of sheer horror that has stuck with me ever since i first watched it. and its clear to me that this movie has influenced A LOT of horror movies that came after it. i recently went to see Hereditary (ill probably review this soon) and saw so many parallels to Rosemary’s Baby, especially in the ending.

so im left feeling very conflicted, because i think all of our instincts when coming across a scumbag are to never support their business or their craft or their art ever again. i know the reason i will never buy jeffree star’s makeup products is because not only did he say some racist shit in his past, hes never truly apologized for it. but also, i wasnt all that invested in his brand to begin with, and im not really an avid makeup fan or collector. this is an entirely different can of worms, because i fucking LOVE movies. ESPECIALLY horror movies, its been my favorite genre since i was introduced to it as a preteen. and i cant just change my mind and say that Rosemary’s Baby is a shitty movie, because not only do i not actually feel that way, its also just objectively not a shitty movie by any means.

and thats what kills me. roman polanski is a talented director, theres no denying that. no matter how shitty of a person he is, his movies are not only competent, but quite a few of them have become timeless classics. i dont know if id go as far to say that hes a genius, but goddamnit hes made some really good films.

it makes me think about other situations where a scummy company or person can make something or sell something, and that thing is so good and amazing that people will continue to consume it, despite the maker being a piece of shit. like the whole chik-fil-a conundrum: they hate the gays but dag-nabbit those lil chicken nuggets are just so darn delicious!!! jeffree star is a blatant racist but man oh man, his highlighters are so bright and beautiful my cheekbones blind everyone who comes across me!!!!

and i will say that films are a bit more complicated than chicken nuggets or liquid lipsticks, because films are not only products, theyre art. and theres a certain amount of reverence given to art that will never be given to ur run-of-the-mill consumable product. so sure a movie is something u can buy and enjoy, but its also its own entity in a sense. it lives on in ur mind if its good enough, and can help shape and entire generation or society if its REALLY good enough.

so in the case of movies is it possible to completely separate the creator from his creation? on one hand, well not really. sure there were actors and set designers and cinematographers and screenwriters who actually put the whole thing together, but roman polanski was the train conductor, the maestro, the brains behind the machine. he was the one who hired the actors and set designers and screenwriters, so at the end of the day it was his vision.

on the other hand, unless ur an avid film enthusiast like me, most people dont really give a shit about directors. when people talk about how much they love The Breakfast Club or Nightmare on Elm Street or Jaws, and hail them as cinema classics, i dont think ive ever heard them even mention the directors of these movies. they just talk about the movie itself, which characters were their favorites, how much the story spoke to them. sometimes when im talking about trailers for upcoming movies with my dad ill mention that so-and-so directed it, and he’ll always just respond with a non-committal “oh okay”, like he doesnt really know what im talking about or why i would think its important to mention the director at all.

so now what the fuck am i gonna do??? i mean i guess theres really only one thing to do, which is to treat the issue with a nuanced approach. i still love Rosemary’s Baby, and i have confidence that i can continue to love that movie while condemning the director at the same time. there are still some movies by him that i want to check out because it looks like i would enjoy them a lot, but no matter how good the movies are, i dont think ill ever forget that they were made by a monster of a man even though it seems like hollywood has conveniently forgotten.

but anyway id love to hear from other people who maybe really like his movies and feel the same way i do, or even hear other perspectives on this issue in general. send me asks, comment on this post, whatever ur sweet lil hearts desire

ANYWAY tune in next time when i give birth to the antichrist im still trying to decide between the names Beezlebub and Baphomet i just love B names u know

#curly q reviews #curly screams into the void #harvey weinstein #metoo #me too #sexual assault #pedophilia mention #roman polanski #rosemarys baby #movies #hollywood #jeffree star #horror #horror movies

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curly-q-reviews · 6 years

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BOOK MOVIES (Part Three)

Cruel Intentions, 1999 (dir. Roger Kumble)

this movies kind of a mess good god where do i start

okay well first i’ll mention that in the late 90′s there was this trend in Hollywood of “re-imagining” classical works of literature as modern-day teenie bopper high school narratives. 10 Things I Hate About You is a reimagining of The Taming of the Shrew, “O” is a re-imaging of Othello, and Romeo + Juliet is a reimagining of, well, Romeo and Juliet.

