#yes I am crying why do you ask

[animebw]

God.

I love Fruits Basket.

So much.

#anime #the anime binge-watcher #tabw #fruits basket #froobs #fruits basket prelude #1819 aniwatch #yes I am crying why do you ask

[wizard-hubris]

AAAAUUUUUAUAUAUAUGHGHGHGHGHHG

#cr spoilers #the mighty nein reunited #caleb widogast #it's him!!!! IT'S MY BOYYYYY!!!!!! #;__________; #<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 #yes i am crying why do you ask #pre-professor widogast ALREADY starting on the ethics lectures MY BELOVED

[exhaustedwerewolf]

when the dnd session was so insane you’re like “damn I want to rewatch that bit” but you can’t because it was not an incredible fantasy film but just you playing make believe with your friends

#INSANE SCENES THIS EVENING #dialogue echoing in my head includes: ‘resurrection isn’t my strong suit’ // ‘then make it your strong suit’ #‘oh darling! don’t scare me like that. come here. let’s go home.’ // ‘what the fuck have you done?’ #‘(laughs) oh yes. I’m sure if all those people had just had a sword and a shield that things would have turned out differently. I’m being #lenient but my patience is running out. so spare me the insult of your sword. cunt.’ #‘ten million is a big number. it should feel different to one body in a cage or one hanging from the rafters but somehow it… it feels the #same.’ #genuinely stopped typing to do a despair event horizon stare into nothingness #our dm can cry on command lads and he was weaponising that today :’) #so many unbelievably fucked up things happened I cannot believe it and I am having a conspiracy theory board moment trying to make sense of #it #DnD #so many other moments I have written down but can’t remember verbatim but also WHY DIDN’T THEY ASK ME… IF I WANTED TO LEAVE #@CASUALAGRESOR IF YOU ARE READING THIS HOW DARE YOU I AM SO SAD

[thebirdandhersong]

we are all trying to reach home and belonging because we were made for something beyond this earth but why does it feel like some people have more access to that feeling right now

#in other words: i am once again asking why i am standing on the other side of the glass #the dorm people have been visiting each other?? people have been inviting each other over to their houses over the summer???? #people are extending invitations to their friends freely too????? i did not know this #i mean. why am i surprised WHY am i surprised #i HATE to be like. okay well why haven't you invited me. why have i never been invited by anyone before. it sounds like whining to my ears #i mean. i AM whining. i have been sitting in this space for the past 2 hours in the same room with these people #and i am STILL on the outside. there's only FOUR OF US IN THE ROOM #praying for strength bc i have no energy to cry again. like yes i know the lonely little girl is still alive and weeping in my heart #but i am too tired to beg for love i am too tired to perform for it i am too tired to hold my hands out and say: #may i please receive this too. I AM TOO TIRED. #tired of feeling like i'm injecting myself into conversations! of being HERE but not totally belonging! of being the odd one out! #i know they like me but do they love me! why does it always have to feel like i'm CONSTANTLY ASKING for love! #the waiting room chapter

[kimchokejin]

Tagged by @seoksao to do the "which character" personality test and post my results and honestly thank you so much for tagging me this was so fun because i'm obsessed with comprehensive personality quizzes (shocker) and i got a bunch of my coworkers to take it too and i loved seeing everyone's results! i could fit my top 46 in the screenshot so that's what you're getting

i could also see which character i was like from specific shows so they're not on the list but i was also similar to eric from that 70s show, jonah from superstore (a callout), peeta from the hunger games, and reid from criminal minds <3

Tagging: don't be nervous you can do this @courtthisdisaster (if you wanted to post it!), @blueside-hobi, @cheekyquokka, @hopeinthebox, @mutedstring, @not-so-secretly-mairon, @stardiviner13, and anyone who sees this!

