#you dont have to stop consuming content you just gotta think about what content youre consuming and why

[snekdood]

"Narcissistic abuse" vs NPD

Hey guys, i feel like I need to talk about something, if only because i was one of those ppl who ended up watching a lot of videos about "narcissistic abuse" which demonized tf out of ppl with NPD so now i feel a moral obligation to do something, whatever that may be. So I guess this is one of my attempts to do something.

Because im someone who ended up watching a lot of those videos, it really forged my perceptions of people with NPD, but i think theres an important distinction here to be made. I do personally feel like narcissistic abuse exists, but i dont think it exists *only* within the realm of people with npd as a lot of these videos and articles suggest. I think just about anyone can engage in narcissistic abuse because the point is the abuse is incredibly selfish and self centered on part of the abuser. I dont think it has to be connected with people with NPD and the only connection is made with the similar names, so maybe we need to come up with a new term for it, because ive personally found a lot of value out of those videos, it helped explain to me what was going on, the way people abused me, the way their mind worked, what they were likely to do, etc. And has pretty much been on the nose. I dont think multiple videos like this would exist if there wasnt a common experience. I just dont think its something people with npd exclusively do like a lot of these videos suggest. Im like 90% sure one of my bullies abused me this way, would do anything to maintain their social standing and keep me on the bottom, but i do not believe that person has npd and it wouldnt be fair for me to diagnose that person anyways because i barely know anything about that person personally.

Part of the reason these videos kinda revealed to me its not just an npd thing is the fact that they kept having to come up with new, scarier words for ppl with npd. Like "the dark triad" or whatever because the realization that their trauma is the reason they act the way they do makes the victim upset and not want to have to sympathize, which is understandable, but its not healthy and it means they have to make it sound like its something more extreme to have a justification for essentially wanting that person to be kicked off the planet, which i can understand why an abuse victim might feel that way, i just dont think its helpful to shunt all the responsibility on to ppl with npd and obviously that abuse victim needs to be more practical, empathetic and realistic because you cant control other people and you're likely to not actually do anything to your abuser to get revenge, so sitting here seething in your contempt does nothing but hurt you long term while your abuser has essentially forgotten you exist. But i digress.

The biggest issue with these videos is the name of the abuse and the association with ppl with npd, because theres many reasons why people would want to keep their social position outside of an extremely insecure sense of self or whatever tf. The other issue with these videos is the huge demonization and misunderstanding about people with npd. The idea that theyre all abusive, that they cant change, that they hold every Bad diagnostic criteria and it makes them *evil* or whatever tf. The way people talk about ppl with npd in those videos is pretty horrendous actually. It gets to a point where you wonder if the person posting the video wants to essentially genocide ppl with npd, which i think is kinda fuckin crazy ngl, i dont think thats a solution nor do i think all ppl with npd are such a huge problem that we need to get rid of them or exile them from society or whatever tf. Ppl with npd more than anything need therapy of some sort, and these videos 100% can talk about this form of abuse without throwing ppl with npd under the bus every 5 seconds.

I know people dismiss this as just "any kind of abuse" but i really dont think it is, its a really specific, insidious type of abuse where someone will do anything to maintain their position, they will toss away all their morals bc maintaining that position is the most important thing to them. They are people who are very driven by their ego, and anyone can be driven by their ego, so no, its not just an npd thing. Theres other forms of abuse that arent driven by a need to maintain their social position, so also no, its not all the same and i dont think it should all be labeled as general abuse, because the trauma this can cause is notable and having a space to talk with people who've had similar experiences is really important and helpful. We just gotta stop demonizing ppl with npd since its very much not their sole issue, nor would i say its a guarantee ppl with npd will treat you that way, and its pretty toxic to assume that, especially since ppl without npd routinely engage in this form of abuse. I dont believe theres truly any justification for ostracizing and wanting to essentially kill off an entire group of people and ppl should stop trying to find excuses to do so.

Anyways, thing i wanted to say and have been thinking about for a while has been said, you may proceed with whatever judgements you seemingly endlessly have about me.

#narcissistic abuse #npd #also uh... i think we gotta be not so judgemental about ppl who have consumed that content bc theyre going off of what they were told. #those videos make a point of you apparently not needing the nuanced understanding of your abuser so ppl naturally dont look up the sad or #sympathetic parts of ppl with npd. #and bc those videos see narcissistic abuse and npd as essentially two sides of the same coin theres just a lot of confusion for the ppl #consuming those videos. the onus is on the ppl vreating that content to actually educate themselves and stop demonizing and generalizing an #entire population of people. #anyways yeh #my phone kept trying to write nod like every time i wrote npd. omg it just did it too. im so upset i hate my phone shsjkssk

[whumpitisthen]

here's a quick rundown on astarion: gay vampire spawn (not a vampire. like a demo version vampire. a "lesser" one but don't let him hear that) who has been kept for 200 years by his master as a slave. guy (who was an actual vampire) carved him up, tortured him and forced him to lure victims into his manor. astarion has been abused in so many ways i'd hit some sort of character limit if i listed half of them. he was only allowed to feet on rats and small vermin in the sewers. poor little meow meow astarion is now free due to [game story] reasons and seeks power and revenge -- he's an edgy fuck with a lot of swag and no moral compass. bro is a menace and loves causing problems on purpose. [slight spoiler] he will literally try to suck some of your blood like a day or two after you meet him and unless you succeed a skill check he'll just keep doing it until you die. if you resurrect yourself afterwards he'll go like "ooooh ooopsie sowwy! i wouldn't kill you if i knew you'll be back teehee can we forget about this? ;) <3 don't fucking kill me". he's such a good fucking whumpee you don't even know. it's insane. i don't want to ramble but he's almost everything i've ever wanted from a character like this in a large scale rpg. [slightly bigger spoiler] despite being the go-to "fuckable" character who everyone finds hot as hell (both in-universe and online) he's HORRIBLY traumatized by his sexual experiences from when he used to be a slave and when you romance him a good portion of his storyline revolves around trying to make him realize that he's more than just a slab of very attractive meat. he hides his feelings behind a facade of "evil tumblr sexyman-esque" mannierisms and getting to finally peel it back and see him for the poor wet cat that he is is so fucking satisfying. [an even bigger spoiler] i loved watching him cry when he finally gets to confront his former master. pristine content. there's so much more to his character (and this game in general) but if you ever need to justify spending full price on a new videogame release, there's nothing better than bg3. if i could choose one game to beam directly into the brain of each whumpblr user, it'd be this one.

Okay so i already loved him from the very little information i had about him, but this is so delicious

I saw some pics of bad scars which are always hhh and heard that he is a whumpee but i didn't know the extent and now i think ive collected a new blorbo

You are telling me he meets his old master at some point...... and he cries..... and hes all sad....... he rly was made for tumblr but especially me youre telling me he has white hair and is a vampire twink who was a slave and hurt and traumatised and he has incredible sad wet cat energy and he only has a flimsy layer of confidence and absolutely no idea what morals are. i knew i needed to know more you have to understand my knowledge of the game stopped at the bear sex scene like that is it and yet i somehow always find the most pathetic little men no matter what in any media i could not give a shit about any of the rest i will consume the entire thing just to know the exact extent of his sad little life

Also i wish i had the opportunity to even consider buying a full price new release no matter how good the game is there is no world in which id be able to pay for that. Also idk about the gameplay either it seems very story oriented roleplay and almost dating sim-ish? Not a huge fan of those in general its gotta have more gameplay than walking around and basically watching a movie, but, again. No idea about anything, maybe it has incredible gameplay and i just dont know. Dont tell me if it does itll just make ms sadder bc that would absolutely make me wanna play it myself. Its kinda funny honestly the longer i spend not knowing anything the crazier everyone seems to me both online and irl. Its like im living in a separate world, i know no one who hasn't played this fucking game fjfhskhfd

#asks #anonymous #that lasts part wasnt a read btw im glad its such a good game #im so used to new releases costing a whole lot of money while being complete dumpster fires #its just actually amazing bc I'm usually the guy who knows everything thats going on Especially in the gaming world #and now im just here like #hey ive been seeing this lil vampire dude a lot lately? no fucking clue who he is but i hope he endures torture today :) #thank you for the ask! #and the tiny explanation #you rly know what i like and came ready with all the whumpy bits #appreciate it greatly #all i need to know is that he is so sad and whumpable and traumatised and looks fantastic in pain

[lehhoh7822]

maybe i am just a weirdo and am being a Bad Person but like

I feel like banning proship shit and starting to censor other ao3 shit is a realllllllll fucking slippery slope

like- what happens then? do we get a council that starts filtering fics? are we going to get a site split and send those writers away? is this a stepping stone to things like... censoring gore and censoring just general ships?

how do we define proshipping? i don’t want to engage with the discourse, just because then i would just die of like “every single fic I have ever read must make me a bad person ive read smut before ive definitely touched at least one problematic things before i am such a bad person” but even so, i feel like the line is more blurry than we think it is? i get the genuine idea that “proshippers believe that fiction doesn’t impact reality!!!!” but what does that translate to in a shipping part?

i look at ao3 like an archive, instead of a social media site, it’s a record of transformative works, and part of that record will be problematic ships and that type of content if that is part of the fandom, right? its not a social media site, either

i definitely get that problematic fanworks can be used for awful things and have definitely caused hurt, and i get that dldr cant apply all of the time because at all times there is going to be someone who does not tag, there is someone who uses character tags, youre new to the fandom and you don’t know to filter out things, i 100% get it

but i feel like proshipping- like as a concept, harassment does not work, or it does but in like an awful way. i would hate to think that due to one of my moral principles about something on the internet caused someone to want to harm themself, because otherwise, I really doubt that a lot of people who have already got the subcommunity that creates this content are going to be really convinced by comments telling them how morally wrong their interests are is going to change due to this

why would we change this? like... would the impact be that we just alienate this part of fandom? because in that case, if proshipping and problematic content is the worst thing in fandom, isn’t that actually worse? doesn’t that just isolate large swaths of people who might have been, in theory exploited or groomed by these communities? because i can almost 100% guarantee that this would just lead to another website or something else, getting around tags and still posting it there, etc, etc, etc. this content will not stop with suppression, I just think that it would get more isolated. if you leave a community on itself and dont engage with it other than with scorn or mocking (which is what we already do, and look what that does) it will just- there’s no sounding board, and this idea of like... they just hate us, no matter what we do, the other part of this group will just hate us- which is obviously not a good thing

alongside this, doesn’t it make the moral part worse? if you start fandom like this, and then you gotta make that transfer to general fandom, isn’t a large stigma going to develop about being a bad person, making the transition out of these communities harder? is being a proshipper an isolated identity, where if you create or consume problematic content or believe in proshipper ideologies (god that sounds fucked up), you no longer have the same engagement with regular fandom?? 

so, yeahhh. while the board changes, i think that that would be fucked up and bad, i think that would be a bad change because it would just make the problems that exist in theory worse! you have the isolated content problem and the “how?? where is the line of proshipper content” problem (ive met different people who draw the line differently so) yeah

uh not a good idea

if my language feels too neutral here, it’s because I don’t know enough about either communities to be like: oh okay this is exactly how i feel, these are the exceptions, etc, and I know enough about problematic discourse for some fandoms and thats what ive based this post on

if you want to critique and shit go for it but like there isnt really proshipper stuff i care too much about, and i dont want to do genuine discourse, this just was like opinion vomit so yeah

if thats block worthy for you (not really caring about proshippers) go for it

#ao3 #ao3 board of directors change over #proshipping #proshippers #and for like #due purposes #ill tag the ither side as well #anti proship #anti proshipping #also for the sake of those who dont want this on their dash #long post #discourse #cw proshipping

