#youwerealwaysmysecret

[youwerealwaysmysecret]

TLH Characters and Textposts that match them 🙈

Alastair:

Lucie:

Thomas in Paris 1902:

Matthew:

James in this snippet (and all of coi):

Matthew at all hours of the day:

Anna in denial about Ariadne:

Thomastair ❤️:

Lucie (just wants to hear it out of Jesse’s mouth):

Alastair:

Thomas:

Christopher:

#alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #I DONT THINK ALASTAIR IS TOXIC IN THE SLIGHTEST IM HIS BIGGEST SUPPORTER HE COULD MURDER SOMEONE AND ID DEFEND HIM but the post was too good #to pass up #the soft spot part is so so true tom is his favv #matthew isnt my favorite but hes iconic so many posts suit him #ariadne bridgestock #christopher lightwood #james herondale #anna lightwood #matthew fairchild #yes thats in order of my favorites ;) #chain of thorns #chain of iron #textposts #youwerealwaysmysecret

[rinadragomir]

𝐓𝐒𝐂 𝐁𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐎: 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐀𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐑𝐎𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐑𝐒 (𝐁𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐎𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐅𝐋𝐈𝐑𝐓)

Don’t repost please

Give credits if you create something similiar

Im James btw ^_^

@magnus-the-maqnificent @axoloteca @radisv  @lescahiersdesable @my-archerboy  @thestarkster1465  @delightfullyterrible @elettralightwood @awecwightwood @dustandducks  @thewolfnephilim  @lucie-blackthorns  @icycoolslushie  @mxtthew-fxirchild-apologist @potato-jem  @lily-chen-supremacy @larkace  @lenina-huntress  @afloralrib @vierss-herondale @ninetthorn  @jaxlightstairs @coriia  @spacehero-23 @tea-and-a-clandestine-agenda @ibrushmyteeth-donttellanyone @queenhelenblackthorn @roseofthomas @luciehercndale @make-me-ur-aphrodite @tys-kitty @gayforcarstairsgirls @daydreamxr17 @all-for-the-fanfiction @youwerealwaysmysecret @herondaisyqueen @goldenjellyfish12 @boredfangirl16 @what-ho-christopher-put-in

#rina dragomir edits #tlh #the last hours #chot #chain of thorns #cassandra clare #tsc #james herondale #cordelia carstairs #lucie herondale #matthew fairchild #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #anna lightwood #ari bridgestock #jesse blackthorn

[alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer]

*chanting to myself* be strong be strong be strong

this is literally just my whole dash maybe I should log off @sheisbeautyweareworldass @lifewouldbebetteronmars @youwerealwaysmysecret

#tlh #the last hours #alastair carstairs

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 20/Epilogue

Summer 1908; Paris

Little Jasper Carstairs was running around the halls of his brother’s home, gigging and squealing as he went.

He was being chased by his brother’s partner, Thomas Lightwood, who was currently the tagger in their little game.

“You can’t catch me, Tommy! I’m going way too fast for you!” he called out, looking behind him to see if Thomas had indeed caught up with him.

He laughed gleefully when he realized that he had indeed outrun him. But his joy was short-lived as a pair of arms scooped him up.

It was his older brother, Alastair, who was looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

“Dadash! Quick! You have to hide me from Tommy!”

“And why should I do that?”

“Because I want to win at tag!”

Alastair had a questioning look on his face and Jasper began to pout. “I don’t know. That doesn’t seem like a good enough reason for me to help you.”

“Please, Lassie, please!”

Alastair was about to respond but was interrupting by two muscular arms wrapping around his waist and lifting the two of them up. Jasper giggled as it happened.

“I caught you, Jasper! And your brother, too.” Thomas pressed a kiss to Alastair cheek, causing the latter to roll his eyes.

“Put us down, you idiot. Dinner is almost ready and both of you need to wash your hands.”

Thomas looked at Alastair with faux-shocked look. “We aren’t that dirty, darling! Tell him, Jasper.”

“Yeah, dadash! We aren’t dirty at all!”

“You still need to wash your hands, both of you.” Alastair said with a bit of finality, so neither one would question it.