#tag: i'm it! #seoksao #courtthisdisaster #blueside-hobi #cheekyquokka #hopeinthebox #mutedstring #not-so-secretly-mairon #stardiviner13 #i haven't done this in so long sorry if the tagging doesn't work #if you've already been tagged just message me i'll tell you where i live so you can come punch me in the face #i thought charlie swan at number 1 was the funniest possible result until i saw the guy from ratatouille was an option #dr. james wilson is also a callout. for me and all my fellow type 9s #i watched degrassi religiously and idk why i scored so high for connor the ONLY storyline i remember from him was the panty raiding #why yes i do have an excessive amount of repressed internal rage thanks for asking #i don't agree with my score for ann perkins but i sure am flattered! #i've never seen arrested development but i immediately knew i got michael cera #please never ask me to make a decision. i'll cry #the text is all different sizes but fixing it seems complicated #if you're reading this you should probably drink some water <3

[vulturereyy]

Explained this on a discord after someone pointed out (kindly) that I've been drawing a lot of pain lately and I finally articulated myself into what I want to say about it asfhggh: not to get profound on the gay bug play pretend website but there's something to be said about self-controlled fiction where the narrative automatically assumes and sides with the fact that the pain is real and is not to be put down or underestimated, and that the person experiencing it is actually in need of help, rather than assuming they are lying for handouts or for attention. And as much pain as that brings because hurt has to be involved in hurt/comfort, it always feels so much better to be in a setting where the overall narrative highlights the person suffering and not the 'burdens' they impose. As much as the pain has to be a part of it, it isn't about the pain for me. It's about the unconditional belief and validation of the pain. It's where the only fighting about the pain is the fight to conceal it, often to a breaking point, because of internalized fears. The act of getting the pain recognized is never an actual fight. It's about Going Thru It but the world and society at large is on your side for once.

#thumbs up crying emoji #yes i am disabled and neurodivergent why do you ask #rey thoughts #rey rambles #sorry hegemol you will continue to push yourself past your limits and get unfathomably injured #but you will also be unconditionally fretted over and tended to and mended #whump #angst

[allovesthings]

“At Winterfell, he always had an extra seat set at his own table, and every day a different man would be asked to join him”

And this right here is why I can’t say that Ned is bad at politics. He is good at it, in the north where he knows the men.

Also this quote right here is why the North is rising for Ned’s valiant little girl.This is part of his legacy and the complete difference between him and Tywin:

Being a decent man, albeit flawed, and deciding that children should be spared and protected instead of murdered, that he should listen and know his people, even if it could be seen it is “madness” and could lead to his death will be remembered by the people who followed him.

Also, I think that’s one of the point GRRM is trying to make with the entire series.

#am I crying writing this ? yes why do you ask ? #asoiaf #asoiaf reread #a song of ice and fire #ned stark #Eddard Stark #arya stark #arya's first chapter in king's landing #again Ned is flawed I don't want to erase that but still

[upperranktwo]

It's 6:30 and I haven't slept at all, from what I recall, I've almost been awake for 24 hours. I can't keep doing this (have been like this for years) I need to see a doctor about my unhealthy sleeping at some point lmao (will not see a doctor)

#my new main doc is so sexist i cba with him #debating taking me off anti depressents because he believes i'm just an emotional woman #jokes on him I stopped taking them because they made me sick #he also didnt wanna diagnose me with BDD until my 'husband' verifed it #sure lemme just ask the non existing husband of mine to ask him to tell you i see myself warped #it's on my record i'm single btw meaning he just thinks I should be married #so if I go to him saying i have insomia he'll start claiming it's because i'm a girl #oh when i told him i'm not married he asked if he could speak to my dad #good luck!!!! my dad talks to nobody he's worst than me in social situations #sky rambles ♡ #never forget the time I had an earache and a nurse asked me i was on my period and thats why I was crying #honestly fucking killing myself at this point man can't do shit #i've had bad ear pains since birth 😭 you can't make this shit up #i've had actually blood pouring out from my ears and still been told i'm exaggerating #can't wait to drop dead and i'll still be declared as alive because i'm a silly woman who is over the top #am I emotional??? yes #is that the cause of all my mental issues? i don't think so I think that's more physical verbal emotional and mental abuse but go off #i really REALLY shoukd be medicated but the sickness and weight gain which wouldnt go away was too much

