burntoutbaby

[burntoutbaby]

Went to McDonald’s to binge during my lunch break and they weren’t serving anything from the breakfast menu (which is what I wanted) so I got away with just an iced coffee

Universe really said not today bitch

#Ana thoughts #Ana life #binging #restricting #like bro I just wanted a McGriddle #and instead I got reminded of my self loathing #jk tho bc I would’ve loathed myself if I had eaten just as much as I do now #if not more #idk man I just want to be pretty is that so much to ask

[burntoutbaby]

Just found out I get an hour lunch break at my job, so psyched to spend an hour everyday not eating

#lmao #y’all know I literally went and got an iced coffee and that’s it #vibing

[burntoutbaby]

a comedy of errors

#Yike

[burntoutbaby]

Dudes not me buying one of those mini printers so I can print out thinspo and stick it in my journal

#Some of it is just straight up drawings #Bc the printer does those easier #But I can deal with grainy ass shit as long as it’s something #Anyway #mentally ill <3 #Ed things #ana things #Osfed things #Ednos things #I’m so quirky lol #UwU

[burntoutbaby]

[burntoutbaby]

fasting nausea

does anyone have any tips or advice for fasting nausea? i hate it so much. i still fast i just feel like SHIT.

#Some good tips in the comments #Harm reduction #but also yeah I get Terrible acid reflux when I’m fasting or even just low restricting #Like girl I’m not putting anything in why are you doing this #But yeah my big thing is drinking some Gatorade (usually Zero) and someone else suggested that #whoever said ginger tea is also hella correct #Burns going down but it actually chills out my nausea very well

[burntoutbaby]

Just a little reminder...

Saw this somewhere 🙃

#milf dialogues

[burntoutbaby]

my family is going to a steakhouse for dinner tonight and ofc that terrifies me bc literally everything on the menu is high cal and they have the Best bread And my family knows I Love it so it’ll be sus if I don’t eat any

but it’ll be okay!

1: I’ve been liquid fasting for almost 30 hours at this post and I’m gonna do everything I can not to break it before dinner

2: I already know I’m gonna spend all day just reading the menu over and over again on my work computer so I’m not gonna go in unprepared

Plus even factoring in calories for 5 (five!) rolls, which is more than I’d eat anyway, even with some of the mid cal menu options I know I’ll def be at maintenance at the very Most and I’m comfortable with that

#Ana positivity #Ana thinking #but also all this effort just to go out for dinner #Ughhhhh #but whatever #liquid Fast #liquid fasting #Caloric restriction #pro ana #pro osfed #Pro ednos #Not pro just using tags #Starving yourself just to go out to dinner is #Not good #But I’m at where I’m at #Anyway eat something fun for dinner tonight everyone! #And enjoy it! #Ana thoughts #Ana life #Uhh #Idk other tags

[burntoutbaby]

Gonna do an experiment this week by trying my absolute hardest not to count cals

I’m just gonna liquid fast (not counting liquid cals as breaking, nor gum/mints) until I actually Have to eat something (whether bc I literally need food or bc it would be suspicious not to)

and still avoid meat at meals and dairy in general as much as I can

i won’t worry about added sugar tho bc hopefully it’ll give me Some energy (plus I accidentally bought oat milk with way too much added sugar for me so hopefully I can finish it this week and get the kind that Won’t make me have a panic attack)

i’ll go Back to cal counting next week + restricting added sugar but idk if I like the fasting thing I might do that too

it very much scares me to not count cals so I’m sure I’ll break at some point but I’m gonna try to sate myself by just keeping an eye on my cals burned bc I Know I can’t go a week without obsessing over that

anyway don’t be like me

#Liquid fast #Liquid fasting #Fasting #ana brain #Ana thoughts #ana life #Ednos life #Ednos brain #Ednos thoughts #Oh shit I was gonna tag osfed now instead #Uhhh #osfed thoughts #osfed brain #Osfed life #I don’t think it sounds as good as Ednos #Doesn’t have the same ring to it y’know #Restricting #Restriction #pro recovery #i Am seriously ducked up I never think about it until I post and I’m like #Wow #all these silly little rules and you don’t even get skinny #But y’know #We do what we’ve gotta do to get what we need in life #UwU

[burntoutbaby]

