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xvysarene · 18 days

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𝕊𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕤 ℝ𝕖𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕗

Pairing: Zayne x Fem!Reader Words: ~3.3k Genre: Suggestive Notice: 3rd person POV, Mentions of alcohol, Slight OOC Zayne (not a teetotaler)

"I know a healthier way to relieve stress, doctor."

Alcohol-induced thoughts had rolled off her tongue effortlessly.

She had expected his towering build to abruptly rise and leave her right there, appalled by the provocative comment. A disgusted expression or an unexpected snort would be acceptable too.

Yet, when she finally dared to face him, those sharp eyes locking with hers was not something she expected. Overflowing intensity caused her skin to tingle.

“You shouldn’t offer what you can’t deliver, Ms. Y/N,” his lowered voice warned her, sending a chill down her spine on hearing the way he had addressed her so formally, just like when they were in the meeting room.

The room suddenly spun, but not from the alcohol. No, she only had two bottles of beer, just enough to loosen her tongue like this.

The response in her throat dried as she saw him sipping his whiskey sans ice, Adam apple’s bobbing as he swallowed the deep amber liquid after letting it linger in his mouth, taking in the smoky flavour.

“Well?” Perfectly arched brow challenged her.

Heart pounding rapidly in her chest, she took one last gulp from the barely touched third bottle to calm her nerves before subtly cocking her head to the bar’s exit.

It was one of the rare moments she had seen him smirk and not in response to a challenge in the medical field.

The faint creaking from the bar stool was loud in her ears as he stood up, settling both of their bills with the bartender, and leaving a hefty tip. His surprisingly warm palm rested low on her hip as he guided her to his black sedan.

Mesmerizing city lights blurred. Her attention drawn solely to the sensation of his thumb slowly drawing circles on her thigh.

Next thing she knew, her back was pressed against the back of his front door, lips locked in a passionate battle filled with intense desire that made her knees buckle.

The strong thigh nestled between her heated core was the only thing stopping her from melting into a puddle on his floor. The friction, a welcome bliss, sending waves of pleasure coursing through her.

That was the beginning of the agreement, becoming a recurring occurrence whenever both of them needed to blow off steam from the stresses of demanding jobs. Him, saving lives, and her, dealing with difficult clients.

“Thank you for being my stress relief.”

His words cut through her second post-orgasm haze like ice water.

Somewhere along the line of what was supposed to be a no-strings-attached arrangement, small things like having a late-night snack together to deeper conversation during pillow talks grew to be a regular part of the deal.

Feelings for him had begun to bloom, much like the flowers outside with the arrival of warmer weather.

“Are you okay?” The sound of rustling sheets reminded her that she had been silent for too long while staring emptily at his ceiling.

“Yeah,” she simply replied.

Not satisfied with the answer, she felt Zayne’s fingertips lightly tracing above her collarbone, gently checking patches of skin that had turned reddish. They would undoubtedly be bruised by the next day.

“Was I too rough?”

Hands roamed greedily over her curves, warm lips on the sensitive dips and folds that he had become well acquainted with, growls of desire, and powerful thrusts flashed through her mind.

She tried to suppress the memories, though her body still hummed from the aftereffects. “No, just tired.”

He carefully took hold of her chin, noticing that she had been avoiding his gaze. "Y/N, you know you can talk to me, right?" his voice filled with concern.

“I think that’s the problem.”

Zayne’s calculated hazel orbs bore into hers, searching for the meaning behind her words.

“I’m not sure if you notice, Zayne, but for a casual arrangement, things are starting to get complicated.”

It was his turn to drop his gaze. For someone as bright as him, it would be impossible for the situation to go over his head.

He too must have realised the way their dynamic had changed over time; they had spent more time together in and out of the bedroom.

At times, they’d simply cuddle through the nights, providing a safe haven without the necessity for words.

She held her breath. There was no going back now. "It's starting to feel like more than just sex—it has been for some time.”

Retracted fingers sent a clear sign that he was about to take a step back, the gesture as clear as the darkness enveloping the night. The guarded mask was back once he met her gaze again.

"We both agreed that this was meant to be casual. I don't want either of us to end up getting hurt."

It sounded like an automated response even to his ears. He grimaced.

Y/N's heart sank. Despite the obvious signal of his withdrawal, his words still pierced her heart. "I see," she said quietly, distancing herself from him slightly.

Zayne could sense her disappointment and reached out to touch her arm. "Hey, Y/N, it's not that I don't care about you. I just…” his words faltered.

"I understand," she said, forcing a smile. "I believe it might be best if we stop doing this then."

He breathed out slowly. "Yeah, you may be right.”

A curt nod was directed at him. "I should probably get going anyway."

“Don’t be silly, it’s past midnight,” Zayne immediately stood up, trying to stop her. She tried hard not to look down at his abs or any other part of his anatomy. “I’m not asking you to leave. You can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch if you want.”

“I just prefer to sleep on my own bed tonight, but thank you for the offer.”

He watched as she quickly slipped on her clothes and gathered her things.

“Let me drop you off at least,” he pleaded.

"I'll take the 24-hour taxi on the corner of your street and send you my location," she shut him down with the same assertive tone she used when closing deals.

As he closed the door behind her, a part of him wished she hadn't seen him at the bar that evening when he had let his heart rule over his brain.

“What is it?” Zayne took the pen out of his pocket and began to add his notes to the patient’s file.

When no response came from the direction of his office door, he exasperatedly looked up, about to shoot daggers at whoever was interrupting him.

Greyson, his assistant and regrettably a close friend out of work, stood in place, watching his every move.

“Less than fifteen minutes to the meeting; you were normally ready half an hour before that.”

The grip on the pen tightened as he concentrated back on jutting his notes down, making sure he didn’t miss any important details.

“I have some urgent things to attend to earlier.”

Greyson hmmed. “Yeah, things that you normally assign to the junior doctors so they can 'practice more' as you often phrase it."

Zayne knew that engaging with Greyson was futile since he would never win—a rarity, given that he would typically be the one in Greyson's shoes in any other situation.

“Let’s go, don’t want to be late for such an important meeting.”

As Greyson walked one step ahead of him, he did shoot daggers at the back of his friend's head all the way to the meeting room.

Nervous fingers, poised to adjust the tie, froze in place as he noticed Yvonne sent Greyson a knowing look once they entered the conference room before setting her eyes on him.

“Ah, Doctor Zayne and Doctor Greyson are here,” the hospital administrator greeted them from his seat.

He cleared his throat. “Apologies for running late.”

“Not at all, Doctor Zayne. You are, in fact, right on time,” Y/N said, acknowledging him after finishing setting up her laptop for the presentation.

"It's good to have you back, Ms. Y/N,” Greyson said as he took the seat across from him.

“Likewise, Doctor Greyson.”

“No offense to your colleague, but we were afraid we’d get a new account manager.”

The smile faltered slightly on her lips, clearly taken aback by his assistant’s nonsensical comment. “I had a business trip last time, which was why I had asked my colleague to step in for me.”

“We find that consulting with you is a more enjoyable process for us, as you're familiar with our requirements, isn’t that right, Doctor Zayne?"

Greyson’s sudden query left him unprepared. He sent his friend a quick warning glance before nodding, afraid that his carefully crafted pretense of nonchalance would slip away.

“Right, since everybody is here, should we start the meeting then?” the purchasing manager spoke when he finally put his phone down, not paying attention to the conversation as he was busy texting anyway. “Ms. Y/N, what new devices do you have for us?”

As Y/N started her presentation, Yvonne’s hushed words reached his ears, “Would you like some water, doctor?” The nurse’s hand appeared in his line of vision, handing him a bottle of water.

“Thank you,” he replied, making the mistake of looking into the nurse's eyes. Her perceptive gaze told him she knew how surprisingly affected he was by Y/N’s presence.

For once, he regretted instilling in those who work under him the importance of being observant of their surroundings.

Y/N’s fingers traced the rim of the glass, lost in the haunting cadence of the singer's voice.

The lady poured her heart into each note. Each lyric dripped with the bittersweet of longing, a testament to love that lingered just beyond reach.

“Pretty uneventful for a celebratory night, don’t you think?” The bartender—Ethan, she had learned his name—approached her again once the end of the workweek crowd had slowly dispersed.

“Perhaps,” she replied, “but it allows me to rearrange my thoughts.”

She had found unexpected companionship with the bartender, who had recognised her from the night her loose tongue had led her into a difficult situation with Zayne.

Despite its prime location at Moonshadow Avenue, the jazz bar remained a hidden gem, often overlooked by the bustling crowds.

It was the perfect place to enjoy some time alone outside the confines of her home, feeling it a little too empty lately.

“People normally do that within the privacy of their home,” he responded knowingly. There was a kindness in his eyes, a silent reassurance that she wasn't alone in her solitude.

She sent him a small smile and savored the final drop of the ruby-hued liquid. A delicate hint of orange zest, weaving through the complex herbaceous notes, warmed her body.

Ethan took the empty glass. “And that, ma’am, is the last glass for tonight.”

When he saw her let out a playful huff despite the buzz that she was feeling, he offered a gentle warning, “Negronis can sneak up on you quicker than you think. Wouldn't want you making any bad decisions now, would we?”

"Alright, dad." Y/N playfully rolled her eyes to his retreating figure, feeling grateful for his watchful care.

As the band moved on to another piece, she cast a look around the room. Couples were huddled together, allowing intimate conversations to blend with the somber tones of saxophones and pianos.

The warm, honeyed glow from antique lamps illuminated their faces, creating playful shadows dancing across their features. Every exchanged smile spoke volumes of love in a myriad of languages shared between them.

Feeling a churn inside her heart, she grabbed her purse, ready to call it a night.

“It’s on the house,” Ethan tutted after serving another patron.

“I had more than one glass tonight,” she warned and slid the card to him.

“If I ever undergo heart surgery at Akso—God forbid,” he knocked on the polished bar to ward off any bad luck. “I’ll make sure to thank you personally for the devices you sold to them.” With that, he slid the card back across the bar.

Y/N shook her head at his antics and handed him a generous trip instead. “Thank you, but just this once.”

“Anytime, milady,” he quipped, bowing dramatically. “Get home safely.”

She waved goodnight and stumbled a bit, the buzz from the drink intensifying as she rose from the stool. Ethan’s advice was spot on—any more drinks and she might have found herself spinning along with the room, tripping her way out the door.

The cool breeze of the spring night air hit her, a welcoming sensation that helped clear her head. Phone in hand, ready to order a ride, she thought she caught a whiff of a sterile smell, a scent that reminded her of the corridors at the hospital.

Heart racing, she looked up at the sound of a familiar voice softly uttering her name.

“Y/N?” he called out again as she blinked at him.

It was Zayne, still clad in the white shirt and light beige cotton vest combo he had worn earlier in the day, looking like he just finished his shift.

Though he had rolled up his sleeves, allowing the world to get a sight of his strong forearms.

A faint sigh slipped from his lips as he extended a finger in front of her face, moving it from left to right, checking to see if her eyes focused on it.

“You’ve been drinking more than I thought.”

“What are you doing here?” Y/N countered, not expecting to see him.

Those unmistakable hazel eyes peered down at her, before looking to the side, lost in contemplation.

“I need to see you. Figured you might have frequented this bar again and I was right.”

Her mouth opened and closed, mind racing on how to respond to that.

The lively younger crowd suddenly shifted, eager to migrate to a happening spot as the night was still young to them, and she found herself jolted into his embrace.

Apologies from a younger girl fell on deaf ears as her focus was captured by the arms securely wrapping around her figure.

“Let me drive you home.”

It wasn’t a question. The same words he had uttered the night she left his house echoed in her mind.

City lights blurred into a colorful haze, much like the first time she sank into the plush leather seat of his car, though her thigh felt empty.

The hand that had rested on it previously was gripping the steering wheel tightly, trying to restrain itself. The silence between them was heavy, punctuated only by the soft hum of the engine.

“There’s something I need to talk to you about,” he finally broke the silence when her apartment came into view.

Zayne turned off the engine and turned to face her. “But seeing that you’ve had some drinks, it’s probably better if we do this when you’re completely sober.”

“Meet me upstairs,” the words came rushing out of her mouth, surprising him and her both.

He looked into her eyes deeply. “Are you sure?”

She nodded swiftly and opened the car door, stepping out before she could second-guess her decision.

Upstairs, weary feet paced back and forth, the sound of footsteps echoing softly in the quiet apartment. Fresh breeze swept through the opened windows, bringing clarity to her mind.

Soon, there was a soft knock on the door, and her heart raced faster. She was met with the sight of him who had shed his vest and tie. That sure wasn’t helping her nerves as he somehow looked even more dashing than before.

She could feel his heat as he passed her. Suddenly, her apartment felt small with Zayne standing there, his presence filling the room.

“You have been busy,” he remarked when he saw the pile of papers stacked on her coffee table.

“I’m just trying to do more work to take my mind off…” she trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

Of you.

“Of what?” Zayne prompted. “Is everything okay?” He genuinely looked concerned, softening her towards him even more, if possible.

“Just a lot in my mind lately,” she opted to say.

He hmmed understandingly and they resorted to another silence. Feeling parched, she took a swig of the chilled water from her fridge, aware that his gaze was tracking her every move.

"I saw you hurriedly walking down the hospital corridor a couple of months back,” he said quietly, “avoiding me as if I were contagious."

And yet, she had done it again earlier in the morning. After successfully closing the deal with Akso, the businesswoman's confidence evaporated as their hands clasped in a shake.

The familiar hold of his hand ignited a surge of memories, memories where he had once gripped both of her wrists effortlessly, guiding her into moments of ecstasy.

It prompted her to hastily make an escape.

"I just...didn't know how to face you, and I didn’t want to make things more awkward between us."

His hand caught her chin, lifting her head that had hung low from embarrassment. Her breath caught, only noticing how those broad shoulders were closer than before.

“I’ve missed you.”

Doubt stealthily crept into her. “You mean the sex?”

“That’s a totally different context,” he clarified quickly, "I care about you. More than I've ever cared about anyone else. And it drives me crazy knowing that I have hurt you.

“You were right, it hadn’t been just a casual arrangement for some time," he admitted, voice tinged with fragility that she had heard sneaking in within the safe space of their pillow talks. “I’m a coward who thought that completely baring my soul to someone will only end in heartache.”

“Well, I have a soft spot for this particular person who dares to bare his soul.” Her smile was gentle, though he didn’t miss the mischief twinkling in her eyes. “Did you finally admit that it was more than physical or is my mind playing tricks on me, Doctor Zayne?”

A small chuckle escaped his lips. “Judging on your playful quip even when I’m being serious and…” His thumb brushed against her jugular, feeling the rapid rise and fall of her pulse beneath his touch. “…seeing that you’re responding even to the slightest touch, it seems that you’re fully alert right now.”

Smouldering gaze pinned her down to the spot. Their heads tilted closer, drawn by an irresistible magnetic pull.

“Though, I never refuted that I didn’t miss the physical aspect, did I?”

A surge of heat rushed through that one spot south of her body. “So, Mr. Coward, what’s your next brave move going to be?” her words came out in a breathless whisper.

With a barely audible exhale, he grabbed her by the back of the neck. Mouths moved in a passionate dance of need, their kisses growing more desperate with each passing second.

As they fought for oxygen, he withdrew, forehead touching hers. “Are you sure this is something you want? Right after we talk about things between us are more than just sex?”

“Didn’t you confirm I’m ‘fully alert’ earlier?”

She tugged on his collar, drawing him closer until their bodies were flush against each other. The fabric of her pencil skirt felt constricting as his skilled surgeon fingers toyed along the waistband.

“Do you have work tomorrow?” she managed to gasp out in between her moans, tilting her head back, exposing the delicate curve of her neck to his wandering lips further.

“No,” he replied, voice thick with a feral need.

Puffs of hot breath danced across her skin, causing the hair on the back of her neck to stand proud. “Will you stay the night then?”

Full-blown dark irises locked onto hers, a sly curl exclusively reserved for her tugged at the corner of his lips

“I thought you’d never asked,” he breathed, before lightly nibbling on his favourite spot. The spot he knew would elicit the sweetest symphony from her lips.

Peppered purplish marks would for sure grace her neck for the next couple of days. And perhaps a few other places on her body too.

#ᝰ.ᐟ 𝐱𝐞𝐩𝐡'𝐬 writing nook #love and deepspace #lads #l&ds #love and deepspace x reader #love and deepspace x y/n #love and deepspace x you #zayne #zayne x reader #zayne x y/n #zayne x you #suggestive

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zot3-flopped · 7 months

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I don't understand why anyone would be shocked about Harry's success post-1D. He was always singled out as the Michael Jackson/Bobby Brown/Robbie Williams/Justin Timberlake from the get-go. It's not always about who has the technically best voice. You have to have the right mix of talent and charisma. Harry is so charismatic and puts effort into the image and presentation of his albums, music videos and live shows. That seems to be a lost art when it comes to make pop stars. Harry has gained many, many fans that were never into One Direction. Look on Facebook and you can see older people really like him and give him his flowers.

As far as the other 1D guys... Zayn got that early start and had a lot of potential to carve a JT/Weeknd type career. But his laziness and poor choices of singles for Icarus Falls (which he was obviously trying to ape Chris Brown by making it twice as long as it needed to be) derailed his momentum. How you fumble an opportunity to work with Timbaland so badly is quite impressive.

Niall actually did well for himself on the first album, and I'm glad he found a sound that works well for him. Idk if you've ever seen his full audition for The X Factor, but he was clearly just imitating Justin Bieber. He does not have a voice for R&B at all. Heartbreak Weather was derailed by COVID, and Niall was acting very passive-aggressively and salty by this. This new record was delayed a bit too long IMO, but it seems to have performed OK. I think Niall will continue to have a solid fanbase, but he'll never approach Harry's highs.

Liam is Mr. Trendhopper. Let's try a bazillion different genres and see what sticks. The end result was an album that had no congruency or artistic vision. Instead, we had an album with a random ass Christmas song, a bunch of random collaborations and a song that fetishes bisexual women (which reminds me of another former boy bander's song: JC Chasez's "Some Girls (Dance With Women). This was at least a bit more excusable since it came out in 2004. Liam really should've known better than putting such an offensive tune on an album in the year of Our Lord 2019. The fact that it got to #111 in the United States really shows how much he screwed the pooch.

