#yes I'm aware that me having these kinds of issues with this is because I have weird standards for verisimilitude to be maintained

[pansear-doodles]

Ten things about the way i was raised:

1. Im not white. Im not american nor european. Im a filipino. No english ties- im fully native and lived in my country all my life. Somehow i can only speak english. No- they dont really teach us about US slavery and other global stuff until late high school and college (with the exceptions of history stuff that actually has something to do with the build and association of our country). No- I am not a politics person and I'm interested in cartoons rather than our grim reality. No- i didnt have much self awareness because all i cared was having a fun time.

2. I think i am stupid. Im not diagnosed in anything officially but i know im neurodivergent, as my list of interests are usually deemed "immature". Parents kept saying i was fine until i realized in senior high "oh ive been groomed for five years during my most crucial ages, depressed, have bare socialization, anxious all the time and possibly have aspergers". So yeah im a mess. My parents were no Chilli and Bandit. In fact, they didnt really interact with me much- always busy with work and lended me to babysitters and cousin mingling. I was a simple-minded kid who did not care about the atrocities that happened outside of this bubble.

3. A lot of things important to my political view and moral compasses had to be built from the internet. Simple stuff like "be kind to others so they will be kind to you"- yep that surface level courtesy stuff is there i learned through school. I knew racism was bad and uncomfortable though when i was elementary and I wasn't one to participate in home wreckage and other middle school naughty stuff. I followed orders as to not get punished and I believed in good (and eating clouds). I wasn't the most intellectual kid at school- all i cared about was the next episode of Fragglerock and maintaining an honors role so i dont piss off my parents.

4. Yet, despite my simple-mindedness that I can compare to Laios Dungeonmeshi, I somehow wounded up in a government science highschool which was... A horrible experience as I didn't share interests with anyone there. Everyone else was so different. I had no friends and I knew the people hated me because they did this cruel joke at a christian recollection- for everyone in a class to make notes to someone- whether positive or negative. Most of the notes I got were negative. I dont recall any good memories in highschool at all and it took a horrible mental toll on me. I wasnt actively bullied but I sure felt very unwanted.

5. The internet was practically my guide to how to life and even then i used it for entertainment. Parents only cared about tutoring me- talking about my grades and making friends with people in my class i dont like just to get by. And most of all, they always talked about my weight. My mother always compared me to other kids. I always ignore her but shes done this for decades. I still live under her roof. Whenever i try to ask her about stuff, she ignores it. She always reverts it to being about school or my weight. She's a wall. My dad on the other hand- hes just careless. He has anger issues and doesnt know how to take care of himself. Always fights with my mom. They never took me to therapy and or assign me to medication until i argued and fought for it a year ago.

6. Did i just casually say i was groomed for five years? Yeah. It was around when fnaf 1 was out. Met this guy when i was like 14 and admitted to him when I was 15. He was nine years older than me. I stooped to him. Vented constantly to him. Depended on him for validation and all that. I even exposed myself to him at 17. Didnt stop me or anything. Nobody else did or questioned it except a cousin who tried and a random person who played transformice. Will i say its fucked up nobody tried stopping me? Yes. Yes it was. But i dont blame them. It was all up to my groomer and I was under his manipulation and teachings and "normalizations" for years. As you can see, this really fucked me up. No. Im not telling his name, but if you can figure it out then congrats- dont harass him. It gave me a warped view on how people treat me and how i see other grooming situations (the many media that tackle implied grooming went over my head completely all the time until someone outright states it)

7. So how was i able to figure it all out and get the fuck out? I saw him faving nsfw art of a character who was a minor. Had an argument with him and it is within the weeks after i took off did i realize "oh. I was groomed." No. It wasnt somebody telling me this. I had to figure this shit out on my own that it was grooming. I was about 18 or 19 when I found out. Are you starting to see how fucked up i am? Having to only rely on myself and the little advice on others to live life? And i still do that, except people will shout at me first expecting i know this stuff beforehand because im an adult, instead of kindly nudging me.

8. So why do i never talk about this? Dont want the tragedies to make my identity. Id rather talk about funny fictitious characters finding their own happiness rather than having it all focus on my boring miserable life. I live off and breathe in fantasies. To become engrossed in something we cannot have and be in real life was my everything. Amidst this, it took me a while to realize my gender identity and myself as a person. It was only last year did i realize im genderfluid, and few years ago i was bisexual. My parents, being catholic conservative christians who use "gay" as one-note descriptions on the minority folks that they meet, would never talk to me about this. Hell, when i first did, they told me its taboo to talk about it. (And very recently i found out theyre accepting of gay people but... Are transphobic?????)

9. My personal motto has always been that real life is boring, miserable, awful and just generally shit. Exploring into fiction has always been my escape- an escape from whatever the fuck went wrong with me and whatever harsh issues i had to deal with growing up. Im always surprised of the memes and stuff i laughed at as a kid were actually discriminatory and racist and whatever holes that fill me with such ignorance. Fractions, they could teach me math all the time, but they never taught me to be self-aware, all when they expected me to. I couldnt read the room. If 16 year olds are smart in political stances, then me as a 16 year old would be the equivalent of a ten year old putting glue on his hands without much care about our economic crisis. Im not saying these childlike qualities of mine were bad- but it came at these costs. I was completely air headed and reality came crashing to me like a truck and angry people expecting that I shouldve known better when I didnt and couldnt have before then.

10. Now im in my 20s. Im expected to know college, taxes and adult stuff. Im expected to be more social. To be more uncomfortable right away. Im in this fandom where every fucking step could be a minefield. Every fandom was. Nobody cares about where you come from right? People always default you as someone who had the same experiences at you until you start to tell them how fucked up your life is and suddenly oh wow things make sense- for how they act, think, respond, believe. The idea of me walking around with the label of "grooming victim" at all times to explain my behaviors is a disgusting and cruel idea.

"You shouldve known this because youre an adult" this. "You shouldve known better" that. The ability to understand people is dead if you will continue to assume every person who walks before you went through the same life experiences as you.

So now do you know a major reason why the rain world fandom and shipping container was so significant to me? It was my second ever fandom with a concious mind after having realized a majority of my teenage years were robbed from me, and realizing how fucked up it all was.

#sorry this is heavy #vent #thoughts #grooming mention #ask to tag

[lighthouseas]

i need to start getting off tumblr more and going outside (not right now though it's raining) this shit is starting to flare up my anxiety

#um. tw for discussing my undiagnosed mental health issues in the tags ? #but anyway it is to the point where i am sent into spirals over every little thing #and i think every thought i have is evidence of me being a horrible person and so then all of my thoughts start contradicting each other ? #it's really weird. #and then i panic and think i'm going to end up hurting someone by accident. or someone will see my thoughts and call me out #and yes i am aware these are all symptoms of ocd and that i need a therapist we just can't find one atm 👍 #but. anyway. i really kind of need a break from here because it's really warping my perception of reality #even blocking people who trigger these thoughts hasn't helped because then i feel guilty and scroll through their blogs again so i can #make sure i'm being morally sound. or. something i don't know but it sends me into spirals even MORE and i can't stop #anyway. idk if i will actually leave ? but just a general psa ig. #bee.txt

[boyfrillish]

So tonight I finally started playing pkmn sword because I cleared UltraMoon recently and I’ve been SO excited to start, already sensed that Victor is at the high tiers of favorite and Hop/Victor is OTP and what can I say, I’m about 2.5 hours in after playing pretty much without pause, and my sense was RIGHT and I’m having a great time so far, I’m enjoying it immensely, I love everything about it and I couldn’t stop giggling pretty much the whole time (well, through all the events at least dgsfdgf)

#frillishtxt #it's no surprise that I love Victor because I am a boyprotag enthusiast and boyprotag x rivalboy is always my preferred ships #but the level to which I sensed? let's just say about on a scale with HughNate which is THE otp & nate being the special fave #yes i am very aware about all kinds of issues and whatnot with sword/shield but who cares! hello my new favorite thing <3 #I picked grookey in the end and I adore him ;w; #also sidenote I already decided some time ago that Victor is transmasc lol he joins nate hilbert red lucas and ethan #I talked about that on twt the other day. transmasc nate is fixed headcanon for me #the others aren't as definitely fixed but still it's in my headcanon lores. Victor may be joining Nate with the ''definitely fixed'' #at this point... since he's already sneaked his way to same fave tier as nate and i had the sense already in advance... #anyway! enough rambles! I have SO MANY thoughts just from the very start of the game and don't know where to go with them! #it's getting late but I'm just aaaaaaaaa I'm loving this game and I'm happy and looking forward to continue and figure out my team and all

[robotsprinkles]

okay

I do like earthspark overall

but god I wish for once we could get a tf show (or just. anything) that doesn't do the "humans are better than Cybertronians at everything" bit.

In Earthspark's defense, it's not TFP.

MECH and Silas somehow being able to make an optimus clone and fight better than Optimus himself with it is idiotic on so many levels and I have no idea how they thought it was good writing.

(yeah sure Optimus has been fighting a war for four million years and 1v1s Megatron on the regular and knows the ins and outs of his body and has all the wisdom and knowledge and skill bestowed by the matrix but some jackass military prick who's at most got 50 years of combat experience controlling a second rate knockoff with what's basically an arcade control stick can kick his ass without trying)

okay before anyone gets pissy at me for saying Earthspark did the "humans are better than Cybertronians at everything" bit, I'm being mostly hyperbolic, and also: (this gets long and rambly so I'm putting it under a readmore")

I'm mostly saying Earthspark did the bit because GHOST and Mandroid were both unreasonably effective at defeating and capturing Cybertronians, on top of being able to mind control them.

(I really don't like humans being able to defeat Cybertronians on any consistent basis unless it's like. a motorcycle or minicon or micromaster getting hit by a bunch of HEAT rounds or 120mm sabot or a prolonged barrage of 20-30mm autocannon fire or specifically anti-Cybertronian weapons like inhibitors and mode locks and EM/EMP blasts and the like because then it just makes it seem like Cybertronian weaponry is on average about as effective as a nerf gun. but then you get the issue of "if humans have such effective anti-Cybertronian weapons that can incapacitate a Cybertronian in one shot why aren't the bots and cons using them instead of blasters that seem to do piss-all against anything that's not point blank")

I'm willing to give ES some leeway on the "can mind control Cybertronians despite that generally being something only people with powers or specific weapons for it can do (like Mindwipe and Bombshell and sometimes Soundwave and mnemosurgeons if you want to count them)" thing because GHOST did have Bombshell in custody and could prooobably have acquired cerebro-shells to study and experiment on. (though I don't remember if Mandroid ever had any time with Bombshell so. if he didn't then screw that, leeway lost). but also if cerebro-shells are as easy to reverse engineer as that you'd expect the Autobots to have already come up with a defense against them. Perpetual arms race and all that.

Personally, I'm not fond of humans being able to reverse-engineer Cybertronian tech and anatomy like it's nothing because I really don't care for the sci-fi trope of humans' thing being "we're so clever and smart and adaptive and so much better than all alien races at learning and improving". It's overdone and the positioning of humanity as special and/or unique that a lot of sci-fi does annoys the hell out of me

(Tangent time) as an example for why I think the "humans can reverse engineer any alien tech ever" trope is stupid and bad (sci-fi) writing: if an alien race had gravity manipulation tech that operated via graviton manipulation, (modern) humanity would flat out have no idea how it worked — even if this was a version modern humanity that universally accepted gravitons as real — unless they had the documentation from the aliens explaining that's how it worked, because "Unambiguous detection of individual gravitons, though not prohibited by any fundamental law, is impossible with any physically reasonable detector [...] a detector with the mass of Jupiter and 100% efficiency, placed in close orbit around a neutron star, would only be expected to observe one graviton every 10 years, even under the most favorable conditions. It would be impossible to discriminate these events from the background of neutrinos, since the dimensions of the required neutrino shield would ensure collapse into a black hole" (yes that's from wikipedia but it's also true (enough for the purposes of this dumb argument. if physicists want to tell me the ways this statement is wrong in any way please do I want to learn things)) (tangent over)

obviously Cybertronian anatomy doesn't function off anything similar to gravitons (in that canon has never said Cybertronian brains or sparks or anything contain or use unprovable or undetectable (to human) particles) (though you might be able to make an argument for Energon being something like that) (it generally seems human organisations' ability to detect Cybertronians is gained from Energon detecting tech given to them by Cybertronians so)

But. y'know. There's saying "1940s humanity could probably reverse engineer a Ferrari" and saying "13th century medieval Europe could definitely reverse engineer an F-35"

#random robot rambles #I'm pretty sure this is stupid crap that no one cares about and whatnot but I'm an idiot so #(yes it's a kid's show but pretty much every piece of tf media does this in some way) #for all my issues with AHM (which are many) at least the characters and their weaponry are properly powerful #I don't think I'll ever not like that one panel of the cons all standing unfazed by a squad of F-22s' 20mm cannonfire #yes I'm aware that me having these kinds of issues with this is because I have weird standards for verisimilitude to be maintained #for instance if a character dies or gets defeated because they did some stupid move (as in egregiously bad technique) for no reason #and they're meant to be a highly trained combatant #I instantly check out and start insulting the character for being an idiot #(examples of stupid moves in sword combat are unnecessary spin moves and blatant telegraphs like hammer blows and/or leading with the hands #or even elbows instead of with the blade) #(I'll forgive hand-leading and telegraphs a little in live action because it helps keep actors safe #but if it's animated then I don't)

[thatlittleegyptologist]

Out of curiousity, do you think most national museums are participating in the same kind of thing that the British Museum is, i.e. holding onto items that they stole in conquest / archaeological items that other nations are requesting back?