[oatbugs]

@ west asians what do u do when a census/form asks you for ur racial identity ? personally i cry

#bc YOU KNOW when they say asian theyre almost always referring to east asians and like #and like esp if ur a pale west asian some ppl will literally tell u youre white . like some ppl straight up say u r white #bc u benefit from some of the privilege even tho white ppl have literally appropriated west asian features #and like u could put down just 'other' or 'asian other' but what does that even mean . what is the other #personally when asked that question i cry for 5 mins. put down asian other or smth. #gonna rant but feel free to respond or rb or w/e i talk a lot in tags in doesnt mean anything #anyway its so annoying when ppl equate white privilage and colourism bc like #my skin tone can appear so so much darker irl if im under the sun for longer than 4 seconds . u only see my face #from the front online . u also were not there when i was getting called uncivilised by like 10482 people at the ripe old age of #12 when i came here . like bro come on. if im having one of those days where my skin tone is paler and i my foundation matches my skin and #i havent been under the sun in a while yes i do benefit from colourism and i try to dismantle that where i can and acknowledging it etc #but to call . west asians in general but iranians specifically...white. bro #bc why are pale south asians not white and why are pale east asians not white but were white just bc u took our features and decided yh #lets have this be the beauty standard but westernise it and bastaedise it and not acknowledging where were getting this from and call the #ppl we stole these features from TERRORISTS . except theyre also white sometimes :) xoxo . fuck u . im so angry rn goodnight its 5 AM.

[plutonicbees]

"snowflake and safespace" <<<<<<< literally anybody and everybody in the trans mutants support group

#what the fuck that story was so cute #i am still reeling #yes i am emotionally invested in these characters i read about for 5 minutes why do you ask #marvel pride #marvel pride 2022 #shela sexton #morgan red #trans #trans rep #marvel comics #pride #marvel #trans girls b like i will make u cry with my sad stories and my powers and im like bby i am already crying at the name 'pity girl' #transgender #it feels unlikely but goddammit i want to see these character beyond this issue i need to see escapade's escapades!!! #nonbinary #nonbinary representation

[aftermathing]

I'm like. actively being abused at home. What do I even do about that.

#:// #Today she said I am disgusting and unapproachable and will never have friends or find love because I make everyone I meet uncomfortable #Because I don't shave my legs #When I told her I keep blacking out from my chronic pain she said 'that's a little dramatic' #When I told her I should probably go to the hospital for that she shushed me because she was trying to watch her fuckin. Fringe show #Always with the shushing. Every time I speak :(( #She said I should go out & do something and quit being so lazy. So i said I would ride my bike but the tire is flat #She said 'why are you so useless' :(( #When I was projectile vomiting for three days I told her I had a 104°F temperature and she said 'darn' #I asked if she wanted to watch Ponyo with me and she said 'oh my god I don't want to watch your stupid crap shit' #When I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up (agony for chronic pain btw) she felt where it was still sticky and said #I'm so stupid and it's my fault we have ants (we do not have ants) #So I said 'yeah mommy I think my fine motor skills are getting worse I can't hold things or swallow very well' #She said 'have you tried paying attention??' :(((( #I told her I had a sunburn and it hurt and she said 'youre so needy' #I got beat up in middle school and I was crying about it and she said it was all my fault because I was annoying #I was also sexually assaulted that same week but after the way she responded to that I was not going to tell her #One time when we were at the doctor and checked yes for suicidal thoughts she started screaming and crying #About how much we hate her and think she is a bad mother and how ungrateful we are #If I read this list to her she would say I was making it up and trying to make her look like a bad evil person #Because she is!!! She insults and belittles me so much I genuinely wish she would just beat my ass instead #I'm 20 years old why are you talking to me this way #I know it's all verbal abuse but. I'm so fucking miserable I want to die living here #Oh wait one time she strangled my little sibling because they complained about finding blood in their can of tuna

[indigodawns]

.