Louis frankly has had way more success than he deserves. He can't sing at all, and with the way he's going I'd be shocked if his voice lasts another 5 years. Anyway, his albums are basically Oasis rip-offs drenched in dated imagery of hyper masculinity. Then there are his stage shows, where he puts in less than 0% effort and treats his own fans very poorly.

👏👏👏👏

#louis tomlinson #zayn #liam payne #niall horan #harry styles

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minemorse · 2 months

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The Clinic (Xavier's Story)

Me and my brother are here hunting down a monster. Not a monster what you think. It was just another name for a psychopath. Now me and my brother are disguised as teacher and student.

We were called here by the headmaster from Astra Academy, a boarding school for special people. He was not a vampire like us who lived more than a thousand years, he was just a long lived human who led his clan to build a school for children who had power and teach them how to control it and protect each other.

Like today when I attended the class as a new girl this year. All the students in this class prepared a surprise for their favorite teacher who was celebrating his 248th birthday.

I was lucky today because of cloudy weather. I shouldn't hide in my dorm room. So, the teacher came and he was surprised when everyone in class said happy birthday to him. I thought he looked like an old man in his fifties, but what I saw was, he looked young. It was like a man in his twenties, not two hundred. He has blonde hair and is so handsome. His name is Professor Xavier.

I let out my breath. What I was thinking? My brother and I lived more than a hundred years. And I still look like a teenager with this face.

“Are you a new student? Professor Zayne already told me.” Professor Xavier asked me.

I stand awkwardly. Now every eye in this class is staring at me. I introduce myself and after that he starts the first subject today.

I don't really pay attention to the subject. I just enjoyed seeing him. I have never seen a man who is so attractive when teaching.

…

Today was sunny weather. I didn't expect that after it rained in the morning. Maybe I should use a technology device that tells me the weather everyday. I ran to the clinic. Close the curtain in the windows and lay in bed with a blanket covering my whole body.

“Whoever you are who closes the curtains, thank you.”

I froze for a moment. That was Professor Xavier's voice. What is he doing here?”

“Professor?”

“Ah, you—”

I’m lil bit surprised that he remembered my name.

“Professor Xavier?”

“Are you feeling sick?”

“No, but I can't attend class today.”

“It's a sunny day to hide in the clinic.”

“That’s why I’m here.”

It was awkward silence for a moment.

“A vampire huh?”

I almost gasp when I hear it from him. “How about you? You’re 248 years old. Are you a vampire too, Professor?”

“No.” he said. “I’m a phoenix.”

“Oh.” I responded to him just like that. I heard phoenix classification for a creature who can come back from death. They will rise from their ashes. But I don't know if it was true or not. “What are you doing here, Professor?”

“Just take a nap.”

…

After that day, we always meet in the clinic on sunny days. Sometimes I wonder why there is no doctor there, but Xavier said the doctor was there if there was an emergency. So, me and him are always here.

We always talked behind the curtain, until one day Xavier opened the curtain between us. He said he wanted to see me when we talked. I’m lil bit shy, but I’m happy to see him and I enjoyed it when we talked to each other.

Slowly the walls between us crumbled and we just not only talked in the clinic.

Our relationship developed so fast. I almost forgot why I'm here. If my brother Rafayel does not remind me, maybe I can forget I had a mission too. It’s already been three months we have been here, and we haven't caught the monster.

It wasn't a sunny day, but I decided to come to the clinic. I lay down in bed and closed my eyes. Not long after that I heard footsteps outside and someone opened the door, closed it and locked it. I know it was him. I opened my eyes, and Xavier was there. He climbed the bed and held me tight. I can feel his breath in my neck and his hand under my skirt.

He was the first man that I allowed to touch me like this. I don’t know if it's love or just lust but I liked everything he did to me.

“Professor, did you think it would be a bit scandalous?”

I heard him laugh. He’s not responded to my question. He just moves faster, making me moan his name.

…

Tonight, like the other night, I'm disguised as the girl who comes home late. I heard the heavy footsteps behind me. I pretend to be scared so I start running. Like my prediction, he was chasing after me. I take the last breath, turn around to start a fight. And I feel the sharp object stab my palm and it feels hot, burning my hand.

That monster didn't stop. He pulled the knife and stabbed me in the stomach. I feel that burning sensation again. Now I realize, he stabbed me with a silver knife. Only silver can hurt us, a vampire. When he pulled again, my brother showed up behind him and killed him with his bare hands. Now, the monster is dead. That is the end of the life of a serial killer who killed more than ten women in this town for the past three years.

“You’re late.”

“I’m sorry, sister.”

My body got weakened from blood loss, and before I faint, Rafayel took me back to school and called the headmaster, Zayne. Zayne was the only doctor who lived in a school. No wonder he never showed up in the clinic. He treats my wound and I feel so tired.

“You need blood.” Rafayel gave me his wrist.

I shook and closed my eyes. “Just leave me alone and lock the door.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, just call if you need it.”

I still feel hurt in my wound. I tried to close my eyes but someone opened the door and locked it again.

“Rafayel?”

The curtains parted and I saw Xavier standing there. He looks worried.

“Professor Xavier,”

“What happened?”

“Just accidents. Can you leave me alone?”

“No.”

“Please,”

“No.” he insisted.

“If you are here I can kill you.”

“It doesn't matter to me.” He unbuttoned his shirt and showed me his neck. “I know you lost a lot of blood. I can help you.”

“No!”

“It’s okay.”

He held me and I could feel his heartbeat and his blood flow. My eyes turned red and without doubt I bit his neck. His fresh blood ran down his shirt. I suck it like someone who is dehydrated. His blood makes me feel alive again. My wound closed and I am not feeling the pain again.

Xavier looked at me and smiled. “Why are you so pretty when my blood is on your lips?”

Suddenly, without warning Xavier burned in front of my eyes. I gaped and my eyes were full of tears.

I killed him.

I killed Xavier.

I cry out loud. I have never cried like this before, but I feel my heart hurt. He died because of me. Now I can't tell him that I loved him so much.

I felt a pair of hands reach me, and I opened my eyes. I saw Xavier with a few ashes in his naked body.

“Don’t cry!” He wiped my tears.

But, my tears can’t stop running down to my cheeks. “Xavier,”

“Have you forgotten? I’m a phoenix.”

Now I jump to hug him so tight. “I thought I lost you.”

He was whispered in my ear, “You won't lose me,”

“Xavier, I –”

“For now and then I will always be by your side.”

It was more than ‘I love you’ for me. I feel like a leaking water tap. I cried with a smile that never left my face.

“Just sleep. Your wound still hurts, right?”

“Actually, my wound is closed. I was stabbed by a silver knife. I think I need to recover for a week but your blood makes it heal faster like a scratch wound. It was so fast like I've never stabbed before.”

Hearing that, Xavier moved to top of me. “If you say so, I want my reward.”

I chuckled when he started to kiss my neck and his hand started to take off my clothes. He kisses me passionately and I kiss him back with desire in my eyes.

FIN

#xavier #love and deepspace #fanfiction #xavier love and deepspace #x reader #xavier x reader

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atruththatyoudeny · 1 year

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Happy 28th! Here are all the fics I read and enjoyed this month. All my love goes out to all the amazing authors in our fandom who never fail to make my days better ♥

Your Gift is Wasted On Me | therogueskimo | omegaverse - strangers to lovers - strangers to friends to lovers - touch deprivation - touch aversion - therapy - PTSD - panic attacks - smut - 54k “He had a partner for a long time, and he says that he was too dependent. He doesn’t want an alpha, at least not right now. But he’s got a pretty severe case of touch deprivation. So it’s … not great.” “Is there anything …” “He doesn’t like to be touched. There was an incident a few weeks ago and he just … he can’t bear human touch.” ________ Omega Louis has severe touch deprivation and is averse to touch. But he’s fine. Really. Alpha Harry is the new neighbor who loves to bake cookies and is very curious about the omega across the hall.

All I know is I'm in trouble ('cause the atmosphere's so cold) | we_are_the_same | college/university - Christmas - enemies to friends to lovers - fluff - no angst - anxiety - 8k While on a holiday with his best mate Zayn, Louis meets Harry, who seems to dislike him from the start. It's just his luck he ends up getting stuck on a ski lift with Harry. Except maybe the universe knows better and he really is lucky.

Charm Your Pants Off | 4ureyesonly28 | Christmas - hospitals - doctor/patient - fluff - humor - 2k When Harry hurt himself in front of all of his coworkers, he thought his Christmas Eve couldn’t get any worse. That was, until he ended up in an actual ambulance. Perhaps the gentle and ridiculously attractive doctor he meets at the hospital can make his trip (pun absolutely intended) worth it?

Alpha Heater For Sale | stretchmybones | omegaverse - college/university - enemies to lovers - no smut - 3k He passed by the bulletin board in the hallway, as usual, flyers about open mics, dorm events, and the like. This time though, he stopped when a flyer caught his eye. The words “alpha” and “heat” calling out to him. Louis tilted his head at the flyer curiously. It read: Alpha heater for sale! Winter weather got you down? Call Harry for your warm, furnace-like needs!

Harry The Helpful Ghost | tempolarriefics | ghosts - human/ghost relationship - smut - 15k “I just like to help.” Louis blinks at the ghost in shock. “Were you the one who fixed the lights yesterday as well? And made me food?” “I helped you,” Harry says simply. He raises his eyebrows, nodding towards where Louis’ hands are folded in his lap to cover his erection. “Could help you out with that as well, if you wanted.” Or, the one where louis buys a house that may or may not be haunted and harry just wants to be helpful.

The Woods are Lovely, Dark and Deep (series) | HelloAmHere | werewolves - magical realism - Christmas - hurt/comfort - fluff - angst - pining - slow burn - 128k

1. You're Never Alone with a Moon this Bright Louis was a monster. But sometimes, even monsters get a Christmas. 2. Believe Me When I Say You Have It All Harry had never faced anything in this forest that had actually succeeded in scaring him. Louis was no exception. 3. Your Life Worth Walking on a Bright Morning For all its complexity, Louis sometimes reminded himself, life could always be simplified into a series of forks in the road. Even overwhelmingly big things were survivable when you broke them down to their choice. One path or the other, left or right. 4. But We Have Promises To Keep Maybe, Louis thought, from the beginning to the end, he had always known exactly what he wanted. He had always heard it, a quiet song in his head never giving up, because it had never been a thing apart from who he was. Someone who wouldn’t stop. Someone who could walk out into the dark, seeing nothing, having little, and still looking. The undeniable, terrifying, gorgeous truth was always going to be this: that he had a heart, and that that heart wanted to live.

#28th appreciation #fic rec #monthly fic recs #my reads #monthly reads #completed fics #larry fics

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ahalal-uralma · 1 year

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@oculus-de-malus tagged me to list ten songs that put me in a good mood - thank you! I am going to share five songs that are personal to me that bring me positive emotions. I have quite a bit to say about each, so that's why I'm shortening my list. Here you go and enjoy:

1. Feeling Good by Nina Simone

I grew up loving this one with my mom. This is my comfort song that reminds me of many mornings spent of drinking coffee and eating pancakes with her. Sometimes drawing together. This also features in one of our favorite shared films 'Point Of No Return.' ❤️

2. Sinkin’ Soon by Norah Jones

My aunt introduced me to the 'Not Too Late' album when I was a teen escaping from trauma. This song is acknowledging bad things happen and the need to overcome them.

3. Dusk Till Dawn by Zayn, Sia

I perceive this to be a song about a guy encouraging his love's need for healing and self acceptance. He doesn't plan on being there just for the fair weather. He's letting her know he'll support her through all of her days and nights, including the difficult ones. It's very sweet and compassionate to me.

4. Blinding Lights by The Weeknd

I have lots of fun memories being in one of my friend's car, her driving us around at night and listening to this song. She lived in the middle of the country and had another friend with a meadow as her backyard--it was one the few rare times in my entire life I could enjoy the stars--and we would gather together to camp out with a bonfire looking up.

5. Síscéal by Autumn's Grey Solace

This song is so romantic, ethereal and dreamy. My beloved introduced it to me around the time we first professed our affections. It connects to a very soft and gentle memory that I'll always hold and cherish deeply. I find it to be a great source for inspiration and solace--as it feeds my imagination, determination and gifts me with a sense of ease. I feel calm and creative when I listen. It reminds me it's not enough to dream—all that we long for must be realized, and every hope to obtain our wishes will be conquered when we feel each other's warm and tender embrace. I hope to hold him soon.❤️

I won't be tagging anyone this time, but feel free to do the challenge if you want to.

#tag game #tagged #text

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amommymilf · 18 days

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he is! he said he wasn’t hungover and he really didn’t look like he was half dead haha

so fun! i love driving, even just driving around town is fun! especially while listening to music. tho today it was kinda boring cause of all the traffic! oooo “shout out to my ex” is the best!!!

also reminds me that i forgot to ask who was your favorite 1d? 👀

no problem! i’m glad it made you laugh <3

- 🌷

haha that’s good!! sometimes that can be so rough 😭

that song is so fun!! and yeah i agree. I love that, sometimes just going for a drive in the evening or night and blasting my music with the windows down when the weather is good is so nice 🥰

zayn and louis ☺️

thank you 🥰🥰

#answered 🪼#🌷

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1d1195 · 28 days

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omg I don’t even blame you texting harry sounds like a dream come true DONT SAY ANYTHING BUT IM SOSOSOSO EXICTED

I saw this screenshot of a tiktok once that said something like “me knowing ive met some of my best friends bc we both liked some guy on the internet at the same time” (the girl was talking ant harry ofc) AND I SPENT SM TIME LOOKING FOR IT and I couldn’t find it again :( but it reminded me of us and just everyone on this blog. we really did discover each other cause some guy we’re all obsessed with.

i love On My Own !!! Ive be getting into Heartbreak Weather again specifically Small Talk and Still (totally opposite vibes ik😭) Im just completely in love with that album and anything that man does lol

im def an OG swiftie my sister got me to listen to her back in the fearless era and ive been a obsessed ever since. i sorta grew up with her and will forever support that woman, she’s just been through so much and I have so much respect for her. Im soooo psyched for this new album as well cause the vibes are just…PERFECT so far.

OH NO NOT YOU’RE ON YOUR OWN KID😭😭 that songs left me in tears the first time i heard it and a ton of other times. but i completely understand they played Never Grow Up at my little brother’s graduation and I was IN SHAMBLES

OH MY I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW EXCITED (and shocked!) I WAS WHEN A TAYLOR X ZAYN COLLAB DROPPED and let me tell you that song was on REPEAT !!!!!

those 1989 vault tracks had me all🫢 knowing they were abt harry😭 I MEAN “I say I love you, you say nothing back,” OH MY GODDDDD (but I truly believe he could break my heart and id thank him for it even tho there’s no chance I would come back from that)

can’t wait to hear your thoughts mwah mwah <3 !!!

~🎶

IT'S SO GIRLHOOD TO BE FRIENDS WITH EVERYONE BECAUSE WE ALL LOVE HARRY. I'm crying 😭😭

I would murder for Niall I agree completely. Anything he does is PER-FECT.

That's so sweet of how you think about Taylor, that makes so much sense and it's nice you have that relationship with your sister and also sort of Taylor if you know what I mean!

I AGREE WITH YOU. I would let Harry drop kick me out a window and I would definitely thank him. It's my one major red flag/toxic trait whatever you want to call it.

Is your sister older or younger than you? It's nice you have a sister and a brother. That's something i always wanted. 💕

It's lovely chatting with you as always 💕

xoxo

#🎶

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yougotthatbilly · 3 years

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take care (m)

→ member: johnny seo

→ genre: assistant!johnny | smut

→ word count: 15.9k (not surprised atp)

→ playlist: body talk x majid jordan, warm x majid jordan, BoRdErSz x zayn, moment x victoria monét

→ warnings: slowburn, indecisiveness, v self-indulgent; unprofessional relations, big dick!johnny (ofc; don’t expect anything else), soft dom!johnny, begging (johnny’s a tease), subspace, oral; face-fucking, (and if you squint, ass eating), unprotected sex, squirting, praising, overstimulation, etc.

↳ summary: your assistant just wants to take care of you

The heavy rain outside mocks you. You were supposed to be at your favorite bar across the street, but here you are sitting at your desk, staring out your window. And that’s how Johnny finds you after being granted entrance into your office.

Your arm is propped up on the arm of your seat, cheek in hand, lips pouted. Johnny does his best not to smile at the thought of you looking adorable as not to piss you off. He just sets your cup of tea down on the coaster on the corner of your desk.

“How was the meeting?” he asks, taking a seat on the other side of your desk.

You slowly spin to face him, looking at him with annoyed eyes as you take a sip of your tea. It’s the perfect temperature—a temperature Johnny took almost a month to perfect— and sweetness, and it instantly makes you feel a little better.

“Don’t worry,” you sigh. “Jiyoung didn’t get fired.” You have a three-strike policy; this incident is the second strike.

“Jaehyun,” Johnny corrects, grinning.

You tilt your head at his correction. “I care?”

Johnny just shakes his head, knowing you’re being petty because Jaehyun got his dates wrong and uploaded a post on a few new products a week earlier than the scheduled date, resulting in having to speed things up a little. It didn’t cause a major problem because you’re typically prepared for the worst case scenario, but you don’t like feeling rushed and when things don’t go as planned, so you were pissed.

“What’s his punishment?”

“That’s between me and him,” you tell Johnny before taking another sip. Your lip curls in disgust at the suggestive look your assistant gives you. “Okay, let’s not be gross. He’s a child.”

“I didn’t know 23 was considered a child,” Johnny teases, mostly because the man of the hour has had a crush on you for the last year he’s been working for you and he’s been trying to get Johnny to talk him up to you.

“I didn’t know you wanted to get fired in his place,” you say with a tight smile. Johnny decides to switch the subject.

“Mind me asking why you looked so sad when I walked in?”

You sigh once more, slouching in your seat.