Thomas put both of them down with a sigh, Jasper automatically running to the sink to wash his hands. He turned to his lover with a smirk on his face, leaning down to kiss him.

“I love you, Alastair Jahan Verlac Lightwood-Carstairs.” he whispered in his ear.

Alastair smiled, happier than he had been in a long time. “And I love you, Thomas Gideon Lightwood-Carstairs.”

The end.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It started as a oneshot, but here we are, two years and twenty chapters later!

It’s finally the end, you guys!!! Thank you to everyone who has been here from the beginning and has stuck through to the end. Seriously, you guys deserve the senior discount for this blog-

But anyways, thank for you for supporting me as I wrote my first multi-chapter fic! It’s been a long journey but it’s finally over!

Tag List

@youwerealwaysmysecret

@styxdrawings

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@kit-herondale-blackthorn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@lovelaces

@interestingdork

@doitforthecarstairs

@crispynun

@littlx-songbxrd

@regalremedy

@lightwoodmiau

@buttcrflys-rose

@life-through-the-eyes-of

@fatilightwood

@melanielocke

@have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

@cant-think-of-anything

@tessherongraystairs

@wagner-fell

#castle towers fall #the last hours #ceo of the first alastair verlac fic #alastair carstairs #the alastair verlac theory #alastair verlac #baby carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair

[bemtevis]

hiiiii can you do ariadne in #82 "be still"? lyyy ♥

of course!! hope you like this 💖💖

from this challenge. requests closed!

fanart taglist in the notes. let me know if you want to be added or removed!

#kamala joshi #the last hours #the shadowhunter chronicles #tsc #tlh #my creations #my art #art challenge #ariadne bridgestock #coi spoilers #mutuals #anwered #youwerealwaysmysecret

[cassandraclare]

Chain of Iron questions/answers — spoilers!

Questions and answers under the cut!

flowerfrogbaby said: Hi Cassie, first of all, thank you so much for all that you do, your books mean so so much to me💜💜 I have so many questions! Just gonna fire them off: Why did James tell Cordelia that he would never feel about her like he felt about Grace? That seems like it was bound to lead to a miscommunication. Also I noticed your and Rick Riordan’s matching dedications and I loved it ;)

Well, to be fair, James didn't say "I will never feel about you the way I felt about Grace." He says "I do not feel about you at all as I feel about Grace. How I ever felt about Grace." And he said he because he meant it. He is just, himself, coming to terms with his actual feelings about Grace, and his actual feelings about Cordelia. He is feeling his way through them, even as he's speaking. He realizes immediately that he's said the wrong thing, and everything would have been fine had he not been interrupted by Grace at the door, something he could not have predicted.

Miscommunications occur all the time, especially between people keeping secrets from each other. We don't always know what impact our words will have, nor do we have the foresight to construct them perfectly. If we did, miscommunications wouldn't happen, but they do. ;)

youwerealwaysmysecret said: COI felt like a fever dream tbh, I read it wayy too fast, I need to go back and reread, so forgive me if this was already answered but will Elias's debts roll onto Sona and Alastair? p.s. i LOVED alastair's persian name!

No, his debts will die with him. Fortunately.

grace--blackthorn said: Just a little question, since I'm currently reading the book: who taught Jesse French?

In the 19th century and on into the Edwardian era, learning French was considered part of a basic education. It was the diplomatic language, the international language everyone spoke (in Europe, anyway — the nobility of Russia spoke French among themselves, for instance.) He would have learned it before he "died."

beyondtheirscene said: Hi Cassie! I just wanted you to know you're one of my absolute favourite authors and i think i fall more in love with the Shadowhunter series every time i read a new book! I was wondering if we'll find out what happened between Alastair and Charles at the end of COI and if this will change their dynamic at all going into Chain of thorns? especially with Grace's power being known now.

Well, for the moment, Grace's power is known by quite a limited number of people. :) We will indeed find out what happens/happened with Alastair and Charles at the end of COI. And I think their dynamic has been something that has been in the process of changing.

cordeliakatayoun said: will we ever find out what the secret of the necklace james gave to cordelia is??