I always wonder if we should be looking at the bigger picture rather than just this one spotlighted issue (not that the spotlight isn't important in raising the issue originally).

oh goodie we're digging up stuff I wrote from 2 years ago...yay

Okay, for starters, let's look at how you've phrased your question. Currently, the heavy implication is that this is all the BM is (i.e. it only holds colonial loot and contested items), which is false. Yes, it does hold colonial loot from the British Empire. No one is disputing that. It also holds contested items such as the Parthenon Marbles and the Rosetta Stone. What it also holds are many items taken from digs where the country in question permitted them taking them, and then also gifts and other such non colonial requisitions.

Mostly, I need to stress, because as someone who's adjacent to museums this drives me insane: Framing all museum collections as Bad and only containing Bad Items from Bad Deeds doesn't give you the full picture and if you don't have the full picture you can't really address the issue of repatriation properly. It's the classic 'All or Nothing' mentality and I'm begging people to seek nuance on complex topics such as this. Also governments suck and so hearing repeated 'well museums suck because XYZ' means they're more than happy to simply defund them, which they already are doing and that's not helping stuff like repatriation either.

In short, if you're asking does any other museum have a law like BM63 (I wrote 68 in the post because...I'm bad at numbers)? Not as far as I'm aware, no. The BM is unique in that instance where the government literally created a law to prevent it from divesting of its collection.

Do other national museums hold colonial looted artefacts and contested items? Yes. Lots of them. All over the world.

Germany's Neues Museum holds the bust of Nefertiti, which is contested.

The Louvre in Paris has multiple Italian artworks that were stolen in the 1790s that Italy wants back.

The Horses of St Mark's (in Venice) were stolen from Greece by Constantine in the 1200s. (Not really all that contested but they were definitely stolen).

Yale University holds numerous items from Machu Picchu. The 1911 dig had permission from the Peruvian Government, but the items were supposed to be returned. I believe (don't quote me) that less than half were originally. They have subsequently been returned, but this is not an uncommon story.

There's a bunch of Nazi looted artworks that are in museums that need to be returned to their rightful owners.

The MET museum in the US and everything it got from Douglas Latchford (this is ongoing, with some repatriations having already happened)

The National Museum of Australia also got caught out by that guy.

To be fair, the MET Museum has a problem with looted artefacts in general from the 70s onwards as they tried to compete with the European collections and thus ended up gaining a lot of 'not properly provenanced artefacts'. There was a gold sarcophagus they returned only recently that was looted from Egypt post-2011.

The Bible Museum in the US has...stuff it shouldn't (there's a lot and I'm not listing it).

*voice dripping with derision* Whatever the Hobby Lobby is up to

I could go on!

Focusing solely on the BM is a result of a US-Centric mindset, and a pervasive anglophone bias in things people will read. (Or in other words: It's fun to shit on the Brits and most of you only read English anyway.)

This has the unfortunate effect of making it seem like the BM is only museum in the world doing this, and they're not. Not in the slightest. Many museums, national or not, will have colonial looted items if that country has, at any time in the past, waged expansionist wars against other nations, no matter how brief. If your local museum has artefacts from Not Your Country there's a good chance they were looted! Again, I stress that many many artefacts that left places like Egypt were part of agreements with the Egyptian government (called partition agreements) whereby the Egyptian government took first pick of artefacts from a dig and then the dig organisers could take the rest. This hasn't happened since UNESCO World Heritage Convention 1975, which prohibits new artefacts from leaving countries which is also why I will bonk on the head with a cardboard tube anyone who says Archaeologists/Museums are still stealing things.

So yeah, if you're looking at repatriation, you'll be much better looking at the bigger picture and understanding how all this came to be in the first place than you'll ever be making memes about the BM stealing things on the internet.

[ftmtftm]

Do you really think its more plausable that a TERF knows the specific details of the Baeddel discourse so well that they can craft the perfect copypasta that refrences all the nuances of internal trans discourse (which I'm sorry but they don't really understand anything about our community) in such a way as to be the maximum level of offensive to the other side than the alternative, that there exists on this site a trans man capable of sexually harassing trans women who disagree with him? I

Are all trans mascs sexual harassers? obviously not. Are you responsible for that guy's actions in any way? No not at all. But I find the inistance that any sexual misconduct or transmisogyny purported to be from a trans masc is an outsider troll to be very off putting from the perspective of a trans woman. I think there is a problem of trans women being treated like sex objects by the broader trans community, (enby's trans mascs etc). The problem will never be resolved if we can't even aknowledge it exists without getting shouted down.

Yes actually because that is what Radfems on Tumblr do and have done and will continue to do for literally the entire time I've been on Tumblr.

Just being completely clear - I mentioned this already but to be extra extra clear - It was not even my original idea that it was probably a Radfem and I've directly said that. I honestly thought it was probably one of the trans guys that white knights extremely hard against the idea of transandrophobia trying to cause shit because of the typing style.

It was in fact my trans fem ex-gf and current very close friend who I still live with, who suggested to me that she thought it was a Radfem. And you know?

Her reasoning combined with my experiences with TERFs actively trying to recruit my friends and I into Radical Feminism because we're actively Feminist trans mascs - it would make a ton of sense.

You have probably not experienced this because you are not a trans masc, but there is absolutely a subgroup of Radfems on this website that try very hard to learn about trans infighting as a way to target trans mascs for recruitment.

Trans masculine people have HUGE targets on our back for Radfem recruitment on this website. It's something I've literally personally seen people fall into and detransition for. Radblr actively loves to target vulnerable, politically vocal trans mascs as recruitment targets, especially doing so by trying to pit us against each other, especially by trying to pit us and trans women against each other.

It's scary as hell. It's also not a new thing by any means. Like, "This has been happening consistently at least since 2015" level of not a new thing. So, I've learned to become very aware of it because I'm a trans masc who is a Feminist advocate who actively studies the history and tactics of Radical Feminism in order to protect myself and other trans people from it.

I'm also sorry, but there was literally an anon like that that went around trans masculine blogs a few months ago. Exactly the same premise but flipped in a "transandrodorks need to be fixed by being impregnated with girlcock" kind of deal. There was an almost immediate "we need to assume this isn't actually a trans fem and assume that it is a troll" response both internally and externally. If any of us had assumed it was actually a trans fem in the same way and projected our pain at trans fems in the same way this is getting projected onto trans mascs...? Could you imagine? The double standard would be insane.

I know this is something coming from a place of our own hurt, but where the hell was any of our support during that? What were we supposed to do besides assume that it was probably a troll? Like those are hypotheticals without real answers, but come on? You know?

Of course anything is possible. No one knows who that anon actually was. And it is an issue the way trans women are sexualized by the community, especially right now on Tumblr. It deserves to be addressed. But not in the weeds like this.

I believe what I believe based on what I know and the thoughts and feelings of people I trust. You can dislike that, you can even disagree with that, but a stranger coming into my askbox with a condescending tone isn't really going to contest my lived experiences or the shared opinion of someone I've known for the better part of a decade that easily.

#asks #ununitednations

[sagesskies]

ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ꜱᴘɪʀɪᴛ

✒ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴅᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴘᴀʀᴛ

☏ - ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ: ᴍʀ. ꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱɪɴᴄᴇʀᴇʟʏ ᴀᴘᴏʟᴏɢɪᴢᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇʟᴀʏ ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛ 2 ᴏꜰ ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ ᴠɪᴄᴛᴏʀʏ ɢᴏᴅ, ʜᴇ ᴀꜱꜱᴜʀᴇꜱ ʏᴏᴜ ɪᴛ ɪꜱ ɴᴇᴀʀʟʏ ꜰɪɴɪꜱʜᴇᴅ. ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍᴇᴀɴ ᴛɪᴍᴇ, ᴇɴᴊᴏʏ.

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ɪɴᴄʟᴜᴅᴇꜱ: ᴍᴇɴᴛɪᴏɴꜱ ᴏꜰ ʜᴏᴍᴏᴘʜᴏʙɪᴀ, ᴄʜᴇᴀᴛɪɴɢ [ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ɪꜱ ʜɪꜱ ʙᴇᴀʀᴅ], ꜱᴡᴇᴀʀɪɴɢ, ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ, ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ, ꜱᴍᴏᴋɪɴɢ, ɢʜᴏꜱᴛ ꜱʜᴇɴᴀɴɪɢᴀɴꜱ, ᴠᴇʀʏ ᴍɪʟᴅ ꜱᴇxᴜᴀʟ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ, ᴅᴜʙᴄᴏɴ, ᴛᴇʟʟ ᴍᴇ ɪꜰ ɪ ᴍɪꜱꜱᴇᴅ ᴀɴʏᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴇʟꜱᴇ!

Yandere Spirit who was your secret boyfriend in high school. A forbidden romance between two youths, who often got to keep their secret because it’d always be excused as just ‘Boys being boys’. He was the most popular boy in school, his older brother was just as popular, but he was even more so. 

Yandere Spirit who was good looking, kind hearted, intelligent, and athletically talented as well. You never knew how you were able to get with a guy like him, you were simply another guy on the track team, and he was not only the team’s star but also the captain. 

Yandere Spirit who was possessive of you, even in life. He’d always claim you as his partner for group projects, even if there were smarter kids in class, and whenever there was an opportunity he'd always insist you wear his track jacket that had his last name on the back. 

Yandere Spirit who still dated other girls, and you tried not to mind so much. They were just a cover, he told you that and you knew it to be true, both of you were aware of what happened to gay boys in this town. He understood more than you, because his older brother Tommy was one of them, and he ran away when he was seventeen. 

Yandere Spirit who remains oblivious to how much his behavior with his girlfriends bother you. You never liked how he was always so physically intimate with them. Yeah, it'd be expected of a couple but did he have to do it so much? God, you can't bear to watch this.

Yandere Spirit who always notices how you distance yourself from him whenever he has a new girlfriend, and one day confronts you about it.

“Cmoon, [Name], why won't you just tell me!” Raphael practically whines, he refused to let go of your hand. You were both part of the track and field team but with his strength you'd argue he could be a football player. 

When you still didn't reply, he huffs, looks around to see if anybody else was around, then pulls you in close, perching his head on top of yours despite your protests. 

“Please babe?” God you never liked it when he called you babe, but you let him anyway, “Tell me what's bothering you…” He sounds like he's near to tears but you keep your lips shut.

“Raph, seriously I'm fine,” You insist, even though you're really not. 

The whole day, you had to hang around Raphael and his new girlfriend. It wasn't so bad, Raph made sure that you were included in the conversation and his girl, Cheryl you think her name was, was actually very nice. 

Your problem with the situation was seeing your boyfriend being all sweet and cuddly with his new beard the same way he always was with you. Well, there was the fact that he was technically cheating on you- But that's not the big issue here! 

Unfortunately for you, you shared a good quarter of your classes with the two lovebirds, and eventually you just distanced yourself from them till you were able to handle the sight of the two of them together. 

Even more unfortunately, was Raph's clinginess to you. When he saw you start to drift away, he immediately pulled you back in and when you decided to just ignore them as best as possible without looking rude, he caught on to that too. 

“Ugh, I know you're lying [Name],” Raphael pouted, “Come on, remember how we promised each other no secrets between us? Don't tell me you forgot!” 

You rolled your eyes, “Anybody would forget Raph, you made me say it in the 2nd grade.” 

“Still!” He protested, “Just tell me already [Name].” You could feel his grip get tighter around you, he was getting impatient. 

“Was it something I did?” Yes. 

“Does it have to do with Cheryl?” Yes. 

“Oh come on, don't tell me you're jealous of her!” It was Raph’s turn to roll his eyes, “Babe you know I'm only using her as a cover.” 

You glared at him, “Doesn't mean you have to be so touchy with her.” 

“She's my new girlfriend,” He used air quotes when he said the word girlfriend, “Gonna have to act like I’m head over heels for her to sell the act.” 

You knew he was right, he was saying the exact same things you told yourself whenever you tried to stop the ugly green monster that was envy from rearing its head. 

