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awoodenpen · 3 days
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Real photo of Neil Gaiman, floating to the Moon.
Midnight Pals: Patience
Thomas Disch: neil in the good omens game, is there a way to escape the dungeon without using the wizard's key? Neil Gaiman: ah! a very good question! Clive Barker: what? that's a terrible question Gaiman: ah but there are NO bad questions, clive Gaiman: curiosity is the rain that waters the seed of knowledge
Debbie Dadey: um excuse me sir neil gaiman but in Good Omens S2E42 aziraphale is shown performing the musubi dachi stance, but everyone knows that angels don't know karate Dadey:[pushing glasses up nose] i sure hope someone was fired for THAT blunder Gaiman: ah! a fine observation, thank you for sharing! Gaiman: so great to communicate with astute readers!
Gaiman: [putting gold star sticker on Dadey's forehead] i'm giving you a gold star for that Gaiman: in fact Gaiman: you all get gold stars! Koontz: oo! i want a gold star Gaiman: [putting gold star sticker on Koontz's forehead] and so you shall!
King: incredible! nothing flusters him! Poe: he's unflappable King: like the world's most patient kindergarten teacher Barker: no way, i don't buy it Barker: nobody's THAT patient Barker: i bet i could get him to snap Poe: clive
Barker: hey neil i've got a question Gaiman: yes? Barker: actually Barker:this is more of a comment than a question Gaiman: [sweating, veins in neck pulsing] ah yes, go on Poe: clive that's going too far
Neil Gaiman: you see dean Gaiman: you can see anything, do anything Gaiman: BE anything Gaiman: without ever leaving home! Dean Koontz: wowwww Gaiman: all you have to do is use your super power Koontz: my super power?? Gaiman: yes Gaiman: it's called Gaiman: IMAGINATION!!
Ray Bradbury: it was many years yonder when the open spaces were open and the blue skies were blue, and soda pop cost just a nickel and if you didn't have a nickel a smile would do, when you could see marshmallow dragons and candy corn castles in the clouds and you could do it all with the power of Dean Koontz: oh yeah imagination, i already know that Bradbury: and- what Koontz: yeah, neil gaiman told me Bradbury:
Ray Bradbury: listen neil i hear you've been going around extolling the power of imagination Neil Gaiman: ah imagination! the poor man's wealth, the prisoner's release- Bradbury: zip it bud Bradbury: there's ONE dream weaver in this town and that's me Bradbury: the limitless vista of a child's imagination ain't big enough for the both of us!!!
Bradbury: i have more child-like whimsy in my little finger, gaiman! Bradbury: and i will use it to paint a rainbow of nostalgic vibes that will have you crying! Bradbury: come at me, neil!! i'll make your childhood fuckin' magical!
Gaiman: wonderful, brilliant! just an excellent threat Gaiman: the craftsmanship of it was sublime, you should be very proud, ray Bradbury: Bradbury: are you Bradbury: are you being sarcastic? Poe: i don't think he knows how
Bradbury: you're so genuine, i can't stay mad at you Gaiman: perhaps, ray, there is room in the world of imagination for the both of us Gaiman: in fact, maybe there's room for ALL who seek to fly on the wings of a shared dream!
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awoodenpen · 9 days
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“And that was, in fact, Tolkien’s entire point.”
frodo baggins the iconic reluctant hero who saved the entirety of arda deserves so much better than “sam gamgee is the real hero” i said what i said
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awoodenpen · 15 days
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Mahomes saying Taylor talks about football like she’s trying to become a coach is hilarious but the most Taylor thing I’ve ever heard
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awoodenpen · 22 days
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Elon musk is such a spoiled little brat.
Mark Bankston has the patience of a saint
reading this deposition that just got dropped where someone sued musk and ohhhh my god it is this funniest thing ever . i can see why his lawyer tried to keep this confidential . they’re both maybe the biggest idiots . this is like ace attorney
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awoodenpen · 29 days
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I thought I posted this when it happened (3/19/24), but it looks like I didn’t
That was my little best friend. His named was (is) Jack. He passed away two weeks ago. I miss him a lot.
During our yoga class today (just me & wife with one streamed in our living room), I cried. He was my first pet: I never had one growing up and my wife came with a cat; Jack was my first. He was with me for 16 long years.
Thank you. I’ll keep you with me.
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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its time for the tantrum hole
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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RIP Johnathan Harker. You would have loved Death Cab For Cutie
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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wowww
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As a disabled person who's loved LEVERAGE and LEVERAGE REDEMPTION since the beginning - for the characters but also the whole ethos of performing acts that help people against crap systems, it's wonderful to be reminded that it springs from reality.
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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90% of those tweets were by his kids (Dick, Jason, Duke even). The plant pic user, Demi WW, and the one with rainbow pfp are Ivy, Diana, & Harley. There’s one by Bruce himself but it’s not the one you think.
a day on gotham twitter
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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It’s a service industry. You have to deal with so many adults.
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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I will not count any pets or my kids as the five celebrities. They are:
Aunt Gayle (from Bob’s Burgers)
Taylor Swift (from a Super Bowl meme)
Gonzo & Rizzo (from The Muppets Christmas Carol)
Queen Elizabeth II, but from Christopher Eccleston’s post with the comment “parasite-in-chief with her idiot hat”.
annnddd
Cecil Baldwin, on stage from the Welcome to Night Vale live show from my seat.
I think that these (the QE2 image is more CE) would show I would have an interesting time. Or something. I don’t know what the point of that all was.
"the 5th celebrity you have saved on your phone -" you and i live in vastly different worlds
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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in a kinder world i live in an i spy page
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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Highlights from the conference room where they nominated contenders for Word of the Year 2023:
• They put Skibidi Toilet on the projector to explain what “skibidi” means.
• Baby Gronk was mentioned.
• We discussed the Rizzler.
• “Cunty” was nominated.
• “Enshittification” was suggested for EVERY category.
• “Blue Check” (like from Twitter) was briefly defined as “Someone who will not Shut The Fuck Up”
• The person writing notes briefly defined babygirl as “referencing [The Speaker]”. He is now being called babygirl in the linguist groupchats.
• MULTIPLE people raised their hand to say “I cannot stress this enough: ‘Babygirl’ refers to a GROWN MAN”
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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Horrible new Cryptid! Thing of nightmares & cruelty! It can fly & gallop & swim, all while hunting you (and your bread)! I love/fear it!
My brain: You have so many tight deadlines. So many things on your weekly schedule. So many important jobs. You have to get important work done!!!
My hands:
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awoodenpen · 1 month
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Jumping on an art trend because drawing stupid shit is good for your health
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