this is where Cruel Intentions and our good old novel Les Liaisons Dangereuses come in. this movie obviously strays the farthest from the original French narrative, though the key elements are sorta still there, just in different ways. however unlike China’s Dangerous Liaisons where the changes still work for the narrative, the changes in Cruel Intentions just really dont.

get this. the movie is set. IN HIGH SCHOOL. WHY HOW WHAT

i could go on and on about how this is the worst decision for this narrative but i’ll just say that the reason 40-somethings or even 30-somethings work as experienced sexual experts is because theyve had years and years of experience. high schoolers are children. wee babbies. it just doesnt sound realistic that two high schoolers are sex gods.

anyway this time around our Valmont is a young rich prettyboy named Sebastien Valmont (lol) played by Ryan Phillippe; and our Marquise de Merteuil is his step-sister Kathryn Merteuil (lol) played by everyones fave vampire slayer Sarah Michelle Geller. yes thats right. his step-sister. u read that right. how wholesome. ignoring the sort-of-incest these two have really weird chemistry, like apparently they’re supposed to secretly be in love with each other but it never really seems like it??? like even with glenn close and john malkovich u could tell they had some history and some residual feelings. with geller and phillippe they just act like a couple whiny brats the whole time. also instead of the Marquise character being sympathetic in a few ways, geller’s character is portrayed and played as just ur typical 90′s teen drama mega-bitch high school girl. so theres that.

i’ll give Phillippe some credit, his performance was pretty gud albeit a little Malkovich-y. and his chemistry with Reese Witherspoon, who plays the movie’s Madame de Tourvel named Annette Hargrove, is real gud! id say that witherspoon’s performance is the best out of the lot, she has that sense of christian goodness that’s always been a part of the character but shes a lot less submissive/passive, shes smart and knows Sebastian’s game from the get-go. her finally giving in to him feels more like her own choice than Valmont forcing it on her.

im just gonna list the problems super quick because theres a lot: racism; homophobia; fetishization of girl-on-girl relations; stereotypical portrayals of gay men/black men/people with mental disabilities; like HORRIBLE portrayal of a person with mental disabilities; like really bad i dont know how they got away with it; sort-of-incest (previously mentioned); sexual coercion/sexual assault (which is prevalent in all three of these movies in different ways); sarah michelle geller plays her character like a 50′s cartoon villain; the dialogue is so bad and weird and sounds nothing like how a high schooler would talk, even if they are in the upper-crust of society; how everything comes to an end is pretty unrealistic and melodramatic

but it looks pretty and i like the soundtrack

watch it if u want it is a bizarre flick to say the least and a train-wreck to say the most. if anything watch it for the unusual dialogue, like 4 example Sarah Michelle Geller screaming “I WANNA FUCK” at her step-brother like a child who wants candy at the grocery store and throws a fit while their mother looks around in embarrassment.

#curly q reviews #book movies #cruel intentions #les liaisons dangereuses #roger kumble #reese witherspoon #sarah michelle gellar #ryan phillippe #teen romance #movies #90s movies

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curly-q-reviews · 6 years

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BOOK MOVIES (pt. 2)

Dangerous Liaisons (original title Wi-heom-han gyan-gye), 2012 (dir. Jin-ho Hur)

oh man what a wonderful movie!!! this is actually the first movie based off of Les Liaisons Dangereuses i ever saw, it was on netflix in the international section and it looked real gud. and it is real gud!! what i love even more now that ive seen the 1988 American version is comparing the two, as the American one more closely follows the original story. this one follows the plot closely for the most part, but the setting and characters are different in order for it to be more relatable for a Chinese audience. theres also obviously cultural differences that are really interesting to think about.

so starting off the big main difference between this flick and the American 1988 one is that this time it’s set in Shanghai in the 1930′s. i wanna guess that the director chose to focus on the 1930′s instead of 18th-century china because, culturally, the 1930′s in china more closely resemble 18th-century france (the original story setting) than 18th-century china did in terms of how expression of sexuality and gender roles played out in that time period. im probably really wrong in saying that but thats my hunch. the costuming in this film is gorgeous, you can see how european/american fashion influences are slowly starting to inject themselves into asian fashion around that time period so its this really cool mix of 1930′s western trends and traditional Chinese trends.