“I wanted to go to the bar…” You point to the window beside you. Johnny follows your finger and watches the storm that hasn’t let up since it started half an hour ago. “That’s not happening anytime soon.”

You’ve either been in your office working nonstop or sleeping for the last week or so and you can feel a burnout creeping up. You were going to walk to the bar to get the fresh air you needed, enjoy a drink and your favorite wings because you deserve it—especially after the headache Jaehyun caused the moment you stepped foot into your office this morning—and indulge yourself. Now look at you, hardly munching on the fruit slices Johnny gave you this morning and almost finished with your tea.

“I’m sorry things aren’t going the way you planned today.” Johnny pouts. “On the bright side, you don’t have anything else on your schedule so if you wanted to go home within the next hour, you wouldn’t fall behind.”

“I’ll probably just take a nap on the futon once I’m done looking over the new plan again.” You shrug.

Johnny wants to roll his eyes, but he catches himself. He’s sure you’ve already gone over it at least five times. There’s nothing he can do about it, though, so lifts himself out of his seat. “I’ll leave you to it. Just give me a call if something comes up or you change your mind.”

To both of your surprise, you actually head out and get yourself a candle you’d ran out of a week ago on the way home to treat yourself to a much needed bath filled with bubbles and essential oils. The scent of the candle reminds you of your assistant because it’s the scent he got you for your birthday, and it’s become your favorite.

You send a picture of the candle at the end of your tub to Johnny, thanking him again for putting you onto greatness, as he worded it before when you first smelled it in front of him and your eyes practically rolled back.

[18:14] John Suh: Are you actually relaxing???

You suck your teeth at his response, but you can’t blame him. He’s the only one that knows just how much you put in to get to the position you’re in, while you’re positive a lot of others just think it was handed to you by your mother instead of the school and endless hours work you went through and continue to go through. It’s very rare you give yourself the time to truly sit back and relax aside from when you’re on vacation. And even then, work never really stops. It just gets placed on the back burner for a little.

[18:16] you: Hush.

[18:17] John Suh: I’m just glad you’re taking care of yourself. Your dark circles have been snitching on you.

[18:17] you: Wow. You really wanna get fired today, huh?

[18:18] John Suh: Dark circles or not, you know you’re still beautiful. Now stop texting me and enjoy your bath!

When you find yourself smiling at your phone, you know you should do exactly what he says. Johnny’s always been a complimenter, though his usual kindness goes along the lines of telling you that you look nice. You’re no stranger to this specific compliment, you get it all the time on Instagram from your business partners and supporters. So why does this time settle differently within you?

[18:21] you: Nice save.

You need a video of one of your popular social media influencer ambassadors using and reviewing your newest skincare products tomorrow—due to Jaehyun’s mix-up—but that’s not happening. She didn’t record it before going on vacation and didn’t think to bring the products with her on her trip. While it isn’t her fault times have moved around, you’re annoyed she didn’t bring the products with her when she’s supposed to be using them every day because she’s one of your main advocates for your products being oily skin-friendly. You have the videos of the other models with their specific skin types, and this is your missing piece.

The weather is nice today, so you take a much-needed break from electronics and go to the roof of the building. Your peace is quickly interrupted by the body of a six-foot male in front of you, standing in the way of the sunlight you were basking in.

“I know you hate him right now,” Johnny begins, skipping over greetings to get to the point of his disruption. “But Jaehyun has oily skin, he’s been using the products you gave him for like three weeks, he really likes them, and he has a good following on Instagram.”

You take the phone handed to you begrudgingly and look at Jaehyun’s page. Thirteen thousand followers and quality pictures. You’re not blind, Jaehyun is conventionally attractive and looks like a model in the photos and boomerangs. Something is missing, though. “Eh.”

“‘Eh?’” Johnny parrots, confused. He doesn’t know a better last-minute model for you than Jaehyun.

“Something’s missing,” you explain with a shrug. You absentmindedly tap the profile icon at the bottom of the screen and Johnny’s Instagram profile pops up. The two of you follow each other, so it’s not like you’ve never seen his pictures, but it’s been a while since you actually paid attention to detail. He has eighteen thousand followers and apparently uploads his pictures following a color theme. There are pictures of himself, random people, and nature in a strategic flow. When you select a video to watch, you’re sold on the lighting, exposure, and the way he captured the woman’s features. “Sit.”

Johnny does so without any questions. You gently grab his jaw and study his face closely. His skin is supple and dewy, the sun highlighting his cheekbones and the bridge of his nose. Not that his skin was bad before he started using your products, but the texture and scarring have minimized quite a bit. Johnny doesn’t have the typical, bland model face your competitors love so much, especially with the slight stubble he’s got above his top lip and on his chin.

“What’s your skin type, John?”

“Oily,” he sighs, knowing what’s coming next. He was doing his job as your assistant, trying to make your life easier, but now he wishes he would’ve left this task to the social media department and stayed out of it.

You thought so. “Will you do this for me instead?”

“Do I look like an influencer to you?”

“Yes. I’ll double your next check and everything,” you promise him. “You actually have a personality and everything you post is quality. Women will love the eye candy and all types of men will take you seriously because you don’t have that annoying pristine, perfect look to you like Jaeyoung does.”

Johnny is here to fulfill your needs, so he knows you asking is really just you being polite. He doesn’t have much of a choice, especially with the lack of time you have. He is enjoying the warmth of your hand and the fact you referred to him as ‘eye candy,’ too. And who is he to say no to extra money?

“I’ll have it recorded and edited by midnight,” Johnny smiles, giving you the hope you need.

“Ugh, you’re the best,” you sigh in relief, shaking his face side to side affectionately before letting him go to stand up. You feel much better now. “Send it directly to me.”

Johnny stands up with you and leads the way, opening the door for you. “Yes, ma’am.”

Always true to his word, Johnny emails you two links at a quarter-till, with a message attached:

Good evening,

I edited two videos for you, one short enough for a regular post on the company’s page and the other that could be used for my IGTV for my followers. I hope these meet your expectations, but if there’s anything you need me to fix or redo, let me know and I’ll get right to it.

Sincerely,

John Suh

You get comfortable in your bed with your iPad and tap the first link. You make sure the brightness and volume are high enough to get the full effect, then press play. The quality of the film makes you assume he used a professional camera instead of his phone, and he gets a point for that.

“Hey,” Johnny starts with an awkwardly endearing smile. “I know this is a little different than what I usually post, but I got scouted by the skincare goddess herself to be an ambassador for Surreal’s new line of skincare, Ethereal.”

You grin at the nickname and note that with him being in the bathroom, there’s no echo in his audio, and that gives him another point.

“I’ve been using the four of the five products I’m about to introduce to you everyday for around a month and before I do my skincare routine for you, I’ll show you what my skin looked like before I started using these products with dates so you don’t think I’m just trying to sell you on them just because she’s been writing my checks for the last year,” Johnny chuckles, then the screen shows a selfie Johnny took with the date of a month ago from today, some hyperpigmentation and small bumps dotting his cheek and jaw.

Another point for including before and afters. You knew he’d meet your expectations without you having to say much.

“I’ll get up close and personal at the end so you can really see the results,” Johnny winks into the camera, causing you to blink.

You knew he’d have personality and that was one of the main reasons he was a great idea, and while in hindsight his actions are predictable, you shake your head. The fact that he’s actually charming makes you scoff, but you’re sure that the damn wink only worked on you right now because it’s almost midnight and you should be asleep right now. You won’t act like he hasn’t always been nice on the eyes, but he’s Johnny.

You can’t deny that you do thoroughly enjoy the Johnny presented to you through the screen, though.

“The first product is an oil-based cleanser because the SPF in this collection is oil-based as well,” Johnny explains, then proceeds to show the jar and small spatula that comes with it before he scooped some out, capturing the texture of the product well.

And that’s how the rest of the video plays out, the unusually deep, gentle tone of Johnny’s voice explaining how well each product works for his oily and acne-prone skin, lulling you into a relaxed state against your headboard. He keeps things short and simple, the video just barely passing three minutes and as promised, his face comes a lot closer to the screen, showing the faded scarring and smooth texture of what used to be his problem areas. Johnny ends the video with a sweet smile and says goodbye. The shorter video is edited to where he’s hardly talking, mostly just demoing your products, just the way you like things to be on the company’s page.

You did great, John. Thanks again for doing this last minute. You can come in at 10 am tomorrow since I had you working overtime today. Rest well.

Johnny is at your desk with your morning cup of tea at eight in the morning, a bright smile on his face as he tells you good morning.

You glare at him. “Why are you here?”

“Because it’s my job?” Johnny says, pretending like he doesn’t know what you’re referring to. You can read him well, though. You take the mug out of his hand before gesturing for him to take a seat in front of you.

“You’re either being hard-headed as usual, or you’re anxious about your video being uploaded. Which is it?”

And that wipes the bright smile off of his face.

“I slept three hours last night,” he confesses. “I’m not used to this kind of exposure.”

You take a couple of sips of your tea and quietly observe him, thinking.

“Would you prefer we didn’t post it, then?”

Your assistant looks at you as if you didn’t just speak one of the languages he’s fluent in. You just blink at him and continue drinking your beverage, waiting for him to either say yes or no in case you need to make other plans, again.

“You’d do that for me?” he finally says after a while of staring at you like you’re crazy.

“Why wouldn’t I?” you ask slowly. “You’ve proven how far you’d go for me and I appreciate it, but I care about you as a person and anxiety is a bitch, so I wouldn’t want you to be panicking over Jaejoon’s mistake.”

The corner of Johnny’s lift curls at your continued pettiness, and maybe his heart does a thing at the fact that you care that much about him. It’s obvious to everyone that he is the closest to you out of all of your employees; being your assistant means you let your guard down a little with him. Along with the more serious side of your personality everyone else gets (especially recently), he sees your soft side. You’re not an overly strict boss, but Johnny gets to see you smile more and pout (he’d lose his job if he admitted to you how endearing your pout is to him). But even with the closer relationship the two of you have, Johnny would’ve never expected you to choose his stage fright over your baby; your company.

“I couldn’t ask you to do that,” Johnny declines with a shake of his head. “I’ll be okay, I promise. Thank you for considering my feelings, though.”

You shrug, not about to press him on the issue. “Alright. I need you to post the IGTV at 2 pm and tag our page in an appropriate caption. I’d suggest you turn your notifications off for a while because as soon as you post it, it’s getting posted to our story then I’m sure you’re gonna get flooded with DM’s.”

“Flooded?’” Johnny asks, head tilted. “I mean, all I’ll have to do is copy and paste the same message answering any questions they might have about the products. Easy.”

You’re the one to look at him like he’s stupid this time. You set your mug down, lean back in your swivel chair, and clasp your hands over your stomach. “You can’t be that dense.”

“‘Dense?’” he asks.

“Are you a parrot?” you tsk. “But yes, dense. You know good and well most of the messages will have nothing to do with my products and everything to do with you.”

Johnny has the audacity to still be confused after your explanation.

“John, you realize you’re a good-looking guy with a likable personality, right?”

It’s not that he doesn’t know that. Johnny’s always been a pretty confident guy, with both his looks and personality. His confusion doesn’t stem from being blind or too humble. It’s the fact you of all people are telling him this right now.

“You think so?” he prompts, just to see how many compliments he can get out of you. This is a rare occasion.

“When you’re not being annoyingly happy-go-lucky and chill out, yes.” You reply. And now he’s pouting. That’s what he gets.

“I thought my cheerfulness brought joy to your days,” Johnny says with a dramatic hand on his heart, offended.

“What brings me joy is everything running smoothly and everyone doing their job,” you correct. He isn’t wrong, but you decide not to stroke his ego any more than you already have. And you’ve already said too much. “With that being said, you do everything I ask of you, and that brings me so much joy. You’re the perfect assistant, so don’t cry.”

“Is this your way of telling me to calm down?”

Your iPad buzzes against the wood of your desk and when you peek at it, you see it’s an email from Jaehyun with the subject: Today’s upload schedule.

“This is my way of telling you to get to work, honey.”

Johnny often finds himself slowly backing out of your office with his hands up in surrender, and he wouldn’t have it any other way. He loves the distinct differences between the two of you. He figures it’s why you work so well together and why he’s held this job position for over a year in comparison to the two assistants before him that both got fired before the six-month mark. Johnny’s also positive that you love his excessively positive nature (as Jaehyun has described Johnny’s personality before) somewhere deep down and that he brightens your day after dealing with idiots like Jaehyun.

When your assistant is out of sight, you grab your iPad, respond to Jaehyun’s email, and find yourself rewatching today’s scheduled video. Maybe more than once.

The video is up at 2 pm sharp and Johnny does as advised, turning his Instagram notifications off immediately. He even goes as far as taking his phone off of vibrate so he isn’t aware of any other notifications until he decides to look at his phone again. He’s got things to organize anyway, so the work he has to do takes his mind off of any anxiety within him.

That is until you appear at the doorway of his office an hour later. This is a rare occurrence, so Johnny can’t be blamed for staring at you, and in the process, he appreciates the very fitted pantsuit you’re wearing. You took off the blazer sometime in between when Johnny left your office hours ago and now, and he thinks that the blush pink blouse compliments your complexion and red lips very well. But of course it does. Everything you wear compliments everything about you perfectly.

Just one of the many observations Johnny has made in the past year.

“How do you feel?” you ask him. Your voice is always so calm and collected, even when you’re ripping someone to shreds because of idiocy. Johnny admittedly admires that about you.

“I’ve done everything under the sun to avoid my phone,” Johnny confesses with a weak laugh.

You nod. “Well, just know that I’ve had multiple companies and modeling agencies ask why I’ve been hiding you. So don’t be surprised if you have job opportunities waiting for you.”

“Wow… this means I can finally quit,” Johnny hardly whispers with a victorious fist pump.

“I wish the hell you would,” you deadpan, breaking Johnny’s act and causing him to laugh loudly at the lack of expression paired with your response. “You’re mine unless there’s a tragic accident, God forbid, or you’re moving up in the ranks.”

“Promise?”

“Promise,” you confirm, sending him a wink before turning on your heel and strutting back to your own office. Johnny licks his lips at the sight of the natural sway of your hips before shaking his head and getting back to working on the excel sheet staring at him.

“How is it that you all have the skills and training for the very simple tasks I ask you to complete, yet lack common sense and proper work ethic?”

Everyone in the room, excluding Johnny, just looks up at you from their seats, pitiful expressions on their faces. Their eyes follow you as you slowly walk to the other side of the room. You’re trying to stay calm and be professional, so pacing around the room is your best bet.

To Johnny, you look like you’re on a runway in slow motion, modeling the slim-fitting pencil skirt and red bottoms you’re adorning. Though still attentive to every word coming out of your mouth, Johnny lets himself get lost in each step you take because he’s not the one getting chewed out.

Mark, one of the newest additions to the marketing department, leans into Johnny’s side to whisper into his ear. “How have you managed to not fuck up and be on the receiving end of her talks yet?”

You don’t hear anything, but you see whispering happening, and now is not the time for side conversations. Johnny doesn’t even have the chance to turn to Mark or tell him to shut up until the end of the meeting before you’re speaking again.

“Mark Lee,” you call as you make your way towards him, causing him to sit up straight. “Is there something you’d like to say?”

“No, ma’am,” he responds nervously. Johnny internally shakes his head at Mark not being able to think quickly and lie. “My apologies.”

“Is there anything anyone wants to say or am I just a narcissist who loves talking to hear my lovely voice? Should I sing?” you ask, standing next to Johnny at the end of the conference table, hand on your hip. “Y’all want a performance?”

Johnny bites the inside of his cheek to refrain from laughing. Your sarcasm only intensifies the unsettled looks on everyone’s face and they all side-eye Jungwoo, their savior from the last time they got chewed out as a whole. Jungwoo raises his hand before saying, “There’s nothing we can say to excuse our actions—or lack thereof, but we will get right on it and do our jobs correctly this time. You won’t have to repeat yourself again.”

Johnny is impressed at how quickly your features soften. The ready-to-fire-someone look melts away as you nod at Jungwoo’s promise. You do have a bit of a soft spot for the latter, though, so it makes sense.

“I’ll take your word for it. You’re dismissed,” you announce, waving everyone off.

The room is empty, save for you and your assistant, in mere seconds.

“You’re going to give them nightmares,” Johnny chuckles, gathering your belongings before opening the door for you to exit the conference room. He laughs once more at your responding yawn.

“How? That was me on my best behavior,” you retort, your heels clicking loudly as you walk to the elevator. “And what was Lee whispering about?”

“Your employees are just amazed that I’ve kept you satisfied for so long.”

You walk into the elevator once the doors slide open and lean against the mirrored wall, arms crossed. Your eyes are squinted as you give Johnny a once over. He has done everything right since he completed his training. “You think you can keep me satisfied?”

There’s a challenging tone in your voice that causes Johnny to lick his lips. “I’d never disappoint you.”

Your response is a nod of your head paired with a drawn-out hum, and then you walk out of the elevator to your office once you hit your floor, walking ahead of Johnny without another word. You laugh at yourself when you replay the short conversation in your mind at the feeling you got in your gut at his response. And then you’re scoffing because, once again, it’s Johnny.

Johnny… Over six feet, amicable, charming, handsome as all hell Johnny. The scene of him licking his lips and saying those four words in that promising, deep voice in the elevator flashes through your mind once you’re seated at your desk. Your fingernail taps against the wood as you roll your lips together, stuck in your head. The ironic conclusion you come to before getting back to work is that you’re working way too much and just lacking male attention because there’s no other plausible reason for your goofy-ass assistant to have been on your mind so much for the last couple of days.

“Really?” Johnny asks when he walks in and sees you slumped over your desk.

Your eyes flutter open at his voice.

“I was just resting my eyes” you yawn, waving him off.

“What work is there possibly left for you to do at this point?” The products go on the market tomorrow, meaning all the work that had to be done in preparation for the launch was completed before everyone left today (the marketing department got their shit together quickly because they know about your policy and how unforgiving you are when the deadline is right around the corner). The only thing left for your marketing team to do tomorrow is look over everything once more and then you’re free to sit back and wait for customers to buy the new products and idly watch over social media if you really wanted to. It frustrates Johnny that you always find something extra to do.