[iraprince]

this might not be something you personally have difficulty with, but i was recently diagnosed with severe adhd and i was wondering if you had any tips regarding just like….drawing?? i have such a hard time getting started even though i usually end up feeling pretty stoked and happy with my work if i manage to get something down. i used to draw constantly as a kid to help me focus in class, but in my adult life i just feel like there are so many invisible barriers between myself and putting pencil to paper. i’m sure there are a lot of perfectionism issues involved as well, so i guess just any sort of advice in any of those areas would be greatly appreciated! your work is fantastic and i’m really grateful that you share adhd stuff as well!! have a great day! :o)

i actually have a LOT of difficulty with this -- i have more difficulty than i have advice, probably! but my advice always ends up boiling down to the same thing lately, and it sounds really hokey but i mean it as literally as possible bc it's the only thing that consistently works for me: be fucking nice to yourself!

for a long time the only solution i had to being Inexplicably Unable To Do Something was to yell at myself, bully myself, assume that i wasn't trying hard enough, and end up a miserable little ball of confusion and frustration. it was def worse before i was diagnosed, but it's definitely not gone (sometimes "i don't know why i can't just do it!" just gets replaced with "well, i know what the problem is, so why can't i find a way around it?!"). and after many many years of experience with the bullying reaction vs a much shorter time comparing this reaction to other, kinder approaches, i can say with a lot of confidence that handling it with internal yelling and shaming doesn't work, straight up. it's not helpful, and most of the time it makes things worse -- even if you manage to force yourself to complete a task once or twice like this, it's too exhausting and demoralizing to be sustainable. so, while you haven't mentioned frustration in your question, that's still where my mind goes as a first step: if you're experiencing distress or anger or embarrassment over running into those barriers over and over again, the first step is practicing being calm and forgiving, not immediately trying to find a way around it. once you hit the wall and you find you can calmly go "oh, okay! this isn't working. let's figure out why" instead of immediately launching into "what the fuck is WRONG with me????", finding solutions is a lot easier.

the times i've surprised myself by having things just suddenly Flow after a long period of struggling are usually brought about by a ton of excitement and enthusiasm! i get really into a rarepair and i'm gripped with the need to make my own content, or i make a new oc who i really love, or i get back into a piece of media i haven't touched in a while and get all charged up with excitement. you gotta feed the tank to make stuff, so setting time aside to consume stuff that inspires and excites you is just as important as setting the time aside to actually sit down and try to draw.

another thing that has helped me is trying to be really purposeful abt reminding myself WHY i draw; sometimes, especially since it's my job, the images i'm supposed to be making just turn into this big featureless stack of Tasks instead of me really thinking about + appreciating what i do and why i love it. when i'm in a rut with commissions, for example, sometimes before i even try to start working (or if i HAVE tried to start and it's just not happening), i stop and sit down with the wips and really LOOK at them. i go through them one at a time and point out things i like about them or what i'm looking forward to doing: "the pose came out so good on the first try and i want to see what it'll look like finished," or "detailing all this hair is going to be so fun and relaxing." when you get so caught up in the constant repeated thought of "i just want to DO something, i want to DRAW," especially when it's been days or weeks or months where you can't, i think you can unconsciously start replacing "i want to draw because it's fun and i like what i make" with "i want to draw because i keep failing to and i just want to prove i can still do it," and for me the latter thought is usually way more distressing than it is motivating.

and finally, a failsafe: sometimes, when i can remember to do it, my secret weapon is counting down at myself for the tiniest steps possible. like i'll literally say out loud, "on the count of five, i'm going to stand up and go get my sketchbook. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5...." it has to be out loud and i think the reason it works is because like. if you say it out loud, reach five, and you don't do it, you feel astronomically goofy??? and then i just go from there: "on the count of 5, i'm going to find an empty page." "on the count of 5, i'm going to start sketching a head." it kind of forces through the executive dysfunction in a way i haven't really been able to replicate with anything else. it doesn't always work in a super meaningful way -- like, plenty of times i do like three steps and then i'm like "i hate this and i don't want to and i'm not gonna make anything good like this so i give up!" and then i just take the L for the afternoon. but when the "frozen in place, literally cannot stop just staring at the page" thing is the main issue, it might be enough of a push to get going!

as always here's me going "oh oop no i dont have a lot sorry" and then rambling for paragraphs and paragraphs but by now we should be used to that. good luck, and remember 2 be patient + nice :D

[whitesheepwrites]

hello!! i love your works / writing, and was wondering if you have any advice for who wants to publish some original work on ao3. xx

Mmmmghh honestly from my perspective.... I don't think I ever did anything out of the box? So idk if I have any authority to give advice 🤔 but from my experience publishing on ao3, here what I can say:

write what you want to write. Really. You're doing this for you first then for the readers second, don't invert the positions or you will either burn out or get annoyed/frustrated at your own story.

be conscious of the tag system. Specially regarding NSFW content >>> what I mean is, don't make a tag list that'd cover the entire screen but rather one focused on the major things (anything that helps "explain" the plot and adds to the summary) as well as the triggering ones (if people trust that you're not gonna spring something hurtful on them without warning, they are gonna come back to your stories more easily) >> it helps people find as well as get interested in your story.

Adding to the previous item, and only because I as a reader also hate when people do that, don't lump your one-shots in one multiple chapter story. That is how most of those monstrous tag walls are born and people more often will not try sort through them and just scroll past it, specially if they don't know which ones apply to which chapter. Try making a series instead! It's easier for both you and the reader to manage.

try to not get hung over kudos and stuff. This one is important because with original stories you don't have a Fandom ready to consume your content, so feedback is both slower and scarcer. I started posting four years ago and along the way people who share my taste happened to find me, but it certainly wasn't instantaneous nor its guaranteed/consistent. I'm not gonna lie and say the kudos and comments aren't super motivating, BUT I write because I like writing so my story not breaking 100 kudos is not gonna stop me. Dont let it stop you.

Summary! Seriously. A nice summary might not guarantee you readers but a bad one will spook them away. And by "bad" I mean a) "idk how to write summaries just read it" type or b) not telling anything about the story that could be interesting. If you're not into summaries or prefer short ones (I certainly do) then use the tags! But you gotta give something to make people curious enough to click.

I guess that is it. Hope it can help you!

#my asks #my writing

[mcbride]

Carol and Daryl in “a certain doom” SPOILERSSSSSSSS. some random thoughts about their current situation and how things can develop in the future after the jump....

so Carol and Daryl are just working together and talking about Michonne being gone. i think Carol is a bit hurt when he says he would have left with Michonne had she given him the chance. while Daryl voices his fear he’ll never see her again, like everyone else, like CAROL, who has been there but gone for most of s10. he’s got that fear she still got the urge to run away again. she tries to reach him with “i’m still here,” (excuse me, consumed “you still here. trying” call back! yeahhhh!) but the way he just looks at her and doesn’t say a word really makes me think he doesn’t believe her. i mean, she has promised him to not put herself in danger anymore at the cave and half an hour later she broke that promise.

the real emotional and meaningful scenes of the whole ep are between Lydia and Carol. Lydia desperately wants to connect, but so does Carol, and it’s just beautiful to see them play out those moments. Carol stops Lydia “you need to be yourself, you need to find your own way” and it’s ironic how she is basically just talking about herself too. Carol is lost. she needs to be herself and find a different way. Lydia is def not looking for another mom, and she tells Carol that they can have a different type of relationship, how they can be something else. it’s like giving Carol permission to be more than just a mom. Carol doesn’t have to be a mom. she can be different. i love that with my whole heart.

Carol offers to sacrifice herself at the cliff instead of Lydia. AND NO, I DONT THINK CAROL IS SUICIDAL. pls stop that bullshit. i do think Carol is willing to do whatever it takes to save her people, to make up for her own mistakes, i really don’t think she wants to die. she wants to live, but she doesn’t want to live in a world where people she loves are at risk if she can do something about it. she dislocated her arm to get out under that boat so Carol wants to live and keep the people she loves safe. but the fact Lydia came back for her, to stand with her in the middle of so much death means everything to me. and just remembering that scene is gonna make me cry forever. Carol needed that. i needed that. Lydia, someone who she hurt with her reckless behavior to be there for her, to understand her, to hold her and just show her she cares. ok. i’m emotional. i can’t.

then Daryl... he’s just waiting with the group, when Carol and Lydia arrive singing praises to each other like the proudest newest bffs. i can’t help but think Daryl is once again feeling let down cause Carol decided to risk her life by herself again, albeit with Lydia’s help, but he’s got no time to consider it. he just checks her up and down, making sure she’s in no way injured and that breaks my heart into a million pieces. no matter what she does, he really just wants her to be ok. 

Daryl hesitates just a little tiny bit before saying he’s good and ask her if it’s finally over, if she got what she wanted. she completely avoids looking at him when she says she didn’t and won’t get what she wants, still “you still got me” and she breaks down cause she really thought she had lost him. she’s so unsure, she’s so insecure, she’s so lost that she really thought she could ever do anything to really push him away. ican’t. all he wants is to touch her and i’m not imagining this. he is the one that makes that hug happen because she needs it but he needs it too. she’s back. she’s here. omg, these two are the biggest love fools in history.

it’s such a tender moment, when this idiot got the audacity to smile and tease Carol about New Mexico again. and he seems so hopeful, but also a bit dejected when she once again fails to look him in the eye to say “maybe someday. we still have things to do here.” i really got this weird impression that he really just wants to leave all their baggage behind and start over brand new with her. he wants to take her away from all the pain and heartache and live a simpler life. he just wants to be with her. he isn’t thinking about responsibilities or anything else in that moment. 

Carol is not there yet. she’s gotta want to make amends with people she let down, and i do think she is still thinking about Connie. she wants to find her, and at the moment, she does seems like the only one who’s thinking about her. and that brings me back to Carol’s biggest insecurity. she still doesn’t think she is good, she’s certain not good enough for Daryl even if it’s what she wants the most. idie a little.

SO i don’t think Carol and Daryl are ok. he still doesn’t believe she means it when she says she’s still here, and she’s gonna have to work really hard to prove that no matter what she’s there for him. they are both still in a weird situation where they are totally clueless what they mean to each other. Daryl has to be wondering where does Carol and Zeke’s relationship stand, while Carol is convinced he’s interested in Connie. that’s what they are for sure gonna be working on healing their relationship, their trust in each other, and learning to really open up to each other about their real feelings.

i am absolutely not worried at all because Angela and Gimple both already confirmed the Carol/Daryl spin off will have a different tone, and the characters are finally gonna be comfortable in their own skins. they will finally find themselves and find a way to work together on opening up. they will be finally in a peaceful state of mind that allows them to be content, if not damn happy. that’s what i’m hoping for. no matter what happens, Carol and Daryl will decide to leave everything behind, get on the bike and runaway together. that’s so f*ckn romantic....