“Besides, don’t you think you kinda deserve it?” 

Your eyes widen, and you frown, “What? What do you mean?” Raphael shrugged, “I mean, you’re always tusslin’ and getting all up close with the other guys in the team,” His voice had a bitter edge to it, “I’m your boyfriend,” His hold on you strengthened, “It’s like I’m forced to watch you feel up all these other guys when the only ass you should be groping is mine.” 

“Do you hear how silly you sound right now?” You deadpanned, “It’s just guys being guys, most of us have been wrestling each other since we were kids.” 

He groans, “Ugh, but that doesn’t change that they still get to touch you so much!” 

You sigh, perhaps you and him weren’t so different after all. Not when both of you were so petty as to get jealous because of just, a really plain stupid reason. 

So you pat him on the back, and comfort him like you would a child throwing a tantrum. Till he stops whining, and you apologize to each other, then you continue to pretend that it doesn’t bother you when he presses a kiss to a girl’s lips, when he holds her hand, or even plays with her hair. 

And you pretend like he’s not playing with your heart. 

Yandere Spirit who you watch as he competes with his brother Gabriel over your younger sister, a popular junior who was vice-captain of the cheerleading team. Sometimes when he kisses you, you can’t help but think that this is the same tongue that flirts with your sister. 

Yandere Spirit who you accompany when his brother tells him to meet in the woods near Varenway cliff. Sure he was told to go alone, but you never trusted Gabe, he was always too intense for your liking. It was why he’d never be as popular as his brother. 

Yandere Spirit who you can only watch as he gets into a fight with his brother, held back by the stronger arms of Gabe’s football teammates who tease and mock you all while assuring Gabe won’t hurt Raphael too badly.

You thrash in their grip like a wild animal refusing to be caged, you kick at their feet, try to slam your head back into their stupid faces, but regardless of your attempts you are still stuck. 

“Let go of me, you assholes!” You practically spit. 

One of them, your classmate Sam Moss, sneers at you, then turns to his friend, who you recognize as Luke Herring, “Should we let [Name] go Luke?” 

Luke lets out a dumb laugh, “Huhuhu, naahh,” His tone is calm like an afternoon breeze, but his eyes are filled with only malice, “I don’t think we should Sam.” 

You click your tongue and tune out the rest of their words, they think they’re so intimidating just because they hang around Gabe, who nobody dares to pick a fight with, but they’re nothing more but tiny little pups who think the wolf’s shadow is their own. 

Instead you focus your gaze onto Raphael, who moves quicker than Gabe, but whenever a hit is able to land, it lands hard. Your heart clenches when you see the newly forming bruise above Raph’s brow, his busted lip, but you force yourself to remain silent. Raph can handle himself, and you hated to admit to it but Sam and Luke were right, Gabe may be dumb but he wasn’t that dumb to let Raph get seriously hurt. 

But still, for every hit that Raph gets in, Gabe lands another solid punch. Raph’s blood stains Gabe’s fists, and his beautiful face is marred. Gabe himself does not even need to catch his breath, the only evidence of exhaustion is a light sheen of sweat. 

You feel a sharp tug on your head, and you wince, Luke grabs your hair and has a look of anger on his face. 

“Little shit, fuckin’ pay attention to us damnit!” His spit flies in your face, and you grimace, “Should fuckin’ teach you a lesson for such disrespect.” 

Sam cackles like a hyena, “Ha! I don’t think Gabe would mind us roughin’ this arrogant prick up a bit,” In his eyes there is a hunger for violence, and you suppress the urge to shiver, you get what your mother means now when she says that men are like animals. You’ve never felt more like prey before now. 

You try to ignore them, and the fear that slowly builds in your chest, to get one last glimpse at Raph. But all you see is his head hanging low, and being grabbed by Gabe, whose bruised hands are curled tightly around his collar, before you are thrown down into the floor, and Luke gets on top of you. 

His sleeves are pulled back, and he draws back his fist for a punch, but before he can Sam who is still watching the fight, gasps, and Luke turns to see what has happened. Their eyes widen, but all you can hear that tells you of what just happened is a distant sickening crunch. 

Luke gets off of you and both he and Sam run to Gabe, who is looking down the cliff. Where is Raph? 

You get up, legs shaky for a bit before you steel your resolve and steady, you voice your thoughts, “Where's Raph?” 

When you get no response, the fear that was building from the fear of Luke getting his meaty hands on you is now growing from the possibility that Gabe let his anger get the best of him. At the thought of it, it is not only fear budding within you, but also anger. 

You march over to Gabe, and with strength you didn’t have before you grab him by the back of his collar and turn him around so you and him were now eye-to-eye, “Did you push him off, Gabriel?” Your voice is shaky, from fury, from anxiety, from both, you do not know. When you receive no response, you grit your teeth, and shake him violently, “Answer me, you bastard!” 

Gabriel’s eyes go wide, and his mouth parts but there are no words that leave his lips. But then he nods, and your sudden burst of strength fizzles away, and your hands let go of him. You walk, one step backward, another, and then another, and you fall on your own bottom, and your hands go to your head. Raph loved to do the same thing, hand going to the top of your head and holding it gently, sometimes just laying there together, his hand on your head and both of you quiet together.

You cannot let them see your tears, you cannot. But the dam breaks, and you start to sob. 

You hear them speak, Gabe, Sam, and Luke. However, you don’t want to listen to them. They killed him. Sam and Luke had less blood on their hands, but they were the ones who restrained you. If they didn’t then- Then maybe you could- You could… You don’t know. You don’t know, you don’t know. 

Gabe is standing in front of you, arms crossed, “Get up, [L/N],” His voice was gruff, nothing like Raph’s who always sounded like he was singing or speaking poetry, “Unless you want to end up like Raph did, you’ll do as I say.” Gabe was cruel too, nothing like Raph. 

Hesitantly, you get up, and wipe away the tears on your face. Sam and Luke who were looking at you like you were no better than the dirt on their shoe, now look at you with slight pity. It was no secret in school that you and Raphael were the best of friends, but they wouldn’t be looking at you so if they knew what you two were really like. 

You go down the cliff with them, traversing through the steep and rocky terrain. Till you arrived at the bottom, where Raph’s body lay. The blood had stopped flowing by then, or perhaps there was simply too much to look like there was more accumulating. Luke covers the bottom half of his face, Sam turns his head away, and only you and Gabe can look at the corpse. 

You glance at him, his face is like stone. You wonder if he regrets what he’s done tonight over your sister, but you can’t bring yourself to ask him without feeling like bile was going to start creeping up your throat. 

You help them carry the body deeper into the woods, Luke and Sam go to get the shovel Sam’s dad always kept in the back of his truck, and you are left with the boy who killed your lover. 

Both of you are silent, and your eyes go to look at his bruised knuckles stained with Raph’s blood. You must’ve been staring because he glares at you, “What? You wanna join Raph in his grave?” 

You know you should stay silent, but you’ve had enough of that. 

“It’d be better than having to bury him, that’s for sure,” You snarl out, you want to sock him across the face, but you’d have less impact than Raphael did, “You’re a monster.” 

“He got what was coming to him,” Gabriel clenched his fists, “If it wouldn’t be me, it may have been you.” 

You flinch, “The hell are you talking about Gabe?” You? Kill Raph? If that was meant to be a joke it wasn’t very funny. But Gabe had the same amount of charm as a donkey’s ass so it probably shouldn’t have surprised you.

“You think I’m blind, [L/N]?” A smirk forms on his face, it looks like Raphael's but at the same time it couldn’t be more different, “Everybody’s seen how you look at him and his girlfriends.” 

Your heart raced, did- Did he know? Did everybody know? If so, why weren’t you getting picked on? Raphael may have been the most popular guy in school, but even he would get harassed by some jerk. 

“You don’t get to chastise me for shit like this when you’re jealous of all the girls he gets,” At first you’re surprised he knows the word chastise, but when he accuses you of that, you laugh. You laugh like you would at a joke Raphael made, and when you realize that you start to cry. 

Gabe looks like he’s going to make fun of you, but thinks better of it when he sees the tears racing down your face and makes an expression of discomfort. 

Sam and Luke return, and by that time you’ve dried your tears. Gabe and Luke, the stronger ones, start to dig the grave, and Sam lights a cigarette. He hesitates, and then offers you one, a peace offering of sorts. 

You take it, even if you’ve never smoked before, and you cough as the smoke fills your lungs. 

“Sorry about Raphael,” He says, there is no cruelty, there is no mockery, only remorse for the blood that has been spilled, “Didn’t know him much, but I knew you two were close.” 

You take another puff, and you cough less this time, “It shouldn’t be you who’s apologizing,” You glare at Gabriel, who is digging his own twin brother’s grave. Sam follows your gaze, and he purses his lips, but then he nods.

You crush the cigarette under your shoe, and go to Raphael’s cold corpse. Your eyes scan over him, his eyes are open, the once vibrant green now hollow and empty. You close his eyes. Before you stand back up, you see a familiar glint of steel. The necklace he told you was gifted by his mother.

You take it off his neck, the cross dangling at the end gleaming even in the dark, then place it in your pocket.

Eventually Gabriel and Luke finish up, and you and Sam pick up Raphael’s body and then settle him gently into the grave. 

You take one last look at his face, burning it into your mind. He is beautiful even when his face is bloody and bruised. You want to weep again, your tears would wash away the filth from his face, but they would not bring him back. 

Yandere Spirit who invades your dreams every single night. He holds you close and what was once a warm embrace, is now a cold and stiff cage. Even if it is a dream you can smell the iron from the blood on his skin, and the earthy odor of the soil he was buried in. 

Yandere Spirit whose search you volunteer for. Even if it is only to avoid suspicion. You’re paired with Gabe and his younger brother Amos Jr., and the silence is filled with Junior’s ceaseless chatter. You pity the young boy, who shouldn’t have to search for his brother who he doesn’t even know is dead. 

When you go near the spot you buried Raph, your gaze immediately meets Gabe’s and a silent agreement goes between you two. Do not let Junior find the grave. 

But despite your best efforts, the boy does, and you can only watch while Gabe threatens him to keep his mouth shut. You're sick, and you haven’t eaten anything all day. You tell Gabe and Junior to go ahead, and then puke your guts out near Raph’s grave. 

You hold on to a tree, and sob. The taste of vomit, still on your tongue. The wind blows through your hair, it feels like Raph’s gentle caress. You swear you even hear his voice, whispering to you that it's all going to be okay, that he’ll make things better, that Gabe would pay for what he’s done. 

Time passes by. You attend Raphael’s funeral. You study, and go to your classes. You run, run faster than you’ve ever ran. You run faster than even Raph, who you’ve replaced as the track team captain. You wear his necklace every day, and you’d never take it off if you could help it. 

Sometimes you swear you hear him, whispering into your ear. Every night you feel like he’s holding you as well, but his touch is cold, yet it still brings you comfort after every nightmare where his bloody corpse stares at you from the shallow grave Gabe made for him. 

You start to isolate yourself, especially when the comforting touches become rough and possessive when you spend too much time with anybody else. You make small talk with your classmate? Ghostly fingers dig their nails into your skin. You roughhouse with your friends? Cold arms wrap themselves around your waist so tight you feel like it’s getting crushed. You get hit on by a girl? Suddenly she’s got a cold look in her eyes and leaves mid sentence. 

When you graduate, you don’t attend any parties, and you’re not invited to many other than the ones hosted by your track teammates. Gabe invites you to one, surprisingly, but when Raph wraps himself possessively around you, you know you’re not leaving the house tonight.

You don’t sleep that night either, not when Raph’s hands grope your bare flesh, sensitive against his cool touch. You swear you can see him, blood still staining his skin, his eyes are vacant but at the same time hazy with lust. He whimpers, and whines, panting into your ear.

  “Feels good.”

  “Nngh, sooo warm.” 

 “Need you, need you, need you.”

 “Love you, love you ‘s much.”

 “Never letting you go, n- ha.. not even death can separate us.” 

You feel dirty, like you’re being used. But you let him continue, you deserve this. Don’t you? You didn’t help him. You were too weak to help him. If only you were stronger, maybe it wouldn’t be his ghost on top of you right now but it’d be him in the flesh. Body just as warm as yours, a beautiful red flush on his sun kissed skin. You’d trace over every freckle, every small childhood scar, and hold him close to you till the sun rose.

But instead, your only company is the freezing form of Raph’s specter as he desperately clings to the comfort of your warmth, to feel alive again. And he’s never leaving you. 

“...You’re mine, mine, [Name],” His frigid whispers send a shiver down your spine, “You are mine even in death.”

☏ - ᴠᴏɪᴄᴇᴍᴀɪʟ: ᴍʀ. ꜱᴀɢᴇ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ʀᴇᴍɪɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʀᴇQᴜᴇꜱᴛꜱ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴘᴇɴ, ɪꜰ ʏᴏᴜ'ᴅ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪꜱ.