Bought some baby snacks ❤️ Thank god

#Y’all ive been into baby food/snacks for forever #Like I was on this train before they even built the station #Baby food #Safe foods #They’ll be work snacks #Ana thoughts #Ana life #ed thoughts #ed life #Osfed thoughts #Osfed life #I’ve finally fully processed that it’s osfed now and not ednos anymore #So I’m gonna try To actually use the right term lol #Pro osfed #Restriction #restricting #not #pro Ana #not pro just using tags #I’m tired #uwu

[burntoutbaby]

binging but still being at maintenance or below for the day >>>>>>>>>>>literally anything else

#Kinda wanna purge kinda scared to do that #I ate too much and I feel ✨bad about myself✨ #But I know that it’s still maintenance #and I need that to be good enough for me #Bc I’ve already binged so now it’s time to try somen #Harm reduction #So we’ll see what happensn #idk why I can’t type but whatever #Ssnjssn #Ana thoughts #Mia thoughts #Ednos thoughts #Ednos life #Mia life #Ana life #pro ana #Pro mia #Pro ednos #Not pro just using tags #Pro anamia #anamia #uhhh idk what I’m even tagging at this point we’re really just going for it #all My love everyone #Eat something you really enjoy tonight #it’s worth it #you deserve it

[burntoutbaby]

Hands down best part of restricting is that even just standing up is an exercise

#Heart rate goes ZOOM #restricting #Low restriction #High restriction #low restricting #High restricting #Medium restricting #Medium restriction #Pro ana #Pro ednos #Not pro just using tags #Ana life #ana thoughts #Ednos life #Ednos thoughts #Anamia #anyway I have an excellent deficit for the day but I’m trying to convince myself that I don’t need to burn 40 more cals #If I did it would round me up to the next hundred in my deficit which would be sick but I so badly do not want to do any exercise #Like just let my heart rate be #But I’m so close I feel like I’ll be disappointed in myself if I don’t #Idk but I’m annoyed #Oh I just remembered I need to start the timer on my liquid fast okay #Sorry my notes are truly a jungle of bullshit idk man #I’m doing my best out here #UwU #EDIT: did in fact do some squats and then did situps until I got those extra cals done. #I am mentally ill <3

[burntoutbaby]

watermelon makes safe food brain go brrrr

#Safe foods #I don’t like how sticky it makes me #Bc the juice gets everywhere #But it appeases both my texture issues and ed #Pro ana #Pro ednos #Not pro just using tags #Ana mood #Ednos mood #Ana vibes #Ednos vibes #Pro ed #Ed mood #Ed vibes #ed memes #Ednos memes #Ana memes #Seriously y’all my total intake for the day is gonna be a little less than 500 #And a little less than 400 of that is watermelon #Like that is straight up the only solid food I’ve eaten today #Anyway if you’re scared to eat have a piece of fruit or something #get something in your body #and fruit? Always good

[burntoutbaby]

So I’m sick which i 100% know means I shouldn’t count calories or worry about a deficit rn but yesterday was when I was Sick sick and I still got a deficit so now Im desperate to still try and get a good deficit even tho I know i should take some actual care of myself and also I am enjoying the hell out of my ritz and sprite but also I just saw the amount of Sugar on the sprite and I’m trying not to have any added sugar but my mom told me I shouldn’t worry about it bc it’ll give me energy but I Am worried about it and I don’t want to be worried about it and my mom wants to make grilled cheese for lunch and that scares me too

anyway long rant but I just wanna say that I am terrified of eating too much today (esp bc I could see myself getting too trusting of how I’m feeling and getting sick again but on the other side I feel like I wouldnt even mind that bc it would help calorie wise) and I’m terrified of Why I’m so scared of it but I am gonna try really really hard not to worry about it today bc I am physically ill and trying to get better and I wanted to remind anyone who’s struggling the same way that I am mentally that not only is it okay to take a break when you’re sick, it’s Good to do that. let your body Heal and get back to at least a relative amount of strength (most of us aren’t exactly Peak strength anyway but you know there’s a bottom limit you can get back to at the very least).