#caryl #caryl rants #carol peletier #daryl dixon #caryl spinoff #twd spoilers #listen this is long and nonsense #i basically didn't sleep #so ignore me if you wish #positive rant tone #if you are not feeling the positivity just skip it

[buniyaad]

been thinkin about this for a while, and i just gotta say - some of you REALLY dont realize how much y’all contribute to self-clownery by going after fancontent creators over the age of 25. whether it’s jibes of the nature of “ur almost thirty,” or the more condescending “ur old enough to know that ship is Bad,” and it’s like???? bitch you pay my bills??? you clothe, feed, and house my fantastic ass and my bitch cat??? you sendin me money for my givenchy bitch!?

cuz you aint. more often than not, fancreators over 25 be creatin for themselves, regardless of how immoral the content is bc it’s a) there’s no monetary gain, b) it’s an exercise in skill and creativity, and c) cuz it’s fun! YES, CLOWNS! IT’S FUN TO WRITE A 150k DARKFIC WITH MURDER, INFIDELITY, HIJINKS, AND TELENOVELA-ESQUE ALLURE! nobody gives a fuck if it’s immoral in its lessons, because NO ONE is required to consume it and NO ONE is telling a fancontent creator how to write it! it’s free of every restriction placed on mainstream COMMERCIAL content, because fancontent... wait for it... is for free.

and it’s true! 25+ gang is old! we got bills to pay and mouths to feed and dayjobs to excel at so we can survive in this capitalist nightmare, BUT WE ALSO LOVE FANDOM! we got back problems and still cant get our apostrophes right half the time, but the engagement is STILL there. THAT’S why AO3 survives, cuz people who are old as shit have a passion for fandom, have a passion for creating and archiving for future generations.

and to think that some of y’all got the gohtdamn NERVE to roll up in my inbox talmbout “if u think critically, u would not be shipping/liking this character/ship/etc.” like??? im sorry im not using my critical thinking skills to make moral content katherine, but like, i see critical thinking is not stopping you from selfshipping on main and taking requests for reader-insert porn and selfship OCs. not to be mean, but imma be VERY mean, but did you think u were special just cuz ur discord cult said so???

cuz ur not. i know some of y’alls social interactions with other human beings is relegated to your discord cults, voltron fandom, and your pizza delivery guy, BUT DID YOU THINK.... that no one noticed???? and that you were any less of a clown than the rest of us??? did you think no one noticed that your reams of self-insert porn and selfshipping fanart wasn’t just a testament to your ten million daddy/mommy issues??? did you think your content wasnt a part of the cringeship, ugly and immoral in of itself??? cuz it is. i know some of y’all will ride or die for your cult overlords, but i want you to know that they are in fact wrong and that you are in fact a dumb clown who people very much DO laugh at for being so clueless despite being such vicious bullies.

some of y’all lucky as hell most ppl just block you and keep it pushin despite the fact that SO many of you will cross the boundary of respectability and then be too much of a coward to come off anon when your friends have no problem ratting you out for being hypocritical clowns. and you’re lucky that ppl mute ur nonsense cuz they know you’ve gone on record with Several Mental Illnesses and no old bitch wants to tell a clown with low selfawareness that mayhaps they should stop cuz guess what? we aint ya parents.

bc the sad reality is, some of y’all just got no hometraining PERIOD! you come around, talmbout this and that and actin like you hot shit, but nevermind that you’re LUCKY that the old gang aint cruel enough to roll up and tell you to your face that you’re probably contributing to your bad health by being this much of a clown on the internet, and you’re LUCKY that no one’s called out some of y’all sociopathic asses so damn THIRSTY for fandom validation, but really, i want you to know that that’s all luck.

cuz eventually, and it always happens, you gon piss off a clown EQUALLY as sociopathic as you, they gon ruin ur online rep, get ya frens to turn on you, get the cult will target you next, AND laugh ya ass all the way outta town. cuz why?

#and i WILL laugh #because it’s what you deserve #black clover #real talk #fandumb #i been lookin back all the hate i be gettin and on god #some of y’all really think you slick #when you aint

[mshermia]

Heloo (yea it's with 2 Os and 1 L) (I won't be fixing that anytime soon) (so what) it's been a while. Hey hey hi!!! Hoope you're doing well (again, I know there's two of them this time tOOO) (oh would you look at that, 3 this time but still one extra) (I dont know what I'm doing) (stop staring okay I'll stOOp) (hih)

Remember the batshit crazy anon from a while back? Yea hello again. I havent been around. But it was on purpose actually. I had this lesson from this absolute nonexistent film called 'endgame'. I dont know if you ever heard of it. Doesn't really matter, the thing is I dont trust in any writer's or scriptwriter's or producer's mental state anymore. It's just the thing with you guys for some reason you usually adore annihilating our poor old souls. So I developed this fan-fucking-tastic method to preserve MY (basically limpdick) mental state: I wont be watching or reading or doing any form of consuming if I dont know how that thing will be ending. So I dont know what's going on with 'if they knew all about you' in the current moment. So I wont be (generally incompetently) critiquing your work today. (Although I did saw that peticular '89' there. And fuck me. Okay?) Instead I'm here to JUUUUUUUUUST stop by. Yeah. That's the only reason of my arrival this time.

Just a question though, can you really comprehend what I'm babbling about in general? Cause I just swiped a little down in your blog and I saw one of my asks and I read it. And my first reaction was 'what in the name of sanity did I try to say there'. Its was a knee jerk reaction really. Like.. I'm talking the hind legs off a monkey (yes a monkey not a donkey) (becaUSE I FUCKING SAID SO) Anyway. I'm not sober eoght know and I don't know what I'm going with this. So I should just stop right?

(But the real question is why am I drunk texting you? I mean it s not even texting. But it is.) (That's a lie I'm not drunk) (I'm only mentally ill) (also i didnt sleep half of this week) (I dont know what's that supposed to mean) (its fucking Tuesday I DONT KNOW OKAY?)

Also, are you gonna write one of those tastefull villian-Tony fics? You know, something with the July? I cant really remember but whatever.

Bye

Hellooo again anon!

Good to have you back ;)

I gotta say, I very much share your mistrust in those content creators. I blame both Endgame and Game Of Thrones for that. How I Met Your Mother too.

Like, how hard is it not to write such a sucky ending? It's not that hard. Just somewhere along the way people have started to care more about "surprising" their audience with some bullshit instead of delivering good storytelling.

As a storyteller, that annoys the shit out of me!

I am so close to finishing If They Knew All About You, I can practically see the finishlime but then my parents and grandma came to visit for a week and any writing efforts got sidelined.

(I've also got a little preoccupied with writing another chapter for my HYDRA Peter prompt, but let's keep that between us...)

As for a villain Tony story... I don't think that one is in my future. Maybe I'd consider a SIM version showing up for some dark whump? But it's unlikely, especially since I do still have a few stories lined up, including an IronStrange with Bio!Dad Spiderson and a broken Stony adoptive!Dad Steve story on the backburner that might be getting a little longer than I originally thought.

Aaaanyway! Thanks for checking in. Enjoyed it as usual 😉

#iron dad and spider son #iron dad #bio!dad tony stark #ironstrange #mcu stony #stony #marvel fanfiction #if they knew all about you #tony stark fic #peter parker #spiderson

[bxthharmon]

Never Go Home Again, Pt. XII || JJ Maybank x Reader

Words: 3130

Series Warnings: violence / talking about abuse / toxic relationships / talking about nudes sex and sex tapes / drugs / underage drinking

Pt. Warnings: Guns / blood and violence

Series Summary: A new girl, a shoebox of old memories, a past she’s trying to forget coincide with a hotheaded, but selfless, boy.  teenagers getting in way over their heads

Pt. Summary: Chaos catches up, causing trouble for everyone involved

A/N: sorry for the slow updates, but with the event (tysm btw ily) i’ve been busy. i have a few more requests, and i promise im getting to them. anyway! feels weird, only 2 or 3 parts left. tysm for all this support <3

Chapters linked in my masterlist.

“masterlist”

JJ woke up before you. His face felt stiff from the tears he’d shed the night before, and the corners of his eyes were filled with sleep. He rubbed his eyes, phosphenes decorating his mind as he pulled them open. The window was wide open, curtains fluttering in the light breeze and the sun decorating the room with a natural glow. He became aware of the towel thrown over the dresser and the wet clothes hanging in the window sill, the memories of last night returning. He looked down at you.

You were curled up, one of his tops and a pair of his joggers covering your body as you gripped his arm lightly in your sleep. He blinked, admiring the lock of hair falling over your face, the curve of your lashes and the relaxed smile that adorned your sleeping frame. He brushed the hair out of your face and let it fall. He realised that he was in deep. Somewhere across the room, the ping of a phone notification pulled him from his thoughts. He looked up, seeing the bluish light coming from the floor on the other side of the room. He slid his arm from your hold, careful not to wake you as you unconsciously pulled the pillow into your grip instead. He rose from the bed, careful not to let the bed creak as he left you. He padded across the room, picking up the phone from the wooden floorboards.

The phone awoke as he lifted it, a series of fresh messages lining up under the time. 

Tyler: hey

Tyler: ik i fucked up with us, but i cant stop thinking abt seeing u when u visited

Tyler: can we try again?

Tyler: ik u said u were seeing someone and dont wanna fuck it up, but i still love u

Tyler: let me know. I miss u

He almost choked, heart beating in his ears as he looked back to your sleeping frame, rising and falling with oblivious breaths. He looked back at the phone, placing it on the dresser softly. He left the room, clicking the door shut as softly as he could, and making his way to the kitchen. He rinsed a mug and put the kettle on, rummaging through the cupboards for the instant coffee granules. He pulled the silver pot from the shelf, peeling the cap off and tapping it on the side of the mug so the granules tumbled in, the dark brown contrasting the light ceramic. He poured the contents of the boiling kettle in, watching the hot water consume the granules and turn brown. He stirred and sipped, hissing as it burnt his tongue. He never had the patience to wait for it to cool down.

He studied the cupboards again, finding no edible food, not trusting the bread after his previous experience. He sipped the coffee again, allowing himself to look back at the closed bedroom door. He wanted to know what happened when you went back, but knew he wouldn’t like the answer. After last night, he knew Tyler was an asshole, and wanted more than anything to fly to California and punch him in the face, but couldn’t understand the text. Thoughts were flashing through his head, ideas rushing to his head. He wondered if he should ask, or leave it and wait for you to tell him. He knew you had no obligation to him, but he also knew that you two had something going on. Whatever that something was. He sighed. 

He thought about how he felt when he saw you smile, how much he’d spiralled after your argument, how vulnerable he was around you. It hit him suddenly, an epiphany that took all his air away but made him feel alive, made him feel broken and brilliant all in one moment. He loved you.

Down the hall, on the other side of the door, he heard the bed creak. There was a pause, and then he heard the floorboards moan. Another minute, and he heard the ping of your phone notification. There was another pause, then the door opened and you stood in front of him, hair tousled by sleep and eyes fresh. You smiled at him, reaching out and pulling him in, kissing his temple and stepping away to make your own coffee. His heart pulled, not letting him push you away and reaching out as you left his arms, but not wanting it because of those stupid texts. In that moment, he fights his impulse and decides to wait for you to tell him. Would you tell him?

He draws his attention to you, hopping back onto the counter next to you. He watched you, enamored with the way you moved, the way you brush against him, the way you seem so carefree in the moment. He wants to kiss you, but he knows he won’t until he knows what’s going on. 

Faster than he wants to admit, you’ve finished your coffees and Kie and Pope are awake, moving about after leaving their slumber on the pullout couch, and then setting up the pulley for the well. Your mood changes when they’re up. You’re more talkative, brushing over any mention of the night before, helping when you can. You look back at him a couple of times, and each time his heart flutters.

You can feel blisters working on your skin as you help Pope with the winch, the rope burning at your skin in the force of the friction, but you don’t pay it any mind. You finish with the mechanism, stepping away and sitting down next to JJ, passing some witty banter with Kie, and opening a bottle of beer, the cool glass soothing the hot skin on your palms.

“What does it feel like?” Pope asked, watching Kie as she sat in the can hanging from the pulley.

“Feels good.” she confirms, pulling the rope slightly.

“John B’s pulling a Houdini.” JJ stated, putting his own beer down.

“Yeah, where is he?” you asked.

“I got my scholarship interview in the morning.” Pope reminded, “We gotta get this done.”

“Speak of the devil!” JJ grinned as John B strode past you all without so much as a ‘hello’. “Hey! Dude, I put up the entire winch to pull up the gold and everything.”

“No he did not.” You laughed.

“We did that.” Pope said, gesturing between you.

John B ignored you, and Kie called after him as he entered the Chateau. “Okay, that’s it?” you muttered.

“What’s that all about?” Pope asked, walking to you and JJ.