for our titular sex rivals we have 30-something socialite Mo Jieyu (played by Cecilia Cheung) as our La Marquise de Merteuil, and equally-aged womanizer businessman Xie Yifan (played by Dong-gun Jang) as our Vicomte de Valmont. Dong-gun Jang is sooo perfect for this role, he’s suave and devilish but when he finds the power of truuu wuv he shows a subtle sensitive side. Cecilia Cheung is equally as good, and these two actors play off of each other rly well.

as for our pure-hearted Madame de Tourvel, we have the equally pure-hearted and religious Du Fenyu (played by one of my fave Chinese actors Ziyi Zhang). Ziyi Zhang is so compelling in this movie, and the chemistry between her and Dong-gun Jang is waaaay way better than the weirdness between Michelle Pfeiffer and John Malkovich.

there’s something about the way the story was handled in this version that i like better than the American 1988 version too, theres less unnecessary deaths (i wont give away who) and the ending is actually pretty sweet in a sad way. its both a lovely drama/romance film and an equally lovely look into modern Chinese history/culture so go check it out its on netflix!!!!

#curly q reviews #dangerous liaisons #wi-heom-han gyan-gye #jin-ho hur #les liaisons dangereuses #book movies #cecilia cheung #dong-gun jang #ziyi zhang #romance #tragedy #drama #chinese film

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curly-q-reviews · 6 years

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BOOK MOVIES (pt. 1)

Dangerous Liaisons, 1988 (dir. Stephen Frears)

(authors note: i started creating specific categories for films that i watched and reviewed a few months into me writing them, and one of the first categories i came up with was for movies based off of books. as we all know, theres a FUCK TON of those. so im sure ill be writing plenty more of these kinds of reviews in the future. stay tuned for other categories like “Curly’s Tropes” where i write about a movie trope and then review two or three movies that fit into that trope in some way; “Weeaboo Fuck Special Feature” where i review that sweet weeb shit; and categories that are related to special events or holidays!!!)

movies based off of books are always a mixed bag for me. if i’ve read the book before seeing the movie, the experience is kinda ruined for me because im just thinking about all the ways the movie deviated from the book; and if i’ve seen the movie before reading the book i either A) dont want to read the book anymore because i already know the story or B) i read the book but my mind is already filled with the movie version so it kinda once again taints the experience. also this all kinda depends on the actual quality of the original book, as well as how much the movie actually deviated from the book. one thing i am 100% sure about however is how annoying people get when they read the book first and u didnt and they wont shut up about how much better the book was and by the end of the day u just want the sweet embrace of death

hhhhhokay moving on. this is gonna be a 3-part review because the original book im gonna talk about, a romance/drama novel series written by Choderlos de Laclos and published in 1782 titled Les Liaisons Dangereuses, spawned many many many different movie interpretations, but im gonna talk about the 3 that ive seen. TL;DR the story is about two former lovers who are constantly competing against each other in their own sexual escapades, trying to one-up each other with who they can get away with screwing. the man, Vicomte de Valmont, has built up a reputation in the Parisian upper crust as a lady-killer/womanizer/homewrecker, while the woman, La Marquise de Merteuil, despite being just as sexually devious, is more secretive about it (mainly because of the whole female oppression thing going on during this time period). some fucked-up shit happens during a particular bet they have going on and basically it ends up being a tragedy of Shakespearean proportions.

now this movie Dangerous Liaisons was released in 1988, and it has both a star-studded cast and a high production value. the movie is lovely, it has that 18th-century Parisian elegance/borderline-kitsch with lots of powdered wigs and lace and pastel color schemes and beautiful gowns. i can’t really talk about how well this film holds up to the novels because i havent read them but maaybe ill read them sometime??? i dunno now that im out of school reading classical literature is hard 4 me because of all the outdated language and big words that hurt my small brain

regardless the story is pretty intriguing, especially when u look at it from the perspective of La Marquise. Glenn Close is wonderful as this character, she is resilient and independent but its obvious that she is burdened by the fact that men can still have some power over her (18th century France being full of female oppression and whatnot). uma thurman gets the job done as a naive young virginal woman who gets caught up in this whole mess of a situation, so i’ll give her a pass. the only other performance on par with Close’s is Michelle Pfeiffer as the married pure victim caught up in this whole mess, Madame de Tourvel.