I truly wish that no one reading this would be able to relate to it at all, eating disorders are hell but I know that there Are people who relate to this and I know that as much as I wish recovery for all of you that doesn’t mean that our ED’s will just disappear, so saying to stay safe and healthy is almost laughable, but it’s relative. Take care of yourselves to the best of your ability, please, especially since we’re pretty much all in a weakened state already

#This scares me to post #Sorry it’s just a big block of text also #This is zero coherent thought #But anyway I’m terrified that I’m gonna eat too much today #Me getting sick came towards the end of like a? 36 hour I think? Liquid fast #And I had to leave work early bc I threw up twice #And now here I am still feeling like shit and I want to feel better but I’m also scared of what it’ll take cto make myself feel better #Also I’m just gonna give this all the ed tags I can think of to hope it reaches people #Bc it feels like an important reminder to me IDK #Sweetspo #Meanspo #thinspo #pro ana #Pro mia #Pro ednos #Ednos #ednos thoughts #Ednos life #Ed thoughts #ed life #Ana thiughts #Ana life #mia thoughts #Mia life #Harm reduction #anamia #anamiapro #I don’t actually know that many ed tags tbh #I’m doing my best #Eating disorder tw

[burntoutbaby]

I only know smoothie king from my childhood as “smoothies with a shit ton of sugar“ And to be fair the smoothie Im drinking rn Does have a shit ton of sugar But not any Added sugar which is what I’m trying to really pay attention to rn

at least to start

also I know this bitch will be filling

#I also got an energy boost bc i am easily upsold #And bc the whole “all natural no stimulants” thing pleases my orthorexic tendencies #Which come and harder and harder in force as I slide deeper into full on relapse #Not into legit orthorexia that has never been my actual problem but I do have those tendencies esp when I’m more deeply in my ed mindset #It also increases my urge to count liquid cals which when I’m in the softer stages I try not to do #So I’m counting this at half cal #Which is what I typically do with soup also #Although huh I just realized I haven’t been doing that with my soup that I made myself #Probably bc it is already intentionally pretty low cal so I didn’t think about it #I’ll share that recipe some time if anyone wants bc I stand by that soup #Liquid fast #the main thing is that I allow for these things when I liquid fast so #I’m all good there #Which means I could potentially have an entirely liquid day #Which would be baller #Liquid fasting #Time for a super slow treadmill walk #And then maybe some rowing if I’m feeling extra good #We’ll see #ana life #ednos life #But also I know it is bc I’m basically about to do an exercise based purge of all the shit I ate last night #Even tho I still had a really good way deficit wise #Idk man #I am ✨mentally ill✨ #And that’s really all there is to it

[burntoutbaby]

mac and cheese? Terrifying.

GOAT CHEESE mac and cheese? Clearly must be safe

#Idk Where the logic is here but it’s true #I LOVE Mac and cheese but now it scares the fuck out of me #But like #my dad bought a fuck ton of the goat cheese mac they were selling at aldi #And it still scares me if I’ve eaten a relatively “normal” amount of food for the day already #But when I’ve restricted all day? #Mf comfort food and safe for no real reason #Splitting a box with my brother and still being at less than 700 for the day is truly the best #But also I know after I eat it I Will feel like I just binged #But that’s the beauty! I won’t have!! #Safe food #Safe foods #Anyway some day I’ll make a list of my safe foods that make absolutely no sense and it’ll be great #Ed thoughts #Ednos thoughts #ana thoughts #ana logic #Ednos logic #Ed logic #pro ana #pro mia #pro ednos #Not pro just using tags #Also bc lowkey I hope someone sees this and is like #Yeah! Mac and cheese! I should eat some! #Bc I want also of you to eat and be happy #And know that you are so worthy of any food #Even if you have to find some way to justify it to yourself #Idk the brain fog is Real today so there’s no guarantee I’m making any sense at all rn #But this is all making sense in my low blood sugar brain

[burntoutbaby]

Feeling sad about life. in turn hating myself and my appearance more. Comforting myself by thinking of the super stupid rules I impose on myself bc I’m Definitely gonna get skinny this time

love this for me

#I’m not gonna fuck it up this fime #I can’t #I’m gonna be skinny #I’m gonna be pretty #And then I’ll be happy #Bc maybe I’ll finally have some semblance of self worth #ed thoughts #ana thoughts #ednos thoughts #ed tw #Sad tw #I’m sad and angsty and actually I’ve been having a really good time bit I still feel like shit #And that makes me feel even more like shit bc I should just be happy #This is what one day off my meds leads to lmao #I gotta make sure to take those tomorrow #But I think I would’ve felt like shit at this point anyway #Sorry y’all I’m just #Feeling a lot of feelings #Y’know? #whatever #Sorry