tearssmilesanddeepthoughts

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

different

thinking they are different, thinking they wont hurt you like the others, thinking that just this once they might actually like you.

that was the problem, thinking.

#quotes #sad thoughts #thoughs #feelings

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

It’s the realisation of what my life has become.

I wake up

I go to sixth form

I go to work

I eat, if I have time

I sleep, if I can

I repeat

This has become a routine without even trying

Where did the joy go?

#emotions #feelings #sadnees #realisation #sad thoughts #late night thoughts #questions

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

Panic

The thing that causes the emotional restriction within me ,along with the physical boundaries that won’t allow me to enjoy my life.

I just wish for once that I didn’t feel panic every time i see or think of you.

#emotions #feelings #alone with my thoughts #feeling alone #anxeity #writing #tired #sadnees #sad thoughts #panic tw

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

opening up?

how do people open up.

because i either keep every little thing and detail to myself.

or completely overshare and embarrass myself.

#opening up #emotions #alone with my thoughts #feelings

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

life. mon, 24th jan

I knew this wouldn't last long, I would do it for a few days then forget about it because i have a hundred other things on my mind. it did happen and once again I chose to keep the things on my mind to myself resulting in ultimate panic and anxiety which is nothing new for me. though I am here now telling you all about me not writing much, well more like not at all.

I have a few small updates, work has being giving me extreme anxiety these last few weeks, sixth form is stressful per usual and I can't seem to stop worrying over every little thought and idea. and to top it all of I can feel the distance between some of my friends forming again, im not sure why but im hoping its just a small thing that wont last long as I feel as though have final found my group and my people in life no matter now cringe that sounds. though I still haven told them about this which is kind of cute but I currently like knowing that im the only person who knows im doing this and writing to no one because I dont really want anyone I know personally knowing how I feel, what im thinking because it would feel as though im bothering them even if they say im not, whereas here im bother no-one as you can easily scroll pass something if your not interested or dont want to read it.

I think that's why a lot of literary pieces are so deep because those writing them always feel a sense of sadness but by putting it a different perspective and a whole new person it feels as though they are not alone and someone else is also dealing with it. if that makes any sense.

that's all for now <3

#deep thoughts #thoughts #feelings #emotions #late night thoughts #reflection #life

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

jan twelfth

today was a strange day

It was neither good nor bad.I've come to realise I feel and care for everything so deeply that its got so exuasting that I've chosen to stop.

but that's harder than I thought because I still feel everything, every drop of joy to every strangled drip of sadness that wishes to escape. but I wont let it because it may destroy you, or me.

I still smile but I wish the smile would stretch further like it used to

I still frown but I wish people would take it seriously

I wish I was enough

I wish my emotions mattered to someone, not just my own brain and even then I don't want them.

#sad thoughts #thoughts #deep thoughts #overwhelmed #overthinking #sadnees #wishes

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

"smile"

that's what everyone's says

"smile"

but little do you know the last time I truly smiled it hurt more than just my face, it hurt my heart because you used to make me smile the most. its always shot through me, to my eyes to my cheeks and to my soul

but you left and now there's nothing left to smile about because you're not there to make me smile.

#fake smiles #sad thoughts #sadnees #heartbreak #frienship #relationship #lovers #painful

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

i'm starting to realise how eveyone around me is faking, much like i am. though you wouldn’t be able to tell with some.

some fake smiles other fake whole personalities just to ‘fit in’. i can say ive been guilty of this, more times than i can count. the only difference in my fake smiles have blended in with the real ones.

#thoughts #feelings #emotions #deep thoughts #fake smiles

[tearssmilesanddeepthoughts]

Welcome <3

hi,

I'm someone who typically struggles with getting out how they feel, more specifically in words as I feel so much that I wouldn't even know where to start.

I guess this is my starting point, who knows if it will make a difference to my life or to anyones life but its worth a try.

im not planning on realising my identity right now as I don't feel comfortable with anyone knowing. not that it will make a difference though because I assume your here for the thoughts not the person :)

this is a safe space for me and anyone reading this no matter who you are. you are welcome.

anyway, I guess I will just have to see where this goes

<3