cuddlypissanarexic

[cuddlypissanarexic]

im recovered!! like fully so this and all my other accounts are gonna be inactive/deleted hope everyone can get the help they need

[cuddlypissanarexic]

moved to @punches-stomach-cutely

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wow i got sexually abused within a day what a shocker now i wanna kms even more!!

im looking for an ana coach who can be really mean

hey im looking for someone to be my ana coach. idc about age or gender or anything ill send body checks and shit too. i just want someone to like listen to my problems but then just bully the shit out of me like literally tell me im worthless and that i should die.

[cuddlypissanarexic]

i want more mutuals reply or like or follow or whatever if youre an active ana/mia blog november 2021

#ana mutuals #ana #ana blog #anamia #enby ana #enby ed #tw ed #ed things #ed disorder #tw eating things #restricted eating #eating disorder #cw disordered eating #anna miaa #bulimja #bulimiz #bullimic #anarex1a #anorecca #anorecya

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lol someone sent me a link to their only fans cause they thought the thinspo i was looking at was porn. oh how i wish you silly goose.

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cw complaining about grades and massive tw for addiction and suicidal stuff

fuck i cant do literally anything right all my friends get all as and i have like mostly bs and im a freshman so shit is supposed to be easy but since im a fucking failure!!! i lost this paper i really need to turn in for this essay!!!!!!! and i missed a day of honors english and now i have like a superrrr low b if i get a c ill literally kill myself!!!!!!!! i have nothing to say for myself im fat and i have average grades. i cant even say i got a job before everyone else cause now everyones working. im such a failure im gonna be homeless when im older or live with my parents my whole life which is not at all an option. i cant talk to anyone about it either i dont even remember how to confide in people apart from my fucking notes app and randomly bursting out in tears without being able to say why!!!!!!! im literally sitting here listening to me and my broken heart from like 2014 why am i so pathetic. and im so annoying too i wish i would just be a quiet kid but if i do that now 1 ill be miserable and 2 ill just look edgy avoiding my friends. i wanna die ik the grades arent even a big deal but thats like the one thing i could point to last year and be like see im not awful and now i dont have that!!!! my teachers would like tell me they were proud of me and shit since i had a lot of shitty stuff happen that year and now all my teachers fucking hate me!!!!!!!!! i cant even function without something to smoke. ughhhhhhhhhhhhh all that work for nothing because here i am relapsing super suicidal and addicted to multiple things!!! at least i cant get cigarettes but then that mwans im just always craving them with no way to get them. and not to mention people like call me slurs at school and shit for being a lesbian and make fun of me for being nonbinary all the fucking time. i dont wanna be here. i was supposed to go on a date today too. with a fucking 46 year old man???? why do i seek out shitty situations why am i so awful?? i want a fucking drink.

[cuddlypissanarexic]

tw my cal plan

ok im super high rn so if i dont follow this oopsie daysie ig but!! i wanna start restricting again whoop whoop!! recently i relapsed so in recovery and rn ive been eating like 2000 calories a day which i literally wouldve sobbed if i thought about that last year but what can ya do!! recovery was good but uuhhhhh im really bored not having something im trying to recover from. healthy person life was boring whats the point if i have everything i need?? anyways im gonna eat like 1200 cause i dont wanna get super sick again and hopefully thatll help. if i do that every day and excercise like 3 days a week ill be at my ugw by 5/22/2022 also please send meanspo or just like scream at me about how awful i am im in a silly goofy mood. also might fuck around and get an ana coach i think that would be quirky and cool and fun. i do not mean any of that i am so high what is even happening

#ana #ana blog #anamia #calories #getting skiny #tw ed content #ed disorder #ana diary

[cuddlypissanarexic]

Do you remember?

---TW: this is probably triggering to a lot of people I mention a lot of Ed things, it might seem as a meanspo but it wasn't meantfor that, it's just has a negative ending wich is a realistic view on the Ana stuff. Btw these words are more towards myself than anyone I've ever met or anyone that will read this post

Do you remember your starting days?

Everything is new, seems exciting, seems easy and a quick way to solve your problem. A quick way to solve yourself.

Do you remember the first few blogs and posts you read?

