bitemebones

[bitemebones]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

#idk if all of this is necesssarily good advice for everyone #but #I need to remind myself of most of these things because I've bern in a shitty place lately and I'm getting into bad habits #so #reblog it is

[bitemebones]

you'll make it back.

[bitemebones]

Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form

#hunting tw #tw hunting #tw animal death #animal death tw

[bitemebones]

TikTok Teens, Carrds, and Oversharing

Be me (fashionable, transguy, 27, celebrating my 10th anniversary by going to a fucking supermarket because I'm too socially drained to go anywhere else).

Go to supermarket.

Be approached by a random stranger who really likes my gf's outfit.

Stranger is young-looking, seems androgynous and queer, and looks like they could either be a) a homestuck adult, or b) a fnaf kid.

(the second is proven to be true)

my gf is wearing a collar. It is not a 'dog' collar - it is a slightly froofy black and dark blue collar with a small bell, normal-passing enough to never raise eyebrows, but clearly either a little bit quirky or, for those in the know, a sign of our relationship to eachother. I collared her on our eighth anniversary, as a fully grown adult. She only wears it outside on special occasions, and our 10th anniversary seemed acceptable.

Stranger immediately flatters gf's collar, and in doing so breaks it to us that they are eighteen years old, and tells us about their sixteen year old boyfriend who will be staying at their house for the first time next week and getting drunk with them. They are going to give him a collar. They then tell us their long history of 'collaring' their past exes, rants about how exhausting it was asking for the collars back after breaking up, and how the collar they're giving her bf is an ex's collar that they've scribbled the name off of.

It becomes readily appareant that:

This person is too young to be approaching strangers.

This person is insanely misinformed about everything imaginable.

They live entirely on TikTok.

Complete Stranger We Cannot Escape For Many Reasons then goes on to tell us about their mental health. About their transition. About their entire fucking life. They had absolutely no sense of safety, of personal boundaries. They're autistic, they're adhd, they have did, they're a psychopath, they're,, etc etc.

They literally listed themself out to us like a fucking Carrd. We were complete strangers. We could have been predators. They told us so much stuff about their life, so many sordid details that we tried so desperately hard to navigate away from. They told us about their teenage boyfriend, about where they lived - THEY WANTED TO GO FOR DRINKS WITH US.

As a note, this is in England. 18 year olds are legally adults and can legally drink. We do not, however, enjoy being accosted by random strangers on the street. Smiling at a stranger on a street usually gets you stabbed. Especially in a Morrisons store.

You haven't known suffering until you've had to listen to an 18 year old Tiktok enjoyer explain how autism and adhd 'are the exact literal same thing' and 'they should know because they've read the whole dsm-5 back to front because oh aren't they so quirky and edgy' and 'did you know DID is actually also just autism too', and 'i have that too by the way', and then

they have the actual gonads

to think it's appropriate

to ask a random stranger

if they are also neurodivergent

(which i am)

and

MY GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE TIKTOK WHY THE FUCK DO TEENS THINK THAT COLLARING SOMEONE IS A FASHIONABLE CUTE PARTNER THING WHEN IT IS LITERALLY A LONG-TERM COMMITMENT AND THAT THEY SHOULD DEFINITELY NOT BE INVOLVING A SIXTEEN YEAR OLD IN THEIR KINKS OR GETTING THEM DRUNK IN SECRET.

AND ALSO WHEN YOU DIVULGE ALL THIS TO A STRANGER WHO TURNS AROUND AND SAYS "I'M 27" YOUR RESPONSE SHOULD NOT BE TO DOUBLE DOWN, BUT INSTEAD SHOULD BE MAYBE REALIZE THAT, OH, YOU JUST DID SOMETHING VERY VERY STUPID IN DIVULGING YOUR WHOLE LIFE STORY TO THIS RANDOM PERSON YOU DIDN'T KNOW, AND LEAVE THE CONVERSATION.

I did not end the conversation when I should have. I tried, very very hard to leave the conversation. I have absolutely devestating social anxiety and this was my first time shopping in weeks. I know that the second I knew they were essentially an extremely vulnerable baby trans I should have left the situation. Believe me, my GF and I tried (we even missed our bus because this person would simply not let us go), but we were absolutely, utterly blindsided (and honestly, 'shook').