Yes indeed!

#tsc #the last hours #cordelia carstairs #chain of iron #spoilers

[youwerealwaysmysecret]

What if the message doesn’t go to Alastair?

they say that their letters never go to their intended destination, what if it goes to Matthew or someone else?

None of the later Thomastair snippets (carriage/institute) mention or hint at Alastair having read the letter or Tom being scared he did- 

maybe they were cut out BUT WE HAVE TO OPEN THE POSSIBILITY OF IT GOING TO ANOTHER PERSON AND THEN TOM HAS TO EXPLAIN TO THEM FIRST 

#chain of thorns spoilers #cot spoilers #chot spoilers #chain of thorns #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #christopher lightwood #matthew fairchild #hehehe yes i used someone elses screenshot bc im lazyy sorry #youwerealwaysmysecret

[youwerealwaysmysecret]

⚠️CHOT SPOILERS⚠️ What if Charles is talking to Alastair about being blackmailed?

I am 99% sure it’s Charles being blackmailed about being gay, and the only person he can confide in would be Alastair.

I genuinely don’t think Alastair would willingly visit Charles just because he was stabbed a few days ago (or feed him grapes🤭), especially after their Chain of Iron interactions. He must be helping him figure out what to do, since he probably feels tied to the situation. Maybe some gay solidarity, who knows 🤷

And the carriage snippet is definitely AFTER Tom finds out about the blackmailing, since he says, “Are you upset about Charles?” AWWW HE ALWAYS CARES ABOUT ALASTAIR’S FEELINGS IN ANY SITUATION

PLUS during the Institute scene Tom starts to ask about Alastair and Charles’ relationship, so Alastair might tell him whats going on-

tagging a couple of mutuals, lemme know if u wanna be removed! <3

@rinadragomir @shadowharu182 @tys-kitty @queenhelenblackthorn​ @carstairs-supremacy

#chain of thorns spoilers #chain of thorns #alastair carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair #charles fairchild #Chain of Iron #matthew fairchild #youwerealwaysmysecret #kiatalks

[rinadragomir]

Warlocks tag game!

Turned out im Ragnor🐍

Choose your warlock and tag friends who would also like to play!

 @vashs-posts​ @larkace @casualsthings @lenina-huntress @babbling-brook-of-books @spacehero-23 @tys-kitty @elettralightwood @carelessflower @roseblxshvision @vierss-herondale @potato-jem @one-fond-mortal @alastairisgay @hope92100 @dustandducks @kitsnickett @lescahiersdesable @delightfullyterrible @fantasticcolorcloudflap @15-dozen-ros3s @bookishjules @learningshelfcontrol @literallytypogod @thestarkster1465 @myangelbach @emmablackstairs13 @zoya-nikolai @clockworkbee @raziyekroos @winterdollsblog @totalbookmaniac @chibi-tsukiko @drunkonimagination @theresaherondalecarstairss @youwerealwaysmysecret @lucie-blackthorns @my-archerboy @magnus-the-maqnificent @necromancerlucie

#rina dragomir games #tsc #catarina loss #tessa gray #magnus bane #ragnor fell #cassandra clare #tmi #tda #tid #tlh #sobh

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 19

March 1904; Cirenworth

It had been two months since Jasper had been born. And two months since Alastair’s mother had died, but no one wanted to mention that.

And now Alastair had decided to move Jasper and himself to Cirenworth, determined to fix it up and make it a home for the two of them. He had informed Thomas of his plans, not really giving him a choice in the matter.

Which lead to now, Thomas was standing in front of the door to Cirenworth, taking a deep breath and attempting to steady himself before he just walked in and turned everyone’s lives upside down.

Or at least he hoped he wouldn’t.

For all he knows, Alastair might not even like a big gesture like this. He might hate it and send him back to London without a second thought.

And just as he was about to talk himself out of it and change his mind, a familiar voice called out his name.

“Tom?” It was Alastair, coming out from the garden with a baby buggy. He had a confused look on his face and a single eyebrow raised, making Thomas start to flush with having been caught. “What are you doing here?”