#whew you know when you've been Going for a while and then you get a break and you're still tired but you're also so so jittery #S WHERE IM AT OHHH MY GOD #luxury problem and it's totally fine but i am crawling up the walls my friends #also update time ig!! took my family to the autism group meeting thing on tuesday bc it was a meeting esp for that #and they kept throwing me glances throughout the info part like lol it's you JDFHJDFH it was v interesting #bc throughout it all it's like... here i have info about autism and here i have my 25 years lived experience without thinking i had autism #and since i wasn't diagnosed as a kid i wasn't as ~obvious about it and i find it hard to reconcile examples with myself if they #don't fit 100% (it's . the autism) so anyways it was v helpful!!! #and my mum was like ah yeah i always had moments where i thought so?? but then it didn't fit the cold white boy stereotype bc i #am empathetic and i have humour etc so she never mentioned it to me bc it's a big thing etc and tbf i wasn't ~ready pre-this year #but now it's like... ah yes i was always upset on holidays and they never got why (the change in Everything)... i was picky with food #and with new shoes and i HATED shopping and it overwhelmed me so much (still does) #i would ask my mum what tf i was feeling and why i was crying and i would analyse social interactions #and i'd have obsessions with media and horses etc. was big know-it-all. was so slow with some subjects at school #like yknow when you had to copy letters 80 times? that'd take me ages and i'd get a fail bc i was being so precise #anyways. enough signs methinks dfjhdjh so now im just trying to see where stimming & eyecontact come in? #i never noticed a problem with eyecontact but im trying to let myself not do it and it's kinda nice?? but idk #and stimming idk i used to suck my thumb for a long time but?? i wanna try things but whew internalised ableism etc #so see then im like so ARE YOU ACTUALLY-- but anyways it seems i am #and my mum made me realise that'd. explain why i suddenly developed depression around age 11 and never got out of it again #so lots of Thinking!!! and wanting to shelve things like ok great figured it out NOW WHAT but noooo #also stupid to do this on tumblr and not rly talk about it with irl friends but what do you say like #hello im autistic? yeah it surprised me too. no i can't really explain how it works for me. no that's not how the spectrum works #so here we are yes #<3

[katyspersonal]

45,46/107 is done

#doodles #wip #this whole mess started with just me trying to make self-reference for what eye/nose shapes each character has #so i don't have quite the same face syndrome #but as always i got too carried away #as you can see from the numbers i am not even halfway done #yes i have focus on 107 characters that are humans/pthumerians and i did not count patients with dialogue and most door npcs #never ask me about bloodborne headcanons ever #cracks are canon btw! #dunno if thats gehrman making manufacturing mistake because his hands were shivering #or doll having cried before and not remembering (crying out a GEM gotta damage face somewhat you know) #or just 30 years of nightmare taking its toll and no hunter bringing some glue with them #all kids these days bring is some dumb hunter tools and progressively gnc clothes! #there was doll repair kit in cut content by the way. honestly some cut content makes no sense to be cut. #but maybe they had to limit nice things hunter is allowed to do to doll to just one because soulsborne games are laconic with such stuff #i still wonder why aging happens in the dream but not in the nightmare #also how does aging really work paired with immortality??????

[nose-coffee]

someone in the comments of my Oops! All Cavaliers! AU: i want to study you

me: promise?

#everyone is being so nice to me in the comments of this fic what do i do!!!! #i accidentally wrote a crowd pleaser!! #i really thought people wouldn't like it!!! #i'm used to writing niche weird au's that get like 0 traction what is going on!!!!!! #im not complaining tho #it's really nice #writing #my writing #fanfiction #fuck off lou #my fanfiction #my post #preambles #my photo #my face #yes that is me #yes i am legitimately crying in that photo why do you ask

[gatun-gatunesco]

...