I am, unfortunately, someone who sees this sort of person and wants to help them. Wants to reach out and smack tiktok out of their hands, and maybe educate them a bit. But that's not my job. That is not at all my job. I am too mentally ill and tired and old to deal with this. But I do wish them the best. But I do want to help them. But it's exhausting. And it's not my fucking job.

I fucking hate this I hate this I never want to go back outside again in my life I hate this I hate this

#kinkblr #morrisons #yeS I'm tagging morrisons okay I'm desperate for someone to pat me on the back and say it's ok #tiktok #carrd #mental health #help me #oh god #vent #rant #adhd #autism #neurodivergence #did

[bitemebones]

Sander Sides and Dissociative Identity Disorder

This is a topic that wanders in and out of the sphere of focus amongst the Thomas Sanders and Sanders Sides fandoms (the Fanders). I feel inclined to give our input as well as a thorough explanation, because I’m long winded like that.

For the purposes of credibility and clarity, we are officially and unofficially diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder (which used to be called multiple personality disorder). By this, I mean more than one therapist and a psychiatric nurse have told us it’s highly likely we have this disorder. However, our various institutions of mental treatment do not provide the primary diagnostic tools used to diagnose DID. We are having a hard time finding someone who can administer either the Structured Clinical Interview for Dissociative Disorders (the SCID-D) for either the DSM IV or the DSM V, or the Multidimensional Inventory for Dissociation (the MID) who also accepts our insurance. So according to medical professionals, we’re diagnosed. However, there are people in the community who will say you can’t be diagnosed without one of those two tools. My sibling is also diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder.

Since I plan on tagging multiple tags outside of the Fanders, I will very briefly summarize Sanders Sides. This is a youtube series starring a singlet by the name of Thomas (Thomas Sanders being the owner of the channel and actor, but he has made it clear that the Thomas in the series is a character and not himself). In it, he talks to different “sides” of his personality, exploring all sorts of issues while doing so. These sides are logic, creativity and morality with a fourth side of anxiety being added later (for those in the fandom, I know I’m leaving information out. Shhhhh. I am specifically doing so in case anyone outside the Fanders decides to go watch it). Later on, these four sides reveal their names of Logan, Roman, Patton and Virgil respectively. For those amongst multiplicity cultures, you should already be able to see why this might cause controversy.

Dissociative Identity Disorder is an extreme on a spectrum of multiplicity. For the purposes of this discussion, let’s give a quick run down of the typical names and types of multiplicity across this spectrum. (Using gender neutral pronouns because I cannot be bothered to type himself/herself/themself repeatedly)

1. Singleton

This is the average individual you will run into. This type of person is whole in and of themselves. They might have different ways of behaving with friends versus family versus work versus alone, but that is typically accepted behavior for a singleton.

2. Median System

This is someone who’s behavior implies more than one person. They may or may not consciously recognize this vague division with themselves, or they might have consciously or unconsciously created more extreme modalities of behaving for the purposes of getting things done. They are neither singlet nor multiple.

3. Tulpamancy

Originally a monk practice, this is when someone consciously personifies different aspects themselves. This can be either to sharpen skills or to learn about themself. An example would be someone who pushes their sadness into a box and talks to it in an attempt to understand their sadness. Eventually, this box is supposed to evolve into an independent being inside their head. Once fully developed, they are officially called a Tulpa, thus tulpamancy being the practice of creating them. They may or may not have a name or gender. They are neither singlet nor multiple.

4. Borderline Personality Disorder

I hesitantly place this on this list, but I feel it’s worth discussing for the purposes of this discussion. On the spectrum, BPD could arguably be placed anywhere on the spectrum below OSDD. There are 9 symptoms to diagnose this illness, and there are entire books written on it. I am not going to dig into that here, but suffice it to say that BPD could be argued to be on this spectrum. This is someone who is characterized by a distinct instability of self. They may or may not go by multiple names, but what defines them as a person swings wildly around. They feel or act unstable. They might change behavior, clothing style, or friend groups rapidly. This is a MENTAL ILLNESS and not something to be pursued. If you think you might have BPD, please seek professional help. They are typically considered an extremely unstable singlet or perhaps median at most. However, it is not uncommon for someone with BPD to pursue tulpamancy to help understand themselves or become an endogenic system to help define their unstable state of being. (However, if this person developed BPD as a result of trauma, they could arguably be placed within the traumagenic area of this spectrum)

5. Endogenic System

This is a broad term. Technically speaking, an endogenic system is strictly a system that came to exist naturally (essentially, trauma did not cause their identity split). As a result, this could include Median, Tulpamancy, BPD splitting their different ways of behaving to understand themself, or anything and everything in between. Some claim they just grew up this way. Due to the broad nature of the definition of endogenic, there is a lot of controversy surrounding it. I’ll touch a bit on that controversy later. Within endogenic culture, they are considered multiple.