“I was gonna ask you the same question.” JJ said, you and him getting off the hot tub and following him into the Chateau. When you entered, John B was pulling the house apart, searching.

“You alright, man?” Pope asked, “What’s up?”

“What are you looking for?” Kie added.

“Bro, what’s going on, man?” JJ asked, following him as he pulled the gun from under the cushioning on the sofa.

“John B, what do you need the gun for?” You and JJ stepped forwards, both reaching to take the weapon. John B grabbed your shoulders, pushing you over and shoving past JJ as you all yelled for him to chill and talk to you. Pope tried to block his exit.

“What are you, JJ, now?” Pope asked as you and Kie yelled for him to calm down. John B pushed Pope back into the table as you followed him out, asking for him to explain, or calm down. You ran down the steps, the others close behind. He mounted the dirt bike, looking back at the four of you.

“John B, what the hell?” Kie yelled.

“Ward knows about the gold.” John B spoke for the first time. “He killed my dad.”

You ran as far as the dirt track, watching the bike disappear as JJ swore.

--

“What now, we just go up to the front door and ask, ‘Hey, have you seen John B’?”

The night felt dark, cold, and your boat felt fragile next to the stupidly big boat across the pontoon from you. The shape of the Cameron house was huge and adorned with golden windows on the other side of the lawn.

“Look, he lives in Tannyhill now, it’s plausible.” Kie reasoned, but you could tell she was just grabbing at loose ends. “We can play dumb.”

“Play dumb?” you frowned.

“It’s pretty late.” Pope added.

“Look, I’ve never seen John B like that. We should honestly be going to the cops.” Kie countered.

“The cops? And say what, Kie?” you almost laughed, “‘We’re worried about our friend because he’s going off on a rampage because Ward Cameron killed Big John’? They’re not gonna believe us!”

“Hey, I see Ward.” Pope interrupted you, binoculars up as he watched the house. Kie took the binoculars, checking for herself. “Doesn’t look dead to me, let’s go home.”

“What?” Kie turned, shocked and offended.

“Uh, okay. Obviously Mr Cameron is fine, and even if John B was here, he isn’t now, okay? Plus, I have the biggest, most important moment of my life in six hours.”

“Yeah, well our friend is in trouble.”

“I’m in trouble! Guys, I haven’t been home in three days! My dad’s probably put all my shit on the street by now.”

“Okay, so that’s it? In a time of need you’re just gonna bail? You’re just gonna walk away?”

“Okay, yo, guys.” You spoke from the other side of the boat, “Can we not do this right now?”

“Hey, I have a scholarship interview in the morning.” Pope reminded Kie.

“Okay, well what about John B?” Kie asked.

“Why is it always about John B?” Pope questioned, and you sighed, looking away as Kie looked around, caught off guard.

“It’s not always about John B. You’re so stupid! It would be any of you in this situation.”

“Bullshit!”

“Guys.” JJ tried to stop them.

“This is about friendship!” Kie powered on.

“Bring it down.” said JJ.

“This is about pogues for life!”

“What about forensic pathology, huh?” countered Pope.

“Forensic pathology?” Kie scoffed.

“It’s my life! It’s everything I’ve worked for!”

“That’s your priority?”

“Would you stop with the moral high ground bullshit?”

“Pope, come on.” you cut in.

“No.” he rejected, “No, no. She has no room to talk.” You looked down, knowing you didn’t either. “Where were you when Big John went missing? You weren’t there. You weren’t there for John B. You weren’t there for any of us! Remember your kook year?”

“Dude.” JJ tried, again, to stop the argument.

“Yeah, you forgot about us. Now you feel guilty.”

“Give me a break.” She pushed him, and he staggered but held his ground, you and JJ were up within seconds. “Is that what you need? You need a break? Move!”

You and JJ pulled them away from each other, shouting for them to stop, to cut it out. You held Kie’s shoulders, the both of you breathing heavily. She stared straight ahead, holding eye contact with Pope as JJ looked between them.

“If I’m the one mediating, we’ve hit rock bottom.” JJ sighed. You dropped your hands from Kie’s shoulders. She sat down as you sent Pope to the bow of the ship, sitting down as well.

“Pope, we’ll drop you off.” You said, JJ steering the boat. 

--

You sat, facing away from the group, water washing around your ankles, arms propped up on the wood as you stared at your phone. You were aware of the conversation - the gold was gone - but you weren’t really listening, or paying attention. Your mind was plagued with worries that felt trivial compared with what was going on, but still felt like the world would implode if you didn’t sort them.

Tyler was rejecting your refusals, insisting you humour him. You turned around briefly to look at JJ, who was watching you. You wondered if he had worked out that you’d slept with Tyler, even though you hadn’t mentioned it. But, of course, you hadn’t mentioned it - he couldn’t know.

You broke from your thoughts as Pope came blundering down the path. “Guys!” he halted when he reached you, and you picked your legs up, swinging around to face the group. “Oh, God, I ran all the way here.”

“How was the interview?” you asked.

“Don’t ask.”

“Promising.”

“JB, look, I’m sorry dude. About everything.”

“It’s fine.” John B disregarded.

“But - but I don’t have a lot of time, and I have information that is tactically relevant. So, before I had my interview, my dad said he was going down to the private airstrip to cut palms for Cameron’s big plane. Because it was too heavy, it needed a longer landing strip to take off. So, I’m there sitting in my interview, thinking to myself, ‘Hm, why would Cameron need a longer airstrip to take off? What could be so heavy to weigh it down?’”

“Gold.” JJ turned.

“That’s right.” John B confirmed.

“Exactly! Guys, this is our chance, but it leaves tonight, and we have to go.”

“We can’t give up now.” Kie smiled, jumping down from where she was balanced.

“What’s the plan, big man?” JJ asked.

“We’re gonna steal that shit back.” John B stated.

You smiled, this was going to be a shit show.

--

“We go in there, guns-a-blazin’, make Ward Cameron beg for mercy, abscond with as much gold as possible, and vámanos, get the hell out of there.” JJ summed up.

“Send that shit right down the intracoastal.” John B added.

“Wait for the weather.” Kie reminded.

“Exit to Cuba.” Pope finalised.

“Cuba?” JJ sounded offended at the idea, “No, man, Xcalak, the jewel of the Yucatan. Lobsters so thick, mangoes, no word for money.”

“I like the sound of that,” you hummed, sitting up from where you lay across the back seats, “Let’s do this shit.”

The VW rattled on for a few hundred feet, John B curving into a break in the thicket, the lot of you leaping out of the car to a wire fence.

“What’s the plan?” Kie asked. “Broad strokes.”

“I don’t think we got that far.” John B admitted, Pope pulled out his binoculars.

“They’re loading up the gold.” Pope pointed out. 

John B took the binoculars, watching the scene before him. You were all pressed up to the wire fence, and you could see a car rolling up to the plane. You watched the figures exit, faintly recognisable without the binoculars. John B lowered the black instrument, Kie asking him what was going on.

“It’s Sarah.” 

You looked back at the plane. They played out like a scene in a play, little figurines moving around, until Sarah was being dragged onto the plane by the shape that must have been her father. John B disappeared from your side as the engine began to whir, loud enough to be audible from your spot behind the fence. Behind you, a car door slammed, and you shouted for your friend as he started the engine, forcing all of you to step back as he smashed through the gate, JJ’s “Don’t be a hero!” resounding in the air.

Still shouting, the four of you ran through the gap as he accelerated towards the moving plane, your shouts fracturing the air. Upon the realisation that whatever stupid, reckless thing John B was doing couldn’t be stopped, you waited in baited breath. You watched the van swerve in the plane’s path, the screech of the brakes reaching your ears. You heard and watched the second squeal as the plane halted, barely feet away from the pogue.

Somewhere in the distance, you heard the sirens.

“Guys, I can’t get arrested.” Pope spoke, breaking the shocked silence you had been standing in.

“I’m on probation.” JJ added. 

“We’re no good if we’re all in jail.” Kie confirmed, and you turned to the three of them.

“You serious?” you almost laughed.

“Y/N,” JJ started.

“Go, if you have to.” You nodded, “I’ll step in if he needs me, God knows what’ll happen.”

Kie and Pope nodded,setting off, but JJ stood. “You can’t-”

“JJ, you said yourself - you’re on probation. But they don’t know I’m here, I’ll be fine.” You smiled, stronger than you felt, “Go.”

He followed your friends, and you stepped back into the trees, the sick feeling in your stomach foreboding a turn of events. The blue and white police car was racing down the runway, and you could almost feel the panic in your friends.

You saw the Sheriff get out, and the exchange that led to Ward’s arrest. You watched her get him on the floor, gun pointed at his face, you heard a bang.

The scene froze for a second, but suddenly time sped up, the Sheriff collapsed, and there was another figure. The gun was pointed at John B. You felt yourself move forwards, but the figures were moving - Sarah’s crumpling onto the floor, Ward standing, John B’s moving to help Sheriff Peterkin. You watched Ward and the new figure. Fuck it.

“John B!” you screamed, and he looked up. He was sprinting towards you as the three Cameron’s started fighting. You jogged, the pair of you breaking into a sprint as you got to the woods, fighting your way through the thicket as more sirens joined the melee. Shots were fired, but they sounded numb to your racing mind. He was slightly ahead of you, faded hoodie flashing as you both ran flat out. Before you registered the road, the horn was honking and John B was rolling over the bonnet of a car. You grabbed his shoulders, pulling him up, the pair of you running as the driver shouted for you.

You needed to find the others.

You ran for a while, slowing to a walk as you discussed where the others would be. The junkyard, you thought.

After five minutes, you stopped, forcing him to prove to you that the blood on his arms was only Peterkin’s, and that he wasn’t injured.

Somewhere above you, there was a plane. 

You were walking slowly now, approaching the junkyard. You felt numb, knowing that everything was completely different now. You turned the corner, seeing the three other pogues gathered, Pope taking a hit from JJ’s juul. Weird.

They ran to you, seeing the blood in John B’s hands and your shirt (from your attempts to check his injuries) and immediately began to panic, giving you once overs.

“Who’s blood is that?”

You all ducked behind the clutter to avoid the approaching sirens, allowing yourself a moment to breathe. You glanced at the blonde boy next to you, but as you went to speak, he turned away harshly. What the fuck?

Tags: @tangledinsparkles​ @jellyfishbeansontoast​ @lolitstiana​ @ilikealotofpeople-younotsomuch​ @teamnick​ @thoughtsofthestars​ @obxmxybxnk​ @jjmaybankswife​ @kaelyn-lobrutto24​ @sxcretinhuman​ @alexa-playafricabytoto​ @angvelics​ @badwolf00593​ @coloradogirl07​ @mendesmaybank​ @jiaraendgame​ @5am-cigarette​ @emerald-xcd​ @haharudy​

#obx #obx fanfiction #obx fanfic #outer banks #outer banks fanfiction #outer banks fanfic #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank x you #jj maybank x y/n #jj x reader #jj x you #jj x y/n #john b #john b routledge #kie #kie carrera #kiara #kiara carrera #pope #pope heyward #sarah #sarah cameron

[lucidpantone]

Ok I totally get your point and I agree but why Zoenne has plot line on Robbe season even if the season was all Robbe? wtFOCK could have made a video of Sobbe without stealing attention to Yasmina because THAT would have keep the Sobbe fans quiet for some time don't you think?

similar anon: Can we let the sobbe stuff go now guys. Jeez.

