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For anyone scandalised: I obviously mean the male chicken, duh ^^
I’m genuinely just curious about this
Also how many times did you pronounce/ sound out both words before you voted? hehehe
It would be nice if you reblog, no pressure tho :)
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I’m genuinely just curious about this
Also how many times did you pronounce/ sound out both words before you voted? hehehe
It would be nice if you reblog, no pressure tho :)
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I'm sorry I'm even asking, but what on Earth does "transandrophobia truther" even mean. Really poking the beehive with that one, but I've been drowning in the "radfem kool-aid" to borrow your very succinct phrasing, so I might as well, fuck it. - Yours sincerely: a very tired and confused trans man who hasn't been on Tumblr for a while. I'd send this off anon, don't give too much of a shit, but Karen has a reach greater than God it seems.
Basically, "transandrophobia truther" was coined by a person who decided a bunch of trans men loosely associated with a dude called Saint (who initially coined the term transandrophobia) were all bad, white, meanie TMEs who hate trans women despite several of the names belonging to POC trans people and many of the blogs explicitly supporting trans women as well as men and nonbinary identities. All because we want to talk about the issues trans masc people face and call a spade a spade when they're being a fucking idiot.
Let's break this down further...
Saint is considered an Awful Person because someone leaked screenshots from his password protected smut blog. He had been engaging in some squicky kinks that the person who leaked the screenshots decided meant he hated trans women and lesbians (despite all interactions being consensual mind you). They also label him a racist because he had been talking about omegaverse shit with the shorthand "abo", which apparently is also a slur against aboriginal tribes. Because you know, acronyms and shorthand can only mean one thing.
Anyway, this has kicked off a harassment campaign that's apparently lasted for months, and this blog eventually curated a "block list" with pretty much anyone who might've interacted with Saint or other people that's been victim to the harassment perpetuated and continued by two people.
This block list was apparently only supposed to be used by this person's followers, but it alerted every single person on the list through the @ system and of course was spread around. They also have been accepting additional names from anons and the like without apparently doing much background checking so. Yanno. Sure.
The term transandrophobia was created as an alternative to transmisandry in an effort to allow trans men to discuss the unique challenges that trans men face as trans men. Sort of the opposite side of the same coin from transmisogyny if you will (the coin is transphobia, but the metaphor breaks down when you remember intersex and nonbinary people are included in the umbrella as well. lol rip poetic language).
People protested transmisandry because it connected with misandry, which people (who argue against trans men having language to talk and make block lists because one person decided to force their followers to look at squicky kinks) don't believe exists (my feelings on misandry are far more complicated than what can be got into here without a massive derail). Transandrophobia is a step away from misandry, but since it was coined by Saint, people are using that as an excuse to shoot it down.
It's an excuse because elsewhere you find hints of their true intent: not allowing trans men and masc people the language to speak about their issues at all. First, there's the absolute asinine complaint that it's "basically the same thing as transmisogyny," like... okay, yes. They complain it's ripping off transmisogyny like transmisogyny isn't a ripoff of misogyny so. Whatever on that. Then you have people saying we should just use the word transphobia instead, completely ignoring the fact we're wanting to talk about issues that specifically face trans men and people who identify as trans masc. Shit like that.
Then you have the people who believe that trans women are the most oppressed and thus men should never have a say. This is rooted in radfem rhetoric, as with the advent of second wave feminism, one of the main schools of thought was that a radical (lol) shift away from men... wait let's not go so far back for now. That's another massive derail.
Anyway, there's a strong undercurrent of man hating that's been lurking around in feminism since second wave feminism. It's been evident through ideologies like lesbian separatism (see, gold star lesbians and how lesbians often treat bi women) and the "wombyn" movement that I in particular noticed in 2013 on tumblr -- I still believe TERF ideology against trans women is rooted in this explicit anti-man movement, but it was just under people's radar until trans women came more in the spotlight.