“I,um…” he swallowed his nerves and started on his speech. “I’m here to ask if I can court you-”

Alastair interrupted him. “Excuse me? Court me? Thomas, you must be joking.”

“I’m serious. Now, can I please continue?”

“No. Why me? Why not anyone else?”

“Because…because you’re Alastair Jahan Carstairs. Or Verlac, or Turan, or whatever it is you want your last name to be. I don’t care because I’m in love with you and I want to court you because that’s what you deserve.” Thomas couldn’t believe that he had said any of that out loud. Much less to Alastair himself.

The man in question seemed a bit skeptical. “Really? And what happens when you grow tired of me and this life? Do you really want to risk it all for me? I’m not worth it.”

“Yes, you are. You’re worth it to me.”

“And what about Jasper then? You’re eighteen, you don’t need to worry about playing parent to a child that isn’t even yours.”

“And you’re nineteen doing the same thing.”

Alastair scowled at him, but Thomas knew he didn’t really mean it. He was just running out of excuses to turn him down.

“I want to try, Alas. Please let me try.”

He walked over to Alastair and caressed his cheek with his hand. Alastair leaned into his touch. “Please let me try.” Thomas whispered to him, putting their foreheads together.

“Okay. Let’s try.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay one more chapter to go! I’m literally going to start crying-

Tag List

@youwerealwaysmysecret

@styxdrawings

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@kit-herondale-blackthorn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@lovelaces

@interestingdork

@doitforthecarstairs

@crispynun

@littlx-songbxrd

@regalremedy

@lightwoodmiau

@buttcrflys-rose

@life-through-the-eyes-of

@fatilightwood

@melanielocke

@have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

@cant-think-of-anything

@tessherongraystairs

@wagner-fell

#castle towers fall #the last hours #the alastair verlac theory #ceo of the first alastair verlac fic #alastair carstairs #alastair verlac #thomas lightwood #thomastair

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 18

One Week Later…

Alastair looked down at his baby brother, who was sleeping peacefully in his bassinet, completely unaware of everything that had happened surrounding his birth.

He was an innocent being, untouched by the trauma that Alastair had endured during his childhood. He gurgled a bit in his sleep, a small smile lighting up his face.

Alastair couldn’t help but feel envious of him. Asleep without a care in the world, not knowing the feeling of a heavy burden weighing down on his shoulders. And Alastair would make sure it stayed that way for him, no matter what it takes.

“He needs a name. We can’t just call him dadash forever.” A voice said from behind him. Cordelia.

She was leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed against her chest with a small smile on her face.

“I have an idea for a name.”

“Oh really, do tell?”

Alastair picked their brother up out of his bassinet and faced him toward Cordelia. “Jasper Theodor Carstairs. Bringer of treasure, gift of God. A perfect name for a Carstairs boy. Fitting, don’t you think?”

Cordelia took Jasper from Alastair’s arms and smiled. “Welcome to our family, Jasper. You’ll love it here.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*dance music starts playing* Guess who’s back? Back again!

It’s short but sweet and I love it

Tag List

@youwerealwaysmysecret

@styxdrawings

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@kit-herondale-blackthorn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@lovelaces

@interestingdork

@doitforthecarstairs

@crispynun

@littlx-songbxrd

@regalremedy

@lightwoodmiau

@buttcrflys-rose

@life-through-the-eyes-of

@fatilightwood

@melanielocke

@have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

@cant-think-of-anything

@tessherongraystairs

@wagner-fell

#castle towers fall #ceo of the first alastair verlac fic #the last hours #alastair carstairs #alastair verlac #alastair verlac fic #cordelia carstairs #baby carstairs #thomas lightwood #thomastair

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 13 *Major Angst Warning* *Fluff Warning* *Trigger Warning: Talk of Abuse, Alcoholism*

January 1904; Silent City

“It all started when I married Theodor. It was perfect.” Sona said in a dreamy tone as she looked at her oldest son.

Oh, how he looked so much like her Theodor, it was almost like seeing a memory come to life.

“I loved him Alastair, he was my first love. And he loved me too. You are so much like him that sometimes I forget that he isn’t here anymore.”