#yandere male x reader #yandere x you #yandere x reader #yandere oc #yandere male #yandere imagines #male yandere #male reader #x reader #yandere #Raphael Shepherd

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I've been told I'm kind of asshole-y for this, but I don't see any issue. Would like to ask for your opinions.

I have a very "actions matter more than the reasoning behind them" mindset. This extends to how I view others, and how I act so that others perceive me. I'm a nice person: I consider myself a perfect acquaintance. I've read a lot of books and studied people to be a great listener, friend, etc. I have a few skills and help tutor my friends (or friends of friends, coworkers, etc) as well as draw art for them, beta their writing, etc. I help them when they feel down, and I keep things lighthearted in terms of my own troubles because I know other people don't really like hearing about that negative stuff.

I recently quipped that I "am nice out of spite" and got a bunch of weird responses. Apparently this is not a normal thing to say? I thought it would be more of a compliment: in that I choose to be nice because I care about making people feel better, or happier. Yes, a big reason that I like to be a good person is because I like to feel like I'm "taking the high road" or I'm better than others. I am aware this is just a feeling but any positive feeling that makes me have a positive influence in the world is a good one, no?

Am I an asshole for being nice to others primarily to make myself feel "better" than those who aren't? (I am aware that I am not "better". But if it's a net positive and I am fully aware of the situation, then it's fine, no?) I don't believe that the other people in this situation are necessarily assholes for having a different point of view. But if anyone votes NTA (ie: other people involved are the assholes) then please let me know in the notes why. Thanks! :]

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

[baldursgate3tempobsessed]

Please let Astarion meet Tav's family and have a younger sibling like 6 be like im gonna marry the prince points at Astarion.

Tav : Sorry, im married to the prince

NO IM GONNA MARRY THE PRINCE

That's so fucking cute kill me. But I just realized AFTER I finished it I read this wrong 😭😭 I read it as "marry" instead of "married" so whoops now it's an asking for your hand in marriage fic.

Also, I'm going to make this a weird little, unofficial, alternate reality, off shoot of this fic to explain away why Astarion can be in the sun without ascending because I am ~lazy~

Quick summary if you didn't read it, Tav serves Selune, gets a blessing for all the good work, and uses it to cure the anti-light issue of the vampirism (but not all of it). It's not a literal extension of that fic but I'm stealing my own plot explanations. That's it! Now here we go:

~

Astarion wasn't nervous per se. He was just... on edge. And the two-week journey it took to get here wasn't helping things, not when it gave him so much time to ruminate in his thoughts. He never expected to be in the position of "meeting the family," let alone in anticipation for asking for someone's hand in marriage.

Astarion wasn't even quite sure how his life got here. He had always fantasized that a life without Cazador would be one of selfish hedonism, not one where he would be legitimately concerned about a damn six year old sibling's first impression of him.

But then you came along, effortlessly shattering all of his grandiose plans with a batt of your eyelashes. Perhaps the entire journey of falling in love was more complicated, but it felt like it was that simple. In hindsight, he never stood a chance against you, but it was hilarious that there was a time he ever thought he did.

All of his prior dreams and fantasies felt like nothing in comparison to just being with you. It had been a year since you both saved the Sword Coast, a beautiful, fantastic year. That had ended with him somehow more in love with you now than when he first confessed. Selune's blessing had certainly helped with that he was sure. He still couldn't quite believe that you would use a god's blessing on him of all people, but gods, was he appreciative. Because being able to walk in the sun again meant that he could live the life he wanted, with no restrictions. He could be the partner you deserved, the kind that a father would happily say yes to when asking for your hand.

Which brought him back to his current dilemma. Perhaps he hadn't seen any of your family members in the time you'd been together, but he had heard plenty. You loved them all to death, especially your little sister. You wrote to them constantly, the mere sight of a letter from your parents enough to put you in a great mood for the rest of the day. He was aware that your mother was supposedly a saint, a fact that your own father had instilled in you often. He knew that they had a wonderful, loving marriage and were both higher ups in the Church of Selune. A fact that Astarion didn't particularly enjoy.

As grateful to the moon goddess as he was, he was aware that you were an expectation to the very normal belief that vampires were bad. And that marrying one was one of the stupidest things you could ever do from an average person's perspective, let alone a Selunite.

Why you hadn't done the smart thing and lied about what he was, Astarion would never know. But he did know that the thought of their rejection over his admittedly sordid history was putting him in a tailspin.

"They're going to love you," You said for the hundredth time, giving his hand a squeeze as you led him up the steps to your childhood home, "You have nothing to worry about sweetheart. I promise."

Astarion highly doubted that, but you were already knocking on the front door before he had a chance to argue. The door instantly slammed open, a beaming child already launching themselves at you before Astarion could process what was happening.

But you were more prepared them he was. You effortlessly caught them in your arms, laughing at their excited shouting, "Titi! You're late!"

So this was the famous Arabeth.

"No, I'm not!" You laughed as you settled her on your hip, "And what happened to my little girl's manners huh? You haven't even introduced yourself yet."

The child glanced over at him, like she was just realizing for the first time that someone else was standing over there. She looked a little shocked at the sight of him, staring at him with wide eyes. Wide enough for Astarion to start to wonder if something was on his face.

He gave her a little wave only for her to bury her face into your shoulder, peeking out at him with her lips pursed. Which was not the best start to the whole making his darling's family actually like him plan.

"Well, as you've probably guessed this is Arabeth. She's just a little shy," You reassured as you stepped inside, muttering a quick invitation inside under your breath. He appreciated that, he didn't need the whole house to be reminded of his... limitations.

"But she'll get over it soon enough," You continued as you called into the house, "Mom? Dad? We're here!"

And just like that they were rushing into the room, acting just as excited as your sister had been. Your mother wasted no time in smothering your face with kisses while your father swept you up into a hug. It was a rather impressive display of coordination, considering how they hadn't managed to knock you and your sister to the floor in the process. Astarion was pretty sure they were both saying something along the lines of We missed you! But it was hard to tell with all of you so tangled up in each other.

It was heartwarming to see, in all honestly. Of course such a loving person would come from an equally loving family, what else would he expect?

Though he certainly hadn't been expecting for your mother to throw her arms around him next. She brought him into a tight hug before looking him up and down, "So you're Astarion huh?"

She turned back to you, grinning ear to ear with her hands set on Astarion's shoulders, "He's so handsome! Selune help us, do you remember the last boy you brought home? He had a nose the length of my arm-"

"And that's enough of that," You said with a strained laugh, pulling your eccentric mother back a few inches, "And we've talked about the impromptu hugs. What happened to asking for permission?"

"Sorry, sorry!" She said with a wave of her hand, "Let me try again. I'm Seliras, and this is my husband-"

"Marcoul," Your father interrupted, putting his hand out for Astarion to shake, "It's been awhile since we've met a boyfriend."

"He's a little more than that," You said with a sigh as everyone exchanged pleasantries.

"We'll be the judge of that," Marcoul said with a sharp but friendly grin, the grip he had on Astarion's hand briefly tightening before he let go, "From what we've heard, you're quite the character aren't you?"

Ah, so the interrogating was starting early then. It was nothing that Astarion hadn't expected. Besides, turning up the charm was his strong suit, even when he was uncharacteristically nervous.

Astarion smiled back at him, "You've heard right. And I'm more than happy to answer any questions you might have."

"Oh gods please don't say that," You groaned, but it was too late. Your parents were already leading him to sit, rapid-fire questions coming out of their mouth.

Where are you from? How did you meet? Are you serious about our Tav? What's your religion? Where's your family? What are your plans?

But Astarion answered them all, with only mild censorship for the child's sake. The child who suddenly couldn't stop staring at him. It wasn't exactly easy to sell himself as a future husband when he was a vampiric ex-slave, but he made do.

It was an overwhelming experience to say the least, but not necessarily an unpleasant one. That was one good thing about trying to marry into a family of zealots, it was a lot easier to convince them of your virtue when you received a personal blessing from their goddess.

By the end of the night, they were all throughly appeased, enough so to get off the topic of him for a moment.

"You look a little young to have a thirty-year old child," Astarion said to your mother. He was actively trying to compliment her for obvious reasons, but he was also genuinely curious. She barely looked a day over 40.

"Oh we breed young," She said with a laugh, "We had Tav in our teenage years. Arabeth came much, much later. Our favorite little surprise. Gods, I can't think of a single person in our family who didn't have kids young. Our little Tav is the only exception to the rule."

"But maybe not for much longer, huh?" Marcoul added with a grin, yelping when you lightly smacked him over the head for the comment.

"Do not start the kid talk again!" You hissed out, cheeks red, "We've talked about this!"

Astarion couldn't help but grin at your reaction, charmed by your embarrassment. Though... the idea of the two of you having children together sure was an interesting thought.

Astarion felt a tug on his sleeve while you were distracted arguing with your parents. He turned, smiling when he saw your little sister standing there, still staring at him with wide-eyes.

She took a deep breath before blurting out, "You look like a prince. Are you?"

"Not exactly," Astarion said with a small laugh. That couldn't be further from the truth, "There's no blue blood in my veins."

She frowned, cocking her head at him like he wasn't making any sense. But then an idea obviously struck her as she excitedly asked, "But if you married a princess, then you'd become a prince too. Right?"

"I suppose?" Astarion answered with a shrug.

"So if I become a princess, and I marry you, then you'll be a prince?"

This conversation was quickly becoming out of his depth. But luckily enough for him you were swooping in to save him.

You laughed at her question, turning your attention back to the two of them, "No offense Bethy, but I'm going to be the one marrying this particular prince."

But Arabeth wasn't having it. She crossed her arms, looking at you like she was the one talking to a child, "You can't. Because if I don't marry him, he won't be a prince. So there. I have to do it."

She looked so serious, her facial expressions incredibly similar to your own. Astarion was holding back a loud laugh as you tried and failed to reason with her, "I can marry him without the royal status-"

"No! I'm marrying the prince!"

Your parents were doing a much worse job at hiding their reactions, both of them opening giggling behind their hands as you came up with a compromise.

"Okay, okay," You said with a sigh, kneeling down to look the small girl in the eye, "How about this? I marry him first. But only until you become a princess. Then he's all yours. Sound fair?"

She thought about it for a moment before nodding to herself, "Sounds fair."

Well Astarion wasn't going to get a better set-up then that. He turned to your father, his nerves coming back for a brief appearance, "I'm assuming now might be a good time to ask what I came here to ask. Though I do promise I only intending on asking for one of your children's hand in marriage."

Marcoul nodded slowly, his face unreadable as he spoke, "I mean no offense when I say this Astarion, but you aren't exactly who I imagined for my daughter."

"Dad don't-"

"Darling, let him finish," Astarion gently interrupted, his eyes still locked with your father's.

He took a deep breathe before continuing, "That said, I've never seen her so... herself with someone else before. So yes. The two of you can marry. On one condition."

"Anything," Astarion said instantly, nearly giddy at the fact that he was so close to the official yes, "Just name it."

"You have to have the wedding here," Seliras answered for him, a massive smile on her face, "No ifs, ands, or buts."

"And I get to be flower girl!" Arabeth chimed in, her past indignation completely forgotten as she climbed all over you, "And there has to be chocolate cake!"

"Oh gods, help us," You groaned, but Astarion was already nodding along. He couldn't give less than two shits where it happened or who was involved. He could scarcely believe that it was happening at all. But that was the last thing he had needed.

He already had the ring, the most amazing person he could ever fathom being with. Who actually wanted him back.

Now all he had to do was ask.

#astarion #astarion x reader #astarion x tav #baldur's gate 3 #ascended astarion #astarion ancunin #im getting a little meta with these story lines y'all #this mother is half based off my own lol #i was thinking oh gosh am i making him ooc with all of this fluff? #reload my astarion romance save and remember no #the boy really does get down that bad #I literally got the thing in the game where he shits on you SO hard with that prince line so this is cathartic #i have like a fucking marriage/wedding/proposal kink or something man #I hate the reality of it honestly #all of it #but the fantasy has me in it's jaws #chomp chomp #seven more to go! #this one was a little out of my element but like i guess thats the point of the exercise of asks #right?

[mediocre-quill-ink]

Connor x shy!reader

Summary: Connor has a crush on reader and would like to know them better, but he has a feeling reader doesn't like him because reader is always so... stiff around him. Eventually connor confronts this issue.

"Hank?"

"Yeah?" He grunted back. Busy with whatever work he had to review.

"Has y/n spoken to you about me lately?"

Hank looked up at connor, raising an eyebrow. "What?" He made his confusion clear in his voice "what do you mean?"

