whopissedmypants

[whopissedmypants]

Trans women will literally feel comfortable near you and flop down on their side.

#can confirm as a transfem

[whopissedmypants]

Adults: Following rules is good, not following rules is bad

Little me: Okay :] *follows a rule*

Adults: Oh my god look at this loser. He doesn't know that this rule is Secretly Okay To Not Follow. Dumbass. Let's all laugh at him

[whopissedmypants]

Like the film Ratatouille I too can be controlled easily by pulling my hair

[whopissedmypants]

parents as a concept are so crazy. What if the people who brought you into the world ruined you forever and ever

[whopissedmypants]

✨just fandom things✨

[whopissedmypants]

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYY

it’s crazy that i turn 26 tomorrow 🙃

on the plus side, i share my birthday with joe keery 😌

#I don’t know what time zone you’re in so it might not be your birthday #But I saw this yesterday and for me now it’s tomorrow so happy birthday

[whopissedmypants]

She’s making me reblog this 😵‍💫

Reblog if you’re also just a dumb little doggy:3

#mtf puppy #dumb puppy #transfem #bd/sm puppy #puppy sub #bd/sm pet #pet pl@y #lesbian #nonbinary sub #nonbinary #nonbinary nsft #wlnb #nblw #nsft #I’m such a good puppy for her

[whopissedmypants]

watching her stim and smile like a little idiot just makes me want to ruin her so much more

#ruin me mommy

[whopissedmypants]

*creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you* *creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you*

Not done.

*creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you* *creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you**creampies you*

[whopissedmypants]

TW: DYSMORPHIA

I love looking for a photo of myself for an instagram template and immediately remembering why I hate the way I look

#body dysmorphia #body dysmorphic disorder #gender dysphoria #tw dysphoria #tw dysmorphia

[whopissedmypants]

Watch me.

When I get on antidepressants, I’ll out pizza the hut

#pizza #pizza hut #no one our pizzas the hut #memes #antidepressants #depressed

[whopissedmypants]

nsft would you rather 🌼

be over-stimulated or edged?

be a voyeur or have semi-public sex?

finger yourself or follow guided masturbation?

watch yourself in a mirror or listen to a recording of yourself?

honey or ice?

sleep in lingerie or nude

receive a voice memo or nude from a mutual?

shaved or bushy?

grope yourself or be groped?

cuddle under a blanket or sleep nude together?

airplane sex or elevator sex?

kitchen sex or shower sex?

pool sex or workplace sex?

watch porn or read erotica?

receive or send a dirty message while at work?

have your dirty thoughts shared with those around you or know the dirty thoughts of those around you?

watch wlw or mlm porn?

hump a pillow or use a vibrator?

boobs or butt?

lose your virginity together or lose to someone well-seasoned

get fingered in the library or at a nightclub?

give or perform oral?

have “ok” sex daily or amazing sex once a week?

doggy or missionary?

physical touch or quality time?

moan or scream?

lace or latex?

white or black lingerie?

have someone remote control your vibrator or control it for someone else?

#please send asks

[whopissedmypants]

"you make my brain fuzzy" good. let me take away your ability to think. be my mindless little pet.

[whopissedmypants]

Guys I have a secret. I’m gonna marry her, but shhhhh, she doesn’t know

I have told her at least 10 times today

#lesbian #lesbian yearning #lgbtq #queer #wlw #nblw love #nblw post #nblw yearning #nblw #wlnb #wlnb sft #love #marrying #I’m going to marry her #sft

[whopissedmypants]

She’s so excruciatingly beautiful, I want to give this sexy girl the world, she deserves it all.

I can’t believe she’s all mine, like this GORGEOUS person is my designated person in life, I don’t even know how to describe how perfect she is, AND SHES FUCKING BREATHTAKINGLY STUNNING AND SHES PERFECT IN EVERY OTHER WAY TOO, LIKE AAAAAAAA

I WON, I WON LIFE

#lesbian #lgbtq #queer #wlw #nblw love #nblw post #nblw yearning #nblw #nblw sft #wlw sfw #wlw sft #sft #love #I love her #she’s everything to me #she’s so pretty #she’s gorgeous #sapphic #sapphic yearning #sapphic sfw

[whopissedmypants]

The way that I would do absolutely anything for her to get fed up with me teasing her and just fucking ruin me, I need that so bad

teasing ur owner til they snap and pound you so hard you can't even talk anymore it's all just incoherent sounds

"puppies can't speak, can they? and that's what you are, a dumb, slutty puppy"

#lesbian #nblw #puppy #dumb puppy #dumb pet #pet pl@y

[whopissedmypants]

You seem like a real sweetheart

I am an asshole