Alastair was still silent, his eyes still looking down at his lap. “What happened to Theodor, Mâmân?” he nearly whispered, as if he was scared to know the answer. Sona took a deep breath before answering.

“As you know, he died. It was sudden. I remember that night and I always will, until the day I take my last breath. We went to bed together one night and when I woke up the next morning, he was dead in bed beside me,”

She was cut off by a small gasp coming from Alastair. He had moved one of his hands to clutch one of hers, like he had done when he was small and held onto to her skirts when he was feeling particularly shy.

But still, Sona continued on with her story.

“They didn’t know what happened to him. The Clave said it was natural causes. He was fine before we went to bed. He had been fine. But the people in Paris didn’t believe me, they said I had to be lying, because I was a foreigner. They said I had to have poisoned him, but I didn’t. Nobody cared about my side in it. Which is why I went back to Persia. I couldn’t handle the whispers any longer.

“I didn’t know I was pregnant when I met your fa-Elias. I met him when I got back to Tehran. I know you don’t remember Elias before, Alastair, but he was different. Softer, kinder, less cold. He was much better at hiding his drinking back then, and I fell in love with him. Or at least I thought I did-”

Alastair cut her off by removing his hand from hers. “Why did you marry him? If you loved Theodor?”

For a second, Sona didn’t know how to answer. She’d never really asked herself that question, she never thought about it. She married him because he proposed and she said yes, that meant they had to get married. Her family hadn’t approved of Elias-or Theodor, for that matter-but she had done it anyway.

But she still didn’t know why.

“I don’t know, joon. I don’t have an explanation as to why. I wish I did so I could tell you. But I don’t. I found out I was pregnant just after the wedding, it had been barely three months since Theodor’s death, so I assumed you were a Carstairs not a Verlac. But then you were born and you looked so familiar, but I couldn’t place it then. I didn’t place it until you were fourteen.”

“When Cortana chose Cordelia instead of me?” Alastair whispered, he had started to pick at his skin, and his eyes were focused on that instead of her.

Sona nodded. “Yes.”

“Does anyone else know?”

“No. Risa suspects, but nobody besides you and Cordelia.”

“Elias knew.”

“What?” Sona was confused, Elias had never known to her knowledge. And if he suspected, he certainly hadn’t told her.

“He taunted me about it that last night. He said I couldn’t possibly had been his son, that I was too weak, that you had lied to him.”

“Oh, Alastair. None of this should’ve ever happened. There are only two things I don’t regret about my marriage to Elias and that is your sister and brother. I have so many regrets and many of them involve you. I am sorry, Alastair. I am sorry for letting you go through that for so long with Elias. I am your mother, I never should’ve let it happen.” Sona opened her arms for her son so she could hold him. But he got up off of the bed.

“Mâmân, it should’ve never even continued after the first time. It should have stopped the first time I dragged him home drunk from a bar in Devon. It should have stopped the first time he hit me when he was drunk. But it didn’t. You were supposed to protect me but you chose to protect Cordelia. You didn’t protect me.”

Her son looked so sad, so broken. His dark eyes were filled with tears that were threatening to spill. She had caused his pain and continued to let his pain worsen, when she could’ve stopped it.

He turned to look at her one last time before he slammed the door shut and left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m back!!!!

It’s been months since I posted a chapter!!! I originally planned my hiatus to last until my birthday in April (nearly six months ago), that didn’t work end up working out but here it is!

Tag List:

@youwerealwaysmysecret

@styxdrawings

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@kit-herondale-blackthorn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@lovelaces

@interestingdork

@doitforthecarstairs

@crispynun

@littlx-songbxrd

@regalremedy

@lightwoodmiau

@clarys-heosphoros

@alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1

@fatilightwood

Note: If you were on the tag list and changed your URL, please tell me

#castle towers fall #the last hours #the last hours fic #alastair carstairs #alastair verlac #alastair carstairs fic #alastair is a verlac fic #ceo of the first alastair verlac fic #sona carstairs #theodor verlac

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Happy first birthday to Castle Towers Fall!!! This fic is my baby and I love it so much 🥳🥳🥳

Not Angstmas

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 16 *TW MENTIONS OF PANIC ATTACKS*

It took a few minutes for Alastair’s breathing to even-out again and when it did, the look on his face broke Thomas’s heart.