"Well..." Connors gaze fell over to you, mostly keeping his stiff posture, but his fingers were fiddling with the fabric of his pants."Whenever I come near y/n, their heart rate increases. Their stress levels highten whenever I'm around them. I was wondering if y/n has spoken to you about me. If I did someone wrong."

Hank glanced over at you, then back at connor, gears turning in his head. "No, they haven't." He muttered back, then realization set in. "Ohhh, I know what's going on here." He whispered. "What do you mean lutenint?" Connor replied. He fixed on Hank as he pushed back from his desk slightly. He gave one final glance at you, his tongue stabbing his cheek. "You said they get, what? Stressed around you? Heart rate... that sort of stuff." Connor nodded."Yes."

He finally looked back at connor, lounging in his chair again. "Why does it bother you so much?" Connors gaze shifted slightly, hands fidgiting with his clothes again. "I'm... not sure." His gaze fixed on you for a moment. A bit longer than he intended.

Something about you just... captured him. Your smile, your voice, your hair... everything about you was just... beautiful. You were kind to him when you didn't need to, even defended him when Gavin was being a little shit.

But as kind as you were to him, whenever he approached you, you would stress out. Heart rate escalating, breath patterns change... he worried he did someone wrong. Perhaps he scared you. He was aware many humans were unsettled by androids if not for their... superiority, but they can sometimes be uncanny. Had he startled you? Intimidated you? Did he do something wrong?

"I suppose... I worry I made a bad impression on them." He finally stated. He wasn't lying, but it wasn't the whole truth. Connor himself didn't know what the full truth was, but he felt it twist in his metallic core. Hank leaned back into his desk, keeping a suspicious eye on Connor. "Then ask them." He suggested, a bit to aggressively. The led on Connors head flickered, considering.

Would that work? Would a confrontation actually fix this or just make things more awkward?

"Ask them?" He repeated.

"Yah, ask! What's the worst that'll happen, Connor?" He insisted.

Connor couldn't explain it, but anxiety started to build in his stomach. It's a feeling he didn't often feel, but when he did, it confused him. In the past, he was so self-assured, full of purpose, and felt as if nothing could bring him harm, but now, ever sense deviancy, he was scared.

"What? You can chase killers with wreakless abandon, but you can't ask someone what they are feeling?" Hank chuckled light heartedly. Connor couldn't help but feel a small smile appear on his face. "I could say the same for you, lutenint." He jabbed back.

He finally looked back at you. You were on your computer, seemingly researching a case and taking notes. You were gorgeous.

I can do this

Connor stood up and made his way to your desk. You were located in a far corner with no other people sharing desk space near you. It was nice to have a private space to do your work.

You glanced up to see Connor nearing you, and that's when Connors sensors started to go off again. Increased heart rate.

"Good evening, y/n!" Connor greeted.

Irregular breathing detected.

"Hi, Connor!" You smiled back, giving a gentle wave."What brings you to my oh so humble corner of the office?" You set down your pincel, swallowing hard, which he noticed. "May I take a seat? I won't stay to long." Connor stated, jesturing to an unused desk across from you. "Oh, of corse!" You replied

He promptly slit out the chair and sat in one foul swoop, efficient even when sitting. "I'm sorry if I've disturbed your work y/n, I don't mean to intrude." He glanced at what you were working on. Seemingly, a case on petty theft. "No, not at all. Honestly, I need a break." You sighed, placing a hand on your forehead.

Connors fingers began to play with the fabric of his pants again. "I came to speak about an issue it appears you have. About me. I was simply wondering what it was and if there was anything I could do to resolve this issue." There was a moment of silence where your brain just stopped working. Thinking. You gave him a very puzzled face, which made him confused as well.

"Issue? What issue?" You asked, eyes skittering around his face. "Well," Connor started, now a bit tense. Did he miscalculate? "When ever I'm in your vicinity, your heart rate and breath irregularite, sweat usually increasing as well. My presence stresses you out, don't I?"

Your face suddenly flushes to a darker hue. "Oh." Is all you state. But his sensors are proving his point. Heart going wild. Chest tight with shallow breaths. "Are you alright, y/n?" Connor asked, leaning in slightly. He threw a glance at Hank, who was back to his work. He knew this was a bad idea.

You finally let out a deep breath. "I'm fine, Connor." You sigh, regaining some sense or composure. "It's just... it's complicated. No, I don't have an issue with you, if that's what you're concerned about. You've done nothing wrong." You shook your head gently, picking up the pencil again, needing something to do with your hands. Connors led began to flash again, trying to figure out what this meant. "So I don't make you feel intimidated?" He muttered.

"No, no, not really. Not like that." You reply, now fidgiting with the pencil, you're avoiding eye contact now. Connors led continued to blink. "I'm sorry, I don't understand."

He thought his extensive programming for human psychology would help him out, but somehow, he was left in the dark. "Why then, do you get so anxious when I'm around?"

You swallowed hard again, sweat starting to build. "It's dumb, Connor. Humans are... illogical, their minds go places they know are unrealistic. Thank you for caring, but I don't think you'd care if I told you."

Connor squinted slightly, a dozen questions racing through his head. What does that mean, "minds go places they shouldn't" what we're you thinking?

"But I do care." Was all he replied.

Your heart wrenched at that

you finally look at him. not a worried glance but actually look at him. his expression was soft and meaning. he looked so sincere. "oh, Connor..." you whisper. chest tightened, you hesitate for a moment before cautiously holding his hand. to flinch isn't the proper word but Connor reacted in a way that showed he wasn't expecting the sudden action.

should i tell him? you ask yourself.

clearly he cares. but... would he reciprocate? does he feel the same way or is he just... being nice.

you sigh. glancing around the room briefly. "I didn't realize how much you cared about this. about me." you mumble. Connors led stopped flickering for a moment, face hardening ever so slightly. "of course I do."

"alright. I'll tell you. I'm sorry for being so... uncooperative." you sigh, anxiety tightening. Connor simply nodded in response. "the reason I get so nervous around you is because I... like you. like, romantically." there's s moment of silence, his led flashing yellow for a moment. the sudden silence from the ever so quizitive detective is unsettling. you start to realize how square your shoulders are as you try to let out a chocking breath.

"say that again." he finally whispers back.

your gaze locks back on him, confusion twisted into your brows. "i like you." you reply.

Connors led finally stills. what ever eye contact he was making with you softens. "you do?" he replied softly. all you can do is nod. at that a small smile cracks on his face. you start to realize how ridged he was too because his posture relaxes slightly. "I like you too." he replied.

"really?"

"yes. I think so."

"think so?"

"no... no I know so." he finally stated.

you squeeze his hand in response "awesome. so... do you want to... date?" you can feel heat rushing to your cheeks. "id love to."

#connor #connor detroit become human #connor dbh #connor dbh x reader #dbh connor x reader #connor x reader dbh #dbh x reader #detroit become human ralph #dbh #dbh fanfiction

[kanmom51]

Public service notice

Remember how I said I haven't blocked you just yet @chaotickoalacat ?

Well, got your reply ask, and let me tell you this:

I'm really tempted to do it right now.

I am not going to answer this ask, more so because I know how you will be literally crucified in the comments not only for the utter nonsense you are spewing but the way you are doing so.

I will address a couple of things you are saying though. Because seriously dude, I'm in utter shock as to how you are actually able to come up with this stuff.

You believe MHJ? Really?

You tell me that because she created NJ then her saying that Illit are copying her then that's it? It must be true? She also said that BTS copied her concepts in the past, that true too? You are aware of the fact that she is all about the visuals and has nothing to do with the music part of things, right? Just checking.

And in the same breath you are also full on acknowledging that she was the one behind the BTS leaks, including the damaging leak of JM's private info.

So, let me get this straight, you have no issue in believing a person that is untrustworthy and moved to hurt your fave, as long as it suits your current agenda? Seriously? I kind of think that once untrustworthy always untrustworthy. Or in your world is it once untrustworthy sometimes trust worthy as long as what's coming out of their mouth is what I want to hear?

Btw, you most definitley showed your true colours with the whole "JK's fling" idiocy. Prey tell me what does it say about JM, or more so, what does it say about what you think about JM if he sticks by JK's side while JK, in your warped mind, is an untrustworthy copy cat cheater? You must think so highly of JM for sticking by JK's side when JK treats him like shit (according to your warped views).

And let me make my views clear as day here. JK did not copy JM nor is JK an asshole cheater that can't keep his dick to himself. Balloon busted for you, I guess.

And yes, we are both BTS fans (or are we? cause you seem to be a solo stan and not a fan of BTS the band and all it's members), but clearly you lack the basic emotional intelligence that someone who is mature enough and with some life and long term relationship experience has. Either you are very young and inexperienced or for some reason lack that healthy relationship experience. Because thinking so low of JK and yet believing at the same time that JM would stick around someone like that, yeah, there is something lacking in your life experience. Maybe no experience, maybe bad experience, maybe too much Kdrama watching experience. Whichever it is, please, do not try and compare us.

There is NO comparison.

You say that you don't view JM as a damsel in distress, that he is a strong person, stronger than JK seeing how well he did in the army. Let me start by saying what a load of bull (not the him being strong part, but the part where you claim you aren't out to 'save' him). He's strong when it suits you, which is when you want to prove he's better than JK and/or the others (I'll get into how disgusting and disrespectful that comparison you are making is in a second). But at the same time he, supposedly in your fantasy world, allows JK and the company to step all over him, to copy his ideas and creativity and to scorn him and mess around with others, and continues to play along with their game, of showing up for JK, going on trips with him, enlisting with him even after he's supposedly, again, been mistreated, disrespected, cheated on. I would kind of suggest that you make up your mind which is it?

As for this constant comparison with the others when it comes to their army service, I've been vocal about this in the past and I will say it again. It sickens me how disrespectful you are towards not only the other BTS members, each and every one of them doing their utmost best within their army placement, but it's disrespectful towards every single other SK young man that is doing their compulsory military service. How easy it is sitting on your comfy chair in the safety of your own home or wherever it is you are sitting, which isn't an actual war zone, behind your screen and keyboard, grading these young men that have left their lives behind for 18 months to enlist into active duty in a military that is at war with another country. Please have more respect not only for every single one of the members (each serving at their utmost best within their assigned duties) but also for all the other young men that are doing just the same. JM is amazing, he's assigned duties are utilizing his high level of intelligence and mathematical abilities. Kudos to him for excelling at it. But why is it so hard for you to say that and at the same time say the same about each and every other member? Why is there this need not only to uplift one, but to do so at the expense of the other, diminishing what the other is doing? This whole attitude is just so childish and stupid. And you know what? Like I said, it's disrespectful not only to the other members and to every single other soldier, but also to JM, who doesn't need to bring down the others to show just how amazing he is.

This is it. Let me make this as clear as day that even if I end my sentences with a question mark, it's a rhetorical question and not an invitation for your response. I will not reply to any more asks you might throw my way. Obviously you are intrenched in your ideas and opinions, as warped and unhealthy as they may be.

Good luck trying to save JM from the one person he is showing us all that he wants to spend every second, every minute, every hour with.

And good luck with it all when Jikook Karma strikes, cause it's coming and it's coming strong, and when it does come well, all those that lack the respect to either JK or JM, those who are willfully closing their eyes and ears to what they have been showing and telling us for years now...

...the day is coming when it can no longer be ignored.

#jikook #kookmin #minkook #jungkook #jimin #jm #jk #jikook karma

[paradiseprincesss]

Omg hi!!! I absolutely LOVED espresso it's so cute!! Would you be open to doing some major fluff with Jim (delinquent season)? Thanks so much!!!!

CPR - jim (delinquent season) x reader

hello lovely anon! THANK YOU! that means so much to me i appreciate your kind words! and yes, of course, we love love LOVE jim over here - he is criminally underrated. he's dreamy.

summary: after a shitty, messy, and rough divorce, jim is hesitant to love again - but he falls for a younger woman who changes his mind, and teaches him how to love again.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: so there is a large age gap (everyone is of legal age, jim is in his mid forties, reader is just described as 'in college,' so take that how you will), kissing, swearing, divorce, jim's employed as a professor but the reader isn't his student! other than that, no warnings just fluff lol

we don't chose who we fall in love with - at least, that's what jim always thought, and that's what he told himself.

jim never pictured himself to be the type of guy to date a younger woman, he always thought it was a little strange actually because what would someone his age have in common with someone roughly 20 years younger than him?

well, more than he thought.

he didn't intend on falling in love with you. he just...did. jim met you through a friend of his, weirdly enough. he had just finalized his divorce with his ex-wife, which was messy and screwed his perception of love up quite a bit - anyone would feel that way after finding out that their spouse of over a decade was having an affair.

so yeah, jim had some issues revolving around love.

with that being said, when an old college buddy of his (who he talked to a few times a year at most through facebook or text, and occasionally over the phone) had rung him up about how he had moved back to ireland and was having some old friends over for dinner just for old times sake, he figured sure, he'd go since he had nothing better to do.

fast forward to a week later, he showed up in his usual attire - casual slacks and sweater - and was greeted by a handful of his old college friends. jim couldn't lie - it was nostalgic, and frankly, kind of refreshing to be out socializing and living life again after his divorce. it had been a good 6 months since the divorce, and he was honestly feeling good for once.