This man hating is even within trans circles, as you will often see trans women and femme people declaring T being a poison, hating their manhood and men in general, etc. It's understandable given their transition that they'd feel this way, but it's done in front of and oftentimes to trans men and masc aligned folks as well (re: the one poor trans boy who was talking to a girl and got told T was a poison in a gen chat. The girl apologized but claimed she was right. So this was both in a gen space but directly to a trans boy).
I also have a pet theory about how men are expected to be quiet in feminist spaces, and a lot of trans men and masc folks have grown up understanding the social struggle of women so it's easier for us to sit down and shut up, etc, etc but I won't get into that here cause that's it for explaining how radfem is everywhere let's move onto
TME/TMA mean Transmisogyny Exempt and Transmisogyny Affected. I won't get into the linguistics or where these terms originate, though I think it's from baeddel discourse --
baeddels being a group of trans women who mistakenly believe baeddel is a slur against trans women (and conveniently push out femme men and intersex people from the discussion) and started to "reclaim" the term, becoming extremely cultlike, narrowminded, and man-hating themselves, ending when the core group defended a rapist who had assaulted another member of the core group though there are people who identify with baeddels today
-- while TME/TMA might have its merits in a very limited context, it's become a way to say "trans women (TMA)" and "everyone else (TME)". This is incredibly stupid as it just creates another binary where trans women are the Most Oppressed but it locks the terms down so that they can't even be used properly (a cis woman getting beat up for using the woman's bathroom is, in that moment TMA. But she's not always TMA so...).
Soooo... because Saint is labelled a "bad man," transandrophobia becomes a really convenient scapegoat to try and push trans men from another word they can use to describe their unique situation in life.
But really, they don't want men to have language to speak about the things that hurt them.
Because in their minds men always have privilege... because they think every man is white, able-bodied, neurotypical, financially well-off and/or stable, passes perfectly, and never ends up in a situation where they must either out themselves and/or be forced off their HRT for some reason.
They think the pushback they are receiving is coming from above them (because we're men, so we're automatically above women), but it's not. It's a lateral push because at the end of the day... the world sees us as they do trans women. They don't see woman or man or person. They see trans.
And it's upsetting honestly that they don't understand that.
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Half an hour in and I didn’t expect this
I mean, I did expect “mostly off” to lead but it looks like my vote was pretty much the only one for “horizontally locked”, although according to the numbers there is one other person with me (right now at 25 votes total)
Please reblog for sample size, I’m really curious (no pressure tho)
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Please reblog for sample size, I’m really curious (no pressure tho)
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Reminder for artists and writers to OPT-OUT of Tumblr giving your posts to companies to train AI programs
Each of your side-blogs has to enable the "Prevent sharing" setting. It's not account-wide
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WIBTA for stopping hanging with my best friend?
I (19f) have a best friend (18f). We have been very close for years. We grew up in a small village, it is not uncommon for people of our age to get married. She got married to one of my family. He just turned 30.
I do think the age gap is weird, but anytime I've said anything against it she's blown up at me. I do understand this is her first relationship as we don't "date", but she doesn't listen. I don't like him but she won't listen. Her parents signed off on the relationship and are happy.
The last time I was with her we cooked a meal together and sat and ate and talked. It was good until her husband came home. I do not like PDA, which he has made fun of me for my whole teen years. In public, they are constantly touching. Well, in their home, they are kissing constantly with tongue. I've witnessed hands going under clothes.
They are "so in love" they don't care. I do understand it is their home, but they do it in my home too. I have politely asked them not to and they refuse to stop.
I feel grossed out and they don't listen. She still wants to hang out at times, but it is less then previous (which I expected with a new marriage). This happens every time I'm with them. I wouldn't mind a kiss or two, but hands going under clothes and stroking areas shouldn't be done in front of another without that person's agreement (which I do not give). WIBTA for not meeting them anymore? I know she is going to be upset and it will cause argument
What are these acronyms?
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Welp, it happened.
I have posted before about how blocking content on tumblr has no stigma attached
You – yes, you, person reading this – are allowed to block whatever tags/ content you want
You don’t need to have a “reason”, you are allowed to block and filter content “just because” or “because I don’t want to see it”
Content does not need to trigger or squick you for you to be allowed to filter it
This post is officially your personal permission to filter out whatever content you would rather not see
And this includes filtering/ blocking “#current events” “#current news” “#global news”
You are allowed to exclude/ block out current world events from your tumblr experience
This does not mean you don’t care!