His dark eyes were glassy and tears were making his long eyelashes stick together, his tear-stained cheeks slightly reddened. Alastair was shivering in the cold, he was shockingly jacket-less, for someone who constantly nagged him for not wearing proper clothing; he could be such a hypocrite.

And Thomas says that in the most loving way possible, obviously.

“Alastair,” he was whispering, he didn’t know why, but it fit the atmosphere for the moment. “do you want to talk about what happened?”

“I hate him.”

Thomas was shocked that Alastair had responded, he’d been expecting to have to coax him into speaking, if he even would at all.

“Who? Who do you hate?”

“Elias. Theodor. Both of my fathers. Even if I never really knew them. It’s pathetic of me to hate them, isn’t it?” Alastair questioned, looking at him with eyes brimming with tears.

“Oh, my darling, my love.” Thomas reached over and pulled Alastair to rest against his chest as he sobbed. “It’s not pathetic, not at all. You’re allowed to feel this way, love. You’re allowed to hate them.”

They sat there, Alastair in Thomas’s lap while he whispered sweet nothings into his ear, in an attempt to comfort the still-shaking boy.

Eventually, Alastair sat up and hugged Thomas tightly, whispering in his ear:

“Thank you.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

@youwerealwaysmysecret

@styxdrawings

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@kit-herondale-blackthorn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@interestingdork

@crispynun

@littlx-songbxrd

@lightwoodmiau

@life-through-the-eyes-of

@fatilightwood

@melanielocke

@writeordie-4

@have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

@cant-think-of-anything

#castle towers fall #the last hours #alastair carstairs #alastair carstairs fic #alastair verlac #alastair verlac fic #ceo of the first alastair verlac fic #thomas lightwood #thomastair

[rinadragomir]

I canceled a meeting with my friends because I had important things to do: eat a cake with sour cream and make this game! And I couldn’t decide for 40 minutes which princesses I should choose for this game, so I didn’t choose at all.

The rules of the game are very simple: choose the 3 princesses you most resemble 🌷

@youngreckless @cordelia-cardale @runecarstairs   @too-many-aspirations @magnus-the-maqnificent @adoravel-fenomeno @stxr-thxif @khaleesiofalicante @reyna-herondale @mariflorenceisabella  @thereadinglemon   @quillify-tries-to-talk  @reyna-morozova @dustandshadowsdtj   @dontcallmeashlynn @livvyheronstairs @styxdrawings @tamaraheartz  @bombing-daisies @genyxasafin  @tscfangirl-blackstairs @youwerealwaysmysecret @lunar-mensis @lydias-library @dreamofmysoul-tsc @delilahssbard @shadowhuntertrash @kamalajoshi @axoloteca @livvyslocket @ceoazula @im-a-certifiable-mess @silvenys @starlordsraptorsquad @judeduarteismypresident @thehotfaeriethreesome @theresaherondalecarstairss @wearingwhitetoafuneral  @christopherslemontarts @herondale-lightwood-blackthorn @drxillablxckthxrn @iratzeforabrokenheart @blackpheonix @seducemewithyourbookcollection @annealves @sleptite @racheloka @gherondale @cigarettesandpipedreams

#rina dragomir edits #tag game #disney #disney prinesses #disney princess

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 14 *Angst Warning* *TW Blood*

Cordelia sat down in a chair with her baby brother and held him in her arms. He was sleeping now and she envies him.

She envies him for his world not being shaken up like hers just was. She envies him for being able to sleep as the drama started to unfold. He doesn’t understand what’s happening right now. That their older brother, isn’t really their older brother.

But that’s crazy because Alastair is her brother. He will always be her big brother who has protected her since the beginning. She can’t see him any other way, she wants to say it doesn’t matter that they have different fathers and that their mother lied to them for years. But she can’t.