"jim, hey!" his old college roommate, dan, greeted him at the door. "come on in, we're just having some beers in the living room, the games gonna be on soon."

the night went well, jim got to catch up with his old buddies from his college days, and they spent the evening drinking beers and fussing over the game on tv.

"so, i heard 'bout the ex-wife. hey, i'm sorry, man." another old acquaintance of his, ryan, had said to him.

jim laughed lightly, "s'alright. shit happens, i guess." to which all the other men just murmured and agreed with.

the conversations flowed well, and honestly - it felt good to rant about his ex-wife with some old buddies, and openly talk about his divorce like this - what she did was fucked up. he felt like he needed to and should be able to vent, too.

as the men were busy shouting at the tv, beers in hand, a softer voice called out, "dad?" and jim's buddy dan looked over his shoulder to see his daughter, standing in the doorway of the living room with a small smile.

jim looked away from the game momentarily, out of curiosity - and good god did his heart stop when he did. he was aware that dan had a daughter in college and he knew of her name, but he didn't realize how beautiful she was. the two of them locked eyes for a split second, and he looked away slightly embarrassed.

he didn't really know why he was embarrassed, it's not like he was doing anything shameful or wrong - but finding your friends daughter who was still a college student when he was in his forties was definitely wrong in a sense, well- to a certain degree.

"oh, hey sweetie, i didn't even realize you were still up." dan says to his daughter.

"it's only..." you pause, checking your phone, "half past eight, dad. plus, i'm stuck on this stupid essay my professor assigned to us yesterday." you laugh softly - lightheartedly, and jim felt his heart skip a few beats.

"oh, that's no good," dan says, "jim's a professor, i'm sure he won't mind if you asked him a few questions - maybe he can help you." your dad shrugs, looking at jim and then focusing back on the game.

you blush slightly, and you knew your dad was just being friendly and trying to be helpful - but suggesting you get his older (and really attractive!) friend who just so happened to be a professor to help you with your essay seemed...well, it was like one of those storylines you'd see in a movie, or a book...or something.

"um, dad, i'm sure jim doesn't want to step away from watching the game to help with homework-" you start to say, but in a moment of confidence (and a little alcohol), jim cut you off with a gentle tone.

"no- no, it's no worries, really. i was going to get up and grab another pint anyways." he says, getting up to go to the kitchen. you just walk with him into the kitchen, somewhat at a loss for words.

you get a better look at him under the dimmed kitchen lights, and you could already feel yourself getting nervous in his presence. you never found any of your dads friends attractive before - but jim, well, he was different.

the salt and pepper hair was...really hot. and god, those eyes. those glacier coloured eyes; you barely had a chance to even meet the man and somehow he had you in a chokehold before you spoke more than just a few sentences to each other.

"so," he broke the silence, "watcha studying?"

you quietly told him what you were majoring in, and he nodded, smiling at you softly, "well, i don't teach that particular subject or major - but i'll try and help you out regardless."

you retuned the small smile, "y-yeah, okay. cool."

for the next hour or so, the two of you sat closely next to one another at the dining table, your textbooks and papers sprawled out in front of you, with the doc you were writing open on your laptop. he helped you structure your essay and the two of you were about 80% done with it - that was until he requested that you turn back the page of your textbook.

"wait, go back to page 116 i think it says something about that at the bottom of the page." he tells you, reaching out to turn the pages back in the textbook. however, you also reached to turn the page back - causing the both of your hands to touch, to swiftly brush against each other.

with a small blush, you quickly pull back, still nervous. "sorry."

he laughs softly, shaking his head, "no need to be sorry."

taking a deep breath, you respond, "sorry- sorry, i keep saying sorry-"

"you okay?" he offers a gentle smile, and you felt your heart start racing a million miles per minute. you weren't one to get easily flustered like this - you never got this nervous, certainly not around guys your own age, at least.

jim didn't know why - but he felt the same way. however, he tried to play it cool. he had been on a few dates with a few different women here and there post divorce, but all of them were dead ends. however, with you, it almost felt like he had known you for a lifetime even though he had only just met you.

"yeah, just..." you trailed off, seemingly at a loss for words again. he looked at you with an expression that you couldn't quite read, and his gaze flickered to your lips - then back to your face. "just what?" he whispers to you, and you felt yourself drowning in his impossibly blue eyes.

suddenly, you felt his gentle hand on your thigh, and your breath hitched as he whispered to you again. "just what?"

"just kiss me." you whisper back, and with that, his hands were gently coming up to cup your face, and he kissed you softly.

you'd never kissed someone so much older than you before, and the thought of it made your head dizzy. after a moment, the both of you pulled away from the kiss, but his hand remained on your face.

"is it...is it strange if i ask you if i could take you out to dinner sometime?" he asks quietly, and you felt your cheeks heat up at the question.

"not at all, i'd love that." you smile at him.

again, falling in love wasn't part of the plan, but jim didn't really have a choice when it came to you. it just happened so naturally.

"sweetheart?' you hear his voice call out softly and the sound of the door closing, and you turn around to see him coming home from work - god, you loved when he wore his little sweaters with the sleeves rolled up half way - it really got you going.

"baby, hi." you greet him softly, bundled up in a blanket on the couch of his living room. "how was work?"

he slumps down beside you, pulling you into him softly with a sigh, kissing the top of your head. "it was alright, finished teaching my lecture earlier than expected so that was good." he tells you, voice gentle and tone loving.

"mm, well i'm glad to have you home early." you tell him sweetly, pulling him into a chaste kiss.

"what would you like for dinner, sweetheart?" he asks you, and you shrug, "jim, you worked all day, you don't have to make dinner it's fine." to which he shook his head and insisted, "how about some pasta?"

"jim," you whine softly, "you're so cute, i love you."

"i love you too, honey." he says, kissing you again.

after the date you two had, things just seemed to flow effortlessly. you'd never been with an older man before - and he was so very attentive to your every need, every want, every boundary you had - he took things slow with you, never ever pressuring you into anything.

now, six months later, you and jim had been dating for a few months, while you were still adjusting to dating someone roughly 20 years your senior - it was something you wouldn't change.

jim felt the same way - things were different with you. being with a younger woman was fun, it was new. you taught him things as much as he taught you things. with his ex-wife, there was no trust. no real love. no meaning to life, even though the two of them had kids together, it didn't change the fact that he always felt like he was married to someone he didn't know - a stranger.

you weren't a stranger, though - no, you were quite the opposite to him. you made him feel at home, you were his home. he often found himself wondering where he'd be if you weren't by his side. probably gone, he thinks.

after dinner and a steamy shower together, the two of you laid in his bed together, your head on his chest and his arms holding you in a warm embrace.

"...i want you to meet my kids." he suddenly tells you, and you turn your head to look up at him with love in your eyes, "yeah?" you whisper, causing him to whisper back a quiet "yeah" back to you.

he softly takes your hand and intertwines it with his own, a content sigh leaving his lips. "would you ever want to get married again?" you ask quietly - not even sure why you felt the sudden urge to ask that, but you did anyway.

he was quiet for a moment.

jim never thought he would re-marry, in fact, he didn't even think he'd ever find someone that he would want to marry after his ex-wife. but that was before he found you.

"i wouldn't ask you to meet my kids if i didn't plan on marrying you." he finally says, pulling you even closer. your breath hitched when he confessed that, and you felt yourself blushing a little too. "you mean that?" you ask him, to which he squeezed your hand.

"you made me love again - i sound corny, but i'm dead serious. i was at the end, then you came into my life... you made me feel like there was life worth living."

"oh, jim," you whisper, a little breathless at his continuous admissions about how much he loved you, "you're my everything."

he looked at you with admiration, and smiled softly at you. you were his everything, too. he often wondered if you knew that. if you knew how much he adored you. in a world where he felt like nobody understood him - you did. you were the only one he ever confided in.

your love fixed all his pain, your love fixed his heart - and you didn't even know. you didn't even know how much you were fixing a heart that you didn't break.

he felt like he was revived in a sense - brought back to life from the dead. brought back from his inevitable death of a marriage that had minced his heart. but now, things were different because he had you.

and you - you were the only thing that could jumpstart his flatlining heart again - like CPR.

#cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #cillian x reader #jonathan crane x f!reader #jonathan crane x reader #cillian fic #cillian murphy fanfic #cillian murphy imagine #cillian x fem!reader #jim the delinquent season #jim delinquent season #jim delinquent season x reader #jim x reader #the delinquent season imagine #robert fischer x y/n #robert fischer x reader #robert fischer #robert fischer imagine

[skyesdaisys]

Hi! Love your work, could you write a dick Grayson fanfic abt him and a quiet female reader warming up to each other (set between season 1 and 2)?

yes, of course!!!! god, i've wanted to write for titans on here so bad i just didn't have the inspo so thank you<333

—

talk to him

titans dick grayson x fem!reader

sunmary: you weren't exactly much of a people person. especially since you were 1 of 2 adults living in a huge tower in san francisco, watching over 3 kids you don't really talk to outside of training. and the only other adult being closed off so who knows what'll happen when he decides to talk to you out of no where

cw: not much, there's just some fluff with a teaspoon of angst because of communication issues (they both suck at small talk and beyond)

a/n: idc what anyone says about this show, it's given me so much comfort and a lot of fun and likable characters. so i'm so glad i can write for them as long as you guys send requests for them. as well as other characters from other shows like yellowjackets and etc. also i love dick grayson, even though he can be a bit annoying in this show (that i can admit) but he's hot so ajsjfndmfmf. also, i'm sorry it took sooooo long, writers block got to me badly these past few months, so i apologize if it's cringey and awkward. but i do give the benefit the doubt here because this story is suppose to be like that (also the fact i'm projecting my "bad at small talk" trait here). two grown adults that can't seem to have a normal conversation, like at all

after the trigon incident you were dragged in by circumstance, you were the only other adult to volunteer to help dick with... whatever he was doing. you didn't have any life to go back to anyways, and you made a connection to everyone else so why part ways and it be unlikely to see them again. sure, you weren't particularly close with the kids, but, what are you supposed to do in order to bond with them? so that left dick in titans tower, but he wasn't as much of a talker as you outside of training.

everyday for the past few weeks have been, eat, train, sleep, repeat on a loop, no 'how was your day' questions, because the days are always the same so there wasn't any point of asking. and you could tell the kids were getting bored of it, very fast, and you could not blame them. being stuck in a repeating pattern with nothing else happening started getting old after the first couple weeks. so, you didn't really know how long it would take til something changed, it couldn't be like this forever.

during this time, you admired the grayson from afar, he was attractive, what else could you say? you weren't an idiot. and you also were aware of his previous entanglements with kory and you didn't wanna be involved in that. and, well... you felt like a teenage girl having a crush on a guy who was going through some shit, so it was better not to bother him.

and not being much of a talker doesn't make the conversation about feelings be any better. like, maybe this was attraction and nothing more? you were aware of the difference between liking someone physically and liking them emotionally (specifically in a romantic sense). but even as you admired him, you learn things about him, paying attention to the little things. deep down, he cared for other people, if he didn't, he wouldn't have taken rachel in and helped her, and he wouldn't have done the same for gar or jason either. people just have their own way of showing their love and care.

but your admiring wasn't exactly subtle. rachel had noticed it when you were looking at dick from across the room, talking with jason. the roth wasn't sugarcoating anything when it came to this, "you keep staring, you're probably gonna be capable of shooting lazers from your eyes." and you knew she was joking around but she caught you by surprise, making you face the young girl. "why is it any of your business?"

"because it's kind of sad seeing you pine for him like this." she points out, "and also, gar and jason made a bet whether or not you'd confess. we have eyes, you know?" and she lightly bumped your shoulder with hers with a smile on her face, "and i'm sure dick feels the same way, though he's not very good of showing it."

"that is ridiculous." you shake your head, "one, i don't like him. not like that. i just think he's cool."

"are you sure about that?" the roth rose her eyebrow, "talk to him." but you were not moving from where you were so rachel decided to take matters into her own hands, she then gave you a push (a literal one) towards him, and now you couldn't run away. all you could say was, "hey..."

"hey." he responded. jason just stood there awkwardly in between the two of you, "okay, well uh—" he pretends to look at a watch that's not even on his wrist, "look at the time, i must be going." and he had immediately ran out of there before dick tried to stop him. there was an silent pause and you were trying to figure out what to say, but before you could, he asks, "do you want some coffee?" all you did was nod. after that, there was even more silence, you two haven't had a conversation that wasn't training related in like, a while. it just felt like you were both strangers who didn't know each other nor were you fond of one another.

