thisisthewade

[thisisthewade]

"Oh those sick &@*#. Count me in!"

Wade jumped up onto the counter and lifted his finger. "Listen, I may be a dick at times. But there is ONE thing I will never EVER break on. Kids. THE CHILDREN ARE OUR FUTURE SCOTT! We need to help them!"

He then bent down and picked up another cupcake to eat. "Mmm. These are REALLY good."

*Ant Mun drops Ant-Man into Deadpool’s territory with a plate of cupcakes and a mission to steal back some experimental drugs to help children that some idiots stole*

((Let’s see what happens.))

“Ooh!” Scott retracted his helmet and grabbed one of the cupcakes on the plate. “Red velvet.”

"DID SOMEONE SAY RED VELVET!? I LOVE RED VELVET!" Wade screamed as he pushed open the door. His mask eyes went wide when he saw the cupcakes. "Oh. M. Geebus. DIBS!"

He rushed to the cupcakes, pulling his mask up a bit and started scarfing down the cupcakes. "These are SO good!" He was still scarfing them down when he saw his other visitor. "Oh! Hi shrinky dink! What's going on?"

#the kids! #for the kids! #Oh these two are so great #antvnger #scott lang

[thisisthewade]

*Ant Mun drops Ant-Man into Deadpool’s territory with a plate of cupcakes and a mission to steal back some experimental drugs to help children that some idiots stole*

((Let’s see what happens.))

“Ooh!” Scott retracted his helmet and grabbed one of the cupcakes on the plate. “Red velvet.”

"DID SOMEONE SAY RED VELVET!? I LOVE RED VELVET!" Wade screamed as he pushed open the door. His mask eyes went wide when he saw the cupcakes. "Oh. M. Geebus. DIBS!"

He rushed to the cupcakes, pulling his mask up a bit and started scarfing down the cupcakes. "These are SO good!" He was still scarfing them down when he saw his other visitor. "Oh! Hi shrinky dink! What's going on?"

#omg #them #I love them #wade wilson #deadpool #antvnger #antman #ant man #ant-man #scott lang

[thisisthewade]

"Ooo! That just made me tingle. I love how you said that." He then turned the contract over and looked it over. "Do you think some sugar water or something could get it out? I can't use bleach, it would just destroy it. Eh, I'll figure it out." He shrugged. "OH WAIT!"

"HEY NOT WADE MUN! FIX THIS!" He said shouting to the sky.

//sure Wade.

Almost instantly the contract was shiny and sparkling. just like new. "YES! Alright, I will be right back! You're about to be the new owner of..." He squinted and read the name of the company. "Put the pedal to the metal. Ores and more. Huh. Now I'm sad I killed that dude. His pun game was strong."

Wade made sure everything was set and ready to give to Tony. "DONE! And I did great!"

"Hate fuck-ville....oh I could get with that. You wonder if silverspoon over here is like one of those top tier vibrators?" Wade realizes what he's saying and tears himself away from looking at the tags.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay. Kill dude. Sign over company. Got it! That shouldn't be too hard. There's a few ways I could probably do it. You see-"

Wade now stood there, covered in blood and a bit beat up. He was holding a signed contract also covered. "Well...that was easy. See? Didn't I tell you I could do it?"

#tony stark #superior iron man #iron mun #wade wilson #deadpool #poor iron mun #Wade loves you #he's really having a great time

[thisisthewade]

"Hate fuck-ville....oh I could get with that. You wonder if silverspoon over here is like one of those top tier vibrators?" Wade realizes what he's saying and tears himself away from looking at the tags.

"Sorry, sorry. Okay. Kill dude. Sign over company. Got it! That shouldn't be too hard. There's a few ways I could probably do it. You see-"

Wade now stood there, covered in blood and a bit beat up. He was holding a signed contract also covered. "Well...that was easy. See? Didn't I tell you I could do it?"

"Well EXCUUUSSSEEE me. I'm gorgeous." He did one of those beauty poses and the back ground seemed tos parkle. However that disappeared rather quickly as he went back to work.

"Alright so this supplier. Tell me about them. Do you want me to beat them up? Send them to the pits of hell? Use a still in development invention on them? Heck, I can just sit on them if that's what you want." As he said this, a visual depiction of each option seemed to appear.