“I was doing some last minute, um”— another yawn —“touches on the-”

“Well, that’s enough,” Johnny interrupts your explanation, walking around to your side of the desk and plucking the pen out of your hand.

You just nod and lean back in your ridiculously big swivel chair, blinking up at him slowly, because he’s right. There’s literally nothing else for you to do and you have the most full coverage concealer under your eyes; you need to rest.

“Am I driving you home tonight?” He asks as he packs your belongings into the massive purse on the box by your feet then places it on your desk so he doesn’t have to bend back down to retrieve it.

“Yeah, I don’t feel like moving,” you mumble, thankful you spent so much money on the chair you’re oh-so comfortable in.

Johnny puts his hands out for you to grab, and once you do so, he pulls you up. You groan and lean forward into him to catch your balance after not being on your feet for many hours, but then Johnny’s hand on firm on the middle of your lower back, and the pressure makes you stay. He’s just helping you steady yourself, a position you’ve been in once or twice before because you like to push your limits (says both your therapist and your assistant), but he smells good and he’s warm; his presence is comforting. It always has been, which is why he’s made the perfect assistant for you.

“Are you okay?” he asks, looking down at the top of your head that simply nods in response.

“Think I pushed my limit,” you admit, much to your assistant’s surprise. It’s not that you’re prideful, but you don’t exactly like showing weakness, especially in front of your employees.

Though tempted to just let you rest your head on his chest because he doesn’t mind the proximity at all and knows you’re somehow comfortable, Johnny makes sure you’re standing steadily by yourself so he can drape your coat over your shoulders. He grabs your purse and wraps an arm around your waist then guides you out of your office, all the way to the parking garage, saying goodbye to the confused cleaning staff on his way out.

He presses the button on the handle of the passenger side’s door to unlock it, opens the door, then fits you inside of his car. Johnny leans over your body to buckle your seat belt, and when he’s back away, he catches you looking at him with a look he can’t quite decipher.

“What’s up?”

You shake your head and blink slowly. “I just really appreciate you, John.”

Johnny just nods to save face and closes the door before making his way to the driver’s seat. He’s not quite sure how to feel or respond to the soft-spoken, sleepy side of you since it’s been months since the one other time you’ve been in a similar situation, and he wasn’t as smitten as he is now.

You’re fighting your sleep because even though you trust Johnny, you want to be as aware during this trip to your house. It’s a hard feat, though. His car is big and comfortable and the hum of the engine is trying to lull you into a deep sleep.

Johnny looks over at you after getting on the main road and notices your internal fight.

“You can fall asleep, you know.”

“You might take my organs.”

“I would’ve done that a long time ago if I wanted to,” Johnny humors you. His response brings a small smile to your face, and that keeps a smile on his own.

“You have a really pretty smile, John.”

“Thank you,” Johnny says, figuring it’s just your exhaustion talking.

“I’m almost jealous of how pretty your lips are,” you sigh, mouth not filtering your thoughts at this point of exhaustion (you’ve gotten 10 hours of sleep in the last week, but no one, especially not Johnny, needs to know that). You don’t care enough to try to “correct” yourself because the pretty curl of his lips gets even deeper.

“Really?” Johnny asks, trying his luck again because he’s sure tonight isn’t like the other day in your office. “You think my lips are pretty?”

You hum and cuddle into his seat even more. After staring at his profile a while longer, you tell him, “I think you’re pretty.”

That makes him laugh again, taken aback at the string of compliments coming out of your mouth towards him of all people. It’s not that you’re mean or don’t applaud him for his great work, but this is a very different side of you that he’s seeing. He likes it.

“That’s a first, but I’ll take it,” he says, taking a moment to look at you again before focusing on the road again. “Thank you.”

“Are you used to hearing ‘handsome?’ ‘Fine?’ ‘Sexy?’” You notice how Johnny’s brows lift. “Too far?”

He shakes his head. “No, you’re good. I like you when you’re nice.”

“You like me regardless,” you say with a sassy scoff, pretending to flip your hair even though it’s slicked back in a low bun, the same as every workday.

Johnny nods slowly, contemplating if he should humor you or just laugh you off. It literally takes him 0.5 seconds to go with the former option because he’s been waiting for the day the two of you step out of professional talk and get into something more personal, specifically between the two of you. “You got me there. I mean, what isn’t there to like?”

Your eyes squint as you analyze him and process his words. There’s a subtle but still very noticeable shift in the air after his question, and while you’re sure it’s your fault for letting your exhaustion let you feel comfortable enough to open your mouth and start spewing out nice things to your assistant, his response is enough to keep it up. It also doesn't help that this is a far more intimate setting than work.

“Be careful, you keep saying things like that and I’ll think you have a crush on me,” you tease him, chuckling at the snort he responds with.

Before Johnny snitches on himself, he flips the script. “Says the one staring at my lips long enough to deem them ‘pretty’ and calling me pretty, of all things.”

“Well,” you start as your gaze goes right back to his mouth at the mention of it. “It would be unprofessional of me to tell you that I think you’re fine as hell, so,” you shrug.

You and Johnny have always had a bit of banter between the two of you, and while this topic isn’t something that’s been covered before, it’s hard to really care when you feel comfortable enough to cross that line right now. If he hadn’t been playing along, you wouldn’t have said anything more than the simple compliment from earlier, but with the reciprocity, the logical voice within gets pushed away. Exhaustion isn’t much of an excuse at this point because that high from tiredness has passed.

The timing of the traffic light turning red is a little too perfect. Johnny takes the opportunity to look at you again, and something lights up in his chest when he catches how your eyes travel up from his mouth to look into his own eyes at his attention.

“It would be unprofessional,” he agrees with another nod of his head. “But I can’t say the feeling isn’t mutual.”

You hum and nod. “Good to know.”

“You must not be sleeping well for you to be throwing out compliments like that.” Johnny leans onto the middle counsel.

“I’m not saying anything I haven’t thought of for a while.” You tell him after a beat, choosing to reply honestly since you’re already here. Johnny quirks a brow to prompt you to elaborate, and you do so, mirroring his position and propping your chin in your hand. His face is a lot closer now, but you keep your eyes on his own orbs to avoid losing focus. “I hired you because of your experience and skill set, but I knew it wouldn’t hurt to have some eye-candy around me. Pretty privilege and all,” you wave a nonchalant hand. “You were perfect until you opened your mouth.”

“You can never be nice to me for long, can you?” he snorts.

“You’re perfect tonight, though,” you add on, specifically for the quirk of Johnny’s mouth that comes from the praise. Yeah, you failed the challenge.

“How so?” Johnny questions, quickly checking to see if the light has changed yet. It hasn’t, and for once in his life he’s grateful for a long light. He feels good about where this conversation could possibly get him after a year of silently admiring you, so good that he not-so-subtly gets even closer, definitely in your bubble, but nothing too crazy.

“You’re calm and collected and taking care of me,” you admit. The silent deep breath you take to calm yourself grants you access to the scent of Johnny’s cologne again, and your mind is so close to deciding that logic is unnecessary. A tiny voice in the back of your mind has been trying to get your attention and steer you in the opposite direction of the one you’ve decided to take, with how you tilt your head up to get just a little closer to him.

“You like being taken care of?”

“I love it,” you confess, and Johnny takes the chance to tuck a stray hair behind your ear as he hums, content with your response. Definitely an excuse to test the waters and see how far he can go and how willing you are to really cross this line. You turn your face into his hand so he cups your jaw, but then there’s a horn sounding behind you because the light is green, and Johnny begrudgingly has to pay attention to the road. You blink, the trance you found yourself in with him so close but so far away dissipating, the situation becoming a lot more real now that he’s out of your space. You slump back into your seat and look out of the window, that voice becoming louder and grounding you as you take another deep breath. “But allowing myself to be vulnerable with someone like that? Yikes.”

He knows your defense mechanism is trying to kick in, but he’s not having it.

“Aside from me?”

You hum. “Not quite…”

You set yourself up. From that moment in the elevator to now, you’ve been digging your own grave, and Johnny has done nothing but assist you, encourage you to dig deeper. You’re not sleepy anymore, there’s no more foggy brain from earlier when he found you asleep in the office. Just desire you’ve done a grand job of ignoring up until the last few days. But unfortunately, you have to remind yourself you’ve been ignoring it for a reason.

Your assistant almost doesn’t say anything because he loves his job and you clearly switched the direction of the conversation for a reason, but so much (yet so little) has already been said during your time in the car and you’ve already said enough to get the gears in his head turning.

“So you mean a different type of care?”Johnny asks. He pulls into your driveway and parks. He wants to get back to the space the two of you were at when stopped at that light, but you’re already unbuckling your seat belt and grabbing your purse, signifying that the moment is long gone. That doesn’t stop him from trying, though. “Do you need me to walk you in?”

“I think I’ve got it now, thanks.” You need to get inside and get some sleep. Are you running right now? Of course. You’re a responsible person and the most responsible thing for you to do as the woman that signs his paychecks, is to get the fuck away from him before he persuades you, because you both know it’s possible.

“Let me rephrase that:” he licks his pretty lips and your fist balls up around your purse’s straps. “Do you want me to walk you in? I know you didn’t need me to do most of what I’ve done tonight, but you let me because you wanted me to.” His ability to read you so well is both a blessing and a curse. “Now would you like for me to continue taking care of you tonight or not?”

You do. You absolutely do. You’re tempted to say yes in the case you don’t end up alone tonight, but you know it’s not a good idea. And you’re sure the atmosphere of this car ride will disappear by the time you wake up. At least that’s what you tell yourself because you know, ethics.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” you tell Johnny, opening the door and stepping out. “Thanks for the ride. Drive safe.”

Johnny watches you walk up to your door, unlock it, then disappear into your house. He lets out a deep sigh before backing out of your driveway and driving home.

Tea, fruit slices, and avocado toast are set down in front of you the moment you walk behind your desk.

“Good morning,” Johnny greets you calmly. “Your eleven o’clock meeting has been pushed back thirty minutes, so I’d suggest using the opportunity to get out of the building and get some fresh air. You know, get away from electronics and people to recharge.”

That’s exactly what you’ll do. You’re going to be monitoring the Instagram engagement and website sales for a while, even though you pay people to be on top of numbers, so a break will definitely be needed.

“I love your brain, you know that?” you ask, looking up at him once your jacket and bag are off of your body, meeting his eye. The corner of Johnny’s mouth twitches.

“I told you I’d never disappoint you.”

“And I’m holding you to that.” You ignore the fact that there’s definitely another meaning behind his words. You can’t say the tension that last night’s conversation produced has gone away completely, but it’s weak enough for you to ignore it and stick to the amicable atmosphere the two of you have built for the last year plus.

“Would it be alright if I accompanied you during your walk?” Johnny prompts after a moment of him just standing there, pursing his lips together to refrain himself from grinning at you. “There’s something I’d like to run by you because I trust your opinion as my boss and my friend.”

“We’re friends?” you joke, settling into your seat.

“Last time I checked,” he responds, unfazed. “We could be even closer if you let yourself be vulnerable with me.”

And there it is.

“John,” you say after a brief pause. He’s got his hands in his pockets, face mostly void of emotion. Johnny doesn’t want things to go back to normal, and he’s decided to let you know in the most subtle, yet obvious way. Why ignore the feeling when it’s clearly mutual?

“Yes, boss?”

“You can leave now.”

The grin on the male’s face falters. He examines you to see just how serious you are, and he knows this isn’t one of your playful banter moments. He tries to call your name, either to ease the situation and tell you it was just a bad joke or to apologize, but you just remove your attention from him and get on your iPad.

And when he’s out of the room, the door closed behind him, you let out a frustrated sigh. Up until you fell asleep, if you weren’t thinking about your launch, you were thinking about him. If you weren’t thinking about the numbers from your last launch and the possibility of exceeding them, you were thinking of the way you felt and the words he said while you were in that intimate bubble before the horn honked at him. You had to take a couple melatonin gummies to shut your mind up and knock out. The sleep was amazing, the best you’d had in a while, but then when you were conscious again, Johnny was back.

You could have done without stepping into uncharted territory last night. To him, it may not seem as deep as you’re making it out to be, but there’s too much on the line for you. Your professionalism. Your pride. Your job, quite possibly. His job. You could pay him off if you decided to fire him, but you don’t want to deal with bribes making you feel like a shitty person. You don’t want a new assistant. You want Johnny.

At that very last thought, you pick up the phone and call Jaehyun to have him run the plan by you one more time. He thinks it’s because of his fuck up from before, and you just let him think that.

Thankfully, Johnny is out of your way until later in the night. He didn’t try to accompany you on your walk, but he has no choice but to be here at the company outing taking place to celebrate your products selling out within 4 hours.

All shots are on you, so your employees are taking advantage of this, recording as everyone clinks their shot glasses together and downs the painful alcohol down. You’re two shots in and you mentally note that three is your limit for tonight. Maybe four. You’re already a bit of a lightweight, and there’s no way in hell you’re going to make a fool of yourself in front of your employees. Regardless, you’re having a pretty good time. As a gift, your best friend rented out the bar, so it’s empty save for your large group, and Joohyun’s presence is a godsend. She’s being friendly enough to your employees and for the most part she hasn’t left your side, being the comfort she doesn’t realize you need.

“Congrats again, babe,” she says excitedly to you, pushing another shot in front of you as she scoots into the seat next to you. “Can we take that vacation in Bora Bora now that you’re free and even richer?” Her teasing smile makes you crack one of your own and sigh.

“You know that trip is for August. Be patient, Bae.”

She rolls her eyes but her expression doesn’t falter. Her gaze wanders a bit as she sips from her mixed drink and then she’s looking at you expectantly. You raise a brow to prompt her.

“How is it that all of your employees are hot as fuck?” she asks bluntly. “Even the women.”

You take a glance around like you don’t remember what everyone looks like. “I mean, I guess.”

“Especially a certain assistant.”

“Go for it,” you tell her, nodding in his direction. The said male is at the bar ordering something with his arm draped over Jaehyun’s shoulders, the two of them laughing about whatever the latter just said.

“You know that’s not why I said that,” Joohyun scoffs, swatting at your arm. You may have mentioned to her a while ago that your assistant is very nice on the eyes and you sometimes enjoy watching him as he does his job. “Plus, Jaehyun’s more my type.”

You shrug. “I’m sure they’d be down for a threesome.”

Your best friend hits you once again. “What’s with your mood? You’re not acting like someone who just sold out in only a few hours.”

Before she decided to bring a certain assistant up, you were doing pretty well. You’d been able to not look at him for too long or even have to speak to him much aside from a greeting and his congratulations before he was by Jaehyun’s side and Joohyun was by yours. But now, with him being mentioned, your eyes are having a hard time pulling away from his figure. His tie is loosened and the top few buttons of his shirt are undone. His sleeves are rolled up right under his elbows and show off the tattoo on his arm.

You rip your eyes off of him and down your shot. Yeah, you’re thinking four.

Joohyun’s incredulous laugh brings your attention back to her. “You didn’t.”

“What?”

She leans into your side to whisper, “You’re in a mood because of Johnny?”

You side-eye her because you don’t like how quickly she read you, and her smile grows wide.

“Oh, my—you slept with Johnny?!” she continues to whisper-yell.

“No,” you hiss. “I did not. But I could have and that’s the issue.”

“Not seeing the issue?” She’s always been the little devil on your left shoulder. “The only reason I brought him up is because I’ve noticed how often you have his attention when you’re not even in the same area. And I know the difference between a look of concern and a look of want. He’s got a good ratio of both going on.”

“Okay, Miss Couple’s Therapist,” you mutter. “You ever heard of conflict of interest?”

And that shuts her up. Only for a few seconds, though.

“All I’m saying is I know you’ve thought about it… and you’re probably thinking about it now,” she giggles, making it hard for you to keep glaring at her. “I’m just trying to help you understand that it wouldn’t be a bad thing if there is a mutual understanding between the two of you on what flies and what cannot and shall not happen regarding the matter. You’re both consenting adults and it’s obvious he’d be on his knees for you with the snap of a finger.”

You decide against telling her about last night’s situation nor do you let her know you’re considering her words. That you’ve been considering the whole thing for days.

You change the subject instead, asking her about how her latest trip overseas went.

It lasts for only so long when Johnny and Jaehyun make their way over to your table.

They greet the two of you and you give a nod, choosing now to be the perfect time to check your notifications, while Joohyun says, “Hey guys.”

“Why are you checking your phone when you should be enjoying your time?” Johnny asks right by your ear, his voice lacking excitement but instead low enough to almost make your thumb falter as you scroll. “Get off your phone and celebrate, please?”

You make the mistake of looking up. He’s too close to your face to use the music playing through the speakers in the bar as an excuse. His eyes don’t have their usual playful glint in them. They look down at you with a purpose, and you’re kind of embarrassed at how fast you comply with his request. You drop the device into your purse and zip it up for extra measures.

“Thank you,” he smiles. “I got this for you two, by the way.”

Johnny slides a plate of your favorite wings on the table.

“Aw thank you, Johnny,” Joohyun coos, shooting you an annoyingly smug glance. “Are you gonna sit with us?”

“Is that okay with you, boss?” Jaehyun asks after sharing a look with his friend.

“Have at it,” you smile tightly, gesturing to the seats across from you. While they make themselves comfortable, you steal your best friend’s shot and actively ignore the way she looks at you from the corner of her eye.

Joohyun and Jaehyun fall into conversation easily after she compliments the watch he’s wearing. You nibble on some celery, actively ignoring how Johnny’s still too close. He subtly squeezes your knee to get your attention, and when he’s got it, he tilts his head in the direction of the bar.

“I drank enough,” you tell him with a shake of your head.

“It’s not about a drink. I would like to speak to you alone, please,” Johnny explains in a whisper. A tiny voice in your mind says hell no because of what Joohyun has put in your head, but the rational voice reminds you that he is your assistant and you can’t avoid him forever.

You tell your best friend that you’re gonna get a drink and that you’ll be back, and when she notices Johnny getting up with you she nods with a whisper of a smirk on her lips all without breaking the conversation she’s having.

“What’s up?” you ask once seated on a barstool, at least a few seats away from everyone else.