"you're just as bad at small talk as i am, huh?" you finally had spoken up. and dick just shook his head, "i don't know what you're talking about, i know how to make small talk."

"oh really?" you rose up your eyebrow, "okay mr. 'i know how to make small talk', what do you wanna talk about? and please, don't let it be training related. because if i have to hear you talk about that one more time, my head is gonna explode." you tried to look irritated, but he could notice a small smile on your face. then he immediately went into the 'deep, emotional' stuff, "you never told me why you came here. you just did, and i'm surprised you stuck around as long as you have."

you answered it anyway, because why not, "well, it's not like i have anywhere else to go." you set down your drink, making direct eye contact at him, "besides, the second i got here, and realized how big this place is and i have my own room... what, did you expect me to pass it up?" and you ended up making him laugh, which was surprising, "what is so funny, i'm just being honest." you were unsure why he was laughing, so you just took a sip of your coffee. he explained, "your honesty is refreshing, that's all."

"really?" and he nodded as a reply. you just sighed, taking your coffee and leaving. it's not like you had anything else to talk about and just sitting there would make it more awkward, so you just left. does it make it any less weird? absolutely not.

you guys didn't talk much after in the next few days, up until you decided to play hero on solo when you see a woman getting mugged by this guy in a mask. it was like one of the many movie cliches that you see brought into reality.

too bad it didn't turn out like expected, where you got shot in the leg. thankfully, the kids were able to track you down and bring you to the infirmary, gar was trying his best to patch you up and rachel was there for emotional support. as for jason... there wasn't much else he can do than just stand watch, up until dick had walked in with a worried expression, and the three teens immediately rushed out of there as soon as he walked in the room. you could've left if you wanted too but, obviously you couldn't.

"jesus fuck, you could've gotten yourself killed, what were you thinking?" all of his emotions were being let out in that moment, it was the most emotion you've seen him express towards you in like... ever. yet you couldn't help but be a bit sarcastic, "yeah, keep yelling... it's not like i'm literally a few feet away from you or whatever."

dick sat on the edge of the bed and started to explain, "sorry, it's just... when i heard what happened, i didn't know how to feel, or express it correctly." he gently set his hand on your injured leg, softly, "just if anything happened to you, i—"

"i'm tougher than you think, grayson." you reassured him, and you noticed a tiny smile creeping up on his face.

"i know it's just... i don't wanna lose anyone else."

you lean up a bit to set your hand on his shoulder, "i'm not going anywhere, dick." you then stopped for a second as you come to realize, "and we just had a conversation that didn't involve small talk. maybe i should get myself hurt more often." you were obviously joking at that last part, but dick's reaction to it was priceless, "i'm kidding. you are just... not what i expected."

"the feeling is mutual."

a part of you wanted to kiss him, that it felt right, but another part was saying how the timing of it all wasn't. and maybe these feelings you're having are actually real. because now, there was something in your heart that was growing that wasn't just admiration, and it felt weird, but a good weird.

maybe when the timing is right, they'll get to it, but until then, your growing friendship in the moment is enough for now.

#titans #dc titans #dc titans x reader #titans x reader #dick grayson x reader #titans dick grayson x reader #dick grayson x you #dick grayson x y/n #dick grayson imagine #jaiden writes things #maydayforus

[firesnap]

i have a genuine question. i promise i am not at all trying to defend him. ive dropped him entirely, literally deleted everything i had of him and unliked his songs.

ive just been wondering like considering that he has been in therapy, and also considering how if he does take a year off and then comes back, why cant it be redeemable? like cant people change? cant we give them second chances? he is 27. is he just doomed to be an abuser forever?

its just scary and im asking as like a younger person who is in my very early 20s. i know ive made mistakes. i know ive not been a good partner or friend sometimes. (and yes i was also abusive to a past partner...im not proud of it and ive learned from it. i have never ever touched anyone in that way after that. it took awhile but my current relationship isnt toxic and i would never hurt anyone or hit them again yknow?) and it scares me that people keep insinuating that he is irredeemable. like cant abusers change and become better? dont they get second chances? if shelby has grown and healed in 10 months wouldn't it be fair to say the same for wilbur?

im just genuinely asking because based on everything i believe you are older than me and im looking for guidance and just...idk im scared. growing up on the internet has made me so scared of making mistakes and doing anything wrong because when it happens to others i look up to, its always treated as something they'll never be able to change or improve. makes me feel like imma just be a horrible person forever because i made mistakes in the past.

This is a really complicated question that multiple answers can validly fit.

I don't think, personally, that anyone is irredeemable. I think everyone is on a journey of forgiveness and some of us may need more grace than others.

This is tw// abuse even more than the current topic, but my mom was incredibly abusive. We lived in a very rural area and she had a lot of undiagnosed problems and trauma of her own that created a pressure pot of issues. After I was born, she suffered through full on post-partum psychosis that nearly ended about as well as that sentence implies it could have. She was incredibly violent, controlling, and cruel for years. My sister went no-contact with her the second she turned 18. A significant event occurred that eventually spurned her into seeking real treatment that lasted for years. It's still ongoing.

My sister is also still no contact and I support her decision 100%. Those are her wounds and what she needed to do to get peace should be respected. I decided I wanted a relationship with the person who came out of all that work and, even then, it's been hard. I don't know if she's redeemed herself, and my god do we still have bumps in the road, but I support her for trying.

With Wilbur, how he responds to this is going to really impact a lot of things. I mean, I know no matter how he responds I won't be going on whatever journey of redemption and healing he has to go through. I'm tired and I feel hurt enough. I would think, if he wanted to show he was sincere, admitting what happened would be a great sense of closure for a lot of people who put time and energy and faith into this guy for years.

Not every person that causes harm is inherently evil, but there has to be some kind of knowledge that you're aware of the harm you've caused. No one is stuck as anything forever, life is constantly moving, and most people aren't saying his life is just over. You can work on yourself. You can change. And I'm saying that specifically to you, anonymous.

(Saying this, actually, there ARE people who would argue once you've done x you're beyond redemption based entirely on their life experiences as a victim, personal histories and many other factors. Kinda like my sister, that's their choice. And you have to accept that sometimes you fuck up so badly that you will permanently lose some people from your life. But your life isn't over.)

But I do think, regardless of what he says or does about this, his time of controlling a large platform is at an end. He can still do a lot of things in his life after he works on himself -- editing, song producing, directing, writing or whatever -- but being in charge of a large impressionable audience that could enable more destructive behaviors is just not it.

#the current state of things

[elysiansparadise]

Are there any placements you wish you had in your birth chart?

I'm very happy with my chart, but yes, there are placements that I would love to have.

Placements I wish I had

🤍Virgo Moon. I think this is because of the love I feel towards these people, I genuinely consider them very admirable people and considerate of those around them. Empathetic, rational, highly intelligent and a trustworthy personality, they are often not given credit for that stunning creativity and I don't see them being mentioned for having the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. Their self-sufficient and independent personality that is very aware of the needs, emotions and essence of others seems incredible to me, they have that remarkable balance. Many are introspective and are not afraid to analyze the depths of their emotions and it is something that not many usually do.

🤍Libra Mercury. Minutes have passed and you won't even know how but you will be there, listening or reading what they communicate, because they have the quality of catching and captivating through communication. Convincing, astute and above all highly intelligent communicators. Since I mentioned their intellect, in addition to seeing a situation from many different perspectives, they understand ideas quite quickly, in addition to this, these people love the idea of ​​continuing to learn about... any subject in general, they have a wide variety of interests.

🤍Uranus in the 5th house. Their personality is enigmatic, sassy, ​​multifaceted and full of charisma. They know how to grab your attention, but more importantly, they know how to keep it. They have an impressive stage presence and everyone I've met has a skill that stands out considerably from the rest. They are highly creative, very witty and socially charming, even if they call themselves introverts, they make memorable first impressions. They are passionate and unique lovers, I would dare to say that they are even difficult to forget.

🤍Venus in the 6th house. Beyond being charming, kind and self-conscious people, I have noticed that they have a unique quality that they don't realize, that of giving beauty touches to anything. Impeccable taste in fashion, aesthetics and an incredible eye for details and any organizational issue. They do things with their heart, they put their soul into projects, hobbies or causes that they consider important. Their souls are gentle and beautiful, knowing them will bring you many surprises, and each one will be better than the last. They are great as a friend and as a couple, they always seek the well-being of those they love and are capable of giving their best in their relationships. As a personal comment, the dates with them are incredible, they seek to do things that both enjoy and find a balance in their relationships.

🤍Mercury in the 9th house. Smart, funny, eloquent and people with extensive knowledge in their areas of interest. I love it. They are curious people by nature and once something catches their attention they dig deep. A quality to highlight in addition to all the above is their maturity and ability to understand that others think differently and instead of seeing it as a threat to their beliefs, they find what is fascinating in ideas different from their own. They defend their points of view tenaciously and can be very persuasive and skillful with their speech.

🤍Mars in Earth house. I think that in any of these houses [2nd, 6th or 10th] you have two things that I deeply admire, productivity and ambition. I really admire their ethics and the way they work, tenacious, strategic and excellent at long-term planning. They usually have a back-up plan and don't put expectations on anyone. They are demanding of themselves and are very professional in getting the work done. Qualities that I find very attractive. I add that I would like that in addition to this there was either a sextile with Saturn or an opposition.

🤍Moon-Saturn trine, sextile, quintile or biquintile. The self-control and resilience that these aspects give me fascinates me, it gives birth to a strong individual who is aware of all the difficulties they have gone through and is capable of trying to move on. When the Moon-Saturn aspects are used positively, the natives tenaciously rebuild themselves and although they look back to see those things from their past that afflict them, they know that they deserve better than that, that they are better than that and that their past does not define them. Likewise, they give a lot of peace and tranquility in their relationships, they are a great pillar for a partner, friends and family, and most importantly, they seek to understand and take care of what they most love.

#astrology #natal chart #birth chart #astro notes #placements I wish I had

[maritotoy]

MAUGA X Support/Medic Reader ((Part. 1))

NOTE: Believe it or not, I never realize how long I've written this one.

This narrative tracks Mauga's obsession with Y/N as it grows to the point where he is prepared to kill everyone who stands in his way. With this in mind, Mauga's commitment would gradually grow. He would start out softly and then this need on you would get stronger.

It all began when your talents were initially utilised for recruitment. You were a terrific help, willing to assist your teammates in whatever way they needed.

Your main issue was that you could never truly let them handle things on their own. As a result, it became increasingly difficult to care for yourself.

They promised you riches if you helped them fight back against their threat. There were only so many ways to profit from rival worlds, after all. You were aware that you were going into a whole new universe when you agreed, but you also felt that you had no choice but to accept them.

Ultimately, you didn't wish to pass away, did you?

It was stated to you when you first joined TALON Organization, that you should concentrate only on the battlefield. Up until you met Baptiste, an exceptional combat medic, it was great with you. Your shared enthusiasm for curing illness is what unites the two of you. It turned into a shared passion. As you try to acquire experience in several areas, like medical supplies, you both hope to discover some more useful abilities, like healing or even a unique kind of combat capability.

But you can hardly ever get to Baptiste, he's constantly at the top. Both a combat mercenary and medic. You're always looking for ways to sharpen your skills.

Even after meeting him again at your base and on missions, you are still determined to improve your ability to deal with any possible emergencies. Not until later do you find out what happens when a member of your unit gets injured.

Baptiste surged in, carrying an imposing stature and a solid, muscular frame. His voice sounded desperate, asking, "I'm sorry if I came to you! I know you are busy, but I need help with my friend, please, Y/N!" The urgency was so obvious that there wasn't much resistance. Even if he was a doctor himself, it must have seemed urgent enough.

Besides... You were in the right place to help.

You rushed over to his side and helped him stabilize his huge friend. "What happened, Bap? Are you hurt?" He didn't reply, but his eyes told you all you needed to know.

You fix your sight on his pal. He does not appear to be hurt or seriously damage. However, the man's body is completely soaked, which looks very suspicious to you. "Is he alright, Bap? I don't see anything wrong." He shook his head and gave a sigh.

"We were attacked. Mauga and I found the source of the enemy attack and got separated."

"How long has it been since then?"

"Four hours, maybe five."

"Do you have any idea of what may have caused the damage?"

"I'm not sure. However, I had already discovered him unconscious but unharmed on the ground. It should not take long for him to awaken.." You glance at the unconscious man again before you say, "Let me take a look at him." He nodded and stepped aside.

"Mauga could never be wounded by shots like that. Despite his size, he could easily absorb one hit thanks to his physique." He explains.

You crouch down and check on his comrade. He seems fine to you. There's nothing unusual about him, other than the fact that he's a bit too heavy.