"Oh hold on." he then reached his head out of the screen. "Hi Iron Mun, it's so nice to see you again. Been a while. Alright, back to this self loving meglomaniac."

He then looked back at Tony. "I'm game for pretty much anything. Just see some of my one night stands."

#deadpool #wade wilson #stxrksarc #superior iron man #tony stark #I'm sorry I couldn't help it #it was too great not to use the spongebob meme

[thisisthewade]

"Well EXCUUUSSSEEE me. I'm gorgeous." He did one of those beauty poses and the back ground seemed tos parkle. However that disappeared rather quickly as he went back to work.

"Alright so this supplier. Tell me about them. Do you want me to beat them up? Send them to the pits of hell? Use a still in development invention on them? Heck, I can just sit on them if that's what you want." As he said this, a visual depiction of each option seemed to appear.

"Oh hold on." he then reached his head out of the screen. "Hi Iron Mun, it's so nice to see you again. Been a while. Alright, back to this self loving meglomaniac."

He then looked back at Tony. "I'm game for pretty much anything. Just see some of my one night stands."

Wade Gasped. "What? You don't like my beautiful looks!?" He undid his mask and made a smouldering look. His scared face just as messed up as it was yesterday. Though his teeth DID sparkle. He then put his mask back on. "But if you can make me NOT look like an old man's right nut while keeping my AMAZING healing factors, then I'd be willing to let Ryan go...for now." He shrugged.

#v: god playing human | the superior iron man #these two kill me #it reminds me of that parks and rec meme #“Someone's going to die” #“Of fun!” #or they're literally barbenhimer

[thisisthewade]

Wade Gasped. "What? You don't like my beautiful looks!?" He undid his mask and made a smouldering look. His scared face just as messed up as it was yesterday. Though his teeth DID sparkle. He then put his mask back on. "But if you can make me NOT look like an old man's right nut while keeping my AMAZING healing factors, then I'd be willing to let Ryan go...for now." He shrugged.

thisisthewade:

Wade leaned back in his chair. "Well....this just got interesting!" He tapped his chin then held up his fingers, as if he was counting. "I'll take a boat load of Chimichungas. A date night with Ryan Reynolds." He turned to the screen. "Talk about narcissicm." He then turned back to Tony. "And one of those gold cards for an all expense paid shopping spree. What? I need groceries."

Tony crossed his arms, amusement glistening over his features.

"Chimichangas, a hundred-dollar grocery gift card, and how about I fix that ugly mug of yours and keep you cancer free? Call it the superior benefits package."

// @thisisthewade //

#This is genuinely so great #This is kinda perfect #Now how will they go? Who knows #but it could be great #also love the name of the thread #its perfect

[thisisthewade]

Wade leaned back in his chair. "Well....this just got interesting!" He tapped his chin then held up his fingers, as if he was counting. "I'll take a boat load of Chimichungas. A date night with Ryan Reynolds." He turned to the screen. "Talk about narcissicm." He then turned back to Tony. "And one of those gold cards for an all expense paid shopping spree. What? I need groceries."

“You must’ve heard I’ve been looking for you. I’ve got a little problem, and I hear you’re the best in business to take care of it.”

“A supplier for some of my rare metals has suddenly decided to sprout a conscience overnight and turn up his nose at the upgrades I’ve made to the city. Sure, I could go through the time and hassle of helping him see the light, but I’ve been a little too busy getting to know his mistress. It’s just easier if someone else takes care of him for me, you see?

“I’m a business man first and foremost; I delegate. This is me delegating. I know your kind has their price, so what I want to know is…What’s yours?”

#deadpool #wade wilson #tony stark #superior iron man #stxrksarc #SIM #Hope you don't mind wade popping in #I haven't used him for a while #might be fun

[thisisthewade]

"Oh shit!" He looks at the phone. "I GOT SOME GOOD ONES! Hey Steve want to show me America's ass? How about you Pym? Recreate that Thanus meme?"

📲 - @thisisthewade

Congratulations [WADE CHOKE ON A DICK WILSON], you've been matched with:

Hank Pym

Thanos' Nutsack

Steve Rogers

Best of luck in all your romantic and/or sexual endeavors!