Guys they do have a plot tho. They still have a plot that takes place at the latter half of the season. Its not like they decided to not give sobbe a plot in s5 they still have their plot just like zoenne had their plot in s3 but honestly with the way everyone is acting I am kinda of glad its back loaded so I can just focus on yasmina for a few episodes because as soon as the sobbe plot starts thats all anyone wants to talk about and its incredibly frustrating to someone who is invested in the entire verse like me. I dont invest in one couple I am trying to consume the entire remake experience and its tough when everyone keeps screaming about one particular couple non stop. Like am trying to watch season 5 here can you all keep it down a little please. I literally recently leaked a sobbe blue print of what the plot most likely is and when it starts and everything the willems have shot. So like the plot exist so just wait okay. I am sorry people didnt get the video I agree it sucks but its not like you didnt get multiple pieces of content, because you did, so we gotta move on. There is no video, I agree it sucks but back to regular yasmina related programming.

#lucidpantone anons

[meme-loving-stuck]

In light of Some Guy On Youtube #465826 being outed as a sexual predator, and the HUGE INFLUX of nerds defending him, here are 2 small tips on how to actually "engage with content critically"

1. First: instead of saying "Creators are PEOPLE too!!" Get used to the FACT that "Everyone does shitty things."

They're just people. And people make mistakes. But people ALSO have the capacity to be really, purposefully shitty & manipulative to others. Is this creator or group an insanely popular page? Then chances are they have done MORE harmful, shitty things than the average bean, and people have either not seen it, because they're only in the spotlight for all the Cool Good Things they do, or their peers and/or audience let it go.

Why? People who get to FAMOUS levels of internet-popular are especially likely to be on this level of charisma or cunning, so as to be very easily forgiven for Shitty Things they've done.

2. Have they crafted the persona of an "underdog" somehow? Do they use the excuse of being "awkward", "nerdy", or "not well socialized" as an excuse for inappropriate or bigoted behavior? Red flags.

People seek community, it's a normal thing. You may be consuming content critically in your own head, but you gotta understand that after a certain number of followers, MOST people are only filming, commenting, posting a persona. They may not be who you and their ENTIRE fanbase thinks they are.

No this doesn't mean every creator is a total phony or that their whole personality is fabricated. It means you don't KNOW them. You only know what you see on the screen. It doesnt matter how down-to-earth they seem. When someone gets THAT popular, they have to stop trying to befriend their audience and keep strangers at arm's length.

Especially on a small scale like this, they kinda have to become their own PR team. If you think tumblr is hostile once you become "popular" here, imagine what youtube and twitter comments & inboxes look like once you say something your sizable audience doesn't like.

Now imagine the effect that might have on you if you decided to make vlogging your primary source of income. These big, popular creators know that their image is EVERYTHING. So once they know how to use that, and to hide behaviors & ideas their audience doesn't like, they do it.

And sometimes, they mean the apologies. Sometimes it's a meaningful thing that really comes from the heart. But pay attention to how things are phrased:

"I/we dont want to ALIENATE that part of my/our FANBASE."

So many creators and "influencers" have adopted this phrase. Does it sound a little weird? A little too formal? That's cause it's corporate talk, my dudes. It's the easiest way to NOT have to specify whether they actually CARE about the bigoted thing they said/did, or who specifically they hurt.

Sometimes this is just to avoid getting too far into a subject they are uneducated about but have genuine interest in learning & being better.

Other times? They really, truly don't care. They just don't want to lose that part of their audience. Because then they lose money.

Sometimes, that creator that you've been watching since you were 15 isn't a good person. Sometimes that group you loved was actually full of toxic people manipulating eachother and filming staged behavior for money. For popularity. Being HUGELY popular for years and years CAN and DOES corrupt.

It can and does result in people learning to hide their shitty behavior and get really, really good at lying.

They're entertainers, after all!

They aren't your friends. They have just as much capacity to be bad people as anyone else... with the addition of drastically reduced tangible consequences for it.

Stop idolizing creators you don't know. Stop defending their despicable choices.

#BLOGGING LOUDLY #long post #this is meant to be a very broad universal thing btw not just this one guy #ok to rb #actually if you consider yourself in any youtubers 'fandom' i encourage you to

[whirlibird]

Your posting of fate makes me wanna try watching it again but I have NO IDEA where it's supposed to start smwnwnj

<3 <3 <3 To Think I Am Being Rewarded For My Behaviour Of Spamming Anime Posts....

but yea GOTTA LOVE FATE it gets wild!!! it is pretty hard to get started and i cant say im the best to give recommendations since i havent even seen everything dfhjgsdgf but i will give it my best shot!

fate stay night is where fate started, and the easiest place to start *that* would be the fate/stay night unlimited blade works anime by ufotable

it should be on crunchyroll, thats where i watched it. it lacks a few things but gets most of the themes right, which is what’s important. the animation is also baller and its a fun watch! very good intro to the series.

https://www.crunchyroll.com/fatestay-night ‘tis here if you wanna hop in

alternatively, you can also start with fate/zero, which is a prequel to fate stay night.

theres quite a good anime adaptation - i wouldn’t personally recommend it to start with, bc its a bit too dark and lacks optimism for my tastes, which isnt really reflective of fate as a whole? at least imo. it is good, though - or at least, enjoyable?

listen, it has lancelot du lac jump on top of a fighter jet and chase king gilgamesh around on it while screaming and firing a minigun! while rock music plays!

tangent, but fate has the best lancelot take of any adaptation ive seen so far because it actually remembers that a major part of his character is his Emotional Delicacy and his tendency to regularly go batshit when faced with difficult problems. fate really said “what if we manifested the second most mary sue knight in all of arthuriana, but like, only from the times when he went insane and ran off naked into the woods”

and also gave him a gun!

i love lancelot

anyway. it also provides some background for fate/stay night and adds some depth and reinforcement to the Juicy Themes(TM) behind fate, which is the main appeal of the franchise. that and the extremely off-the-walls bullshit they come up with sometimes.

i started with the unlimited blade works anime, lost my mind over archer, and then sort of passively consumed fate by just...seeing posts that turned up on my dash about it, or from friends talking to me abt some of the wilder shit that happens.

fate meta is incredibly enjoyable to read bc theyre just hog wild and occasionally give me emotional whiplash from how fucking weird fate is, but also how emotionally compelling some of the Themes(TM) are

then i got into fate grand order bc i read a post analyzing the character motivations of salieri, you know, the musician, who in fate is actually the manifestation of the rumors that he killed mozart, and has a Lot of issues about this

he first shows up in an alternate timeline of russia where everyone had to become furries in order to survive permawinter

because aliens

fate grand order is a gacha mobile game and i cannot even begin to describe what its deal is. it starts slow but gets very, very good later on.

but yeah fgo sucked me back into fate, permanently this time, and im STILL working my way thru fate content

there is so much fate content, oh my god

on the plus side you wont run out and most of it is self-contained so you can just stop at your favourite

the one downside of the anime adaptations is that they dont go in as deep on the characters and their dynamics with each other as the visual novel does, so some of the finer details that really make the themes Pop dont get across, which is a shame. but also it doesnt really matter when youre first getting into fate? you can just start at UBW, and if you like it, mosey along into the other stuff when you so feel like it

(sidenote - there isnt a decent anime adaptation of the fate route - it’s the first of three routes that make up fate/stay night, before unlimited blade works and heaven’s feel. each of the three routes do build up on each other, and the fate route is chronologically first, but. well. an anime adaptation of fate route does exist, but its kind of a mess, and also combines stuff from other routes, which isnt great)

this went on a lot longer than i expected but i hope it helps!

tl;dr start with the fate stay night unlimited blade works anime, and then go from there :D

#fate has so much Depth and potential and sometimes its squandered but sometimes it goes FULL IN which is always fun #SORRY THIS IS ALL OVER THE PLACE LMAO I HAVE ADHD AND I AM VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT FATE #fate #fates #nick blabs #Anonymous #asks #the last movie of heaven's feel has just come out #which is the anime adaptation of heavens feel route #havent seen it but it looks real good #so thats something you might wanna look into after UBW #before you watch fate zero - because fate zero kinda spoils some things about heaven's feel #i havent even touched on the fate extra games #but i can give you more info on those when i finish fate extra lmao

[jjbablocklistcallouts]

The Blocklist: A essay (this is very long)

I know everyones sick of it at this point but I got shit to say so feel free to not read this absolute unit of a poorly written essay. The jjbablocklist divided their list into two different list now. One for creators and one for consumers/rebloggers and I cannot stress enough about how dumb that is since it shouldve been done since the beggining. Also, following alot of these artist and “consumers” of these medias, I noticed some of them are falsely accused, others while being minors. here’s why:

1. A lot of teens and young adults in the community like ships like GioMis, FuMis, NaraGio, MisTrish and plenty more and I know your singular shared braincell cannot handle the idea of 2-3 year age gaps not being pedophilia, but uh, newsflash for ya, THEY AINT. Legally, it is not a crime and that in america where the age of consent is 18, not in Italy where its 15 and not in Japan where its even less. Under the general United States Law, which is where I assume the list makers/defenders are mostly from, these ships are not classified as pedophilia or should be problematic and the ages of consent change to lower ages depending on state. The only way you can add these shippers for their “crimes” is if they promoted or created the interactions of these characters in a sexual or intimate manner whether they are aged up or not, which is still wack if their age is above that of the age of consent in writing/art and the fact that minors, in this case teenagers with the VA cast, are allowed to express themselves with people of their own age group in a sexual manner, real life kids do it all the time amongst themselves so why shouldnt people be able to create it, the whole ordeal is ridiculous imo BUT I can see how it makes a lot of people uncomfortable, a lot of it makes me uncomfortable too so we gotta make compromises somehow so absolutely no lewding the mafia lolis/ jojo lolis in general and if you do, tag it properly so it doesnt spread onto the basic hastags of characters and the show. If you dont you on the list.

2. Claim genderswapping/r63 is transphobic all you want but until I see clear and definitive proof of it being purposely made for that purpose then it’s absolutely ok. If someone makes it to offend someone then its wrong and they should be called out for it (which has never been the case in this fanbase as far as I cant tell) It’s creative, it allows people create new desings for characters or adjust current ones for cosplayers or other artist. Im sure one of your mods can relate, since the do the exact same thing as we do while not addressing a certaint character properly by their canon pronouns. Genderbending does not promote the attack or harrasement of the trans community and that is a fact unless its done by actual problematic artist like Sh*dbase and others, which is still a stretch because I dont think they’ve done it to target people or make fun of them but they are the popular problem icons. So get the actual transphobes on the list, aka those who created the content specifically to harras a specific person, or remove the catergory entirely. Its unnecessary and hypocritical.

— The rest of these are just things that bother a lot of people in the community so if you only cared about minors being on the list then you dont have to continue reading. —

Tumblr is infamously known to be a shitshow of a site where all you can find is problematic content. If you dont like this kind of content, why the hell are you here in the first place? There’s a lot of safer websites to use where like instagram, twitter, amino, facebook, and more. They have actual filters unlike tumblr and finding content you dont like is a lot harder unless you are purposefully looking for it, and even then it could be a challenge due to shadow bans or privatized accounts. Tumblr has none of that, everyone knows it, all of those who dont like it try to stay away from it or use it very scarcely. Why do you think that most of these “problematic” artist/creators/consumers are here? Tumblr has always been its own weird realm, trying to make it anything else goes against what it stand for.

You’re crimes make are literal nonsense sometimes because you include such obvious personal attacks like “Made a literal essay defending GioMis” and “All kinds of awful stuff” as crimes. You added a few account because they message you about how ridiculous the whole ordeal is and you take to findind the slightest bit of “evidence” that can aid you into making them look bad. You know thats not a good reason right?? Even if it were, yall are even more guilty for committing acts of Liable and Defamation and you are choosing to for those you incorrectly put on the list, invluding the minors! Let alone hypocrisy but yall are tired of hearing that one.

Dont add other fandoms into this mess. The Hetalia fandom has been dead for more than 5 years and it aint none of your buisness. It has nothing to do with Jojo. Unless you plan on making more blocklist for ALL fandoms then, goodluck, though make em better.

Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure is a wonderful and yet problematic series, guess who’s fault it is... its Araki’s. Created a hilarious nazi character, nah its the fanbases fault for roleplaying such a funny character. Pedophilia and rape represented in Jojo and not treated seriously, nah its the fandoms fault for romanticizing it. Homophobia as character traits and degradation of women in Jojo, pfft nah f a n d o m s f a u l t for painting such “false” representations of the characters. Ah, but yall wont drop Jojo cuz that kid your trying to control media for wont drop it either. It is not your responsibility to create a childproof community when the show already has heavy themes. Its their caretakers/parents or the childs own responsibility.

I despise the argument “well Jojo is a 17+ only show so no kids allowed!” you might be right, but has that really ever stopped kids from doing anything?? It does the opposite, it creates a sense of overwhelming curiosity which leads to venturing unkown territory which they may or may not end up enjoying. The problem lies wether young teens are mature enough to watch it or not and judging by this whole fiasco, alot of the people, teens and adults, involved are not.

YOU ARE NOT JUDGE JURY AND EXECUTIONER AND YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO POLICE A MEDIA YOU DO NOT OWN OR TAKE RESPONSIBILITY INTO DOING IT FOR SOMEONE ELSE

I will give you this guys this, theres a few artist and creators that do belong there, very few as far as I could see and read into and some are missing since they are mostly on twitter instead of tumblr. But hey, I managed to find like 12 accounts that I probably wouldn’t like seeing the content of, and I found a lot of good accounts too. A hell of a lot more.

I know Im harsh and a total loser but y’all really gotta do some damage control and think ahead. Merely ignoring the fact that your movement cause a floodwave of hatred, deaththreats and suicide baiting is disgusting, adress it properly, dont condone it. Cuz Im yall wouldnt like 200+ messages of “Kill yourself you of lowlife degenerate. I dont like your the disgusting trash you like so I hope you rot in hell for the rest of your life” It isnt fun, a lot of people have received these, some are even worse and a lot dont even deserve it.

Run the list correctly, its a good idea, it could’ve been handled way better than this and you guys know it. This would’ve been great for 14 year old me not stumbling onto a lot of problematic ships when I first looked up Jojo and it can help many children in the community in the future, but you are ruiling out a majority of the fanbase with such vague and pointless rules as regular shipping and creative freedom. You are demonizing people who like basic shipping and different character desings, and that’ll scare them because they dont want tobe hated for something they like. Because a few biased opinions decided to rule out that what the kids liked is morally wrong and irredeemable. Cuz thats all I can see on the list with the exception of maybe a 12 people on the list. Thats all the rest of the JJBA community sees.

#jjbablocklist #probably getting added to the list now but I hope they read this fully #I cant believe I had to talk to a lawyer and judge just to see if shipping crimes were valid #of course they werent #I probably wasted my time but I needed to get this out

[faunusrights]

OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 8? IS IT 8 ALREAD- YEAH IT IS.

oh god its been 8 weeks already i dont like that these chapters reveal how much time im WASTING but c’est la vie as always lets put these assholes on blast:

moving SWIFTLY on!!!!!!!!!!!!

(also what do you mean ‘it’s the meat chapter’. wh. what meat. hello.)

She slumped back against uncomfortably warm stone, trying to tuck her feet back into the shade.

it’s a known fact that glynda is all Long all Angles and also a lot of Beef,

this is? the date, right? the date chapter? yes? all the chapters have been shuffled around i have NO sense of where i am because all thats happened for 7 chapters is ive been assaulted by lesbians but given the distant chanting of meat meat meat this must be the date.... right.........................................

OH THAT MEANS WE GET TO SEE CINDER’S DRESS NICE

Cinder’s smile flashed through Glynda’s mind, and she shifted against the stone wall, reaching for her Scroll.

my favourite thing is how whenever cinder and glynda think of each other its never not got crazy gay energy............. this is LITERALLY like the whole ‘i sleep next to a photo of my enemy’ deal!!!!!!!!!!! they’re both just attracted to dangerous (and also stupid) people, is the thing,

The Grimm swarmed, biting insects with snapping mandibles, their chitinous exoskeletons all scraping against one another with their constant, eager writhings.

YES thats some GOOD IMAGERY RIGHT THERE IF I DO SAY SO MYSELF UH-HUH

honestly i- OKAY LOOK I SAID IT BEFORE BUT I STAND BY HOW OFFAL HUNT IS SO VISCERAL... i love writing thats like............ kinda Uncomfy to imagine but also rly detailed and just rly digs into the gore and the grossness............ its GOOD CONTENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank god offal hunt just whaps u in the face w/ it like a damp sock,

we’re got a bit of slow start here which is a nice way to  slice the difference between earlier ‘gotta go fast’ glyn and this ‘actually i’m way out of my depth’ glyn. wow! i can BREATHE. and we havent had anything massively cheeky pop up yet which may be a new record all round

The ripples of its being reached Glynda with ease, consuming those of the smaller Grimm. It was dangerous. More dangerous by far, even out here among these ancient beasts.

mmmmmmmmmmm this is- okay slight spoilers but i presume this is hati? aka he who had like a handful of lines in the first version and was generally just... look hati was winner of The Most Vague award in the first version so i’m hoping its hati because i am CURIOUS ABT THIS BOY.................. who i coincidentally love. who is he? we’re not sure (yet) but i love him. its just a fact!

It wasn’t just consumption. It was desecration. Vile unmaking. The Grimm stripped away her flesh. Tasted of her marrow. Gorged itself on the gristle between her bones and peeled back her ribs to reveal the chasm within. It sucked the soul from her chest in a wash of red and agony that spanned centuries, each running over the raw meat of her like long, black claws—

I JUST LOVE THE WAY THIS SHIT GETS DESCRIBED ITS SO SATISFYING also i feel like there should be a tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiny fingerguns in here t e c h n i c a l l y but im not gonna cause its vague enough i can kiiiiiiiiiiiiiinda move on kinda slightly maybe

It felt like death itself had caught her in its massive maw, chilling her organs, reaching for the soul at the core of her.

OKAY FINE 👈😡👈

OKAY FINE YEAH THE REST OF THIS IS ALL CHEEKY FINGERGUNS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that said this is all RLY VITAL STORYTELLING and im rly glad we’ve got some expanded Glynda Lore because it was Lacking in the archived version... but now we’re full on until glynda backstory babey!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fear itself couldn’t touch her, and even as she thought this, she felt it drain away.

Her breathing slowed. Her body relaxed. Information trickled in, unburdened by emotion.

👈👈👈😡👈👈👈

glynda rly DOES only have half a braincell Huh

OKAY DATE TIME? DATE TIME? YES? MAYBE?????????????? god ive been looking forward to this stupid gay date for so long. EIGHT WEEKS. EIGHT.

A pause. “Are you familiar with the Hill of Roses Massacre?”

ah the return of the Plot (that Isnt The Gay Bit)

i was gonna Say A Thing, and then answered my own question, and then realised it’d be spoilers anyway. YAY SPOILERS! YAY NOT BEING ABLE 2 SAY ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah theres a lot going on here dsdjhgf

“Well, it was your class, so.” She couldn’t help but smile at the memory.

/ticks off ‘anything to do w/ ozpin’ off the bingo card, again,

“I’m afraid it’s a bit more complicated than that, Glynda. With this meeting on the horizon… I fear I would cloud your judgement.”

oz i love u and yr cryptic bullshit but this will not the first Nor The Last Time glynda and i are both exasperated w/ u. please. blease.

Ozpin had never misled her before.

👈😂👈

“I’m only following orders.” Written with the same implication as a wink. “Now, is there anything else I can help you with, Professor?”

i fucking adore winter schnee i’d DIE for her

i may have to make a spoiler version of this later because theres Some Shit being said here and i DIRELY have to expand upon it but that will have 2 wait dskfjsdf

When they saw she was human, they waved her through without any trouble.

i still feel like im being targeted for my url!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! U ASSHOLES,

As much as she could, Glynda tried to avoid the constant bump of shoulders and too-tight quarters. As large as she was, it was nearly impossible,

what did i say!!!!!!!!!!!!! we LOVE one beefy bitch!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(im literally getting SO excited for the date reveal im VIBRATING)

She still didn’t have much of an idea what waited within, but she had quite a few reservations about using the front door.

me: knows whats coming also me: glynda please

As a Huntress who’d been trained in both subtlety and stealth, Glynda had a few ideas.

The next person who stepped outside was thrown roughly aside,

ME: GLYNDA PLEASE,

you have no idea how often im just. i have my face in my hands. glynda’s never heard of a repercussion in her life. cinder once saw the word ‘consequences’ and broke out into hives. im. where’s the thinking-

And then she noticed Cinder.

here comes the peak gay im so ready HERE IT COMES-

Her hair was tossed over one shoulder as always, but in place of her usual crimson dress, she wore black tonight. Dark fabric with but a hint of iridescent specks rippled around her ankles, rising up to stretch tight across her hips. It rose all the way to the hollow of her throat and was cut to be sleeveless, though Cinder wore gloves of the same material that rose nearly to her shoulders.

HERE IT IS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my god u may know i drew a shitpost of this scene and now i Have to redraw it to be even Sexier!!!!!!!!!! also i know glynda could argue she’s being Observant but i also think, she’s a home of saxophone, and is gay,

LIKE ‘stretch tight across her hips’ WHY YA L O O K I N

Glass heels clicked over the dark stone floor as Cinder stopped right in front of Glynda, looking up at her from beneath lofty bangs. Gold eyes swept from the crown of Glynda’s head to the crop gripped so tightly in her hand—and then Cinder smiled.

there is No heterosexual explanation for this

Cinder clicked her tongue. “Well, now that you’re here, shall we?”

“Shall we…?”

“Glynda,” she chided, rolling her eyes. “Dinner, of course.”

IM LOSING MY MIND AAAAAAAAAAAAA THEY’RE LESBIANS HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HAROLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay. okay. this still isnt QUITE THE DATE CHAPTER BUT WE’RE RLY IN IT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im so scared that a whole chap has been saved for this meal because its going to be so long and charged w/ lesbian energy and its gonna kill me BUT OH WELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! anyway i loved it. the end.

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

[bonbonswirl-blog]

Broken

ALL THE CHARACTERS BELONG TO @brueklynn I OWN NOTHING. Because there is a character that we dont have any kind of idea about them, i will just go by 'another person' without any names or features, just a person XD i made this while having cold so it may seem a little off, try to enjoy Xd

11 pm

Behind a bar.

Thats what the letter said. Eyes lingered over the lines before the letter was lifted down to show the view of a big bar, was that really the place he was meant to visit? Only one way to find out. He entered the bar, rough paintwork that coats the door and push, shards of black paint crumble to the floor. The bar curved into a room, dark in the barely lit place, through the windows the diamonds of lead panes trickles the sallow light of street lamps. The hinges squeal as though they are a warning, but their plea is silenced by a wall of noise. Laughter overpowers the jukebox. Conversations swirl in a dirty cloud of smoke, the stagnant stench of cigarettes hides within the collaboration of mephitic odours. A sharp smell of drink wafts towards him, like black plumes bellowing from the windows of a burning house. There is even a hint of sick tainting the fragrance of the room.