You knew Mauga.

And with such.

You just don't know how to engage with him.

On a conversation? Yes. Your profession is your duty.

You don’t really get along with those who rely solely on themselves as an advantage, even though you respect their abilities.

The feeling is mutual. Every time someone gets hurt because of something beyond their control, you are there to help them.

Because that's your job as a medic.

You both have quite a difference in interests, though. You can't stand the fact that he’s so reckless, you can't understand why he doesn't think more carefully before he acts. As soon as he sees blood, it's always the most important thing.

Mauga stands tall, towering over his opponents with an impressive height of 7'5 ft tall. (My headcanon)

Mauga is a formidable opponent on the front lines thanks to his strong, muscular physique. His broad shoulders and thick neck gives off an air of strength and power, and his body is well-built, demonstrating his strength and capacity to deal severe damage to rivals.

Did I mention he has two hearts?

Unlike you, Mauga is a ruthless and cunning individual, driven by his own motivations. He never lets anyone interfere with his goals, whether or not they involve you. While he might act with reckless disregard sometimes, he is also able to calculate the best course of action.

Not anyone knows this. But you knew nontheless with Baptiste.

You may be underestimating him in some way, or you may have witnessed the genuine thing, up close and personal, but he always brags about his achievements without hesitation or shame. His fighting style turns wild and unpredictable when he fights. If Mauga doesn't want to win, he will take his time, before using ChaCha and Gunny, his chainguns, to grab the victory, and he won't give up until he achieves his objective.

He definitely is careless, isn't he?

"He's breathing just fine, Baptiste. I would say he is in perfect health, aside from the injuries, I can't detect any signs of any damage injuries either." You said as you stood up. Baptiste sighs relief. "I'll leave him to you doctor. Don't worry, I trust that you have everything under control." He says this to you while nodding in satisfaction.

This gesture of his is a way of gratitude towards the medic's work.

"I will be back later," he says as he leaves to make a round to prepare for battle.

While Baptiste was gone, you sat next to the downed mercenary soldier and begin to observe him. In the midst of his unconsciousness, he seems to be in a good state. There was no sign of discomfort or pain. His pulses are fast but steady, knowing that Mauga have two hearts, one that allowed him to replace his damaged, organic heart with a cybernetic one. That way, his heart will beat twice as fast. You can easily tell that Mauga is in his natural state.

Your eyes began to feel heavy after observing him for some time. You weren't sure if it's due to fatigue from watching him, or simply exhaustion from your duties as a medic.

Before you knew it, you fell asleep.

When you awoke, you find yourself staring back into the face of Maugaloa Malosi, whose lips formed into those flashing, same pasted smile as usual. “Ah, Doctor. How nice to see you again.”

You quickly wake up, sitting straight up on the chair. “M-Mauga!" You exclaimed, alarmed. "H-How is you- I mean are you feeling alright?”

He grinned at you. “I am feeling rather fine.” You let out a long, sigh of relief. However, you didn't anticipate that this would happen frequently. “I see..." You replied.

Silence takes over for a while. Mauga stared at you intensely before taking a step forward. “Your Y/N, correct? Baptiste little assistant. I've heard much about you, but never expect that I would get to get treated from you.”

You flinched slightly at his words 'assistant' and the word 'little', but you remained calm. “I'm glad that you feel better now. You should rest and recover. If you still need them..."

“I appreciate the concern,” he says as he reaches towards your shoulder. You instinctively raise your hands in preparation of blocking. This caught him off guard, causing him to pause in his movements, then booms laughing.

“My apologies, Teuila. I thought that you might have forgotten what I do here,” he said in that familiar, friendly tone.

“If I recall correctly, I haven't given you permission to touch me.” This comment caught him off guard as he chuckles deeply.

He stares at your hand for a while longer. You're beginning to become worried. After a brief silence, he reaches forward and lightly holds onto your wrist.

“That’s a very sensitive spot…” He whispers gently. Your heartbeat begins to accelerate. “And your pulse is fast. Is this normal?” he asks. “Yes,” you respond in a soft voice.

“Then why are you afraid? You know I'm not going to hurt you...” He grinned. His sharp teeth glinted menacingly in the dim light. "Surely you've already made a friend? You also gave him a lot of attention than you do with me. Or have you grown to dislike me?"

"...I... I beg your pardon-" your speech is interrupted by Baptiste with a tired expression.

"Hey... Sorry that I took so long. I went to gather supplies. Mission was a success." He sighed in relief as he approached you.

"Mauga, I'm glad your awake bud." Baptiste sighs in relief and smiles at Mauga. Mauga returned the gesture before looking back at you.

He still has that huge grin plastered across his features while his eyes darted towards yours. "You're crazy out there Mauga. Do you really think that you can defeat the enemies single handedly?" Baptiste says with a chuckle. “You know me Baptiste, I never do things without planning them out.” He grinned, revealing that row of dazzlingly white teeth. “I still don't understand how you've been knocked down so easily. It's hard to believe that you can be beaten like that.” Baptiste gives a half smirk, half frown.

You listen to their conversation, and you try to make sense of it. Mauga laughs at the situation, as if it's all so obvious. "C'mon, Baptiste, we have bigger problems than me right now. The mission is a success because we finally found the enemy camp. But it was a close call, and we needed your medical expertise to treat the wounded," Mauga explains to Baptiste while looking directly into his eyes with a sly smile. "I carried your massive ass in this camp with support of your weight alone. You ought to be pleased to have a subordinate with such skill." Baptiste smirks. He was referring to you. Mauga laughs at his friend's criticism, displaying his amusement at the circumstances.

"So yeah. It was pretty rough, but we managed to secure the objective! Isn't that great news?"

It's not really a surprise to you.

Mauga does tend to put himself in danger, especially when he's in an unfamiliar place.

This guy is completely reckless, which is why you can't believe that he managed to survive so many battles without falling apart or breaking down.

"Your a loose-canon, but I hope ended well..." you say calmly, hoping that you sound convincing enough.

"I can assure that I have the highest respect and admiration for your abilities as a medic. I would never doubt your skills, even if I hadn't personally experience how skilled you are in dealing with wounds." Mauga comments, he sounds sincere as ever.

Baptiste grins again. "That's a big ego of yours, my friend. You should consider giving a few compliments to the people who did more than you."

"I would love to, my friend, but there's nothing wrong with being modest about our accomplishments."

"Alright," Baptiste said, sounding annoyed.

--------

After several hours, days, months of treating your patients at base. You cannot help but wonder seeing Mauga quite often, whether that is purely because of duty or something else. Although it is difficult to tell what he's thinking, there are moments where you notice the way that he is constantly staring at you. Like he's trying to figure out something about you:

studying your appearance, facial expressions, mannerisms. Sometimes he gets lost in his thoughts, sometimes he appears to be lost in his own world, occasionally, you could catch him smirking knowingly, or even smiling to himself. These small gestures usually only occur during times when it's with you with him. Sometimes, the man is just too cheerful, or too energetic in general.

You could hardly handle the stress of handling all these patients in the infirmary on your own. You're starting to miss having Baptiste around to keep him occupied while you go through patients. You sighed loudly not until Mauga appears behind you

You found him with wounds on his chest and torso. You turn to look at him, "What happened?"

"Nothing serious..." He grins, showing his sharpened teeth.

"Just a minor injury, eh?" You raise an eyebrow at the mercenary, crossing your arms over your chest. Mauga simply shrugs as he sits on a table.

There was another period of silence between you two, and the atmosphere seemed to tense up considerably. This time, it's you who breaks the silence. "I'm sorry that you got injured. I don't know how I should react seeing someone else getting hurt so casually. You could have died out there. And that's not the worst thing that can happen," you said sarcastically and sternly.

He chuckles. "Oh really? Tell me more." He leans closer to your face, gazing deeply into your eyes. "Ah. So that's how it is."

You glare at him angrily, but he ignores you as you continue working. "Are you seriously going to mock me for worrying about you?"

"Not at all," he replied, with a hint of sarcasm. "But there is one thing that concerns me."

"What? You're going to insult me too, aren't you?" Mauga laughs while Y/N tends his injury.

The felt of your touch sends shivers throughout his entire body. He tries hard to suppress the sudden urge to grab her hand and hold on tightly. It's becoming harder to control these urges though. He shakes his head rapidly as he pulls away from you. He looks at you with narrowed eyes. "I'm not mocking you, you know?"

Your gaze flicks briefly to his. "Hm."

There was a short silence between you two, until you began to clean a cut on one of his legs. You noticed his gaze follow every movement of your fingers. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"I'd prefer that you didn't ask questions so frequently, Teuila."

"Teuila?" You face him. "You know, I never asked you of this... But why do you call me that?" He lets out a deep chuckle and replies. "Because you look like Teuila. It fits well, doesn't it?" He flashes you a warm smile before turning his head away again.

You shrugged of his answer, continuing your work without saying anything further, although you were extremely curious. "Teuila... What does that word mean?" There's a brief moment of silence in between the two of you once you finished cleaning up the blood staining his leg. A faint smile plays across his lips again. "I thought you were better than that."

"And you think that you're better than me?"

"Yeah," he replies smugly.

"Then... You've obviously underestimated me, don't you?" You give him a challenging smirk. He returns the smile with a smirk of his own, but he then turns serious again. His eyes narrow. "Let me enlighten you. That name means 'flower'. Do you understand what kind of flower it means?"

You gave him a blank stare. He continues to smirk, waiting for you to understand his meaning. Eventually, you sigh, putting your hands on your hips. "Do I look like I care to know?" You scoff, rolling your eyes lightly.

Mauga laughs. "Well, I guess it doesn't matter what you think of it..."

There was silence between you two for a few seconds, and you looked away with furrowed brows.

You finish patching up the mercenary, placing some bandages around him and securing them securely. "Now that I finished helping you, you're dismissed." You professionaly said after you made sure that everything was covered properly. Mauga laughs at this. "Really? Now? Just like that?" He asks mockingly.

"Yes Mauga, I don't have any other duties besides tending to your wounds. I've been doing that for quite some time now," you responded coldly.

Mauga raises an eyebrow at this. "You know, if you start beginning to care about those wounds, you might find yourself losing them. If you want me to leave your clinic quickly, then you'll have to earn my trust first, which requires some work."

You sigh heavily. Of course Mauga will insist on making things difficult for you. "I am no doctor Mauga, I cannot cure your injuries." You sarcasticly said.

"Oh I know that. But you're still willing to take the risk." He chuckled.

"You wouldn't had to waste precious time coming here in order to talk shit."

Mauga laughs at you again, grinning like a cat that ate the canary. "I wouldn't waste too much time coming here either, but I also wouldn't be able to enjoy it quite as much because you'll be gone by then," he says confidently. "Besides, you're not exactly known for your patience." You roll your eyes, turning back to the table in front of you.

"You know I've always wondered what it feels like to be your patient," Mauga mused. "To be the one receiving the attention of the most skilled medic in your battalion."

"You must be joking," you replied, you know what he meant, not wanting to think that you would ever become his patient.

"No. You know me... " He grins. You groaned. "Don't' make such assumptions, we don't know each other all that well yet."

"Yet..."

You glared at him as he laughed. "Whatever. It seems like there's no stopping you, is there? We haven't even officially met yet, and already you're acting as if you have a good relationship with me." You sighed exasperatedly, massaging the area of your forehead in irritation.

"Listen, Mauga. My job is simple, I care for my patients and treat them well. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Oh yeah? Well, maybe I'm different," he said cockily.

"How? Are you not afraid of dying?"

"No... No I'm not... I've done so much more reckless things than death." His expression suddenly shifted to an emotionless one. For a moment, it felt almost as if he wasn't looking at you anymore. Then he chuckled softly, giving you a playful wink. "But I'm no saint."

"It must be hard to admit being human." You shook your head slightly.

"Sometimes." His grin returned to his features.

You couldn't help but stare directly into his eyes for a little longer, taking in how dark they actually are.

Mauga shows a huge plastered face. His still wearing his dumb smile.

You blinked at him.

He blinked back.

You rolled your eyes. "Stop smiling so much." He continued to laugh, as you turned away from him again. Mauga stood up and stretched lazily, "I have something to attend to, I'll be seeing you later," Mauga teasingly said as he made his way towards the door. He opens it, but he glances back.

A small smirk forms on his lips.

You watch him disappear outside the door, closing it behind him with a click. Once the door closes you let out a heavy sigh, resting your back against the wall behind you. Your heart is racing a mile, a minute, both at the prospect of having finally been alone with Mauga again, and the strange feeling within you after you spent several hours alone with him.

This feeling...

It's definitely not normal.

End of part 1

Part 2- ???

#mauga #maugaloa malosi #mauga overwatch #overwatch mauga #overwatch #mauga x reader #ow mauga #mauga ho'okano #overwatch x reader