Cordelia just wants to pretend that she didn’t hear her mother say they don’t have the same father, but how can she?

So she envies her baby brother for not understanding this, for not understanding that her world just came crashing down.

And Alastair’s did too.

Oh poor Alastair, oh her poor dâdâsh. He didn’t deserve this. Out of everyone, he didn’t deserve this to happen to him.

“Cordelia?” Cordelia turned toward the voice to see Thomas Lightwood.

“What are you doing here?” she asks quietly, trying not to wake the baby.

Thomas shrugged and sat down next to her. “I hope I’m not intruding, but I came to make sure every one was alright, Alastair didn’t look too good when you left earlier. Neither did you to be frank. Is everything alright?”

Cordelia didn’t particularly know how to answer that. It wouldn’t be fair to drag Thomas into her family’s drama. And she was sure Alastair wouldn’t want that.

“Yes. Alastair and our mother are just having a chat, which means I get to bond more with our baby brother. Alastair’s going to be so jealous.”

She tried to make her voice sound upbeat, but she knew she had failed by the look on Thomas’s face. But he didn’t mention it and just continued talking like normal.

“Does he have a name?” he said, looking down at the baby.

Cordelia shrugged. “Not yet. Mâmân hasn’t told us yet what she’s had in mind.”

“He’s kind of looks like Alastair.”

Thomas let out a small laugh when the baby smiled in his sleep.

“That he does. Luckily Alastair was adorable as a child. If he wasn’t, that would be an insult.”

“I don’t think I would believe you if you told me Alastair wasn’t cute as a child, he’s the kind of person who’s always looked cute, even-” he was blushing as he slapped a hand over his mouth. “I mean-”

Cordelia interrupted him. “It’s fine. I won’t tell anyone. And you do realize I saw you two in the library today, I’m not blind.” 

He blushed even redder at that, the red flush spreading from the tips of his ears and down his neck.

She continued on, in spite of his embarrassment. “And I think you’d be a good match for my brother. Providing that you don’t hurt him like his last lover did, Cortana and I would have a field day with you if you treat him badly. Not to mention Risa, she definitely wouldn’t like it either.”

Thomas gulped at her threat and nodded slowly.

“I promise that I have no intention of hurting Alastair. Not more than I already have, anyway.”

I would rather you hadn’t hurt him at all. She thought to herself. Cordelia didn’t know what exactly between Alastair and the Merry Thieves, but she knew that she didn’t like the way they had been treating her brother.

“Good because you’re one of James’s friends and I don’t fancy hurti-Alastair?!?”

She was cut off by her brother running from their mother’s room in near-tears. It seemed his fight-or-flight instinct had kicked in, this time in flight.

What happened in their mother’s room? Did he not like what he heard?

“Alastair! Dâdâsh, wait!” she said and almost ran out after him, nearly forgetting she had the baby until he squirmed at the sudden movement.

She turned to Thomas. “Do you mind holding the baby while I go find Alastair?”

“Of course not.” She was about to shift the baby into Thomas’s arms when the voice of her cousin Jem-Brother Zachariah-started to ring through her head.

Cordelia, your mother needs you. She wants you in her room, immediately. She was sure that if his face could show emotion, her cousin’s face would be twisted in concern.

Cordelia looked around, distraught and torn between the two problems at hand. Should she go to her mother? Or go and find her brother?

“Cordelia, go. Your mother needs you, it must be important. I’ll go find Alastair.” Thomas placed a hand on her shoulder and smiled reassuringly.

She nodded at him and he turned in the direction Alastair had ran in, he couldn’t have gone far, she thought. He wouldn’t leave in a time like this.

But she pushed that thought out of her mind, as she started to follow her cousin back to her mother’s room. Cordelia walked in to see Risa trying to comfort her mother who was sobbing and breathing heavily, her skin noticeably paler.

“Risa? Mâmân? What’s going on?”

And that was when she saw the blood staining her mother’s sheets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dun…dun…dun!!!!