Yes, you are allowed to filter content “just because” or “because I don’t care”
But filtering exhausting and upsetting content does not imply you do not care!
Compassion fatigue is a real thing!
Especially if you (like me) follow several, multiple, a bunch of activist bloggers
There are global crises everywhere, I just read of 6 genocides happening which is precisely why I decided to finally block/ filter out those “current events” tags
How to filter in the tumblr app:
Go to your own blog >
click the little gear in the top corner >
General Settings >
scroll down >
just above “Color Palette” there it is >
Filtering
Type in whatever tags or words you want to not see in the future
This works for filtering out user-URLs too, if you have specific people you’d like not to see posts by
The “full text” filter will, however, 1) also look at the URL of the prev to who put it on your dash 2) ignores spaces in the post
Example 1: You follow “microplasdick” and you filtered “orange”; if the OP is called “orange-fishburne” your filter will hide that post; if the person microplasdick reblogged is “orange-cucumber” your filter will hide the post. Doesn’t matter if the word “orange” is not within the post itself
Example 2: You have filtered “orange” and a post goes “I also ran getting to my bus” – that post would get filtered because it contains “o ran ge” in that sequence
So “#tumblr is my safe space” and for that to stay true, you’re most definitely allowed to block out current events/ world news
Please take care <2
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i have copied this comment without name because i think it is very kind and respectful and i do not want buckaroos interpreting it the wrong way. PLEASE UNDERSTAND this buckaroo is very sincere and has important points and please respect their way. i am going to answer in a way that is counter to their point and i do not want buds to go after them IN ANY WAY. THEY ARE PROVING LOVE AND THEY HAVE GOOD POINTS
okay here is what i have to say:
i have not transitioned and in this lifetime i do not expect to. i think you have a good point of 'how can you know?' and honestly i cannot know that is just how timelines and reality and perception work
HOWEVER i must caution against this train of thought slightly because what works for one buckaroos MAY NOT WORK for another. every time i talk about my non-dysphoric way there are plenty of well meaning buds, particularly fellow trans buds, who show up with posts in the tone of 'its only matter of time.' like i just do not understand yet.
this reminds me of bisexual buckaroos who are told 'you just do not know you are gay yet'. as difficult as it is to step out of our own dang minds, i implore buckaroos to accept that there VERY JOYFUL AND FULFILLED NON-DYSPHORIC TRANS BUCKAROOS who do not need to transition and never will and are healthy and happy without that. just like there are bisexual buckaroos who are not just on their way to being gay
a good way to look at it is like this: I LOVE MY MALE BODY. i think i am a very handsome buckaroo. i have masculine features in my muscle and height and frame. as far as how fate could have placed me on this timeline I WON MY OWN PERSONAL FOOTRACE. i am up on the podium and i am standing here with a medal around my neck. GOOD JOB CHUCK
HOWEVER when i look down i see that medal is silver. i am not going to lie and say it is gold. it is silver.
YES my gold medal is a female body. that is an objective truth to my trot. i believe my gender way is that of a women, but there is no part of me that is upset about where i have placed.
I GOT SILVER. i am not upset. there is no tragedy. in fact i am OVERWHLEMED WITH JOY not just to be on the podium but to be in this race in the first place. HECK YEAH I DID IT AND I GOT A MEDAL
of course this is not to dismiss the difficult journey of others. many do not feel the way i do and their trot is VALID. a dysphoric way matters and is important and these voices are important. they should be elevated and supported. i understand some do not share this podium imagery, and they feel PAINED by trappings of their body.
i feel so much for this. i understand and care for my dysphoric buds, but the simple truth is that is not my story. i cant just lie and say that it is.
it will never be my story. i cannot say this enough: i love my body. however i STILL believe my truest way is that of a ladybuck. if it was a simple button push to change me, then i would push it without hesitation.