Do you remember how you didn't understood what did the letter combinations mean?

Do you remember the feeling of being scared while opening an Ana blog? Maybe you even used an inkognito tab just in case.

Do you remember your first plan? Planning the plan? Reading other people plans? A few cals for a few monts for a few kg/pounds.

Do you remember how you thought you could never do this or that? When you thought it's just isn't motivating for you isn't working for you?

Or when you thought that corps like figure was too much, and you wouldn't wanna go that far?

But now... Now your sitting in your room hungry or just binged, never anything else. Now the girls seem pretty and not too skinny more like ideal. And you lost weight but nothing has changed, your clothes don't fit you but your body "looks the same". You know all the meanings behind the letters, all the secrets, all the tricks, how to lie, when to lie, how to fake eat how to throw up and how to walk while everything is fading to black. You know everything by heart, front and back. Some bones are showing and you are so deep you don't understand why nobody noticed.

Ana coaches want you but they still don't like you.

Your clothes are big but you're still not skinny or dainty enough.

You use the tricks, all your knowledge but you still fail.

Everything is changed but you still feel the same. "Fat"

[cuddlypissanarexic]

yasss girlboss queen little girlthing femoid woman heart heart heart

[cuddlypissanarexic]

Me: diet culture is toxic

Also me: *starves myself*

[cuddlypissanarexic]

god dammit i liked my body and then i was like lolz i miss ana and now im counting again UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

#ana tingz #ana boy #not pr0 ana #ana #anamia #ana blog #anarex1a #anarecia #ana relapse

[cuddlypissanarexic]

don’t block me just write my name in the death note like an adult

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im not dead im in recovery and its going super well i wish the best for everyone

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omg thanks for the tag youre so sweet wtf ok

1 i have 9 tattoos (i did them all myself with stick n poke)

2 i also love horror stuff (i really like horror movies and i do spfx makeup)

3 i grew up in poverty so i lived with my grandparents until i was likee 10??

4 i have 4 bracelets i wear everyday and theyre all from close friends (and one ex close friend) and they mean a bunch to me loll

5 i have really dumb humor lmao idk what else to put

@rottxn-crows @leaveme-al0ne @may0xx @summer75 @thealmostpacifist

✨ Get to know your mutuals!! When you get this, it means someone wants to know more about you, so list 5 things about yourself you want your followers to know. They can be as simple as your age or as complex as your deepest fear, as long as it’s something you’re comfortable with sharing. when you’re done, send this to 10 people if you want to get to know them better!! 🌼💕

Well um sorry, I dont know ten people soooo

@thodimusprime @iamthelosingdog @musiksbrainrot

1. I am a percussionist

2. I have always had a very unhealthy sleep schedule since I was little

3. I was in the Undertale fandom from 2015-2019, not my best moment, haha

4. My birthday is August 7th

5. My favorite type of candy bar is Hershey’s Cookies and Cream

Now you know some things about me!😊

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Reblog if you're black tumblr.

You don’t have to be black, it just means you support us, you stand by us and you’re for us.

[cuddlypissanarexic]

tw venting, suicidal thoughts

OMFG I HATE EVERYTHING!!! i am so so sad all the time and im always tired and everyone hates me and is gonna leave i cant be alone again after getting used to this!! fuck i wish i just kept denying that my relationships were toxic cause then i could try to ignore it and at least still have friends!! also idk what my sexuality is!! like i know 100% i like women but i wanna be desired by men and it all just sucks and ik that like sounds very blatantly like comphet but ive always just been like yup im bi before so idk how to deal with it??? why am i like this idk why i wanna get worse when i already feel so bad!!! and im like a complete burden on my friends and its awful i just wanna sleep all the time but im scared death wont be what i expect!!! and also my parents are awful and idk why theyre like this!! maybe i wouldnt be so fucking mentally ill if they just did their fucking jobs right!!! ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! and i wanna get back with my ex but ik i cant do that cause shed be scared id leave the whole time and it wouldnt be the same!!! basically i just mega regret everything ive done ever!!!

[cuddlypissanarexic]

im alive i forgot i had to post lollll

if i never post again its cause i died going on a jog just now <333