6. Quiogenic System

This is a system who has no idea why they’re multiple. They don’t know if they’re traumagenic or endogenic, if its caused by childhood trauma, if they grew up this way, if they accidentally created their multiplicity, or any combination of the above. They might be singleton, they might be endogenic, or they might be traumagenic (Worth noting is a lot of traumagenic systems are amnesiac of their trauma. Something could have traumatically happened, but they have no recollection of what happened. Some are even amnesiac of their own amnesia. Meaning, they don’t know what memories they don’t know, and/or they don’t even realize they’re missing significant portions of their life where trauma occurred. This naturally causes a lot of concern and confusion). If you don’t know why you’re multiple, you deserve professional psychiatric help if it is something you struggle with.

7. Imitative Dissociative Identity Disorder

This is where we lean into the multiplicity debate heavily. Imitative DID is not an officially DSM recognized illness (DSM stands for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders and is the accepted standard for diagnosing mental illnesses). However, it is gaining recognition within professional psychiatric fields and multiple articles have been written on it. This is someone who either deliberately or unconsciously created their multiplicity. Believers in Imitative DID would argue everything discussed thus far would be Imitative. You can easily see how this causes strife, as this essentially states anyone who isn’t traumagenic is making up their multiplicity for whatever reason. Since multiplicity is so closely tied to how someone understands themself or themselves, this is like a slap to the face. It is not uncommon for traumagenic systems to call anyone else fake and incapable of understanding true multiplicity. Which traumagenic multiplicity comes with a LOT of problems that makes life terribly difficult or hellish. They get angry because they feel like endogenic systems are encroaching on their clinical terminology and stealing/redefining it. This in turn is considered to be devaluing their mental illness and struggles, ruining the official credibility of a set of illnesses that is already extremely stigmatized culturally and professionally. They also feel like endogenics are stealing/overwhelming/corrupting their admittedly few areas of clinical support. Knowing all this, it should be pretty obvious why there’s so much controversy here and why it can get so vicious.

8. Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder

This is not yet a DSM recognized mental illness. This is a form of PTSD created for the purposes of better encompassing chronic childhood abuse symptoms such as chronic feelings of worthlessness. However, this could also include trauma caused later in life. In that case, C-PTSD would be diagnosed instead of PTSD if it presents with what appears to be multiplicity. In both forms of C-PTSD, this person can present with one or two other supposedly different identities. The difference in personality is usually very obvious, and the individual does not typically remember what happened in this alternate state. It is unclear if they are truly multiple or not. If you think you have PTSD or C-PTSD, you deserve help and should seek it out as best you can.

9. Traumagenic System

These are systems that are created due to trauma. Clinically speaking, the large majority of professionals state this can only be caused by chronic childhood physical, sexual or emotional abuse. PTSD is almost always diagnosed comorbidly (comorbid illnesses simply meaning illnesses that are frequently diagnosed together on the same person). All traumagenic symptoms are defined by two or more distinct personalities/personality states/alternate personalities/or simply put: alters. These alters can be completely different ages, genders, or even ethnicities. Alter don’t even have to be human, presenting as animals, fairies or even rocks. This becomes terribly difficult to live with when say… a 5 year old, a wolf, or a rock alter ends up taking control (the clinical term being “fronting”) around family, friends, or even at work. Functioning independently can easily become impossible, although plenty of people manage it with treatment. If you think you might have DID or OSDD, you deserve professional help and should seek it out as best you can.

9a. Other Specified Dissociative Disorder

There are several different types of OSDD, but for the purposes of multiplicity only type 1 applies. Subtype 1a includes alters without clear boundaries between each personality. Subtype 1b is essentially DID without “lost time” (time during which the body was doing something but one or more alters do not remember what).