but it is not a simple button push.
talk to almost any buckaroo who has transitioned and they will say 'transitioning is hard'. it takes time and work and money and emotional support. i am in awe of the bravery of buckaroos who trot this path, but all of that is not worth it for something that i already feel good about. SCRATCH THAT, i feel GREAT ABOUT. i feel overwhelmed with joy every day over just existing in this male body that i have been blessed with. YES buckaroo, i feel joy existing in a male body that i know is ladybuck on the inside. it feels interesting a cool and exciting.
but my truest way is STILL a ladybuck trot
i guess i am just trying to say that i love second place. im happy to celebrate it. i think my male body is really dang cool. it is not a 'perfect me' but it is really dang awesome, and i never really bothered with trying to be perfect
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Good evening back at you
Good morning faggots, dykes, and transsexuals
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My auntie was helpful, she knows me for 10+ years (not related, never even met) and she knows how much I struggle when I feel instructions are condescending or too micromanaging
I’m about to leave that FB group before the edit of my post is even approved 😅
I know my AuDHD likes steps I can follow but I absolutely meltdown over micromanaging and being forced (e.g. by a website) to click my way through parts of an explanation one at a time
I worry this sounds mean but this reminded me why I don’t interact with beauty bloggers or anyone else who makes things feel like some pitch for healthier/ better lifestyle;
I have gotten too much ‘well-meaning’ “just do this and this, follow these steps and your life will be better” to last me a lifetime and I’m barely in my mid-20’s
I don’t think it’s PDA or ODD but I definitely struggle with some form of demand avoidance or oppositional defiance-something-something as part of being mentally ill and neurodivergent
In a shocking revelation, turns out I apparently have wavy hair (presumably 2A or 2B)
Funnily enough, I only noticed I have wavy hair because my friend who helped bleach it said it curled up into ringlets at the back of my head;
that was a few weeks ago and now I’m trying to experiment and maybe give myself loose curls for Christmas
Aside from the jokes that not even my hair is straight, uh, do you folks have some tips?
I read up on the Curly Girl Method and its variation the Wavy Girl Method; I want to experiment with that and with enhancing my natural waves, if possible to the point of loose curls
What I’m particularly interested in is: if I twist my hair up or put in curlers, how do I make sure I don’t accidentally wrap/ twist against the natural waves? I would like to use curlers/ rollers to support/ protect and enhance the waves in my hair
Some facts about me, since I don’t know who this post will reach:
I’m a white European,
chin-length haircut,
my hair is currently bleached & dyed green,
I use they/them,
I’m not in a habit of washing my hair more than twice a week,
I generally struggle to build habits in the first place and too many steps to a process isn’t my jam
I work on building a proper hair care routine again though (I used to use conditioner and hair masks (deep condition) twice-thrice per week but I dropped that routine a while ago)
So, if I twist my hair up or put in curlers, how do I make sure I don’t accidentally wrap/ twist against the natural waves?
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I posted this same thing anonymously in a Facebook group and the first comment I got was longer than my post, ignored most of what I said, barely acknowledged I asked anything, and felt a whole damn lot like some sales pitch
It actually made me briefly cry from frustration
I now remember that being neurospicy doesn’t mix with Beauty Bloggers™️
I’m someone, I only ask for help after I tried and tried again to find resources/ figure stuff out by myself; I read about 6 different websites re: Wavy Girl Method and how to use curlers on curly/ wavy hair but no dice, hence I resigned to asking
But to clarify here as well: I do not intend to use heat on my hair; I don’t even own a hair dryer and I refuse to buy one – I am also not looking for a general “how to”, I am figuring things out, thank you very much.
Further clarification: twice-thrice a week is because I used to shower (and only then wash my hair) about 2 times per week
That Facebook reply really made me remember why I don’t interact with Beauty Blogs™️ (aside from that being antithetical to why I’m on tumblr)
I think it’s also my demand avoidance kicking in, when I have to follow step-by-step instructions, it always feels condescending
In a shocking revelation, turns out I apparently have wavy hair (presumably 2A or 2B)
Funnily enough, I only noticed I have wavy hair because my friend who helped bleach it said it curled up into ringlets at the back of my head;
that was a few weeks ago and now I’m trying to experiment and maybe give myself loose curls for Christmas
Aside from the jokes that not even my hair is straight, uh, do you folks have some tips?