He looked up and down, right and left, He cant find the sender of the letter, wait...Of course he wont! the letter said to meet Behind a bar! Now have he to find where is the back door that leads to outside. It took him long enought till he found it. trying the door knob, the heavy iron bound door swung open, revealing a wide area enclosed by a flimsy hain-link fence. The unrelenting darkness took over everthing, plucked the stars and anything that can glow, burying them beneath the sky. The air had thickened, the temperature dropped and nowhere was there a comforting sound. Trash cans leaning on the bar cracked walls, ground covered in dusty powder, what looked like a streetlight, which was the only one that isnt fully broken, flickered, casting an errie smudgy beam onto that black place. That wasnt really the...best place you could invite someone to meet you in...It was all quiet and derelict. He had the enough courgage to step forawrd, walking unusually slow, he had an odd gait, It was slightly lurching as he went, trudging along at a sedate pace. His head right and left, searching for who he was supposed to meet with, his mind focused on finding a sign of someone in this hopeless space rather than the footsteps that seemed to echo throughout the desolate yard, why didnt he just call the name to hear a respone? Maybe because it doesnt sound like a good idea to do so in this haunted place. Yet still, he kept finding his eyes diverting to something each moment he heard a low simple sound, darting to locate the source. Thats until, under those overwhelmed black shadows, and after a short stroll, he found who he was looking for, standing there uncommonly, under another bulb that lacks illumination. His boyfriend clicking his feet to the land underneath, probably out of pateince. Finally, harry found him! Walking towards his direction smiling. "Hey babe!" "harry..." "oh boy! why you gotta choose this place for a meeting? We could have gone inside the bar as usual, right?" Harry was still confused beind the sudden call at this late hour, but he didnt care. "Tonight we...not gonna drink at the bar." "uh, ok? So, why did you send this letter today? What are we going to do?" He pulled it from his pocket to show the proof. "Harry we....we need to talk." Not like this startled harry a lot, but it wasnt in an ordinary tone. "Sure! Talk away!" His boyfriend spoke with his head to the dusty ground. "You see...how both of us go together to do anything. to walk together, to talk to each other everyday, to work and help each other when in any of us in trouble, it was all nice werent it?" The sudden mention of their sweet times together was also strange. "Of course! And im glad I do all of these thing with you!" "and this is what I wanted to talk about tonight harry..." the fletcher paid his attention, waiting for his darling to start the conservation, he doesnt need to consider bad possibilties, instead he was a bit happy inside, what if those mentions were to remind the other of their constant affectionate attachment and celebrate 'something' together? That would be a lovely thing! It was tenser than a tiger who stalks a prey while harry lover peers his way to him, face resolutely unimpressed. "I think this..... relationship needs to...needs to....needs to end." Harry stopped like he had taken a bullet to the guts. The words fell on him like a storm. The cold air hitting his face.

"...What?......" He may just heard it wrong, he hoped he really did, he wished he did and this is not what his love just stated, doubt was filling him. "We need to end this harry." His boyfriend repeated, affirming his recent words. No, his hearing was right, thats what he just said... "What....W-What do you mean?!?" "What do you think I mean?" His lover raised his eyes to meet harry ones, so he would know he isnt just messing around. It took harry a while to speak again. "You dont really mean this..." "Do I look like I am joking?!?" Harry looked downward briefly. "but...But....I...I thought we loved each other..." "You Are Right!! LOVE'D'!! Its all from the past harry!!" Why would he say such a thing...his mind cycles through emotions faster than a kid flipping radio channels, he was broken. Harry couldnt accpet what is taking place, but what else is there to do? "dear you...I dont think you are in your right mind tonight..." "No!! YOU Are Not In Your Right Mind Harry!!! Didnt You See It?! This ISNT Working!!! It Never Did!! Now Go Away!!" "Wha-" "Go Away!!!" his words and his anger cut too deep that harry couldnt change the image of him. When he met his gaze his was just the same. "No" "Why Dont You Get It?! Go Away!!" "No I wont! you need to go back to your sanity!!" "Im In My Full Sanity! Just Go Away!!" "Not Until I know Whats Wrong!" "I Said GO AWAY YOU GARBAGE!!!!" Rising his fist, his hand swinging out connecting to harry face in a flash of pain. Although not on his back, harry toke a few steps back from the impact. Bewildered, pressing a pale hand to his cheeks trying to comprehend the previous seconds. Did..Did his..Did his boyfriend for the first time just....punched him?!

"You......." "I told you to go away." " I DONT UNDERSRAND YOU! WHY?! DID YOU CALL ME OUT TO THE BAR AT 11 PM JUST TO BREAK UP WITH ME?!" "yes, I Cannot keep this up any longer Harry, I needed to do it now." "Im Not Breaking Up With You Until You Tell Me The Reason!" "look At Me In The Eyes And Say You Still Dont Know The Reason!! I Dont Even Know What Got Me To Agree To Be With You!" With each little word... a piece of harry heart broke. "...how could you say this...what happened that changed you?...." "Changed Me?! YOU Changed Man!! I Kept Being Myself and Been Who I am While Keeping Our Connections Stable!! I Did Everything With And For You!! Even In Stupidest Things! And I Shouldnt Have!" "But Bab-" "I Hate You!!" "No-" "I Always Did! And I knew One day you willl hate me too!" Thats wrong. They both loved each other, they said it and showed it, all of these are just words from anger...so why all this nonsense about love and hate? Where had he gone wrong? Since when did this love turn to poison? He doesnt know what had climbed inside His beloved and turned him mad. "Stop!! YOU Need To Calm Down!" "NO!! And For The Last Time Go Away!!" "Not Until I know The Reason!!" "No You Wont Know Now Go Away" "I Already Said Not Until I know What Happened!!" "GO AWAY!" "NO!" "You Gave Me No Other Choice!!" Without thinking, harry boyfriend turned around to grab something from a near shelf. It was revealed to be a small bucket. However, when harry figured out the kind of liquid thats inside it, the intended message was already enforced, and he lost what little colour he had, starting to freak out.

"Dont you dare....." "Oh I will! I will throw all this bucket content at Your Face If You dont leave Me!!!!" The other man couldnt believe this..his lover cant do that...yes he may be out of his mind right now, but he will never have the nerve to throw some unknown chemicals straightly on his face, it was just an empty threat to leave. and all he could do was to stare lifelessly at the eyes that held that bucket and a terrifying coldness he had never seen before. He had always thought those eyes were like a gem, but looking at them now he could see no trace of the vibrancy they once held, no trace of the boy he once knew. "Darlin-" "DONT CALL ME DARLING ANYMORE!!" There was stillness on both sides, faces unreadable. "Please be back to yourself..." "Leave Me Alone! "Please!" "Your Last chance Harry....GO AWAY" "PLEASE!!" "THATS IT!" That was when the cold man lost it altogether, and the unexpected happened. In an immediate movment he launched forward, tossing all the liquid inside the bucket in an aim to harry head, although it wasnt a full success, he did strike a part of his face. Harry swore he could had saw some good memories flashing before his eyes. And whatever that scorching substance was, when it fell Againist Harry face.

He Howled

It Was Hell.

The pain had no culture, no pity, no mind, yet it consumed whatever it pleases. Its only criteria is if it can take it and reduce it to something molten and foul, paroxysm of agony triggered a guttural cry from the fluter. His hands clawed over his burning face, brutally gashed. Solvent swirls on it without any mercy, penetrating to the cells that should be protected by smooth skin but lie open. Surge of torments spirals all over him. Violent shaking forced through his whole body, with no assume of stopping. Monstrous chill continued running down his spine and made his ghostly skin crawl. Muscles going to giving up. The worst of the blood had spelled, ran freely in thick scarlet rivers amongst his whole face, staining his hair, matting them together before it soaked into his cloths and the floor. From a clear distance outside, it was like a high barking that carried well through walls and air. Lungs have no choice but to painfully and rigidly take in the chilled air around for a living breathe until they couldnt anymore. He have cried and screamed, maybe not evident, nevertheless it was as if he was calling for a help, but there was no help to come, perhaphs the strength in his voice perished. His breath taken away every second, he was in his greatest neccisity of taking an inhale.

Thats until he decided to surrender to the torturing and sink into the unfolded darkness.

He was in a heavy black cloud. Nothing to see, Nothing to hear, Nothing to feel, Just this heaviness in his whole body. He couldnt remember how to open his eyes, but when he did, he scrunched the opened one at the bright light that was sipping through his closed eyelid, in struggle he slowly opened it, desperately squinting in attempt to sharpen the blurred images before him. Pungent smell of hospital disinfect invading his nostrils. The room was silent apart from the beep beep sound you often hear in hospitals that indicates youre alive and Quiet talking. He started to sense something, or rather a material, soft but elastic tightening around his whole sore face, from chin to forehead, even one of his eyes were covered, it was very aching. When the sight of his survived eye arised, he perceived Someone bending over him, face watching his. What harry never toke notice of is that they are holding his weak hand, and that they have little tears in their eyes. The features were not clear, but it can be marked that they have a light brown hair and wearing something..blue? Harry attempted hardly to recognize who is this, but he coudnt with this wounded brain, then he heard the familiar word that assisted in that. "...Brother..." Harry tried to remember how to talk. No words came, he blinked trying to force his memory to recall the owner of this soft voice with broken tone. He was out of ability to even clear his throat. He tried to answer, to say something, but all what came out was a tiny whisper. "...augh....ma....rley?..." The other man wrapped his arms around the injured one shoulders and pulled him close, hugging him gently to not provoke the burn. "shhhhh...save your strength brother...it will be alright..." Marley had a hard time hiding his sniffs, but harry havent got enought focus to realize. His sibling tenderly patting his hand, giving a queit moment for the victim to adapt to the consciousness. Harry lie still, slowly started blinking, he wanted to see whats around him. But he cant lift anything off this deep pillow. He used the very bare left of his capability to move some little angles right and left for learing about his new surroundings. Glancing around the bright white coloured bedroom. He catched sight of someone wearing the same color for a coat, staring at him from the door. He strain to hear and makes sense of it all. No idea. Where is he and why? How long had he been here? He shut his eyes, trying to remember what had exactly occured. Then it all hits him with a bang, The memory of it all starts to occupy his thoughts, panicking he jolted up with rushing hands running at his bandages, making sure this is true, the wound hurting with every touch of his finger, he figured it all out.

He lived

He laid back in his bed, he felt powerless and heavier, Couldnt move his hands, head or bod, His eyes washed with the kind of emotion that only come when people break in ways with no way to be repaired. "Whoever did this bro...they are Not Getting Away With This!!!!" "Mr. Marley please calm down the patient is still in an unstable condition." Marley sighed, plummeting his head to the bed, holding his brother hand a bit tighter. "im sorry doctor...its just that..." He couldnt continue his sentence for some reason, instead he started a new one. "Harry...please get better...for your family...for your friends...for me...please..."

Harry spent the rest of his days in the hospital remaining still in the bed. His head eaither felt heavy or light. He lost the track of time and may needed somebody to tell him, but he never cared, he will let all the time pass without any hint of concern. He never felt that alone or empty before. Sometimes, he replay the events in his head and wonder what were the right words to say, what was it that could prevent everything, it wont change that he is all to blame. It might had been kinder to kill him than to constrain him with living beside this burn. Everytime he try to sleep and leave this living nightmare, he cant. He never had the enough hope to recover or be cured. He wont, he doesnt need, he already knows he will never get better, he will never be the same.

If only

if only...

If only he didnt go behind that bar at 11 pm.

#brueklynn #harry fletcher #marley meriweather

[idabbleincrazy]

Invisible Touch Ch.5

Pairing: Gabriel x Reader

Word Count: 2614

Warnings: um...pining?, like seriously, you might end up screaming “just kiss already!” other than that none that i can think of. 

Summary: y/n and Gabriel go to a bar in town and its karaoke day. 

A/N: I know I said I might do a time skip but this happened instead (gotta follow the muse where it goes, right?) and tough as it was to write, I had fun writing it. Song is from Moulin Rouge (if u have never seen it, u should!) Quotations in italics are the lyrics. I truly hope you guys enjoy this chapter! 