“I’m sorry about earlier. I was trying to make light of the situation and I took it too far. As for last night, it was wrong of me to make a proposition like, so I want to apologize for that, as well.”

You nod as he speaks, letting his words process in your brain.

“I spoke out of line last night and gave you an opening, so that part was on me. I apologize and I hope we can move forward from it. Thank you for your apology.” You try to get up and make your way back to your table quickly, but Johnny gently grabs your hand until he knows you’ll stay in your seat.

For a moment he wanted to just apologize so you can stop being distant with him and he can stop purposely avoiding you for your space, but your response rubs him the wrong way and now he doesn’t really want to drop it. He wants to talk about it because the topic clearly came up for a reason last night and he’s tired of denying how he feels towards you, especially now that he knows he’s not alone after a while of thinking there was no way in hell his little crush would even get him this far.

“Can you not shut me out right now?”

You really don’t like his ability to see through you.

“I accepted your apology and gave you the one you deserved... how am I shutting you out?” you bullshit him anyway.

“I’m not gonna pretend that what happened last night didn’t happen. I can’t,” Johnny tells you honestly. “Can I speak to you as a friend instead of your employee for a moment?”

“I guess,” you shrug.

“As your friend, what I say cannot be held against me as your assistant.”

“Whatever, John. Go ahead.”

“I want you,” he confesses, and there’s really no going back from here. “I am very attracted to you and when you spoke about wanting to be vulnerable and taken care of last night it only made me want you more. And if there’s anyone you can let your guard down with and that will take great care of you, it’s me, and you know this.”

All you can do is stare at him for a while. If you hadn’t had that conversation with Joohyun a while ago you would not still be in this seat, letting him know you’re truly considering his proposition. The dip in your gut at his confession confirms your feelings, but your brain and your body conflict.

Can you separate business from pleasure in this instance?

If you allow your desires to become reality and it’s nothing like what you imagined, you’d never be able to look at him the same, no matter how good he is at his job. You’d either have to fire him or become so distant he’d want to quit. Would a bribe really have to be offered for the well-being of your precious company? The thought alone rubs you the wrong way.

But if you’re being honest with yourself, you just know it wouldn’t be a bad experience because it’s Johnny. He’s calculated and good at anything that gets thrown at him. You truly believe him when he says he’d never disappoint you. But how will you go about seeing him five days a week without seeing him in a different light? You’re professional but there would definitely be a change in your dynamic.

“I adore you as my assistant, John,” you finally speak up after too long. “And I do consider you a friend. I just don’t want to compromise our relationship over lust.”

“It’s not just lust, though,” Johnny states. “I’m not in love with you or anything but I care about you and want to take care of you the way we both know you need and deserve.”

He’s saying all of the right things and it’s almost as if the universe is rubbing him in your face. Your control is slipping and you don’t like it. You would love to be taken care of. You crave it. Running a business right before the age of thirty comes with so much stress and bullshit and you haven’t been taken care of in years, at least not properly. You’re content with being single because you give yourself everything you need and you love having your own space, but it does get lonely sometimes. And you can’t do everything yourself, at least not to the extent you need. Your eyes scan down from his face to his hands and your resolve gets a little weaker.

“I’m not going to push you, okay? I just had to let you know that I’m here to help you in many more ways than in the office and that if anything were to ever happen, my lips are sealed. I’d even sign a damn contract if that meant I could have you for just one whole day.”

“A whole day?” you ask before you can stop your curiosity from being known.

“I can’t elaborate on that. I can talk to you as a friend all I want but I know that too much detail can fuck up my job if you’re not down and I’m perfectly content with my job right now.”

He’s so vague, yet he’s said just the right amount. It’s easy to imagine what exactly could be in store if you release your inhibitions and just agree, but it’s not that easy. And Johnny understands that.

“Just think about it, alright?” He requests, and you nod slowly. “What drink would you like?”

“I’ve already had four shots—”

“No one said it had to be alcoholic,” Johnny laughs.

“Hello?” Johnny’s morning voice grumbles.

“Okay.”

It’s quiet on the other end of the line for a while as Johnny wakes up and decodes your single word. When he understands, his smile can be heard through his next words.

“Would you prefer I go to you or you come here?”

“I’ll go to you.”

“How does noon sound?”

“Good,” you nod, even though he can’t see the movement.

“Alright. There’s a couple of questions I have before you come over, though,” he tells you, his voice suddenly a lot more serious than it was before.

“Okay, go ahead,” you sigh, curling into a ball on your sofa.

“Do you trust me?”

“I do.” Of course you trust him. Johnny smiles at how quick your answer. “You know that.”

“Trusting me with your work and trusting me with your mind and body are completely different things,” he tells you matter-of-factly. “But yes, I did know. I just needed to ask.”

“I clearly trust you enough to be hours away from going to your place without thinking you’re gonna exploit or blackmail me.”

“And I appreciate it. As I said, I’ll sign a contract if you’re still in your head about it.” At the dismissive response you give him, he continues with his questions. “We’re not gonna be weird about this before, during, and especially after everything, right?”

“No, I won’t be weird,” you chuckle, knowing his ‘we’ translates to ‘you.’ “It would’ve took me way longer to give you an answer if I was still gonna be weird or standoffish.”

“What made you change your mind so quickly?”

You blink at the tree on the other side of your window blankly. It took less than a day to give him a response, and while he may have popped up in your dream last night, Joohyun was right. You want him and he’s not shy about letting you know how much he wants you in return, so why play this game of tiptoeing and faux unclarity?

“You’re asking too many questions now,” you deadpan. “I’ll see you later.”

The last thing you hear before you hang up is Johnny laughing quietly to himself, sounding endeared.

You’ve always been punctual, so when you knock on his door, it’s twelve on the dot. And Johnny was expecting this, with it only taking him a couple of seconds to unlock and open the door for you.

“Hey,” he greets you with a smile and you immediately take in his appearance, having never been around Johnny in anything but formal wear. You take in how he looks in the comfort of his own home, his brown hair is parted down the middle in comparison to how he always has it pushed back, and his fitted white tee shirt and joggers are a stark difference from the button-downs and slacks he usually adorns around you. He looks good either way, you note.

“Hey.”

You walk past him into his home and take your shoes off, and while pleasantries are exchanged, it’s Johnny’s turn to give you elevator eyes. The grey color of your athletic wear draws attention to the curve of your ass and hips. Your hair isn’t in its signature style, but out and flowing about freely. When you turn back around to face him he notices you don’t have your typical red lipstick on, just a clear sheen covering your lips. He didn’t think you could look any better, but here he is, being proven wrong.

You’re guided down a hallway and into his room, and the first thing you notice is a cute stuffed animal on his dresser. One you remember buying him for his birthday because that was his only request, seeing that it was limited edition.

“I still can’t believe you wanted this of all things,” you laugh fondly, picking it up and examining it.

“You gave me a budget and this fit in it,” Johnny shrugs, coming up behind you. His chest molds into your back naturally, causing you to look up from the plushie and up at him through the mirror in front of you. “There was no way in hell I was coming out of pocket for that myself when you were willing to spend big bucks on me.”

You relax into his chest, the vibration against your back a very pleasant feeling. “Touché.”

The last few days of building sexual frustration did nothing to prepare you for the suffocating blanket of tension that envelopes you once Johnny lifts your head up to the side and presses one of the gentlest kisses to your lips. Followed by another chaste one, and another until you find yourself chasing his lips.

“Feel free to bite into it when it becomes too much for you,” Johnny graciously offers in a whisper that tickles your lips.

You scoff, amused by his confidence.

“I’m a grown ass woman,” you remind him. “I promise you there’s nothing I couldn’t handle.”

“And I’m gonna hold you to that.” He nods, using your own words against you. You’re turned around by his hands on your hips until you’re facing him. A moment of silent eye contact translate to him challenging you before his pretty, soft lips slowly slide in time with yours.

The longer he kisses you, the more your body melts into his. You find yourself being pulled forward, him walking backwards. The kiss interrupted when he sits down at the foot of his bed, but then you’re pulled onto his lap, straddling him to resume it. A hand on the side of his face prompts him to deepen the kiss, and your mouth instantly opens when you feel his tongue brush against your bottom lip, the wet muscle minty when it touches your own and you curl yours around it to get an even better taste.

Your hands find his hair as his own grip your ass, pulling a muffled whimper out of you. And then you’re flipped onto your back, legs falling apart to give Johnny freedom to stand. He swiftly takes his shirt off and then he’s interrupted by your palms glide up his abdomen. You’ve never felt small around practically anyone in your adult years, but with how he hovers over you, you feel tiny. You know he and Jaehyun have been going to the gym frequently, but at this angle, you can really appreciate just how big and broad he is.

Originally, you figured you’d give him the reign to do whatever he wanted and you’d bask in being a pillow princess for once in your life, but in the position you’ve found yourself in, with his print in your face, you drag your hands back south and tug his waistband down.

Johnny just watches you silently until he understands you’re doing more than just assisting him with stripping. Your hand grabs hold of his semi (your mouth waters at how hung he is and you briefly wonder how you never noticed before), his sweatpants forgotten halfway down his thighs. The way your eyes have tunnel vision and you lick your lips tells him your plan. “You wanna suck my dick?” he asks anyway, making sure he accessed this correctly.

Your eyes fly up to meet his gaze. “Yeah. You want me to?”

“You think I’d ever say no to you?”

His response goes straight in between your legs, so you focus your attention back on his dick, which has grown some during the time of your small interaction, and you might be a little more excited about this than you initially thought you’d be.

You let spit fall from your mouth onto his tip, then spread it down with your hand. You flick your wrist up and down a few times and lean forward, licking a broad stripe up his shaft. At the deep exhale he releases, you glance up at him through your lashes, and the sight of him with his jaw tightened in anticipation makes you want to give him so much more, so you suck the tip into your mouth.

Fingers move your hair behind your ear for you and if you still had any inhibitions at this point, they’re lost now. Your head bobs back and forth slowly as you continue to look him in his eyes; it’s hard to look anywhere else when you’ve never been looked at so intensely in this position. You gather spit on the tip of your tongue and spread it across his head, circling the wet muscle around it until he hums and you need to feel the weight of him back inside.

“Tap my leg, okay?”

You furrow your brows at his words, but your silent question is answered when there’s a hand on the back of your head and the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat lightly as if in warning before his hips pull back then he’s back in your throat. Your hands come up to his thighs as he sets a slow pace to fuck your face, and when his head falls back the moment he realizes he can go as far as he wants, you close your eyes and prepare for the onslaught you know you’re about to take.

Johnny’s hips instantly pick up speed and roughness, and while he’s still in control of himself, he loses a bit of sanity. After a year of silent pining and thinking this would never happen, he’s fucking his boss's face, and of course, of fucking course you don’t have a gag reflex.

You stick your tongue out flat to lick at the bottom of his shaft as he does the rest of the work and the feeling of spit bubbling out the sides of your mouth and making its way down your chin digs your fingers into his skin since you can’t clench your thighs together. Your hair is gathered for extra leverage, and the pull of your scalp is such a delicious feeling you moan helplessly just when your nose comes in contact with trimmed hairs.

“Shit,” he hisses, picking his head back up to watch as he slows back down but thrusts in rougher. You clearly enjoy being used like this, spit traveling down your chin to the point of landing on your jacket and darkening the material. You’re a mess in the best possible way, and this is an image that will haunt his memory for a very long time.

More of his resolve crumbles at the feeling of your hands curling around to his butt to press him even closer into you, even further down your throat. You haven’t even been touched, barely kissed, but you’re lightheaded and extremely aroused. While he contemplates if he should cum down your throat or wait until he’s buried in your pussy, you’re silently hoping he lets you taste him soon.

Johnny drags his dick out of your mouth at an extremely slow pace, and how you wrap your lips around him and open your hooded, darkened eyes to look at him again shoots a shiver of pleasure up his spine.

“Never would’ve thought,” he says around an amused exhale.

“Hm?” you prompt, releasing him with a loud pop.

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. He grips his dick with his free hand and taps the tip on your awaiting tongue, amused and extremely turned on. Smearing fluids over your tongue and lips, he softly demands: “Play with your pussy for me.”

The smile you give him is a concoction of wicked and endearing. He releases your hair as you manage to wiggle out of your leggings. You soaked through your lace and leggings, you both notice, and Johnny stops you with a disapproving hum when you make a move to remove your panties as well. You squint, he laughs and shakes his head.

“Over your panties.” You roll your eyes but listen nonetheless, slipping your hand in between your thighs. The material is extremely wet to the touch, and the slickness helps with making the friction pleasurable when your fingertips find your clit and begin rubbing circles. “Slowly.”

Johnny finds your huff of frustration adorable.

The tip of his dick taps your mouth again to gain your attention. You suck spit up to the front of your mouth, then your mouth is stretched wide once again, hand back in your hair.

Having your throat fucked with the additional pleasure on your clit, even with the slow pace you’re forced to go at, has you practically whining, the sound going in and out as he goes in and out your mouth. That vibration only spurs Johnny to grip your locks tighter and thrust in deeper to feel as much as your mouth and throat offer.

“You were made for this, huh?”

“Mhm,” you affirm, eyes rolling back at the way he pulls your hair to tip your head back and get a different, much better angle.

Johnny honestly didn’t expect you to submit so easily to him. The visual of your face all messy, eyes hardly opened to look into his eyes and hair out of place while touching yourself sparks that feeling in his lower abdomen.

“You want me to cum in your mouth?” You hum again and even with a mouth full of dick you manage to smile. You’re getting what you wanted. “Don’t swallow it until I tell you to.”

It takes a few more strokes for Johnny to fulfill your wish. The moment his head falls back again you use your free hand to caress his balls, and that does it. He leaves the tip in so that his cum pools onto your tongue and strokes every drop out. The groan he lets out causes you to unintentionally swipe at your clit faster, but he’s distracted anyway.

“Let me see,” Johnny says after collecting himself and stepping back. You straighten your head so none slides down your throat and open your mouth wider for his inspection. He smiles in approval, wishing he could take a picture of the sight before him. “Swallow.”

You lick your lips and wipe away all the spit that traveled outside of your mouth with the sleeve of your jacket after doing so.

Johnny completely removes his pants before he leans down to kiss you again. His tongue languidly licks against the seam of your mouth for an entrance that you grant instantly. While it curls around your own and he gets a taste of himself, Johnny’s hand guides you to bend one leg and he caresses your outer thigh.

“Good?” Johnny asks for extra measure, lips just barely dragging across your cheek to press opened mouth kisses on your jaw. Your head automatically tilts to the opposite side to give him more real estate. You hum, your mouth a bit preoccupied with how your teeth have trapped your bottom lip.

Your breath stutters at the gentle scrape of his teeth along the length of your neck after he unzips the high neck of your top to expose more skin. Whichever scent you chose to put on today has Johnny latched onto your neck for a while, kissing, licking, nibbling the skin to the point of your breath coming out a lot louder than before and the seat on your underwear getting uncomfortably wetter. You’re throbbing at this point and not being touched enough, so you claw at his sides and call his name quietly.

Johnny eventually spreads your legs more and maneuvers himself in between them. Both of your legs bend at the knee to accommodate his large build in the middle of them, and the hand that isn’t keeping himself propped up by your head kneads your hip.

“You know how long I’ve been wanting to get you like this?”

“How long?” you prompt, voice hardly above a whisper.

“Since the day you gave me a tour of the building,” he admits and slowly rises until he’s up on his knees.

“That’s a long time,” you respond lamely, hardly caring when your pussy is practically screaming at you to be touched. He raises a brow, and when he looks back up at your face, your lip is back in between your teeth.

If he doesn’t touch you soon you might explode.

“I’ve wanted this for a while, too,” you decide to confess, hoping it gets you somewhere. And it does. It’s almost like you’re rewarded for it by Johnny walking back on his knees until he’s far enough to settle on his stomach, face barely inches away from the apex of your thighs. He subconsciously licks his lips at the smell of you. He’s been wanting to taste you for so long now, but he refrains himself because he sees how you’re affected by the lack of attention to your heat. He promised he’d take care of you and that’s exactly what he’s going to do. But not before breaking you.

“Wish you would’ve told me sooner,” he eventually tells you after having you hold your breath for way too long.

“You know I couldn’t.” The way Johnny looks at you, attentive to every word that comes out of your mouth while he smoothly scoops your legs over his shoulders to wrap his arms around your thighs, makes you continue speaking. “Seems like everything fell into place, though.”

Johnny nods, rests his head on one of your thighs, and looks up at you, brown eyes still watching your mouth intently, as he unhooks one of his arms to push your right leg further to the side. His fingers are soon on your center, gliding up and down your slit, bumping into your clit with each pass.

“I guess it did.”

Before you can reply, he adds more pressure behind his touch, and your hips just barely lift to get even more. The smile you get in return is attractive as all hell but annoying. He knows exactly what he’s doing to you or he’s just really enjoying himself. Either way, you’re getting more impatient by the second, if the way your hips rise to grind your core against his fingers again says anything.

“Stay still for me, okay?” You almost pout because you need more, but you promised to give him total control of the situation and you’ve done well thus far, so you press your ass back into his comforter. “There you go.”

Your pussy clenches around nothing.

The light pressure on your clit is soon gone and then the zipper of your jacket gets dragged down all the way. “Take this off for me.”

Sitting up, you do as told. You toss it where your leggings had been dropped and now you’re presented in front of the awe-struck brunet in just your matching set of underwear. You figured you’d wear something nice under your clothes, both for Johnny’s pleasure and for your confidence, and with how Johnny’s eyes settle on the way your breasts are trying to burst out of your snug lacy bra, you know you chose well.

A hand slides up your torso to grab one of your breasts and squeeze it. Somewhere in the midst of him fondling your chest and pressing teasing, yet promising kisses on your inner thighs your eyes drift shut again as you bask in the pleasure. One of your own hands comes up from your side to slide under the cup of your unoccupied tit and pull at your nipple.

The tip of Johnny’s tongue drags dangerously close to your annoying-still-clothed heat and your patience is shot.

“John…”

“Yes?”

“I need more.”

He has the audacity to hum and give your clit a kitten lick. “Do you?”