- I will add the caveat that OSDD 2 might apply depending on your POV. This is someone who has become convinced they are multiple via severe coercion/abuse.

9b. Dissociative Identity Disorder

This is a single body with two or more alters. In some cases, none of the alters will remember what anyone else has done. They might only be able to communicate via leaving each other letters. Other times, some alters might share memories and others might not. In order for DID to be diagnosed, there has to be lost time somewhere between the alters (as in, alter 1 might remember what alter 2 did but alter 3 might not). Whether or not this lost time has to be something that occurs in recent times or only something that occurred in childhood is a decision left to individual professionals.

Now back to Sander Sides. Knowing all of the information above, it should become obvious why there might be controversy surrounding the Sanders Sides. If you watch the series, it quickly becomes obvious that Thomas is a tulpamancer. Outside of the show, people have argued that Thomas Sanders himself might be median. Thomas Sanders himself has strictly denied any similarities between Sander Sides and Dissociative Identity Disorder.

This obviously puts Sander Sides dead center of the Imitative DID debate (endogenic versus traumagenic). Aside from that, there is the fact that tumblr in general has a gatekeeping culture inside it especially concerning any and all mental illnesses.

As for our personal opinion?

By all means, promote Sander Sides. We don’t even care if you present or consider Sander Sides to be representative of multiplicity, although I would generally discourage saying it is DID specifically, only similar in some ways. In the face of movies like Split and Sybil, multiplicity and DID especially needs better cultural representation. The fact that DID only ever makes the news when a criminal has revealed themselves (Like Billy Milligan, Billy Joe Harris, and Dwayne Wilson) makes this representation particularly important. As someone with DID, I would die for more media presenting DID as something other than dangerous. In fact, someone with DID or OSDD is far more likely to be victims than to create victims.

-On a side note: If you’re curious about multiplicity and how this may or may not apply to singletons in general, I highly recommend reading The Myth of Sanity: Divided Consciousness and the Promise of Awareness by Martha Stout. The DSM V is also a great resource for obvious reasons. For DID specifically, I recommend did-research.org . If more resources are desired, I can add them. I’d also encourage someone to reblog this with resources for these various mental illnesses, but I’m a bit too spent to attach that right now after typing all this.

Aside from all the debates, Sander Sides has helped multiple people come to accept their DID or OSDD. For some, it’s brought awareness to those mental illnesses. I know for multiple people with DID or OSDD, Sander Sides has been a huge relief. Finally, we get to see something that shows debates similar to the arguments that happen in our heads every single day. It’s a breath of fresh air. Is Sander Sides DID? No. Do I promote it anyway? Yes. Do I think comparing it can do more good than harm? Yes.

Do I think it’s possible for it to cause harm? Certainly, but there is far more good that can come out of it. It’s worth the risk.

(tagging @aromantic-asshole cause he asked)

(Also tagging a few big name Fander blogs, because we would really like this to make the rounds)

@tinysidestrashcaptain @treblesanders @randomslasher @sanders-sides-thuri @princelogical @milomeepit @theonlyjelly-iwillput-inmybelly @2queer2deer @ironwoman359 I know for a fact I’m forgetting people, I’m so sorry. I also don’t personally know over half of you and if this is unwanted, I apologize for that too. This just means a great deal to us, and we finally worked up the courage to say something. Also screw it, let’s tag @thatsthat24 and @thejoanglebook

[bitemebones]

I love that I can jerk off about guys now. That's just so neat!

[bitemebones]

as ao3 approaches almost 6x what they asked for, here are some other places to give your money to

Iranian American Woman Fund

Women’s Committee of the National Council of Resistance of Iran

Taller Salud (which is non-profit in Puerto Rico currently collecting donations for support after Hurricane Fiona)

Out & Equal (which supports LGBTQ+ during the hiring process + helps defend against workplace discrimination)

The Foundation for AIDS Research

Center for Black Equity (supports the black queer community)

Funds for Writers (which offers grants to aspiring writers so they can afford publication, time off from work, etc.)