#and so i came back here. because in here i can find joy and sorrow. laugh a little and cry a lot because someone made a post i resonate with #it makes me feels understood. a private and intimate place that is also shared at the same time. and strangely; like a home #but i came back without knowing who i am. I see someone else in the mirror. Is that a monster? a sinner? a human? a normal man? #after all that effort leaving depression and self hate from my adolescence behind. from being proud of myself for being different to all me #was all a lie? how could i do such awful and terrible thing to the person i swore to protect? the person i love the most #i said i would never do that kind of unforgivable act. And here i am. Alive after the event. I want to drop dead. To dissapear from here. #But at the same time i want to fix what i did. in order to do that i need to heal. to change. be happy. to live. and i hate it #how can i do all of that with the weight of guilt crushing me and telling me i killed myself that day? i am just a shell of who i was #how to change what i thought was the best version of me? i was supposed to be different no harmful and kind man!!! #i already asked for help. and they told me it was not all my fault. But i still think it is. There is no way it can be 50/50 #physical actions are only responsibility of the ones who made it. circumstances are not a reason to diminish them guilt #a confused person is not deserving of any part of the guilt. they do not have control over themselves. but the other ones sure have it #yes. they might have started and added little physical actions. but i refused and it never came to completion. which is the opposite of min #physical trauma can spawn emotional and mental trauma as well. is way more bad and deep that the emotional one i might have #i want to kill that trash in front of the mirror. why are you still living bitch? just to be a parasite and hurt people on the go? #to make irreversible mistakes that affects every person around you? your decisions never end well. why do not you just give up already? #and yet here i am. trying to not isolate myself thanks to the safe place i found here. I can write what is on my mind. gives me some relief #because the only person i talked everyday is the same one i hurted as i never thought i would in my life #Hope i can found redemption one day. I hope they can heal and be happy soon and forever. #I am going to always be worry about them (i am sure of that) but i wish nothing but the best for them. I want nothing to hurt them again. #They never deserved the trauma and guilt. They suffered more than enough way before i step in and fucked up everything. #Life. if you can hear me. Please give them recovery. happyness. health and lots of love. They deserve it. Please #They did nothing wrong! Take them pain away and put it in me. I will stay alive just for that if is neccesary #I wanted to kill myself way long ago. but i still here. I might want to kill myself again. but i still will be here. #Just leave them be happy. That is what i really want

[outlying-hyppocrate]

imagine being like. human. i'm just a silly little creature. happy cryptid. occasionally a very sad cryptid who ponders its own existence and questions his sanity but. that's mostly during the winter months. we do not speak of the winter months. except for the fact that we are in them and. fuck never mind. i just need some tea and a bit of will wood to ensure my serotonin levels go back to normal and i can be. happy cryptid

#random thoughts #i also do this when i have deprived myself of food for a certain amount of time. don't worry. i am making spaghetti #there will be sauce. with an obscene amount of garlic. i apologize to potential vampire boyfriends #my stomach hurts though so. maybe i'll eat later #but FUCK. i don't want it to be cold #hng. microwaved pasta is just Not As Good. yknow what i mean. it tastes much better fresh #perhaps i will simply eat it cold. i will put parmesan on it. then it will not melt. melted parmesan makes me cry because #i'm a pathetic piss baby who can't stand the texture. or maybe it's the autism diagnosis i don't know #do not mind me. i am simply discussing whether or not i should eat my spaghetti #wait. why did i say making? i haven't even made it yet. lmao #yknow what? no spaghetti for today. i'll just suffer i guess #admitting to pain irl in any way is embarrassing as fuck for some reason? like i felt like i was going to die in french class #the lights were so bright and everyone was so so loud but i couldn't wear my sunglasses in class. hng. and then of course #it stressed me the fuck out. and then. stomachache. at that point i was ready to cry #then my friend saw me and asked if i was okay. i just said yes. she believed me. i think #still suffering. not fun. not fun at all #WHY THE FUCK AM I SO OFF TOPIC. credence you need to stop. please just post this already #actually wait. i will post this. and then just make the sauce. i will put it in the refrigerator and eat it the next day #it is similar to tomato soup. except. cold. and obviously thicker. i don't know why it tastes good. hng #on my way to make the sauce. goodbye everyone