You huff, stuck between just pushing his face into your pussy or doing what he asks of you, but you promised, so you suck in a breath and give him what he wants.

“John,” you say again, almost whining.

He doesn’t say anything, just continues to look at you expectantly. And when too much time goes by, it somehow hits you what he wants from you and you groan quietly to yourself.

“Please.”

“That was very convincing,” Johnny snorts. His nose glides across the inside of your thigh like he’s got all the time in the world. It tickles in the best way, but it’s nothing but teasing and you’ve been stimulated enough that if you go more than a couple of seconds more without his mouth giving you direct pleasure, you’ll go insane. So with a great amount of willpower, you try again.

“Johnny,” you whine, giving him your best pout. Addressing him so informally feels foreign, but the way his eyes light up encourages you to keep going.“Please?”

And of course a big smile takes up half of his face and you mentally prepare yourself for what’s next to come. He peels your panties off, both of you watching the line of slick that stretches then breaks in the process, and when you spread your legs even more for him, his mouth salivates.

Johnny makes sure you’re looking into his eyes as his tongue licks a wide stripe from your entrance to your clit. He wants to be smug at the gasp you let out, but the taste of you shuts his ego up quickly.

You squeak when you’re suddenly flipped onto your stomach and your ass is lifted up into the air. With yet another broad lick to coat his taste buds with your essence, Johnny buries his face in your pussy. He uses the tip of his tongue to collect the puddle of wetness you’ve produced and smears it over your clit, soon digging inside to directly stimulate the bundle of nerves.

Johnny’s lips close around your clit and he sucks on it softly. As the moments pass he gradually sucks harder to the point of you not being able to fight the way your eyes flutter shut and hips push back. He’s nice about the movement, just grabbing your hips to keep you still, soon caressing and kneading.

“Mm, that feels good,” you compliment. At that very moment, Johnny decides to roll his tongue in up and down motions and apply more pressure behind his hands. “Fuck, that feels so good.”

He prompts you with a hum of his own.

With how your moans start to get louder and your breath gets quicker and harder, not to mention the tingles you feel building in intensity, you know you’re already close. It’s a beautiful yet frustrating feeling because you don’t want this to end so soon after waiting so long. But you also want him inside of you so bad now.

Johnny comes back up to circle your entrance, and then he goes even higher.

“Are you— fuck,” you groan deeply.

Your hands grip the pillow your face is buried in and your eyes have found the back of your head again. Johnny just hums at the way you react, the octave of your voice as you let out your sounds of pleasure go straight to his dick. His tongue licks filthily up and down, not leaving an inch untouched nor missing a drop of your juice. His fingers rub your entrance until he slides one in. One becomes two after a few pumps, then his thumb presses into your clit and your back is arched almost uncomfortably.

“Johnny,” you whine again, breath hiccuped.

“Yes?” he prompts, lifting his head and looking up to see your face peaking around your body, smushed into his pillow still.

“I wanna cum,” you tell him. It feels too good now. “Fuck, I need to come, Johnny.”

“Then cum for me.” His voice is so gentle yet commanding as his digits speed up. He tongues the skin between your holes sloppily and you try to curl into yourself, your mouth wide opened with no sound coming out of it, your walls clenching madly around the fingers inside of you, and your grip on the cushion is borderline painful.

Johnny helps you ride out your orgasm for as long as possible until your body begins shuddering due to oversensitivity. He gradually slows down to a stop, then removes himself from your body to let you breathe correctly. While he sucks on his fingers, he uses his clean hands to soothingly rub your back, waiting for you to calm back down.

You’re a bit dazed during the transition of more kissing that leads you on top of him, straddling him once again. You vaguely remember the caresses on your waist or the pinch of his fingers playing with your nipples, but the feeling of your bare pussy dragging against his dick is very memorable because it sparks a desperate need within you to sit on it.

Johnny’s hands on your hips move you to continue the friction, moving you back and forth on his dick easily. Foreheads connected as you catch your breath from the kiss you just broke away from, the two of you watch silently as his head reappears and disappears behind your lips, turning you both on until he’s fully hard again and you can’t handle him not being inside of you anymore.

You lift up on your knees to align his tip with your entrance. A silent look is exchanged where you ask and he nods once. He lets you take your time, enjoying the feeling of his tip directly rubbing against your sopping entrance.

Your labored breaths at the sensation bring his attention to your chest, and his mouth wraps around a nipple without a thought. By now, you deem his dick wet enough to press his head in your hole and press your hips down. The moment he slides in your head falls back because the stretch burns in the best way. It feels like time doesn’t exist as you work your way down his length, inch by inch. Your hips naturally find a slow rhythm as you lift and drop them to take in more until he slides in and out easily.

When your features no longer show discomfort, Johnny begins moving with you. Every time he lifts his hips up a little to meet your thrusts his body slumps down the headboard. His hands are loose on your waist as you move your body up and down and he’s got the perfect view of his dick going in and out of your core while you’re controlling the pace and intensity. The muscles in your thighs start to burn, so you slow down to a stop and carefully slide your way down until your clit comes in contact with his pubic bone, resulting in your eyes rolling back, hips grinding on their own accord.

“How the fuck do you feel this good?” Johnny groans deeply, hands gripping your ass to assist your movements.

His compliment, his hungry, intense gaze as they take you in from your eyes—which mirror his own—down to the trail of slick you’ve left behind on his tamed curls from the swivel of your hips, and the way his cock rubs against your g-spot send you over the edge within moments. Johnny soothingly rubs a cheek with one hand while the other caresses your arched spine, keeping his hips still to let you ride your orgasm out on your own.

You slump into him, head on his shoulder, panting against his neck. A sigh of content slips out when Johnny hugs you tightly against his broad chest right before asking, “You alright?”

“Great,” you reply breathlessly.

Johnny smiles at the positive response. He lifts his hips experimentally and gauges your reaction, which is a satisfied hum.

“You want more?” he asks, hands moving to your hips to carefully grind against him. How could you say no? “Hands and knees, baby.”

You begin climbing off to the side of him then he follows your lead and lifts himself up so you can settle on your knees and bend until your face slides onto his pillow. Your hands grab the sides of it in anticipation.

A deep groan sounds from behind you, so you crane your neck and see the way he stares down at how he can see everything you have to offer him at this moment. One hand goes to his dick while the other massages one of your cheeks. He runs the swollen tip of his dick along your slit, collecting what’s oozed out. You close your eyes and relax the side of your face into the cushion beneath it and take a breath, preparing yourself for the stretch and intensity this angle never fails to bring.

He slowly starts to breach your entrance. There’s a pause, then you hear him spit down before more of him slips inside of you inch by inch with each roll of his hips. He keeps his movements shallow for a while and your walls reaccept him easily. A particular thrust sends him deep inside of you, his tip just barely kissing your cervix. Your body’s first instinct is to run away from it. His hands on your hips stop you from fleeing, holding you still and rubbing the skin there to ease you.

“I won’t go too deep,” he tells you, hips still as he kisses up your spine and makes you dizzy by the tenderness of it all. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

You nod at his promises and take another steadying breath, then the pleasurable friction is back. You’d believe anything he told you with that intoxicating voice of his.

A loud, embarrassing squelch comes out of your core when he’s sheathed inside that makes you bury your face into the pillow. There’s one last kiss at the top of your spine before the body heat from his chest is gone and he’s back upright. He finds his rhythm easily, and hands return to your backside, fingers digging into the flesh, no doubt leaving behind white imprints. He uses his grip as leverage to fuck down into you at a different angle that allows him to speed up and rip an unrestrained moan from your throat.

“You okay?”

You nod violently and sob, “Yes! Oh, my god, yes.”

Content, Johnny hums and you just know he’s grinning down at you by the sound of his voice when he asks: “Feels good?”

“So good,” you whine, unable to close your mouth or stop noises from coming out of it. You begin dropping your hips down to meet his thrusts, the loud smacks of skin against skin echoing and bouncing off of the walls of his room. “Fuck it feels so good, Johnny.”

“I know, baby” he groans. “And this pussy feels so fucking good—shit.”

The two of you get lost in the rhythm you’ve created and no more words are exchanged for a while, just the sound of groans that comes deep from Johnny’s throat and whines and pants that make you drool all while drying your throat out. The room has gotten increasingly hotter and your bodies now shine with a thin, sticky sheen that makes the back of your thighs stick to the front of his own every time he fucks back into you. Your sensitive nipples rub harshly against the sheets, stimulating you even further to the point of another sob ripping out of your throat and your walls fluttering around his girth.

“I’m gonna cum,” you whimper. Your divulgence prompts him to reach his arm under you to graze his fingertips over your engorged clit and then you’re repeating your words over and over again until your actions meet your words and you’re cumming all over him. Your essence drips down the insides of your thighs and his balls and his thrusts create wetter, louder noises. A swivel of your hips causes his dick to pop out and suddenly your body is vibrating.

“There you go, baby,” Johnny praises you, sliding back into you and precisely hitting that spot within you a few more times until your pussy clenches again and he pulls out again, letting more wetness spray the sheets under you.

“Look at you,” he continues with a deep chuckle. “Making such a big mess.”

You don’t know if he really meant for you to look but your curiosity gets the best of you and you lift your head and look in between your legs. There’s a dark puddle on his sheets and another whine leaves your body, your head falling back into the pillow.

“Can you handle more?” Johnny asks you softly, slapping the top of your asscheek with his dick.

You need more. You don’t know what the hell Johnny has done to you and your body but you feel empty and not satisfied enough. Your core is raw at this point but you want nothing more than to feel the velvety skin of his thick, long dick sliding in and out of you and hitting every spot in you that makes your body convulse again.

“Please,” you beg, wagging your hips to emphasize your needs. “Please, Johnny.”

“I’ve got you begging now?” He sounds so turned on yet taken aback, another dark laugh vibrating your body at the nod of your head and movement of your body. If you were in your right mind, you would be ashamed of your behavior and submission to your assistant, but you’re not. And who cares when you’ve never felt this way before and crave to feel even more?

“I need it,” you confess without shame. “Need you back inside of me.”

Johnny doesn’t need any more convincing to be back, deep within you and instantly satisfying you again. Your breath stutters and it’s not easy to speak in coherent sentences, but that doesn’t stop you from trying to voice your pleasure and appreciation to the brunet whose self-control only continues to dissolve the faster he slams into you and the higher your voice gets.

Both of your breath patterns get quicker, loud, more erratic, signaling the approach of his first release and your third? Fourth? You can’t keep up with it when your brain has turned into mush and you can barely remember your own name, only his own registering in your brain. His name rolls off of your tongue like a mantra, driving him insane behind you.

“Where do you want me to cum?” he pants. It takes you too long to swallow in an attempt to lubricate your throat and answer him, Johnny humming in question impatiently.

“My back,” you manage to squeak out. You’re impressed with the amount of control he has, the slamming of his hips into your ass somehow speeding up and getting rougher. Johnny lacks the control and precision from before, and the way his tip kisses your cervix rips a yell out of you, eyes watering as you hold on for dear life. He releases a drawn out groan from deep within, and not too long later you feel ropes of cum land on your lower back and ass.

Your body is shaking. Tears leak out of your eyes, your breath is hard to catch, and quiet cries come out. You’re gently flipped over and pulled into strong arms, quickly finding comfort in the chest you settle into.

“You’re okay, baby,” Johnny’s soft voice says to you, but you can’t open your eyes or your mouth to acknowledge him. You’re confused about why you’re reacting to this, but you don’t dislike it. Especially when you have Johnny to soothe you and help you calm down. “Are you hurting anywhere?”

You shake your head and finally try to respond, but it takes a couple of coughs and harsh swallows of spit to do so. “No. I feel good. Everywhere.”

Your speech is choppy, unlike your usual way of speaking, but stringing words into sentences that flow well is too much work right now. Johnny doesn’t mind; he loves that he had that effect on you after you’ve had him under your spell for so long. He loves the fact he successfully kept his promise to you and now you’re boneless in his arms.

He reaches for the glass of water on his nightstand and hands it to you. “Are you ready for a bath?”

“Can I fall asleep in the bath?” you ask, wiping your face tiredly.

“Sure,” Johnny says softly before setting you down on the dry part of the bed. “I’ll come get you once it’s ready.”

That’s how the rest of the day plays out, you getting taken care of in multiple ways. Your favorite method is with his tongue and fingers as he made out with your pussy for what felt like hours in lieu of an apology for going so hard. And maybe Johnny purposely falls asleep next to you after you’re bathed, fed, and exhausted from coming, curled up into his side in the new sheets because he wants you to stay a little longer. There’s no way in hell he’ll ever get to see this side of you again after today.

“Good morning,” Johnny greets you. It’s eight in the morning the following Monday, and he’s got your avocado toast and fruit in his hands as he walks up to your desk.

You're rummaging through your bag looking for the bobby pins you threw inside of it this morning in your rush to get to work on time because believe it or not, you overslept. You give up in favor of looking up to greet him back, but your voice decides not to come out when your eyes lock with his. There hadn’t been any contact since you woke up in the middle of the night and he walked you to his door with a lingering kiss that quite literally took your breath away to close out the short chapter of your relationship you’d just created. You were still tired, but you definitely were not supposed to sleep over, so it was nothing.

But now, seeing the same eyes that stared into your own while you came and cried his name multiple times, all you can do is blink. And then he licks his pretty lips. You knew this would happen. You’re not mad at it, though. How could you be when you’d never experienced someone like him before? In hindsight, there was no possible way to go back to normal after the intimacy, tenderness, and raw attraction you shared that day. No possible way to never want another taste.

“You okay?” he asks unsurely, setting your plates down.

And here it comes.

“Johnny,” you say lowly, setting your bag down. The quirk in his brow and the corner of his mouth lets you know he’s onto you. And that just makes things easier for you. “Lock the door.”

yikesssssss

#johnny seo scenarios #johnny seo scenario #johnny seo smut #nct scenarios #nct scenario #nct smut #lets not talk abt the ending i needed to end this monster

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1ddotdhq · 4 years

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🍕 Tues Aug 31 😷

So what kind of day has it been? The VMAs aired last night, and Harry did not win any of the categories that he was nominated for, including (much to my surprise) the Song of the Summer category - the winner was Blackpink with “How You Like That”! Kpop wins this round, I guess. In other news, he was seen again today in London, at a pizza express with some friends. His friends have been tentatively identified as Gabe Turner and co.. Turner co-runs Fulwell 73 productions (the company that Ben Winston also runs), and I’m personally hoping that this means new Harry content is on the horizon! Harry himself was dressed in head to toe Gucci, including a small Gucci purse that I wish I owned. There’s a piece of you in how I dress, he sings, and also promptly wears striped shirts (the Gucci Orgasmique collection, apparently) and a blue bandana! It’s okay, Harry, I get it. Me too.

Speaking of striped shirts and blue bandanas, LTHQ took the time to let everyone know that Louis is up for 96.5 TDY’s Artist of the Summer Award. He is also up against a Kpop group - BTS- and so far seems to be winning by the smallest of margins. Let’s see if it goes better for him!

Niall was spotted in Barbados with Amelia, living it up on yachts and restaurants, nary a mask in sight. The fan reaction to this has been overwhelmingly negative, calling his actions selfish, entitled, and dangerous. At least his ankle seems to have mostly healed! He did take some time away from his vacation to remind everyone that he thinks Heartbreak Weather should get some Grammy lovin’.

Gigi also posted more pregnancy photos (from the same July shoot), as well as some brief behind the scene content. What does Zayn have to say about this? Who knows, because he still hasn’t said anything! Did he lose his phone again, do you think?

#harry styles #louis tomlinson #niall horan #zayn malik #gigi hadid #oh louis' merch sold out #and i didn't get any #sad #song of the day!#is The Phone Book #by Editors

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gmwsuperfan5467890 · 2 years

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I was tagged by @mylucayathoughts , thanks for tagging me and sorry that this was so late!

Rule : Tag 9 people you want to know better.

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

Right now it’s a short-sleeved orange and white flannel shirt, mainly because it reminds me of Cassie’s Oklahoma moment (from Euphoria) and that’s hilarious to me. It also is a really cute shirt.

Favourite time of the year?

Summer, no doubt. I love hot weather, going to the beach, eating ice-cream and taking a break from school/uni. My birthday is also in the summer so that’s a huge plus.

Favourite song?

This is so difficult. I will give 3 songs that I know I will never get tired of.

I Won’t Mind (slowed down)- Zayn

Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore- REO Speedwagon

Outta My Head- Khalid & John Mayer

Comfort food?

Chicken pané and fries with sour cream. It’s sooo good!

Do you collect anything?

Only fictional characters that will break my heart 💔💔

Favourite drink?

Water.

Favourite fanfic?

I have a lot of fanfics I love from so many different fandoms so it’s hard for me to choose one.

Tagging: @derit-s ,@idk-i-just-wanted-two-blogs, @thewinterset ,@howdoichangemyprofilepicture, @willthecleric ,@saturnian-venus, @idio-cies, @pidger,@purplerakath.

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songsaboutnouis · 2 years

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Introduction Post

Just a disclaimer before you continue to read, i probably wont post much of my own content. Im only here in case stan twt goes down.

Now that the disclaimer is out of the way, lets get on with business. I do have a carrd its: enchantedriddance.carrd.co but because i know people dont read them i’ll post the following:

BYF:

i cuss alot, i do share my opinion & im not afraid to argue it. I dont tolerate any hatred of my favs, friends, or me. I stan multiple people, so the stan list may exclude some just because too many to count.

DFI:

Youre ___phobic. If you can fill in that blank, dont follow. You hate any of my favs. If youre from twitter and hate me. Youre just here to troll me & be an asshole.

Stans:

Niall Horan, Taylor Swift, Louis Tomlinson, Maroon 5, Green Day, Prima Donna, 5SOS (Lukes lane), Royal and the Serpents, One Direction

Likes:

Zayn, Olivia Rodrigo, Selena Gomez, Blake Shelton, Luke Bryan, The Office (Dwight is my fav), The Vampire Diaries (Damon is my fav), Grandson, Cows, Plants, The Longshot (band), Foxboro Hottubs (band)

Favorite Albums

Heartbreak Weather by Niall Horan.