i cant really say as much for the other performances unfortunately. first of all why the heckie was John Malkovich, Mr. Serious-McSeriousManAllTheTime cast as a suave and charming womanizer???? hes so so bad for this role, he has about as much emotion in his face as a mossy rock, and he is also not sexy like at all. in fact hes extremely creepy at times, and his attempts at seduction look more like sexual harassment. Keanu Reeves bless his sad little heart does seem to be putting in effort to be a young cheerful naive young man who is trying to win over Uma Thurman, but his pretty face is also very very vacant most of the time.

i guess this movies pretty good, i enjoyed it. if it werent for Malkovich and Reeves i would give this movie a higher rating but unfortunately this just gets a soft “eh” from me. its on amazon video if u wanna take a gander.

#curly q reviews #book movies #dangerous liaisons #les liaisons dangereuses #john malkovich #glenn close #keanu reeves #uma thurman #michelle pfeiffer #stephen frears #movies #drama #romance #tragedy

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curly-q-reviews · 6 years

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The Handmaiden, 2016

(TW LOTS OF SEX AND A DECENT AMOUNT OF BLOOD/VIOLENCE AND SUICIDE)

(authors note: this was originally part of a 3-part series where i talk about director chan-wook park and some of his most famous films. i edited this review so it can be a standalone but if u guys want me to post the other two reviews let me know!)

JESUS CHRIST ON A CRACKER THIS IS GAY

so i saw this at the princeton garden theater around when it first came out and i was probably the only one in the entire theater that was expecting this movie to be at least a little gay. when we all left the theater i was looking at everyones faces and it was a pretty wide range between bemused and absolutely shocked/appalled. and then there was me, somewhere in the middle, in pure elated bliss. this movie delivered the gay, and then some. i am one satisfied bisexual.

also wow holy shit??? i think this is director chan-wook park’s best work yet???? like WOW!!!! NICE!!!!!!

now im gonna start by saying that this is a very different film from Oldboy (fucken LOVE this movie), and even from Stoker (not as good but i still liked it). in fact its safe to say that chan-wook park has never made a film quite like this before, and it was a refreshing surprise for someone who is familiar with his movies. if anything i would compare it to his film Thirst, in terms of its sex appeal and surprising sense of humor.

holy fuck okay theres so much to talk about with this movie i think my heads gonna explode

lets start with the story: its set in the Korean countryside in the 1930′s, a time in the country’s history when it was occupied by Japan, so theres a lot of mixing of japanese/korean cultures in this movie. so we have this korean girl named Sook-Hee who works at an orphanage, and is an orphan herself. she is a bit of a con artist and highly-skilled thief, traits that she inherited from her late mother (who was caught and hanged for her crimes). these talents catch the eye of a Korean con-artist who goes by the Japanese alias “Count Fujiwara”; he has a plan to get himself rich by marrying a japanese heiress with a giant fortune under her fingertips, then casting her off into an insane asylum so he can run off with the Sweet Dough. he needs some help though, a new handmaiden for his target the Lady Hideko, someone who is on his side and can convince the heiress to fall in love with him. so thats where Sook-Hee comes in. however, in true chan-wook park fashion, things arent quite what they seem, and this plot unravels deliciously as the film goes on.

okay so i was def expecting the sexiness from The Handmaiden, and like i said it delivered that in spades. what i was NOT expecting, however, was this movies fantastic sense of humor. it was really refreshing to watch a sexy movie that doesnt take itself too seriously, it has some really witty moments that made the whole audience in the theater chuckle. even the sex scenes were kinda tongue-in-cheek (or tongue-in-crotch IF U CATCH MY DRIFT EUEGUEHGEHGLEHGEH), they were energetic and over-the-top and a little silly at some points.

now u might be thinking “how does this compare to the lesbian sex in Blue Is the Warmest Color” (well at least i was thinking about that). WELL IM GLAD U ASKED. i mean u can tell that this movie was directed by a straight man, the sex scenes are a little exhibitionist. however i gotta say i dont think its a bad thing in this case. because The Handmaiden really is, at its core, this strange funny critique on people’s infatuation with sex and sexiness, and how that infatuation affects perceptions of women in particular. at least thats what i got out of it. with Blue Is the Warmest Color, the sex scenes were just too much, and for no good reason either. that movie was just a simple love story, it didnt need all that sex.