The Audre Lorde Project (which directly supports queer POC in New York City)

PEN America (which helps writers in financial need across the United States)

This is an entire list of organizations supporting queer and BIPOC STEM students you can donate to

The BGD Press (which specifically publishes queer POC)

****but if you want to directly support the people who make you free content, the next time your favorite fic writer or artists makes a crowd funding post, opens commissions, talks about their patreon/ko-fi, donate your money there!!****

literally Wikipedia would be better at this point

[bitemebones]

It is morally correct to steal AI ‘generated’ characters. especially when they are being pumped out and sold for a high profit. They’re the ones stealing from actual artists, so fuck ‘em. Yeah, the people who may have paid for them have paid for them, but that’s their own damned fault. They’re making absolute bank from someone else’s art style being fed through a machine and stolen. If I take that weird amalgamation of a character and re-draw it in my own style isn’t that just the same thing? I’m not even going to make money off it, because I wouldn’t fucking dare charge for AI generated shit oh my god I hate deviantart.

#I'm not actually gonna do this because I don't see the point #but holy shit #logging onto deviantart for the first time in months and seeing what I think is my favourite artists' adopts on the front page #and going 'huh cool nice to see they're still popping out bangers' #only to learn it's an entire gallery of fcking AI characters generated using said artist's style and being sold for a high price #I'm sick of this world I'm sick of this I'm sick of AI I'm sick of this #I will band together with the closed species artists I used to hate so much just to fight this AI thing #nothing is worse than AI generated art. not when it's stealing space on a platform and real money from actually creative human people #this is why my depression keeps getting worse despite all the therapy lmao #AI #AI Art #AI debate #So fucking sick of it

[bitemebones]

Anecdote related to the "dating someone shorter is pedophilic" take: I had the reverse fear about my own writing. I hesitated to make my lead taller and more dominant than her BF, worrying that it wouldn't appeal to women (who statistically tend to want men taller and stronger than they are) and would come off as male wish fulfillment (this being when I identified as a man but already loved tall Dommes). I got around this by making the MAN the hotter one and the woman a gnarly monster.

this is because monster fucking is always the morally, aesthetically, and factually correct course of action

[bitemebones]

Can’t stop thinking about how another intersex (and also trans) person pointed out that the phrase “tme” (and honestly all language about gender that trans ppl use) was created without any knowledge, understanding, or consideration for intersex people and our experiences and how little the trans community actually knows about us

I’ve seen multiple variations of posts saying “only trans women are targeted by t*rfs and if anyone else ever interacts with a t*rf other than blocking them that means you hate trans women full stop and want to be a t*rf”

Meanwhile literally a week ago a bunch of fascists dogpiled one of my (cis intersex) selfies, one implied I should be beheaded, other agreed murder was the best option for me, and tons of t*rfs were involved in telling me how shameful it was that a man like me would pretend to be a woman with a hormone disorder, picking apart my appearance to prove I’m actually Male. This happens usually once a month and has been happening ever since I stopped hiding my intersex traits. These people genuinely seek the eradication of intersex people and will tell us to our faces that we’re just “sick” and need to be cured. Like, you know, eugenics.

Even before I was bearded, I still got “clocked” by people who called me male, a t*anny, asked if I was a drag queen or a transvestite, constantly constantly told my body is too “butch” for how feminine I am, or straight up just misgendered. While I was actively trying to pass as perisex! While I was fully closeted and working hard every day to look like a Woman(tm)! It’s only gotten a million times worse and more violent since I started being visibly intersex. I literally had a cis perisex gay male neighbor call the cops on me a couple months ago when I tried intervening on him abusing his partner, telling the cops “some transvestite” was harassing him because he thought the cops would be likely to harm me for how I present. It was an intentional act of intersexist violence through the lense of transphobia.

I’ve had to leave public places because I’ve panicked over how people look at me. I’ve pissed blood from being too afraid to choose a public restroom. I felt real fear and had to leave a women’s day rally I went to because people with specifically *transmisogynistic* signs made me, an intersex cis woman who experiences intersexist misogynistic abuse, feel afraid for my safety. Strangers in public have straight up asked me “do you have a penis or vagina” “were you born like that” “are u sure you’re a woman” like!!!

So when I see things that apply specifically to my intersex experience that specifically say they don’t apply to *tme* people or that anyone who isn’t a trans woman is transmisogynistic if they react to t*rfs, I have to wonder how much y’all are just innocently ignorant about what is happening to intersex people or if y’all are being intentionally intersexist. If I react to people who regularly abuse me, and people are calling me a bigot for doing so, that feels like major fucking gaslighting but it’s just intersexism.