I read up on the Curly Girl Method and its variation the Wavy Girl Method; I want to experiment with that and with enhancing my natural waves, if possible to the point of loose curls
What I’m particularly interested in is: if I twist my hair up or put in curlers, how do I make sure I don’t accidentally wrap/ twist against the natural waves? I would like to use curlers/ rollers to support/ protect and enhance the waves in my hair
Some facts about me, since I don’t know who this post will reach:
I’m a white European,
chin-length haircut,
my hair is currently bleached & dyed green,
I use they/them,
I’m not in a habit of washing my hair more than twice a week,
I generally struggle to build habits in the first place and too many steps to a process isn’t my jam
I work on building a proper hair care routine again though (I used to use conditioner and hair masks (deep condition) twice-thrice per week but I dropped that routine a while ago)
So, if I twist my hair up or put in curlers, how do I make sure I don’t accidentally wrap/ twist against the natural waves?
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In a shocking revelation, turns out I apparently have wavy hair (presumably 2A or 2B)
Funnily enough, I only noticed I have wavy hair because my friend who helped bleach it said it curled up into ringlets at the back of my head;
that was a few weeks ago and now I’m trying to experiment and maybe give myself loose curls for Christmas
Aside from the jokes that not even my hair is straight, uh, do you folks have some tips?
I read up on the Curly Girl Method and its variation the Wavy Girl Method; I want to experiment with that and with enhancing my natural waves, if possible to the point of loose curls
What I’m particularly interested in is: if I twist my hair up or put in curlers, how do I make sure I don’t accidentally wrap/ twist against the natural waves? I would like to use curlers/ rollers to support/ protect and enhance the waves in my hair
Some facts about me, since I don’t know who this post will reach:
I’m a white European,
chin-length haircut,
my hair is currently bleached & dyed green,
I use they/them,
I’m not in a habit of washing my hair more than twice a week,
I generally struggle to build habits in the first place and too many steps to a process isn’t my jam
I work on building a proper hair care routine again though (I used to use conditioner and hair masks (deep condition) twice-thrice per week but I dropped that routine a while ago)
So, if I twist my hair up or put in curlers, how do I make sure I don’t accidentally wrap/ twist against the natural waves?
EDIT to clarify here as well: I do not intend to use heat on my hair; I don’t even own a hair dryer and I refuse to buy one – I am also not looking for a general “how to”, I am figuring things out, thank you very much.
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It is deeply, deeply beneficial to TERFs if the only characteristic of TERF ideology you will recognize as wrong, harmful, or problematic is "they hate trans women".
TERF ideology is an expansive network of extremely toxic ideas, and the more of them we accept and normalize, the easier it becomes for them to fly under the radar and recruit new TERFs. The closer they get to turning the tide against all trans people, trans women included.
Case in point: In 2014-2015, I fell headlong into radical feminism. I did not know it was called radical feminism at the time, but I also didn't know what was wrong with radical feminism in the first place. I didn't see a problem with it.
I was a year deep into this shit when people I had been following, listening to, and looking up to finally said they didn't think trans women were women. It was only then that I unfollowed those people, specifically; but I continued to follow other TERFs-who-didn't-say-they-were-TERFs. I continued ingesting and spreading their ideas- for years after.
If TERFs "only target trans women" and "only want trans women gone", if that's the one and only problem with their ideology and if that's the only way we'll define them, we will inevitably miss a vast majority of the quiet beliefs that support their much louder hatred of trans women.
As another example: the trans community stood relatively united when TERFs and conservatives targeted our right to use the correct restroom, citing the "dangers" of trans women sharing space with cis women. But when they began targeting Lost Little Girls and Confused Lesbians and trotting detransitioners out to raise a panic about trans men, virtually the only people speaking up about it were other transmascs. Now we see a rash of anti-trans healthcare bills being passed in the US, and they're hurting every single one of us.