god i could go on and on about the comments The Handmaiden makes about porn culture, and the very distinct way that sex permeates Japanese media/culture in particular. god i mean u could even make connections to the way sex is treated in American media and culture. the scenes where these wealthy distinguished Japanese gentlemen all come to Lady Hideko’s uncle’s house to listen, enraptured, to Hideko all dressed up reading what was essentially ancient Japanese porno books, were very powerful in that sense.

the acting was so mesmerizing in this film, from all the actors, i really couldnt point out a weak one in the whole bunch. Min-hee Kim is a real stand-out as Hideko, and her chemistry with Tae Ri Kim as Sook-Hee is so lovely to watch. i liked Jung-woo Ha as the Count too, he has a strong on-camera presence. eveyrone was able to deliver a small level of campiness to their performances that a story like this demands, but were still able to get serious when the script called for it. also idk theres something really satisfying about listening to all these Korean actors switch from Korean to Japanese with their dialogue it was cool.

i mean at this point it feels pointless to even talk about it but as usual the cinematography is stellar, like i wanna print out and frame screenshots of some of the shots and hang them in my room. its so gud. hhhhhhhhh

i mean shit man what else is there to say its So Gay and i Loved Every Minute. im honestly flabberghasted that it wasnt nominated for any oscars in 2017 (but at the same time im not surprised cause the academy is run by a bunch of crusty old men who scoff in horror at the mere sight of a womans bare knee). i highly suggest watching it, im sure it can be found on amazon video but u’ll probably have to rent it, and then of course theres blu-ray and dvd copies. pick it up however u can its sooo worth it

bye bye for now kiddos im gonna go daydream of the day that ill find a woman who would be cool with us professing our love to each other by sticking silver bells in our hoo-has and “making them chime” if u know what im sayin if u catch my drift if ur eatin what im cooking if ur takin what im dishin out ;^) ;^) ;^) ;^) ;^) ;^)

#curly q reviews #chan-wook park #the handmaiden #sex mention #suicide tw #lesbian #lgbt #korean film #movies #romance #drama #min-hee kim #tae ri kim #jung-woo ha

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curly-q-reviews · 6 years

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Hard Candy, 2005 (dir. David Slade)

TW: PEDOPHILIA/MOLESTATION MENTIONS, RAPE MENTIONS, TORTURE, SUICIDE

(authors note: heres an old review from a year or so ago that i didnt edit much cause my thots remain the same HAVE FUN READING I LOVE YOU)

OH YEAH HERE WE GO GET READY FOR SOME DISTURBING SHIT

so this movie (which i think u can still find on netflix correct me if im wrong) is most well known for being Super Gay Icon Ellen Page’s break-out movie role, and me oh my what a debut it is. this was also director David Slade’s first feature-length film based on a fictional story; before this he had only done a few short documentaries on music events and concerts. He went on after this film to direct one of my fave vampire horror movies, 30 Days of Night, as well as the third movie in the Worst Vampire Franchise In Existence, The Twilight Saga. Nowadays he directs episodes of TV shows every now and then; he did a few episodes for the popular thriller show Hannibal back in 2013.

so before i even get into the details on the movie itself, i wanna give y’all a little film history lesson. so theres this sub-genre in film that not a whole lot of critics and movie-goers dare to really touch, called the “exploitation” genre. these movies are usually B-movie standards of quality, and they’re called exploitation films because they kinda, well, exploit horrible events and situations for entertainment purposes. the levels of depravity these films sink to varies from just mildly disturbing to OH GOD WHY SOMEONE PLEASE POUR BLEACH INTO MY EYEBALLS WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING. to give u an example, Cannibal Holocaust has been deemed one of the most infamous exploitation films in existence because it includes all of these Horrible Things all in one convenience movie package: rape, torture, cannibalism, beheadings, lots of murder, blood, gore, animal torture, and excessive nudity. just to name a few. so i think u get the idea now as to why exploitation films have such a sour reputation. but there are some Sick Fucks out there who are fascinated with exploitation films which is how theyve managed to remain somewhat relevant, not like i would know cause im totally not one of them, no way no how, im a pure innocent angel,

so theres another category under the exploitation sub-genre called “rape & revenge”. these are exploitation movies that all kinda follow the same story arc: woman gets raped and/or tortured, woman survives, woman seeks revenge on her attackers. I Spit on Your Grave is arguably the most famous rape & revenge film, and was kinda the catalyst for this trend. so how does Hard Candy relate to all of this?? i mean its technically not a true rape & revenge movie, because the female lead seeking revenge was actually not the victim in this case (i’ll get into that later), but it definitely takes inspiration from this sub-genre, especially with its strong Femme Fatale vibes.