Speak Now by Taylor Swift

Take Me Home by One Direction

Hands All Over by Maroon 5

Bless This Mess by Prima Donna

Warning by Green Day

I think its important to note this:

I do giveaways alot on Twitter, they’ll probably follow me onto here. Im not sure how to run them on another site though, lol. I do have a massive following on Twitter, but I dont expect them to follow me here. I’m okay with that.

As a reminder: your mental health will always be more important than the number of followers you have!

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heartsforniall · 3 years

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Songs that remind me of Eli and Demetri relationship.

"They just don't know you" by Little Mix

"Bad at Love" by Halsey. Idk why....🤷🏼‍♀️

"IDGAF" by Dua Lipa

"Back to you" by Louis Tomlinson ft. Bebe Rexha

"Dusk till Dawn" by ZAYN ft. Sia

"Without me" by Halsey

"In the name of love" by Bebe Rexha ft Martin Garrix

And of course....... "Sweater Weather" by the neighborhood.

Message me if you want a certain relationship or character.😁

#cobra kai #binary boyfriends #eli moskowitz #demetri #miguel diaz #miyagidokarate #robby keene #johnny lawrence #tory nichols #sam larusso

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lululawrence · 3 years

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Annual Writing Self Evaluation

Thank you for the tag @louandhazaf!!! I’m honestly clutching my chest that you tagged me, so thank you xxx especially since i love this little self eval that i think @juliusschmidt came up with all those years ago and we just keep perpetuating it haha

this... is going to get long, though. since it asks me to list my works published this year and that is 24. so. here goes.

1. List of works published this year:

Swerve the Handshake (Nick/Louis)

Need So Much of You (Harry/Louis for @onedirectionbigbang)

You're A (Total) Distraction (girl!direction and hybrid Harry/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Always Keep You Next To Me (Greg/Louis for @wallsficfest)

With Your Hand In Mine (Nick/Louis for @wallsficfest)

Smells Like Omega Spirit (Harry/Louis for @1daboficfest)

If Only We Wish Hard Enough (Harry/Louis for @disneydirectionfest)

Political Pizza (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Talk the Night Through (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Wrinkles (Harry/Louis for @1000feelingsfics)

Would You Be My Girlfriend? (girl!direction Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Lately You've Been On My Mind (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

Don't Want It Any Other Way (Harry/Louis for @wordplayfics)

I'm Ready for the Worst (Greg/Louis for @louisandmenfest)

Loving You's the Antidote (Nick/Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Do You Know Who You Are? (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Don't You Call Him (What You Used To Call Me) (Harry/Louis for @finelineficfest)

Gone Too Long (From You) (Harry/Louis co-written with @fallinglikethis for @finelineficfest)

Just Me and the Stars Can Get Lonely (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

The Way You Bend the Rules (Niall/Rory McIlroy for @heartbreakweatherficfest)

And Then I Saw His Face (Harry/Louis for @1dtrickortreatfest)

I'mma Give You A Promotion (Nick/Louis)

What You Waiting For? (Nick/Harry for @1000feelingsfics)

(I'm Dreaming of a) One Night Inn (Harry/Louis, Zayn/Liam, Niall/Shawn)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

every time i think about this question i’ve got a different answer, to be honest. i do think my I Go Down Blazing, Feeling Like I'm Going Crazy series is probably what i’m most proud of, though. as soon as i knew @runaway-train-works was going to be hosting the heartbreak weather fic fest, i knew i wanted to write dear patience, but as the idea grew and grew and more ideas solidified and i realized what the story was turning into, i realized it was so much more than i originally thought and i needed a second song to help me fully get a solid grasp on it. in the end, it was a hard duo of fics to write, mainly because i honestly don’t know much of anything about golf, i was still trying to create fully the way soulmates worked in the world, and there’s just not all that much about rory online to find, so i was winging it haha but i’m so incredibly happy with the world i made and the fics i wrote, even if i don’t know that they’ll ever get to like 200 hits or whatever hahaha i love them.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

uhhhhh you know looking at this list of fics i have, i’m actually proud of every single one for some reason and i don’t know if there’s any of them that i’d even label as “least proud”.

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

i hate this question and forget that it is on this list every year lollll let me see if i can find something i really like. okay i found one, it’s from my long grouis haha and i’m apologizing now for it being so long. you can skip ahead to the next question if you like, but i’m just incredibly proud of the banter and the way i wrote this section, PLUS those damn joggers actually happened because he posted a photo of himself wearing them in the shops on instagram and that inspired this entire thing so. enjoy. (i’ve italicized it and indented it to hopefully make it easier to skip it’s so long i’m so sorry)

“It’s safe for you to come back in here,” Louis called out as he closed his computer.

“Thank goodness, I was getting so exhausted of hiding in your bedroom and snooping through all your shit,” Greg said as he walked out wearing a sheet mask and a pair of grey joggers that did nothing to hide what he was packing.

Louis smirked and wanted to say something, but Greg kept going.

“Did you know you have like five different deodorants in there?”

Louis threw his arm on the back of his couch and nodded.

“Why?” Greg asked, throwing himself down onto the couch and placing his stupidly long legs on top of Louis’. “Who legitimately needs five different deodorants? Do they have different uses or something? Some were even women’s deodorants, so I wasn’t sure if they were your sisters’ or what. Oh, and I helped myself to one of your fancy toners. It had rosewater in it or something.”

“Well, for the deodorants I just like trying different scents and I switch them up based on my mood. And actually, the one I use most often is a women’s deodorant. It works great. Plus I smell fresh and clean like baby powder all day.” Louis shrugged. “And that wasn’t my toner. Dunno who left it. Just showed up one day and no one says it’s theirs, so I kept it. It’s quite nice, isn’t it? Lotts said it’s supposed to help even out the PH balance of my skin or some shit, but I’ll be fucked if I know what that actually means.”

“Oh, that does sound fancy,” Greg agreed, checking the time on his phone. “I’ve got five more minutes on this mask, don’t let me forget. Don’t want to leave it on so long it burns my skin off or summat.”

“Sure,” Louis said, laughing. “So are you actually wearing anything under these or are you just that excited to see me?”

“Eh?” Greg asked before looking down at his crotch. Of course, now he was sitting down it didn’t show anything. “What are you on about?”

“Stand back up and look in a mirror, mate,” Louis said, laughing. “You’re dick was trying to tell me hello a minute ago.”

“I didn’t tell it to do that,” Greg muttered as he shifted so he could stand back up again. He walked into Louis’ bedroom, and Louis could hear when he’d seen himself. “Oh my God, that’s obscene! Does it always look like that when I wear these?”

Louis laughed and walked into his bedroom to see Greg’s eyes wide as he shifted himself around and walked a bit, appalled that no matter what he did, nothing seemed to make it any less there.

“I wouldn’t know, I’ve never seen you in those. You usually nick a pair of mine,” Louis reminded him. “Do you wear them without pants often?”

“I never wear pants with these,” Greg said, rubbing his forehead. “Fuck, I’ve likely given that nan that lives below me too many looks at my cock without even realising it. They’re my softest, most favorite pair of joggers! I wear them to the shops when I’m too knackered to get fully dressed!”

As Greg continued to narrate the various escapades he’d had over the years in the joggers without even realising what he’d been doing, Louis settled onto his bed, propping himself up on his elbow so he could still watch Greg as he motioned about in distress.

When it was clear Greg wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon, Louis pulled out his phone and started filming. There was no one he could share this with, but it would be good for a laugh later on.

“Fuck, and you didn’t remind me to take off my mask!” Greg cried, rushing back into the bathroom to remove the sheet mask and do whatever else he had to do when he used them.

Greg was proper obsessed with them, said they were relaxing and kept his skin soft. Louis just liked knowing they were one of Greg’s things, like taking regular baths with a bottle of wine and perusing various adoption websites for dogs he could possibly give a good home to.

“Sorry, love,” Louis said, as Greg walked back out of the bathroom. He really was sorry, but he also couldn’t pass up the opportunity to keep taking the piss. Greg was too much fun to rile up. “Was distracted by your big dick flopping about whilst you remembered all the good times you’d had in the joggers.”

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

i’ve had a few this year that told me they don’t usually read that pairing or they don’t usually comment on fics, but for various reasons they gave the pairing a try or wanted to comment because of something specific and those were particularly lovely. that said, every comment is so so great, they really do boost me up to see them and i need to do better with getting my anxiety in hand and responding to them regularly.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

this entire damn year, man. all of the time i’d carefully carved out for myself over the past few years to write was basically blown to shit with the pandemic, which also was so exhausting it didn’t leave me with much energy to write. but i still somehow posted 24 fics?? i dunno, dude. i think writing saved me and gave me something to look forward to, tbh.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

most of my advent fic, tbh lollll a lot that was in there wasn’t really brainstormed ahead of time, it just happened, and i forgot some of the details even because i just flat out didn’t remember what i’d put in there, so i’m STILL surprised haha i love when fics happen like that

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

i always think of challenges as fun and then i look back and wonder if i was insane because i thought it would be fun to try something new but it was mostly really fucking hard haha i wrote a lot of pairings and combinations of tropes this year that i never have before as well as stretching myself with writing emotions and situations i never have before, so i’m quite proud of myself for continuing to push the envelope and try new things like that.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

i mostly hope that i’ll be able to carve more time out for myself as things HOPEFULLY settle down a bit more. i might not be as impulsive when it comes to choosing things to write at that point, but we’ll see. lol

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i... hmm. there’s a lot of people i’m thinking of right now, but it’s hard to choose just one. i think actually there were two and they were @louandhazaf and @disgruntledkittenface. i very much admire both of them for their own writing and works, but i am particularly inspired by how many pairings they write and the variety of fics they have posted. it’s definitely because of them that i’ve tried writing a lot of the pairings that i have, and that’s before you even start to look at the help they’ve given me with betaing certain fics (usually rare pairs lollll). they’re just both so supportive and open to so many things, and i am so much more open to all sorts of things because of them. i CANNOT answer this without mentioning the Write Your Way Out GC either, though. Y’all are my crew in SO many ways and you let me rely on you in every way through this past year. it really does take a village, doesn’t it?

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

lmao i’m sure. but all i’m thinking of at the moment are the tumblr posts and canon compliant shit i based the fics on, so nothing off the top of my head apparently haha

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

hell if i know. maybe just... write for yourself. i think that’s why i’m so proud of every fic i wrote this year. i really was writing for me and if others like it too? bonus.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

my big bang!!! that’s the big one. i’m so excited for it. i have a whole list of other fics, too, though. hahaha i’m also super SUPER excited for both of my omega harry fics to post hehe

14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read.

@becomeawendybird @sadaveniren @londonfoginacup

*All answers should be about works published in 2020. Also, you can skip any questions you hate or don’t want to answer, but please leave them on the list so that others can do them if they want.

#mine #2020 writing meme #self eval #writing self eval #writing stuff

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apr1cots · 3 years

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my sweet bbs @frenchmarshmalloww, @lucienneart, and @phoebedelia tagged me to do this and i haveee never done a tag before so here i am.

here are tiny glimpses into my life through my babies

a handful of birthdays

he’d been dreading the day for weeks. it didn’t matter who wished him happy birthday, because he knew that the one person who really mattered wouldn’t say a word. his heart ached in a way he hadn’t thought was survivable and in his darkest moments, he still didn’t know how he could possibly keep on living. nothing was right without draco and it wasn’t fair that he felt so empty when draco appeared to be completely fine. how could draco be so okay without him? draco lived in his head, their arguments playing on a loop. but more than that, harry couldn’t stop thinking about the good times, the best times.

not to start us off in a dark place but lol. my best friend from the age of 5 years and i dated and in the end it led to the brutal demolition of our friendship. losing that longterm friendship with someone who knew every inch of my soul shattered my heart pretty bad. i wrote this the day before my birthday, knowing i wouldn’t hear from him. i didn’t. and it hurt like hell.

wolf

i was just staring at my suit across the room while the minutes ticked on and i kept telling myself i’d stand up in just a moment and then it was half ten and it was too late and i closed my eyes and forced myself to sleep so i didn’t have to think about everyone who would be upset with me.

this is how my depression feels so much of the time. the avoidance and the sickening weight of wanted so desperately to be productive or to go to the thing. having your true self begging you to get up and clean your room but a thousands voices drowning that voice in your head out screaming you can’t you can’t you can’t.

love letter

his shaking fingers traced draco’s name in the white marble remembering again that it would never get easier.

losing people changes your heart forever.

caught

draco’s hand caught scorpius’ wrist just before he dipped a finger in the frosting.

“and what exactly do you think you’re doing?”

i love children! i’ve always been surrounded my children in my family and i’ve done quite a bit of nannying. i prefer children over adults any day of the week. when i was very tiny i wanted to be a grandma when i grew up.

cruel summer

the cracks in the weathered leather of the passenger seat of the dark green tr6 caught on harry’s trousers as he shifted in the warmth of the dying embers of the sun’s valiant effort at an indian summer, so rare in his corner of the world. trees flew past his peripheral vision, blurred as he focused on the road ahead.

my dad has a cute little red tr6 and i LOVE it. going for drives in the summer is one of the best feelings in the world. my dad loves an indian summer night and they always make me think of him. plus taylor swift, of course.

strangers in the night

harry had grown to hate the sunrise. the soft unfurling colors were a stinging reminder that he should be asleep, that he only had half a handful of hours before he had to start a new day, and that his own sanity was spiraling out of control in the stilted slow motion of the hours when everyone else was asleep. the sunrise filled him with a thick, creeping self loathing every time, molasses filling his belly and settling like a rock.

insomnia has let me see far too many sunrises that i didn’t want to see. and it always fills me with guilt because i should have tried harder to sleep and if i had only done all of my work on time and worked out and x, y, and z then i would be a better person.

harry styles giving harry potter bi panic

when zayn left the band, he and ginny went on a drive around london, listened to spaces and bawled.

i did this!! with my sister. though, not in london. we were devastated the day zayn left the band i will never forget it and we were driving and listening to one direction and spaces came on and we just turned towards one another halfway through, eyes full of tears, and knew.

just friends

It felt like Harry was the first thing he had ever really wanted that he couldn’t have. And it was all his fault.

pining for your best friend is the WORST!! certifiably. i hate it. been there. done that. couldn’t be me again haha. mine did end up in a relationship but not like this!!!

this ended up way longer than i intended and also p depressing haha. but pain creates art so. ily all and i tag @moonstruckwytch & @nv-md & everyone

#meeee #drarry #harry potter

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eeveedel · 4 years

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Submission for my anon for the insecure chubby Louis fic! (Feat a note from them)

Okay okay, here u go!! There’s a wee trigger warning here for insecurity, a little diet talk and emotionally abusive relationship- SO LOOK AFTER YOURSELVES. Please don’t read if you think this could upset you xx

It was still dark outside, Louis could tell by the lack of sunshine gleaming through his curtains. Winter wasn’t his best time, his mood would often reflect the weather. At the moment that was bleak and glum. Sometimes a little frosty and blue. On his good days, there would be a little joy and red rosy cheeks, hands being warmed by a steaming cuppa. Today definitely wasn’t the latter. Managing to heave his heavy bones out of bed and pull on his comfiest dressing gown, he padded down the stairs barefoot too lazy to find his slippers. He’s met with Zayn, standing in the kitchen already dressed and looking fresh.

Zayn looked up from where he was standing, expression softening as he looked at the smaller man. “Hey, morning Lou.”

“Morning Zee. work?” Louis wrapped his arms around Zayn’s waist, taking in his scent of stale cigarettes. Familiar, smelling like home.

Sighing, Zayn gave a nod, pouring boiling water into Louis’ favourite mug for him.

“Yup. Got a couple of new starts today. To tell you the truth Lou, not a single part of me can't be arsed.”

Louis scoffed at that, softly shaking his head. “Och shut your trap, maybe you’ll meet someone who tickles your fancy” He teased, taking the mug Zayn made him.

A look of warning was shot in louis’ direction.

“Right Lou, that’s me off, behave yourself, I’ll be home to make dinner at 6. Make sure you eat, but please don’t burn down my kitchen. Yeah?”

“Yes Mama, I will take good care of myself, don’t you worry.” Sticking out his tongue playfully.

“Sure, see you later babe.” Bending down to kiss Louis’ temple and ruffle his already messy bed head, before heading to the door..

Sighing, Louis wonders what he’s going to do with his day.

Two weeks prior, he had been living about a half hours drive away. He had shared a small flat above a bakery with his then at the time, long term boyfriend. He and Nathan had been together for six long, lonely years. Yes lonely.

He and Nathan had met in their University’s Halls, they stayed right across from each other, Nathan studying Business Management, and himself, fashion and photography. Now, Louis could tell you some long romantic stories of how their relationship was love at first sight, how they got lost in each other's eyes from the start and spent sundays lazing in bed snuggling each other. But that would be a flatout lie. Louis had only ever dated girls before, meaning Nathan was his first and so far his only. It had started out relatively sweet, more of a best friends kind of bond than anything else. Louis had then started to question his sexuality. It was the little things, like Nathan holding the dip of his waist in clubs and bars, almost possessive, cuddling on the couch watching movies. Before Louis knew it, they were having passionate sex and being that sickly sweet couple everyone loved but rolled their eyes at.

6 months down the line, changes were happening. Ones that Louis didn't particularly like. Comments about his appearance and personality that would hit him deep in the chest. But no matter how hurt he was, how far out the window his self esteem had gone, Louis loved Nathan and he was convinced Nathan loved him too.

Five and half years later, Louis was sitting alone, sleeping in his best friend’s flat, utterly devastated, heartbroken and more or less, feeling like shit.

Deciding to go out and take some photos to cheer himself up, Zayn’s voice came into his head reminding him to eat breakfast. He munched on some cheerios and checked his phone, scrolling aimlessly down his Instagram feed. And there it was, he knew it was coming but actually seeing it was an entirely different story. Nathan had his arm around a tall, slim man. Gorgeously tanned, biceps bulging and perfectly straight white teeth gleaming at Louis, taunting him. The photo was captioned with something sickly sweet that only made Louis nausea worsen. It had been less than a month and Nathan had already found someone else. Someone who had everything Louis didn't. Long, lean legs, slim, toned build, dazzling straight teeth. No wrinkles, no pudginess, no freckles - just clear glowy skin and abs.