Seriously guys don’t kill me

Tagging

@youwerealwaysmysecret

@styxdrawings

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@kit-herondale-blackthorrn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@lovelaces

@interestingdork

@doitforthecarstairs

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Okay reminder, if you’re on the tag list and you change your URL, let me know

#castle towers fall #the last hours #alastair carstairs #cordelia carstairs #sona carstairs #baby carstairs #alastair verlac #ceo of the first alastair verlac fic #tw blood #thomas lightwood

[lifewouldbebetteronmars]

Castle Towers Fall

Chapter 15 *Angst Warning* *TW PTSD, Panic Attacks, Mentions of Abuse* *Mentions of El*as Carstairs*

Alastair felt like he couldn’t breathe. It physically pained him to breath. Why did it have to hurt so much?

He wanted to be prepared for what his mother was going to say. He wanted her to say things about his biological father, how he was better than Elias, that he would’ve loved him.

But she didn’t.

She went on and on about Elias and how bad she felt for putting them through that. Putting him through that.

And she kept saying how good Elias had been in the beginning. How it wasn’t so bad, that he was a good father, better than he was later.

What a load of bullshit.

Maybe it was true, just maybe. But the Elias she had known wasn’t the same one he had known, same with Cordelia.

The Elias he knew was the one he dragged home drunk every night from the age of ten. The Elias he knew who would hit him on nights when the alcohol fueled his anger, rather than soothe it.

But to his mother, that was the same Elias she met and fell in love with. The father of two of her children. She couldn’t hate him and they both knew that. She couldn’t hate the man who gave her two of the best things in her life.

That Elias was the Baba to his sister, who read her storybooks and played games in the garden with her. The father who was always sick, but was amazing when he felt better.

Elias was nothing to the baby. He was merely someone who contributed half of his genes to him. But there was no doubt that he would be something to the baby. From stories told by Cordelia and his mother, this baby would never know the horribleness of his father.

Alastair would never be able to escape him. And that thought made the pain in his chest blossom farther down.

He felt like he was drowning.

Nobody could save him when he was ten years old and no one could do it now.

He wanted to scream and cry and he wanted it all to stop hurting all at the same time.

Why did it have to hurt so much? It was the only clear thought he had in his mind, everything else was garbled gibberish, all mixed up together as they raced and ran as fast as they could.

He slumped against a wall somewhere in the Silent City, he didn’t even know how far he’d ran at this point. He just wanted to get as far away as possible from his mother before he said anything else he’d regret. 

His legs were so tired from all the running, his whole body was tired. His brain was tired.

He just wanted everything to stop. He didn’t even care if it was for five minutes, he just wanted everything to stop.

He wanted the pain in his chest to go away, he wanted to breath again, but right now it seemed impossible.

“Alastair?” He heard his name being called but it was muffled, like his head was under water:

“Alastair? Can you hear me?”

Yes, I can, is what he wanted to say, but his mouth couldn’t form the words.

“Alastair, it’s Thomas. Can you hear me? Please answer me.”

It’s Thomas, why was he here?

Tom, he tried to say, he wanted to scream.

Why couldn’t he speak?

He could see Thomas’s mouth start to move, but he could barely hear him.

“Alastair, I need you to breath with me, okay? In and out.” Thomas placed Alastair’s hand on his chest. “Follow my breathing.”

In and out…

In and out…

In and out…

He could do this, he just needed to breath.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Blame Ly, she started the angst war @thomas-thedavid-lightwood

Tag List

@youwerealwaysmysecret

@styxdrawings

@imchaotic-dontmindme

@devikaontheoffbeat

@banescrown

@kit-herondale-blackthorn

@fantasy-rep

@king1pin

@the-come-n-stare-family

@lovelaces

@interestingdork

@doitforthecarstairs

@crispynun

@littlx-songbxrd

@regalremedy

@lightwoodmiau

@buttcrflys-rose

@alastair-esfandiyar-carstairs1

@fatilightwood

@melanielocke

@writeordie-4

@thomas-thedavid-lightwood

#castle towers fall #the last hours #alastair carstairs #alastair verlac #ceo of the first alastair verlac fic #tw ptsd #tw panic attack #tw mentions of abuse #tw elias carstairs #anti elias carstairs #angst wars