#tony's shitty dating app #thisisthewade #I can't stop laughing #the thanos nutsack one! #You KNOW he would

[thisisthewade]

"Hey, I'm a romantic at heart. Isn't this what people always want to do? Be spontaneous and do random bs? I can even steal Steve's motorcycle so we can do that cliche trope of riding through a tunnel at night." Wade grinned as he washed off the soap and cleaned under his arms.

Wade grinned and moved his hand to grab the soap for himself. "Fine. Fine. Then we better hurry up and get cleaned! I'm sure we can find a reservation somewhere still. And then we can hit a flower shop before they close...or someone's garden." He then playfully slaps Clint's ass. "You have plenty of cake here, so I'm guessing you probably would like some ice cream or something."

#ahawkeyesview #wade is spontaneous #but also he's just random #sorry Clint ahah

[thisisthewade]

Wade grinned and moved his hand to grab the soap for himself. "Fine. Fine. Then we better hurry up and get cleaned! I'm sure we can find a reservation somewhere still. And then we can hit a flower shop before they close...or someone's garden." He then playfully slaps Clint's ass. "You have plenty of cake here, so I'm guessing you probably would like some ice cream or something."

"Well of course. Don't worry, I'm going to wash all over. I'm going to especially scrub a lot down low." Wade grinned as his eyes moved downward toward Clint's cock.

"So should I get started or do we want to get dirty more first?"

#hawkpool #deadpool #hawkeye #wade wilson #clint barton #ahawkeyesview #oh Clint #Wade loves you #I hope you're ready

[thisisthewade]

"420! UGH! SO CLOSE!"

"Wait, side you!? You're the side me!" He pointed his finger back and forth between them both. "This is all so confusing. Is this a new comic run or something? Is Ryan getting his ideas out for the third one?"

“I’m you but from the past future self you”

*GASP!*

"Does that make me you from the future past others me?"

#I can't #this is too great

[thisisthewade]

“I’m you but from the past future self you”

*GASP!*

"Does that make me you from the future past others me?"

#verydeadpoolindeed #deadpool #wade wilson #oh no #now there's two of them #everyone watch out

[thisisthewade]

"Hey @wxntersoldxt it's us! Look! Even Cable has a metal arm like you!"

#that whole hydra thread #this was them #wade wilson #deadpool #bucky barnes

[thisisthewade]

"It feels like a sean cody logo or something needs to be in the corner."

//right in front of my salad?//

// is it just me or does this seem mildly pornographic?

#im sorry #but im not #hes more talking to iron mun and its hilarious #cause youre right mun #now i cant unsee it

[thisisthewade]

"Just so you know. I did not send this. I've learned my lesson since Not Wade Mun didn't read the tags or threads."

//thanks Wade.//

🐶 puppy

"Do you know there are 27 bones in a human hand? Would you like to see how long it takes for all of them to heal?"

#I couldn't help myself #but also like... #anon you have a death wish from bucky? #also poor bucky #called a puppy AND wade showed up? #that's a rough day haha

[thisisthewade]

"Oh come on! Don't you think that could be fun! I could fight a Godzilla if it showed up. OOO! Or you can grow and we can wrestle in the harbor!" He pictured the scene, a little thought bubble escaping his head to show it like a movie. "So cool."

Wade dangled from Scott's fingers and kicked his legs. "But alright, let's get me big again. Being 'honey I shrunk the kids' has been fun but just looking at how far I'd have to walk to get from one side of the table to the other looks exhausting."

Scott’s jaw drops when he sees the vial in Wade’s hand. The stolen Pym Particles?! “Nonononononononono WAIT!”

And then Wade drinks them. He just fricking drank Pym Particles.

🤯🤯

@thisisthewade

#deadpool #wade wilson #scott lang #antman #ant man #ant-man #ask scott lang whatever #these two are great #I'm loving them #he likes Scott #so he won't be TOO much of a pain #but still a pain hah

[thisisthewade]

Wade faked offense. "Mutate? Oh, this sarcasm is all natural! I got it from my momma's side and a joke book from dollar tree." Wade looked over Tony's things curiously. "Oh, I just wanted to stop by and say hi. I heard you've been doing some real blade runner-y things and wanted to see them myself. Is this a Stark version of an Alexa?"

"So this is what happens when Amazon finally takes over the last Walmart huh? Well at least you're hotter than Bezos." -@thisisthewade

#wade wilson #deadpool #tony stark #superior iron man #interested to see how that goes #wades actually curious