If Louis could feel worse about himself he would, but fortunately he was already at Rock bottom.

****

“Fuck sake Harry, move your arse.”

“Excuse me Liam, I am taking my time, the icing needs to be perfect”

“Och shut your trap Harold, you're too clumsy to obtain cupcake perfection.” Shaking his head, Liam went to serve their next customer, ignoring Harry’s scoff.

“Oh hi Nathan. Not seen you in a while. How's our Lou then? It’s usually him to do the morning tea run.”

Harry’s ears perked at the mention of Louis. Actually, thinking about it, he hadn't seen Louis in a while. At least a few weeks had gone by which was bizarre. He continued icing but concentrated at eavesdropping on whatever Nathan had to say.

“Oh. Right well, actually me and Louis broke up. He uh, he left me about a month ago. Only just managed to get myself out of bed to tell you the truth. Suppose it’s just the way life goes..” there was a silence for a few seconds where nathan picked up his coffee from the counter. “Nice to see ya Liam, catch you later.” And with that, he wafted out the door and presumably back up to his flat.

“Did you hear that Haz? That’s Nathan saying he and Louis broke up, or rather, Louis left him? Bit out of the blue don't you think? Louis always seemed too sweet to hurt anyone...Quiet wee thing he was” Liam had his brows furrowed clearly in deep thought.

“Yeah I heard, I don’t know Li, there was always something odd about those two. Louis always seemed too timid for his own good, maybe it’s for the best.”

Liam didn’t say anything, just nodding his head in response, processing Harry’s words.

****

Louis felt no better. Infact, he felt worse. He had managed to drag himself out from his hiding nest to go for a pee and make a cup of tea, but that’s as far as his body would take him. Hearing the front door slam he knew he was about to deal with the wrath of his best friend for wallowing in his sadness all day, failing to take care of himself.

“Bebz? Don't tell me you’re still in bed-” He curled his blanket around him at seeing the disappointment in Zayn’s face.

“Lou baby, you were doing so well...What's wrong?” Climbing into bed beside his best friend, he pulled Louis into his chest, taking in the wracks of his sobs, thumbing his soft bicep in attempts of comfort.

“Come on, talk to me boo? What’s happened?” Louis couldn't speak, he was embarrassed and hurting, Zayn would figure it out later anyway when he would see Nathan's post on instagram. Understanding Louis wasn’t going to open up, he held the smaller man even tighter to his chest whilst running his fingers through his feathery brown hair (That was still not brushed) “Oh baby, he got you good didn't he..”

After some time, he felt Louis sniffles lessen his breathing evening out letting small puffs of air from his slightly rounded cheeks. His best friend had always been a little chubby, especially since he had been living above a bakery, but he had lost some weight after his breakup with Nathan. He wasn’t sure if it was insecurity or heartbreak that had made Louis' appetite disappear, probably a mixture of both. Regardless, it was upsetting to see Louis’ spark fizzle out, to see him physically shrink and push his meals away.

Zayn and Louis had had constant arguments involving getting Louis to see a therapist. Louis didn’t let his walls down easy, not even with Zayn, he refused all suggestions of talking to a professional claiming “There is no need, there’s nothing wrong with me.”

Zayn was resilient though, and there was no way he would give up on his best friend. He didn't know what Louis' relationship with Nathan had been like, he had barely seen him during the last 5 years, he had noticed how quiet and reserved he had become, at first he put that down to Louis growing up, but now he wasn’t so sure. “Come on bebz, get that arse of yours in the shower, I’m going to make us some dinner.”

Louis managed to shift himself out of bed, going to his ensuite and stripping down. Now, Louis wasn’t totally ashamed of his looks. But he also knew fine well he was nothing to be envied or admired. He had grown up with a few extra pounds (Okay, maybe a little more than a few) But he never minded it, he was always told by his friends how magnificent his curves were. Just like anyone, he had his little insecurities, his belly being one of them. After he had moved above the bakery, his weight had begun to creep up leaving him around a stone overweight. At first, Nathan had sweetly teased him about the crease under his chin, how he could packaway more food than ever before. He would softly tease Louis about how his killer curves put anyone to shame. But the sweetness that would make Louis feel all bubbly and a little embarrassed, turned into outright bullying and body shaming. Nathan began going out more and more, he would come home at 3am most nights, words were thrown around like confetti, ones that made Louis shrink inside himself and wear the baggiest jumpers he could find. He turned to food for comfort, which led to more shameful bashing from his boyfriend.

For the first time in a month, he studied himself in the mirror. Dark bags dragging down under his dull eyes, ginger facial hair looking unruly and anything but taken care off. His cheeks were not as full and pink, his double chin wasn't permanent anymore and only appeared when he looked down. His tummy still pooched forward, but it didn't hang down as much as it once did, hips still wide and thighs still thick, just a little slimmer than they had been. He was probably still considered chubby. It was weird that he missed his old body, surely he should be reveling in the idea that he now needed belts, but he wasn't. Because this wasn't him. He didn't recognise himself anymore. Nothing felt okay.

Tears pooled in his eyes, threatening to slip over. Louis wasn't going to let them though and forced himself into the shower, at least then he didn't know if the water that was streaming down his face was tears or from the shower. He liked it better that way. Dressing himself in his comfiest clothes and having to pull the drawstring tight to save them from slipping down he made his way to the kitchen where Zayn was pulling pizza and chips from the oven.

“Here bebz, eat up. I want that plate clean.” He placed a full pizza and a big bowl of McCains oven fries in front of Louis, kissing his temple before settling himself down.

Shaking his head he scoffed at zayn before telling him he was such a feeder. “I just want to see you happy boo, you’ll get your spark back if it's the last thing I do.”

They ate in silence, Louis knew Zayn was aware he wasn't ready to talk about why he felt so upset today. And that was okay.

“Boobear! How are you? I haven't spoken to you in too long my darling. You’re not at your flat are you…? That doesn't look like your place”

Louis shifted in his seat uncomfortably, he supposed it was about time he told his Mum about his breakup. Of Course he didn’t want to, he knew the fuss Jay would make and honestly Louis could look after himself and he didn't need to be babied. “Yeah um Mum, I actually have some news. It's about Nathan and I - we um, well we broke up. I can't afford a one bedroom just yet, looking for a job but ehm, yeah I'm staying with Zayn right now so…”

“Oh honey, you need to tell me these things, you know we all would have been there for you...what happened?”

“Mum I dont think I'm ready to go into that just yet, can we talk about this later? How’s the girls, and Mark? Are you all coping okay-”

Mark came into the video call, taking a seat beside his wife, he raised his eyebrows at seeing Louis’ face. He knew Mark was about to comment on his lack of double chin.

“Oh Louis my boy! You've finally lost some of that extra weight? I'm proud of you, Look at him Jay, doesn't he look so good!”

“Harry shut up, we don't need to make a website, we get enough business without social media.”

“Nah Liam, we’re making one, I don't care what you say. I'm going to put out an ad for a photographer to take photos then we can upload them to our Facebook to get people to share it. Help spread the word. Don't be such a grandad, google isn't as scary as you might think.” Scoffing, Liam rolled his eyes muttering something under his breath that quite frankly, Harry didn't give a shit about.

Looking at his watch and deciding to close up for the night he heard a small cough. From his place behind the counter he saw a mess of light brown hair, blue eyes and a soft round face. Louis.

“Louis! You haven’t been here in weeks, Liam! The wee guy has come to pay a visit!” At that, Louis crossed his arms over his chest giving Harry a glare before speaking up. “Fuck off Harold, I came to ask a favour but if youre going to be like-”

“Oh Lou you knew I was joking! C’ere.” Wrapping the shorter man into his chest he realised Louis didn't look so good. Tired eyes, beard, he looked slimmer too which made Harry a little sad. As he pulled Louis closer into him, still feeling the man's overly soft belly press against his own abs, he was happy Louis still had a little of his pudginess left. “Hey, are you okay? You’re not looking so good…”

Rolling his eyes, Louis felt a little tingle in his tummy as he realised how much he missed his banter with Harry “Yes yes Harold, I got dumped a month ago, yes I look like shit and havent shaved since, yes I’ve lost weight and I dunno why that makes everyone sad, atleast I’m not as fat as I used-”

“Stop right there you brat, don’t even finish that sentence” They pulled away from each other as Liam came in.

Harry realised Louis had said that he'd been dumped, which did not match up with what Nathan had said, he didn’t know why he actually cared so he decided he didn't and focussed on packing everything up whilst Liam and Louis caught up with each other.

“So what can we do for you then babe? Heard you said you needed a favour?”

Louis dumped himself in one of the booths by the counter, leaning back into the soft padded headrest, letting out a suffereable sigh. “Right yes well, dunno if I ever told you lot, I have a best friend Zayn who lives a little over a half hours drive away and um, after the y'know...breakup I moved in with him.” Louis kept his gaze on his hands in his lap, not really wanting to deal with Liam and Harry’s looks of sympathy he knew they were wearing. “So anyway, it’s his birthday next week and I was wondering if you guys could bake him a cake? And like maybe some cupcakes or something…”

Harry and Liam slid in next to Louis, Harry dumping a cup of tea in front of him, and Liam a box of leftovers that weren’t going to be eaten.

“I think you’ve mentioned him before yeah, we can do that cant we Harry?”

Harry was looking at the icing that Louis had managed to smear over his face from a donut he had absentmindedly shoved in his mouth. He broke his gaze and regathered himself. “Yeah, yeah of course we can do that Louis. Send us a list of allergies or like, just anything that you’re wanting made”

Harry smiled at the way Louis dimpled hands looked so little wrapped around the cup of tea he was taking delicate sips from, dribbling a bit down his chin. Louis lifted up his sweater paw’d fist, wiping it across his mouth. Nodding his head he spoke “Yeah, yeah thats great mate. Cheers for that, so what are you guys thinking about prices?”

Liam was about to protest any form of payment before Harry interrupted him “Actually Louis, you studied photography right?” Nodding his head and placing his cup of tea down on the table he spoke “Yeah, I graduated with a 1:1. Not to blow my own trumpet or summat but i'm actually not too shabby.”

“Perfect well, could you take some photos for us? I really want to set up a social media account, but neither Liam or I are too good at photography. Just like, we could set a date and you could pick up the cakes and then have a little photography shoot?”

Louis stayed quiet for a hot minute. He hadn't come to visit in the last month for fear of running into Nathan, and like, yeah he was on friendly terms with Harry and Liam but they weren't exactly friends. They didn’t even have each other’s numbers. Harry sensed the hesitation Louis was feeling. “Like it’s fine if not, it was just an idea…”

Louis shook his head, “No, no like I would love to. I just um, Im a bit funny being around this area after you know, like Nathan and-”

“Oh sorry, yeah of course, I could come to you? Like, put your number in my phone and we’ll figure out a date?” Harry locked his eyes with Louis’, searching for some kind of answer. Louis was squirming a little, clearly feeling a tad anxious after mentioning Nathan. He nodded though, and put his number into Harry’s phone. Brushing the donut crumbs off his thighs Louis stood up making his way to the door. “Well, thanks for that lads that will be a massive help to me...guess I’ll see you in a few days to take photos?”

“Don't forget your box of leftovers Louis, you’ve lost some weight, eat up.” Liam handed Louis the cardboard box, worry creasing into his forehead and pinched brows.

Louis scoffed at that and rolled his eyes “Why is everyone so obsessed with feeding me” He muttered under his breath walking out the bakery and down to a bus stop, making sure it was far from his old flat.

“Louis, what the fuck is your problem? Stop throwing your clothes all over the place, you look fine.” Zayn was sprawled on Louis’ bed, texting someone whilst Louis was frantically teariing apart his wardrobe trying to find something, anything that made him look decent. He didn’t know why he cared. It was only Harry coming round so he could take photos as a thank you for Zayn’s cake. They had decided Liam or Harry would be better dropping of the sweet treats on the day of Zayns actual birthday, which would be in a few days but Louis had insisted it was fine for him to still take those photos.

“Zayn I look like shit, and I don't really want to look like shit funnily enough” He stood in front of the mirror checking himself over. He had on obcenely tight white jeans that did nothing to hide the girth of his thick, wide thighs and left his tummy pooching over the waist band, thick love handles that were happily settled over his sides. These were jeans that he had held onto since uni, hoping he could get them over his arse one day, and he guessed today was that day. He had a soft sweater on that he had hoped would cover that extra flesh spilling out, it did a pretty good job in all fairness, but his tummy was still pressed up against the fabric.

He got carried away pinching and sighing at his figure. He was never happy with it, not when he was heavier, and not now. Zayn placed a hand on his shoulder softly looking at Louis. “You look great bebz. You cant deny those jeans do wonders for your legs and bum.” Louis nodded in agreement because Zayn was right. He did look alright in them. Not hot, but he looked okay he didnt look like utter shit at least.

“Want me to do your hair?” Nodding, Louis sat down on his bed whilst Zayn styled his soft fringe neatly acrosss his forhead. Louis had deceided to shave this morning, it had been a little odd at first seeing all his baby soft skin again, but it felt nice. Helped him feel more neat and put together. He was ignoring the voice in his head that was asking why he cared so much about his appearance all of a sudden. Like, it was literally just Harry. Just the tall hipster baker he had seen every morning and not thought twice about.

Why did he even care all of a sudden? Right. No. He didnt care. Didnt give a shit. All he was doing, was trying to pick himself up again and take care of looks.

With one last look in the mirror, almost satisfied he plops down on the couch waiting on Harry.

“So, why exactly are you so uptight? Like, I know you’re excited to have gotten a job but…” Louis squirmed a little and felt his cheeks flushing. He went over Zayns words in his head, he didn’t know why he was so hot and bothered, wanting to make a good impression on Harry. It was afterall, only Harry. The younger boy who worked in his favourite bakery who he had seen everyday for years. When Louis was with Nathan, he never looked twice at the boy. But the otherday when he was at the bakery he realised he had never noticed Harrys long lean figure, broad back, rounded biceps. He flushed a little thinking about it. But it’s not like anything was going to happen. Not when Louis still found himself wriggling in beside Zayn at night, waking up with puffy red eyes, swollen and sore from crying. Not when Harry was miles and miles out of his league. It was a teeny tiny crush. That’s all it was.

“I am not being uptight Zayn. I just want this to go well, like, it’s my first job y’know.” Zayn snorted and shook his head. “Here, Lou, you’ve managed to get chocolate on your face.” He swiped over the corner of Louis’ mouth rubbing away at the little piece of chocolate.

“Alright Curly? Come in, come in” Louis ushered Harry inside the flat, giving him a once over. Obscenely long legs made to look even longer in orange corduroy trousers, flowery blouse left unbuttoned to mid chest, not leaving much to Louis imagination. Realising he was being caught looking, Louis broke his gaze and looked up at Harry.

“So, Harry this is my mate Zayn, Zayn this is the bloke who works at that bakery, the one that has evidently ruined my waistline”

Zayn and Harry gave a soft chuckle at Louis depreciation, knowing it was his own way of hiding his insecurities.

“So, I’ve bought all the cakes, you got your photo gear?” Harry began unboxing the sugary treats, motioning towards them.

“Yeah yeah mate, I’ve got it all. You just tell me what kind of shots you’re looking for and I’m your man”

Louis blushed furiously after realising what he said. “Your man” I wish. Louis thought to himself. He does not have a crush on the man, not when he’s still hurting and knows fine well he is not the kind of guy Harry would go for. But still, he could appreciate an attractive man couldn’t he?

“Right mate, thats the last of the photos”

“Amazing, thank you so much Lou. Can’t wait to prove Liam wrong. These will do wonders for our sales”

Harry nudged his shoulder against Louis’ and gave him a dazzling smile before returning to flick through the photos.

“Hey mate, want to stay for dinner? I’ve just made Lou and I some pasta, there’s plenty for one more?”

“Zayn I’ve told you, I’m on a diet. I can’t eat pasta” Louis mumbled, cheeks burning red from

Embarrassment.

Zayn mouthed something at Harry that Louis couldn’t quite make out. Probably something about ignoring him because he’ll eat it anyway.

“That would be grand actually, I don’t have dinner planned so...” Louis caught Harry giving him a quick look, eyes looking a little sad and sympathetic. He squirmed under Harrys gaze, feeling self conscious, tugging down on his jumper. He felt like a bug under a microscope in that moment, wanting to hide away under baggy clothes and shrink into himself.

mumbling something about going to take a shower first Louis stood and let himself out the room. His feelings were all over the place at the moment. One day his heart would feel so broken and weary he could swear he would feel his heart strings tug and tear inside him. His insecurities and shame would bubble over and he wanted nothing more than to curl under his duvet for hours.. Other days, he had this new found confidence when he would wear whatever the hell he wanted, be loud, flamboyant, eat what made his cheeks flush with pleasure. And somedays he would go inbetween both. Today was one of those days.

It took a lot of effort to squeeze out of those jeans before climbing into to the shower. Why he ever thought he could look good in them was beyond him. He had to push his belly up to even get to the button, and he didn’t even want to think about the strength it took to pull both sides of the jeans together and get the button undone.

Louis came back into the kitchen in loose sweats and the baggiest jumper he could find. Silently, he slid into his chair at the table and was met with a bowl of creamy pasta. He opened his mouth to protest about the dish, but Zayn got there first shooting him a glare of warning.

“Eat.” He said simply, and Louis abided to this, pushing the pasta round with his folk, only bringing it to his mouth every few minutes.

Zayn and Harry made friendly conversation that Louis only half listened to, not contributing to the conversation unless he was directly asked a question.

“Bebz, come on. Eat up, this isn’t healthy” Zayn scooped pasta onto Louis fork and held it up to his mouth, coaxing him to take a bite. But Louis just pushed the fork away, trying not to snap. He knew Zayn was trying to help but it was honestly just embarrassing in front of Harry.

“Leave it Z. I’ll eat later. Listen, Harry mate, thanks for coming over, let me know what time you’ll bring those cakes by tomorrow. I’m going to head to bed.” Before anyone could answer him Louis scurried off to let his tears fall.

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