ok so in Hard Candy u’ve got this 14 year old girl named Hayley (played by a baby Ellen Page) who’s been chatting up this guy online, who we soon find out is significantly older than her. like old enough to be her dad if he had conceived her at a young age. and this ain’t no ordinary mentor-figure chit chat if u catch my drift. they decide to meet up at this cafe in town, where hayley convinces this dude to take her back to his place. some really skeevy shit happens, like at one point she suggests making alcoholics drinks for them and hes just like “yeah sure why the fuck not” UUHHHHHMMMM U KNOW WHY NOT U CREEP. so she makes the drinks and he drinks it and whoa, hold on a diddly darn second he dont feel so good OH NOOOO HES PASSED OUT. i think y’all know where this is going.

UR RIGHT FOLKS the next hour and a half of this film is a cat-and-mouse kinda thriller where a fourteen-year-old girl traps and tortures a grown man/suspected pedophile in his own home. nice.

this movie’s strong points are without a doubt in the acting and the cinematography. ellen page delivers a really strong performance despite sometimes glaring flaws in the script and dialogue, its honestly a performance one wouldnt necessarily expect from a girl who has such an innocent & dainty look to her. patrick wilson holds his own as well, and honestly i dont think ive ever seen him do a bad job with his acting roles. hes like the Ol’ Reliable of actors; not too special or exemplary, just kinda there, handsome enough to have a good on-camera presence but nothing to write home about, and he gets the job done. i always forget his name when i think about him or see him in movies tho, like every single time i have to look him up on imdb. so i mean make of that what u will but i like him.

this movie is real stylish, with some beautiful interior design and a real attention to creating dynamic color schemes in every shot. the color red is very common in this movie, which idk what the fuck its supposed to symbolize but its a nice little touch. there are some moments where the editing of shots is kinda weird, like i could tell what they were going for but it didnt quite work for me. the pacing of this movie is also really nice, i have a soft spot for movies where the plot starts and progresses in real time because it adds an element of realism.

i think my main complaints have a lot to do with the script and dialogue. its like this movie wanted to explore topics like pedophilia, consent, and vigilante justice without going all the way with it. it just never really took it far enough for me; it was more content to settle in its stylish appearance and the shock value of its more disturbing scenes than delve any deeper. this is most obvious with our Vigilante Heroine, hayley; we find out that shes been stalking this guy and his friend who had something to do with the disappearance of a teenage girl in town in order to punish them. but we never find out what hayleys relationship is to the missing girl, in fact we dont know what her motivations are at all really. her victim jeff accuses her multiple times of being mentally ill, and she says that she sees a therapist, but its unclear as to whether or not she is just messing around with him. this femme fatale character is positively soaked in mystery, and in this case i dont really see it as a good thing. theres not enough substance to her, to the point where she feels more like a vengeful spirit or entity than a fully fleshed-out person. jeff is the only one who has any sense of identity, which means that the viewer cant help but to lend their sympathy more towards the person who should be the least sympathetic person in this whole scenario.

it sucks too cause i wanna be able to like this movie more, it has great potential and some real dynamic visual moments. and the story does start out strong in the first act, but starts to lose its momentum about halfway through due to the issues i just mentioned. but hey if u ever wanna watch a young ellen page snip a dudes balls off and throw them into a garbage disposal then i recommend checking it out at least once.

THATS IT FOLKS i love u be gud brush ur teeth an apple a day keeps the doctor away dont forget to wash behind ur ears i left some lasagna in the fridge if u get hungry the spare key is under the welcome mat if u need it

#curly q reviews #hard candy #david slade #ellen page #rape mention #pedophilia mention #sexual abuse mention #torture mention #suicide mention #movies #thriller #hannibal #30 days of night #twilight #patrick wilson #i spit on your grave

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