Y/f/a/d= your favorite alcoholic drink

You had finished your lunch with Gabriel without incident, finally able to have a conversation that didn’t leave you fumbling for words or wanting to flee in embarrassment. He had been quiet at first, watching you eat for a few minutes, and you had started to feel self-conscious. Thankfully, just as you could feel the flush starting to rise to your cheeks, he began talking. He didn’t further explain this morning’s upset, and you were loathe to bring it up either, so you decided to just let it go. The two of you carried on, talking about this and that, every now and then Gabriel reaching across the table to take a fry from your plate, dipping it into the chocolate frosty he had snapped up.

When you had finished eating, you continued to talk for about an hour, till you got a call from Sam asking you to go look up something in the library. You excused yourself and went to go find the book Sam had named. You quickly found the book, which was just within your reach and spent the next twenty minutes flipping through the pages and relaying the information, stopping every now and then to send him pictures of symbols that you couldn’t quite interpret. After hanging up, you put the book back and went back to the war room, slightly surprised to see Gabriel was still there.

“Boys need help with their homework” Gabe questioned, an almost annoyed smirk on his face.

“Yeah, seems they came across an older nest of vamps than they’ve encountered before. Sam said they’re stronger than the others they’ve fought, even the ones that aren’t pureblood. They got half of them before the rest made their escape. It might take an extra day to track down the rest.”

You sat back down at the table, propping your feet up. You considered something for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I’m getting kinda bored just sitting around here, want to go do something?”

“Like what?” Gabriel looked at you cautiously.

“Well, it’s five o’clock, somewhere right? How about we go to a bar, there’s one in town we haven’t been to yet.” You cocked an eyebrow at him as you spoke, wanting desperately to get out of the bunker for a while.

“Uh, sure. We taking one of the cars from the garage, or would you rather I just zap us there?”

“It would probably be best if you took us there. That way I don’t have to worry about driving back”, you respond, getting up from your chair to pull your phone from your pocket.

You quickly look up the address of the bar and an inconspicuous place for Gabriel to snap you to. You hand him your phone to look at the map and make your way around the table to where he is now standing. He hands you back your phone and grabs ahold of the sleeve of your shirt, careful not to brush against your skin, lest he cause another spark from the contact. You close your eyes as you feel reality shift around, and when you open them again you are standing in the alley behind the bar. The two of you walk around to the front of the building, Gabriel’s hand lingering on your sleeve, the warmth from his touch slowly sinking through the layer of fabric.

You walk in and stand in the doorway for a few seconds as your vision adjusts to the sudden dimness. As you look around, you are surprised by the rather sizable crowd in the bar. It may be Saturday, but its barely 2:30 in the afternoon, you weren't expecting the town to have so many day-drinkers. The bar is rather large, bigger than the other two you had already gone to with the boys.

As you and Gabriel head up to the bar, you notice why the place is livelier than you thought it would be. Set up at the back of the building is a stage with a banner over it reading Karaoke Saturday. When you get to the counter, you find a flyer and quickly scan it for the start time. It started in a hour. You figure all the early birds are getting a head-start on fueling up on liquid courage.

You order a (y/f/a/d) and Gabriel orders a Purple Nurple, at which you just shake your head, having heard the story of how the boys first met Gabe over a decade ago. He slams back the shot, orders another and tells the bartender to keep them coming as you go to find an empty booth. Gabriel sits down, handing you your drink as he sets down his second shot along with the beer he ordered. You quirk an eyebrow up at him.

“You never cease to surprise me, Gabe. Beer and a drink that’s basically a cranberry-vodka? Neither of those are particularly sweet. I’d have figured you'd order something with an umbrella.”

“Nah. When it comes to drinks, the simpler the better. ‘Sides, it takes a lot more for me to even feel a buzz, remember?” He took a swig from the beer, letting out a contented sigh as he set it back down and looked at you.

You nodded at him in slight wonder and took a sip of your drink. You noted that the bartender hadn't skimped on the alcohol like most other places do. You made a note to yourself not to drink too much too fast. Didn't want to go making a fool of yourself, now did you?

-------------------------------

An hour and two drinks later, you were feeling well relaxed as a man got up on the stage and announced the start of the karaoke, calling up the first person on the list. As the music started, you couldn't help but smirk as you recognized the beginning of The Offspring’s ‘You’re Gonna Go Far Kid’. It was one of the songs that never failed to make you think of Gabriel. You looked over at him to find him considering the stage with a wistful smile on his face.

You went up to the bar to get another drink, letting the music surround you. The guy singing wasn't half-bad, and it sounded nearly as good as the original. By the time you got your drink and headed back to the booth, the next person headed up to the stage. The opening guitar work of Pat Benatar’s ‘Invincible' rang out from the speakers as you sat down.

The power of the music and your third drink thrummed in your veins, making you bolder than you had thought possible at the moment. You considered yourself for a second before turning your attention to Gabriel.

“Hey, Gabe, you ever done karaoke”, you asked the archangel, a nervous flutter running through your chest.

“Of course”, he replied. “Hard to spend so many centuries down here and avoid that gem of human creation. Why do you ask?”

“Well, I was wondering if you'd like to do a duet with me”, you asked with hope in your eyes.

“Huh. Sure, cupcake. What did you have in mind?”

You flashed him a quick smile as you got up to find the sign-up sheet. “It's a surprise. If you don't know the words already, I'm sure you can just snap them into your memory.”

You signed the both of you up and went back to the booth, determined to be just buzzed enough to push back any lingering doubts and fears by the time they called your names. Over the course of the next half hour, you finished off your drink and two shots of whiskey, feeling pleasantly tipsy but still sober enough to talk without slurring. Your nervousness abated, you watched Gabriel closely as he consumed more Purple Nurples. As the current song faded, you straightened up and prepared yourself mentally, knowing you were next on the list.

The man came back on stage and called out your names. Gabriel got up first and reached a hand out to you to help you out of the booth. As your hands touched, instead of the electric shock you had experienced this morning, you felt a tickling warmth spreading from his hand to yours and up, throughout your body. You smiled up at him and the two of you made your way up to the stage.

The man in charge handed you your microphones and you waited for the song to start. As the name of the song appeared on the screen, Gabriel let out a small laugh and looked over at you. “Really, sugar?”

“What, it's one of my favorite movies! It makes a perfect duet.” You crinkled your nose and held in a giggle.

The two of you turned to face the bar patrons as the words to “Elephant Love Medley” showed up on the screen.

Hoping the crowd was buzzed enough not to care that the beginning of the song was more talking then singing, Gabriel began, taking of course, the part of Christian, while you would be his Satine.

“Love is many, splendored thing, love lifts us up where we belong. All you need is love.” His voice carried through the speakers, a voice that at the same time as being non-threatening, commanded to be listened to.

You gulped and quickly put on the British accent that you were quite proud of as you spoke out your part. “Please, don't start that again.”

Back and forth you went as the music kicked in. When the time came to actually sing, he turned to face you. You noticed he was acting just like Christian did in the movie, right down to the hand gestures, so you decided to do the same. Chuck knows, you've watched the movie enough times to have Satine’s part memorized.

You turned away from him at the line “You crazy fool, I won't give in to you” and back again at his spoken “Don't”, now fully immersed in the performance. What you hadn't expected was the way your heart clenched as you looked into his eyes as he softly sang out “dont leave me this way”. You took a breath as you quickly prepared for the next verse, praying your voice wouldn't be as shaky as you suddenly felt.

“You'd think that people would've had enough of silly love songs.” You managed to squeak out, thankful that this part of the song was softly sung in the movie too.

“I look around me and I see it isn't so, oh no.” Gabriel took a step toward you as he sang.

“Some people wanna fill the world with silly love songs.” Breathe in, breathe out, don’t look him in the eye.

Another step. “Well, what’s wrong with that”, step, “I’d like to know”, step, his hand reaching out to you and caressing your chin, nudging your face up to look at him, “’cause here I go, again.”

As his verse continued, you could feel the warmth from his touch spreading through you once more, your nervousness ebbing away and your heartbeat calming again. You stared back at him, leaning in to his touch, your resolve to see this through hardening. Smirking, you sang back at him.

“Love makes us act like we are fools. Throw our lives away, for one happy day.”

“We can be heroes”, he belted out, his hand sliding away from your chin, reaching up to tuck a stray lock of hair behind your ear. “Just for one day.”

Slipping back into the scene you were playing out, you turn away from him, shaking your head. “You, you will be mean.”

“No, I won’t.”

“And I, I’ll drink all the time!” You prepared for the next few lines, reminding yourself it was just a song, he was just performing for the crowd.

“We should be lovers”, he crooned.

“We can’t do that.” You looked back at him, your head cast downward, looking up at him through your lashes.

“We should be lo-oo-overs,” Gabriel grabbed your hand, pulling you around to face him, caught up in the song just as much as you were. “And that’s a fact.”

“No, nothing would keep us together.”

“We could steal time, just for one day.” The look in his eyes sent a shiver down your spine as you continued singing to each other, forgetting that there was anyone else in the room.

“We could be heroes, forever and ever”, your voices joined together in a delicious harmony that would’ve given Nicole and Ewan a run for their money.

As the operatic crescendo built up around you, you felt your heart thumping loudly in your chest and you could feel a tingle of electricity coming from his hand again. This time, it didn’t shock either of you but instead was gentle and soothing. Neither of you noticed when the music ended. You just stared at each other until the noise of the applauding crowd broke through and you let out a breath you hadn’t even realized you were holding. You smiled at Gabriel and quickly ducked your head as you felt a blush rising to your cheeks.

“Gabriel and (y/n), everybody!” The announcer came back on stage to retrieve your mics and the two of you headed back to your booth.

“Wowzers, (y/n), I had no idea you could sing like that! You should do it more often.” Gabriel looked at you warmly as you sat down. “Let me go get you something to drink, you must be parched after that performance. Another one of those?” He gestured at your empty glass.

“No, I’ll have a beer this time, thanks Gabe.”

As he went to get the drinks, you took the moment alone to contemplate the craziness that had just occurred. You were ecstatic that nothing had gone wrong up on stage, you had gotten through it without completely embarrassing yourself. But, those looks Gabriel had given you had thrown you for a loop. You were wary not to get your hopes up that the lyrics of the song had meant the same to him as they had to you. You were glad that the two of you were able to finally get along and didn’t want to push the issue and end up ruining everything again. Unfortunately, you also had a nagging curiosity about why his touch no longer shocked you, but still emitted a type of energy you hadn’t yet encountered with other angels. It might be because he was an archangel, but you had a feeling it went deeper than that.

You were brought back from your thoughts as you saw Gabriel coming back with the beers, and you smiled at him as he handed you one of them. “You know, you were pretty awesome yourself, up there. I guess I should’ve expected it though, seeing as how you are the archangel of languages.”

“Heh. Well, someone’s done their homework, haven’t they? And, yes, singing happens to be one of my many talents.” He flashed his flirty smirk and raised his eyebrow.

The two of you drank your beers and listened to the next three performers in silence, this time just enjoying each other’s presence, no trace of the normal awkwardness you usually felt. After you finished, you asked Gabriel to snap you back home, not wanting to travel past the mellow buzz you felt into the nauseously drunk category. Gabriel went and paid the tab and you walked out and back around to the alley you had arrived in. Once again, you closed your eyes as reality bent around you, waiting till you felt ground firmly beneath your feet before opening them again.

Gabe’s Babes: @liloldlou @calamitychaos

Rich’s Bitches: @warlockwriter @archangelgabriellives @green-draws0 @waywardtricks @hankypranky @briars-glenn @thewhiterabbit42

Invisible Touch: @somewhatnatural @missihart23 @whodoesntlovefanfics @baritonechick @nobodys-baby-now @marichromatic @black-angel-bahamut  

tags are still open.

#invisible touch #ch.5 #gabriel x reader #spn #gabriel #gabe #gabe x reader #spn fanfic