I’ve dedicated so much time and energy learning to be an ally to trans folks, applying that to my everyday life and I continue to do so. But as I start recognizing my internalized intersexism and the intersexism that I face, I’m not going to tolerate people not doing the same for intersex people. Y’all can take the time to learn about us and how to be an ally to us. Y’all can stop dismissing our struggles because your perisex privilege prevents you from seeing the problem. We’re fucking stronger TOGETHER.

[bitemebones]

Increase or decrease of Bakudeku fanfics on AO3 every two months, since 2015 to today! Both graphs are the same: number of bymonthly fics in vertical and span of time in horizontal.

In the first graph I added anime events (ex. start of season 1, movie etc.) to see if any peaks of "so much more bkdk fics this month??" can be explained by some external event happening. In the second graph I added some manga events.

Under cut I will explain some of the peaks!!

In the anime picture, the biggest increase happens, of course, when the anime comes out in the USA, around June 2017, and when the second season comes out in Japan.

If you keep following the line you can see an enormous increase, that keeps going when season 3 starts and the Two Heroes movie comes out.

Then there is a bit of a pause, until season 4 starts, and another peak maybe caused (delayed) by Heroes Rising or caused by the Training OVA. Season 5 also causes a rise again!

[bitemebones]

cunts in this post are all fash

t slur, r slur transmisogyny warning under cut

Keep reading

[bitemebones]

a person i’ve never met before in my life: *greets me by name*

me:

[bitemebones]

I think I have reached my alcohol limit.

gf being a dick

feeling self destructive

it's 5am and I don't even wanna know how tomorrow will be..

[bitemebones]

I am very close friends with a prominent illustrator/creator on instagram/youtube and HOLY MOLY the dirt I have on this person and their business. Underpaid staff, no health and safety in the office, no covid safeguarding theough the whole pandemic, and then there's the fact that they sell nonbinary/genderqueer pride pins when they 'don't believe in nonbinary', was about to break quarantine rules after leaving the country during holiday season and not wanting to quarantine after returning, and all and all being a shitty manipulative person who admires bezos and literally seriously considered making NFTs until their employees argued them down from it, all while running a cutesy flowery shop full of good vibes

((I just can't say anything because it would ruin my life but hey-ho))

#small business #callout #I guess #i just needed to get thus off my chest lmao

[bitemebones]

bpd vent question thingy regarding characters and obsession

any other folks with BPD get this feeling when you see a character that seems specifically tailored to you? like a burning anger and resentment at the character, but at the same time the feeling of immediately loving the character and wanting to be the character while also wanting to date(?) the character, while also never wanting to see it again ever? and then your face gets all warm and you get jumpy or edgy if anyone brings up the character?

it kinda' feels like I know I'm going to obsess over a character the second I see it so a part of my brain goes "STOP, NO, YOU HATE THIS THING, KEEP IT AWAY FROM YOU, YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LIKE WHEN YOU GET OBSESSED WITH THINGS, IT'S UNHEALTHY", and maybe my body and brain reacts to that?

It's also probably a weird sort of jealousy around the specific character type, because I really relate to that sort of character and have a character of my own I'm really proud of, and seeing other characters worshipped for having similar traits riles me up because I'm a dumb-dumb

Anyway, Grimm from Hollowknight is doing that to me right now, and it's insufferable. He's so pretty and cool and everything I adore about a character, but my brain just reacts to him with pure anger and I do not for the life of me understand why.

#bpd #borderline personality disorder #mental health #hjelp #like I just want to know if people relate #I KNOW it sounds stupid and childish and over the top and like I'm making a big deal about something so tiny #but That's Also Why I Get So Uncomfortable #I just want to know if someone relates #yes I am 25 years old but I really cant help it for the love of god sTOP #vent

[bitemebones]

apologies for the really really odd question, but are you alright with mcyt fans interacting with this blog??? i havent been on tumblr in nearly a year and forgot most of the etiquette when it comes to dni criteria and who is ok with what, this is a bit of a comfort blog for me, but im also a big dream smp fan and i know a lot of people dont like them (/gen)

sorry for being out of the loop, but what’s mcyt? is that one of those kpop groups? is it a sex thing? what’s a dream smp? what’s /gen? I’m only 27, why do I feel so old?