When you refuse to call a TERF a TERF just because they didn't specifically say they hate trans women, when you refuse to think critically about a TERF belief just because it's not directly related to trans women, you are actively helping TERFs spread their influence and build credibility.
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Vent post just… just because I need to get it out somewhere
Where do I begin…? Uhm, my deficiency– compensation for disadvantages was only issued for my first semester
So I didn’t have/ get any compensation for disadvantages in my second semester
Now I’m in my third semester and still haven’t re-applied for it yet because I’m still waiting on one professor’s written agreement on how she’ll accommodate me
Anyhow, I also was aware that there is a restriction that says I need to have reached 40 ECTS by the beginning of my fourth semester. I currently have 22.
I didn’t take any exams in my second semester because summer depression and overall exhaustion and I didn’t have my disadvantage compensation, blah blah
So… I’m at risk of being kicked out and – I don’t know the finer details of the officialese – might get barred from pursuing this degree. Because I didn’t…
Anyway, I have to write a plea to the exam commission that I want extended time for this 40 ECTS deadline.
And I was trying to… I was talking to the equal opportunities official but she said she can’t help me with that plea and only had additional information for the disadvantage compensation which I already got once and “only need to re-apply for”
And the official, she was like “oh so you don’t work and you live in this town? So you have all the time in the world to study for your exams” and… technically, yes
But that’s not how my brain works
That’s not how my AuDHD or my depression work
And she was also like “are you still set on this degree? You could change degrees or do something different entirely”
As if I’m not already doubting myself every step of the fucking way
Yes I want this! Yes I want this degree
But with how much society at large doesn’t want people like me to succeed in academics…
I had this topic with 2 people recently
About how “yeah that’s the difference between us, I keep my head down and I’m just enough myself that I can live with who I am without standing out.” That’s what one guy told me
And I replied that that isn’t possible for me. That I can not find an”middle ground” that
there IS NO MIDDLE GROUND
Not for me
I’m too… much. Or too little. Too autistic. Too ADHD. Too queer. Too physically disabled.
But at the same time I am none of these things ENOUGH to get the support I would need
And yes that made me bitter!
Yes I am a loner because each and every time I fucking tried fitting in, I was sooner or later told that I’m unwanted
That I can’t fit in
That I will never fit in
Except if I pretend I don’t exist and make myself as quiet and invisible as can be
I tried. Over and over and over again. In school. In vocational school. At work.
I was always too… I don’t even know I’m just wrong!
I’m too autistic, too adhd, too obnoxious, too weird, too…
I can not. I can NOT fit in. I never… something with me, about me, is so inherently antithetical to what society wants, that I can never quiet myself enough to fit in.
I tried.
I can not quiet myself down enough to fit in.
Anyhow, back to that deadline… I will need to draw up a plea so I can get… I don’t even know how many semesters more they will allow me
And it really feels like giving up is what circumstances drive me towards
I don’t have the diagnosis for my autism. I don’t have the diagnosis for how messed up my joints are. I’m physically disabled and I don’t have proof.
Society doesn’t want people like me to succeed in academia. Society doesn’t want people like me to be in academia at all.
Doesn’t matter I’m just passing through.
And I know me being bitter doesn’t help but with how my life went this far, I don’t know how I couldn’t be bitter
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Tumblr, I implore you!
I’m a French learner (A2 level if I’m being generous, I have some basic knowledge, can read better than I can write, and could probably struggle through an everyday conversation) and I’m looking for podcasts
Now the thing is when I search “French beginner podcasts” I get all the usual reports, news, short stories, bla bla bla
I want a continuous story podcast, I really love(d) TMA, WTSF, TAP, storage papers, Juno’verse, etc. and currently I’m hooked on Malevolent
I want a story-driven and plot-heavy podcast in easy French. I’m most easily hooked by heist- or investigation-stories. But I also just love a good mystery in general.
And I honestly don’t even want to open that can of worms as to why I’m trying to get back into French now of all times
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